deviantART: by:Zedul

deviantART: by:Zedul http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:Zedul&section=today deviantART RSS for by:Zedul en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Mon, 23 Nov 2009 02:48:05 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png No Stuff Right Now http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/28500042/ http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/28500042/ Sun, 22 Nov 2009 01:16:02 PST Watch me Note me Journal Instructions

Holy hell!

Right now I have gone about 60 days or so without a good sturdy block of sleep... the pain of my illness has hit such extremes now that I cannot sleep without hurting myself, even after taking substantial amounts of narcotics.

It's kinda like that episode of BSG.... "33" You know, those frakkin

are coming for me every 33 minutes without a break so I get like, little half hour blocks of sleep all day long. Enough to survive on but I feel sorta like a zombie.

In any case I am too messed up to do any shooting, and I am in a bit of a financial bind on top of it - medical expenses are just killing me and I need to replace 3 lights, a hard drive, and a camera again... ugh! No HD room = no photo editing.

Finally I am sorta fed up with the industry right now. Arizona, which used to be a hotbed of good photography talent, has gone downhill fast... and the town I live in, is just inundated with a whole crew of photographers who live on Lucas Art and bullshit - and they gotta shoot with EVERY MODEL they see. Logging in and seeing all this terrible work is so uninspiring... and they have every 5'2 girl in town convinced that dressing in off the rack Target clothes and posing "bendy" is somehow equivalent to fashion. And furthermore... these girls show up and they are so full of bad habits from all that manufactured crap that they start doing these canned "faux model poses" and I have to work 3x as hard to get anything good from them. It's like an outbreak of artistic anthrax - everyone within a hundred miles of me is infected and dying as an artist and it's effectively choking all the talent.

It's all very depressing.

]]> *Zedul Slow Times http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/27909009/ http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/27909009/ Thu, 22 Oct 2009 16:06:58 PDT
Took the time to go back and watch some late 80's / early 90's movies that I missed and never watched because the task always seemed a bit tedious.

Oliver Stone's "JFK" - wow, what a jumbled mess of a movie that ignored the obvious and wasted at least a dozen great performances. Loved John Candy's bit the best, made me wish he had a few more serious roles in his career.

"Full Metal Jacket" - I generally dislike VW flicks but this one was all right. I think of the movie as good in two of three parts - the first part was whenever Vincent D'Onofrio (as pvt. Pyle) was on the screen, one of the truly great unappreciated actors of our time and just a gut-wrenching performance here. A reminder of what REALLY would have happened to Forrest Gump or "Bubba" in the USMC. The 2nd part was bleh - and the 3rd part where we meet Animal Mother (played by Adam Baldwin of Firefly and Chuck) was also very cool and a bit haunting. Typical Kubrick movie... brilliant in the beginning and the end, drags in the middle.

"Dying Young" - Vincent D'Onofrio again with Julia Roberts. A movie I had always heard was "terrible" but was actually pretty decent and worthy of a look, if only just to remind yourself how easy it would be to fall in love with Ms. Roberts.

]]> *Zedul Middle Finger at Adobe! http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/27771253/ http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/27771253/ Wed, 14 Oct 2009 20:57:53 PDT
The filmstrips won't align, the folders won't load, and I keep getting the "adobe bridge has stopped working" message.

I go to the Adobe website and they say "we no longer support Adobe Bridge for CS3 - but we will fix your problem if you upgrade to CS4"

Ok wait a second... 15 months ago I buy CS3, the full EIGHT HUNDRED DOLLAR version, and less than two years later they no longer support it?

What the hell has happened, this used to be a good company.

I searched the net for remedies and mostly found angry Adobe users cursing the problem and the company and swearing vengeance, not a good sign!

I did a complete re-install but nothing changed. Wow! So I am starting to wonder if Adobe just cut us all off so we would have to upgrade to CS4? Seriously... I am not paying two hundred dollars every year to upgrade. I went from Photoshop 6.0 to CS3 -- I like using what I am used to! To be honest I think 6.0 was better... it ran so much smoother than CS3 which has more tools but behaves like a buggy lumbering pile of poo. They do that and then they want me to pay for another upgrade? No thank you.

So right now my file editing has slowed down. I am having to use Picasa to manage my files - which honestly is much better than Bridge, but the big thing is that I cannot directly open the file into CS3 from Picasa. So I have to write the file number and the folder number down on a piece of paper, at out of Picasa then go to Photoshop and search for the file to open it. Really a PIA!

]]> *Zedul Looking for an expert fantasy mapper http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/27548451/ http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/27548451/ Fri, 02 Oct 2009 21:54:15 PDT
I write fantasy fiction on the side and I have some old maps that I drew in the 80's that I'd like to have drawn up by someone with some real artistic talent in that area.

I wonder what something like that costs?

]]> *Zedul Little Deviant Elves http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/27277960/ http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/27277960/ Fri, 18 Sep 2009 10:10:42 PDT

]]> *Zedul New Season of Dollhouse http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/27207119/ http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/27207119/ Mon, 14 Sep 2009 10:56:05 PDT
It's kind of a cross between Dark City, Blade Runner, and Matrix - with quite a bit of the cast of Firefly, Angel, and Battlestar Galactica.

It's the last show on TV that I watch besides Chuck.

]]> *Zedul Why you shouldn't offer me critiques http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/27141205/ http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/27141205/ Thu, 10 Sep 2009 20:55:08 PDT
You either like what I do or you don't... I don't post my stuff here to get better. I post my stuff here for a few people to enjoy for free and to maybe get a lil business now and then.

Furthermore... going to college to become a great nude photographer is kinda like going to college to become a great rock guitar player. What you know means nothing compared to what you feel and what you dream.

]]> *Zedul Proof http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/27045922/ http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/27045922/ Sun, 06 Sep 2009 00:46:50 PDT
Exhibit A:

ÂI think people are born bisexual and the make subconscious choices based on the pressures of society. I have no question in my mind about being bisexual. But IÂm also a hypocrite: I would never date a girl who is bisexual, because that means they also sleep with men, and men are so dirty that IÂd never sleep with a girl who had slept with a man.Â Â Megan Fox, Esquire June 2009

Ok trying to make sense of that is almost impossible.

How can you can be bi-sexual and yet so disgusted by men that if you found out the girl you were with had been with a man you wouldn't touch her!!! Wouldn't that make you a lesbian rather than a bi-sexual?

]]> *Zedul Knocked Down http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/26326071/ http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/26326071/ Sat, 01 Aug 2009 20:43:07 PDT
The past few months my illness has been very active, in part due to the added stress from my insurance company - don't even get me going there.

My shoots have virtually ground to a halt and even the amount of opiates and NSAIDS I am ingesting every day aren't keeping me going like they used to. My last two shoots took so much out of me that I literally was unable to move for days afterwords.

I am trying to psyche myself into continuing with the photography until my body completely gives out but right now it's a test of will. Sorry I haven't posted much lately. I am just trying to get it together and get back in the fight.

]]> *Zedul 110 Degrees http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/26183570/ http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/26183570/ Sun, 26 Jul 2009 04:24:47 PDT

]]> *Zedul Screw Warcraft http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/25982862/ http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/25982862/ Thu, 16 Jul 2009 10:38:55 PDT
Game is old and ugly and full of really annoying spam.

I am playing LOTRO - it's peaceful and oh so beautiful. And my warden is super fun!

]]> *Zedul I miss the 70's http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/25793983/ http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/25793983/ Tue, 07 Jul 2009 10:56:00 PDT
Going fishing with dad at 4am - nobody else on the water or in site - watching the sun come up over Mt. Baker and catching half a dozen 25+ lb salmon to take home and bbq up or give to the nice old lady across the street.

Being able to play in the woods - the real woods, uninterrupted old growth forest that went on for at least twenty miles.

Going to any movie at the time with your favorite actress and knowing you were gonna see her naked... because back in the day our versions Angelina Jolie and Megan Fox, et. weren't prudes.

Yea... I miss the 70's.

Oh did I mention that I could go see Zepplin, Journey, Aerosmith, or Pink Floyd play LIVE for six bucks?

]]> *Zedul Getting Old http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/25555066/ http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/25555066/ Thu, 25 Jun 2009 22:51:28 PDT
It's a strange feeling, as well as being a little sad.

]]> *Zedul Opinions http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/25252324/ http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/25252324/ Thu, 11 Jun 2009 10:49:31 PDT
It's something that is of great concern to me - there's nothing worse than a bunch of idiots who think they know everything running amok. Sooner or later the machine is going to careen into a wall and we are all going to get smashed!

]]> *Zedul A shout out to great doctors. http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/25043701/ http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/25043701/ Sun, 31 May 2009 02:27:25 PDT
My doctor upped my opiate dosage to "Dr. House" type levels. I asked him: "Will I become addicted?" He just looks at me and says "At this point you just gotta do what you gotta do..."

That's the one thing going for me right now, I have two doctors that really rock - one is an Princeton Grad - a real straight shooter hard nose guy who has always been on top of things with me. He's taken my phone calls at midnight, kept me out of the ER a few times, once by showing up at his clinic at 6am so he could treat me there and save me a day of misery in a line at the hospital. He also found the right meds to save my eyes so I could keep doing this photography stuff.

The other Doc is this tiny little red headed lady who takes care of all the internal crap that goes on with my disease, heart, lungs, kidney's et. She saved my life once and managed to get me into the ICU at the hospital without having to go through the normal ambulance ride / ER process. She is very kind to me... always spends a little extra time with me and is always passing me free meds to keep me from going completely broke. (My medical bills run around $20k per year)

There is quite a bit of misery I have to go through and most of the time I hear about how terrible doctors are, how uncaring, et. I count myself fortunate that I have the doctors that I do - good doctors can make a bad situation bearable.

I tell you - if I was born again into this world as a healthy person I would be a doctor. Is there a better thing to do with your life?

]]> *Zedul Best line in history... http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/24473563/ http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/24473563/ Tue, 28 Apr 2009 00:58:29 PDT
Chuck was awesome tonight.

If this show is canceled by NBC I think I will turn off even my limited basic Cable.

]]> *Zedul New Metric Album! http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/24005286/ http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/24005286/ Wed, 01 Apr 2009 13:09:45 PDT

That alone would make me happy.

But what puts me on cloud 9 is that it totally rocks, it's their best album ever!!!

For those unfamiliar with Metric or Emily Haines the closest thing I could really compare them to is New Order/Joy Division - cept better

and in the end no one really compares to Metric! They are kinda like a chocolate malt on a warm summer day... it's comfort music, makes me happy.

That's all aside from the fact that I could just watch Emily dance around in her mini-dresses and be perfectly content as well.

Anyway, it's officially an all thumbs up album and it will be on heavy rotation for quite awhile.

Here is their website: [link]

]]> *Zedul One Show http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/23905878/ http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/23905878/ Thu, 26 Mar 2009 18:35:38 PDT
My choice?

Chuck!!!

A: It's funny and cool at the same time.

B: It has Yvonne Strahovski who is (no offense to any model I ever have, or will work with) the single most beautiful woman I think I have ever seen! OMG what do they put in the water down in Australia?

]]> *Zedul Back into the Fray http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/23017493/ http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/23017493/ Thu, 05 Feb 2009 09:38:41 PST
Have a new young muse, she's adorable and learning fast! I've done recent shoots with some of my favorite models - and hopefully some more new faces will come along in the new year.

]]> *Zedul Top 18 Selling Artists in Music History http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/22195377/ http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/22195377/ Thu, 25 Dec 2008 16:50:31 PST
The Beatles
Led Zeppelin
Elvis Presley
Eagles
Pink Floyd
Billy Joel
Elton John
Barbra Streisand
The Rolling Stones
AC/DC
Bruce Springsteen
Kenny Rogers
Journey
Aerosmith
Michael Jackson
Simon & Garfunkel
Van Halen
Fleetwood Mac

]]> *Zedul Moving through the Holidays http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/21762744/ http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/21762744/ Mon, 01 Dec 2008 08:52:38 PST

Probably the most hideous trend I have seen in photography since the days where diffused glow was everywhere you looked.

These things come and go so I am just enjoying the slow time and working on ideas.

]]> *Zedul Strange Thanksgiving http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/21681596/ http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/21681596/ Wed, 26 Nov 2008 13:26:39 PST
My father died this past week... so it's going to be sort of an odd thanksgiving for me.

We all have to face losing parents at one point in our lives... but I guess you are never quite ready for it.

I suppose I am lucky to even have a father, and one that was always there for me - that's not usually the case in this society as of late. He was a good dad and a good friend as well. I am going to really miss him, especially the weekly talks.

RIP Dad

Gilbert R. Bowlin
1941-2008

]]> *Zedul Devious Journal Entry http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/21189450/ http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/21189450/ Mon, 27 Oct 2008 16:01:36 PDT
]]> *Zedul My DA Interview http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/20507224/ http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/20507224/ Mon, 15 Sep 2008 14:40:27 PDT [link]

I was kinda nervous about this, not really my normal cup of tea - but if it helps other artists it's all good.

]]> *Zedul Lots of work, lack of workers! http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/20414588/ http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/20414588/ Tue, 09 Sep 2008 21:07:41 PDT
8 Shoots in 7 days, including a few magazine ads, and a 300 mile road trip to NM again.

This fall I am embarking on a series of commercial shoots, and since two more of my regular muses have retired or moved away I now have to go out looking for that type of girl. You wouldn't believe just how hard it is to find an asian muse out in the desert! Or for that matter an alt model in Tucson that I could actually work with and and that my clients would like enough to pay for publication. A few days ago one of my commercial clients shelled out over a hundred bucks an hour to a model who gave me barely 50% effort. Ugh!

I am reminded why I prefer just to shoot for the art of it. As a former production engineer and manufacturing manager - I just will never get used to models telling me "Modeling is hard, it's so much work." Please.

Likewise you won't ever hear me say "Photography is hard, it's so much work."

Because that would be me blowing enough smoke to alarm Al Gore!

]]> *Zedul Summer Stall http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/19833104/ http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/19833104/ Thu, 07 Aug 2008 18:42:39 PDT
It's a cycle I can't seem to break, oh well, at least there is a symmetry to it.

On a good note, Vanessa is back! Yea! Shoots upcoming.

]]> *Zedul My favorite band in Tucson... http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/19358729/ http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/19358729/ Sat, 12 Jul 2008 17:16:37 PDT
I am getting really psyched about the Journey concert on the 19th... it will be my first rock concert in nearly 10 years.

I am having teenage flashbacks... a brand new album of new music that has charted in Billboard's top 5 CD's, sold out concerts.

The only thing that let's me know it's the modern age is that the new lead singer is from the Phillipines! Somehow they found an Asian Steve Perry clone - I think they should do an "anime" video just for the fun of it all.

They kicked off in Denver, sounds like a good time: [link]

]]> *Zedul Pain, Suffering, Indecision.... http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/19264433/ http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/19264433/ Mon, 07 Jul 2008 22:53:45 PDT
Today was the day I had to make the decision. Do I max my credit card and go for the Nikon D300 and the 18-200mm sub-par VR lense for $2300?

Or do I grab the 40d for $1,000... keep shooting with my excellent L series lense and my very nifty 50mm F2.0 Macro, 85mm F 1.4, + 200-400mm big zoom.

Not to mention the very nice flash I have for the Canon which would cost me an additional $400 to replace.

I stared at my computer shopping cart with both cameras in it, made dozens of phone calls, read everything on the net about the two cameras.... for no less than 8 hours.

Ultimately... having to pay $2300 for a great camera with a substandard lense and having to live without a flash for the next several months did not measure up to having to pay $1000 for a decent camera with several outstanding lenses and a nice flash in place.

It was close though, so very close as I am quite irritated at the moment. That durable weatherproof beefy d300 with a shutter life of 120k clicks really tempted me but by the time a year or so passed I would still have to upgrade AND have to buy all the lenses and flash, et. After pricing the Nikon glass and flash I realized I would not only pay 1300 extra now, but I would have to make a $5,000 swing over the next year - minus whatever I could get for my old glass and flash.

I am betting that $6,300 would easily get me into a new 1D Mark IV (not yet announced) next year...

With that thought I deleted the d300 from my cart and hit "order" on the 40D. It will be here Wed.

]]> *Zedul Well... after all. http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/19147762/ http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/19147762/ Tue, 01 Jul 2008 13:34:36 PDT
I guess my early exit from Canon was premature.

Canon has asked me to send both cameras and wants to look them over - even though the warranty was up they are going to fix them anyway. yea me!

]]> *Zedul Goodbye Canon... http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/19082995/ http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/19082995/ Fri, 27 Jun 2008 20:48:47 PDT
After 20 years of being a faithful Canon customer, from the film camera days up through the this current digital age I am done.

On Thursday my EOS 30D died exactly 1 year and 2 months after I bought it, it lasted about the same amount of time that my 20D did, and the 10D before that. It kind of sucks to have to keep replacing camera's every single year because they are so poorly made. My plan was to make a camera last two years or 3 years so I could climb up to a really nice camera.

Now I have to replace again, and I am so hopping mad that I think it is time for a change.

What sucks is that I have ooodles of Canon Glass, including a killer L series lense... and I hate to downgrade from an L Series to a to the Nikon 18-200 VR lense but right now that Nikon D300 is looking very sexy too me. Coupled with the fact that I know it probably won't bust in exactly 13 months... well, it may be time to switch sides.

]]> *Zedul Summer is here! http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/18601795/ http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/18601795/ Sat, 31 May 2008 23:10:27 PDT
Very nice.

Had a great shoot.

]]> *Zedul Global Warming Strikes Tucson!!! http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/18500257/ http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/18500257/ Sun, 25 May 2008 19:24:40 PDT
]]> *Zedul A favorite lyric http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/18280963/ http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/18280963/ Sun, 11 May 2008 21:04:38 PDT Down the foggy ruins of time, far past the frozen leaves,
The haunted, frightened trees, out to the windy beach,
Far from the twisted reach of crazy sorrow.
Yes, to dance beneath the diamond sky with one hand waving free,
Silhouetted by the sea, circled by the circus sands,
With all memory and fate driven deep beneath the waves,
Let me forget about today until tomorrow.

..... Bob Dylan

]]> *Zedul Busy Busy and a new BSG season! http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/17741769/ http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/17741769/ Tue, 08 Apr 2008 02:35:31 PDT
BTW, BSG opened up it's final season with a bang! God I love that show... it's so very very dark and mystical and I just dig that kind of stuff.

It will never win an Emmy because the stuffy suits don't have enough imagination to think outside the "mobster-cop-lawyer-family-filthyrichpeople" drama box but it surely has been one of the best shows in the history of TV... every week it's like going to the movie theater on broadcast TV, how often do you get that?

]]> *Zedul Complimentary Etiquette http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/16115546/ http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/16115546/ Wed, 26 Dec 2007 20:53:06 PST

Be respectful, be mature.

If you use rough and low words like tits, ass et. your comment will be hidden.

If you do it enough times that I become annoyed I will block you from viewing and posting on my port.

]]> *Zedul Beauty vs. Gratification http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/13784607/ http://Zedul.deviantart.com/journal/13784607/ Wed, 18 Jul 2007 16:52:42 PDT
When I get comments like "dude, I so wanked off to that" it just pisses me off. It does not make me feel good about my art, or what I do... it demeans me, it demeans my models, and it makes me think you are a friggin idiot.

I purposely starve as an artist by choosing not to get paid for adult websites because I don't want people "wanking to my work". I want people to dream about my work, I want people to think... "I would die to have that woman in my life". I want people to feel deep desire, not surface gratification... otherwise, this is not art, this is pornography.

While I concede that some art may be "deemed pornographic" because it accomplishes both at the same time, my overall goal is to leave you with an image you believe is beautiful. My goal is to get into your head and your dreams, my goal is not to gratify you for thirty seconds and then have you forget about my picture.

I want people to remember, and to be haunted in some way. That is my goal.

]]> *Zedul