deviantART: by:Zaxxxy

Hi #22!

~Zaxxxy — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 18:05:09 PDT

22 is a great number. It is divisible by both eleven and two, plus twenty-two and one. Whoa.

New poem, trying it out again. Confused on everything.

Temptations arise from unexpected areas, cause choices I'm not prepared for.

Recall, remove, repeat.

Don't let the cycle control you. Break free from it. Become your own being.

Hi #21.

~Zaxxxy — Sat, 21 Feb 2009 21:42:49 PST

yay, we're almost at 22! One of my favourite numbers. :]

Anyways, I'll take more photos soon, or maybe draw something really shitty and take a photo of it and put it up. 8]

I just have to find my camera...

Hello twenty.

~Zaxxxy — Sat, 13 Dec 2008 21:36:03 PST

I am not pleased.

HELLO NINETEEN

~Zaxxxy — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 18:19:10 PDT

I am in such a good mood!

My brother has found my transfer cord, but even better than that:

BOB IS STILL ALIVE!

But, there was really not actual threat. I just hadn't spoken to him in almost three weeks. And he said something to meeee! I'm so happy now. It really really made my day amazing.

So. New pictures for you...new devID for me...maybe some laughs at mine and Ryan's expense for you...an amazing mood for me. :]
It all will balance out.

That boy in the Laugh deviation? He's my best friend. He makes my bus rides incredible and I love him bunches.

Hi #18.

~Zaxxxy — Sat, 20 Sep 2008 20:23:21 PDT

Long-sleeved shirts aren't that bad.

I'm tired, and achy.

However, I talked to "dreamy" Bob today, and it was definitely the highlight of my day.

Might go transfer a LOT of pictures and upload a few (probably not <3).

I'm mad at people who use Comic Sans MS on everything.

Hi #17.

~Zaxxxy — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 17:51:22 PDT

Have you heard of Bindi Bindu?

I have.

And I LOVE Bindi Bindu.

Buy the books.

Read them, or listen on tape.

My day is so much better now.

Hi #16.

~Zaxxxy — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 18:31:27 PDT

My goodness, I have been called very talented.

I am ORANGE PEEL ecstatic.

The HIGHEST level of ecstaticism that there is for me.

And then I show it to my favourite photographer in the entire world (Bob Milsom), and he says it's nice. Man. I am SO happy.

Hi #15.

~Zaxxxy — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 21:40:46 PDT

I've been setting way too many things on fire lately.
Such as:
-Certificates that are supposed to be 'awards'.
-Letters (not those sent to me, I love those, just the ones I've written but never sent)
-A few notebooks/journals
And other things. Nothing that didn't belong to me personally, and certainly not any houses.

I finished the final (I hope @_@) version of the letter I'm sending Bob today. It's so awful and hard to read. I hope he'll forgive me.

I feel horrid.

Hi #14.

~Zaxxxy — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 19:19:04 PDT

New deviations.
I like doing the photography thing, even though I'm complete shit at it.

Bob is not though..and I strive to be like him, I suppose.

He's so nice.

BREAKING DAWN COMES OUT TOMORROW! YAY!

Amazon says I won't get my copy until 6 August though...I'm sad now. I'd better stay off the internet until then. ~_~

Hi #13.

~Zaxxxy — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 19:23:17 PDT

Delete (almost) every deviation I've ever put up on here?
Then rip apart every piece of writing I could find?

Why...of course that didn't happen.

Oh wait, yes it did.

Wonderful. I'll regret this in the morning.

12

~Zaxxxy — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 19:21:55 PDT

I'm wondering why I put numbers as the titles. :/

Didn't really like v6 that much when I first saw it, but it's starting to grow on me.

Also, I've never liked that phrase (starting to grow on me). It sounds like you're getting moldy, or something odd like that...

Hm.

New deviations? D:

Hello, this is number eleven.

~Zaxxxy — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 23:15:09 PDT

I'm sure nobody does, but I'm wondering if anyone happens to remember what I used to call my little imaginary world.

Cause I sure don't, and it's really bugging me now D:

Glad I'm on speaking terms with Sal again, though.

Okay, I got back on those terms a while ago..but whatever.

EDIT:
I remembered when I woke up randomly at 4 in the morning.
It was Lugasmosh. :]

10

~Zaxxxy — Sun, 11 May 2008 18:05:02 PDT

Wow, I bet even though i told myself i'd start coming back at least monthly starting today, I won't.

:/

New thing posted though : D

Hi guys.

I missed you all. :]

Hi #9.

~Zaxxxy — Sat, 19 Jan 2008 13:29:29 PST

Wow.
It's been a while, eh?
Not that anyone reads this, but still.

No, I haven't really done anything in the past 3/4 months. I've wanted to die, yes.
I've felt extremely betrayed, yes.

But other than that, not really.

I have 600 deviations to look at.
Woo.

Hi #8.

~Zaxxxy — Sat, 22 Sep 2007 07:14:33 PDT

Hello.

Again.

It's only been about..two months? Yeah, around there.

Two more people hate me now. -thumbs up-

I miss Nadja and Jens and Vance and alhgidslfj and w8u42qwekjdsanlgasjdflkjdsalkjg ALJGHIAOSJREIJR.

D:

Hi #7.

~Zaxxxy — Wed, 25 Jul 2007 18:16:08 PDT

Hi.

...

I just wanted the other one gone.

Hi #6.

~Zaxxxy — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 10:37:31 PDT

Good afternoon.

I'm becoming numb again.
Blocking out many emotions.
Quite nice.

Rebuilding my barriers.
Sky said not to,
I don't care.
Makes my life easier...
To block out the painful things.

...
Hi.

My name is Aubree.
I am commonly called Aubria.

I hate myself, most days.
Today is not one of those days.

I do not believe it when people call me pretty.
Because I've been lied to so many times.

I play Tenor and Alto saxophone.
Supposedly I'm good.
Maybe, maybe not.
You decide.
No,
I do not have a clip for you to hear.
So...
You cannot decide.
I'm sorry.

I have extremely low self esteem.
As I mentioned before.

I find it hard to trust people.

I'm slowly regaining trust,
Of those that betrayed me so long ago.

I'm told that I am
"Pretty Fucked Up".
I do not disagree.

I am in fact
A twelve-year-old girl.
Though I am, quote
"Way too mature to be one".

I do not know why I typed this.
Nobody will read it.

Good bye.

Hi #5.

~Zaxxxy — Mon, 02 Jul 2007 18:26:13 PDT

- I look EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
- I'm BLACK, so I MUST carry a gun.
- I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
- I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be smart.
- I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
- I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
- I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
- I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
- I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
- I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
- I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
- I'm an ATHEIST, so I MUST hate the world.
- I DON'T HAVE A RELIGION, so I MUST not have morals.
- I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
- I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
- I'm JAMICAN so I must smoke weed.
- I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
- I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
- I TAKE ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
- I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
- I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
- I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
- I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming
like a savage.
- I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
- I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a stuck up whore.
- I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
- I wear skirts a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
- I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
- I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
- I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
- I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth.
- I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a stupid ditz.
- I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
- I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
- I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
- I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
- I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
- I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
- I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
- I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a big peter.
- I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
- I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
- I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
- I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
- I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
- I'm INTO THEATER ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
- I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
- I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
- I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay.
- I HAVE BIG BOOBS, so I MUST be a whore.
- I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
- I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
- I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool.
- I'm GERMAN, so I MUST be a Nazi.
- I hang out with GAYS, so I MUST be GAY TOO.
- I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
- I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
- I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
- I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
- I'm HAWAIIAN, so I MUST be lazy.
- I'm a STONER, so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
- I'm a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude.
- I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy.
- I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon and fried chicken.
- I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
- I'm ASIAN, so I MUST have a small penis.
- I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
- I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
- I'm PREP, so I MUST be rich.
- I don't like the SUN so I MUST be albino.
- I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
- I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
- I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
- I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
- I hang out with teenaged drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
- I'm CHRISTIAN, so I MUST hate gay people.
- I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who
don't.
- I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
- I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
- I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an overcontrolling bitch.
- My hair gets GREASY alot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
- I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be overcontrolling and a bitch.
- I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
- I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
- I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.
...

Hi #4.

~Zaxxxy — Sat, 30 Jun 2007 14:36:35 PDT

Fuck love.

Again.

Hi #3.

~Zaxxxy — Sat, 23 Jun 2007 18:56:17 PDT

Yes, I am incredibly regretful today. Have been since Wednesday. Would you like to know why? <- Rhetorical question.

The guy I love[d] (not sure anymore) had been busy, he says, and hadn't been speaking to my friend or I. We were kind of pissed/upset because of this. She told me that I should say something to him, for he'd just continue to do it unless I brought it to his attention. I took her advice and told him that it was upsetting me, and he started yelling at me. If you know me, you know I don't deal with yelling well, and he knew this quite well. I was told that I wasn't looking at it from HIS point of view. How can you when the person isn't speaking to you and you have no idea as to what's going on?! He hasn't spoken to me in the past four days.

Obviously, I'm terribly upset. Why am I regretful, though? I am regretful because I know if I hadn't spoken up, he would not be angry at me. I could have just put up with not being spoken to before Wednesday, not said anything, went on with my life and hoped he would speak to me soon. Why must I take the advice of others? It always seems to screw up my life.

I do not want sympathy, though no one would read this to give it, anyways. I do not want words of advice, seeing as advice got me into this mess.

I'm going to go write some of my damn story after this.

Moving on to a different subject, though still contributing to my bad mood...

Nah, never mind. Fuck it.

I'm going to write now.

Hi #2.

~Zaxxxy — Tue, 22 May 2007 17:55:16 PDT

~INTRODUCTION~
Hello, this is Aubria.

~SCHOOL~
Decent, I suppose.
Math--Besides the fact that we're making KITES in math class. Now..I know that kites have polygons in them and such, but what else has to do with math? We also have to work with the Special Education students. Now, don't get me wrong, I've nothing against them, but it gets slightly bothersome to have a kid screaming because, quote: "MY BOOK ISN'T HERE!" end quote. We aren't reading while making the kites. I'm much too impatient for this.
Social Studies--We're learning about Canadia(NO, NOT CANADA) now. I've nothing against Canadia either, it's one of my favourite countries, though I've never been there, but the teacher is so...let me think of a word...EVIL/BORING/ANNOYING/JUSTSTFUBEFOREIGOINSANE.
Tech & Band--Fine.
Science--Just annoying.
English--I've nothing wrong with this class, and love it.

~HAIR~
I got it cut to my shoulders today. Whenever I get a picture, I'll make a new ID with my short hair.

~UH. I HAVE NO TITLE FOR THIS~
So...recently my-very-best-friend-in-the-world-who-I-love-with-all-my-heart-but-he-doesn't-really-care-at-all-and-doesn't-notice-though-it's-very-obvious started talking to me. I'd tried very, very hard to banish the thoughts and feelings about him, to prevent further pain in the future, you see? But he just comes barging back into my heart and all those thoughts and memories and feelings come rushing back. I don't really mind them, but I know that it will end. And I'll be hurt. And if anyone noticed (highly doubtful) between my first journal entry ever to my second, there was a 4 month break. This was because I had been hurt by him so badly that I just kind of went into a little...bubble-like thing. I refused to be happy, though I pretended for the sake of others. It was rather convincing to some, too. And I really don't want that to happen again. But I know it will. And I can't do anything to prevent it now.

Crud. Forgot what else I was gonna put. I'll add it later or something.

Hi.

~Zaxxxy — Wed, 16 May 2007 17:01:25 PDT

~INTRODUCTION~

I am a new, kinda emotionless person.

I've gotten rid of all emotions (or am trying, still having some difficulty with that anger/sadness thing) besides happiness.

Because Cym said so.

Actually, he said to get rid of all emotions, but I'd look really emo if I did that, and Cym hates emos.

Also...I'm not done with adoring someone. I admitted to him over the course of this past weekend that back in October (few people know what happened then) I really hated him for a long time. Until around January. He missed a lot, as you might be able to guess. So I told him a few of those seakrets which no one knows..except maybe Cassandra...And my heart is slowly healing back into place. I really shouldn't be allowing it to, though. Seeing as it will just tear apart again anyways, with more pain than before...

Ah well. Perhaps I should follow Cym's advice and go completely emotionless.

That's a decision for another day.

Or maybe consider what Jens told me long ago, about how love is just so damn confusing, and difficult.

He said something of the sort, anyways. I lost that MSN log.

~SECRET-SECRETS~

Still, I hold secrets nobody knows. Came close to telling Jens once. Decided against that when I realized that nobody else would want to share the burden.

But it hurts still, all the same...I just wish I had someone to tell.

Maybe I could confide in...no. Better banish that thought pretty fast. Before I actually consider it.

Hm..time for a less-confusing topic.

~HAIR CUT~

Next Tuesday, May 22, 2007, I am -probably- getting my hair cut to around my shoulders. Which is about 25 centimetres/10 inches.

Hah...that's also the day I have a ceremony thing at school for having a GPA of over 3.7, bet they're gonna be pissed if it ends up looking bad.

And the Tuesday after that, May 29, 2007, I have a band concert! In which I have -three- solos. Hm..this would be awful if it turned out bad.

Gotta take chances though.

Wow, I made it through this whole thing without using a smiley.

Cool.

I doubt anyone took the time to read this...but if you did, thanks.

-goes to section it off for you-

Done.

EXTREMELY LONG.

~Zaxxxy — Fri, 02 Mar 2007 17:43:11 PST

Yeah, so this is a Ventrilo chat. Very long.

'Sai' has joined the chat.
'Zaxxx' has joined the chat.
Sai: =O
Zaxxx: =o
Sai: That's a giant mouth ._.
Sai: O xD
Zaxxx: Lol.
Sai: Blackies r hir lololo
'BlackieChan' has joined the chat.
Sai: hi2u bleckz
BlackieChan: eh
Zaxxx: lol. hai.
BlackieChan: ah sai
Sai: TIS OUR TURF =o
BlackieChan: the israeli?
Sai: >_>
BlackieChan: yus or nay
Sai: I'm not very proud of that.
Zaxxx: >_>
BlackieChan: lamah?
Zaxxx: <_<
Sai: Because of THAT
BlackieChan: hebrew?
Sai: Engbrew.
BlackieChan: atah lo midabere evreet?
BlackieChan:
Sai: ani medaber tov me'od >_>
Sai: I hate EngBrew.
BlackieChan: ani midabere kzat evreet
Zaxxx: I don't speak that language.
BlackieChan: ani ohev zeh
Sai: lol
Zaxxx: *left out*
BlackieChan: key
BlackieChan: zeh
BlackieChan: lol
Sai: Zaxx he says he talks Hebrew
Sai: I said I hate EngBrew
BlackieChan: zaxx lo choshev mah ani omer
Sai: >_>
Sai: Oh great... xD
BlackieChan: ENGBREW IS SEXY
Zaxxx: ...
BlackieChan: ok im done speeking it
BlackieChan: anyway
BlackieChan: whats goin on
Zaxxx: What did he say?
Sai: ENGBREW IS FOR NUBS AND BOWJESTERS
Zaxxx: tell me now Sai >
BlackieChan: i said
Sai: He says you don't know what he says
BlackieChan: zaxx dosnt understand what we're saying
BlackieChan: which is why we should speak it
Sai: no..
Zaxxx: -.-
Sai: You speak it.
Sai: I generally dislike it
BlackieChan: hmm
BlackieChan: sai
BlackieChan: why?
BlackieChan: its your county's language
Sai: Because I like talking English more, when not verbal
Zaxxx: Maybe Sai doesn't like his country?
Sai: I speak hebrew enough IRL -.-
BlackieChan: maybe <.<
Sai: Lol I half-like it
BlackieChan: where are you from in israel?
Sai: After all, it has benefits too
Zaxxx: Theres still the 50% of it you hate.
BlackieChan: yus it does
Sai: NirDavid
Sai: Yeah I hate it 50%
BlackieChan: cool
Zaxxx: So maybe the language is included in the 50%.
BlackieChan: i love israel and the langauge
BlackieChan: the clubs
BlackieChan: the bars
BlackieChan:
BlackieChan: tis sexy
Sai: Goverment, arsawetts, nah language I love (Quite good at it, more than average)
BlackieChan: Arsawetts?
Sai: "ars"
BlackieChan: i love the language 2 i dont speak it to well
BlackieChan: i dont know what it is
BlackieChan: explain
BlackieChan: :3
Sai: lol
Sai: You don't? xD
Zaxxx: dundundun.
Sai: Those are the guys that speak slang all the time and have general brain disability
Sai: Recent word I found out was "glleba" xD
Zaxxx: Am I allowed to laugh at these people?
Sai: Means "slide" I think
Sai: YES
Sai: LAUGH AT ARSAWETTS
Zaxxx: *laughs at them*
Sai: yeay
Sai: More Than A Feeling is made of clear win.
BlackieChan: hmmm
Sai: So Blackie, how come you don't know Hebrew well? You just got to Israel?
Zaxxx: Wha?
BlackieChan: i dont live in israel
Sai: ..
BlackieChan: i visit there every yeah
BlackieChan: year
Zaxxx: What is this "More Than A Feeling" thingy?
BlackieChan: my vamily is from israel
Sai: A song.
BlackieChan: *family
Sai: Boston - More Than A Feeling
BlackieChan: so i know a little hebrew
Sai: oh
BlackieChan: enough to get me through the day
Sai: I guess
Sai: Just don't show off with that... we're the 2nd best contry in producing noobs.
Zaxxx: lol.
Sai: BRs have a clear advantage xD
Sai: But yeah we're mostly noobs here
Sai: lol at your posts in the thread there Zaxx xD
Sai: lol at your posts in the thread there Zaxx xD
Sai: lol at your posts in the thread there Zaxx xD
Sai: lol at your posts in the thread there Zaxx xD
Sai: lol at your posts in the thread there Zaxx xD
Sai:
Sai:
Sai:
Sai:
Sai:
Sai:
Sai:
Sai:
Sai:
Sai:
Sai:
Sai:
Sai: <...

Don't You Get It?!

~Zaxxxy — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 16:44:29 PST

Yeah, the person who I'm talking about is never going to see this I bet, but you're on my MSN list if you do happen to see it. So remember that.

When I say "I Love You" or "<3" or "I have abandonment issues" or am always stalking/clinging to you/bothering you/hugging you, understand that I'm NOT kidding. Any of those things, are signs that I'm either:
a. Falling in love with you.
or b. Already love you.

Seriously, I don't understand why you always think I'm kidding. If I was, I probably wouldn't say it. Got it? Good.

To Cymie(who will probably never see this):
Words can't thank you enough for being there to help me. You're the reason I'm doing better, know that.
Also, sorry I yelled at you x.x
*hug*

To Zero:
I love you.

<_<
>_>

Yup. All done.

I've Stolen This From Haylay.

~Zaxxxy — Wed, 21 Feb 2007 17:38:44 PST

Name: Aubree
-- Alias: Aubree/Zaxxxy/Zax
-- Birth date: April 26th, 1995
-- Birthplace: A hospital in Michigan o:
-- Birth time: 11:05am
-- Gender: Female
-- Angel: No idea.
-- Birthstone: Diamond I think...
-- Zodiac: Taurus/Pig-boar-thing -.-
-- Pet cats: 2
-- Pet dogs: 1
-- Other: No.
-- Acreage yard: 1.5 or something.
-- Rooms in your house: 5 or so.
-- Bathrooms in your house: 2
-- Phone#: Are you trying to stalk me? >_>
-- City: You wish you knew.
-- Province: Or state? Michigan.

-----------------WHAT IS--------------------
-- Your thoughts first waking up: I miss Zero.
-- The first feature you notice in boys/chicks: Personality
-- Your best physical feature: Nothing.
-- Your bedtime: Weekdays: 9pmish. Weekends: 2-3am.
-- Your greatest accomplishment: Nothing.

------------------DO YOU---------------
-- Smoke: No
-- Cuss: Nope
-- Sing: Sometimes, only to people I really like though.
-- Take a shower everyday? Most of the time. -closes all the blinds-
-- Have secret crush(es): I guess, but he knows, so not really.
-- Who are they: Zero...shhhh.
-- Think youve been in love: Yes. They killed my heart each time though.
-- Want to go to college: Sure
-- Like high school: N/a.
-- Want to get married: Of course.
-- Type with your fingers on the right keys: Yes.
-- Get motion sickness: Rarely.
-- Think you're a health freak: No.
-- Think youre attractive: Nope.

------------HAVE YOU EVER------------
-- Drank alcohol: Si, senor(a)...Yes.
-- Smoke(d): No.
-- Made out: Nope
-- Gone on a date: No
-- Been on stage: Choir/Select Ensemble/Band
-- Been dumped: Yes.
-- Gone skating: No.
-- Made homemade cookies: Yeah.
-- Been in love: Yeah. Killed me though.
-- Dyed your hair: Ha, no.

-----------------HAVE YOU EVER------------------
-- Flown on a plane: Once.
-- Missed school because it was raining: nope
-- Told a person that you liked them: Yeah.
-- Cried during a movie: No. I don't cry in front of other people.
-- Ever thought an animated character was hot: No
-- Had a imaginary friend: I have too many to list.
-- Cut your hair: Uh, I got a hair cut once.
-- Had crush on a teacher: No.
-- Played a game that required removal of clothing: No, but I sense that I will in the future.
-- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: No
-- Been caught doing something: Nope
-- Been called a tease: Yes >_>
-- Gotten beaten up: Kinda.
-- Been in a fight: yeah.

----------------FAVORITES---------------
-- Fave Color: Blue.
-- Day/Night: Night, nobody can see my tears..
-- Summer/Winter: Neither. Spring/Fall ftw.
-- Lace or Satin: I don't care.
-- Fave cartoon Character: Scooby Doo
-- Fave food: Ramen.
-- Fave movies: The Nightmare Before Christmas
-- Fave sport: Volleyball or Soccer. I got a pretty good serve.

---------------DO YOU BELIEVE IN--------------
-- Yourself : Not anymore..
-- Your friends: I believe in them way more than myself.
-- Santa Claus: Not really.
-- Tooth Fairy: No.
-- Destiny/Fate: Some days yes, some days no.
-- Angels: No.
-- Ghosts: Eh...I guess not.
-- UFOs: No.
[Lol, I'm very un-believing]
--------FRIENDS AND LIFE------------------
-- Do you ever wish you had another name: Sometimes.
-- Do you have a gir.lfriend/boyfriend: I wish.
-- Do you like anyone?: Yeah
--Which one of your friends act most like you: Nobody. But if I had to pick one who is kinda like me, Brie.
-- Who have you known the longest of your friends: Aimee.
-- Are you close to any family member?: Not really. My grandfather I suppose.
-- Who do you hang around the most? Hm. Real life: My grandfather, Brie, Aimee, Josh-ooh-wuh, Eric, Ryan, and Nick. Internet: Cassandra, Leigh, Jens, Pol, Dave, Seth, Eric(a different one).
-- When have you cried the most: October 11th, 2006. That awful...awful day. *crys*
-- Whats the best feelings in the world?: Love. If they love you back of course.
-- Worst feeling: Lonely-ness.
-- What time is it now: 8:34pm

-------------------CURRENT-------------- ------
-- Current Mood: Lonely, depressed, upset, angry..kinda happy too.
-- Current music: Nothing.
-- Current taste: Pepsi and my own saliva.
-- Current hair: Long, brown, not tied back.
-- Current annoyance: Zero not being around ._.
-- Current smell: Air.
-- Current thing I ought to be doing: Showering.
-- Current desktop picture: Blue feather thingy.
-- Current book: Right now I'm readin...

About the Poems,

~Zaxxxy — Sun, 18 Feb 2007 17:04:58 PST

Okay, in case any of you are like, reading, and getting concerned about if any of this crap is actually happening to me, it's not. Well...in a way it's related to how I'm feeling, but not actually happening. Like that whole abusive thing poem, that didn't happen. But that related to my feelings. Don't ask me how, as I won't tell you, but yeah.

Off of that topic...
I love you. No, not Fuel, and not Rows. Somebody else. Who will probably never see this. BUT, you are on my MSN list. So...yeah >_>

Blah. Love.

~Zaxxxy — Thu, 15 Feb 2007 17:49:40 PST

H'okay. A bit of an update.
So, that person, who shall now be known as A, has been told that I loves him. I actually told him in Swedish, and he used a translator and figured it out x.x
I told him this on Valentines day(aka, death day) and he didn't get angry or anything. Somehow stories about my past relationships poured out of my mouth and I'm not sure if that creeped him out or anything...

I had been obsessed with this kid in my band and english class before, and still slightly am, and someone told him. He won't tell them/me if he likes me or not because it would ruin our friendship. Ugh. I'm sick of love again.

Hahaha. I like that mood thing.

Worthless.

~Zaxxxy — Fri, 02 Feb 2007 20:26:56 PST

Why can't I do anything right?
It's always "No, do this. No, do that. No no no no no no!" It's starting to damage me emotionally. I'm thinking it's selfesteem, or self confidence, one of those.

People just don't seem to understand I'm not perfect. Not at all. I'm not pretty. I'm not the master of all the school subjects. I'm not something special. I'm not someone you'd notice if you walked by(unless I was in one of my emo states). I'm nobody. I'm nothing. I'm useless. I'm a drag on other people. I'm just...awful.
I wish someone was here to make me feel special, and worth something. There was someone, but now theres nobody. I want to feel loved. I want to feel needed. ;_;

Wow...Immo is mentioned alot in here...

~Zaxxxy — Wed, 24 Jan 2007 17:38:49 PST

I love him, but I can't tell him, in fear that I'll be murdered with words.

Immo liked that line so I must keep it<3

I feel as though I've been rejected by everyone. People have stopped talking to me. It also seems as though whenever I walk past people in the hallway of school, there's giggles. Like someone has made a joke out of me or something. If that's ever happened to you, you KNOW how that feels. To describe it to you people that have great, fantasmical lives, it feels like someone that you loved a whole lot, and they loved you back just as much, has instantly hated you. For no reason.

Moving on to what I was talking about last time I wrote in this thing...
It's gotten worse. It had gotten better after I talked to Immo about it, since he's ever so helpful(I'm not being sarcastic), but now that help is fading away, and I'm feeling worse than I was before Immo talked to me. The person I was refering to in that last journal has stopped talking to me. No reason. Just won't talk to me. I obviously fail at relationships, so I gave up. But I'll make an exception for a certain person >.> COUGHCOUGHWHOSNAMESTARTSWITHJCOUGHCOUGH. Yeah, nobody read that, uh-huh.

I bet I've bored you guys with this...though I bet nobody reads these anyways. But phonet and Immo read the last one so I'm writing another >
I'm still not done.

@Immo--You've got all my friends hooked on the Swedish version of Hakuna Matata. TEACH ME YOUR LANGUAGE DDDD:

@phonet--You rock.

I'm so sick of people calling me "Aubree Atheist" at school. That's my new name, you see, because I'm not a Christian. People are so...religionist? If you're not one of them, you can just gtfo. At least some of my closest friends haven't abandoned me yet ._.

<3 you guys.

~Aubree.

._.

~Zaxxxy — Mon, 01 Jan 2007 13:56:18 PST

The evil "You Will Have Horrible Relationships Monster" has won. I've given up monster. I. GIVE. UP.

It's just pointless. I thought he loved me, and now he won't talk to me. I KNOW I love him, but I can't tell him, in fear that I'll be murdered with words. I've told him before, and he said he loved me before, but not today. I give up.

See the new poem? Yeah, that's about him.

Hahaha!

~Zaxxxy — Sat, 23 Dec 2006 21:15:00 PST

So, on FlyFF, my friend wanted a sleigh. Its a part of an event, you use it like a hoverboard/broomstick. I was about to go to sleep(just now), and I decided to kill one more monster. It dropped a box, and can you guess whats in it? A SLEIGH!

Also, new poem about emptiness. Yes, I feel empty.

I have to shower and sleep now.

Happy Hanukkah.
Merry Christmas.
Happy Kwanzaa.

~Zaxxxy(Aubree)

EDIT: WRONG! I HATE ROLLBACKS!!!! The sleigh is GONE.

Feliz navidad. Feliz navidad. Los queros anos felizi dad.

Woot.

~Zaxxxy — Sat, 16 Dec 2006 08:32:40 PST

Thank you to guloona for adding my poem to her(Sorry if your a he!) favourites ^^

:o

~Zaxxxy — Sun, 03 Dec 2006 10:20:33 PST

I have another deviantion! *shock*

Its a poem I wrote about...1.5 months ago, when somebody broke my heart >.>

The other thing is still in my scraps since I don't feel like removing it, and its a photoshop thing. The title sucks on both of them D:

Devious Journal Entry

~Zaxxxy — Fri, 11 Aug 2006 17:49:43 PDT

scrap. Its not good at all. Its a kittie drawn in paint(as it says in the description). Since I'm WAY too lazy to figure out what section to put my junk in if I had put 'Deviation', all my stuffs will be in scraps.

^^

<3
Zaxxxy
(Aubree)