deviantART: by:ZomaS-M

deviantART: by:ZomaS-M http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:ZomaS-M&section=today deviantART RSS for by:ZomaS-M en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Mon, 28 Dec 2009 23:15:37 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png Devious Journal Entry http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/29054434/ http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/29054434/ Sun, 20 Dec 2009 05:54:04 PST
I welcome you to the first week of my vacation!

School did not go well. At all. And if I don't do well next semester I'll be getting the boot out of my parents' house. So given how busy I'll be in about a month or so, I'm planning on really enjoying this vacation with my loved ones (everyone from close friends to my boyfriend, who is really saving me from my home life lately). But this means I'll be writing too! I love writing, am finding that new small ideas are popping up everywhere. And to teach myself a little discipline I'm going to try to write something every week. We'll see how that goes, yeah?

So... How are you?

oma

S-M

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]]> *ZomaS-M Hello Everyone! + MOAR FANART http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/28180917/ http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/28180917/ Fri, 06 Nov 2009 14:56:16 PST
Things have been insanely hectic. School has kept me on my toes this semester (particularly my World Literature class, which I adore to no end but has me reading tons of the textbook every day), so virtually no time to get anything done. And that means writing, reading, or commenting. Many things I wanted to do went on hold.

As always I appreciate all the kind comments and visits from new friends. I promise, once this semester is over I'll be taking a much more active role in my dA life again!

But this is not to say my regular life has not been amazing. I am doing well in school, taking in student loans. I met a wonderful delight of a man. I turned twenty yesterday and have been able to spend time with (most) of my awesome friends and family. Things are swell!

The semester ends in mid-December, and you won't be seeing much of me until then. But I have something amazing to show you, so that I may leave on a happy note!

Thank you *darmoon87 for the wonderful fanarts of dear Mr. Jonathan Sicari (and that cute little Bade)!!! He's in there; can you spot him???

AND SHE MADE A NEW ONE THAT I LOVE AROLJHGDLJHVD!!!

And I'm sorry you're only just now getting that much-deserved shout-out!

Forgive me?

TAKE CARE EVERYBODY!
Much love
~ ZS-M

oma

S-M

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]]> *ZomaS-M Rough start http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/27037813/ http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/27037813/ Sat, 05 Sep 2009 15:18:59 PDT
But you guys were waiting anyway, so this is just one more excuse.

I haven't forogtten about my many side projects.

Wish me luck handling life without sight for the next seven to ten business days!

oma

S-M

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]]> *ZomaS-M Some basic astrology info... http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/26887690/ http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/26887690/ Sat, 29 Aug 2009 01:57:56 PDT
Most of the research has been done with the many resources offered by astrologer Linda Goodman, a credible source that has never let me down! However a few one-liners have been taken from Wikipedia (usually not a credible source, but their astrology page happens to be quite good ).

Elements

Fire: represents one's desires and creative energies.

Water: represents imagination, human feelings, and one's ability to love and sustain.

Air: represents the intellect and one's ability to reason and communicate.

Earth: represents one's material resources, environment and possessions.

Qualities

Cardinal: associated with initiation and creativity.

Fixed: associated with stability and determination.

Mutable: associated with resourcefulness, holism and adaptability.

Additional Traits

Personal: principally aware of and concerned with individual concerns.

Interpersonal: principally aware of and concerned with social and societal concerns.

Transpersonal: principally aware of and concerned with humanitarian and existential concerns.

Planets
(Pluto, my own ruler, is a planet, or at least an influence. Argue and taste my Scorpio wrath!)

Sun: usually thought to represent the conscious ego, the self and its expression, personal power, pride and authority; leadership qualities; and the principles of creativity, spontaneity, health and vitality; the life forceÂalso involves creative enterprises that are a projection of the person, from art and business to having children..

Moon: associated with a person's emotional make-up, unconscious habits, rhythms, memories and moods, and their ability to react and adapt to those around them. It is also associated with the mother, maternal instincts or the urge to nurture, the home, the need for security, and the past, especially early experiences and childhood.

Mercury: represents the principles of communication, mentality, thinking patterns, rationality and reasoning, and adaptability and variability.

Venus: associated with the principles of harmony, beauty, balance, the feelings and affections, and the urge to sympathize and unite with others. It is involved with the desire for pleasure, sensuality, personal possessions, comfort and ease. It governs romantic relations, marriage and business partnerships, sex (the origin of the words 'venery' and 'venereal'

, the arts, fashion and social life.

Mars: associated with confidence and self assertion, aggression, sexuality,... ]]> *ZomaS-M Two years http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/26721812/ http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/26721812/ Thu, 20 Aug 2009 20:10:02 PDT
And what a journey it's been!

I took the opportunity to look at my stats, and it's a trip to say the least.
I have all of my faithful friends and watchers to thank for making it a super kickass two years!
I love you all!

ZS-M

oma

S-M

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]]> *ZomaS-M Cathartic http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/26362907/ http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/26362907/ Mon, 03 Aug 2009 15:58:56 PDT

There have been a few updates. I went through some of Gargoyle and graced Wendell with an update. I've outlined and sketched out the next few pages of a few projects, but nothing else has really taken form.

I must confess - summer school drained me. I worked so much that I plan on enjoying this small vacation while I have it (classes begin on August 31). But writing and reading are my hobbies, not work, so I've fit in a few things.

I also want to thank everybody who's gone over to *Aurelian-Shade's page and said hello. It really means a lot to me, and to her, and it's good to know I've got some amazing friends!

oma

S-M

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]]> *ZomaS-M Small Update, and Happy 4th http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/25721304/ http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/25721304/ Fri, 03 Jul 2009 18:14:46 PDT I wish you all a Happy Fourth! Celebrate safely!

I finally managed to talk my mom into getting a page here on dA (like I said I would when I uploaded her poem "Lament to Loki" [link]). She's a total technophobe and is having trouble adjusting to the internet. But she's excited to be sharing her work, and she's having fun going through her piles upon piles of poetry. Personally I like watching her be happy; it's a nice change, and hopefully it'll stick.

She is, however, nervous about how people will respond to her work. So please please please stop by her shiny new page and make her feel welcome!

~Aurelian-Shade

In other news...

Only two more weeks of summer classes, and let me tell you I'm looking forward to getting my vacation back. I've never worked this hard for school. Ever. But I'm doing well so far. I'm just counting down the days until I get my vacation back... and then maybe a month before the fall semester starts.

But like I said it would, school has eaten my free time. I've got absolutely no updates to show for the last month. I was expecting to have at least a little free time on the weekends or between classes to maybe scribble a few lines of something, but no such luck.

This week I also caught a super bad cold.

Needless to say, I haven't exactly been enjoying myself.

But it won't last, thank goodness.

Be well, everybody!

oma

S-M

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]]> *ZomaS-M Time to get to work http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/25121883/ http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/25121883/ Thu, 04 Jun 2009 09:14:35 PDT [link]). What a rush! And still what an honor to have been nominated! Congratulations to =SocraticSynapses for the victory!

Another special thanks to

for her kind feature! Be sure to check out her amazing gallery! SheÂs truly one of my favorite authors and one of the nicest people around (her novel jon.com has earned a spot in my stamp space). And go see her latest journal to take a look at the other wonderful writers she featured!

Like the new layout?

You know how when youÂre depressed you have to force yourself to work, but your heart isnÂt in it and everything you produce just sucks? I think I finally beat it. IÂve been writing whatever I could, just to keep busy. Needless to say, updates on my novels have been like a worm-crawl, and when I got sick of trying to force out a good chapter I started something new. So now I have a few one-shots and a short-story that I want to finish, and I expect this month to be the perfect time for me to do so. These small projects are things I can work on idly, whereas Wendell and Gargoyle must be taken seriously. And I wonÂt be able to seriously focus on anything other than school, which starts this Monday.

IÂll want to work on something for fun, but school has to be the only thing that really matters, and I wonÂt be able to work on my novels effectively as long as that is my mindset. So thanks for your everlasting patience, guys.

oma

S-M

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]]> *ZomaS-M Vote at TheDeviantAwards! http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/24944124/ http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/24944124/ Mon, 25 May 2009 14:03:04 PDT

for the TheDeviantAwards nomination for Best Fiction Writer! ItÂs such an honor to be up there next to such talent!

Voting for TheDeviantAwards has begun!

: [link]

Instructions for how to vote are located in their latest journal (the link to which is located above). So go visit their page, send them a note, and cast your vote!

Remember to vote fairly, for those of you who are familiar with more than one nominee. Good luck to all of them!

oma

S-M

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]]> *ZomaS-M Heroics vs Good Deeds + Disappearing http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/24471216/ http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/24471216/ Tue, 28 Apr 2009 09:21:55 PDT
*~*~*~*~*~*

Discuss defining heroes/heroic deeds and villains/evil deeds.
Do you think heroic or villainous deeds can only be judged on a personal scale?

Is evil only evil when it is deliberate? Or can great evils be done without actual intention? But then the question becomes how you define "an evil deed." When does something bad cross the line and become something evil?

Does being a hero mean you have genuine willingness to do a great thing, or do you have to earn the hero title? And again, how would you define a heroic act versus a good act? For example, if saving a burning animal shelter is heroic, can you consider adopting a cat and changing it's life a heroic act too? Or does being a hero involve some sacrifice or some level of putting yourself in danger?

Is the difference between a good deed and a heroic act lie with how many other lives you influence?

Let me hear your thoughts. I'm interested.

]]> *ZomaS-M Subscriptions and Shout-outs http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/24398388/ http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/24398388/ Thu, 23 Apr 2009 17:22:19 PDT I have no idea when it happened or who did it, but what a wonderful gesture! I'm so grateful!

THANK YOU!!!

Now to figure out who dunnit so that I may express my appreciation!

And as you can see, I've had absolutely no trouble with getting arounf the subscriber perks. *Eyes the block of stamps* >.>

SO! Because you guys are all super cool and supportive and overall nice people, I figure you won't mind welcoming an old friend of mine to devintArt.

[link]

I've told you time and time again that as far as poetry goes, I have very little going for me. But I absolutely adore this guy's work and I think you will too. Even if I can't quite identify it, something about his poems are truly beautiful. And like I said, he's an old friend, so be polite (he's shy)!

]]> *ZomaS-M Checking Things Out + Holy hell, am I Subscribed? http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/24353598/ http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/24353598/ Thu, 23 Apr 2009 11:21:29 PDT What a wonderful gesture! I'm so grateful!

THANK YOU!!!

Now to figure out who dunnit so that I may express my appreciation!

*~*~*~*~*~*

Critique Week
Have you heard about it? If not, definitely check it out! I went ahead and submitted Wendell: Prologue and the first four chapters of Gargoyle. My concern with the new prologue for Gargoyle is that those two little chapters donÂt blend well with later chapters, and IÂve had reservations with them because of how much they actually reveal. ItÂs important stuff to know, but IÂve been wondering if I want readers to know this stuff so early in the story. These people behind Critique Week certainly wonÂt get the final say, but I do wonder what their thoughts will beÂ

SO! If youÂre interested and willing to get some serious critique on your work, check out Critique Week: [link]

Writing Excuses

linked me to this (just like she linked me to Critique Week, actually) talk show/podcast arranged by these three writers. They discuss almost everything any writer, experienced or aspiring, might want to know. Very informative and very funny. IÂm officially addicted. So IÂm linking you to it, if youÂre interested: [link]

On a completely different note, I'm ecstatic because I earned my first A on an essay in my Comp 102 class this semester. I'd only been earning B's til now. My teacher is a very hard man to please, and he's also very hard to learn from. But I must have done something right this time! And I worked so hard on it and dedicated so much time to it!

]]> *ZomaS-M OC MEME http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/24353573/ http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/24353573/ Tue, 21 Apr 2009 00:43:56 PDT OC Meme
Just fun stuff. Feel free to steal (I stole in from

)

, I know I still have to do your 8 Facts thing you tagged me with. I'll get to it this week. Pinkie promise!

Anyway weÂll be sticking to characters from Gargoyle.

My Main Characters
From Gargoyle

Hannah Wallstone

Jonathan Sicari

Alexander Williams

Bade

Sara Williams

Donovan Torres

1. Who are your main character(s)?:
Gargoyle has about six main characters, but weÂll narrow it down to Jonathan Sicari and Alexander Williams. And I have a lot to say about why itÂs narrowed down to those two and not, say, Hannah. For one thing Hannah is not really relatable (one of my fears is that the new prologue makes her relatable in ways IÂve never wanted). But they are the stem of the conflict: Alex tries to do the greatest good he can by helping others with what little power he has while Jonathan does what, in my mind, is a great evil by using power for selfish reasons. And they are opposites, and they do attract. That attraction alongside other good and bad qualities makes them interesting (I hope).

2. Who are your oldest character(s)?:
Oldest as in who was created first? Jonathan Sicari came first, back in... Gosh, must have been seventh grade, so about six years ago.

3. Who are your newest character(s):
I think Donovan is the newest. I had very specific reasons for creating him, and he fits through the cracks of the story. But make so mistake, the cracks came first.

4. Who is your strongest character(s)?:
I think all my characters are really strong in different ways. ItÂs hard to single one out. But if I really had to, IÂd say Jonathan. HeÂs just so childish, and children scream the loudest when theyÂre unhappy. He also has the strongest potential in his story to do either good or bad.

5. Who is your smartest character(s)?:
Bade is my wiseman, without a doubt. HeÂs been through a lot and has really learned from all of his experiences.

6. Who is your dumbest character(s)?:
Ooh, hard to say, because everybody seems so smart in their own way. But IÂd say itÂs a close tie between Sara and Donny. SaraÂs selfishness can be considered stupid, and it happens to be her biggest flaw. In later chapters of Gargoyle youÂll see that Donny becomes very bitter and rebellious, so is almost always in trouble. And you know, even Alex has a tendency to be really naÃ¯ve. But none of them are particularly dumbÂ I bet itÂd be fun to work with a genuine simpleton.

7. Who is your quietest character(s)?:
Definitely Hannah. Who can blame her, really? The wonderful thing I find about Hannah though is that she still has... ]]> *ZomaS-M Updates: On Networking http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/24271651/ http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/24271651/ Thu, 16 Apr 2009 10:21:33 PDT
First off, to all my readers, IÂm so sorry for the delays. IÂm expecting plenty of new updates and edits very soon, now that I donÂt have to worry about homework this weekend. I hope that when I actually do upload something, it wonÂt disappoint!

IÂm beginning to fall into the world of interweb networking for promotional reasons (thatÂs right, shameless self-promotion). So any friends, family, or fans who are interested can now add me on:

deviantart.com: [link]
myspace.com: [link]
livejournal.com: [link]

Other public pages are still being worked on, but when they become available IÂll let you know!

In lighter newsÂ

Wendell: Wendell Carmen/Felix Haydn, is a difficult guy to keep in contact with. He sulks, you see. But as I was working the next chapters in my head, he leaned over my shoulder and mused, "I'm not liking the title." HeÂs a writer too, I figured his thoughts should be respectedÂ That and I didnÂt want him mad at me. IÂm giving it some more thought, but I thought IÂd ask anywayÂ

How does Wendell: The Woes of Felix Haydn grab you as a new working title?

I know that it seems like Wendell only just started, but it was never planned to be particularly long. As it stands, IÂm almost half done! And the real party has barely started! Right now Wendell stands at about 61 pages with 15,426 words!

Gargoyle: In light of my blatant hatred for the way Stephanie Meyer has annihilated vampires for me lately (and it seems sheÂs out to destroy mermaids and sirens now too), IÂm more determined than ever to make Gargoyle great. But the much-needed edits are slow. And letÂs face it, the original draft was weak. IÂm also worried that it may be pulling itself too long. DonÂt get me wrong; every scene I wrote, I wrote because it needed to be there to move the plot or develop a character or other important stuff. There isnÂt a single chapter written so far that I would consider filler or unimportant fluff. IÂm hesitant to change the story, but I think some scenes may need to be cut for the next few drafts. I have no idea which yet.

Counting only the edits (which means up to Chapter 4 of Part 2, so forget about the other twenty-five or so chapters for a second), Gargoyle stands at about 50 pages with 14,295 words.

Thank you for being patient with me!
~ ZS-M

]]> *ZomaS-M I AM A WRITER + Happy B-day Mr. Sicari! http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/23876457/ http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/23876457/ Thu, 02 Apr 2009 01:18:24 PDT April 1st of this year was Jonathan Sicari's 69th birthday!

I'm thinking of creating some kind of OC or Original Story Meme in celebration, but I may not have time. If I did create a meme, would you fill it out?

And Jonathan likes tiramisu more than cake. Or dulce de leche crepes! And he'll take any red wine you have to offer.

Because yes, he does expect each and every one of you to drink to his special day.

I borrowed this evaluation from

A few things to consider when writing:

What reason(s) do you write for?
I donÂt know why I started writing, but I know why IÂve kept it up. It makes me happy. It lets me vent, lets me think, lets me really use my mindÂ I write for myself, and happened to start out with something other people enjoyed and that was very encouraging. I do one day want to get my work published, because sharing my work alongside other talented writers means a lot to me (what I do really is a passion, which is why I like this community). But if I never get to the real professional level, I think IÂll still be happy knowing IÂm doing what I love most.

Do you take your writing seriously?
Of course I do. Not only do I love the writing process more than anything else, but I think I have real potential to succeed with it.

If so, when did you start taking writing seriously?
It must have been at the start of high school. IÂd written for fun before. My very very first novel, to this day unfinished, was an epic fantasy I started in middle school (IÂve been editing and rewriting what I currently have in secret). I loved it, but for some reason it didnÂt satisfy my inner writer. But that changed in high school when I began having real English/writing classes with wonderful teachers who showed me what writing really involved. Characterization, style, technique, voice, symbolismÂ So many aspects that I had never grasped before. And I loved discovering them. I came up with the idea of Gargoyle then as a new beginning. And, well, here I am.

Where do you feel you stand as a writer?
ThatÂs difficult to say because I have so little to go on. I have no official experience, since IÂve never submitted my work for publishing or anything. And IÂve never actually finished a novel. I wouldnÂt call that inexperience, but there are plenty of things I havenÂt done, and thereÂs always more to learn. So I would say IÂm somewhere around Âdreamer with potential.Â

http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/23870362/ Tue, 24 Mar 2009 16:57:20 PDT
So weÂll start with life. ItÂs hectic as hell, and an unreasonable depression has made it hard to get motivated to do anything (except write, though I can't write anything for school, even my English class). I never want to get out of bed or leave the dark comfort of my room, IÂm eating less and less but am somehow gaining weight, and I want nothing else than to drop out of school and begin working fulltime so that I can move out of my parents house and avoid the fighting and the suffocating dreariness. EverybodyÂs got their own problems, but I canÂt seem to care about anything exceptÂ well, not caring. And writing. But as much as I want to get out of here, I fight with myself on a daily basis to get out of bed, study for my driverÂs permit, get homework done, look for a job, and just do something with myself. But IÂm also deathly afraid of that stuff, and of growing up in general. ItÂs a real drag. I just got into therapy for the second time in my. Professional help for teenage problems is one thing. Professional help for adult problems is another entirely. And coping has been extremely hard, but thatÂs all IÂm doing. Coping. For whatever reason, I canÂt get myself to actually try to solve these stupid problems.

My mental health isnÂt too strong right now, but my physical health is even lower on the tragedy chart. Last Monday I had a standard checkup with my doctor and was caught off guard when she told me that I had chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD), which is the first stage of emphysema. ItÂs very minor at the moment, surprising since IÂm supposed to be at only sixty percent lung capacity, but hereÂs the catch: itÂs progressive, incurable, and potentially fatal. It never goes away, but gets worse with asthma (which has been a serious handicap of mine since infancy) and smoking. Yes, I sparingly smoked Djarum Blacks for a while, and every Thursday I went to my hookah lounge. The only thing that slows this lung scarring thing down is exercise and the cessation of smoking. Problem is, asthma keeps me from exercising too much. And though I was never really addicted to the smoking I wonÂt deny that it took the edge off, and I miss it already.

IÂll be getting a second opinion, but itÂs adding to the stress. And I was pretty scared before the apathy from my clinical depression kicked in again.

A little while ago

said that if it werenÂt for writing sheÂd have gone insane by now. I jokingly agreed. But it really is true.

Hanging in there
~ZS-M

]]> *ZomaS-M Second Interview + Second March Birthday http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/23753105/ http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/23753105/ Sun, 22 Mar 2009 02:36:59 PDT Am I a terrible creator/mother or what? It's been a crazy week, and I'll discuss why a little later (I've got some bad news...). But if any character were to forgive me for this, it would be Alex, the sweetheart. And he'll definitely have to save my ass if I forget Jonathan's birthday next week!

Happy birthday, Alexander Williams!
How shall we celebrate?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Another interview with

. If you enjoyed the first one, feel free to take a look.

Do you believe, as does Wendell, that thereÂs no such thing as perfection?
We can get close to perfection, but too many differing opinions can lead to conflict, which makes for what I believe to be the exact opposite of perfectionÂ ThatÂs the blunt version of a very philosophical question, I know.

What makes Wendell want to protect his work from himself?
I chalk it up to not wanting any outside influences on his art. I think he wants his art to stand by itself as much as possible. And also, from the very beginning, I think Wendell has had trouble accepting himself for reasons he never understood. He doesnÂt hate himself, but he doesnÂt like himself either. He does like his work, though, even if he canÂt see why others do.

Playing off the parallels I see between you and Wendell, do you also think people give you too much credit for your work?
I adore my fans. TheyÂve always been so encouraging and so kind and just genuinely awesome. Selfishly, I want to say IÂd like more attention (donÂt all writers?), especially since I want to one day have my work published. But I honestly couldnÂt ask for better fans than the ones I have now. I love you guys!

Do you think one person can bring out the best in someone?
Well sure. There are a lot of elements that go into relationships of any kind, and people always come out of them different from how they went in. For better or for worse.

Why such a profound statement as, ÂI killed Jezebel GibsonÂ? Is this your hook for the story, or just a sort of shock value effect?
Of course anybody paying attention to the technical aspects of writing would recognize that as a hook for its shock-value. But itÂs also important to the characterization. Wendell changes a lot throughout the course of the story (try comparing his character in the latest chapter to the man who walked into Paisley DeckerÂs office in the prologue and tell me what you see). It really was WendellÂs confession, a sort of warning of things to come.

Why did you describe PaisleyÂs appearance in one shot and leave WendellÂs appearance to be explained over many chapters?
Because WendellÂs evolution, as that of our main protagonist, is more important than anyone elseÂs. We get enough of an image from the first time we see him, but heÂs changing, and that change is really what the storyÂs about. IÂve told some people that what I love most about the whole concept is that I get to make them relate to Wendell and really like him in the beginning, but by the end I think theyÂll just hate themselves for ever feeling that way about him.

But itÂs important that all of that comes gradually, over time.

IÂve felt a very strong Fight Club vibe in your writing for the first sections of the story. Did you also feel this and, if so, are you pleased with it?
Not just Fight Club. When I first started writing Wendell I knew I wanted the same kind of voice that Chuck Palahniuk uses in all of his work, but I also wanted the voice to be a healthy blend of my own and, even better, WendellÂs. Hopefully it turned out well.

Has reading any of ChuckÂs PalahniukÂs work influenced your writing? What about other literary figures?
If there was any writer whose influence I thought I could benefit from with a story like this, it was Palahniuk. But again, I wanted my own voice to speak through that influence. I havenÂt read too many Palahniuk books (Fight Club, Diary, and Survivor), so I donÂt think that style is too strong. I really like how the writing style in Wendell turned out.

What made you pick the Audioslave ringtone for Wendell?
Wendell struck me as an Audioslave fan.

*ZomaS-M Wendell: An Interview with slightly-mental http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/23663646/ http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/23663646/ Thu, 12 Mar 2009 16:57:42 PDT
So IÂm late with yet another birthday. Wendell CarmenÂs big day on March 6th was overshadowed by my own trip to Disneyland. I love that place. Wendell hates it. So I left him alone.

In the meantimeÂ

A near and dear friend of mine, who also just celebrated her birthday (thatÂs what the trip to Disneyland was for

), recently picked up my novel Wendell and has become quite taken with it. SheÂs also quite taken with me and whatever I have to say about my writing process and whatnot. So when she talked about wanting to write a bit of a forward for it, she asked for an interview. And I, completely flattered, agreed.

Go give her tons of love for being an awesome friend.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

WENDELL
Interview with

Where did you get the character names and is there any particular relevance in how and what you named the characters?
Names are always the last thing I think about when creating new characters. And when the time comes to pick a name, I go to babynames.com ([link]) and spend a while browsing around until I find something with a nice ring to it and a meaning that suits that character. For example, the name Wendell is a German name meaning Âwanderer/seeker.Â And Felix means Âhappy/prosperous.Â Think about that, readers!

Why give Wendell a pseudonym?
The pseudonym does a couple things. First it emphasizes WendellÂs desire to separate himself from people and things he hates. HeÂs a pretty self-loathing guy sometimes. The pseudonym also helps readers relate, in a sense that we all wish we could be somebody different sometimes. Wendell's situation just let him take that want to a whole new level, and it turned into a serious conflict for him. ItÂs not unheard of for writers and artists to have a pen name anyway Â at the very least, everybody here on dA has a pen name, yes? So it works. And finallyÂ I mean come on! Felix Haydn is such an awesome name! There a lot of really good reasons that his having a pseudonym works for the plot. But really? Honestly? ÂI only came up with the idea of giving him a pen name when I couldnÂt decide which name I wanted to give him, Wendell Carmen or Felix Haydn. I was completely torn and unwilling to let either name go. So I came up with a way to give him both.

And it actually ended up being the best move I could have possibly made, considering how important WendellÂs identity crisis has become to the story.

Why does Wendell keep his real name even from his editor/agent?
It comes back to that self-loathing trait he has. And though heÂs close to Paisley Decker, he refuses to think of it as anything but a business relationship. And the business in his life, which is rather all-consuming in his success, is run solely by the Felix Haydn half of his character.

There are many parallels between you and the main character. Did you intend for this, or did it just kind of happen without your recognition?
It actually just kind of happened. But as my stress get worse and worse, it became easier for me to understand Wendell. I consider myself to be a very ordinary person, and I also wanted Wendell to come off as ordinary, so it was easy to pick out more personality traits I thought he should have. But the biggest difference between me and Wendell is that he makes himself appear normal on purpose (even if he doesnÂt realize it).

With todayÂs technology propelling the way authors write, do you think itÂs important to Âgo back to basicsÂ and keep a journal?
Maybe IÂm biased because IÂve never kept a diary or anything that personal. I donÂt know how many other writers do, or how much it helps them. It might just be a personal preference. But IÂd recommend it, just because that really nice technology might not always be at hand. For example, IÂve written a lot of stuff for... ]]> *ZomaS-M Better Left Unsaid? http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/23533958/ http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/23533958/ Thu, 05 Mar 2009 00:52:12 PST [link]

I realize that this little one-shot made a lot of people uncomfortable, when they considered the reality of it.

I just wanted to apologize to those of you who felt put on the spot. It was never meant to be a call for attention or sympathy. It was a much-needed expression of an issue that's been bothering me. And I appreciate every comment I got. The ones made in private, the simple emoticons... Hell, I even love that some of you were honest enough to tell me you were scared of reading it. I can understand and respect that level of discomfort - in a strange way it all helps me deal.

I'm sorry. And thank you.

]]> *ZomaS-M Bade's Birthday: A Q&A - 1 Week Left http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/23333589/ http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/23333589/ Thu, 26 Feb 2009 18:32:00 PST
Now IÂve told him that he needs to keep some things secret (you understand how an author has that right, donÂt you?), and he actually seemed pretty relieved.

You can bet he wasnÂt excited to be the first person to have to sit through these birthday interviews, and the last thing he wanted to do for his birthday was answer any invasive questions. But he agreed when I told him everybody would have to answer questions like this. After all, both Wendell and Alexander have birthdays in March!

I'll see you all next time!

*~*~*~*~*

Hello everyone. Some of you know me as Bade, the First Captain of the Ansel Vampires. ItÂs a pleasure to see you all here for my *ahem* birthday Âcelebration.Â *Sigh* IÂm sorry. This really was the last thing I wanted to do for my birthday. I would have been happy with an herbal tea. But IÂm here, and we might as well make the best of itÂ

Some people have already asked a few questions, so weÂll start with those, shall we?

(From jon-com) So, Bade, tell us: how do you keep that sexy youthful appearance? Do you work out? Get facials? Or is it just in your blood -- so to speak?
~ I must be honest: if I take care with my appearance, itÂs because Master Sicari wishes it. He doesnÂt often bring it up, but I try to look professional for him, and for my fellows. The only thing I work on consistently, as an agent, is exercise. And when I do that IÂm thinking of how to stay healthy, not how to look good. And whether or not it is in my bloodÂ I donÂt think anyone can say. This virus affects so many people so differently. Ultimately, I have little to think about aside from my career, which *blush* will never shift into any ÂfilmingÂ businessÂ

(From Tyanite) What is Bade's emotional/past ties to Jonathan Sicari? WhatÂs their relationship?
~ Goodness. ThatÂs one hell of a question. And I have to tread carefullyÂ I was human when I met Master Sicari on the night he was born, and his mother asked me to stay in his life (despite his fatherÂs wishes). I watched and guarded from afar until Master SicariÂs parents had both passed. That was when he was only sixteen, but he had a plan for himself and his family, and I agreed to help him if it meant keeping my promise to his mother. I was Turned, and I have remained loyal, always guarding, ever watchfulÂ Ours is a complicated history, to say the least, but Jonathan has been like my family since I first held him as a baby. And IÂve never wished for anything but his happiness.

(From LunaticStar) What human ages were Bade and Sicari turned? And do they count years in mortal years + etc, or just years as a vamp? 0.0
~

Do you think being a human or vampire makes three hundred and sixty-five days any longer or shorter? A year is a year. Vampires do usually live much longer, if they can manage to take care of themselves well enough. But each case varies. Jonathan was born a vampire, like his brother and sister, but his case is very particular - the virus originated in his family, and he's developed a strong resistence to it's effects. So he's practically healthy, aside from his need for blood and his slowed aging (Jonathan looks very young, but this year he will be turning sixty-nine). Now, I was not born a vampire, but I think I will always be as healthy as Jonathan. The vampire virus in me is almost as strong as the virus that ran in his family, since I was bitten by another Sicari when I was forty-three. That was back in 1956.

(Another one from LunaticStar) What in your life, if anything, has caused you to express love so unconventionally?
~ Expressing love has always been a challenge for me, but I have experienced a few situations where I could not help myself. The instance that comes to mind first is waking from my sleep after being bitten. It took a week for my body to adapt, and when I woke I remember feeling completely different. It was strange, to feel so different and yet exactly the same. But above all I knew that I was a vampire, just like everyone I had ever come to love. Knowing that, finally being welcomed into that... I had trouble keeping my composure then. *ZomaS-M The Art of Writing + Forgotten Birthday http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/23128500/ http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/23128500/ Thu, 12 Feb 2009 16:38:25 PST In all the hullabaloo I completely forgot, but I'll get more into this when I have a better opportunity.

February 2 was Bade's 96th birthday, yo

They grow up so fast! Happy belated!

Psst!

Bade doesn't like cake!

I decided a while ago to do something special on each character's birthday and how silly of me to forget already! I will go more in depth on this, but I'll tell you what the special celebration is so you can prepare for it come my next update.

In honor of Agent Bade's turning 96, I'm accepting questions you might have about this mysterious dude. It should be fun! And who knows, maybe our benevolent vampire will answer your questions himself! :wink:

SO! Happy belated, Bade! And we'll catch you next time!

*~*~*~*~*~*

My first assignment for this semester of English has been a fun and difficult one, and IÂd love to hear your thoughts on its topic.

The task was to Âdefine artÂ in three to five pages, while being as specific as possible in regards to your chosen art form and presenting three points that prove to others your theme is true art.

Obviously, my chosen art form was writing. Writing horror to be exact.

My three points included:
1: Real artists will be able to differentiate between horror and slasher.
2: A master of horror writing will be able to terrify using both old techniques and original ones.
3: Real artists are able to utilize their style, voice, and overall talent to make sure audiences are never desensitized to the horror in their stories.

Many of you as authors understand what separates writing from other forms of art, and some of you are especially talented when it comes to the horror genre. So IÂd like to hear your thoughts.

How would you define the art of writing? How do you think a true artist handles all their talent to create art? How big a part to personal values, ideas, originality, and talent play into it?

Go for it. Say whatever you want about any thoughts you may have. Your comments might give me a better perspective as well as some interesting additions to my paper.

]]> *ZomaS-M Galore! http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/23026071/ http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/23026071/ Thu, 05 Feb 2009 17:41:49 PST how many updates since my last journal post? I don't know, I haven't been counting.

But I've certainly uploaded a lot of things.

There have been a few updates to both Wendell and Gargoyle. Gargoyle is back on it's orginal track - the next several updates will be edited versions of the chapters my Gargoyle fans have already become so familiar with. Wendell, meanwhile, is all new.

Next, the most obvious changes have been the ones to my tag and my icon. I made them both myself (that's why I signed them with my "ZS" with the added Scorpio "M" where it would fit). So Livi-lan, don't take the change personal - the icons you've made me will always hold a special place in my heart!

But I've wanted to make these things myself for a long time, and I like how these turned out.

And really that's all, not counting the quote of "Whence and whither, Zoma?" I added beneath mu name, which is a quote from the religious story where I got the name "Zoma"... Or at least, that's part of why I took the title.

If you want to do the research, here's the wiki on it:

[link]

I'm not a big religious nut, but having been raised agnostic unitarian made Ben Zoma's reasoning VERY interesting - not many people thought about interpreting the way he did. Everybody else just believed, hence the quote "Zoma is outside". Not a bad thing, but not nearly as interesting to read about.

ANYWHO! I've been enjoying the updates, and I hope you have too! Much love to you all!
~ZS-M

]]> *ZomaS-M Inspiration Saves http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/22853786/ http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/22853786/ Tue, 27 Jan 2009 21:37:04 PST Lucky me, I grabbed at the ledge at the last possible moment and pulled myself back up. IÂm still dealing with tons of emotional strife, but IÂm taking steps to avoid hurting myself and others (and I mean that in more ways than one). ItÂs official that IÂm dealing with depression, and IÂm still living at home with no job. But school looks like itÂs going to be awesome, particularly English, and I have truly wonderful people looking out for me!

But best of all, my creative streak seems to have returned at long last!

I hope IÂm not jinxing anything by saying so, but inspiration has been hitting me hard. All my projects are back on the table and being looked at with confident eyes. For months IÂve struggled with my writing, abhorring everything I attempted and scrapping it before it embarrassed me. What a weight lifted to reread the prose that has flown from my fingertips and find that IÂm proud of it again! To write, to enjoy it, and to be proud of it! I missed that so much. And itÂs what will keep me going forever! So thank you for sticking by me and giving me encouragement when I need it.

I am not yet looking to the beauty of the Heavens, but instead of looking at my shuffling feet I am looking toward the horizon. I am watching the sunrise and smiling because it is beautiful again.

]]> *ZomaS-M BROOKE"S MOVING OUT http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/22569493/ http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/22569493/ Tue, 13 Jan 2009 22:05:55 PST
Currently I'm living with my two good friends, back and forth on different nights. It was wonderful of their families to welcome me as warmly as they did. I still plan on finishing this semester of college, but will be dropping out afterwards to work full time and save up for college in the future or a smaller class-load, taking out student loans and all that jazz...

I love you all. I'll try harder to keep in touch, but you probably won't hear from me for a long time...

]]> *ZomaS-M Crap... http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/22385481/ http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/22385481/ Mon, 05 Jan 2009 15:38:48 PST And now I'm jobless too.

Thanks to piss-poor economy and divorce settlements that cut expenses in half, my employers have admitted they can't afford to pay me anymore. They also don't know how long this string of poverty will last for them since their jobs ebb and flow as easily as fashion (they work in the nightclub business). So now I'm totally clueless, completely fucked, and I'm finally scared.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

First of all, thank you everyone for expressing such concern and offering such generous help. ItÂs been very heartwarming and uplifting to know that even though we barely know each other, there are still some nice people out there.

Second, IÂm ok, and IÂm going to be ok. Arrangements have been made, plans, set. IÂm working on everything and doing quite well.

So, hereÂs the storyÂ

I spent a week in California with and a good friend and her family and spent a lot of time talking about the new year. I had plans. My friendÂs family was willing to help us get a place together. I needed my license and a car, pay some vet bills, pay for college... I realized that all of this was in my power, and for the new year I needed a fresh start. To celebrate, I did something impulsive: I got my bellybutton pierced. ThatÂs it.

Turns out piercings are against house rules. And my parents decided I couldn't live here anymore when I refused to take it out (I'm practically an adult, 19, capable of making small decisions about my own body when I work as hard as I do in everyday life. This piercing is so insignificant that I can't understand why they're making such a big deal of it). I figure, hey, I was leaving anyway with a resolution to take care of myself.

But to think my parents could be so stupid, so close-minded, as to kick ME, a hard-working and good person, out over something to miniscule... It's a control/independence issue, and I'm not letting them win, even if they cut me off.

Besides, removing the piercing wouldn't solve the problem. They'd still be oppressive and close-minded, like they have been for years. I can't live with people who think the way they do. I'd be moving out anyway. This just assures that they hate me as much as I hate them, I guess. If I can keep things civil and find by the end of it all I still love them, fantastic. In the meantime IÂm feeling really betrayed here. Especially when my mother is turning the facts around (did I mention sheÂs irrational?) and saying that IÂm the one walking out and that itÂs all on me.

To them, being adult is being able to drive, pay all your bills. Maturity doesnÂt come in to play at all. But IÂve been through a lot, am perfectly able to think clearly about these things. But they donÂt see me as anything but some lame kid.

I know who I am, and I know IÂm better than that, and I donÂt need this. As long as I remember that, IÂll be ok.

Yeah, thereÂs a fair few people who are on my side of this argument, while others say I should take the damn bellybutton ring out instead of throwing away all theyÂve given me. But if I thought taking out the piercing would help, I would. Except they'd still treat me like dirt, just like they have all year. And I know they've given me every opportunity in the world to have a good future, but I'm not willing to compromise to that if it means I have to give up my freedom as a person first. And I know itÂs a shame that it had to come from such a small issue, but thereÂs some symbolism here and I can respect that.

Right now I'm still staying at my parent's house. I have a couple months to make arrangements: get my license and a car, give a few friends time to get a job and find a place, etc. And I'm aiming to get one more semester of college in before my parents cut me off. In the meantime I have to pay rent and do more chores around the house.

ItÂs an absolutely ridiculous situation and IÂm sorry itÂs happening.

Meanwhile, every free moment IÂm getting is going to studying for my driverÂs permit and eventual license. So ThereÂs going to be another wait for updates. But at least I have a legitimate reason this time. And who knows. When this is such a stressful time and writing is so therapeutic, maybe IÂll pull something out my brain anyway!

Again, thank you to those who have stood by me and cared enough to pay attention and offer help. This is a period in my life where I need to keep my closest friends even closer. Thanks for showing me youÂre all a huge part of that.

]]> *ZomaS-M Feeling as fragile as... http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/22345526/ http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/22345526/ Fri, 02 Jan 2009 01:12:36 PST by Moby

In my dreams I'm dying all the time
As I wake its kaleidoscopic mind
I never meant to hurt you
I never meant to lie
So this is goodbye
This is goodbye

Tell the truth you never wanted me
Tell me

In my dreams I'm jealous all the time
As I wake I'm going out of my mind
Going out of my mind

*~*~*~*~*

I've been thrown out of the only home I've ever known.

Wait patiently for updates while I remain virtually homeless, ok?

]]> *ZomaS-M What the crap? Updates? +1 http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/22156027/ http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/22156027/ Thu, 25 Dec 2008 02:13:34 PST Another update for Wendell, completing Chapter 1.
Enjoy!

*~*~*~*~*

Not just one, but two. Happy holidays, fans!

Hopefully they satisfy, if only a little. More updates will follow.

You'll notice my gallery is practically empty. I'll be reuploading Gargoyle like rapidfire as I edit them.

Wendell gets an update too, albeit a small one. But again, more updates will follow.

Enjoy and let me know what you think! I'm still up for harsh criticism, if you have it or are oppsed to the changes for whatever reason. Stand up, stand up, don't be shy.

For those of you who are wondering, I haven't uploaded anything new since my high school graduation in June. I wonder how much my writing has changed, if at all.

Again, Happy Holidays! Thanks for putting up with me for my lazy wasted stupor that was the last half-a-year! I love you all!

]]> *ZomaS-M Take the Long Way Home http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/22095364/ http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/22095364/ Sun, 21 Dec 2008 02:00:15 PST Gargoyle might be undergoing a changeÂ

Not a major change, and nothing I can call a BAD change either. All of my readers have familiarized themselves with Part I: The Human. But Part I is probably going to become Part II, paving the way for a whole new section that is, basically, an introduction.

My thought process on this was a long one. The introduction tells a story that, originally, I was only going to tell via collections of accounts from other characters (some of which you havenÂt even met yet), but itÂs a story that has to be told. So when I decided to include a Prologue to spice up the entrance into my fantasy world, I knew exactly where to start.

But there was a problem, if you could really call it a problem. I would have to return to it later in the novel, and still only offer a teasing glimpse of what really happened before the events that begin with Chapter 1. I wasÂdissatisfied. And because writing has been a drug that I havenÂt let myself enjoy in AGES, I decided to indulge the addiction and give myself a buzz by writing out those events. The results have so far turned out better than expected.

In choosing to write a prologue, I had to conduct a whole literary analysis on Gargoyle. During this last month IÂve gotten closer to all my beloved characters, and made a few decisions.

A good reason, for exampleÂ

In case you havenÂt noticed, NONE of the chapters written thusfar have been told from HannahÂs perspective. There were a couple reasons for this that IÂve since decided to throw out the window. The major one being that I had wanted readers to feel so detached from Hannah that we are more easily able to conform to the feelings or opinions of the other characters. When Alex gets a chapter, we feel a mysterious kind of sympathy and fear for her, but when Bade gets a chapter, we donÂt care for her as much as we care for others. ItÂs been a way to get into their heads. But at some point while writing this prologue I realized that Hannah, too, is a great character, and I personally feel robbed of the opportunity to properly introduce you all to her. The introduction lets us see her before Operation Gargoyle, and getting to compare her personality from then to her personality now makes the events that shattered her life that much more unsettling, I think. Plus, my other characters have been glowing strongly so far. Giving Hannah the spotlight for the beginning wonÂt hurt them. And as for the storylineÂ Well, these additions will answer questions with more questions, which is always delish.

SO, itÂs just a matter of editing. Part I: The Human becomes Part II: The Human. The new and improved Part I takes the stage in what, so far, looks to be three brand new chapters. Not long ones, mind you, but delightful ones.

If this idea sounds sketchy to you, trust me; youÂll enjoy getting this side of the story like this more than you would have enjoyed getting via my original plansÂ

And itÂs MY story anyway. IÂll do what I want. I worked my ass for my first college semester and I deserve whatever freedoms I want.

And frankly, future chapters canÂt, and probably wonÂt, be written til I sort this out. Hopefully this wonÂt take long. IÂll certainly be getting as much done as possible before January 20, where I have to return toÂ college.

*~*~*~*

Now we get a peek at The Gargoyle Soundtrack, where next up is HannahÂs song.

Finding a song that suited Hannah was both fun and trying. For a while I had no song that actually felt like HER by herself. The songs I did have made me think of her relationship with others. Songs like that include CanÂt Come Quickly Enough by Scissor Sisters and Dreams by The Cranberries, both AMAZING songs that everyone should listen to.

During this search, I was introduced to a wonderful band, and they happened to have written a song with lyrics that perfectly resemble Hannah. It was a lucky coincidence that I heard this band and this song, because I think youÂll agree that this song IS Hannah, RIGHT down to the lyrics being cut short in the chorus:

Looking Glass by The Birthday Massacre

Waiting as I'm wanting to.
Speaking as I'm spoken to.
Changing to your point of view.
Fading as I follow you.

A boyish notion of false emotion.
These words are spoken despite my love.
A fool's devotion was set in motion.
My eyes are open now.

It's a glass cage so I can't prete... ]]> *ZomaS-M Alexander's Song + My 19th Birthday http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/21339997/ http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/21339997/ Wed, 05 Nov 2008 12:52:11 PST by Coldplay

When I was a young boy I tried to listen
And I wanna feel like that
Little white shadows - blink and miss them
Part of a system I am

If you ever feel like something's missing
Things you never understand
Little white shadows sparkle and glisten
Part of a system, a plan

All this noise, I'm waking up
All this space I'm taking up
All this sound is breaking up

Maybe you'll get what you wanted
Maybe you'll stumble upon it
Everything you ever wanted
In a permanent state
Maybe you'll know when you see it
Maybe if you say it you'll mean it
And when you find it you'll keep it
In a permanent state, a permanent state

When I was a young boy I tried to listen
Don't you wanna feel like that?
You're part of the human race
All of the stars in the outer space
Are part of a system, a plan

All this noise I'm waking up
All this space I'm taking up
I cannot hear, you're breaking up

Maybe you'll get what you wanted
Maybe you'll stumble upon it
Everything you ever wanted
In a permanent state
Maybe you'll know when you see it
Maybe if you say it you'll mean it
And when you find it you'll keep it
In a permanent state, a permanent state

Swimmin' on a sea of faces
I'm tired of the human race, is all
An answer now is what I need
See it in the new sun risin'
See it break on your horizon, oh
Come on Love, stay with me

*~*~*

So just like EVERY other character I've created, Alex gets a few songs.

I wonder whose song you'd like to hear next, hm? I have a whole playlist for Gargoyle characters...

*~*~*

Yesterday, Tuesday November 4th 2008, Obama became the new President-elect. I couldn't be more proud of my country (but I've also made the joke that Obama's CHANGE stands for "Can Help a Nigga Get Elected"

). It feels nice to have voted for the first time in my life for the winning candidate. I have high hopes for this country. The change Obama talks about may be good, or it may end up being bad. Obama stood for a change in image to me. I had so little faith in my homeland because we look terrible, ignorant, and stupid even to ourselves sometimes. But Obama has spoken of reinventing our image to the world, and I respect that more than even his plans for he educational system (lol).

AND

Today, Wednesday November 5th, 2008, is my 19th birthday.
...There's not much to say about that, actually.

I'm 19... Yeah.

But here's where you get annoyed with me:

Guess who decided not to work on Gargoyle for her birthday? I wrote the next chapter of Wendell instead. This doesn't mean that Gargoyle isn't getting done. It IS getting done. But Wendell cut in line before I could finish the Prologue I decided to add into the Gargoyle timeline (thanks to some suggestions from readers).

So I may be using my birthday as an excuse to stop people from getting irked with my lack of updates with Gargoyle. Hey, Birthday Girl Brooke wanted to write Wendell, okay?

THINGS WILL BE UP BY THE END OF THE WEEK. I PROMISE.

]]> *ZomaS-M Mr. Sicari's Favorite Song (of the week) http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/21020751/ http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/21020751/ Thu, 16 Oct 2008 17:36:30 PDT by Coheed and Cambria

You could've been all I wanted
But you weren't honest
Now get in the ground
You choked off the surest of favors
But if you really loved me
You would've endured my world

Well if you're just as I presumed
A whore in sheep's clothing
Fucking up all I do
And if so here we stop
Then never again
Will you see this in your life

Hang on to the glory at my right hand
Here laid to rest is our love ever longed
With truth on the shores of compassion
You seem to take premise to all of these songs

You stormed off to scar the armada
Like Jesus played letter,
I'll drill through your hands
The stone for the curse you have blamed me
With love and devotion, I'll die as you sleep
But if you could just write me out
To neverless wonder... happy will I become
Be true that this is no option,
So with sin I condemn you
Demon play, demon out!

Hang on to the glory at my right hand
Here laid to rest is our love ever longed
With truth on the shores of compassion
You seem to take premise to all of these songs

One last kiss for you
One more wish to you
Please make up your mind girl...
I'd do anything for you
One last kiss for you
One more wish to you
Please make up your mind girl...
Before I hope you die

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

This song has single-handedly returned to me my inspiration.

It does seem to be Jonathan's favorite song lately; he pops up every time I hear it and strangles me, screaming "WRITE! I NEED TO GET THESE FEELINGS OUT!"

Um, and if I may address a slight triviality, whenever Jonathan wants to hear it he has three people in mind. Care to guess who? If you guess correctly, taking all the lyrics into consideration, you get this wonderful thing called "insight"!

This is an amazing song though - the energy and anger behind it is spell-binding. So go give it a listen.

And in the meantime I'll write the next chapter of "Gargoyle".

Granted, this weekend I'll be 100% devoted to other matters. But we'll see what I can get done by tomorrow, yes? Mr. Sicari may get his wishes granted.

]]> *ZomaS-M Aaand we're back! http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/20892686/ http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/20892686/ Wed, 08 Oct 2008 16:01:52 PDT
I know, I know, IÂve been seriously out of touch Â I dropped off the face of the Earth there for a long time, and I know I made some of worry (DENLM)!

Really sorry about that. But fear not! Brooke is back!

You can thank my computer for deciding to crash. Luckily a friend was able to fix it for me free of charge, but IÂve gotten next to nothing done.

In case you havenÂt been able to tell, IÂm completely swamped with things to do. I havenÂt written anything for personal enjoyment in ages and I really miss all my characters. Wendell has been shining the brightest lately, but luckily heÂs a patient guy. At the moment IÂm lucky just to have time to sit down and read all of YOUR stuff (which hasnÂt been happening thanks to my computer crashing). Even now I SHOULD be working on an essay for Anthropology.

Again, I hope youÂll forgive me for my total lack of activity. But I am back in touch and feeling great!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Midterms are coming up. I fear IÂve fallen a bit behind (only in one particular class: Cultural Anthropology). IÂm doing exceedingly well in my math classÂ Ok ok, itÂs Math 95, Pre-algebra. It barely counts. But IÂve managed to get perfect scores on all my tests so far and have earned some extra credit, so I literally have 101% (this college student actually hung her test on the fridge for her family to see). I'm such a NERD! The problem with math? Teacher doesnÂt collect homework until the end of the semester, grading it all at once. So Brooke thought it was ok to slack off a bit in order to get ahead in other classes and is now a few weeks behind. But it IS all easy, so it WILL get doneÂ eventually.

AnthropologyÂ My mom is a history teacher and she scolded me for saying it was a boring subject. Maybe itÂs the way my teacher lectures. But honestly, cultures donÂt really interest me. IÂm going to be here teaching English forever. Forgive me if IÂm not interested in the bathroom rituals of the people of West Africa (we actually have talked about that).

English itself is another story. Because IÂm currently an English major pursuing a degree in education, they placed me in 101 even though I placed much higher in my exams (why make me take the damn test at all? Seriously) Anyway, that class is boring for a few reasons. The first being that I know everything already. And thatÂs not an exaggeration. The second being that my teacher is bored with her job. SheÂs been teaching too long. And sheÂs pretty close-minded. According to her, a climax to a narrative is a single sentence containing the words Âat that moment I realizedÂ. I wonÂt be the one to argue, but I canÂt wait til I get to a higher level.

Psychology 101 is trippy as all hell. My teacher has decided that weÂre his guinea pigs. He made me cry last Friday just because he tricked us into thinking something horribleÂ ItÂs a long story. IÂll talk about it when I have more energy.

And finally, my FAVORITE class: Philosophy 101. My teacher is a close friend of my dadÂs, and heÂs really cool, so I want to impress him. Critical Thinking itself is REALLY interesting, but thereÂs a lot to learn. My first big test is tomorrow and I know my lecture notes and the textbook material backwards. But IÂm still nervous cos IÂm a lousy test-taker and the teacherÂs constantly reminding us that this is the hardest test weÂll ever take. He asks if we have any questions, and when we donÂt he tells us heÂs anxious. ÂYou either really do understand or you donÂt have a clue. IÂm hoping itÂs not the latter.Â So I KNOW I know the stuff, but when I canÂt think of questions to ask he scares me.

WORK: IÂm still getting paid a shitload of money for almost no labor. But itÂs all fine by me. Four hours a day, five days a week for a weekly pay of $260 is plenty for me right now.

Aaand thatÂs my life these daysÂ

UmÂ Anybody else clinging to the new season of Heroes? ItÂs weirdÂ

]]> *ZomaS-M A Few Things to Get Ya Started http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/19963425/ http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/19963425/ Fri, 15 Aug 2008 03:09:35 PDT Life

This has been an EXTREMELY hectic week for me. I started my job on Monday (and I'm loving it by the way - I LOVE cleaning! And the girls I babysit are so wonderful! But I had to feed the snake a live rat today and I wanted to cry. And last Friday my father left town to meet my mother in Oregon. She left a month ago for a teaching seminar. That left ME in charge of the house, the kids, and all the animals for the week. My boyfriend moved in for the week to help out (he's the only one here who can drive because I fail at life), but he hasn't done much. I've gotten little sleep and VERY little alone time. I sleep from about 2am to noon, clean my house and assign chores to the kids for my boyfriend to supervise, go to Cedric's (my employer) house at about 2, clean THAT place and watch the kids until about 6 or 7, come home, take a short nap, clean the house some more, feed the kids and make sure their chores are done, then clean YET AGAIN, finally getting to sleep at around 2. And the cycle continues on to the following day...

Strangely, I've been enjoying myself. I'm sure I'd crash if I really had to live my life this way, don't get me wrong. But I love keeping busy and productive. Suffice it to say that I DO get ME time. I'm able to zone out while cleaning the two houses

I haven't been counting down the seconds to my parents' return, but it's good to know they'll be back. And even then, I just want to see them because I miss them, not because I want them to lighten my load.

Hope that explains my absence. Still haven't written or read anything new, really. But that leads me to other topics of discussion.

DeviantArt Life

Some of you have heard about twilight-apple and bekkia's lit contest. If not, read about it here: [link]

If all goes well and I get my ideas cleared, I have every intent on entering this contest. If nothing else, I hope it will beat this writer's block I have going on.

The only real work I've done is editing, and I've only managed to further edit the first two chapters of Gargoyle.

I came to the realization that if I wanted Gargoyle to go anywhere, I had to better identify my audience. I never wanted it to be a young adult story because I knew I would have to censor myself (I don't just mean language. Part II is going to be VERY violent.) So I worried that the technique wouldn't attract adult eyes, even when I edited the first two chapters. I struggled to manipulate the language and grammar and all that jazz to make the whole idea more sophisticated.

The conflict: I think I hate it. It feels to poetic and almost fake to me, and the boyfriend-person agrees (but I'm inclined to brush his opinion away because he never reads fiction anyway). But it's easier to UPgrade a story than to DOWNgrade it, methinks.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE take am peek at Gargoyle's first two chapters and share your thoughts; I need an excuse to convince myself to change it again, even though I know how time-consuming that will be.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

MEMES

DarcKnyt's "Pay It Forward"
Or as I want to call it, the Kevin Spacey Meme (Yeah, I'm obsessed, what'cha want?)

"All right, here it is: the Pay It Forward Meme! If your name appears below, you can either ignore me (a lot of people do, don't feel special) or you can play along, and see how far this measure of kindness and "warm fuzziness" can spread. Take a stand; pick a side; do what moves you. Let's see what you got.

Here are the rules:

Do NOT -- repeat, DO NOT -- comment back to the one listing you. No. You've effectively been tagged, and there's no tag-backs. Neener. No, what you do is go through your OWN watch list and find people to say something nice about. Don't hold back, and don't expect anything in return. Pay it Forward, just like the movie with the creepy "I See Dead People" kid in it, remember?

Say it right to them, just like they're standing in front of you, rather than in the third person; this is about making someone feel better, after all.

You receive nothing in return. Nothing. Just give."

I actually told him how sweet this was when I was the first person he talked about. Broke the rules. Sorry. Not really. I know I was also supposed to have this Meme done by Monday. Obviously it didn't work out that way. Forgive me!

Friends were chosen randomly. Aight?

denlm
If you haven't been a complete and total inspiration since the moment I met you than I don't know my ups from downs. You're a talented writer, a wonderful friend, and one of the nicest people I've ever had the privilege of meeting. To be able to call... ]]> *ZomaS-M Brooke's First Job http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/19835366/ http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/19835366/ Thu, 07 Aug 2008 21:16:42 PDT
The Boyfriend-Person Mitch says this job makes me an "Au Pair"; basically a maid/nanny close to the family I'll be working for.

My 10 year old sis Francesca has this best friend named Maia, and the two of them are inseparable. Her father, Cedric, asked me if I would be willing to clean and babysit and basically care for his daughter and house while he works. I would have accepted anyway because Maia a sweetie and a job's a job.

THEN he mentioned he'd be paying me $300 a week, about $12.50 an hour. About 5 hours 5 days a week, I think.

There was a small conflict in that I can't drive yet and need my own transportation. But my awesome boyfriend and suddenly - supportive parents are willing to drive us around. They'll get me to the house, pick up the girls from school, take them to their piano lessons and their raquetball games at the gym. Cedric is willing to give me an extra $10 for gas this (which won't actually be mine until I drive). In the mean time, I work hard to get my license.

SO YEAH! AWESOME!

Especially considering the title. I'll be Dr. Girlfriend from Venture Brothers! She was once Lady Au Pair. And Maia and Francesca will be my Murderous Moppets!

I'll keep people posted on what hours I'll be working. This means even LESS time for writing (this is also why I haven't been on a lot lately - been finalizing arrangements).

Love y'all!

]]> *ZomaS-M Music n Me http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/19702921/ http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/19702921/ Thu, 31 Jul 2008 15:39:53 PDT I had a lot of fun picking a band whose music and song titles could accurately describe me and answer these questions. And when I found the ONE band, BOY WAS I HAPPY!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*
- Choose a singer/band/group
- Answer using ONLY titles of songs by that singer/band/group

QUEEN

1. are you male or female?
Killer Queen

2. describe yourself.
Don't Stop Me Now

3. what do people feel when they're around you?
We are the Champions

4. how would you describe your previous relationship?
Save Me

5. describe your current relationship.
You're my Best Friend

6. where would you want to be now?
Now I'm Here

7. how do you feel about love?
Crazy Little Thing Called Love

8. what's your life like?
Under Pressure

9. what would you ask for if you had only one wish?
Somebody to Love

10. say something wise.
Play the Game

]]> *ZomaS-M Joys and Frustrations + Update and links! http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/19670900/ http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/19670900/ Thu, 31 Jul 2008 02:17:49 PDT EDIT: Some of you can see the ad for The Gargoyle novel and some of you can't (I'm seeing it on other sites too now, like fanfiction.net). When you click on the ad, it takes you here: [link]

AND, since I mentioned fanfiction.net, and have actually been meaning to tell you guys about this anyway, I have another link for all of you Batman Fans! Specifically The Joker and Harley Quin. Though even if you didn't like Batman, or didn't know anything about it, I would suggest this. It's an absolutely AMAZING read! You don't need to know much about the series to understand this story, either, so no excuses! I pulled an all-nighter reading this because I couldn't stop.

[link]

Enjoy! If you do read it, tell me what you think!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Joys: Thanks to wonderful encouragement from certain friends (you lovely people know who you are!), I'm happily back at work, writing, planning, and editing. I'm very relieved, now that the stupid part of life isn't getting to me, and I've been keeping myself busy by both writing and reading. And costume-making with some friends.

Frustrations: Who else has noticed the advertisements around deviantArt? Y'know, the ones for a book called The Gargoyle?

Makes me so annoyed! Especially because I checked it out and I really want to read it! It sounds amazing! There's no real likeness to his story and mine: tragedy twists things around, I suppose. But it seems his gargoyle idea offers the same symbolism as mine: twisted, hideous guardians. And here I thougt I was being clever.

I still want to read it. He seems like a cool guy and I want to support his first book. It does seem like a great story.

Other Stuff: Saw The Dark Knight again with my little ten-year-old sister Francescaa. She got really scared at some points. After that disappearing pencil trick, she kind of hid her face in my armpit whenever the Joker came on screen (and she knew when that would be because of that damned siren-like noise that, I suppose, serves as his theme "music"). And then we we got out, we walked hand in hand through the parking lot and she said "I'm sad he died - he was really amazing! And scary!" I was all like "That's what I said!" Then my dad got mad at me because she asked me how Mr. Ledger died and I told her accidental drug overdose. If she's old enough to ask, she's old enough to know. She's ten, not two, and it's good for children to know about what happens when you mix dangerous medicines. She'll never accidentaly kill herself that way, now. And she'll never mistake meds for candy because I was honest with her when she asked me if that bottle of pink ibuprofen pills was candy. Francesca is a smart girl and I love her, but I have to convince my stepdad that I'm not brainwashing his precious daughter with lies and slander. He must think the world is a perfect place. Didn't the Joker teach him anyting?

That movie is life-changing. It really is. Has everyone see it yet?

Oh, and this is interesting: my mood thing has been stuck on "Yearning", but every time I update my journal I actually am yearning. Lawlz.

]]> *ZomaS-M Life in General http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/19579124/ http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/19579124/ Thu, 24 Jul 2008 19:41:12 PDT
Anyway my point is I think I've beaten my lag and I'll be getting back to my usual activities soon. I've been spending a lot of time with my friends and away from my suffocating house, which means my spirits have been lifted, if only a little. The problem is my father is always upset with me, even when I haven't been home to do anything wrong. He might really hate me, so it is really bothering my state of mind. But friends and Batman have cheered me up.

I'll be in touch.

]]> *ZomaS-M The Dark Knight - No Spoilers http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/19473894/ http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/19473894/ Fri, 18 Jul 2008 22:30:31 PDT

Some of you may remember seeing Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire with me.

How long did I cry? A good hour?

Call me a nerd: Dark Knight kept me crying for almost two hours. It was just too fucking awesome.

For a couple specific reasons. The first, of course, being The Joker. Ledger really mastered the role; he completely disappeared INTO this character, and he kicked Jack Nicholson's ass. He's not my favorite bad guy, but you knew right from the start, with his "Disappearing Pencil" trick, that this guy was NOT fucking around. He honestly scared the shit out of me to the point where I was sobbing in the middle of the movie because I was either really terrified or just laughing my ass off (because he WAS funny). And his "emotional" connection with Batman, his whole "You complete me" "Why would I kill you? You're too much fun!" thing, handled wonderfully. But as funny as he was, some of the stuff he did, of the shit he pulled, things he said... Freaked me OUT. There's already talk of Mr. Ledger winning the Oscar for it. He totally should.

Two-Face, on the other hand, IS one of my favorite villains, and he really came out brilliantly, so kudos to Aaron Eckhart. You did really see Harvey Dent for who he truly was as the film went on until his accident, and after that... Masterful. Love the guy.

The film itself was awesome, direction, special effects, all that jazz. Did anyone else notice just how many windows there were all over the place? The soundtrack was exactly the same as the soundtrack to Batman Begins, which is a good thing (I own the soundtrack, so I know for sure). The biggest difference was that blaring siren sound that got louder and louder every time the Joker was on the screen. That's prolly one of the big reason why he scared me too.

I'll be seeing it again, I'm sure. It was too awesome and too inspiring NOT to see again. And Livi, I'll be taking you because your head will explode from the greatness.

If nothing else, I HAVE to see that disappearing pencil trick again...

]]> *ZomaS-M Apologies and Other Such Frivolities http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/19184899/ http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/19184899/ Thu, 03 Jul 2008 13:33:05 PDT that overwhlemingly terrifying, and how can sitting behind the wheel of a killing machine surrounded by other idiots in killing machines be scary? It's beyond comprehension and completely disgusting, the way I make adult consenting decisions in attenpts to shape myself and my relationships. Forget how safe I always am. It's totally my fault and I deserve every blow my family throws at me, verbal or emotional.

Yeah. Bullshit. I'm not worthless or useless and they're all lucky to have me.

So, yes, I've been slacking on novel-writing at the moment, but I've been paying close attention the the way my deviations list is growing every day. I promise to take a look at everything and get on top of things. But right now, I just can't work for myself.

I'm sorry for everything. Truly, I am.

]]> *ZomaS-M The Dark Knight - Inspiration at its Finest http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/18942106/ http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/18942106/ Fri, 20 Jun 2008 03:24:31 PDT [link]

That trailer, available for download at that link...

I've been watching it over and over, picking at it from every possible angle.

I don't think I've ever been more inspired in my fucking life.

It turns my emotions into a swirling drain of insanity. Joy, fear, anger, frustration, and jaw-clenching intensity all tie together into one thing: obsession.

When I think about this movie (because I'm a hardcore DC girl, and Batman is the ultimate poster boy for the company), my breath seizes in my lungs, my hearts races in my chest. That's never happened to me before. Maybe it's because of the death of Mr. Ledger, who WILL be the greatest Joker of all time...

Oh but THAT guy. That's not even Heath Ledger. Any member of the cast who had to work with him on set will tell you that that actor let himself go. In an interview, Michael Caine admitted to forgetting all of his lines when the Joker burst through the doors in their first scene together because Heath Ledger actually terrified him. And when he approaches the character Rachel in the ballroom scene with that spine-chilling "Well hello beautiful" and "You look nervous" while he licks his lips? If that isn't fear in her eyes and in her entire body, strike me down now.

He terrifies me too. No joke. There so much overwhleming fear when I watch this trailer that I feel sick. He's the ultimate bad guy, one of the greatest villains of all time, a kind of evil I've never dared touch. But he was never played up as the true madman he was. How many of us remember the real DC canon, when the Joker killed Robin by beating his head in with a lead pipe? Or when he shot and paralyzed Gordon's daughter and took disgusting pictures of her body? THAT'S the Joker I've been begging to see, and THAT'S the Joker I think we're going to get. JUST LOOK AT HIM! HE'S FUCKING CRAZY! AND YOU CAN SEE IT IN EVERYBODY'S FACES IN THAT TRAILER!

Even Heath Ledger himself admitted, before his unfortunate death, that playing the Joker was a mistake. This character forced him to do and say things he truly hated doing, made him act like a madman, and probably turned him into a madman. Reports have been released with interviews from cast and crew members that tell horror stories about what went on in those scenes. Heath Ledger going beyond crazy at times, fainting as soon as "CUT" was called, continuing to play the Joker role off-camera until he had everybody really scared of him. Mr. Ledger was a very dedicated actor. He was his own worst critic, and it drove him to suicide.

Call me crazy and call me obsessed, but I think the Joker drove him to suicide too.

That trailer. Freaks. Me. The. Fuck. Out.

Don't get me wrong. It looks like it'll be amazing, the best hero movie ever. And like I said, I'm a huge Batman girl. I'm looking forward to these amazing actors playing amazing roles.

Harvey Dent's in it. Beloved Two-Face. His line towards the end of the trailer, "You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become a villain"? Like that isn't the biggest cherry on a sundae I've ever seen. Cos Two-Face rules.

I guess that's how I end a rant.

I'm going to go write now. Cos I've been blown away.

]]> *ZomaS-M The Boss is on a Roll! EDIT http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/18901774/ http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/18901774/ Thu, 26 Jun 2008 16:00:12 PDT
In all seriousness, I have been on a roll since I graduated. My spirits and hopes are high, and IÂve been nothing short of completely inspired. Luckily my cast of characters has been understanding, and has been cooperating well with the drama IÂm making them push through.

If I have one character who is a bit ticked by the rush of Gargoyle chapters, itÂs Wendell. And as you can imagine, heÂs scary when heÂs upset.

WeÂre SO close to the end of Part I of Gargoyle. After that, itÂll be time for some major edits. Every chapter of Gargoyle will be turned over for unsightly bugs, and that single crappy short story in my gallery is kind of begging for attention. THEN weÂll be welcoming new chapters of Wendell! And after that, Part II!

People seem more interested in Wendell anyway.

SO!

Updates include:
1: Wendell: ÂUntitledÂ Introduction
2: Gargoyle XXV
3: Gargoyle XXVI
4: Gargoyle XXVII
5: Gargoyle XXVIII

IÂd like to add that my next update will be my 50th deviation! How exciting!

Expect TONS of rapid updates. Now that itÂs summer vacation, and I have my brand new trusty laptop, IÂll be writing more than ever!

TO DO LIST:
1: Finish writing Gargoyle Part I: The Human (no estimate on how many chapters that is at this time.)
2: Work on Wendell (before its main character murders me!)
3: Begin editing Of Death, Dreams, and Devils
4: Begin rewriting/editing Gargoyle Part I: The Human

*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I'm putting this up again, because a lot of people missed it the first time, because I immediately replaced it with a Dark Knight rant.

From Tyanite ([link] ):
Leave a comment, and I will:
a) Tell you why I watched you
b) Associate you with something - fandom, a song, a color, a photo, etc...
c) Tell you something I like about you
d) Tell you a memory I have of you
e) Ask something I've always wanted to know about you
f) In return, you must post this in your journal.

It seems some of us are going through some tough times. My best wishes to you all!

ZS-M

*~*~*~*~*~*~*
EDIT: Feeling bummed about my personal life.

Well, more than bummed. I'm very quickly spiraling into depression thanks to a terrible misunderstanding that has led to my entire family, even my distant family, into hating me. Each member of my family has different ways of expressing themselves. My mother is also spiraling into depression that keeps her in bed and unable to coherently talk to anyone. My father yells and screams and instigates arguments looking for an excuse to tell people how useless they are. My fourteen year old sister is probably the whole reason this misunderstanding has been overblown, and she seems very happy that everybody is too upset with me to talk to her at all (it gives her more time to stay on myspace, you see). And the ten year old? Has no idea what's going on, but knows that everybody else is angry with me, so she's angry with me too.

Needless to say, I haven't been writing as much as I care to. For example, the last two days I've been running away from my home by going to the homes of others. And once there, I've avoided using their computers. It's nice of them to offer me advice or a place to stay. The least I can do is offer them my full attention.

I've been angry, depressed, lonely, and smothered in one confusing whirlwind of problems.

But I know who I am, regardless of what anyone else tells me. And I'll get through this, like I always do.

Expect the next couple chapters before the weekend is over.
~ZS-M

]]> *ZomaS-M Updates and Such http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/18355137/ http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/18355137/ Fri, 16 May 2008 17:08:23 PDT
I realized that when you take the hyphen out of ZomaS-M, you get ÂZomaSMÂ. Zomasm. I wonder what a zomasm is. Nothing like ÂorgasmÂ I'm sure.

ANYWAY!

UPDATES

Inspiration has hit me hard; I might as well have two black eyes. So we have a couple updates.

IÂm pleased to be introducing to you, my readers, a brand new title! Wendell is my latest challenge, a love story turned upside-down by dementia. I hope that you all enjoy reading it as the story takes form!

The premise and prologue to Wendell have both been uploaded for your viewing pleasure. Be kind, and please comment (even if itÂs nothing more than a simple ÂI will read on”

. You loyal Gargoyle readers have been kind enough to leave praise and criticism, but the difference between these two stories is that I have enough faith in Gargoyle to know exactly what IÂm doing. For many different reasons, Wendell will be an extremely challenging experience for me, and while I hope IÂm capable of tackling it, your views would really help the story take shape!

DonÂt worry about Gargoyle either! ItÂs still going strong! We have a new chapter uploaded, and I hope that it satisfies you. IÂll admit, after I recovered from my sickness I slacked a little bit to make room for Wendell, and with the exception of Bade, whoÂs a quiet guy anyway, the entire cast seems furious with me.

Summer vacation is fats approaching, and on June 12th IÂll officially be a high-school graduate!

No doubt weÂll have tons of joy-happy updates then!

Updates include
1: Wendell Â A Premise
2: Wendell - Prologue
3: Gargoyle Chapter XXIV

TO DO LIST
1: Write Gargoyle Chapter XXV
2: Write Wendell Chapter 1

Now that I have two major projects, IÂll be alternating my writing tasks. First Gargoyle, then Wendell, then Gargoyle again, and so on until Part I of Gargoyle is finished and in need of editing. I do plan on taking more care with editing Wendell as I write it.

Much love and many thanks!
~ ZS-M

]]> *ZomaS-M Just when I thought I was getting better... http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/18099904/ http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/18099904/ Wed, 30 Apr 2008 10:48:31 PDT
Scary stuff.

So this sucks. And I'm sorry about not wanting to work on anything. But I almost died, so I think you'll forgive me.

]]> *ZomaS-M The Most Awesome Thing Ever - Fanart http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/18078592/ http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/18078592/ Mon, 28 Apr 2008 21:29:20 PDT
Out of a pretty selfish request to a close friend, an absolutely gorgeous piece of art for Gargoyle has been uploaded to The-Pirate-Fox's gallery ([link]). It's only right that all the love possible gets sent her way, because she's simply too remarkable to be ignored by anyone, even without my gratitude. I'm sure you'll agree if you're a Gargoyle fan.

Becoming a Gargoyle by The-Pirate-Fox
[link]

Be sure to check out the rest of her stellar work while you're visiting.

Love is also due to darmoon87 ([link]), who gave us the very first bit of Gargoyle fanart when I took part in a little contest of hers. I featured her in my last journal, but she still needs some recognition for her kickass art of Bade.

Bade by darmoon87
[link]

I think we're all in agreement that these people are so beyond amazing that it makes my head explode. So give 'em some love.

]]> *ZomaS-M Fanart and a Meme from Jonathan Sicari http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/18040128/ http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/18040128/ Sat, 26 Apr 2008 14:37:09 PDT Gargoyle goes. Alex, I think, is upset with me for forcing him to make certain choices, and is rebelling. But this is ok with me. IÂve been working on other things, and have been reading a lot of all of your work.

The only note-worthy thing about Gargoyle is that I made a mistake. Part I IS going to be more than 30 chapters. Not much more. But more. There are a few things that have to happen that I totally forgot about.

So no real updates this time around.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

LIFE

Things have been going well. The end of this school year is near, and my graduation rapidly approaching. So IÂve been more than a little busy. IÂve managed to find the time to read more of other peoplesÂ work, and have been working on a few things (Gargoyle is giving me a little trouble, and so far IÂve been ok with pushing it aside to work on other things).

Just adopted a 4 month old kitten. Black domestic short hair. 4 month. Male. Named him Yaoi to go with the kitten my boyfriend and I adopted last year. Her name is Eurydice, after the Greek myth, but her nickname is pronounced like ÂYuriÂ. So we needed a Yaoi. And heÂs a sweetie.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

And more exciting still!

I got to request a bit of art from darmoon87 ([link]), and she created this totally sickhouse wicked awesome fan art of Bade! So many kudos and thanks her way, because this picture is the very first Gargoyle fanart!

Check it out! [link]

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Character Interview
Gargoyle's own Jonathan Sicari

1) Full Name: Jonathan Ansel Sicari

2) Male/Female: I like to think myself a gentleman.

3) Were you named after anyone?: Ansel is a family name. I share it with my father, and his father, and so on.

4) Does your name mean anything?: Jonathan is Hebrew for ÂGod has GivenÂ Ansel means ÂA GodÂ in French. ÂGod has given a GodÂ. It can mean many things, when one thinks on it. I took it to be my lifeÂs purpose. My sister finds me too dramatic.

5) Nick Name(s): I have no nicknames. Only titles. Most simply call me Mr. Sicari.

6) Who do you think you look like: ItÂs difficult to say. IÂve been told I look like my mother, but I have very few memories of her, that poor sick woman. And I donÂt spend a lot of timing comparing myself to others. But IÂm sure I would have noticed if anyone ELSE looked this good.

7) Date Of Birth: April 1st, 1940.

8) Place of Birth and Current Location: I was born in Florence, Italy. But, shame, we snuck into America to find decent medication for my pregnant mother when I was twelve. I have many homes all over the U.S. But Seattle must be my favorite city. ThereÂs always a suicide victimÂs corpse for the taking.

9) Nationality: IÂve heard we Italians have more fun.

10) Astrology Sign: Aries. A sign of the self. IÂm independent, competitive, headstrong. Of course, IÂve also heard we Aries are violent, arrogant, and impulsive, often referred to as Âuncontrolled fireÂ. Adorable!

11) Chinese Astrology Sign: 1904 was a Dragon year, which makes me idealistic, passionate, ambitious, and a bit eccentric. I think itÂs a fitting description.

12) Religion: The Sicari family has always been raised Catholic. I evolved. Lucky me.

13) WhatÂs your favorite smell?: IÂm a fan of musky smells. Like sandalwood.

14) Political Position?: I usually side with the party that has current power in this so called democracy. I please them, I get what I want.

15) What do you prefer to drink in the morning?: ItÂs never too early or too late for merlot.

16) Hair + Eye color: My hair is a deep brown Â very Italian Â and I was born with eyes the color of blood. Quite tasteful, really; only we Sicaris have eyes that color.

17) Do you look like anyone famous?: I stopped comparing myself to others years ago because I always came to the same conclusion: there is no one greater than me!

18) What do you look like?: We already talked about the hair and eye color. Skin like porcelain. Clean fingernails. Angled, sharp features. IÂve noticed my eyelashes are very long. I stand at about 5Â7, and I have a very pronounced collarbone thanks to a childhood injury.

19) Any unusual talents?: I sing. To myself.

20) Righty, Lefty, or Ambidextrous?: Ambidextrous. Surprised?

21) Gay, Straight, Bi, or Other?: ÂBisexualÂ always sounded so vulgar. I prefer to call myself Âopen-mindedÂ. *ZomaS-M Ups and Downs http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/17901234/ http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/17901234/ Thu, 17 Apr 2008 18:23:36 PDT
Serious bummer. Cos I have no energy to write or clean or anything. I do want to clean: my room gets messy when IÂm sick, and I hate being in that pigsty when IÂm ill. And when I couldnÂt pull myself out of bed to clean the litter boxes, my dad yelled at me.

I hate being sick.

]]> *ZomaS-M ANOTHER "Orphaned Works" Journal http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/17816163/ http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/17816163/ Sat, 12 Apr 2008 15:11:17 PDT
The government of the United States, which is supposed to be a living democracy for self-expression, may legalize the theft of anything you create.

This article explains the whole story: [link]

I URGE you take action against this atrocity! Passing this could take away our right to self-expression. And in what is supposed to be a government for the people and by the people, this can only be called unjust. Please, take action!

Please take a look, and do the same. This must be protested in every possible way! Below is a petition against the orphaned Works. As signature number 761, I signed this petition as such:

ÂBy threatening the rights of our art, you are threatening our right to be ourselves. Is this not a government by and for the people? We will not take this violation of our freedom of expression quietly just so the corrupt government can get more money from thieving corporations.Â

Join hundreds of others in signing this petition: [link]

Our government should stop selling its soul to the devil, doncha think? And by devil I mean business corporations.

While weÂre on the subject, I might as well tell you about this:
[link]

Take action for yourselves. If our country is going to sink this low, IÂd like to go out with one hell of a bang.

]]> *ZomaS-M Little Upcoming Attractions http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/17803378/ http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/17803378/ Fri, 11 Apr 2008 21:52:47 PDT LIFE

Guess what?

Gargoyle is giving me trouble again.

This is nothing as serious as before. Certainly the next chapter will be up soon. But thanks to a series of small events, I've been inspired to work on a few other things. I can hardly call this unfortunate.

Firstly, I saw the film "Amadeus" for the first time last week. Adored it. Have been listening to a lot of Falco since. And it was in an Algebra class, with "Rock Me Amadeus!" plugged into my ear that I found myself sketching a cute doodle of Mozart. I liked it. And am now working on an extended piece of art. Ain't it nice?

Secondly, we've been discussing "Don Quixote" in my World Literature class, and I've thusfar managed to breeze through my lessons without actually reading it. I know the premise and characters, and that's been enough. However, this warped version of knighthood gave me a twisted sort of inspiration, and I'm working on a pitch for a new story. The skeleton of this is still coming out, but you'll know when I have a full idea: it will be uploaded and put into my "Premises and Summaries" folder. All i know about it right now is that it will probably fall into the horror genre.

"Rock me Amadeus" is my favorite song right now.
My father hates Falco.
Screw him.
Falco's great.

~ZS-M

]]> *ZomaS-M A Few Little Things... http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/17666329/ http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/17666329/ Thu, 03 Apr 2008 12:02:13 PDT UPDATES

Gargoyle has been doing quite well, and I thank all the readers for your support. It was Chapter XX (20) that sent me spiraling down a drain. But since it was finally finished and uploaded on March 24th, it has been followed by two more successful chapters, and Chapter XXIII (23) is nearly complete.

At the very top of my new To-Do list is finishing Part I: The Human. There isn't much left to it now. So far, it looks like it goes up to Chapter XXX (30). After that, no more new chapters until ALL 30 chapters of Part I have been fully edited. You'll know a chapter has been edited when the roman numeral has been replaced by a normal arabic numeral. So far, only the first two chapters have been edited, but you'll notice that instead of Chapters I and II, they are now Chapters 1 and 2. Ya?

Gargoyle XXII was uploaded a little too soon, so I made a few changes. The only difference is the added emphasis on the chapter's setting. If if you've already read it, feel free to skip over.

UPADTES INCLUDE
~ Complete Oedipus Fanart
~ Gargoyle XXI (Unedited)
~ Gargoyle XXII (Unedited)

Oh, and Livi? I finished memorizing "Ghost of a Rose"

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I've made a tiny list of what should happen in each of the upcoming chapters. If you'd like to see a little description of upcoming chapters (about one sentence's worth), leave a comment saying so! Because I would benefit from that, as it could be considered a method of organization, but I'd only bother if YOU want a taste of what's coming.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

TO-DO LIST

~ Finish Gargoyle Part I: The Human. Part I should end at Chapter XXX (30)
~ Edit Of Death, Dreams, and Devils (All 6 parts)
~ Edit Gargoyle Part I: The Human Chapters 3-30.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

100 LITTLE THINGS
*Taken from Mrs. Jules (SpideyGeek)*

1) Full Name: Ashley Brooke Lafferty

2) Male/Female: Female

3) Were you named after anyone?: Nope.

4) Does your name mean anything?: Ashley comes from the Ash tree, and Brooke comes from the little stream. A simple hippie name, really.

5) Nick Name(s): Brookie.

6) Who do you think you look like?: Of my parents, my father. I look nothing like anyone on my motherÂs side of the family, and my biological father was adopted, so I really donÂt know.

7) Date Of Birth: November 5th.

8) Place of Birth and Current Location: Las Vegas

9) Nationality: Little bit of everything. I say Caucasian on paper.

10) Astrology Sign: Scorpio

11) Chinese Astrology Sign: Snake

12) Religion: Agnostic Unitarian

13) WhatÂs your favorite smell?: Rain

14) Political Position?: I donÂt have a definite position. I like some things and hate others. My close-minded mother made me register as Democrat. I have no problems with religion as long as we donÂt replace the Constitution with it. ThatÂs really it.

15) What do you prefer to drink in the morning?: Cranberry Juice

16) Hair + Eye color: Blonde + Hazel

17) Do you look like anyone famous?: Like Cameron Diaz in The Mask, before she became disgustingly skinny.

18) What do you look like?: ÂNormal? Your typical 18 year old young woman.

19) Any unusual talents?: I sing well; IÂm able to reach really high, like, opera notes. And I never had any real training.

20) Rightly, Lefty, or Ambidextrous?: Rightio.

21) Gay, Straight, Bi, or Other?: Bi, mostly straight.

22) What do you do for a living?: Teach (Not legally yet, but I take charge of a couple of my classes). I have no job and no driverÂs permit, so IÂm a loser.

23) What do you do for fun?: Read and write and watch TV.

24) What are your favorite art materials to work with?: The traditional materials. YÂknow, computer programs, keyboard, mouse

25) What kind of materials would you like to work with? WouldnÂt change from what IÂve got.

26) Have you met your grandparents?: All except my biological fatherÂs parents. Again, he was adopted.

27) Boyfriend / Girlfriend: Oh yeah.

28) Crush: Also yes. No, itÂs not my boyfriend.

29) What celebrity would you date if you could?: Kevin Spacey *Sigh* I saw 21 by the way. Loved it.

30) Current worries?: That IÂll never amount to anything because IÂve waited too long to get a job or a driverÂs permit when all my friends have had that stuff for ages.

31) Favorite online Guy/Girl(s): Our circle here on dA.

3... ]]> *ZomaS-M Updates and Thanks http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/17500830/ http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/17500830/ Mon, 24 Mar 2008 21:37:32 PDT UPDATES

Progress has been much less than slow, especially where Gargoyle is concerned. But I finally have something to show for it!

Poor uncertain little me managed to get distracted by pathetic attempts at art. The result of this is an already submitted Alien fanart and an Oedipus Rex fanart due to be up this week. Because Gargoyle is being difficult for absolutely no reason. I guess Jonathan convinced the entire cast of characters to rebel against me. So my brain has been rather...well you get the idea. I'm also working on a South Park Meme.

Updates include:
~ Gargoyle Chapter XX (Unedited)
~ "My Other Mother", an Alien fanart

See how much I've gotten done in the last several weeks? Hahaha...*SOB*

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

MANY THANKS TO OUR BELOVED SPIGEYGEEK!!!

Everybody's best friend on this website is completely uniting our little literary circle by issuing out the "Great Novelists on deviantArt" articles. Thusfar, two articles have been written, bringing nine fantastic writers out into the spotlight (not counting myself, cos that would be vain. And NO, I don't think that song is about me

).

Do check out the gracious ads, and be sure to give Mrs. Jules all the love she deserves.Tell her her tattoo rocks your world too. Cos it should. It's kickass.

Great Novelists V. 1: [link]
Great Novelists V. 2: [link]

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

TO DO LIST:
1: Finish Oedipus Rex fanart, getting all of this art nonsense out of my system!
2: Write Gargoyle Chapter XXI
3: Edit Gargoyle Chapter III
4: Finalize plans for the remaining chapters of Gargoyle Part I: The Human
5: Edit Of Death, Dreams, and Devils, one part at a time until I have all 6 parts done.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

READING LIST:

1: The various works by SpideyGeek ([link]) and peterdawes ([link])
2: "jon.com" by denlm ([link])
3: "Into the Moonlight" by twilight-apple ([link])
4: "999 New World Order" by Mithgariel & anubishoarmurath ([link])
5: "Xyklan" by darmoon87 ([link])
6: The various works by Epriokko ([link])
7: "Written in Blood" by Tyanite ([link])
8: The various works by OneItalianFlower ([link])
9: The various works by slightly-mental ([link])

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Thanks for putting up with my neverending nonsense!
~ZS-M

]]> *ZomaS-M Updates, A Welcome, and Movie Meme Answers http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/17201439/ http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/17201439/ Wed, 05 Mar 2008 19:58:50 PST UPDATES

You may remember the plan summary for Gargoyle in my last journal, talking about how I'm editing old chapters while writing out the spine for future chapters.

Today's Updates for Gargoyle include:
~ A Revised Premise
~ A Revised Chapter 1
~ A Revised Chapter 2

Each of these edited pages has links to the previous and next chapter for the reader's convenience/ Neat, huh?

With m vision for Chapter 2 finally up for your consideration, I can turn to writing Chapter XX. I expect it to be up by Sunday, since I've scrapped what I'd already written (or like the seventh time) and need to rewrite the whole chapter.

On a FUN note, my lovely Craig-quoting buddy Rebekkapi ([link] ) tagged me with a South Park Meme that I have every intention if doing. IÂm not sure when thatÂll be up, though. Give or take a week.

HereÂs her version of the South Park meme, if you wanna see it before I make my own butchered attempt: [link]

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A WELCOME

Fond greetings to StefanGray! ( [link] ) This pal from my Creative Writing class recently submitted his first deviations. He's a writer and a fantastic poet. Yes, I know, I'm a bad poet who can't fairly judge. But the rest of you ought to give him a chance.

Cheers to hoping the guy can find his feet in our warm community!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

MOVIE MEME ANSWERS
Bold answers were correctly guessed by the user beneath it.

1: ÂOnly after disaster can we be resurrected.Â OR, since thatÂs fairly difficult ÂHey, you created me. I didn't create some loser alter-ego to make myself feel better. Take some responsibility!Â
~ denlm ([link] ) correctly said "Fight Club" cos she rocks.

2: ÂRemember those posters that said, "Today is the first day of the rest of your life"? Well, that's true of every day but one - the day you die.Â
~ "American Beauty" you not-Kevin-Spacey-loving losers!

3: ÂIf you kill him, He wins.Â OR ÂIt seems that envy is my sin.Â
~ twilight-apple ([link] ) correctly said "Se7en". She has my approval as a partial Kevin Spacey fan, maybe. She got it before Mrs. Jules, anyway. Go her.

4: ÂWho died and made you fucking king of the zombies?Â
~ "Shaun of the Dead" is the best funny/scary PARODY ever.

5: ÂI made a new friend today.Â ÂReal or imaginary?Â ÂÂImaginary.Â
~ Remember Jake Gyllenhaal? Remember him at age, like, 19? This is "Donnie Darko".

6: ÂWe'd better get back, 'cause it'll be dark soon, and they mostly come at night... mostly.Â
~ denlm ([link] ) again correctly said "Aliens". Sout Park fans will laugh too. But denlm rocks, as already mentioned.

7: ÂThe last four days on Earth. If I had a dick, I'd go get laid. But we can do that next best thing.Â ÂWhatÂs that?Â ÂKill people.Â *Woman beside them spits out her coffee* ÂOh, not you.Â
~ twilight-apple ([link] ) again correctly guessed "Dogma", the smartest comedy I've ever seen.

8: ÂI will raise these orphans as if they were actually wanted!Â
~ IÂm not sure what made me think somebody would get ÂA Series of Unfortunate EventsÂ, but it is a movie I can watch OVBER and OVER again.

9: ÂI want to play a gameÂ
~ Darling darmoon87 ([link] ) correctly said this quote came from ÂSawÂ. w00t!

10: ÂDoes this look "inanimate" to you, punk? If I can move and I can talk, who's to say I can't do anything I want?Â
~ A song from this movie, ÂLittle Shop of HorrorsÂ, also came up on my iTunes meme a while back. You canÂt REALLY be my friend if you donÂt recognize Little Shop of Horrors.

Zoma out!

]]> *ZomaS-M Plans and Whatnot http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/17171848/ http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/17171848/ Mon, 03 Mar 2008 20:38:57 PST
BUT HERE'S THE HEADS UP
~ Part I has only a few chapters left. They ARE my priority.
~ Once I have the structure for Part I finished, I'll be going through past chapters and editing them...a lot. My watchers will be alerted, but may ignore it if they so choose. You'll also know a chapter has been edited when the roman numeral is replaced by our own normal numbers. So far, only Chapter 1 (1, not "I") has undergone this transformation. So it's up for your final stage of consideration. THIS is the time for the down and dirty. Note that the story will not change at all - the chapters that have already been out up are the backbone, but it's no secret that they need work. So I'll be taking all of views into thought in the final edits.

In the meantime, read the unedited chapters for fun or something. If you're dying to know what happens next or whatever. I promise to have the next chapter up VERY soon.

*~*~*~*~*~*

QUIZ
Movie Quote Meme from

The Rules:
1. Pick 10 of your favorite movies.
2. Go to IMDb and find a quote from each movie.
3. Post them here for everyone to guess.
4. Italicize and bold when someone guesses correctly, and put who guessed it and the movie.
5. Looking them up (and then posting your answers) is, of course, cheating.

1: ÂOnly after disaster can we be resurrected.Â OR, since thatÂs fairly difficult ÂHey, you created me. I didn't create some loser alter-ego to make myself feel better. Take some responsibility!Â

2: ÂRemember those posters that said, "Today is the first day of the rest of your life"? Well, that's true of every day but one - the day you die.Â

3: ÂIf you kill him, He wins.Â OR ÂIt seems that envy is my sin.Â

4: Â Who died and made you fucking king of the zombies?Â

5: ÂI made a new friend today.Â ÂReal or imaginary?Â ÂÂImaginary.Â

6: ÂWe'd better get back, 'cause it'll be dark soon, and they mostly come at night... mostly.Â

7: ÂThe last four days on Earth. If I had a dick, I'd go get laid. But we can do that next best thing.Â ÂWhatÂs that?Â ÂKill people.Â *Woman beside them spits out her coffee* ÂOh, not you.Â

8: ÂI will raise these orphans as if they were actually wanted!Â

9: ÂI want to play a gameÂ

10: ÂDoes this look "inanimate" to you, punk? If I can move and I can talk, who's to say I can't do anything I want?Â

Have fun.

]]> *ZomaS-M High + Goth Quiz? http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/17149044/ http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/17149044/ Sun, 02 Mar 2008 12:43:11 PST
*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I'm in a Kevin Spacey induced high today and I can't explain how or why. What can I say? The man's inspiring! And sexy!

Nobody understands my love for him. "He's gay and older than your parents, Brooke! How does that even work!?"

They forget that Lolita is my favorite book. But I have no clue how to fix the homosexuality thing in my favor.

My beloved friend Jackie gave me a picture of Kevin Spacey's star. It's now on my night stand.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Speaking of Jackie ([link]), yesterday we hung out at the Excalibur Casino for her 18th birthday! W00t! We had lots of luck in the arcade. The dinner show Tournament of Kings was awesome cos we were on the EVIL side of the dragon and Jonathan was EXTREMELY happy about that. I took home a stuffed dog named Thaddy, and two pegasus, a red one named Dante and a green one named Virgil (I'm reading the Divine Comedy this weekend for school). I won Jackei a pig purple unicorn that's almost as big as her torso.

Anyway, the whole thing was awesome.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*
RANDOM QUIZ!

How goth are you?
Check off all that apply then multiply your score!

[ ] You hate the world.
[X] You hate society
[X] You think vampires are cool
[ ] You write poetry
[ ] You have colored your hair black
[X] You wear black/blue eyeliner.
[ ] You write poetry that's not for school
[X] You are freakishly obsessed with darkness
[ ] You think love is a waste of time
[ ] You've given up on the world.

Total = 4

[X] You've shopped at Hot Topic
[X] You've spent over $100 at Hot Topic.
[ ] You wear more bracelets than a Russian Choker Spikes.
[X] You own a dog collar, that's not for your dog.
[X] You're extremely pale.
[ ] You are a member of a poetry site.
[ ] Your screen name has been an oxymoron.
[X] You are an atheist or agnostic.
[ ] You don't believe in god.
[ ] Your screen name has/had X's in it.

Total = 5

[X] You have been referred to as scary
[X] You have been referred to as demented
[X] You have been referred to as weird.
[ ] You have been known to hate teachers
[X] You have been known to cause trouble
[ ] Your hair has been dyed a color that was not natural.
[ ]You have at least one photoshopped picture on myspace.
[ ] You think pictures look better in greyscale or sepia tone
[ ] You are scared of yourself sometimes

Total = 4

[X] Suicide has crossed your mind.
[X] You have screamed before
[X] You use big words that no one has ever heard before on occasion.
[X] You've seen The Exorcist
[ ] You liked The Exorcist
[X] You've seen Saw
[X] You liked Saw
[X] You've done voodoo. (Does "Catscratches" count?)
[X] You hate sports.
[ ]You dress up as the most morbid thing possible on Halloween.

Total = 8

[ ] Halloween is one of your favorite holidays.
[X] You have an obsession with fire
[X] You have only a couple of actual friends.
[X] You're not afraid of spiders.
[X] You have had a conversation about how you want to die.
[X] You've painted your nails black

Total = 5

[ ] One or more of your myspace pics had writing on them.
[ ] You have had the word "...." in your display name.
[X] You love art.
[X] You like art with negative meanings

Total= 2

Multiply your total (28) by 2.
Grand total: 56%

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Peace out, fools.
~ZS-M

]]> *ZomaS-M How should this work again? http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/16998180/ http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/16998180/ Thu, 21 Feb 2008 18:17:02 PST
In preparing to actually get something DONE, I learned that my Creative Writing class is actually going to keep me busy. This isn't so bad, really, considering that the only thing I'm working on in that class is Gargoyle. But don't misunderstand me; I'm still writing nothing knew, despite all the ready plans for future chapters. No, what I'm turning in is the final edit of Gargoyle, one page at a time. I'll be uploading those edits, but I don't think you'll actually need any notification of this.

Meanwhile I'm ona complete guilt trip because I skipped school in favor of bed to finally kick this cold I've had. I realized this afternoon that I missed really important stuff in several classes. I cleared the depression by watching Harry Potter 5 and, yes, accomplishing nothing.

BUT FEAR NOT! I'm finally here. Tired, but here. I'm dealing with the lack of Coke by listening to the Vitamin String Quartet, who I highly reccomend btw.

SO!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

TO DO LIST:
1: Put together my own To-Do List
2: Edit GARGOYLE Chapter 1
3: Finalize plans for GARGOYLE Chapters 20-25
4: Finish writing Chapter 20
5: Edit GARGOYLE Chapter II
6: Start the story of my life (Title undecided)

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

READING LIST:

1: The various works by SpideyGeek ([link]) and peterdawes ([link])
2: "jon.com" by denlm ([link])
3: "Into the Moonlight" by twilight-apple ([link])
4: "999 New World Order" by Mithgariel & anubishoarmurath ([link])
5: "Xyklan" by darmoon87 ([link])
6: The various works by Epriokko ([link])
7: "Written in Blood" by Tyanite ([link])
8: The various works by OneItalianFlower ([link])
9: The various works by slightly-mental ([link])

And many more...

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I don't know what else I can do for myself other than organize, cleanse, and purify. I'll be trying my best, so forgive me for the apparent lack of dedicatio.

If it makes Gargoyle fans feel any better about me not putting new chapters up, Jonathan has been kicking and screaming in my head for ages. It's actually keeping me up at night.

]]> *ZomaS-M What Sucks about the Now (Music Answers too) http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/16973276/ http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/16973276/ Wed, 20 Feb 2008 07:25:33 PST
A few journals back I mentioned that I had talked with others about my life. Since then, for apparently no reason, it's been bothering me and dragging me ino this bottomless pit of apathy.

Whenever I try to write anything, the only thing that comes out without me having to force it out by pulling it's ears is an autobiography of sorts.

So, in an effort to get this off of my chest, I'm turning it into a project. Another short story really, except everything in it is true. And it's not happy.

Obviously I don't have photographic memory, so I have to take some liberties with the dialogue. But unfortunately, most of it does manage to remain glued to my brain, so it'll be easier than it sounds.

I'm not sure how long it will be or when you can expect the first bit. But it will be the next thing I put up.

And when it does come up, I'd appreciate constructive criticism rather than pity. I do this for myself, but was told by a dear friend that it would be an interesting read.

Besides, I love you guys.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

1. It seems this boy bathed in ridicule. Too forward, way too physical. It's time that I had another.
~ "This Boy" by Franz Ferdinand

2. As your bony fingers close around me, long and spindly, death becomes me. Heaven can you see what I see?
~ "Dream On" by Depeche Mode

3. If I wrote you a symphony just to say how much you mean to me, what would you do?
~ "My Love" by Justin Timberlake

4. Why drink the water from my hand, pretentious as you think I am?
~ "December" by Collective Soul

5. Out of sight, out of mind. Out of time to decide. Do we run? Should I hide? For the rest of my life?
~ "30 Minutes" by Tatu

6. I had no choice but to hear you. You stated your case time and again. I thought about it.
~ "Head Over Feet" by Alanis Morrissette

7. Lazy days help me through the hopeless haze but my, oh my. Tragic eyes I canÂt even recognize myself behind. So if the answer is no, can I change your mind?
~ "Change Your Mind" by The Killers

8. Life is bigger. ItÂs bigger than you and you are not me. The lengths that I will go to, the distance in your eyes.
~ "Losing My Religion" by R.E.M. (In the Gargoyle Soundtrack, this serves as Alexander's theme song, along with Coldplay's "White Shadows")

9. Tell me tell me, is life just a playground? Think youÂre the real deal, Honey, and someone will always look out for you? Wake up Baby, youÂre so totally deluded. YouÂll end up old and lonely if you donÂt get a bullet in your head.
~ "Good Luck" by Basement Jaxx

10. SheÂs like heroin, sipping through a little glass. IÂm looking for some help, I need someone to save her ass.
~ "She's like Heroin" by System of a Down

11. You walk on by without a feeling to your stroll. You walk alone. Compromise. It's just another contradiction. You're not alone.
~ "Humane" by Lacuna Coil

12. If you, if you could return, don't let it burn, don't let it fade. I'm sure I'm not being rude, but it's just your attitude. It's tearing me apart. It's ruining everything.
~ "Linger" by The Cranberries

13. The moonlight shines down interstellar beams. And the groove tonight is something more than youve ever seen.
~ "Carry on Dancing" by Savage Garden

14. I hold my breath as this life starts to take its toll. I hide behind a smile as this perfect plan unfolds.
~ "Away From Me" Evanescence

15. IÂm like a cat in heat stuck in a moving car. A scary conversation, shut my eyes, canÂt find the break.
~ "What You Waiting For" Gwen Stefani

16. As he came into the window was a sound of a crescendo. He came into her apartment, he left the bloodstains on the carpet
~ "Smooth Criminal" by Michael Jackson. I'm disappointed that nobody got this. Losers.

17. Why does it feel like night today? Something in here's not right today. Why am I so uptight today? Paranoia's all I got left.
~ "Papercut" by Linkin Park

18. Yo, pretty ladies around the world, got a weird thing to show you so tell all the boys and girls.
~ "Word Up" by Korn

19. I donÂt get you. I canÂt forget what youÂve forgotten. All along IÂve never been so alone.
~ "Don't Cry Out" by Shiny Toy Guns

20. You lie silent there before me. Your tears, they mean nothing to me. The wind howling at the window. The love you never gave, I give to you.
~ "Room of Angels" from Silent Hill (Don't actually know the artist)

21. When I was young it seemed that life was so wonderful. A miracle. Oh, it was beautiful, magica... ]]> *ZomaS-M Life and Music http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/16916160/ http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/16916160/ Sat, 16 Feb 2008 15:18:06 PST
More than half of my iTunes music is instrumental (strange, yes), so went ahead and skipped the ones that came up on the shuffle. If youÂre interested in good instrumental music, for fun or for awesome tunes you canÂt sing to and distract yourself with during work, IÂm probably the person to come to. I also skipped anything in another language.
Some of these are kinda vague too, so I went ahead and cancelled the ones that I know you wouldnÂt get.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Specials:
* 8 and 22 are theme songs IÂve chosen for two characters in Gargoyle. Ask me who.
* Anybody who gets 25 is my best friend for life.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Step 1: Put your iTunes or equivalent on random.
Step 2: Post the first line from the first 25 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing.
Step 3: Bold out the songs when someone guesses the song title correctly.
Step 4: Looking them up on Google or any other search engine is CHEATING!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

1. It seems this boy bathed in ridicule. Too forward, way too physical. It's time that I had another.

2. As your bony fingers close around me, long and spindly, death becomes me. Heaven can you see what I see?

3. If I wrote you a symphony just to say how much you mean to me, what would you do?

4. Why drink the water from my hand, pretentious as you think I am?

5. Out of sight, out of mind. Out of time to decide. Do we run? Should I hide? For the rest of my life?

6. I had no choice but to hear you. You stated your case time and again. I thought about it.

7. Lazy days help me through the hopeless haze but my, oh my. Tragic eyes I canÂt even recognize myself behind. So if the answer is no, can I change your mind?

8. Life is bigger. ItÂs bigger than you and you are not me. The lengths that I will go to, the distance in your eyes.

9. Tell me tell, is life just a playground? Think youÂre the real deal, Honey, and someone will always look out for you? Wake up Baby, youÂre so totally deluded. YouÂll end up old and lonely if you donÂt get a bullet in your head.

10. SheÂs like heroin, sipping through a little glass. IÂm looking for some help, I need someone to save her ass.

11. You walk on by without a feeling to your stroll. You walk alone. Compromise. It's just another contradiction. You're not alone.

12. If you, if you could return, don't let it burn, don't let it fade. I'm sure I'm not being rude, but it's just your attitude. It's tearing me apart. It's ruining everything.

13. The moonlight shines down interstellar beams. And the groove tonight is something more than youve ever seen.

14. I hold my breath as this life starts to take its toll. I hide behind a smile as this perfect plan unfolds.

15. IÂm like a cat in heat stuck in a moving car. A scary conversation, shut my eyes, canÂt find the break.

16. As he came into the window was a sound of a crescendo. He came into her apartment, he left the bloodstains on the carpet

17. Why does it feel like night today? Something in here's not right today. Why am I so uptight today? Paranoia's all I got left.

18. Yo, pretty ladies around the world, got a weird thing to show you so tell all the boys and girls

19. I donÂt get you. I canÂt forget what youÂve forgotten. All along IÂve never been so alone.

20. You lie silent there before me. Your tears, they mean nothing to me. The wind howling at the window. The love you never gave, I give to you.

21. When I was young it seemed that life was so wonderful. A miracle. Oh, it was beautiful, magical.

22. And I'm not so sure if I'm sure of anything anymore. Well this is the last night that you'll be keepin' secrets from me

23. I close my eyes and I keep seeing things. Rainbow waterfalls. Sunny liquid dreams. Confusion creeps inside me, raining doubt. Got to get to you. But I donÂt know how.

24. You canÂt see my eyes. They donÂt see yours. Hear me when I say they donÂt mind at all.

25. Better wait a minute. Better hold the phone. Better mind your manners. Better change your tone. DonÂt you threaten me son. YouÂve got a lot of gall. We gonna do things my way or we wonÂt do things at all.

]]> *ZomaS-M Suffocation http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/16815729/ http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/16815729/ Sun, 10 Feb 2008 11:30:30 PST
Plus, I can feel the beginnings of depresson tying me up as well, since I decided that I'm a terrible person who is responsible for all the tension in my relationship with my one true love. We're pretty scared. I just feel like something's really wrong with me. Physically, too.

An in-depth discussion about life led me to recounting the story of my life, and it suddenly bothered me more than ever. I've always been able to accept these things, but instead I feel like there's been a cave in on my brain and the people in my life, wanting what's best for me, are hacking away at the rocks with a pickaxe. What they don't understand is how painful that is.

You'd think that since, right now, Gargoyle is all about sick and sad people, this would just put me in the right atmosphere. But no. I've stared at a stupid screen and written stupid words.

My point is I need to time to recover from life. It's too overwhelming right now.

And I'm crying.

]]> *ZomaS-M Character Quiz http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/16754568/ http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/16754568/ Wed, 06 Feb 2008 13:15:34 PST [link] ), whose "Written in Blood" mini-series is extremely delightful, put up a journal with this fun quiz. While nobody was specifically tagged, it seemed like a ton of fun, so I did it for our main characters in Gargoyle. I did it for myself as well.

As far as SPOILERS go, I'll avoid them. But certain characters, Jonathan, for instance, speak in riddles anyway.

Gargoyle's main conflict doesn't come until part two, so that's where we'll place this quiz: ten years from the present.

This was my chance to let these guys loose. So some of these questions turned into real dialogue. Read if you choose. It was really fun to write.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

CHARACTER QUIZ
1.This is a Tag for you and your character(s). You could have just yourself or you characters.
2.Must answer all questions! If you don't want to put "D-W"
(Characters involved)
Minimum: 1
Maximum: 10

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Yo! This is Zoma aka Brooke welcoming you!

1) WhatÂs your age?
ZS-M: 18.
Alex: Forty or so.
Hannah: ...27 now.
Jon: Does it matter? I look fantastic.
Bade: No, it doesn't matter, Sir. *Can't actually remember how old any of them are* >_<
Donny: 18.
Sara. Like, 24.

2) Do you have any parents?
ZS-M: Yep. Many of them.
Jon: Once, MANY years ago.
*Everyone else exchanges awkward looks*

3) Do you have a crush?
ZS-M: Yeah...Unfortunately, my crush and my boyfriend aren't the same person.
Alex: Um...*Avoids looking at Hannah*
Hannah: No.
Jon: -_- Not since she tried to kill me.
Bade: Crushes are demeaning.
Donny: A crush? Obsession is more appropriate.
Sara: *Stares lovingly at Jon*

4) How many friends do you have?
ZS-M: Enough.
Alex: I have a few truly wonderful friends. That's enough for me.
Hannah: I don't like getting that attached to anybody...Seems sort of pointless now.
Jon: *Looking at Hannah* So dreary! Anywho, I have a whole kingdom on my hands. You tell me.
Bade: I have to agree with Alex here.
Donny: I tend to keep to myself nowadays. But I guess I agree with Alex and Bade.
Sara: *Still staring at Jon*

5) What do you like (to do)?
ZS-M: Read and write, of course! I'm trying to get back on track with Tarot, as well.
Alex: I love my new job. Teaching is a great joy of mine.
Hannah: I sort of block everything out when I'm reading. That's a hobby, right?
Jon: *Chuckles but doesn't answer*
Bade: Teaching, training...Fulfilling my duty, really.
Donny: Practicing and training. I excercise a lot, too.
Sara: I do whatever Master Jonathan tells me to do.

6) Who do you hate?
ZS-M: Parents who brainwash and condition their kids so that they never have free will.
Alex: ...Mean...ness? Oh! And milk.
Hannah: I don't really hate or like anything. I'm sort of indifferent all the time.
Jon: Traitors. Traitors. And traitors.
Bade: Pride and ignorance. I come across it several times in one day with young vampires.
Donny: Liars.
Sara: Traitors. Like Master Jonathan said.

7) What is your favorite food?
ZS-M: Bad question. I'm extremely picky.
Alex: I'm rather fond of sushi, myself. Kani especially. Um, kani is the crab. Oh! But the bad thing about sushi is that sometimes it'll come with wasabi wrapped right into it, and that really ruins the whole roll for me...I had a Harry Potter roll once. It was amazing when you took the avocado out of the darn thing. *Could Alex BE any more dorky?*
Hannah: *Shrugs*
Jonathan: Blood and anything even remotely similar to it. Rare steak, for example. One must remain loyal to those timeless vampire policies, after all.
Bade: Water and vegetables.
Donny: It's all about Coke. You know, Cola? I'll put down an entire twelve pack in ahlf a day. It's a good thing I work out...and that I'm broke.
Sara: I'll eat whatever Master Jonathan is willing to share...But Alex did raise me on sushi, once I was Turned.

8) Are you a virgin?
ZS-M: No.
Alex: Rather irrelevent...But you know, things happen sometimes and...*BLUSH* I was a teenager! What do you want from me?
Hannah: *Looks away* No. No I'm not.
Jon: HA!
Bade: I'll be frank with you on this. I've made love before. Never had sex. But I've made love.
Donny: You wander, you meet people, you get down. Simple as that. *Shrug* It's just sex.
Sara: *Sighs happily* Not anymore, no.

9) What kind of movies do you watch?
ZS-M: FIGHT CLUB! I mean....It varies.
Alex: All kinds. It depends on my mood.
Hannah: I don't.
Jon: There are better ways to amuse oneself, I think. But I must admit to being a Tim C... ]]> *ZomaS-M Tagged: Again? http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/16663589/ http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/16663589/ Thu, 31 Jan 2008 17:59:54 PST
Unlike most people, I KNOW what my favorite things are and why they're favorite things. I'll be justifying that here, as well. But since I take the time to really get to know myself I think "Hey, this is no hassle - I'll just put my favorites!"

8 FACTS

1. Post these rules.
2. Each tagged person must post 8 things about themselves on their journal.
3. At the end, you have to choose and tag 8 people and post their icons on the same journal.
4. Go to their pages and send a message saying you tagged them.

1: My favorite Movie is Fight Club.
~ Most people know that my true actor crush is Kevin Spacey (I melt when I see him on screen, no joke), but Edward Norton is so unique and underrated that I crush on him too. So to see him in this magnificent role alongside the awesome Brad Pitt and Helena Bonham Carter in a David Fincher film based on a Chuck Palahniuk novel...Ugh! Too awesome, especially since I like the movie more than the book. I know the script by heart.

2: My Favorite Song is Enjoy the Silence.
~ The original Depeche Mode version is where it's at, but there are several covers I like as well, from Lacuna Coil to Techno remizes. Depeche Mode made for that awesome bit of dialogue between The Monarch and Dr. Girlfriend in that timeless episode of Venture brothers as well.

3: My Favorite Book is "Lolita" by Vladimir Nabokov
~ My boyfriend found a chart that said Lolita was the most popular book among really intelligent college students. Nabokov is a Russian writer, but he's mastered the English language. And he's mentioned in "Don't Stand So Close to Me" by The Police. The story surround Humbert Humbert and his doomed love with the little girl Dolores, whom he calls Lolita, and the murder he commits for her. Dude, seriously, best book ever, if you think you're smart enough to handle all the gorgeous prose.

Now, stray away from that trivial stuff...

4. I hate water.
~ To drink. Hate the flavor and the texture. It's so unhealthy, I know, but I'd prefer carbonation and flavor to a lack of both every time. And because there's quite a few things that have the taste or texture of water, the list of drinks I DO like is very small. Coke is at the top. Oh, and ice sucks, as well, especially when it melts into water and ruins the coke you ordered at Olive Garden >_<

5. All of my pets are named after someone awesome.
~ I have a lot of pets. Two dogs and five cats, and I adore all of their names, many of which I came up with. The first animal that was truly mine to name was loki, a striped kitten who died of illness last january. Then came Eurydice, from the Greek myth about Orpheus's quest to bring his lover to life. Other animals are named Antigone, from the ancient greek tragedy by Sophocles, Sappho, after Ancient Greek's famous lesbian poet, Chloe (We like Greece), and Calpurnia after the final wife of Caesar who supposedly ut his assasination and warned him in vain. Kinsey from the Sue Grafton series, and Dylan, after bob Dylan and Dylan Thomas. My Argentine stepfather named a cat Che, and finally there's Molly, who I hate. She's s snobby cat with no personality except she looks pretty. She came with the name, and it has no meaning.

6. I think Alfred Hitchcock and Stanley Kubrick suck.
~ Yeah, I say it loud and proud. I've seen plenty of their movies, even Kubrick's Lolita, and they have yet to dazzle me. Certainly their direction is NOT as special as people seem to think it is. Different generation, I guess.

7. I was an extremely active member of Gaiaonline for four years. And if gaia did anything great for me, it helped me create Jonathan Sicari.
~ Now that it's been overrun by n00bs and idiots, I'm proud to say I was part of Gaia's first generation, having joined on the first Friday the 13th after Gaia's opening a few months earlier. Since then, I've quit. It got too ridiculous and I began wondering what I was even doing there. Jonathan Sicari, meanwhile, was the result of a really great RP on that site. He used to be nice. Then I made him a vampire >_< And now he's mine.

8. There is not a single doubt in my mind that I have already served my purpose in life.
~ There's a huge story to this, and if you care enough to ask I'll tell you. But it's not happy, so I warn you. Long story short, I believe I was the instrument to one man's awakening to how wonderful his life could be. Unfortunately, as far as my mechanical purpose goes, I failed. But I survived what I was meant to, and I recovered, proving that whatever doesn't kil you only makes you stronger.

I'm not going to tag other people with this. Do it if you want to, and if you do, let me know and I'll have... ]]> *ZomaS-M Tagged: THERE'S the Love! http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/16635359/ http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/16635359/ Tue, 29 Jan 2008 20:20:48 PST [link] ) AND twilight ([link] ) tagged me, and I've always wanted to do this quiz, I'll indulge. And this actually turned out very accurate for me. Even the questions I'd prefer not to answer, like Question 20, were answered by iTunes!

GARGOYLE FANS MAY FIND QUESTION 9 INTERESTING. FOR THE RECORD, MY ZODIAC SAYS THAT 9 IS MY LUCKY NUMBER.

In turn, I tag everybody with free time. Losers with nothing to do. This should keep you busy!

iTUNES MUSIC QUIZ

RULES:
1. Put your itunes, windows media player etc on Shuffle
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS
4. Put any comments in brackets after the song name

1. If someone says "is this okay?" you say
"Feeling This" by Blink 182
(Technically, this means HELL YEAH)
[Place your hand in mine
I'll leave when I wanna]

2. How would you describe yourself?
"The Howling" by Within Temptation
(I'm flattered, really. Cos this is such an...<>evil song...

)
[Too many have fallen
Few still stand tall]

3. What do you look for in a guy/girl?
"Unspoken" by Lacuna Coil
(One of my favorite Lacuna Coil songs ever! And it's perfect, cos what I look for in others has a LOT to do with myself)
[Since I've left you with the wrong
impression while I'm still the same]

4. How do you feel today?
ÂHere It Goes AgainÂ by Ok Go
(ItÂs all true. Nuff said.)
[It starts out easy, something simple, something sleazy, something inching past the edge of the reserve.]

5. What is your life's purpose?
ÂHonestly OkÂ by Dido
(This song reminds me more of who I used to be than who I want to be, cos I accomplished these things alreadyÂSo does my life no longer HAVE purpose?)
[I just want to feel deep in my own world]

6. What is your motto?
ÂLove SongÂ by Sara Barellies
(How cute. ItÂs
so dismissive of love until the end.)
[Babe, I'll walk the seven seas when I believe that
There's a reason to
Write you a love song today]

7. What do your friends think of you?
ÂLeave Out All the RestÂ by Linkin Park
(This must refer to my closest friends EITAK who remember how fucked up things wereÂWith my brother in particular. And apparently, they were scared. And gave good advice. Who I was IS who I am, I suppose…

[I'm strong on the surface
Not all the way through]

8. What do your parents think of you?
ÂEl Capitalismo ForaneoÂ by The Gotan Project
(A Argentine Tango song? Cool. No lyrics, but a very smooth, sophisticated, and dare I say mysterious song?)

9. What do you think about very often?
ÂHonest MistakeÂ by The Bravery
(SO much to say about this song! In a project I aptly named ÂThe Gargoyle SoundtrackÂ, this became the theme-song of Jonathan Sicari. And I think about him a lot, since he really wants back in the story. But, like Jon, I regret nothing. So donÂt look at me that way.)
[Don't look at me that wayÂ]

10. What is 2 + 2?
ÂGolden EyeÂ by Tina Turner
(Ah, the song of the whole villain! How fitting for my chemistry! The villain concept, for me, IS as simple as 2 + 2!)
[See him move through smoke and mirrors
Feel his presence in the crowd]

11. What do you think of your best friend/s?
ÂRUNNERÂS HIGHÂ by the pillows
(From the FLCL Soundtrack? Sure thing! The lyrics below say it all!)
[Dizzy my future
Silly my way]

12. What do you think of the person you like?
ÂCause and EffectÂ by K-Taro Takanimi
(A slow, thoughtful, interesting, and strangely heart-warming instrumental from the Chobits 002 Soundtrack. ThereÂs tuneless dialogue at the beginning from Chi and Hideki that I tried my hardest to translate. Alas, donÂt speak Japanese. But if I know anything about Chobits, it fits.)

13. What is your life story?
ÂSadameÂ by X
(ANOTHER instrumental! How come the important questions are answered with instrumentals? Anyway, this song title translates to Destiny, from the X/1999 soundtrack. Great series, particularly manga-wise. I guess I can take this to mean IÂve found my destiny.)

14. What do you want to be when you grow up?
ÂRadio/VideoÂ by System of a Down
(Either a Talk show host or a junkie! W00t! I do want to talk. Wanna teach.)
[They take... ]]> *ZomaS-M Currents http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/16564464/ http://ZomaS-M.deviantart.com/journal/16564464/ Fri, 25 Jan 2008 10:42:28 PST
*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I've got a couple of projects on my hands right now. Gargoyle is still well under way, and I'm hoping to have Chapter 18 up by Monday.

But there's a small story with what will be coming AFTER that.

My main elective this year is Creative Writing, we had to write short stories, hopefully scary ones.

I was boned. No INSANELY good ideas were coming to mind, and I refused to work on anything for that story until I had an insanely awesome idea (otherwise my pride would've been wounded, since it was the first example of my writing that class had and I wanted to be impressive...Can ya blame me?). Trouble with that was that even the night before it was due, I had no ideas.

I knew the amount of pages had to be between 10-12. I had no idea, no setting, no plot, and certainly no characters. I thought of borrowing someone from Gargoyle, but lucky for them, I didn't want to branch out under such unofficial circumstances (and they were all hiding, since Flynny had recently made his way into my brain and was terrorizing everybody. Funny story to that, actually - Jonathan wasn't pleased).

So I did what any natural writer would do.

Wing it!

By dawn I had the worst story ever written. The three characters were not nearly as well thought-out as I would've liked them to be (they're all quite nice, really.) The maximum page count was 12, and I had 18, since I couldn't force myself to create TOO much crap. I had to elaborate on my histories, the symbolism, and the little characterization I had. And by the time page 12 had come, I realized I simply couldn't finish it in so few pages. I figured I would fail the assignment anyway, since it blew dogs for quarters (SUCKED!). I printed out the piece of shit, stapled it all together (Note to self: 18 peages takes a lot of staples), and turned it in with a grimace and a post it that said "I promise I'm betterthan this".

My point is, I got that story back last week. I was the last person toget it, and Mrs. Kubanda decided she wanted to talk to me about it privately.

She sat down with me, and I immediately apologized for it. "I'm sorry you had to read 18 pages of crap - I really am-"

She interrupted me and pointed to a note she had made at the bottom of the title page:

"GET IT PUBLISHED"

"Brooke" she said. "Your story may have been longer than it was supposed to be, but it was the ONLY one that kept me turning the page."

She made other complimentary notes, but I didn't see them. I was too shell-shocked.

The problem with Mrs. Kubanda is that I had already established her as the worst Creative Writing teacher ever. She was sloppy and all over the place, throwing random assignment our way and talking all the time about how we SHOULD write instead of letting us develop our own style. I wasn't too worried, cos I'd been writing for years and knew I didn't need to really develop anything. But she was still a bad teacher.

So was this story actually good, or was this a sign that Mrs. Kubanda was REALLY REALLY stupid?

I couldn't ignore the flatering note, no matter how insane it's speaker. So I bragged a little. The real kick in the face came when my mom asked "Can you go get it for me? I want to read it."

Shell-shock again. In all the years I've been writing, my mother has NEVER asked to read my work, and I don't volunteer. But I didn't see any harm in it. My mother spends most of time reading great works of literature, always makes good reccomendations, and writes awesome poetry. I could trust her. I gave her the short-story.

An hour later she comes in my room, drops it on my desk and says "I had no idea you could write this well."

I said "Thanks Mom."

So, long story short, I've decided to give the piece of dirt more credit - everybody else really liked it! So why not give it a chance and fine-tune it?

It's called "Of Death, Dreams, and Devils" and it's coming to a gallery near you!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Guess what? I've been inspired yet again by those lovely Xenomorph Aliens and am working on a picture that I plan to take to the next level. I just started doodling on a line loose-leaf paper, and thought "Wow, this is turning out pretty damn well." So I took it home and tranced it onto a clean sheet of actual drawing paper.

It's gonna be SWEET! Be sure to check it out when it comes your way!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Mrs. Jules!

I got my copy of her second book in the mail today. She's the sweetest, I swear! But that book is going to be keeping me just as busy as everything else, so "bra... ]]> *ZomaS-M