http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:acomplexedstory&section=today deviantART RSS for by:acomplexedstory en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Mon, 21 Dec 2009 10:54:58 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/27395841/ http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/27395841/ Thu, 24 Sep 2009 16:30:25 PDT i'm bored

I wanted to update my journal so here you go.

I'm a senior

I have to get a 4.0 to get priorities left and right.

Have to learn chinese... lol jk

school school school
pictures pictures school
sleep sleep wake shower school
WEEKEND Sleep Sleep Sleep
wake lazy sleep school
pictures martial arts
pictures
die

ha MY AGENDA basically

]]> ~acomplexedstory http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/25661733/ http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/25661733/ Tue, 30 Jun 2009 21:57:36 PDT Well that place for me is music.
And that someone is Nic.
My love.
But you guys already knew that.
Sometimes I just want to sing to him, make up a song about how much I love him, but I try and I can never find the Perfect not even normal words that could tell him that.
I can tell you guys he has been in my dreams ever since I met him.
So I can truly say I love him conscious or in my subconscious.
LOL.
Even if he wasn't the main character in my dream.
He was there being himself.
It's so funny I always am worried that he would cheat on me and I can't understand why.
I mean he hasn't and I know he won't
maybe it's just a female thing XD.
I can't think of being without him. Which is probably selfish, because I don't want him to feel obligated to stay with me if he doesn't feel it anymore. But I find myself almost trying to find other guy's attractive, and it never happens.
Because he has altered my thinking, the way I live to a point where I don't even desire to like any other guy or to find them attractive in a sexual way.
I may not even have lived long enough to KNOW or EXPIERIENCE true love that last's forever.
But how many people have said they were truly in "love" and been divorced or end up hating each other's guts?
I think when you truly loves someone you can't put words to it, you can't exactly say why you love them but you remember stuff they have done with them, or you remember characteristics about them EXAMPLE:he's so nice, he always opens doors for me
Whatever, but it's not just :money: or :nice personality:
The list goes on and on and on and on.
And i'm not saying that's the case with everyone.
I just feel so in love with him.
i'm absolutely intoxicated with his warm hugs and kisses.
There trance-starting and wonderful and special.
Each one.
Different.
But meaningful!
He's so different from me and yet I find myself always smiling and laughing and absolutely in a trance/spaced-off/love spell
that's amazing
:]
I wish everyone could feel this way.
It's like ecstasy.
I always want to be surrounded by him.
I sadly cannot even sleep when I don't call him and say goodnight, or hear him before I go to sleep.
Which I think is just a bit selfish because he can't always do that.
But it's me.


Maybe people will understand this ,
maybe they will think
it won't last.
But whatever the case,
Whatever you opinion is
I'm right and you can't influence me to believe you because your not the one expieriencing it.
Your not the one who slept on a roof with him while it was raining
and had sex with him that same night and then fell asleep in his arms.
Whispering I love you, and having the greateset sleep ever.
And then he walks you all the way home because he loves you.
at 7:00 am
And your not the one who made him a wooden heart with your name in it for his b-day.
And he loved it, he said it was the best present ever
:] which in turn makes me happy.
And your not the one who was nuzzled up with him under the stars watching them and talking. And then a shooting star passes. My 1st shooting star
:]
Your not the one who walked with him on the beach at night and raced along the shore line and played tag and almost got thrown in the freezing water but instead I was gently placed on the sand and kissed passionatly. <3
But i can honestly say I want to spend the rest of my life with him.
But if you care to "prove" me wrong.
try me.
I'll be waiting
xoxox
[ Kat ]

that's my online name
because perverts are scary
:]
meow

]]> ~acomplexedstory http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/25058561/ http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/25058561/ Sun, 31 May 2009 19:48:00 PDT
and everything in life is perfect
Humans are perfect
were just in denial



]]> ~acomplexedstory http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/25011026/ http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/25011026/ Fri, 29 May 2009 07:46:23 PDT i'm feeling slightly betrayed...
well now you may be asking yourself WHAT you do now
you never lie to me again
especially when I'm right behind you
listening to your scheme.
I can't..I CANNOT believe you
I really thought ALL those times when you made up excuses for me not hanging with you
were real
BUT i think there not..
I truly know who you like better
and thats just great
because I WAS your best friend
But now I really don't know where I stand in your life

before him after her
after them or maybe not at all
that's ok
I get it now

]]> ~acomplexedstory http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/24076446/ http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/24076446/ Sun, 05 Apr 2009 13:34:19 PDT
so here it goes

1. My number one petpeeve is when I ask people to use there phone and they say "why dont you use the payphone"?....and in my head im like " if i had money for the payphone would I be asking you??
2. I am in complete love with my boyfriend <3 FEB 25,2008 <3
3. I like mindgames especially the escape games, or the point and click games.
4. My best girl friend is
5. I love MUSIC [ DIR EN GREY at the moment]
6. My favorite color is orange
7. My favorite animals are bats, armadillos, and snails <3
8. I love the moon and the stars.
9. I HATE when people are dissapointed in me
10. I like creating and doing stuff with my hands
(painting, balloon dart thing, sculpting, drawing)

]]> ~acomplexedstory http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/23836521/ http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/23836521/ Sun, 22 Mar 2009 17:19:11 PDT but anyways another probable rant.
ok you know what I don't like on DA
when people take snapshots
even when there is models in them
there so boring
it's like o..kkkkk
boring expression
seen it a million times.
But modeling is about experimenting
and doing different things
not oh look at this model i think i'll copy the EXACT same expression but maybe a different background.
AND i don't like it when people upload
pictures and there like it's SO UGLY
and you feel bad so your like NO it's not...even if it is
WHY did you upload it?
OR if the drawing is terrible
and some people are like it's PERFECTLY AMAZING PUDDIN'!!!!
And if all of there stuff is bad
and there clearly not getting better
why?
WHY compliment soemthing that sucks??
Even if it hurts them it's better for them
because what if everyone on DA is really nice and is like THATS SO GREAT
and they apply for a job as a artist
and get rejected BY every single job they apply to.
So they would have to deal withj the feact that their art sucks but that you lied to them.
So if someone says your art sucks take it as a compliment
or ignore it
if you think your really great
GO ahead.
SUBMIT
SUBMIT
SUBMIT
but you can't get offended when someone says your art sucks
it's part of life
deal with it.
If your going to go for something (modeling, drawing,art,photography)
your going to get critisized, because not everyone has the same view or EYE that you do.
College will suck if your teacher hates your work.
But you have to fit to your mold.
Even if you get kicked out, so what
this is what you love to do.
YOU dont need her.
FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS!!!!
*ay*

]]> ~acomplexedstory http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/23672209/ http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/23672209/ Fri, 13 Mar 2009 07:28:04 PDT
Ok well i had plans with her and i cancelled plans with my boyfriend to be with her, so he left off to his friends house for two days and ONLY because i thought i would be at her house, for two days ....I said i wouldn't see him for two days.
So i have no way to reach him.
But that was cool because I was going to hang out with her.
But I get to school all excited because I thought I was going to hang out with her, but she gives me a thumbs down and I was like WHY NOT???!!!
and she pointed at her guy best friend and that made me SO mad.....
Not even the fact that she is hanging out with him but the fact WE made plans and she CANCELLED them without my consent.
And now I'm not going to do anything for two days except CLEAN, CLEAN,CLEAN.
And it's not the first time BECAUSE SHE ALWAYS PICKS HER BETTER FRIENDS OVER ME.
I WAS AT HER HOUSE ONE DAY AND I WAS GOING TO ASK HER WHAT WE WERE PLANNING ON DOING NEXT
AND SHE SAID HER FRIEND CALLED AND THAT I HAD TO LEAVE.....FOR HER TO GO TO THE MUSEUM...WTF????
I WAS HANGING OUT WITH HER AND HER BETTER FRIEND CALLED BECAUSE HE CAN FINALLY HANG OUT AND NOW IM NOT THAT IMPORTANT...SO SHE CANCELS ME BASICALLY.
I MEAN IT'S NOT LIKE SHE NEEDS to see him...it's not like he has cancer and is going to die without seeing her.
I mean i even HAD a fucking time limit so not only was i leaving I was fucking RUSHED.
It doesn't make me mad because we do spend alot of time together but what gets me mad is she has spent three whole days with him and instead of doing what she does to me to him because SHE has been with him for three days, she spends even more time.
So that just hurts me.
I guess i'm just not a good friend at all.

]]> ~acomplexedstory http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/22071389/ http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/22071389/ Fri, 19 Dec 2008 17:04:54 PST I will be strong when there is no strength left in me. I will not cry when anything is sad, instead I will smile.
When I'm having an argument with someone and were outside at night,I usually look up at the moon as if it I was looking to it to help me.
I look until my anger is gone and my frustrations wither away, and then I stop and turn to hug whoever I was fighting with.Even if it wasn't my fault I say that I'm sorry and I tell the person what they mean to me.
Why should I waste my time arguing when I should be loving, I don't want to spread hate.
And that is why I don't hate my parents or rally anybody. Because If i spent my whole life never talking to my parents because they were "stupid"
nothing would be solved, I wouldn't be taking a risk, I wouldn't be different.I would be the same as people who hate.I physically and emotionally can't hate anybody.I don't want anyone to have a reason to hate me.I want to meet people,every type of person.And I don't want to waste a second.

it cannot be explained in one word
it can not be told in one day
and I can't forget it for one moment.
Everything I'm not is because of my story
Everything I am is because I choose to be different.
I am different in every aspect of the word.
different from statistics,ratios,percentages.
I am me.
You can't really fit me into any category
jock,"emo",scene,punk.
Because i'm not.
I put the title like that because those things are different.
anyways, just a little info on me.

]]> ~acomplexedstory http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/21870346/ http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/21870346/ Sun, 07 Dec 2008 17:55:34 PST I don't know exactly why but I feel symmetrical..
I just saw twilight
hoping to hate it.
but I very much enjoyed it.
anyways today I and went to the torrey pines beach
and we were literally combing the beach for shells and rocks.
we went SO far
and we watched the sunset
it was so amazing.
and ummm.....I took pictures
and yeah.....
thats it.

]]> ~acomplexedstory http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/20609608/ http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/20609608/ Sun, 21 Sep 2008 20:37:21 PDT many people tell me I can't have it..
because I'm too young...or too naive
or plainly because I'm a hormonal teenage girl
AND I have realized something..

it isn't a feeling..

it's when you look in his eyes
and you know he loves you
and he looks in yours and they tell him the same...

you just know it..

when he holds your hand
you know it..

when he kisses you
you know it....

when he laughs at your corny ass jokes
you know it...


when he smiles ONLY because you are
you know it......

when he holds you
you know it....

and most importantly when he says he loves you
you know it

it is sorta funny
because I look at him when he says it
AND i can see how much emotion he puts into those three words
and they are seriously the most beautiful three words I have ever heard in my entire life...

thankyou nic
for being there
for caring about me
for being everything
a boyfriend
a lover
my best friend....
someone i can fully rely on
you love me
truly
and honestly
and that is so hard to find
i love you..more than anything
your so great and wonderful and amazing
I'd be so lost without you
and I'm so glad we found each other...<3

Nic + Brandy = <3 April 25,2008 <3

]]> ~acomplexedstory http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/20496227/ http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/20496227/ Sun, 14 Sep 2008 19:50:58 PDT


























]]> ~acomplexedstory http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/20118350/ http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/20118350/ Sat, 23 Aug 2008 18:34:32 PDT but it is our responsibility to make a memorable beginning and end...


i dunno i could spruce it up with words later..but for right now..
i love it


and i love you..see------>

whahahaha my pedo bear army will get you
....wherever you are..they wil find you...









http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/20024888/ Mon, 18 Aug 2008 14:55:55 PDT we as freind or enemies
can build them or break them.......

i just made that up


holy crap...it sounds good


please noone steal!~

]]> ~acomplexedstory http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/20024126/ http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/20024126/ Mon, 18 Aug 2008 14:10:30 PDT
learn the song thats in

their heart and sing it

to them when they have forgotten

<33333





:happyface:

]]> ~acomplexedstory http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/19865922/ http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/19865922/ Sat, 09 Aug 2008 17:00:53 PDT
even george clooney was sad
he said" the world just got a little less funny"

why he was only 50
and he died of pheunmonia not od....
why must the funny die??
he was hilarious....
(

]]> ~acomplexedstory http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/19835086/ http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/19835086/ Thu, 07 Aug 2008 20:55:51 PDT it is a great song!!!!!



You can have me dye my pale skin You can beat me, I'll love you while I bruise You can take me, drug my chapped lips You can hurt me, I'll love you while I trip
But do you think of her - hands on my waist? And do you think of me when she screams your name?

Don't want you to drug me up, it all just hurts too much Don't want you to drug me up, your torture was meant to be love

Do you want it? 'Cause when you f*ck me You are loving me and I am owning you Do you hate me? Want to teach me that my place with you Is lying on my knees?

But do you think of her - hands on my waist? And do you think of me when she screams your name?

Don't want you to drug me up, it all just hurts too much Don't want you to drug me up, your torture was meant to be love

We can have a pretty house We can have a pretty car We can have pretty things I know that's what you are

Don't want you to drug me up, it all just hurts too much Don't want you to drug me up, your torture was meant to be love Don't want you to drug me up, it all just hurts too much Don't want you to drug me up, your torture was meant to be love

]]> ~acomplexedstory http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/19416152/ http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/19416152/ Tue, 15 Jul 2008 19:28:23 PDT arabic:انا احب NIC
bulgarian:аз обичам Ник
chinese(simplified)(one of my favorites):我爱的NIC
chinese(traditional):我愛的NIC
croation:i ljubav Nic
czech:i love nic
danish:jeg elsker etnisk
dutch:i love Nic
english: i love nic
finnish:i love Nic
french:i love nic
german:i love nic
greek:i αγάπη κάρτα NIC
hindi:i प्रेम एनआईसी
italian:i love nic
japanese:愛しのNIC
korean:사랑 네트워크 카드
norwegian:jeg elsker Nic
polish:i love nic
portugese:i love nic
romanian:i love nic
russian:я люблю nic
spanish:i love nic
swedish:i love nic

]]> ~acomplexedstory http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/19343336/ http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/19343336/ Fri, 11 Jul 2008 20:30:46 PDT you let people in to your heart for a reason...i'm not entirely sure why..but i know it is because everyone has something in common but the greatest thing we have in common is love
for one another...
leave people better off then when you find them is my motto...


i don't really know what inspired me to write this but im not done YET!
there will be more..<333

]]> ~acomplexedstory http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/19338693/ http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/19338693/ Fri, 11 Jul 2008 15:56:23 PDT why now?
you guys are ruining my mood...>
at least random strangers say hi..but
i am happy
i'm in love
i'm in pure bliss
but WHY the HELL aren't YOU?

]]> ~acomplexedstory http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/19230773/ http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/19230773/ Sun, 06 Jul 2008 06:49:21 PDT
Well you done done me and you bet I felt it
I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted
I fell right through the cracks
and now I'm trying to get back
Before the cool done run out
I'll be giving it my bestest
Nothing's going to stop me but divine intervention
I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some

I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm yours

Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love
Listen to the music of the moment maybe sing with me
A la peaceful melodies
It's your God-forsaken right to be loved love loved love love

So I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror
And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer
But my breath fogged up the glass
And so I drew a new face and laughed
I guess what I'm saying is there ain't no better reason
To rid yourself of vanity and just go with the seasons
It's what we aim to do
Our name is our virtue

I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
No need to complicate
Our time is short
It can not wait, I'm yours

Well no no, well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love love
Listen to the music of the moment come and dance with me
A la one big family (2nd time: A la happy family)
It's your God-forsaken right to be loved love love love

I won't hesitate no more
Oh no more no more no more
It's your God-forsaken right to be loved, I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

No I won't hesitate no more, no more
This cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours, I'm your

]]> ~acomplexedstory http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/19222881/ http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/19222881/ Sat, 05 Jul 2008 17:34:22 PDT we don't have to go anywhere special to make a memory
we just need each other
and whenever i am with him...i look at him
not at what he tells me he is or has been in the past..
i love him for him...
i just want him to believe that love has no time or age limit
how can it be..?
that i love him so much
that seeing him upset....makes me sad..but what can i do about it?
i don't want to say the wrong thing....
i don't want to be sad...
because he hates seeing me sad..
but HOW can i be happy
knowing he is not.......


HOW can i be happy knowing the person you love is in pain
he is like my other half...
he is part of me
and i would never want to see myself hurt..
so WHY would i want him to be hurt?



everyone of you can tell me that i am not in love..
because i haven't been with him long enough
or i don't "know" him.......
or time..or whatever
because i know.......
my heart knows...
my mind knows...
my soul knows...
if there is a god...
he knows too...



As an abstract concept love usually refers to a strong, ineffable feeling towards another person.
EVERY defintion of love i have looked up
i know i would do for him or i already feel for him
do you want me to tell you i would die for him?
is that love for you?
because i would...
do you want me to say i trust him with EVERYTHING?
because i already do.....

what do you define as love?
being together longer than a year?
is that love?
this may not be love to other people...
but who's to say it is not?

just what i was really thinking about...
something and someone i truly care for

i never EVER want to see him sad or upset or angry
all i want for him is to be happy..
to have fun.....to experience life
i just wish i could do more for him....

]]> ~acomplexedstory http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/19169087/ http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/19169087/ Wed, 02 Jul 2008 16:11:09 PDT



Saying I love you
Is not the words I want to hear from you
Its not that I want you
Not to say, but if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel
More than words is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldnt have to say that you love me
Cause Id already know

What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldnt make things new
Just by saying I love you

More than words

Now Ive tried to talk to you and make you understand
All you have to do is close your eyes
And just reach out your hands and touch me
Hold me close dont ever let me go
More than words is all I ever needed you to show
Then you wouldnt have to say that you love me
Cause Id already know

What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldnt make things new
Just by saying I love you

More than words

]]> ~acomplexedstory http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/19134234/ http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/19134234/ Mon, 30 Jun 2008 19:21:52 PDT
]]> ~acomplexedstory http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/19134159/ http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/19134159/ Mon, 30 Jun 2008 19:17:07 PDT

Oh, what a beautiful tragedy
Watching a broken love song
Behind my restrains
And oh, just say that you're sorry
for not noticing my devotions
Lost in emotions again

Oh, I'd show you more
than he could if
he showed up at your door
like you want
like you do
Like he's never wanted to

I'm just a blank canvas
carved with crimson red
into something beautiful
you'd prefer insted
I'd like to call myself my creator
If I'd been able to create myself

I have you to blame
for the change
for my blood
pounding in my veins
only for you
like you want, like you do
Like he's never wanted to

You're a broken toy
made of glass so pristine
can I pick up the shards
so you know what I mean?
Please stop crying
I count all the tears falling down
I say your name in silence
You don't wanna hear it right now

Maybe you're right
Maybe you are
Maybe you made a wish
on the right shining star
shining for you
like you want, like you do
Like he's never wanted to

]]> ~acomplexedstory http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/19119483/ http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/19119483/ Mon, 30 Jun 2008 00:24:06 PDT


even through all this i walk even if...i walk alone

]]> ~acomplexedstory http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/18981656/ http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/18981656/ Sun, 22 Jun 2008 11:04:45 PDT well actually i have seen what i thought was a guy in a hood turning his head to look at me with the reddest eyes....so i gained up all my courage because he was right by my door...and i turned on the light...when i did so i could plainly see that it was my black and white dress...but it didn't explain the red eyes...and i went to a play once...for a christmas carol you know the one with ebenezer scrooge and the death guy......well the death guy came out in the audience and he too had red eyes he stopped where i was and he looked at me..i know that is nothing but it was still scary..and it made my heart drop......and the thing is i could feel something breathing heavily on my shoulder.....i have heard "people" call my name and the only person who died in my family was my grandma she hated me.....she was a smoker too......
but i don't see why she would want to "haunt" me or anything.......and when i concentrate hard enough on pictures i can see them move or "breath" in a way....
i'm just weird and everybody i have told this thinks i am crazy and distances themselves from me
i don't want that...that is the last thing i need...i NEED people to be around me if they are not i feel alone and paranoid......thinking every scary movie character is out to get me
and this would all be fine...except it has happened recently too.....i shut my window...locked my door...and in the morning my window was open......and i ALWAYS close my closet ALWAYS.........
i cannot sleep with it open..because clothes dont look like clothes in the dark
so i closed it and feel asleep but then i woke up at like 12:34 and it was open a little bit.....i was like thats wierd but i was half asleep so i didnt really care....
then i woke up again around 3:17 and it was open more and i turned on the light....and closed it again.....i also read other peoples paranormal happenings......
i have never killed anybody.....and nobody in life has died hating me or wanting to kill me
so i dont know what to do.......and when i hear things....
ok my freinds cat clock hasnt worked in a while
and i was reading something and it started working and i was like that is really wierd......and that freaked me out
i don't know if im crazy or somebody hates me
but yeah there ya go.....

]]> ~acomplexedstory http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/18966654/ http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/18966654/ Sat, 21 Jun 2008 12:34:44 PDT why would he let people think there is a hell place for "bad people"
noone deserves that..to be tormented forever?
i have been in 5 seperate religions all are crap they teach you what they "think" is best and they are always changing there opinion.......
everyone is in competiotion with each other
'my god is real' no mine is your's is wrong because of all of these reasons.....
why?
whoever made up religion needs to die!
why do we have so much hate that the only thing that can bring us together or tear us apart is our faith?
we as humans share nothing in common but one thing love and other emotions but love is the strongest..above all
why go through wasting your precious time being what somebody else"god"
wants you to be why should you be punished for commiting a "sin"?
NOONE is perfect
why waste your time saying everyone esle's god is wrong when your "god" is just as wrong as theirs
why?
why should we have to put up with that?
some people don't even have a choice if your born in some country you have to eb that religion or be hated,or shunned by your family?
AND!
if you don't believe in "god"
you go to "hell"?
WHAT THE FUCK kind of world is that?
this is just my opinion
i just say live free....love..and be loved back.....<333
i just hope i got my point out with out offending anybody i don't even want to hear your crap....armageddon?
satan?
wtf?!

i really don't want to offend anybody because all they will tell me is how "god's going to create a new earth where we will love and nothing bad will happen"
i mean seriously things are so bad now..why not now and when?



ugh it makes me so mad that people are so sucked into religion



RELIGION IS MURDER!

]]> ~acomplexedstory http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/18910643/ http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/18910643/ Wed, 18 Jun 2008 11:49:43 PDT i thankyou all for coming back even though there was not alot of interesting stuff>>;
thanks!!!!

]]> ~acomplexedstory http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/18893693/ http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/18893693/ Tue, 17 Jun 2008 13:36:52 PDT yay!!
thankyou all my watchers!!!
for being so supportive and watching me(tt sounded weird)
but anyways this makes me feel accomplished like i am actually goodat something..i love my photos!!!
im glad you like them too..KEEP WATCHING!!!!
~i love nic~
~nic is mine~
~you can't have him~
~HAHAHA!!!!~
LOVE YOU NIC~~~~

]]> ~acomplexedstory http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/18816906/ http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/18816906/ Fri, 13 Jun 2008 09:00:01 PDT how can i help?
i can't do anything.........
if i tried to do anything i would probably make it worse...how can i just sit here while my life spirals down..it's not easy........i'm tied to a chair of uncertainty........what if i know i won't see him tommorow....what if i was waiting for him..... he is a very helpful person and when i have noone to turn to.....no shoulder to lean on or cry on....except his...but if he leaves........i don't know what to do..i don't want to guilt trip him into living if he doesn't want to....like oh i know that if you die i will be lost..i cannot do that to him....that would be unfair to him.....i am behind him on every descion good or bad......every one.....if it's what he wants i am all for it cause i truly do not have the power to stop it......

]]> ~acomplexedstory http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/18720622/ http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/18720622/ Sat, 07 Jun 2008 20:23:38 PDT what if he erased me out of his life and i dont have the power to see them what if my parents fucking die before i get to see them?
what if they are already dead?
i have so many questions that dwell inside..but most important..how did this happen to me?
why me?
i mean i wouldnt want it to have happened to another person that would be terrible at least it happened to me.....i mean i am not gonna kill myself..over that..back to the taken away thing i dont know what i would do without him....everybody tells me if he breaks up with you,you will get over it.....well no i wont you dont know how sad i was when he told me something before we went out..i cried ALOT.anything that reminded me of him or the feeling i get when i am with him..i cried........especially because it meant that, that was just another person that didnt care..or so i thought......well i still followed him around because i thought something would change and it did..
and i cried when he asked me out to and it was the most informal way too...but i didnt care i was soooooooo happy...i cried.....because i knew he was that one person that could make me feel so wonderful.......and he does..and he loves me as i do him..but now that he is leaving i dont know what i will do he said he wants to be with me forever...but now he said something that i dont understand and i am worried...that i might be doing something wrong..i dont ever want to go back to being sad,,putting on a front so people wont see what im feeling.........my hand hurts..so i will write more later......oh yeah lyrices to the song by evanescence




I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just so much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you've left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just so much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that yo... ]]> ~acomplexedstory http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/18357653/ http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/18357653/ Fri, 16 May 2008 20:14:16 PDT


When it rains it pours and opens doors
And floods the floors we thought would always keep us safe and dry
And in the midst of sailing ships we sink our lips into the ones we love
That have to say goodbye

[Chorus:]
And as I float along this ocean
I can feel you like a notion that won't seem to let me go

Cause when I look to the sky something tells me you're here with me
And you make everything alright
And when I feel like I'm lost something tells me you're here with me
And I can always find my way when you are here

[Verse 2]
And every word I didn't say that caught up in some busy day
And every dance on the kitchen floor we didn't have before
And every sunset that we'll miss I'll wrap them all up in a kiss
And pick you up in all of this when I sail away

[Chorus:]
And as I float along this ocean
I can feel you like a notion that I hope will never leave

[Verse 3]
Whether I am up or down or in or out or just plane overhead
Instead it just feels like it is impossible to fly
But with you I can spread my wings
to see me over everything that life may send me
When I am hoping it won't pass me by

And when I feel like there is no one that will ever know me
there you are to show me

Cause when I look to the sky something tells me you're here with me
And you make everything alright
And when I feel like I'm lost something tells me you're here with me
And I can always find my way when you are here [X2]

]]> ~acomplexedstory http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/18356799/ http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/18356799/ Fri, 16 May 2008 19:10:22 PDT >;



Well, I heard there was a secret chord
That David played, and it pleased the Lord
But You don't really care for music, do ya?
Well it goes like this
The fourth, the fifth
The minor fall, and the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Well, your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew ya
And she tied you to her kitchen chair
She broke your throne and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Well Baby, I've been here before
I've seen this room and I've walked this floor
You know, I used to live alone before I knew ya
And I've seen your flag on the marble arch
Our love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Well there was a time when you let me know
What's really going on below
But now you never show that to me, do ya
But remember when I moved in you
And the holy dove was moving too
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah

Hallelujah Hallelujah
Hallelujah Hallelujah

Maybe there’s a God above
But all I've ever learned from love
Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew ya
And It's not a cry that you hear at night
It's not someone who's seen the light
It's a cold and its a broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah...

]]> ~acomplexedstory http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/18278367/ http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/18278367/ Sun, 11 May 2008 18:08:35 PDT i dont know what to do...anymore my heart sank the moment ....that moment you said you hate life again............i am lost......sick of peoples advice and people trying to comfort what i refuse to understand that you need your time and you need to be left alone but thats so hard to do.....but if that's what you want i can try...i just can't seem to find the words to say but i'm not perfect and i make mistakes i'm only human and we all make mistakes......but we forgive each other too.....i just hope you can forgive me..for betraying your trust ...........i just don't think sorry is good enough

]]> ~acomplexedstory http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/18260365/ http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/18260365/ Sat, 10 May 2008 16:29:13 PDT We were strangers, startin out on a journey
Never dreamin' what we'd have to go through
Now here we are, and Im suddenly standin'
At the beginning with you
(Man)
No one told me, I was going to find you
Unexpected what you did to my heart
(both)When I lost hope, you were there to remind me
This is the start

And life is the road
And I wanna keep going
Love is a river and
I wanna keep flowing
Life is a road now and forever a
Wonderful journey.
I'll be there when the world stops turning
I'll be there when the storys through
In the end I wanna be standin'
At the beginning with you.
(girl)
We were strangers on a crazy adventure
(man)
Never dreamin' how our dreams would come true
(both)Now here we stand unafraid of the futeure
At the beginning with you

And life is the road
And I wanna keep going
Love is a river and
I wanna keep flowing
Life is a road now and forever a
Wonderful journey.
I'll be there when the world stops turning
I'll be there when the storys through
In the end I wanna be standin'
At the beginning with you.
(man)
New there was somebody somewhere
Help me alone in the dark
(both)
Now I know my dreams will live on
Ive been waiting too long
Nothings gonna tear us apart.

And life is the road
And I wanna keep going
Love is a river and
I wanna keep flowing
Life is a road now and forever a
Wonderful journey.
I'll be there when the world stops turning
I'll be there when the storys through
In the end I wanna be standin'
At the beginning with you.

life is the road and
I wanna keep going
Love is a river
I wanna keep going on
Starting out on a journey

And life is the road
And I wanna keep going
Love is a river
I wanna keep flowing
In the end I wanna be standin'
At the beginning with you.

]]> ~acomplexedstory http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/18168802/ http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/18168802/ Sun, 04 May 2008 17:06:13 PDT

i'll be your dream
i'll be your wish
i'll be your fantasy
i'll be your hope
i'll be your love
Be everything that you need
i love you more with every breath
truly madly deeply do
I will be strong i will be faithful
cause im counting on a new beginning
a reason for living
a deeper meaning

I want to stand with you on a mountain
I want to bathe with you in the sea
I want to stay like this forever
Until the sky falls down on me




And when the stars are shining brightly
In the velvet sky,
I'll make a wish
send it to heaven
then make you want to cry
The tears of joy
For the pleasure and the certainty
that were surrounded
By the comfort and protection of
The highest powers
in lonely hours
the tears devour you.......

I want to stand with you on a mountain
I want to bathe with you in the sea
I want to stay like this forever
Until the sky fall down on me

Oh..cant you see it too???
You don't have to close your your eyes
Cause it's standing right before you
All that you need will surely come....


I want to stand with you on a mountain
I want to bathe with you in the sea
I want to stay like this forever
Until the sky falls down on me





umm...yeah kelsey mad me watch this yaoi with this song and it was so cute and this song was featured and it made me think of my lover..so i had to write it down...somewhere.....

]]> ~acomplexedstory http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/18152040/ http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/18152040/ Sat, 03 May 2008 16:36:27 PDT look as far in to the distance but i still can see

i cherish the way you hold on to me
i never could say "let me go"
just for one more second
"hold me tight"

its a short poem for my love......im really tired so i was just like ..............write him a love poem but its not much but he already knows words can't express how much he means to me..<333

<3 NIC <3
+
<3 BRANDY <3 = love

]]> ~acomplexedstory http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/18089873/ http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/18089873/ Tue, 29 Apr 2008 16:58:18 PDT ive got a great place to live
i cannot be any happier
im in a utopia right now and for those of you who dont know what that is it means "a perfect place"
i think i never want this feeling to go away

]]> ~acomplexedstory http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/17972596/ http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/17972596/ Tue, 22 Apr 2008 08:37:14 PDT j

]]> ~acomplexedstory http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/17663288/ http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/17663288/ Thu, 03 Apr 2008 07:38:47 PDT
i have to move on my frinds say god put him in my life to make me stronger so........but i just cant get over him because he's making it so hard.....hes soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo..........................sweet and everything but the more i dwell on him the more upset i become so i will stop now..........

]]> ~acomplexedstory http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/16766395/ http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/16766395/ Thu, 07 Feb 2008 08:09:15 PST
]]> ~acomplexedstory http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/16766320/ http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/16766320/ Thu, 07 Feb 2008 08:01:55 PST
]]> ~acomplexedstory http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/16442645/ http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/16442645/ Thu, 17 Jan 2008 07:40:10 PST they all say you'll find another but just once more to be together,
all i know is that your gone forever
my memory fades but my heart won't let you go

]]> ~acomplexedstory http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/16354495/ http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/16354495/ Fri, 11 Jan 2008 08:11:21 PST
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]]> ~acomplexedstory http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/15592314/ http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/15592314/ Tue, 20 Nov 2007 15:27:26 PST .<

]]> ~acomplexedstory http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/15087321/ http://acomplexedstory.deviantart.com/journal/15087321/ Tue, 16 Oct 2007 12:52:16 PDT
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