http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:admael7014&section=today deviantART RSS for by:admael7014 en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Mon, 21 Dec 2009 23:23:16 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/28782603/ http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/28782603/ Sun, 06 Dec 2009 08:58:24 PST , who stole it from someone else and so on...

UXIE
[x] You are quite intelligent.
[x] People don’t like to gaze into your eyes.
[ ] People seem to forget while they’re around you.
[ ] You like the color orange.
[x] You’re usually very calm and polite.
[x] It’s not easy to make you angry.
[x] You don’t have a good sense of humor.
TOTAL: 5

MESPRIT
[ ] You can be very emotional.
[ ] You love to play and be active.
[ ] You can easily cheer someone up.
[ ] You like the color magenta.
[ ] You’re more of a spunky type.
[ ] You act very girly.
[ ] You like to play “hide-and-seek”.
TOTAL: 0

AZELF
[ ] You are usually very determined.
[ ] You’re very swift when running.
[x] You act boyish.
[x] You like the color blue.
[x] Almost anything seems like an easy task.
[ ] You can take hard hits.
[ ] You play a sport.
TOTAL:3

DIALGA
[x] Time seems to pass by slowly for you.
[x] You can be a little rough on people.
[x] You can take hits pretty well.
[ ] Sometimes you may get into fights.
[x] You like to help others occasionally.
[x] You like the color blue.
[x] You are pretty tall.
TOTAL: 6

PALKIA
[ ] You like the color pink.
[ ] You’re interested in space.
[x] You are pretty gentle.
[x] You usually flee from fights.)
[x] You defend yourself when necessary.
[x] You like to be in water.
[ ] Your favorite gem is a pearl.
TOTAL: 4

HEATRAN
[ ] You can be hot-headed.
[x] You like heat or warm weather.
[ ] You can have a horrible temper.
[ ] You dislike water, or being in water.
[x] You can be quite tough on others.
[ ] You’re very interested in volcanoes.
[ ] You like fire, or anything capable of burning something.
TOTAL: 2

REGIGIGAS
[ ] It’s hard to understand you when you’re talking.
[ ] You’re not so quick on your feet.
[x] You have pretty big hands.
[ ] You consider yourself a “normal” person.
[ ] You’re able to crush really hard objects.
[ ] You lead a small group of people.
[x] You like to keep things peaceful.
TOTAL: 2

GIRATINA
[x] You like to stare at your own shadow.
[x] You can be pretty lonesome.
[x] You are usually pretty quiet.
[x] When people get up in your face, you get pretty angry with them.
[x] You only fight when necessary.
[x] You are different compared to those that you know.
[x] You’re not afraid of the dark.
TOTAL: 7

CRESSELIA
[ ] You dislike darkness, or are afraid of it.
[x] You love to have sweet dreams.
[x] You like to cheer people up when a bad dream scares them.
[x] You like to protect people.
[x] You love it when the moon is full, or at least visible.
[x] You’re a pretty calm person.
[ ] You love to stargaze.
TOTAL: 5

MANAPHY
[ ] You love to be in the ocean.
[ ] Sea life interests you.
[ ] You’re very cheerful and playful.
[ ] You can be very childish.
[ ] You’re very close to your parents.
[ ] You love to collect seashells.
[x] You can be easily frightened.
TOTAL: 1

DARKRAI
[ ] Nightmares ARE your sweet dreams.
[x] People consider you to be evil, when you’re not.
[x] You’re usually a loner.
[x] You love to be in the dark.
[x] Your favorite time is nighttime.
[x] You’re actually very gentle and kind.
[x] People fear you.
TOTAL: 6

SHAYMIN
[ ] You love to be surrounded by nature.
[ ] You absolutely hate pollution.
[ ] Green is your favorite color.
[ ] You love flowers, especially pink ones
[x] You like it when people appreciate you.
[ ] Your personality can change in sticky situations.
[ ] Your eyes are green.
TOTAL: 1

ARCEUS
[x] You like to be in charge of things.
[x] When angry, it takes a while to calm down.
[x] You usually feel very mighty and powerful.
[x] You like to help others during hard times.
[x] You’re actually very kind at heart.
[x] You’re pretty strong.
[x] Some people wish to take advantage of you.
TOTAL: 7

Overall 6s and 7s:
Dialga: 6
Giratina: 7
Darkrai: 6
Arceus: 7

.... i have no clue what that even says about myself since I barely know about any more than dialga, but only about the one day i had it before my file got erased.

]]> ~admael7014 http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/28383557/ http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/28383557/ Mon, 23 Nov 2009 22:22:34 PST
I'm sorry I said it in the sense that it made it sound like I was working a lot harder on it than she was. She's been bugging me for the last month to work on the story, to talk about it, to get details about it while I've been gaming, reading, or being distracted in several ways (I can't honestly say she caught me too many times where I was doing something productive, and then she let me finish up or left till i was done). She has accomplished well over ten pages worth of work compared to my one (as a general ratio of work).

She has added a lot to our story in terms of depth and explanations for why certain events happened or why these people are doing this or that. It has helped make the story go from being a typical, "this-could-be-good-or-better", to an "ohmygosh-youshouldreadthis!" (anyone sense a little bit of bragging? I do this from both of us)

One thing I do clarify though, and I will not be shamed into saying otherwise, is that I still claim pride for creating the general storyline concept. I was the one who came up with a lot of the plot, while kax helped me to find reasons for why. I will still point out she was the one who came to me and often at that in an effort to find out the plot and what would happen in it. She came to me often to find out what happens after this event, or that one, and does so after presenting an idea asking "how will this affect what you're going to have happen?" and I am proud of that fact.

So, I'm sorry for making it sound like I was doing more work than she was (especially since lately, ... i correct myself, most of the time she does more work than me), but I will not apologize for laying claims to the concept that I put my effort into and am proud of.

Due to our conflicts this early on regarding several things story-wise, we are negotiating a contract that specifies who gets what and how much.

----
Oops, too late. Kax and I are going to try getting our book onto ebooks and make a bit of money at a time... Any of you who watch me (for some crazy and probably empty reason) I'd really appreciate it if you helped get the word out that our books are getting out. Granted we still have to go through the process of getting it out but hey...

We haven't figured out any pricing, where in the story we're gonna call the first chapter (or chapters), what we'll do in order to accept funding, what artwork we can do to add as bonuses or standalones, or anything like that.

From what we've been talking (and it isn't decided yet), we're gonna sell our first section which gets much of the ball rolling storywise (and yet still leaves you wondering what else is going on) for about 3 bucks each, or three paper bills (mainly of the singles variety) we aren't picky. Granted, we're still trying to figure out how to get payments and whatnot set up because a lot of people prefer using cards/paypal, yet to set up something like that is even more costly than anything else, short of actually publishing...

I will warn you that our first section is technically only about 32 or 33 pages worth (I'm still trying to remove my notes and replacing it with details on what i knew i was forgetting), and $3 can seem like a lot, but keep in mind please that this would actually equate to 50 pages of a normal book (with the whole, larger print and smaller pages deal) and we both are really hurting to take care of basic needs (such as rent for the lease on the house, phone bills), and not to mention the costs of getting us started or our eventual goal of actually printing our own books. yes, hardback covers n all, along with concept design art and whatnot... it'll be really snazzy, and how we'll prove to a publisher that we're worth a lot (or our story, i'm not picky) and they'll have to pay us a lot more out of the profits to cause us to let them publish our book.

One reminder about our books, they are about the same storyline, but will end up being very different! I use this comparison with our books and how they're being designed: think of lord of the rings, and instead of having one book with plenty of scene changes and jumps, one book is dedicated to frodo's adventure and the other is dedicated to aragorn. My side that i'm writing is from an overall point of view, jumping between students and consp- i mean government peoples, and giving the reader a wider point of view. Kaxan's side of the story is going to focus solely on the viewpoint of Vivera, and bring up unique points and plots that only she will touch on. (naturally i may be the mastermind of the plot but she does come up with a couple good things here and there)
~admael7014 http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/27909756/ http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/27909756/ Thu, 22 Oct 2009 16:48:46 PDT
Its gonna be a bit before I can expect to get anything done. Gotta job hunt (after all, just because I have promises of interviews doesn't mean i have a job), help with kax's goats n her family stuff, and then if i have extra time i really have to work on my novel. That's gonna be our project, and we both agree we have to get it done asap... granted not like a rushed novel, it should still be good quality, but we want to get it done and published and whatnot... (hopefully rake in big money... eventually... anyone know how long it took Christopher Paolini's inheritance cycle to take off?)

anyway, I gotta get goin, the library timer's ticking away and I don't know how much time I have left to be able to job hunt and everything.

Till next time!

]]> ~admael7014 http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/27859619/ http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/27859619/ Mon, 19 Oct 2009 17:57:15 PDT
This has got to be the hardest thing i have tried to get myself to do... but honestly it will be a ton better, i know this. With how much I've had to put up with, i can say i'm looking forward to it... I just need to take the hardest step... going out the door. I feel so very much like samwise when he started out with frodo, so hesitant to go further than I've been before... going outside of my comfort zone...

"It's a dangerous business Frodo, going outside your door... you step out onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you'll be swept off to." - Fellowship of the Ring (right around the 37th minute)

Until I get there, to the journey! Catch you all on the other side.

]]> ~admael7014 http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/27660560/ http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/27660560/ Thu, 08 Oct 2009 23:45:18 PDT
I figure I'll be moving out of state, close to where is, there's a lot of reasons why (some of which admittedly is pay... and her). but I won't get into any of the more detailed answers yet.

So, that's what I'm up to. packing up all my belongings, or at least sorting out what I'll take and what I'll leave behind. I'm not leaving a date for when I'm moving, mainly because i'm paranoid a mutual enemy of ours is plainly starting to make moves against us, and considering he doesn't do anything obvious until he's sure he has his target cornered... yeah...

Anyway, Hopefully i'll keep in touch, otherwise i'm too busy preparing for my new place... heck i've already got one place promising an interview when I arrive, and i only just emailed them about their post two days ago! (well, i guess technically 3 but hey, who cares)

A lot of my projects have come to a halt, including my story, my fanfiction, and (most important to this site, since it focuses on art and not literature) two more drawings, this time of anthros due to this preparation. No worries, I'll get there eventually. I will say I have one semi-original pose (kinda merged two poses and added some twists to make it my own) pic of an anthro swordsman, and another who's supposed to be an elementalist user (fire) and its based on Winter wolf by but obviously with fire. Not too thrilled with how its turning out so it may be getting a redo. Still debating if she should get the fire elemental I commissioned to draw for me in high school... ah oh well, its in the works. All that's left is letting my mom know why i want my dad's sword.

To my three people (seems like) who keep track of me on here, "To the road that lies ahead!" *drinks root beer* ... what? kax has first dibs on seeing me drunk first. =3

]]> ~admael7014 http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/27328395/ http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/27328395/ Sun, 20 Sep 2009 20:19:16 PDT

Posted three actual art drawings, two of which had poses borrowed to learn proportions. (sorry to you artists, i tried to give credit but i didn't ask since i'm trying to learn for my own stuff later on.)

anyway, i'm learning how to build adobe's and cobs (more clay based version of adobes) and alternative meathods to heat and cool homes/water and provide electricity. Its an interesting challenge, but i keep reminding myself, I'm the son of an engineer. I can figure this out even without the formal education. (which is actually becoming quite true. already with less than a day's worth of research i've already come up with a few different methods in regards to the heating and cooling for both water and home simultaneously.)

I keep finding myself looking at rings, and found one place online that basically has a goldsmith's designs and you order from (her?) directly. they look so good, i could never afford a fully gold ring (even just 18k) but i've been planning on a silver base, with the wolves being golden, and then a darker red gem (like ruby) and a light blue topaz for the other...

so that's all i feel like updating for now... until next time peeps...

]]> ~admael7014 http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/26967463/ http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/26967463/ Tue, 01 Sep 2009 21:29:11 PDT
I'm a little bummed because I only inked two of the three, but when i went to scan them, it just didn't work, so now my printer scanner can't scan atm, or print (but that's because of a lack of black ink ) I'm hoping its just on the fritz, but you never know...

I'm working at my job, taking calls for verizon... Ironically its for a service that I can't get or comment on from experience. go figure. they want you to sell stuff you can't experience yourself.

On the plus side, my writing block has diminished somewhat and I had worked on my pokemon 'fanfic' for a while, got two chapters (re)done and posted on fanfiction so, i'm happy bout that. Now I'm torn between continuing the story, and redoing the first chapter... which I will freely admit sucks because I still have plenty of author's notes in it, mainly of the (I don't want to type this so here's what happened) variety. Regardless, that's my issue, and I don't want any comments on that subject even if its supposed to be encouraging!

If you have anything you wanna say, i'm cool with that, i'd really like some feedback on the story, just search by author for lycian w or username of admael7014. In general though, I'd really like to hear from more than just the same one or two people... I haven't heard anything from most of you and want to know if you're even doing ok...

]]> ~admael7014 http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/26837891/ http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/26837891/ Wed, 26 Aug 2009 14:05:33 PDT
If I get some of you liking my work, then I'll go ahead and finish up some of those or just restart them. At this rate I may get quite a lot better, since I really am just experimenting.

hopefully, this means I'll actually get some views and/or advice. try to be somewhat easy on me since I really only started drawing around (whenever I posted that first wolf pic) and paused after that was done till last night.

------

edit: ok, looks like i won't be able to upload the pics right away like I hoped because I forgot pencil doesn't get scanned at all well in my scanner, and I'm not ready to ink what I've sketched... hopefully I'll have the two or three sketches up within the week. Mood depending.

]]> ~admael7014 http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/26389961/ http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/26389961/ Tue, 04 Aug 2009 20:57:14 PDT
anyway, the plan is take care of all the debt, while saving up for getting car insurance and about 500-1000 extra to take care of my car's maitenance. it hasn't been run in about 8 months now and has needed an oil change for about... a year but i will try to get my car up and running before the first snowfall, and then be above water by the start of the new year. hopefully, that includes being out on my own again, since in reality i still pay about the same at home as i do out on my own (just with less freedom and more work) If my mom still insists i pay backrent for the time when i was unemployed from the accident... I'm torn between blowing her off (since she's been acting poorly to us, as well as been unwise with her money. If it was just the first one i would still pay, but... a brand new rav4 (suv for non car people like me), looking at new couches and a new bed for my youngest bro?)

I hope to see you all out there really soon, I haven't been working on my novel much, mainly because i haven't heard anything da side (I think... maybe one comment with only a little advice of what i asked for...) and only one commenter on fictionpress. I guess I really am just ignored here. Its mostly what I expected.

]]> ~admael7014 http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/25937482/ http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/25937482/ Tue, 14 Jul 2009 08:32:51 PDT
I really need some feedback here on it, what you like and dislike, what you look forward to, so please please please.... (lets add one more please for redundancy) please review either there or here and let me know.

here's what i'd like to see your comments look like (note i leave nothing after each category thing so you can do a straight copy paste...)

For those of you who don't know where to find it, go to [link] and substitute the 1 in front of wolfheart for whatever chapter you want... tho you'll still need the / around it.

I like:

I don't like:

This looks interesting:

This i didn't wanna see:

I would change:

I wouldn't change:

]]> ~admael7014 http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/25740978/ http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/25740978/ Sat, 04 Jul 2009 19:09:44 PDT
What i'm tired of, is these people, mainly you the readers (who've commented on my journals before) I am just frustrated that you probably had the availability (save about two or three of you, which i can understand because i talked with you or know why you cant) to make a comment and either say hi, sorry bout that, or a be glad its over, or a i hope you get better... but pretty much no one did.

What I'll point out is that I don't look for comments. That's not what this is about, kinda. Its a... a few of you had the courtesy to give condolences when he was in the hospital. I appreciated that. Some of you may not know what to say... i realize that... but it'd be nice to know that my journal was read and not ignored or deleted right away or whatever. I struggle enough as it is about feeling alone in this effed up world i chose to come back to (something i regret almost completely, with one exception).

It would have been nice... even if you really didn't give a damn, to say something. instead i've got... four people who will stay unnamed that i feel truely care about this. three of whom i can speak to by phone.

Thanks DA community... you really know how to remind someone how to be depressed.

]]> ~admael7014 http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/25582672/ http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/25582672/ Sat, 27 Jun 2009 08:02:11 PDT
He was doing a little better the night before, but his blood pressure was dropping rapidly at 630am, and when mom got the call, she rushed over to the hospital, and they authorized him some painkiller to help in his last moments. They didn't give it to him before because they were concerned for his blood pressure.

I'm still more or less at peace about it. I'm not really suprised. He never got "better" since his kemo right around 30 (14ish years ago.)

Anyway, we're making our arrangements and taking it one day at a time.

... sorrow kinda looks like he's rockin out yet sad doesn't it? XD

]]> ~admael7014 http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/25488749/ http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/25488749/ Tue, 23 Jun 2009 06:10:47 PDT
Item one: my dad is done with surgery, made it thru but he is not doing well still. Got put in dialisis (machine tries to do the kidney's filtering for his body) couple days ago and while he's losing a lot of water weight (25 pounds to date) he's still not doing well, and anyone that stays in ICU for more than a week is in trouble... he's got cellulitis, caught a bacterial infection in the colon (cleared up now), and his heart still isn't up to what it should be while his kidneys are now putting out no urine at all.

Item two: last thursday on the way to work, I was biking on a "wide sidewalk" (since the police said it wasn't a bike path.... uh-huh *eyeroll*) and a car came up on the road and suddenly decided it needed to turn right onto the road ahead that i needed to cross. Well, naturally, I tried to avoid hitting the car by stopping. Good news is, I succeeded! ... bad news was i fliped a wheelie for a split second, then still went forward, landing on my chin (probably slid a little) and gouging out a section of skin (and probably a little muscle) an inch and a half wide, half an inch long and a quarter inch deep. I got five stitches for that and they'll be taken out this friday. I also fractured my radial joint by about a quarter of an inch. Basically its what lets your lower arm twist. They put a temporary cast on to immobilize it, but (go figure) the orthopedic doctor said yesterday that what'll heal it is movement (tho not to the point of pain). It'll take two or three months to heal, and a year before i get my full motion back... x.x

Item three: because of my injury, i have been terminated from my temporary job at walmart. they actually wanted to give me a leave of absense so i could return, but there was no option like that for a temp, so i have to reapply when i am healed and can lift more than 5 pounds with my left arm...

item four: I miss rping... specially with okami... hope to hear from you soon.

]]> ~admael7014 http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/25488741/ http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/25488741/ Tue, 23 Jun 2009 06:09:54 PDT
Item one: my dad is done with surgery, made it thru but he is not doing well still. Got put in dialisis (machine tries to do the kidney's filtering for his body) couple days ago and while he's losing a lot of water weight (25 pounds to date) he's still not doing well, and anyone that stays in ICU for more than a week is in trouble... he's got cellulitis, caught a bacterial infection in the colon (cleared up now), and his heart still isn't up to what it should be while his kidneys are now putting out no urine at all.

Item two: last thursday on the way to work, I was biking on a "wide sidewalk" (since the police said it wasn't a bike path.... uh-huh *eyeroll*) and a car came up on the road and suddenly decided it needed to turn right onto the road ahead that i needed to cross. Well, naturally, I tried to avoid hitting the car by stopping. Good news is, I succeeded! ... bad news was i fliped a wheelie for a split second, then still went forward, landing on my chin (probably slid a little) and gouging out a section of skin (and probably a little muscle) an inch and a half wide, half an inch long and a quarter inch deep. I got five stitches for that and they'll be taken out this friday. I also fractured my radial joint by about a quarter of an inch. Basically its what lets your lower arm twist. They put a temporary cast on to immobilize it, but (go figure) the orthopedic doctor said yesterday that what'll heal it is movement (tho not to the point of pain). It'll take two or three months to heal, and a year before i get my full motion back... x.x

Item three: because of my injury, i have been terminated from my temporary job at walmart. they actually wanted to give me a leave of absense so i could return, but there was no option like that for a temp, so i have to reapply when i am healed and can lift more than 5 pounds with my left arm...

item four: I miss rping... specially with okami... hope to hear from you soon.

]]> ~admael7014 http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/25381064/ http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/25381064/ Wed, 17 Jun 2009 19:45:43 PDT
i'm just trying to hang on. Its fun...

]]> ~admael7014 http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/25266349/ http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/25266349/ Fri, 12 Jun 2009 03:29:41 PDT ----------
I haven't been able to sleep for some time... and i have to get some things off my chest.

First i'll say my living situation hasn't changed, and i have no new info on my dad's surgery later today...

Basically, I've goofed up. I had a random talk with and... she said something that hurt a little bit... and i said something that hurt her more deeply than i realized it could... I told her that I really would stop chasing her as a possible girlfriend and i was tired of the odd games she played with my mind on whether she wants me to chase her or not.

Unfortunately that's now sent her into a spiral of depression. How big is it? I have no way of telling, though i hope dearly its not as bad as I fear... or i may never forgive myself. She's been having it rough, friends that she had around her, (well, at least people she's known if they weren't friends) are quickly getting frustrated or something at her... and undermining her trust in them as well as demonstrating less trust than usual or what she deserves. She blames herself, and yet like most depression (speaking from my own experience anyway) her memory is omitting anyone else's influence and putting all the blame on herself. I've spent a good two or so hours trying to undo the damage i've started to cause, but to no avail (as far as i can tell) I just don't know what to do anymore... it doesn't help that the last time i tried to help someone while he was depressed i only made it worse and more confusing.
-------

random thoughts that i keep having -

why is it that the more you want to help someone, the more you don't?
why are the things you know you must do almost always are beyond your reach? and when you see what happens after its too late, how can you still be sane?
for all that i reach out with my heart and try to heal, what good can i do when i only tear the wound wider?
when will i get the abilities and so on i once had... I used to be a guardian and protector of others... i felt fulfillment at my calling. Why am i now getting so much anguish each time i try to fulfill the one calling i know i am meant for?
Is this why i am nearly always alone? why each of the friends i had/have one by one leave me?

]]> ~admael7014 http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/25215263/ http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/25215263/ Tue, 09 Jun 2009 11:26:27 PDT
In theory there's nothing new, other than my dad's surgery is this friday and I'm still at mixed feelings as far as how i want it to (or whether) succeed. as far as i can tell tho, i'm prepared for the worst (by most people's standards) mainly because its his third open heart surgery and I'm doubtful his odds are any better for it. there are other reasons I believe it probably won't go well but i really shouldn't get too detailed. (just know i'm not going to influence it.... cause i know my friends will totally... think i would... or... something.)

I'm attempting to test some wireless web options but its not doing well at all due to the problem of being in a basement... that will kinda do it right there. still, if all goes well, I may end up with a little connection anyway... even if it is dialup speed. nothing new is going on that'll speed up my moving out on my own, aside from me working. Hopefully i'll be able to get out in a couple months but its still... a lot of guess work.

]]> ~admael7014 http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/25031300/ http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/25031300/ Sat, 30 May 2009 10:45:22 PDT
The library computers don't allow chatroom stuff so i'm sorry, rping will have to wait even if we did end up co-ordinating when we could. I'm dealing with more crap from my family, tho my one consolation is that in theory my dad's going to have open heart surgery (for the third time easily, tho never for the same thing) so he can have a sack of calcium around his heart be removed. I know its cold hearted, but I am very torn between hoping he dies and hoping he doesn't... He's made my life nothing but hell and is almost, tho not quite, as bad as giovanni.

Now that i've actually made it out to the library, its not as bad a bike as i feared, and i'll probably try to go more often, though still not any more frequently than saturdays and i doubt it'll be weekly by any means.

by my best guess, i won't be back on my own for another few months easily... making this stay with my parents a lot harder than I feared... still, i try my hardest.

i appreciate ths support that those of you have tr4ied to give, and i hope you'll be patient enough with me to wait as long as possible for me to respond. if its important i respond quickly, i can't guarantee anything...

and i are now in a radio silence (no calls or txting) because she wants to give a chance. As much as i'm feeling severe amounts of depression about this (like loneliness, guilt, inadiquacy) I do not blame either one of them. it was my idea. so I'm trying to bear it as well as humanely possible. hopefully they will get along well until a more clear answer can be said as far as who she likes...

so, to okami, Nadia, and lyrical, i hope to catch you sometime and keep you updated...

Here i will post my determination to get myself out of the hellhole i so cleverly and stealthily dug for myself known as debt. and as a word of advice for all you out there, don't get any debt... aside from a working car (not new, just working and not needing constant repair) and a house... anything else just save up for.

]]> ~admael7014 http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/24348814/ http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/24348814/ Thu, 23 Apr 2009 15:20:15 PDT
so i'll be gone after saturday, tho i don't know if the move is during the morning or evening, I'm gonna have to roll with it either way... nobody's likely to see me on saturday so.... *tries not to get depressed or cry*

----- (and below is the tag i still kinda like.)
look at the journal! got tagged by something else.... ok more like i really liked it and decided to take it... found this one and took it too so...

~DON'T LOOK AHEAD AT THE QUESTIONS BEFORE YOU ANSWER! IT WILL SPOIL THE QUIZ~
pick a random ten people/characters that you know of and want in this thing.

1:
2:
3: Lloyd Irving (Tales of Symphonia)
4: Sheena Fubiyashi (Tales of Symphonia)
5: Kairi (Kingdom Hearts)
6: Riku (kingdom Hearts)
7: Arlie (from my novel i'm writing 'Wolfheart'.)
8:
9:
10: Loqua (from above novel)

(adds spaces so peoples can think of their own ten peoples to put here.) cause guess what! the real people listed have to do this too!


Now, based on the list above, answer the following questions.





What would you do if:

1. Number 5 was stranded on the toilet because he/she was out of paper?
Oh my.... if i knew, i'd ask a gal to go in after handing her a roll.

2. You came home one day and found Number 3 and Number 7 in your house, both drunk out of their minds?
Lloyd Irving and Arlie... odd combo... its a scary thought just because i don't know who'd live with lloyd's swords out o.o

3. Number 8 offered to fix the plumbing problems with your house?
O.O Kax, no way.... she'd sabotage them so id have issues all over the place.

4. Number 2 showed up at school as your substitute teacher for the day?
hmmm... i get the feeling id learn a little karate, or we'd all play smash.

5. You accidentally saw Number 10 wearing nothing but a small, purple Speedo?
*blushes* i'm a guy... i'd probably react but i'd ask her what she was doing in such a skimpy outfit.

6. Number 3 insisted on driving you around town to wherever you wanted to go for the entire day?
cool, i'd have him take me to his dad, see if i could get my own dwarven wraught sword like what i designed!

7. Number 9 killed Number 4 right in front of you?
O.O okami kill sheena? whoah... easy... i don't know why you did it but.... don't kill me.... do anything that'll leave me physically intact, but don't hurt me!

1. Number 6 to redecorate your house for you, however they see fit?
hmmm... hard to say. i don't know how Riku decorates.

2. Number 1 to be your dentist and work in your mouth with a drill?
O.O RUN AWAY! I CAN'T TRUST YOU TO NOT SHORT OUT ALL THE EQUIPMENT! *throws a doughnut to the side so i can escape*

3. Number 10 and Number 5 to be left alone in your house or apartment?
Sure, they're probably just going to talk. i don't think either of them are attracted to girls.

4. Number 8 to borrow some of your clothes and wear them in public?
kax? hmm... i don't think there'd be any difference, other than i'd be turned on big time by the thought...

5. Number 2 to try to fix your computer when it's messed up?
Colb... fix my computer? *laughs and rolls on the ground*

6. Number 4 to set you up on a date with Number 9?
That's some uber sweet action ^^ i wouldn't mind (don't worry i'll behave since you're a minor)

7. Number 1 and Number 3 to operate heavy machinery together?
hmmm... i think they'd get along quite well.

Relationship Section:

1. Number 5 asks Number 2 out on a date. Upon seeing this, what do you... ]]> ~admael7014 http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/24313515/ http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/24313515/ Mon, 20 Apr 2009 08:23:59 PDT
tagged me.

The Rules:
1. You must choose only ONE of your OCs. Do it again if you wanna use another OC.
2. Your OC must answer every question as truthfully as possible.
3. Title the journal as "OCs Quiz (your OCs name.Example:Kaiser's Quiz)".
4. When you're done, tag as many people as you want.
5. Have fun!!!

---
me: well.... fine, I choose Arlie!
Arlie: Cool! i knew you liked me Lyce!
me: ... yeah... tell them who and what you are.
Arlie: well I'm Arlie! and I can turn into a Saber toothed cat whenever i want! .... i was hoping for a lion though...

1. Hi! What's your real name and nickname?

Arlie. just Arlie. My author hasn't thought about a last name.

2. Interesting... what's your current age?

Well, I'm about 18, going on 19.

3. Uh huh. What's your favorite food?

I don't need to eat, but if I do, Apples.

4. And your favorite drink?

Don't have one.

5. Confession time! Who's your crush/lover?

hmm.... i don't know... though this girl i'm paired up with I really *don't like*, her name's Kara. x.x

6. Aww! Have you two kissed yet?

.... unfortunately yes, she's kinda a slut.

7. Classic question! What's your favorite color?

Yellow! its really... something.

8. Who's your favorite author?

Lyce of course!

9. Now what's your biggest fear?

well... i can't think of anything...

10. *stifles a giggle* I'm not laughing *bursts out laughing*

Why is that funny?

11. Awesome. Who's your hero?

Hmmm... I'd have to say its Felitan the warrior! (his favorite tv show

12. Ok, who is your worst enemy?

His arch rival Gigaroto!

13. What would you do if your hero and your worst enemy got together?

Wait... mean got together like fight? They do that a ton already.... got together like work together? o.o unthinkable!

14. Interesting... what would you do if you met your creator?

Oh that's easy! I see lyce every day at lunch! He got lucky with his pair though... almost wish i was a wolf with her and he could be the sabre

15. Okay, I'll contact them right now. Done! Now, what do you want to be when you grow up?

Well... it'd be nice if i found a different girl at some point... one who likes big cats and settle down... after this job is over i shouldn't need to work again

16. What's your worst nightmare?

Getting eaten or killed by another sabertoothed cat x.x that would suck.

17. What's your lifelong dream?

To enjoy life, have a few kids, and not have to do much work at all!

18. What would you do if your lifelong dream came true?

I would be a very happy kitty.

19. Ok, where's your favorite place to relax?

Out in the sun (as long as its not too hot) where i can have a sunbath... those are addicting *nods his head*

20. Last question! What do you spend most of your time doing?

well... when we're not having lessons I uh.... well, Kara kinda.... you know I'd rather not talk about it.

21. We're done! Now tag whoever you want.
-----

Just got a scare today... comcast cut off my internet sometime after 2am this morning because i didn't get the payment thru x.x i know i had the money... x.x managed to convince a lady to let me have the webs for one night before getting info on where i need to go to pay for the rest of the month... don't expect me in chatrooms or anything till i've paid... at least i can finish backing stuff up on my comp (all my games n stuff)

---------- (edited due to new info)

well, i've arranged to be able to move in with my parents.... though its under a few conditions i'm not thrilled about.

I have to pay 75 a week... 50 for food and 25 for the basement... and despite me telling them i only cost about 100 a month in food, they told me its "too much effort to make a budget for us and then a budget for you, so you're going to be on ours." .... so I'm gonna have too expensive food for no adequate reason.... *sighs* its worse than that, but I'm... ]]> ~admael7014 http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/24079259/ http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/24079259/ Tue, 07 Apr 2009 11:06:37 PDT
so i'll still have my interwebs for at least till the 28th... (i hope, assuming comcast doesn't cut me off before then) and i'm already majorly busy trying to make sure i get everything packed... entertainment first, followed by extra clothes and towels, as well as my dishes and all those good stuffs.... yeah...

so... you have me for a bit more here peeps
----------
Well.... I'm pretty much saying goodbye now...

Long story short, I'm going to be forced out of my apartment by the 14th... and by then everything that I can will have been packed and sent to my family for safekeeping....

odd that they'll take in all my belongings that i can carry but not my actual person x.x *doesn't get it at all*

so... I'm going to be packing nearly everything i can all throughout this week as well as cleaning up my apartment as much as i can so I'll get the money i deposited back... Yahweh knows I'll need it...

Regardless, I still plan on keeping my computer up and running at least this week... hopefully up until the day i have to leave (at latest the 14th tho I'll only chance the 13th, since it technically is the 15th but they need an inspection and me gone 24 hours before i "actually" move)

so, all my stuff is going to my parents and I'll take a small suitcase worth of clothes, a notebook n pen, a printout of my story up until the point i leave (I'll have to print a couple days before i go), my hygiene stuffs, and my bible... and move into the rescue mission until i can get back to a job... work enough to get stabilized again, pay off any bills and move into an actual place of residence again... I hate this fubeeping setup, but i also look at it this way...

All my life i had been so sheltered its not even funny... and now I'm getting thrown into a world that i considered (almost to the point where i really believed) it was beneath me. now i can actually understand it a lot better than i would have otherwise... i just hope i don't screw my life over as i start understanding.

Take care all you people who claim to watch me and then do nothing to comment on what i really need comments on.... x.x

]]> ~admael7014 http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/24021444/ http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/24021444/ Thu, 02 Apr 2009 10:55:31 PDT
My computer didn't even realize that it had a hard disk drive to boot up from x.x i managed to get it running (somehow) but i have no idea if its going to do that to me the next time it has to power up or not... just an fyi.

I was planning on getting rid of the internet because of the computer, but since it got back up, i'll stay on as long as i can... which is so much to say... till the 10th-ish if i don't get my car sold. i can't pay any bills so it'd be cut off anyway.

Worst case scenario, I will end up at a center for homeless people temporarily. Best case scenario, i will have sold my car and find a job and i'll get fit by walking and biking to work.

anyway... now you know.

]]> ~admael7014 http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/24020032/ http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/24020032/ Thu, 02 Apr 2009 08:58:31 PDT filling in for Lyce, he told me to log in as him to tell everyone that his computer is fried and he has no money to repair it. And because this, he decided to cancel his internet, so he will not be on for some time.

]]> ~admael7014 http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/23941589/ http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/23941589/ Sat, 28 Mar 2009 21:13:59 PDT [link] is the link to the original journal for what I made, and I'm going to answer my own journal!..... but anyone who uses this tag, all I ask is that you give me some credit for coming up with it... I didn't look at any other tag journals for creating it. If you want to add a question to it, please ask me and I'll add it and give you credit!

On a scale of 1-10: 1 means not a bit, and 10 means completely

Do you Think you're:

Easily scared in general?
I'd say about a 6. I'm an 8 when i don't expect it, but when I do it drops to about a 3.
Strong?
tch... try a 3. I can carry 50 pound boxes, but carrying two 40 pound bags of salt wears me out too much... i'm working on it tho.
Brave?
When it matters? 8 or 9. when it comes to arachnids, I'm only a 4.
Smart?
9. granted, i tell myself off sometimes and then my answer is 3.
Humble? (yep, trick question)
... good q. 5? I'm proud at times and not at others...
Annoying?
2. It takes a certain personality for me to annoy someone, unless its intentional, then its a 5.
Easily entertained?
4. I'll admit it, i'm easily distracted, but getting myself to the point of entertained is a task.
Loved?
3. I still have issues with my family, as much as they really helped today, their overall helpfulness leaves me with doubt.
Trusted?
2. I do not trust myself half the time, my family not at all...
Loving?
9. I care about all that I come across... unless you've really ticked me off or something. I just don't express it in physical affection.
Trusting?
5. I tend to be trusting of people in general, but get close to me and I am uberly untrusting... until you pass my test.
An Idealist?
1. I'm too practical for my own good, my pessimism and realism are my two biggest downfalls, even though they're also a strength.
Boring?
8. I won't deny it, i'm not really original often.

If you had the ability would you...

Bungee Jump off a bridge? (don't forget to sign the, "oh crap i died but it's not their fault" contract.)
nope, couldn't get me to sign that o snap contract..... unless it was that or rejoin rocket.... *shivers down the spine*
Dress up as someone you admire?
hmm.... as long as that someone is male... dressing as a girl makes me feel like I'm james x.x
Sky-dive? (similar contract signing required)
hmm.... surprisingly enough... i just might. but I would want a glider instead of a parachute. I miss being able to fly. don't forget it has to pop out of my backpack!
go swimming and figure out how long you could last underwater?
oh yeah... i've done it.... barely last at all with my lungs...
Travel with the fellowship from the start of the council of Elrond? (don't forget to mention what you'd try to do! hint: no making up lots of armor n stuff, just what you'd do if you had a sword/bow/whatever)
Hell yeah! I'd want a hand-and-a-half sword if the elves didn't let me have a two bladed sword like I've kinda designed, along with a bow n quiver. I'd be the longer ranged fighter, but not quite as much as legolas is supposed to be.
Would you have gone with Frodo n co. or with Aragorn? (and why. no you don't get to marry either one ladies.)
hmm.... frodo, sam, and the creepy crazy critter man thing.... or a totally cool guy, a wizard, a dwarf, an elf, and tons of bad guys awaiting my bootprint on their rears..... tough desicion...
Fight Sephiroth?
O.o say wha!? umm... i'd die.... probably.... unless i had all the abilities of my original...
Wield a keyblade? (if so, describe it or even draw yours!)
Again... Hell Yeah!.... guess i'd better get sketching. tho i will say I'm not sure what the design'd be similar to, since it seems to reflect yourself to a large extent... so i'd have to do some soulsearching there.
be an animal of your choice and be able to turn back and forth at will? what animal? (earth native animals please,no pokemon or dinos please)
how many times must I say it? hell yeah! (there, that's four) I'd be a wolf, cause they're cool... mostly.
Pick a rich suitor for the comfort or someone who was an adventurer?
hmm.... the rich suitor'd be too boring and since it'd be a girl, she'd try to control the relationship. I'll take the adventurer.
Who/What's your favorite....

Villain?
I'm torn between Zemnas and Giovanni... Zemnas because he was very much the villain I would have been... in a way, and Giovanni... because honestly, he is my polar opposite. He has all of the logic, intelligence, and strategy that I have... but he's evil.
Hero?
Riku. Not for his looks, but because just like him, I would throw myself into the darkness in order to save everyone I care ab... ]]> ~admael7014 http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/23940712/ http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/23940712/ Sat, 28 Mar 2009 20:10:41 PDT
On a scale of 1-10: 1 means not a bit, and 10 means completely

Do you Think you're:

Easily scared in general?

Strong?

Brave?

Smart?

Humble? (yep, trick question)

Annoying?

Easily entertained?

Loved?

Trusted?

Loving?

Trusting?

An Idealist?

Boring?


If you had the ability would you...

Bungee Jump off a bridge? (don't forget to sign the, "oh crap i died but it's not their fault" contract.)

Dress up as someone you admire?

Sky-dive? (similar contract signing required)

go swimming and figure out how long you could last underwater?

Travel with the fellowship from the start of the council of Elrond? (don't forget to mention what you'd try to do! hint: no making up lots of armor n stuff, just what you'd do if you had a sword/bow/whatever)

Would you have gone with Frodo n co. or with Aragorn? (and why. no you don't get to marry either one ladies.)

Fight Sephiroth?

Wield a keyblade? (if so, describe it or even draw yours!.... guess i'd better get sketching.)

be an animal of your choice and be able to turn back and forth at will? what animal? (earth native animals please,no pokemon or dinos please)

Pick a rich suitor for the comfort or someone who was an adventurer?


Who/What's your favorite....

Villain?

Hero?

Animal?

Author?

Book?

Movie?

Disney character?

Chew toy?

Hobby?

friend? (top three.... or if you have more, just keep the list small)

type of toy?


Do you think you know who you're dating/married to/whatever? Here's a section for you...

The following part is for you to fill out in a response to your own journal. Both of you need to look this over, do your answers, and then make your guess without looking at the other's guess of you!

Do you think you're...

Attractive?

loved?

Cared for?

Open with him/her?

being told everything?

Without faults?

used?

Easy? (take it however you think it means)

a good match? Why?

enjoyable together?

cuddly?

Intimate? (don't go by anyone else's standards but your own)

Steady?


Would you two....

Embarrass each other?

Sleep

talk telepathically?

Make up your own language?

Sleep together?

Push the other off the cliff's edge?

Back stab Giovanni? (I can be random, can't I?)

be able to agree on one animal to be if you had no choice?

Argue on anything?

Try to walk around in the same pair of pants?

Have the same answers?


Now post your answers, leaving a link at the top to this original journal so you both can answer, then check each other's answers!

]]> ~admael7014 http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/23853676/ http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/23853676/ Mon, 23 Mar 2009 17:20:34 PDT
nothing much has changed from my "desperate times" journal, only now i'm considering selling my car.... just to go on long enough to write my novel and get it published to get income in again.

[link] is where you can see it listed, and why I'm sad to see it go just to keep going and avoid my debt hole... me and my poor money management... tho it doesn't do me much good to keep my car now since my driver's license expired and I'm not "supposed" to drive

so, I'm going to do the best i can, despite my dad telling me what/where i should or shouldn't do/go... I finally got enough nerve to tell him to back off and leave me alone. if they aren't going to help in a way that i really need and doesn't cost anything worth mentioning, (they don't use the basement at all...) then they can get the frick out of my life. My dad hasn't bugged me since, (about a week).

well... i haven't stressed as much now, but i'm still stressing out over how i'm gonna make it since a couple bills are late and I can't pay (only have 10 dollars to my name and about 3k debt.) again, that's where i have to hope the ad above and the ad in the paper will get it sold fast.

so... i feel better now that I'm done venting... it'd be nice to get out of this somehow, but in the meantime, I've got to keep trucking and hope I'll be provided for... faith keeps me sane, but my mind is too logical to depend on that for a method of survival.

I'm not looking for pity. I squandered my great grandfather's inheritance that I got, nearly all of it on gaming related things... and I deserve what I do for not planning ahead (even tho i have no faith in the stocks at all.) just making sure you all know what I put myself through and how I'm holding up. i think the most unbelievable part of it is just... my parents.... and their effed up view of Christianity. (trust me, don't ask unless you want a longer lecture about just how they effed it up.)

]]> ~admael7014 http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/23311108/ http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/23311108/ Fri, 20 Feb 2009 17:52:23 PST
I am currently in a really tough bind. I lost my job because I had no choice. I had caught some sort of fungal disease from dealing with some moldy hay with . I had gone to the doctors during november and december to try to remove it, but they were idiots and treated it as the other two causes of illness (viral or bacterial), despite what I told them and why. Just because they were seeing a lot of cases like this and thought it'd work here.

Anyway, I have bills up the (whatever) from them because insurance covered crap. On top of that, I missed enough days of work in a row that I needed a doctors note to return to work... Considering I had a moral work ethic, I couldn't return to work till I was able to concentrate on my calls and give people the proper quality they (really don't) deserve. Unfortunately.... I was gone three weeks in a row (using herb teas and such to heal myself), and when I had the doctor's note ready to be turned in so I could work again, my car refused to run until after I was to be officially removed due to illness...... fun. (can anyone say intervention? divine or otherwise?)

So... I've been out of work since around christmas, bills are stacking up and no matter what I try to do, no place is hiring, or places are so swamped with applicants that it'd take a couple weeks for them to sort through all the possible applicants... and I doubt I'd be high on the list because of the removed for illness, I mean really... how good does that sound to any employer? only one step above fired for attendance issues.... that's pretty bad.

To top it all... I'm now only friends with , and while I know its for the best.... I'm still down over it.... AND... my family refuses to support me in the slightest. they invite me to come talk, and occasionally have a cheap meal together... (or at least cheap when I'm around... I've seen their weekly menus.) But if I lose my apartment, they made it clear I'm not going to be able to go back to them. I don't understand it at all.... if they have enough money to send my younger brothers to a private school (which honestly isn't any better than a public one), why cant they spare a little room or something till I can recover... even my brothers don't help at all. I've asked for some things to be returned so I can attempt to sell them, and they're broken almost to the point where it can't be used. (not quite of course... its once I try to run it that it does something wierd and then breaks on me. Just happened now with a ds...) At this point... I'm ready to say I don't have family...

So... now you know why I'm not active... and why life on earth is hell.

]]> ~admael7014 http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/21253846/ http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/21253846/ Fri, 31 Oct 2008 18:26:00 PDT
]]> ~admael7014 http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/20099425/ http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/20099425/ Fri, 22 Aug 2008 16:27:33 PDT
Person in mind:

Would you...
[x] Come to my house to do nothing at all but chill?

[x] Fight me?(considering we'd fight for fun anyway, but only if it's for fun)

[cond] Have sex with me? (I don't know why this is here either.... but only if the ring/necklace is there.)

[x] Kiss me?(We'd just have to hold our horses from there)

[x] Let me kiss you? (same as me kissing her)

[x] Watch a movie with me? (what time?)

[x] Go out to dinner with me? (I don't care what you say girl, its my treat!)

[x] Let me drive you somewhere? (considering you don't like driving, I think I need to.)

[cond] Take a shower with me? (yeah... considering that's really erotic, lets just save that for after the ring/necklace)

[] Drink with me?(..... i may not plan to but.... I really don't know how to answer this one.)

[x] Take me home for the night?(Oh yes. you get the bed, I get the carpet.)

[x] Let me sleep in your bed?(honestly, if we absolutely had to, I would, but even tho we wouldn't do anything because of our resolve, lets avoid temptation)

[x] Sing car karaoke w/ me?(well... probably.... just don't get me laughing while I drive ok?)

[x] Re-post this for me to answer your questions?

[x] Hold my hand? (yep.... umm... you're squeezing really hard. I still need to use that hand)

[x] Let me make you breakfast? (hmmm... if you're not about to prank me like you say you will)

[x] Help me with homework?(well.... just maybe...)

[x] Tickle me? (i'd try)

[x] Let me tickle you? (I really would hope not. I'd shy away but i'd get so glomped by you...)

[x] Instant message me? (Does this count as a question?)

[x] Greet me in public? (well, if you'd let me...)

[x] Hang out with me? (as long as the blood doesn't rush to my head as we hang)

[x] Bring me around your friends? (sure, i don't see why not)

[x] Be down with me no matter what? (naturally)

[x] Go to prom with me? (i think its a little late for us but.... i'll say yes anyway.)


D0 Y0U...
[x] Think I’m cute?(just a little... *being sarcastic*)

[x] Think I’m serious?(you told me you're not about a lot of things... but you can be so i'll say yes)

[x] Think I’m a good person?(aside from our fallenness, yes)

[] Think I’m conceited?(... only if gladara had trained you)

[x] Want ( or wanted) to kiss me? (*mario impression* oh yes)

[x] Want (or wanted) to cuddle with me? (i wake up some nights like that...)

[x] Want (or wanted ) to hook up with me? (we already hope to)

[x] Want (or wanted ) to "Do" me?(I'm a guy... what do you think?)

[cond] Think I would do you? (only if you had the ring/necklace)

[x] Love me? (*imitates her* cha)


AM I...

[x] Smart? (heck you keep up with my train of thought so...)

[x] Cute? (in more ways than one girlfriend)

[x] Funny? (we laugh every day so yeah)

[?] Sexy? (I wouldn't know, but I know you wouldn't encourage it... even if you are)

[x] Cool? (yeah, you like swimming in cold water so you'd have to be cool... or something)

[?] Romantic? (i think we should find out one of these years...)

[] A *freak*? (as the world defines it, only for yeshua)

[] Gangsta? (does you liking rap count?)

[x] Lovable? (that's question number 40 like that or something)

[x] Adorable? (I'll go with my gut instinct)

[x] Trustworthy (where it counts. You may be mischievous but you wouldn't let me down)

[x] Compassionate?

[x] Great to be with? (so far over the phone yeah)

[?] Attractive? (seriously, I can't know yet!)

[] Mean? (only unintentionally, and I always let you know....so that was only once.)

[x] Well known? (seems like I know you pretty well, lemme know if i be wrong)



HAVE Y0U EVER...
[x] Thought about hooking up with me? (we've already made plans to)

[x] Found yourself wanting a kiss from me? (as I said, I woke up sometimes like that)

[x] Wished I were there? (cha)

[x] Had a crush on me? (you already noticed that and pointed it out to me actually)

[x] Wanted my number? (already have it)

[x] Had a dream about me? (oh yes. the t... ]]> ~admael7014 http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/18499881/ http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/18499881/ Sun, 25 May 2008 18:59:51 PDT [link]

-----------• × • A L L | A B O U T | M E • × •--------------

- Name: Joshua A Carpenter
- Other name: Lycian S Waterflower
- Sex: Male
- Birthday: December 21st, 1987
- Hatch Day: roughly April 8th.... i think... it was hard to tell
- Sign: Saggitaruis... or whatever that was
- Hair color: brown
- Eye color: golden brown
- Height: 5'10"... i think. its been a while since i've been measured
- Are you straight/bisexual/gay?: definitely straight... come at me as a guy (when I am) and so help me i'll run the fastest marathon you've ever seen.

-----------• × • F A S H I O N | S T U F F • × •--------------

- Favourite place to shop for clothes?: oh wow... i can't even remember the last time I bought my clothes...
- Favorite designer?: uh... guy = lack of knowledge of such things
- What is your sexiest outfit?: hmm... probably something i haven't done yet... but i will... Kratos Aurion's seraphim outfit (tales of symphonia refrence)
- What is your most comfortable outfit?: dress pants and turtleneck shirt... or my pajamas
- What do you usually wear?: pajamas where i can... and when i'm with others i wear the other option mentioned before.

--------------• × • S P E C I F I C S • × • -------------------

- What kind of shampoo do you use?: whatever my g-ma's hairdresser gave me (i have really bad/oily hair, so don't laugh too much)
- What are you listening to right now?: stand in the rain by superchick
- Who is the last person that called you?: who else ^^
- How many buddies are online right now?: hmm... roughly 4... only one of which actually talks with me without depending on me for entertainment x.x

-------------• × • F A V O U R I T E S • × •-----------------

- Food: PIZZA!... and sausage gravy n biscuits
- Girls' names: the ones i use for my stories... Carona, Aleena, Loqua... etc
- Boys' names: Lycian (of course), Arlie, ... my mind went blank right there.
- Subjects in school: math^2
- Animals: Wolves,.... wait... do pokemon count?

----------------• × • H A V E | Y O U | E V E R • × •-------------

- Given anyone a bath?: no... i might want to give a certain someone one but i know i won't.
- Smoked?: ... i so want to delete that question. I never will and never have...
- Bungee jumped?: O.O NO EFFING WAY! *scuse my french*
- Made yourself throw up?: never knew how... not that i wanted to.
- Skinny dipped?: oh i've wanted to... but i never could.
- Ever been in love?: hmm... i think would know XD
- Made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: No, I never could cry cept when I was really depressed.
- Pictured your crush naked?: ... honestly? yes... but i immeadiatly berate myself for the reasons i did so.
- Actually seen your crush naked?: considering we haven't seen each other yet.. that would be difficult.. not that i'd let myself till certain ceremonies would have been performed (deo valente)
- Cried when someone died?: no
- Lied: ... far too often. my kind nature to people's faces really has me doing that... specially when mom and dad caught a hint of me playing games without permission.
- Fallen for your best friend?: umm... i didn't have any good friends when i was younger, but now... id still have to say no.
- Rejected someone?: Nope.
- Used someone?: ... yes... albeit unintentionally...i don't even realize it untill after the fact
- Done something you regret?: even tho i shouldn't regret anything, yeah. Anytime I go to bed, i will physically shake or jerk myself as an automatic effort to get my mind off of those times.

------------• × • C U R R E N T • × •--------------

- Clothes: pajamas! Shirt = red with blue collar and my right sleeve (but not my left) has a purple tye dye pattern.. pants are all red too.
- CD in player: nope.. i'm mostly an mp3 type....
- DVD in player: homemade digimon dvd... cause my brothers didn't want it after asking me to make it for them -_-

----------------• × • L A S T | P E R S O N • × •----------------------

- You touched: my youngest brother... cause it was a scrunched car...
- Hugged: family? my g-ma i visited today. outside of f... ]]> ~admael7014 http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/17465580/ http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/17465580/ Sat, 22 Mar 2008 21:20:39 PDT (i included the second just cause they're a set ^^)'s journal.
I thought it was bloody brilliant! kudos to whoever thought of this. I'm thinking I'll do this to cause..... I feel like it? that and It might help me better understand myself

::WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF I...::

died: o.0 you just had to have that q first.... I would definitely miss you.... and the input you've given, but i wouldn't try to be too sad cause....well.... cause we both know that it gets better afterward.

I kissed you: o.o you would do that!? I'd be happy, tho I'd also probably be quite surprised.... who knows... maybe if i got over that shock I would give one back.

I fell: Well... If you were a normal gal... I'd end up trying to help you up. Since you're (probably) even tougher bout that then I would be... I'd offer to help and simply try to act like it was normal. If I tried to help you too much I'd be afraid you'd think I thought you weren't capable.

I lived next door to you: it'd be quite surprising to say the least. I'd naturally be a little happy about it, but also a little while would be needed to get used to the "farm" smell. Cause my apartment would have suddenly been moved to a farm instead of vice versa XD

I showed up at your house unexpectedly: o.o I'd be surprised, quickly try to clean up my room from it's normal messy guy teenager state to a hospital clean, apologizing profusely, and then trying to figure out how you would have teleported to my door.


I stole something: I'd immediately know that you had been replaced by some aliens or something and would immediately ask your replacement if they could take me too. ^^

I was murdered: as much as I know what I should do...... I would probably go thru that death scenario from before.... and then its superman time.... only for revenge....... as much as I shouldn't..... I know that if i had the ability, i would.


I cried: can anyone say "give an ear and a backrub?" ^^ thanks to my new job, I can definitely listen to whatever made that happen... tho i'll definitely try to listen instead of just saying yeah... uh-huh at appropriate intervals XD

I asked you to marry me: My first desire... honestly... would be YES! But, give me time to consider and I'd probably say that'd be quite early for it, especially since we hadn't met face to face yet.


I was hospitalized: *calls supervisor* hello? i have a family emergency and need to use my vacation time to take care of that. *ends call* so which hospital?


::WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MY::

Personality: lets see... you've definitely got intellect. I can be as sublte as I like and yet you still see right thru it, which is something that no one I've met face to face with has done before... ever. You're also willing to give critisism without mincing words, something that I'm too... afraid? to do. You're.... lets see... you've demonstrated patience.... and.... I can't think of much more than that atm... it's been a while so I'm a little rusty.

Eyes: well, I wouldn't really know... but i betcha i wouldn't mind a staring contest.... ^^

Hair: again, not really sure what to say there... its sorta hard when we don't really know for sure what we look like.

Family: I'm thinking this would be one of the bigger aspects of my blank spots of knowlege that would need to be filled in... eventually... should that be.... *loses train of thought*

Smile: hmmm, to tell the truth... or lie..... truth... lie.. truth... lie.... enh, what the heck.... I'll say what I'm thinking... just keep smiling cause if your face is gonna freeze keeping it up there.... that's fine by me XD


::WOULD YOU::

Trust me enough to sleep in the same bed as me? Hmmm, I believe the question here isn't whether I trust you enough to sleep in the same bed, but whether I trust myself... With how I've been lately, I really can't say for certain whether I'd trust myself... but you? certainly ^^

Keep... ]]> ~admael7014 http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/17350128/ http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/17350128/ Sat, 15 Mar 2008 16:15:07 PDT
Dark Flame team is still a pokemon mystery dungeon rp group that is now looking for members. Please go there for details and if you're interested.

Rescue team:


]]> ~admael7014 http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/16995571/ http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/16995571/ Thu, 21 Feb 2008 15:36:02 PST CSR = customer service representative.

Granted, i still have one more week of training. Most of which will be spent heavily monitored, typically coupled with a "mentor" and then solo'd.

I'm actually happy. I'm not selling anything. What i am is the person on the other side of that 1-800 number on your cereal, on your can of veggies, you get the idea.

Long story short, I now assist with General mills. And ironically, its not limited to their cereal. They also do Green giant, totinos, yo-plait, pillsberry (note, its only frozen, the dry mixes belong to smuckers!) and even some soy-based stuff, like 8th continent (milk), and argh... i forgot the last one. Anyway... im only trained so far on green giant, pillsberry and "the big G" (cereal).

If anyone has any q's, i suppose i could answer em... just keep in mind all my info is in the network and the comp i use for da isn't the same one... theyd get mad.

So that's pretty much covering it.... but one more thing im going to add now that im thinking about it....

i am going to be re-doing my story once more... i've heard rather frequently that the feel of the story is rather inconsistent. The other comment i've heard... and i honestly agree after taking a break from it, the battle scenes are too short as well... what few there were.

so... that's everything i can think of. if you have any q's im more than willing to answer, even if it's for my story, unless its a plot revealing thing.

]]> ~admael7014 http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/16889655/ http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/16889655/ Thu, 14 Feb 2008 20:04:02 PST
1. Are you ready for 50 questions?
If i must....

2. Which state/country do you live in?
Illinois... tho that's up for debate now...

3. What is your favorite thing you got for Christmas?
What's christmas? XD ok, no not really.... i got.... a bunch of clothes..... that was pretty much it.

4. What was the last thing you did in 2007?
Well.. im pretty sure i was sleeping... yep i was definitely sleeping.... before that i was..... probably chatting with

5. How tall are you?
I think im about 5'10" but i don't remember...

6. Are you new on dA? How long have you been a member?
well... sorta new... if less than a year counts...

7. Are you male or female?
i am male.... at least... i ended up male... that's usually how it works right? you don't get a choice?

8. Which program do you use to chat?
mostly da's chatrooms... tho msn works ok...

9. What was the first thing you did this morning?
woke up... and ...... changed clothes?

10. Do you own a website or forum?
no

11. Is the computer you're using your own computer?
defenitely

12. What is your favorite type of food?
Breakfast foods... go wood shavings!

13. How many brothers and sisters do you have?
well.. i have two brothers.... tho id gladly trade em for a sister... anyone open to the idea?

14. Do you have an account on myspace?
no... it has a bad rep where i'm at

15. What is your favorite video game or anime character?
hmmm.... tales of symphonia! cause everyone on there is cool.... but just cause zelos is a walking ..... you know... doesn't mean he's not cool sometimes.

16. What is your favorite color?
like i said... it had been blues, but now its mostly the greens and the lighter blues...

17. Everyone loves candy, right?
Not after eating about ten pounds of it in 5 nights.....

18. Have you ever gotten a gift art from a friend or someone?
not really..

19. Do you have the Wii?
Yes.

20. (IF YES TO QUESTION 19.) What Wii games do you have?
lets see.... Mario galaxy.... Pokemon battle revolution... Mario strikers (not a clue why), Mario party 8, Fire emblem, geometry wars. and that's it.... but i have brawl and dragon quest swords pre-ordered and paid for.

21. If you could have one wish, what would it be?
To be able to go to the pokemon world... and be a pokemon... like bayleef.... or something

22. How long do you sleep?
Well.. i work best on a good 9 or 10 hours... tho i can live on half that... just don't expect cohesive thought for about 3 hours after waking me.

23. What is your favorite part of day?
When i actually get to talk with people... being alone gets old.

24. What kind of creature/person is your character?
usually, i'd have to say its really just me as a ditto.

25. What is the first letter of your name?
I don't share my first name randomly like this... so i'll use my true name (what i consider to be true anyway)

L

26. Do you cuss/swear/curse?
No. Not unless you tick me off really badly and I lose it... or something related to that...

27. Are you happy, excited, angry, weegee, or sad at the moment?
I think I'm sad right now... mainly cause i'm still mostly ignored, but i get to talk with people, so im good.

28. What is your favorite video game?
wasn't this already asked? i said Tales of Symphonia... tho i must admit that super smash always had been a contender ^^

29. Do you think Nintendo is an amazing company?
Amazing? not particularly... but they are good at giving the public the same games over and over again with slightly different things about it.... seriously how many times does mario have to save Peach? i would have let her be kidnapped after the 3rd time.

30. What is your favorite video game company?
Nintendo, only cause microsoft is mostly working software and sony only has Final fantasy and kingdom hearts.

31. Do you like doing quizzes?
not particularly -_-

32. Do you have a lot of good friends?
....................................

.....

no

33. What color eyes do you have?
Well... till about a month ago they were a dark brown... now they're a lighter brown, with some tinting of green... sorta neat really...

34. What is your favorite Pokémon?
cuteness? pikachu
to be? bayleef... maybe lucario
as a probable friend? mew... tho i still have a long w... ]]> ~admael7014 http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/16825360/ http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/16825360/ Sun, 10 Feb 2008 22:36:24 PST
anyway... im gonna do the tag of lightsaga.... cause i feel like it.
and i have to answer two questions before this...

1. 2 names you go by.
that'd have to be.... aside from my real name? Lycian S. Waterflower, and..... Carona ?. Ketchem.... sorta cause i needed to.

2. Three Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
well... my pajama tops (short sleeved despite winter), pajama bottoms (full length, i never do shorts) and......... a blanket?

I promise to answer every question TRUTHFULLY!!

1. Are you currently in a relationship?
well... yes and no.... I have a friend... and i wouldn't have minded being bf and gf... but she doesn't respect any of my family or their wishes usually... even went out of her way once to get on their nerves... that sorta broke it.

2.have you ever been given a rose ?
No..... I honestly wouldn't want to.. im sorta the practical type, but i take that back.... i wouldn't mind getting one, cause it would reflect something bout the person who gave it to me.

3. what is your all time romance movie?
I think the closest thing i have to a romance is.... step up? and even then... i watch it for the dancing.... i only knew about it cause i saw it once and loved the co-ordination.

4. Have you ever been in love?
Honestly, yes.... but i knew something was wrong with it from the start... i shouldn't have to ignore something about myself (my beliefs for one) in order to have it. but.... i was tired of not knowing what that was like... so i did ignore myself for a year to have it...

5. Do you believe that everyone has a soul-mate?
DEFINITELY! i just wish she was easier to find.

6. Whats your current problem?
physically? i ache a lot... but that's cause i sleep weird.
Mentally? i get depressed sometimes, but i refuse any medicine because of my past.
spiritually? I..... wish i could say i read my bible every day... but... i only do about once a week -_- among other issues. I think that's part of why i feel so empty.

7. Have you ever had your heart broken?
yeah, tho not in a big way... i was broken when i realized my current friend wasn't for me... but i was also relieved... you could guess why from the earlier q.

8.Your thoughts of online or long distance relationships?
Definitely kept me going for quite some time. and there had been a couple points where, if i hadn't had my online friends.... i probalby wouldn't be here to type this. My depression can get bad if i allow myself to become secluded or when im not needed by anyone. but let me be able to help and It'll go away nearly instantly.

9.Have you ever seen a friend as more than a friend?
well, in case my earlier answer(s) didn't clue you in... yes. tho... it didn't end up being for the better.

11.How many kids do you want to have?
-_- im sorta mixed on this issue... I really think that, while i'd like to think i'm good with children and that age group... i don't really want any. The only real reason i put up with some is because they aren't mine. If anyone says that doesn't make a difference, i betcha they don't have any themselves.

12.What is/are your favorite color(s)?
Well... blue had been always... but not to wear..... the greens are now a more overall favorite color for me.

13. Do you believe you truly only love once?
*sigh* thats a hard question to answer... I'd like to say yes.... even tho i can't really explain why. but... like i said earlier... i'd like to see the person who would be on the recieving end of this to come soon....

14. have you ever found it hard to tell some one you like them?
well... i had at first... and since i've only had the one person so far..... maybe?

15.Imagine you're 40 & your partner just died, would you get re-married?
*heart gets heavy* ow..... that really hurts. probably not... i'd be lonely afterward, but i doubt i would want to re-marry, for fear of ruining the memory of her....

16.At what age did you start noticing the opposite sex?
honestly? about 15... or so.... if you mean the differences between that'd be right.... trying to date or something like that with the opposite sex? that'd be about 17...... im a slow one... but i doubt that matters.

17.What song do you want played at your wedding?
"For you", by michael w smith would probably be a good one, but i wouldn't know a thing about what to pick.........

18. Do you like anyone?
i like loads of people, im a people person.... but if you me... ]]> ~admael7014 http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/16696878/ http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/16696878/ Sat, 02 Feb 2008 20:18:44 PST ) had been kidnapped by bad humans.

Unfortunately, no one really ended up showing for it... so here's the deal... rather than having me wait for four hours after my job just for no show's, im going to do this...

I say when the day is gonna happen, two options for the more restricted ppl.... here's whats gonna happen....

you tell me what you're available for and what you prefer to be on.... if you tell me you're coming... you're coming dang it! (sorry, but i got really depressed then ticked about it.) if something happens, fine, but please note me...

so, thursday (2/7/08) or saturday (2/9/08) = redoing the maril informing thing and maybe dungeon too... tell me like this.... OH DON'T FORGET YOUR TIME ZONE!

Day available/planned to come:

Time best to see me:

time available (like length of time):

usual availability? (yes or no q) :

]]> ~admael7014 http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/16620656/ http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/16620656/ Mon, 28 Jan 2008 21:51:05 PST
In case you didn't know, im a part of team nightwing... and the leaders hadn't logged in in the last two months... so i ended up having a mission posted!

Liriam the marill brought back news that my char (loqua the female bayleef) and cordis (the male charmander of ) had been kidnapped by bad humans.

this upcoming thursday evening, starting at around 6pm (assuming i remember), and on saturday morning (when i wake up), I'll be on the team's chatroom as liriam so the team can listen in on the info or ask questions in general bout whatever.

I have unofficially taken up the post of the team's recorder/historian, so i will be copying to a word processer everything i end up seeing on the chatroom for records.

Note! you don't have to be a member to jump in, but don't flame or anything like that.... i want ppl to rp, not just make fun of us for doing that.

Any questions? so far i have 6 to 7 rescuers i think...

]]> ~admael7014 http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/16542762/ http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/16542762/ Wed, 23 Jan 2008 19:44:54 PST work is killing me in so many ways its not funny....
everything in general is falling to pieces.....
and its always being blamed on me... and for the most part.... they're right.

im so tired of being alone.... im so tired of goofing up.... im so tired of being superman.... im so tired of...... well... nearly everything.

If i can't do anything right.... what good am i?

]]> ~admael7014 http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/16054924/ http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/16054924/ Sun, 23 Dec 2007 08:00:16 PST
my friend and are now thinking of themselves as bf and gf. Personally i think they're the cutest couple i've gotten to know in a while.

um what else.... i haven't worked on my fic at all... I've caught the roleplaying bug now... but i doubt anyone minds... with my pageviews still under 1k, i doubt that means much.

great... my goldfish memory is still kicking in.... what else... um, oh! now i remember

i have a few things now that i think about it.
1) I am now a part of the rescue team....
2) i set up a chatroom mainly to talk with but if anyone wants to try to catch me while im gone, im gonna try to get on it if im allowed.
3) ok, now i remeber, here are the links for the two chatrooms i go to: [link] and [link]

so that summs it up. if i have anything else, i'll let you all know.

]]> ~admael7014 http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/15969108/ http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/15969108/ Mon, 17 Dec 2007 06:12:12 PST
yesterday, my dad came over out of the blue, and tried to tell me off big time. he told me how i was supposed to pick up my bro and take him somewhere... and yet, i told them that i wasn't going to, and they got mad.

i hate my f-ing family.... they meddle when i don't want them to. and more often than not, they do things that they don't need to...

heck, he called me a liar to my face... at that point, if i could have dam'd him to anything, i would have....

like i said, i hate my family. correction... i have no family, cause family wouldn't do this.

now i'll do everything possible to not travel with them this winter, cause i refuse to be with them if that's how its going to be.

]]> ~admael7014 http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/15642599/ http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/15642599/ Fri, 23 Nov 2007 22:35:14 PST
I really don't feel like talking to my family much. Whenever they gather around, somehow the topic always turns to how im doing, what i could have done and what i should do. After a while, I develop the wrong attitude that says, "you know this is my life d***it! Stop second guessing me! It's my life!" i have to take a few to think about what they were trying to say instead of what they did say.

And besides, I don't have a life, of my own anyway...

But I caught pink eye the day of, and so i missed out on that lovely discussion! Good ol contact lens cleaner. Got rid of it in one dose, surprisingly enough! So yeah, I had to stay home so no one else could catch it.

As far as my job situation, I'm still stuck with less hours than ever, and I'm getting tired of being proven that my trust in my previous workplace is misplaced. But after this week, i should start closing. Then hours should pick up from there.

As far as my mind goes... That's hard to say... I don't seem to have my motor on a lot if you know what i mean. I seem to be looking to distract myself from something... I just don't know what. I can't write anything for long cause something else, mostly memories, pop up and keep me from focusing. I know most would just concentrate past it, but anytime this happens, its been a warning to something. My bills should be okay now... same with rent... so what could it be? I doubt i can go back already...

I'm still trying to give you all an opportunity to ask me any 3 questions. Preferably about my fic, but real life is fine tho. ANY THREE QUESTIONS! So long as you don't ask me to reveal stuff that would make you able to find me. so no locations or you get a really broad description... you get the idea.

All i ask is that if I don't answer your question directly, It's cause you asked a bad q, (and i'd tell you that), you asked about a future event in my fic (so i'd tell you when to expect), or it was something I just couldn't answer (in which case... oh wait... that defeats the purpose).

ASK AWAY PEEPS! I'll even answer my own that i asked someone. And if you want to ask more, fire away...

The more ppl who ask me stuff, the more i feel needed...

]]> ~admael7014 http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/15411281/ http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/15411281/ Wed, 07 Nov 2007 18:39:00 PST My landlord never got the $400 for last month's rent... so now, I need to pay him $425 (late fee applied) and within (now) 4 more buisiness days. I should be fine, since i have a credit union, I should get a loan, but they didn't get back to me yet on whether its approved.

The bank can't seem to trace how i lost the money, and they don't think its identity theft or anything, so naturally, it comes outta my pocket saying, "tough luck kiddo."

To be honest with myself, I'm not worried at all, or I'm worrying to death. ATM, im not at all. there are just times im at peace... so I'm just going to have to work it out, or i might be able to wait and see.

Anyway, I'm not on this journal to talk about me much. (but if the worst should happen, I'll let you all know k?) I'm on to give you all an opportunity to ask me any 3 questions. Preferably about my fic, but real life is fine tho. ANY THREE QUESTIONS! So long as you don't ask me to reveal stuff that would make you able to find me. so no locations or you get a really broad description... you get the idea.

All i ask is that if I don't answer your question directly, It's cause you asked a bad q, (and i'd tell you that), you asked about a future event in my fic (so i'd tell you when to expect), or it was something I just couldn't answer (in which case... oh wait... that defeats the purpose).

ASK AWAY PEEPS!

]]> ~admael7014 http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/15298987/ http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/15298987/ Wed, 31 Oct 2007 09:08:05 PDT The same goes for my family... when I'm around my family, I act like I like em, but when i get away, I hate my parents (sometimes for the stupidest of reasons). I feel like there's always something about myself that I'm hididng, but what I don't know.

It's so wierd... I want to just stay the same no matter what, and yet I don't even know me. I don't know what part of myself is the most like me, just because I'm not always the same with how i act.

If anyone throws out the, "just be yourself" garbage, I'm gonna hurt them, cause they missed the whole point. I don't know myself, so how can i be what i don't know?

In other news... Bills are coming up on me, rent is beginning to be due, and I have no idea how long it will take to get myself the money to pay for everything. but at least I have a job. I'll get it all paid soon enough... I just hope it's in time.

]]> ~admael7014 http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/15119126/ http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/15119126/ Thu, 18 Oct 2007 17:37:56 PDT I've been told by too many places that because i left my last job so quickly, I can't be considered reliable... so that makes just 4 today... and then hell started.
I left not an hour ago to try to go get a fast food job, when my car broke down after 5 minutes. The only good thing about it is that my folks were around in 15 minutes, bad news was that they were all over my case.
I now only have just enough money to pay for the tow truck, and even then im not sure anymore... My backup money is spent, and without a job, no one will loan me money.
If God was trying to teach me humility, then by golly he did a smashing good job of it.
so... I dunno what else to say.
just got a call from my folks too, the towing service is now going to charge extra because my doors were locked. despite the front driver door being unlocked, they charge for the other three...
shoot me now... cause i know its only gonna get worse.

]]> ~admael7014 http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/15107877/ http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/15107877/ Wed, 17 Oct 2007 20:35:10 PDT to be frank, im not (frank or going on)...
I STILL don't have a job... despite all those places looking for part time help (heck even the post office is looking...) i have yet to be hired. TONS of apps filled out, many interviews, and how many return calls? Me= 25, them = 0... that's right, 0.- (this way it doubles as a face with an eye poked out... ouch)
So, i've got bills coming up, and i've got... lets see... *pulls out pokets* and *finds out moths ate all my moneyz* so, i could take a loan... but even tho i fully own my car and could set that as a title secured loan, no one knows where my title is... My credit union had it last, they say they gave it to me (but they didn't) and we had already searched the ENTIRE house when i lived there... so im stuck.

IN OTHER NEWS... I have updated ch3 of my fic, maybe not by much, but some. I plan to have ch4 up within a week or so... I would do more if i stopped playing mmo's (but theyre so fun... can i say 'addicted?' so plz read and tell me WHY U LIKE IT! not whether you do, but that's nice too...
I've worked a little on re-writing 's fic, but then i realized that it wasn't backed up and am getting my backups from him... still, he's gonna fill me in where he's posting the re-write so we can show you v2! of it (even tho i've only gone to the equivalent of ch3, its 3x the file size of the originals!!!!) so once that's up, go there too...

I think that covers it, that, and im addicted to using elipses (...)... see?
hope to hear from you all, eventually... (THERE I GO AGAIN!!!! i need to stop)
Lycian

]]> ~admael7014 http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/14996921/ http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/14996921/ Wed, 10 Oct 2007 08:16:45 PDT I have used the backup restore part of the hard drive to make it go back to the way it was when I got it. (so that answers you q colb about what nuking is. this is it.)
Good news, it's speed is back up to where it should be.
Bad news (expected), I have to get everything back on to the way it was...
So Colb, you don't have to worry about getting it like you've been telling me. Tho if it gives me problems in the future, I might re-consider it.

ummm, what else was I gonna say... I'm playing the most difficult super mario mod ever... lemme put it this way, WHOEVER MADE THE F$&%ING THING IZ GOING TO DIE, OR BE CHASED BY ME SO I CAN MAKE LEVELS THAT WELL. Personally, I'm more likely to kill him. I'm taking it out on mario a lot because he has a natural attraction for hell.
I never would have thought bowser would have gotten such a good castle (despite no floors) and he'd better watch his back, cause he's gonna get backstabbed...

]]> ~admael7014 http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/14977277/ http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/14977277/ Mon, 08 Oct 2007 20:19:20 PDT Ok, not really or else there'd be no kingdom hearts.

my laptop is about ready to get nuked.
it won't/can't do squat anymore and it's taking forever for me to attach four tiny files I MUST have onto an email with it.
No ability to burn dvds past 64kb.
Only 1.0ghz processing pwr on best of days
no networking ability aside from @&%* slow wireless (good wirless it can't connect to because computorz stink!)
No sound anymore. that's enough to drive me edgy alone.

if anyone can help, GREEEAAAATTT! Otherwise, I'll ship it to after I nuke it so he can work on his story better and faster ^.^
Who knows, maybe he'll get better grades too!

PLEEEEEEEZZZZZ, help me fix this! Too many important files (to me) at stake!

I will also have to re-do what I've already done for some of my fic, AAARRRGGGH. But at least you know know that I'm working on it.

yes , really. I WILL send it to you if I get it working and am depressed with it enough.

]]> ~admael7014 http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/14784107/ http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/14784107/ Tue, 25 Sep 2007 09:36:46 PDT
Well, let's see here. , I've sorta slowed down a lot on your fic, but I'm glad I could help you out with what I did get done. I know you don't mind, but I'll get it done eventually.
The Kingdom Hearts is the same way, held off until I actually have someone who would know what the * they're doing to help with the sprites.

I've been sweating like mad all the time it feels like. My AC works really well, but I'm only not sweating when my room is like a cooler. Since I don't have a thermometer, I'll hazard a guess that I'm running a temp, but like the other time, no other symptoms. Since it would cost me too much to run my AC all the time, I deal with it.

So, that about sums it up. I had two interviews, but they went badly, I guess. They said that they would have hired me, if they weren't so staffed or didn't need to train me. personally, I don't think the second one is their real concern, but whatever. I am content, and I guess you could say determined to a minor extent to get a job.

]]> ~admael7014 http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/14622688/ http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/14622688/ Thu, 13 Sep 2007 19:58:30 PDT
I'm thrilled to say I've started reworking your fic once more! Oh Joy! I know that you don't mind either way, but it feels like forever since I've worked on it. I also need to talk with you eventually, cause I've got plans once this fic is done by ya. I'll send a note too...

Anywho, that's it for now... I'm using some of the different wi-fi hot spots to log in every now and then, especially since a lot of the apps are online now. hope to keep in touch with you all!

P.S. I've recently taken a likeing to an mmo called fiesta. go to [link] for more details. if youre thinking about going into it lemme know! I like being support, but no one lets me in a party

ALSO, I'm working on a new kingdom hearts game! I'm gonna use RPGmaker XP, so it'll play a little different, but my plans are tentative at the moment. All I know for certain are these few things.
1) It'll be called Kingdom Hearts: When Worlds Collide
2) It'll cover all sorts of different worlds that sony wouldn't try to cover, like nintendo, and tv shows
3) I really don't have much more than a basic ability with the program, so I'd love it if there were some able knowledged people who can do spritework for it help me out. anyone who can help tell me how to make an automated intro is welcome too!
don't worry, there will be lion sora, and and , there will also probably be a ashachu.

]]> ~admael7014 http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/14540998/ http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/14540998/ Sat, 08 Sep 2007 06:05:08 PDT
I've got a futon couch to sleep on and everything moved in except for my desk, bookshelf and parent's twenty year old loveseat. I'm on a good budget that'll keep me from worrying as long as I work 40 hrs a week. I'll have to save up for a tv to play anything that isn't on my comp.

As far a as supplies, I'm set there too! Aside from something else that I'm going to get later, I've got all the food I have budgeted for two weeks worth, I've got plates and silverware even tupperware! tolitries, vaccuum, toaster oven, and nearly everything else I can think of! I have to get bathroom cleaning stuff later, but I'll get there.
Hmmm, there goes the connection again...

Note to all those guys who focus on their relationship needs: I have no plans whatsoever of introducing a female aspect to the apartment to be used like you would. (I see no reason to not be a virgin just for the sake of not being one. Loads of people have admired this about me, so I feel I must hold my standard higher because of it)

Friends (If I forget, I sowrry)


Colb, I KNOW you don't mind, but I have put re-writing your fic on hold for now in favor for mine. Not that I have much time for either, but I feel responsible for letting you know. love what you've done in the last part btw.
Everyone needs to read 's fic! don't have a link but that'll be fixed soon... I think. I'm typing and I still don't have a connection.

]]> ~admael7014 http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/14362619/ http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/14362619/ Mon, 27 Aug 2007 10:00:56 PDT I have too move out cause my folks and I are bumping heads a lot and a lot of other crazy stuff. I've put my name in a few places and expect to hear from them relatively soon.
I won't be able to online much more. I'm outta the houshold in a week. It's doubtful that I'll get internet for a while. I guess I'm saying goodbye, for now.

]]> ~admael7014 http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/13920275/ http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/13920275/ Sat, 28 Jul 2007 22:14:40 PDT He wrote down all his thoughts that he had, no matter how weird they were or inconsistent they were. so here I go... in a few...

Hmmm, what should I write about. writing, I need to work on my story.No, don't! you don't know what you're doing. Ash. Misty, I'm coming! Mewtwo... Mew... Sarah! the labyrinth, life is a maze, and by the time you get out you're ... what is the purpose of life... To bring glory, hmm, so what is glory. what makes it glory. a tree, sun shining directly down upon it. Mana, the source of all power, and yet in every story power is abused, and those who abuse it are evil. does the abuse make them evil. Am I evil. With all I've done... FALL CREATURE AND FEED THE EARTH. Link, stop falling into the lava! levitate! the amount of energy it would take for a witch to hold herself a foot in the air would take as much strength as lifting her own weight abouve her head. If we're all for one world there's a world for us all. does that mean seperate ones, or one really big one. if it's true, then it can't be this one... No idea is original, so IF all original ideas come from God, so what? wait! there was a passage saying something about the end of this world. THIS WORLD! what if the ideas that are allowed to come to man were plans for other worlds that are really going to be made! What IF I REALLY CAN HAVE MY ONLY SELFISH WISH!
*calms self and starts over*
Digimon, cowards. those who leave the fighting to others. others first. mario, bowser, are they related? SORA! those whit strong hearts, are able to weild a keyblade. a sword, with two blades, and a light blue tint to it, not made out of mythril, but adamantite. everybody gets the colors backwards, doncha know? Basil stag hare. glutton, hmm, better keep him away from my bro. I wonder if there really would have been a snake that only eats fruits. would matthias have let it in? even if it meant no harm. the appearance of danger is more intimidating than danger itself. headache, tylenol, metal shavings. flight of dragons, the majesty of flight is one that few have dreamed of, and yet only one human had acheived it through natural means, and yet he is no longer human. it's kinda too bad that cloning is still imperfect in any world... now that I think of it, there's a lot of weird things going on with the weather. why can I feel the weather, it's not that I can control it, but I know what the sky will do within days and not hear any forecasts. what's the difference between a hot and cold front... why is the open in new tab part of the sub menu still showing on the top of my screen?
Stupid Macrosoft.

That'll sum it for now. I'm still a little gloomy (see previous journal to understand), but I'll be okay eventually, I think... How long it'll take to get there, I haven't the fainest idea.

I encourage anyone who wants to, to give this a shot. But don't try doing it like mine. I fear that my typing and my insitence of correcting errors slowed down my thoughts and made it more sensible than it (probably) really was.

]]> ~admael7014 http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/13866880/ http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/13866880/ Tue, 24 Jul 2007 22:12:36 PDT But as the thunder rolls, I barely hear you wisper through the rain, "I'm with you"
And as your mercy falls, I'll raise my hands, and I'll praise the God who gives and takes away.

And I'll praise you in this storm. And I will lift my hands, for you are who you are, no matter where I am. And every tear I've cried, you hold in your hand. You've never left my side. And though my heart is torn, I will praise you in this storm.

I remember when I stumbled in the wind, you heard my cry, you raised me up again.
My strength is almost gone how can I carry on? If I can't find you?
And as the thunder rolls, I barely hear you wisper through the rain, "I'm with you"
And as your mercy falls, I'll raise my hands, I'll praise the God who gives and takes away.

But I'll praise you in this storm. And I will lift my hands, for you are who you are, no matter where I am. And every tear I've cried, you hold in your hand. You've never left my side. And though my heart is torn, I will praise you in this storm.

I lift my eyes unto the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of Heaven and Earth.
(c) Casting Crowns
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Life had been okay for a second, and yet it has all gone sour. what am I doing wrong? I don't feel His presence like I used to. My folks can't make up their minds whether they want to take all my money or support me emotionally, and that's when they even try to guess at what I'm feeling.
I don't know what's wrong, but I can't focus because of it. I had to drop nearly all of my courses at college. I long to go places that I know I cannot ever go. (only because they're tv shows...)
I'm depressed and don't know why. I try to pin it on my folks and work, and yet I know deep down that it's not them. I think it's a promise that I had been given, and yet it hasn't been fulfilled.
It's always been said that He works on a different schedule than anyone would have imagined, and yet I don't understand why the inaction.
I don't feel like I belong at my church anymore, I don't recognize anyone anymore, and not a single person has bothered to ask me directly what / how I'm doing (and yet they'll bug my folks to death about me.) I don't belong in school because I can't devote myself to my studies because of my inner conflict. I don't feel like I should be working, but I can't explain why, and I have to in order to pay my bills.
My enemy through it all has been trying to get me to escape, mainly through suicide. And yet, I refuse to. I have too much to look forward to, especially when the promise made to me is fulfilled. I take it as proof that I'm going to be a threat to him later and he wants to get rid of me now. (It's one of the few encouragements I have left.)
I'm not even sure why I'm writing this, since the total of all of my journal pageviews isn't even 100 and the comments aren't worth mentioning.
What do I have yet to learn?
The psycologist that I saw today thought the reason I stopped taking the anti-depressant was just because of my ego/pride, and yet I can't bring myself to tell her or my folks that I'm tempted to use the meds in the wrong way due to the enemy. It would hurt them too much for me to bear, for them to know I think this way.
I can't bring myself to tell suu999 that she and I won't be more than friends because of a lot of issues (faith, maturity on both ends and other things like that). She'd get more depressed than I am right now, and I would feel responsible for it even if (very small likelyhood) it wasn't my fault.
What am I supposed to do?
Is it something I have yet to learn? or a punishment for something already done?
I just don't know anymore...

]]> ~admael7014 http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/13698578/ http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/13698578/ Wed, 11 Jul 2007 17:27:50 PDT YEAY! I've gotten a new job within a week of being removed from my earlier one! *starts dancing on ceiling, completly ingnoring the rules of gravity*

Now that I have to clean my ceiling (stupid muddy shoes), I let you all know that I now work in Kroger instead of headache restaurant. Much better overall.

I'm also letting you know that while I HAVE gotten the next chapter out for my fic *dance*, I HAVE NOT finished it *sad*. So expect to see more changes within about a week-ish time. So... don't be surprised. MAYbe after I'm done with this chapter, I go to work on 's fic more. I miss working on it.

I think that about sums it up.
I am tired of repeating myself, but PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! (did I say it enough? Maybe not.) PLEASE! Tell me your thoughts on my fic. I have no idea what you like about it. (i know you do) I need to know WHY. LET ME KNOW. This is how I expect to get better at this, so you WILL participate in this following Q. (so forget what your mamma told you about your Ps and Qs and do it!)

WHO WILL WIN IN THE BATTLE OF POSSESION/OWNERSHIP/ETC...?
WHAT DO YOU THINK WILL HAPPEN NEXT?
If you would like to answer some other q, go right ahead, heck, even ask one for all I care.

Partner in fantasy, fiction, as well as in life:
Admires:
friends:
Keeps an eye on:

]]> ~admael7014 http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/13633827/ http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/13633827/ Fri, 06 Jul 2007 12:03:51 PDT I got back from cornerstone this past sunday afternoon... I loved being out with my youth group, but I really would have rather avoided the loud subwoofers that blew the fabric hiding them out by about a yard/meter. Other than that, It's all good.
I found out that my work hadn't scheduled me for ten days straight ever since I was available. I figured something was wrong and asked them about it, and they said I'm no longer employed with them. When I asked why, all they could do is make up a lame excuse that over the past month, I'd left the store early four times. They convienently forgot that they were the ones who told me to leave in the first place. oh well, if they have to make something up that lame, I'd be better off outta there anyway.
I'd gotten a pretty good head start on my story because of that, so be expecting an update sometime within the next week (unless finding a new job isn't taking up my waking hours.)
BTW, I'M STILL WAITING TO HEAR FROM ALL OF YOU ON WHAT YOU THINK WILL HAPPEN IN THE BATTLE FOR OWNERSHIP! I DON'T EXPECT YOU TO BE TOO DETAILED, BUT FOR CRYING OUT LOUD SAY SOMETHING LIKE, "Misty will get another chance" AND MAYBE INCLUDE WHY YOU THINK IT.
I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING AS YOU READ THE PLOT, IT'S REALLY HARD WHEN YOU STAY CLAMMED UP LIKE A SHELDER!
Umm, I didn't mean to yell...
Partner:.................................Girlfriend:.............admires:
..............................................
Friends:
+ + +
keeps an eye on:
-

]]> ~admael7014 http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/12957382/ http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/12957382/ Mon, 14 May 2007 18:45:07 PDT I was reading TarathielLyris' journal entry, when I had this idea below

I have a few characters below. You may ask all of them (or a couple) up to five questions and they will answer honestly. There's one catch (and if you did the three questions, you know what's coming.) You need to do this in your journal too (if you have a story, and it can even be one that no one has seen. Just explain a little. So here it goes...

Lycian: Pokemon and the Shapeshifter
Arlie: Future story in the making...
Loqua: Same Future story in the making...
Giovanni: Pokemon and the Shapeshifter
Myself: real life.

I'll start with some example q's.

What is the most memorable time of your life?
Lycian: Flying in the air above pallet town with Misty nearby. It was great to just be alone for a while.
Loqua: When I was told by my examiner that I was able to take a part in the Government project! I could finally set myself above the other students! With all expenses paid!
Arlie: probably the same thing as Loqua, but I also remember when I helped defend some people from the rouge attacks by evil whats-his-name. I forget
Giovanni: Leave me alone. If I can't have some quiet in this cell, I won't be able to plot to overthrow you.
Myself: hmmm... I'm not sure. I remember in sophmore year, about three years back. I went to visa versa with suu999, and when we went slow dancing. That was fun. (too bad I didn't admit it at the time.)

Do you have any special abilities?
Lycian: Shapeshifting, strange applications of physics that defy all logic...
Loqua: I can turn into an otter anytime I want! My friend, fomph the otter, can talk to me too. Except he's prone to only talk to me. Magic is cool too I guess.
Arlie: I can turn into a Lion when I need to. I can't seem to do much else though. When the author told me about Aslan, I learned I REALLY need to watch how I act.
Giovanni: CAN'T You leave me alone for one second? GUARDS! *mutters obsenities to himself*
Myself: none that were allowed to be kept. It was a good thing though.

Parter:.................................Girlfriend:.............admires:
..............................................
Friends:
+ + +
keeps an eye on:
-

DON'T FORGET!!! I AM ALSO LOOKING FOR OTHER PEOPLE'S PREDICTIONS ON WHAT WILL HAPPEN IN THE BATTLE FOR OWNERSHIP IN MY FIC. PLZ TRY TO GUESS. even though the results are in stone.

]]> ~admael7014 http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/12946910/ http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/12946910/ Sun, 13 May 2007 20:46:08 PDT Easily within the first hour of working (9:00-10) I had more grouchy people to find places for than I knew what to do with. After 930, I ended up needing to take over another person's job on the side. We were out of chocolate milk and white. Replacing the white was easy, but the five gallon container of chocolate milk burst all over my sleeve. Ironically, as I tried to stop this cascade of Willy Wonka's goodness from getting on our "Guests," I repeated the lines that I learned from fast food for my mantra.
"I love my job, I love my job, I love my job, I love my job, I love my job, I love my job, I love my job, I love my job, I love my job, I love my job, I love my job, I love my job, I love my job, I love my job, I love my job, I love my job, I love my job, I love my job, I love my job, I love my job." RIIIIIGHT...
After that you could probably fill in the gaps of what else happened. Although one person was particularly rude to me after that. I accidently knocked a few bowls in our dish cart over and made a small clincking noise, and she stood up from the booth next to me and said, "Excuse You." Before I could ask what was wrong, she sat down and acted like nothing happened. Needless to say, I quickly rushed to the bathroom where I could escape and avoid a trip to the unemployment office.
I know it sounds Like I'm griping, but this sums up my day. I felt worse for the girls on the floor! No one was tipping. NO ONE. The largest tip that I heard and saw was fifty bucks. (for those of you who think that's a lot, divide that by the eight hours that they worked.) Typically, a good waitress could get close to triple digits, and even though our best were out there, it ws horrid. (One gal was particularly heartbroken, only $17 in the first five hours!)
--------------------------------------------
On the flipside, I am quite happy that I'm back in the mood for writing stories. Colby, I'm only kinda-sorta working on yours at the moment. I still haven't read your last chapter, but I'll get there and give you feedback. Keep an eye out for any updates to my fic! I should be ready soon the way I'm chugging away at it!

everyone else, check out colby's fic. That's an order.

Parter:
colb-a-nater

Friends: aside from colby
suu999 (girlfriend and fellow buffet worker)
tarathiellyris (graduated High School with him)
lightsaga (Talked spanish with him.)
probably quite a few others that I've forgotten at the moment let me know if you're left out and I'll fix.
------------------------------------
one last thing. For those who have read my fic, tell me what you think is going to happen in the battle for ownership and even how, if you dare... Any other predictions that you'd like to see or think will happen, let me know.
3 qs is still allowed

]]> ~admael7014 http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/12799718/ http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/12799718/ Tue, 01 May 2007 06:33:17 PDT [link]
I am soooo depressed. And without motivation or inspiration too.
I have failed Biology. My teacher keeps giving me next to nothing in points for homework, and that's assuming she'll say I did turn it in. According to her, I've got over eight 0's.
I've failed english. My teacher only just let me know that he couldn't find my paper from two months ago and if I don't turn it in he'll be forced to fail me by default. I can't find anything on my computer other than my backup, which ironically only has the first page of the rough draft. I don't have the heart to redo what's already been done.
I've failed my games design class. That I don't feel so bad about because the coding is a year beyond what I've ever had and the math is somewhere beyond Calculus II. He's a really cool guy too. I may have said I'd fail his class to get him again, but I'd never thought it'd really happen.
Speaking of math, I'm in pre-calc and it's not doing so well either. Despite math being my best subject, he always needs you to do it his way. If you solve using another meathod, he'll write ????? all over your test and give you one point (even out of ten and even if you got the right answer). I'll be lucky if I get a C.
Very few things are keeping me sane anymore. My writing is one, suu999 for another, and my youth group too.
I'm hoping to meet with suu999 reeeeaaaall soon. I could use it right now. I know she could too.
As for your fic colb-a-nater, it's included in one of the things keeping me sane. I can still work on your fic with the same quality as always. I seem to be working on my writing so much I almost wonder whether I should consider being an author. But I'm too bummed to look into it.
So much for that anti-depressant.
BTW, I'm still willing to do the three question thing if that's still going on.

]]> ~admael7014 http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/12664795/ http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/12664795/ Fri, 20 Apr 2007 07:49:55 PDT
On a side note, I find it strange that I can do so well on any literary piece or writing so long as it's not connected to school.

Yet another side note, I wonder what is happening to me at the moment cause i'm now on day two and a half for an average body temp of 101 degrees! It sounds hot, but I feel completely normal. I hope this just means I'm being prepared for what I think it is...

]]> ~admael7014 http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/12651472/ http://admael7014.deviantart.com/journal/12651472/ Thu, 19 Apr 2007 06:41:48 PDT I'm going to be very surprised if I pass some of my classes. I have yet to have turned in two english papers, I missed a bio lab due to work, and my games design class is going over my head with the use of OOP (object oriented programming) and I barely can use lvl 1 c++ right.
I want to see suu999 right now. Her and my youth group.
last night I ran a 100.5 deg temp and yet I was freezing. it was my only symptom and I still have it now at school. The strangest thing is that I'm still fine. I have very little rest, sleep is less restful than waking. It almost seems like I'm being prepared for something, and I can only hope it is what I think it is.
oh, and to TarathielLyris, DUH I LIKE HER! not to be mean, but after being with her for nearly five years it's hard not to.
D*** I've wanted to say that. that was for you Suu

]]> ~admael7014