http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:agentfae&section=today deviantART RSS for by:agentfae en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Fri, 18 Dec 2009 07:52:30 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/18226975/ http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/18226975/ Thu, 08 May 2008 13:11:09 PDT
]]> ~agentfae http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/12553260/ http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/12553260/ Wed, 11 Apr 2007 12:29:58 PDT
anyways. i graduate in two weeks. woop! im kinda excited about that.

]]> ~agentfae http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/12438632/ http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/12438632/ Tue, 03 Apr 2007 00:23:23 PDT
]]> ~agentfae http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/12155304/ http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/12155304/ Mon, 12 Mar 2007 11:07:14 PDT
i work like a dog. all day every day. My day's off are usually the days i have class. -sigh-.

and if i have a for real day off.... i spend it with my new friends.

yes i said new friends. It appears that my circle of friends changes as much as my interest in boys does. Moving on seems like to be the only option for me. Constantly moving, constantly changing, changing friends, changing lifestyles.... hopefully always for the better. i'd like to think so.

]]> ~agentfae http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/10525457/ http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/10525457/ Fri, 27 Oct 2006 08:35:27 PDT
Things are back to normal with my friends again.

The art bug has bit me. I think it might have something to do with the season's changing.

i sure love fall.

Kids Like Us is playing tonight. I'm so excited. I'm going to be photographing them. Who knows how thats gonna turn out but i'm totally excited for it.

]]> ~agentfae http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/10455519/ http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/10455519/ Fri, 20 Oct 2006 12:22:57 PDT
I'm not falling madly in love with a boy anymore. As a matter of fact, approximately 12 days later he broke up with me. Since then it's been a long solitary journey with my friends.

Over the course of 6 months. i've grown close with 7 to 10 really unique personalities. These are the kinds of friends that will troll along with you for life; regardless of distance, situation, or status.

I can't say i'm depressed because i know i'm not anymore but i'm not happy either. I feel like i'm failing at life. At becoming a responsible adult. I'm 22. According to all plans and hopes i had made growing up i should be married already (or engaged). I'd hoped to be DONE with school instead of still working on getting my A.A. I'd hoped to be living on my own, which i still do not. I dont even drive. I think about these things every day and remember that not TWO years ago i WAS engaged and i WAS on my way to fullfilling all those things. Although i'm mentally stable now i can't help but wish to trade it in for all that i thought i had before. These hopes, failures haunt me day in and out lately. I cry on a semi daily basis AND STILL.... i have no motivation to work at things harder. I have no ambition so to speak of that could take the place of lack of motivation. I just got none of it. I dont care to put that kind of energy into anything anymore.

I've grown weary of my professors telling me to go to a MAJOR art school. To push a little harder so that i can be an artist. I dont want to make a living as an artist. I am an artist and i just want to live my life.

Despite everything.... EVERYTHING. i know for sure that no matter what happens to me or how i feel, i MUST keep moving. I MUST keep finding the things that make every day live-able to me. I MUST keep trying to some how at my own pace get to where i'd like to end up.

For now... and as always.
I have art. i have my friends. I have my memories both painful and wonderful.

]]> ~agentfae http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/7764884/ http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/7764884/ Tue, 31 Jan 2006 19:15:33 PST

Listening to: Motion City Soundtrack- When You're Around

It went decent. WAY better than i expected thats for sure. All the schools i was interested in were interested in me.

Things are completely different that the last post written here.

There is no Art Cru. I go to school to make artwork not to soak and let creative interaction with peers affect my life and art.

I'm still falling madly in love with a boy. I dont know when i'll stop falling.

RXe

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Mood: my life is awesome
Listening to: 2 Live Crew- Hoochie Momma

They accepted me into the Chicago Art Institute. It was a huge ego boost.

I met a boy who i'm totally falling madly in love with.

The art crew are seriously like my 2nd family and i love it.

I love my friends, my life, my situation at this moment.

if only i could stop being afraid of just gettin on it and start doin some crazy work it would be awesome.

RXe

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Mood: I'm FREAKEN OUT MAN!
Listening to: Beethoven-Moonlight Sonata

Chicago Art Institute is coming to view portfolios today at school. All the Advanced Students are REQUIRED to turn in their portfolios for review. However, the teacher is also requiring me to turn mine in as a beginner. This is officially my 1st portfolio review ever and i'm seriously like ready to have a melddown.

I just realized that i gave ALL my good prints to my X-fiance (which he still probably has hanging up in his room cause it was some good work). So i have NOTHING to show for printmaking. BIG DOWNER! If only it was anyone else on the planet... i know if i asked him for my work back i'd get a little can filled with ashes. -shakes fist-

So i'm showing my old sketchbook, a portfolio i have with some of my photomanipulations, photography, photojournalism, nature photography & My drawing progressions.

I ate breakfast and i think i'm going to puke...

All i want is for the guy to tell me that i've been improving and it's OK but not that it's horrible or "not up to par with what they are looking for".... just want it to be ok.

RXe

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|||||||||| ~agentfae http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/6479196/ http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/6479196/ Sun, 11 Sep 2005 17:32:14 PDT

Mood: awesome
Listening to: Fall Out Boy- Calm Before the Storm

No time, Just art. Mondays thru thrusdays i dont even have time to breath. the only thoughts that run through my head are "paint, draw, paint, draw, porportion, porportion, porportion, skeleton, shape, then shade, forshadowing, Dramatic lighting" I've realized that i talk to myself about what i'm drawing. I find it a little creepy cause i'll be thinking about what i'm drawing and then i catch myself mumbling what i'm thinking. whatever it's working cause i'm progressing... i know i'm progressing. I just need a break... it sux that i have 4 days of like rigorous mental/physical learning and then the 3 days i should be resting i have to study for my required classes and keep practicing what i learned during the week. What i find awesome is that i'm pushing myself. FOr once i'm the one that's like no you're going to sit here until you're done with it. No breaks. You're going to stay later and draw. You're going to TRY or DIE learning to master this. I'm so psyched and exhausted. I dont even care that i've barely gone out but i am starting to feel the aftermath of all work and no play on my person.

RXe

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||||||||||http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/6016584/ Sat, 23 Jul 2005 21:28:43 PDT

Mood: awesome
Listening to: Fall Out Boy- Calm Before the Storm

hey guys, i was actually looking at my prints section and noticed how ridicously out dated it is. The thing is i dunno which pix i should make into prints... so, friend or foe if you want a pic i have up here to be a print comment

<3
- r o x i e

RXe

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Some of the Bands Photographed: Target Nevada,
24:HOURS TO:LIVE, http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/5199667/ Tue, 26 Apr 2005 23:07:31 PDT



Click to buy clothes, stickers, postcards, posters, and more made by me!

Mood: Renewed
Listening to: N.E.R.D.- Maybe

i haven't written in fo' eva.. i can draw now... and ima learn how to paint dis commin fall... im excited. lets see... i started taking pictures again so hopefully i'll be able to crank out some good photographs, or mix media, or just drawings.... who knows... i'm happy i love art, friends, music, and myself.

RXe

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Some of the Bands Photographed: Target Nevada,
24:HOURS TO:LIVE, http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/4442219/ Sat, 29 Jan 2005 02:03:44 PST



Click to buy clothes, stickers, postcards, posters, and more made by me!

Mood: Renewed
Listening to: N.E.R.D.- Maybe

I started drawing classes 3 weeks ago. It's quickly become my life... i do nothing more than sit at home and draw all day. my soul and changing me into someone new... i can't explain it... it's like a whole new thing to me... i have become a creator and the things that used to seem like normal everyday things are now the things that seem interesting to me. So i record it in my sketchbook... first as a skeleton and then when i am complete it is a drawing... a little record just for me of things i see. My life... is one of odd shapes, gloss and technicolor... nothing is the color it's supposed to be in my head.

RXe

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Click to buy clothes, stickers, postcards, posters, and more made by me!

Listening to: N.E.R.D.- Maybe

As of yet i'm back on a slumpy haitus. There are a bunch of shows booked for september throughout October that i have to go shoot. A plethora of which will be submitted for deviation viewing.

My personal life and school are really stifling my creativity. I haven't really been into doing personal shoots as of yet. I don't seem to find the time.

I'm meeting a lot of fresh new faces in the world. Perhaps i shall be able to get some time to myself with my one of my girls and have a session. The question remains as to WHEN.

I've settled into this "Nothing i take is good enough" idea... i don't know how to get out of it. I feel like i'm not a professional, well i know i'm not. I don't know how to get there.... and it fustrates me.

RXe

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Some of the Bands Photographed: http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/3012855/ Sat, 31 Jul 2004 17:36:31 PDT



Click to buy clothes, stickers, postcards, posters, and more made by me!

Listening to: The Postal Service- Such Great Heights

pix galore... i'm thinking of starting to take pix of myself again.... or of my models in general. I've been out of the click-flash mode in such a long time...

i really enjoyed the last sets i posted up. Lots of energy, great bands, good pictures (in my opinion at least).

More to come... stay tuned

RXe

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Some of the Bands Photographed: Target Nevada,
http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/2862488/ Mon, 12 Jul 2004 08:18:31 PDT



Click to buy clothes, stickers, postcards, posters, and more made by me!

Listening to: Embrace Today-Buried

The guys are finally putting together some home shows. So i'm back in action (some what). We have a Comeback Kid show coming up which i'm totally excited for.

The most recent pix are of Dreams You Die In. They added 3 new members and dismissed one. The new singer is coincidentally my husband.

After taking some time away from photography i'm not too dissappointed with how this set turned out there is one picture that i wish wouldn't have come out so "faded" i'll say for lack of proper vocabulary. But regardless i'm proud of the band and my set.

I'll come back... i know i've been off... but i'll be back

RXe

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Click to buy clothes, stickers, postcards, posters, and more made by me!

Listening to: Sublime- Summertime

I've been on hyatus again. I don't know if i'm going to be able to pull off the next artshow but i think i should give it a shot at least.

Updated the Magicfest pictures (which i'm kind of dissappointed at myself with).

I WILL get out of this funk.

RXe

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Some of the Bands Photographed: Target Nevada,
24:HOURS TO:LIVE, ~agentfae http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/2597233/ http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/2597233/ Thu, 10 Jun 2004 12:13:06 PDT Mood: too busy for life
Watching: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

I started a so check on the every week and uhh...... ?



Click to buy clothes, stickers, postcards, posters, and more made by me!

RXe

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Some of the Bands... ]]> ~agentfae http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/2549402/ http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/2549402/ Tue, 01 Jun 2004 03:53:15 PDT Mood: too busy for life
Watching: LOTR- The Two Towers

haven't been posting much due to school.

i need to make time for dini, k-la, pooka, prochoice, & another nat shoot.

all my friend have been on tour so no show pix as of late but maybe in the next two weeks something will come up.

RXe

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Some of the Bands Photographed: Target Nevada,
24:HOURS TO:LIVE, ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE , Glasseater, Tessai, Stretch Armstrong, On Broken Wings, ~agentfae http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/2476731/ http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/2476731/ Fri, 21 May 2004 12:05:47 PDT
made $100 cash just for body painting me. She sold 3 prints on the spot. We both had a lot of our cards passed around.

I didn't sell anything at the show but i have hope people will call/email me. It's really kind of a downer to see my best friend do so well. I dont envy her at all i'm so proud of her and i'm glad that i did all that i did to get her into and set up for the show. I just wish i had a such a good crowd response as her.

i wanna do more shows.

]]> ~agentfae http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/2434090/ http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/2434090/ Sat, 15 May 2004 11:33:37 PDT Mood: art saved my life
Listening to: Love Is- Sublime



RXe

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Some of the Bands Photographed: Target Nevada,
24:HOURS TO:LIVE, ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE , Glasseater, Tessai, Stretch Armstrong, On Broken Wings, Where Fear and Weapons Meet, & The Mutual Funds

-----BRUSHES-----
Many of the brushes used were created by: <... ]]> ~agentfae http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/2408140/ http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/2408140/ Fri, 14 May 2004 14:41:59 PDT
RXe

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Some of the Bands Photographed: Target Nevada,
24:HOURS TO:LIVE, ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE , Glasseater, Tessai, Stretch Armstrong, On Broken Wings, Where Fear and Weapons Meet, & The Mutual Funds

-----BRUSHES-----
Many of the brushes used were created by: ~agentfae http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/2388670/ http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/2388670/ Mon, 10 May 2004 17:42:46 PDT
Although i should be working on the Nat shoot i've been under too much stress to work.... perhaps within the next week or so i can dish something out.

RXe

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Some of the Bands Photographed: Target Nevada,
24:HOURS TO:LIVE, ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE , Glasseater, Tessai, Stretch Armstrong, On Broken Wings, Where Fear and Weapons Meet, & The Mutual Funds

-----BRUSHES-----
Many of the brushes used were created by: ~agentfae http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/2254918/ http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/2254918/ Tue, 20 Apr 2004 04:52:42 PDT
Do you breath?

Do you not Breath?

How do you control doing something that is the reason why you live from interfering with your back up plan?

photographs, postcards, burlesque, life, tears.... that's all i seem to know

RXe

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Some of the Bands Photographed: Target Nevada,
24:HOURS TO:LIVE, ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE , Glasseater, Tessai, Stretch Armstrong, On Broken Wings, Where Fear and Weapons Meet, & The Mutual Funds

-----BRUSHES-----
Many of the brushes used were created by: http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/2234357/ Fri, 16 Apr 2004 09:26:51 PDT FINALLY got my computer back. I had to wipe out the hard drive but thankfully i had everything on back up cds (including my PS7).

Submitted all of the pix from the orchid show and the Harley Party.

For next week i'll have to submit all the pix from the last two shows.

i'm so excited and happy. I'M BACK! I'M BACK IN ACTION!!!

i've been thinking about a series i want to do called "pro choice". It's a political piece... more to come.

blessed be

RXe

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Some of the Bands Photographed: Target Nevada,
24:HOURS TO:LIVE, ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE , Glasseater, Tessai, Stretch Armstrong & The Mutual Funds

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Many of the brushes used were created by: http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/2180814/ Thu, 08 Apr 2004 17:33:04 PDT
my computer is still down so i will have at least 80 submissions to add when i'm back in full swing.

until then... i am back on hyatus.

-sighs- i miss my computer, my tablet, my adobe, my pictures.

I've gotten better at just normal photography and i've also expanded onto photographing motorcycles.

until the day comes... capture, create, and expose

RXe

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Some of the Bands Photographed: Target Nevada,
24:HOURS TO:LIVE, ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE , Glasseater, Tessai, Stretch Armstrong & The Mutual Funds

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Many of the brushes used were created by: http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/2130042/ Fri, 02 Apr 2004 04:43:03 PST
I currently have no computer, no adobe, no place to load the pix from my camera, no tablet, no music to listen to, nothing.... not until monday... and i have an orchid show to shoot this weekend, a term paper to write, and a study guide to fill out.

I'm scared of losing the artwork on my computer. I mean i think i have everthing on backup discs but i'm still stressed out about it.

i want everything to be ok... i need a break and i need things to be just a little things to stop interfering in my life

RXe

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Some of the Bands Photographed: Target Nevada,
24:HOURS TO:LIVE, ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE , Glasseater, Tessai, Stretch Armstrong & ~agentfae http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/2121322/ http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/2121322/ Fri, 02 Apr 2004 04:39:41 PST Your 333 deviations were viewed 2,490 times, with 5,521 fullsize views.
Overall, people left 307 comments and added your deviations to their favourites 18 times.
Your most commented deviation was Try to Forget him with 11 comments, while your most favourited one was "Larger People" with 2 favourites.
Average comments per deviation: 0.92
Average favourites per deviation: 0.05
1 Favourites were given for every 10 Comments
Every 0 days you upload a new deviation, and you uploaded 48% (161) of your deviations on Mondays, while your favorite time of the day during the week to upload is at 11 AM with 98 deviations.
Your busiest month was January 2004 with 93 (28%) deviations.


Stats provided by ~micahgoulart @ Ingenial.com [link]

RXe

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Some of the Bands Photographed: Target Nevada,
24:HOURS TO:LIVE, ALL HELL BREAKS LOO... ]]> ~agentfae http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/2113944/ http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/2113944/ Tue, 30 Mar 2004 06:46:01 PST
My life has consisted of art, school, HxC, and shows. My weekends feel like nothing. I am in definate need of a break.

If i'm not taking pictures at a show. I'm taking pictures for something else or preparing for the 3 art show cases that i'm applying for.

My most recent conquest is being exhibited on Eve Interrupted's latest art show. I really want to get in. I have high hopes and i'm a little confident that i will be accepted.

I really would love to take pictures of bands soon... two weeks away. I can only hope that the crowds and bands are as anxious and excited as i am.

RXe

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Some of the Bands Photographed: Target Nevada,
24:HOURS TO:LIVE, ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE , Glasseater, Tessai, http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/2060349/ Thu, 25 Mar 2004 14:10:47 PST Feel free to bask in my photographical GLORY!

Next weekend i'm gonna take pictures of the plane making excitement.

I could not be in a better photographical state of mind. It's not the camera you own but how you control it. I could use a point and shoot camera and still get the same quality pictures as i would with a 500 dollar camera.

um... yes... i love my life... and the people in it... especially my best friend who will support me forever in my endevours.

RXe

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Some of the Bands Photographed: Target Nevada,
24:HOURS TO:LIVE, ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE , Glasseater, Tessai, Stretch Armstrong & The Mutual Funds

-----BRUS... ]]> ~agentfae http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/2024155/ http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/2024155/ Mon, 22 Mar 2004 05:14:55 PST
That's right The Combat Agency is back in action for the next couple of weeks. We're having Stretch Armstrong come down on saturday and i'm so more than ready to take them on. The crowd is going to be amazing i just feeling. I'm growing really anxious (in a good way) for the summer to come out and to get the chance to sell my prints when 24:HOURS TO:LIVE tour. I just want some exposure and i want kids to have pictures of shows all over their walls to remind them how awesome they are

I've learned in the past couple of days that i should keep my voices to myself. Especially when it comes to my artwork. I write so much of my life into it so that people can understand the inspiration or where it came from. When in reality if i take a good photo or do a good manip the picture should convey it all. Hence forth, all photographs and mixed media pieces will only include the model(s)/band name, the hand behind the magic (photographer: me ), and perhaps a small detail on the inspiration.

silent is working better than words now a days.

RXe

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~agentfae http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/1973463/ http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/1973463/ Tue, 09 Mar 2004 19:17:18 PST
Orchids truly amaze me. There are SO many different kinds and with so many different frangrances and colors and just everything about them makes them so unique from one another. They are like people in a way.

I think faeries might live around, near or in orchids.

It really brightened up my day to spend my morning around such wonderful creations.

My personal life however is always a great calamity.

Shows coming up... so i'll be back in business for a couple weeks.

cherrio kiddos

RXe

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Some of the Bands Photographed: Target Nevada,
24:HOURS TO:LIVE, ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE , Glasseater, Tessai & The Mutual Funds

-----BRUSHES-----
Many of the brushes used were created by: asunder, pdtnc-stock, Truly-Sarah, http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/1932657/ Mon, 08 Mar 2004 09:57:14 PST
The little prince is progressing wonderfully. He weighs a full 5 ounces now. The doctor's said he had a stroke while he was in the belly... he might have cerebral palsy... or something like that... It makes me so sad but at the same time it's a good thing because i'm getting to spend lots of time with my godmother, her husband and the baby. I've talked to them more these last few days than i have my entire life. I got to hold him yesterday. It felt amazing.

If i get the internship i move to orlando for a semester... -takes a deeep breath- i'm going to this. it could be the chance of a life time or a hard lesson i have yet to learn.

RXe

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Some of the Bands Photographed: Target Nevada,
24:HOURS TO:LIVE, ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE , Glasseater, Tessai & The Mutual Funds

-----BRUSHES-----
Many of the brushes used were created by: asunder, pdtnc-stock, Truly-Sarah, Nocturna Brushes, Digifox, Digifox Stock , franticbrush & ~agentfae http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/1921524/ http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/1921524/ Mon, 01 Mar 2004 10:47:41 PST SO excited. I fricken grew up watching disney cartoons this could be the coolest thing to ever happen to me. I'm going to give this my best shot. I know i can be something better than an art teacher.

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Many of the brushes used were created by: asunder, pdtnc-stock, Truly-Sarah, Nocturna Brushes, Digifox, Digifox Stock , franticbrush & vanity-insecurity
Note: Please forgive me if i haven't added your burshes but i'm working as quickly as possible to hunt down the creators of my brush sets and crediting them. ]]> ~agentfae http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/1914655/ http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/1914655/ Fri, 27 Feb 2004 09:12:10 PST
i'm still on hytus. I'm trying to catch up in school... i may just possibly take some pix of myself... the new me, sometime soon. We'll see... if i get the muse i might.

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Many of the brushes used were created by: asunder, pdtnc-stock, Truly-Sarah, Nocturna Brushes, Digifox, Digifox Stock , franticbrush & vanity-insecurity
Note: Please forgive me if i haven't added your burshes but i'm working as quickly as possible to hunt down the creators of my brush sets and crediting them. ]]> ~agentfae http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/1893981/ http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/1893981/ Mon, 23 Feb 2004 14:00:15 PST But maybe this could be the best thing that's happened to me
I'm keeping you away
I'm happier this way"

Sometimes you have to realize it's time to let go and if your paths are ment to cross they will again.

Many of the brushes used were created by: asunder, pdtnc-stock, Truly-Sarah, Nocturna Brushes, Digifox, Digifox Stock , franticbrush & vanity-insecurity
Note: Please forgive me if i haven't added your burshes but i'm working as quickly as possible to hunt down the creators of my brush sets and crediting them. ]]> ~agentfae http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/1884910/ http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/1884910/ Sat, 21 Feb 2004 18:33:16 PST
It's truly undescriblable how my new boyfriend makes me feel. We just hung out all day at the LIBRARY and it felt wonderful. It's just this overwhelming joy that i feel every second that i am near or around him. He doesn't provoke fear and he's so easy to be around.

He viewed my gallery today. I can't determined whether he likes my work or not... He's a really hard person on artwork but he liked a couple of my pieces, particularly my recent work which makes me happy.

I feel that i have come along way from when i first dabbled in the arts of photography and photomanips. He makes me feel inspired and worthy and willing to work hard. I want to do a shoot... i know i won't be able to for a long while... but i will see if i can get in contact with one of the RXe models. I feel the need to release all of this, through work.

Many of the brushes used were created by: asunder, pdtnc-stock, Truly-Sarah, Nocturna Brushes, Digifox, Digifox Stock , franticbrush & vanity-insecurity
Note: Please forgive me if i haven't added your burshes but i'm working as quickly as possible to hunt down the creators of my brush sets and crediting them. ]]> ~agentfae http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/1877571/ http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/1877571/ Fri, 20 Feb 2004 12:02:41 PST THIS life to suffer and with this suffering i live, i create the only object that make my content... my artwork.

i hate the world.
i hate my life
i hate the way things are
i hate being in a situation that i can't fix.
i hate being around happy couples
i hate listening or talking about marriage
i hate seeing happy people.
i hate everyone around me
i hate myself
i hate petty attempts to try and make me feel better
i hate people
i hate everything.
I hate feeling helpless

NOTHING is going to fix what is happening. NOTHING i do can make me happy. NOTHING i say will change ANYTHING... NOTHING.... NOTHING will change ANYTHING.

I HATE THE WORLD... i want to just fucking die already.

Many of the brushes used were created by: asunder, pdtnc-stock, Truly-Sarah, Nocturna Brushes, Digifox, Digifox Stock , franticbrush & vanity-insecurity
Note: Please forgive me if i haven't added your burshes but i'm working as quickly as possible to hunt down the creators of my brush sets and crediting them. ]]> ~agentfae http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/1859540/ http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/1859540/ Tue, 17 Feb 2004 06:05:13 PST I will do it by friday.

My wisdom teeth are set to come out tomorrow. i fear for my life. i hate doctors and medicine. I think i will end up working on my pictures after the operation that day since i won't be doing anything much more than going home and taking pain killers.

Hopefully i will have my 1st shoot with one of my models on friday, god/goddess willing.

I feel like i'm slaggin on my art... and at school... i feel like i need to catch up and leave all my other situations behind.

Many of the brushes used were created by: asunder, pdtnc-stock, Truly-Sarah, Nocturna Brushes, Digifox, Digifox Stock , franticbrush & vanity-insecurity
Note: Please forgive me if i haven't added your burshes but i'm working as quickly as possible to hunt down the creators of my brush sets and crediting them. ]]> ~agentfae http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/1816526/ http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/1816526/ Wed, 11 Feb 2004 08:51:12 PST Why weren't we able, to see the signs that we missed
And try turn the tables

I wish you'd unclench your fists, and unpack your suitcase
Lately there's been too much of this
But don't think it's too late

Nothing's wrong, just as long as
You know that someday I will

Someday, somehow
I'm gonna make it all right but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
Someday, somehow
I'm gonna make it all right but not right now
I know you're wondering when

Well I'd hope that since we're here anyway
That we could end up saying
Things we've always needed to say
So we could end up staying
Now the story's played out like this
Just like a paperback novel
Let's rewrite an ending that fits
Instead of a Hollywood horror

Nothing's wrong, just as long as
You know that someday I will

Someday, somehow
I'm gonna make it all right but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
Someday, somehow
I'm gonna make it all right but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)

[Solo]

How the hell did we wind up like this?
Why weren't we able, to see the signs that we missed
And try to turn the tables
Now the story's played out like this
Just like a paperback novel
Let's rewrite an ending that fits
Instead of a Hollywood horror

Nothing's wrong, just as long as
You know that someday I will

Someday, somehow
I'm gonna make it all right but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
Someday, somehow
I'm gonna make it all right but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
I know you're wondering when

Many of the brushes used were created by: asunder, pdtnc-stock, Truly-Sarah, Nocturna Brushes, Digifox, Digifox Stock , franticbrush & vanity-insecurity
Note: Please forgive me if i haven't added your burshes but i'm working as quickly as possible to hunt down the creators of my brush sets and crediting them. ]]> ~agentfae http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/1802707/ http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/1802707/ Fri, 06 Feb 2004 08:26:39 PST
I don't know whose side I'm takin',
but I'm not takin' things to well,
I can see inside you're ache'n,
but is it still too early for me to tell.

I try to help you out through the hardest of times,
your heart is in your throat,
and I'm speaking my mind,
though it looks as if it's over,
I'm still not over you.

I try to let it go
but I don't know if I can take it,
Cause the way you looked at me made me see
that I can't really fake it.
I try to help you out through the hardest of times,
your heart is in your throat,
and I'm speaking my mind,
though it looks as if it's over,
I'm still not over you.

Many of the brushes used were created by: asunder, pdtnc-stock, Truly-Sarah, Nocturna Brushes, Digifox, Digifox Stock & vanity-insecurity
Note: Please forgive me if i haven't added your burshes but i'm working as quickly as possible to hunt down the creators of my brush sets and crediting them. ]]> ~agentfae http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/1791689/ http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/1791689/ Wed, 04 Feb 2004 06:37:56 PST
Many of the brushes used were created by: asunder, pdtnc-stock, Truly-Sarah, Nocturna Brushes, Digifox, Digifox Stock & vanity-insecurity
Note: Please forgive me if i haven't added your burshes but i'm working as quickly as possible to hunt down the creators of my brush sets and crediting them. ]]> ~agentfae http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/1786437/ http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/1786437/ Tue, 03 Feb 2004 05:24:28 PST Michelle Branch- Goodbye To You

Of all the things I've believed in,
I just want to get it over with,
tears form behind my eyes,
but I do not cry,
counting the days that pass me by.

I've been searchin' deep down in my soul;
words that I'm hearin' are starting to get old,
it feels like I'm starting all over again,
The last three years were just pretend,
and I said...

Goodbye to you,
goodbye to everything I thought I knew,
You were the one I loved,
the one thing that I tried to hold onto.

I still get lost in your eyes,
and it seems that I can't live a day without you,
closing my eyes,
and you chase my thoughts away,
to a place where I am blinded by the light,
but it's not right.

Goodbye to you,
goodbye to everything I thought I knew,
You were the one I loved,
the one thing that I tried to hold on to.

Ooh whoa....
and it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time,
I want what's yours and I want what's mine,
I want you,
but I'm not giving in this time.

Goodbye to you,
goodbye to everything I thought I knew,
You were the one I loved,
the one thing that I tried to hold onto
Goodbye to you, (goodbye to you)
goodbye to everything I thought I knew, (goodbye to you)
You were the one I loved,
the one thing that I tried to hold onto,
(the one thing that i tried to hold onto)
the one thing that I tried to hold onto.
(the one thing that i tried to hold onto)

Oh, oh whoa, oh, oh (one thing that i tried to hold onto)
and when the stars fall I will lie awake,
you're my shooting star.

Many of the brushes used were created by: asunder, pdtnc-stock, Truly-Sarah, Nocturna Brushes, Digifox, Digifox Stock & vanity-insecurity
Note: Please forgive me if i haven't added your burshes but i'm working as quickly as possible to hunt down the creators of my brush sets and crediting them. ]]> ~agentfae http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/1765860/ http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/1765860/ Fri, 30 Jan 2004 05:57:33 PST
Many of the brushes used were created by: asunder, pdtnc-stock, Truly-Sarah, Nocturna Brushes, Digifox, Digifox Stock & vanity-insecurity
Note: Please forgive me if i haven't added your burshes but i'm working as quickly as possible to hunt down the creators of my brush sets and crediting them. ]]> ~agentfae http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/1755398/ http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/1755398/ Wed, 28 Jan 2004 08:06:36 PST
Many of the brushes used were created by: asunder, pdtnc-stock, Truly-Sarah, Nocturna Brushes, Digifox, Digifox Stock & vanity-insecurity


Note: Please forgive me if i haven't added your burshes but i'm working as quickly as possible to hunt down the creators of my brush sets and crediting them. ]]> ~agentfae http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/1748857/ http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/1748857/ Tue, 27 Jan 2004 06:41:59 PST
Many of the brushes used were created by: asunder, pdtnc-stock, Truly-Sarah, Nocturna Brushes, Digifox, Digifox Stock & vanity-insecurity


Note: Please forgive me if i haven't added your burshes but i'm working as quickly as possible to hunt down the creators of my brush sets and crediting them. ]]> ~agentfae http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/1727972/ http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/1727972/ Mon, 26 Jan 2004 09:26:57 PST SO black it's blue. The love of my life and best friend breaks up with me and somehow, instead of falling into a pit of despair for weeks and days I feel good. I feel like i've never felt before. Maybe it's because i'm completely ignoring the fact that he and i were ever one. Maybe it's because i can feel that i have changed not only physically but mentally and emotionally.

If he wanted to be with her she would come back... but it would not be the same girl that he ment so many months ago. She would be someone else. I hope he falls in love with this new person i am. As much as the new man he has become is arrogant i still love him.

i love who he has become i just wonder if there will come a day when he loves who i have become.

Many of the brushes used were created by: asunder, pdtnc-stock, Truly-Sarah, Nocturna Brushes, Digifox & Digifox Stock

Note: Please forgive me if i haven't added your burshes but i'm working as quickly as possible to hunt down the creators of my brush sets and crediting them. ]]> ~agentfae http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/1719913/ http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/1719913/ Wed, 21 Jan 2004 18:06:38 PST
]]> ~agentfae http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/1717009/ http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/1717009/ Wed, 21 Jan 2004 08:43:25 PST
]]> ~agentfae http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/1710648/ http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/1710648/ Tue, 20 Jan 2004 13:32:22 PST Him: yes
Her: no
Her: do you love me the same as before... don't think about all the shit that's been going on... think about how you felt in the shower that time you said i love you and that you wanted me to marry you... think about the beach... do you love me like that
Him: no
Her: how long have you been feeling like that about me
Him: like about two weeks
Her: is it because i hit you? because i'm sick... crazy
Him: nope
Him: nothing you did your like the perfect g/f
Her: just not for you
Him: not anymore

This is where i stand in life at the moment. I only want to be locked in a dark room with my camera and a tripod and all the clothes and props i need to take pictures until i have evacuated this feeling out of my body.

but i cannot. i have school and a family who still believes i live the fairytale romance with my boyfriend. So i must put on the mask and play roxie the depressed for no reason artist.

when i find time i'll let go of my feelings.



]]> ~agentfae http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/1672385/ http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/1672385/ Tue, 13 Jan 2004 05:51:12 PST
i bought a year's subscription... i don't really know what this will do for my work... but hopefully all will be good.

RxE

]]> ~agentfae http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/1667693/ http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/1667693/ Mon, 12 Jan 2004 09:21:13 PST
I think i'm getting better at my craft. i have a long way to go but only time will make me better.

i have yet to have my shoot with the girls.

I'm thinking of doing a series with my boyfriend and i together. It would only be natural seeing as how the majority of my photographs are based on my feelings towards the greatest thing to me at the moment.


RxE ]]> ~agentfae http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/1642240/ http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/1642240/ Wed, 07 Jan 2004 08:24:40 PST
Hopefully i'll get to go to a show this weekend and take pictures of the boys. Which will definately add some variety to my work. I just love taking pix of bands... it's were i started.

take care kiddies

RxE ]]> ~agentfae http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/1637237/ http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/1637237/ Tue, 06 Jan 2004 08:14:39 PST
happy new year J4n3t! i love your new icon.

i am sooo glad to be back home.

I must admit that the trip really sprung a well of ideas for my upcoming shoots.

i took oodles of landscape pix... just you wait... i have load to show you kiddies... loads.

Until i post again.. keep up all the wonderful work, you guys never cease to amaze me.


RxE ]]> ~agentfae http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/1568385/ http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/1568385/ Mon, 22 Dec 2003 12:09:18 PST
To sum things up the travel agency stole our money and then called us on the day of our flight to say that the plane was broken. It was a lie and everyone found out. 250 people all families had to go home... The media came, i was on Tv... My mother cried and so did my sisters. I held out as much as i could... but in the end i cried... It was my birthday. Bad things shouldn't happen on your birthday.

I took a bunch of photographs today... there are there for your viewing and critiquing pleasure.

They are more of a release for me... a break from the stabbing ache i feel...

we leave on the 24th to Nicaragua... i hope for better days. ]]> ~agentfae http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/1555305/ http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/1555305/ Fri, 19 Dec 2003 05:31:06 PST
Although i will be offline for almost 3 week i think it will be benefitious to me. It will be time to swallow in some of the natural world. Time to draw and brainstorm on my upcoming shoot this spring. It will be a time to get back to my roots, nature and talk to the few i have ignored for so long, the winds, earth, fires, water and faeries.

Adieu my fellow artists. Enjoy yourselves in the last few days of this year and i will see you when i return.


RxE ]]> ~agentfae http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/1510594/ http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/1510594/ Tue, 09 Dec 2003 08:16:42 PST
The people i have added to watch are quite the inspiration i need to keep trying, creating, personalizing and stylizing my craft. It has encouraged me to indulge thirst for knowledge by imersing myself completely with artstudy courses for the next 3 years...

i will become what i have been since the day i was concieved... an artist in all meanings of the word.

By january i will have my 1st photo shoot... watchers beware there is nothing but greater things to come.


RxE ]]> ~agentfae http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/1488805/ http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/1488805/ Thu, 04 Dec 2003 08:52:38 PST The cards and stars that tumble as they will.
Tomorrow manifests and brings the bill.
For every kiss and kill, the small and great.

you want to know the future? Love? Then wait:
i'll answer your impatient questions still
i'll come to you tonight, dear, when it's late.
You will not see me, you may feel a chill.
i'll wait until you sleep,
then take my fill,
and that will be your future on a plate.

They'll call it CHANCE or LUCK or call it....
F
A
T
E

-Niel Gaiman , Smoke and Mirrors ]]> ~agentfae http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/1488738/ http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/1488738/ Thu, 04 Dec 2003 08:33:39 PST
"I mean", she said. "That i can't help growing older."
"One can't perhaps," said Humpty Dumpty, " but two can. With proper assistance, you might have left off at seven." - Lewis Carrol, Through the Looking Glass. ]]> ~agentfae http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/1479879/ http://agentfae.deviantart.com/journal/1479879/ Tue, 02 Dec 2003 08:34:17 PST
The last piece i created was finished sometime around september of 03'. It's titled in my dreams which is currently my featured deviation.

My digital camera has been broken since february of 03' so i haven't taken any new photos.

However, i am due to get a new one within the next 3 weeks and in 3 weeks i am also taking a trip to my parent's home land of Nicaragua. I plan to use that time to take some really good landscape and poverty type pictures...

over the 9 months that i have been camera less i have kept a record of most of the photo ideas ive had on my livejournal. So when i get back i plan on getting my models together and having a photoshoot....

i apologize for giving you all so much to see and then having to stop it cold turkey for a while... but what is to come is better than i've done...

im thinking of scanning my prints (i have been dabbling into the art of printmaking.) and submitting them on deviant... perhaps even working on adobe with them... who knows... maybe i'll get the motivation since i feel like people are actually interested in my work.

that is all.

<3 ]]> ~agentfae