http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:airlynn&section=today deviantART RSS for by:airlynn en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Fri, 18 Dec 2009 06:18:16 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/26071263/ http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/26071263/ Mon, 20 Jul 2009 17:18:17 PDT I'm entering several contests... some are judging now some judging soon....
either way show your support and vote for me.
the contests are listed here as follows (ill add more to this journal with new contests as the judging for them comes around for the others)...
1. RoLW contest (Ryna) Im airlynn (obviously) [link]


Thanks much guys!

]]> *airlynn http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/24991934/ http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/24991934/ Thu, 28 May 2009 05:41:26 PDT I am going to be in Charlotte, NC at the Hilton University Place all weekend long for a convention. I will be showing and selling artwork there... Things such as original art, paintings, prints of my own works as well as some fan art from a few animes, old school movies and toons, and lots of fairy and dragon related stuff.... I will be there with Jills Lolipop Shack as well as Westward Circle.
If your in the area stop by
8629 JM Keynes Drive
Charlotte, North Carolina, 28262
There will be many other artists, as well as some shows, muscians, and lots of stuff star wars, star trek, fantasy, sci-fi orientated as well as some zombies too....
Come stop by and see me!!!

To see some of the stuff I will be selling: check in throughout the day today and look at new photo updates. (I will be uploading/scanning up until the time of the convention)

]]> *airlynn http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/24792682/ http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/24792682/ Sat, 16 May 2009 19:05:37 PDT

LiveJournal
sketchblog

Myspace

Manga
Revolution

muxtape

Screentonez

My Prints

Fishbowl

and answer my poll on my page....
I am going to a convention and need some last minute ideas on what sort of art to add to the collection for selling at the end of the month.....
It will only take 2 seconds of your time and would be GREATLY APPRECIATED.....
thanks
*HUGS*

]]> *airlynn http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/22010297/ http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/22010297/ Fri, 23 Jan 2009 21:32:02 PST
ART RELATED UPDATES:

Gearing up for a few conventions this year.... on top of school in the near soon to be future I am attending the CON-CAROLINA's convention this year for the first time... (in Charlotte, NC) May 29-31
as well as FANGORIA.... MARCH 6-8, 2009 (Chicago, IL)

in which both events I am working on getting a booth/submissions for... Yay im excited!

SO folks... I need your ideas, or something of interest to maybe assist in something I may be missing and what people would like to see (in the ways of art) here are some topics to help your ideas: I need specifics... I have a few things in mind... but remember Im trying to MAKE money so I would like to know what the public would like to see.

Think:

Horror
Dark Art
Sci-Fi Fantasy
Anime
Comics/Graphic Novels
Star Wars / Star Trek "like" etc
Dragons and Fairies etc

those sort of things...
If anyone has any ideas or specific things: shoot them my way via message....
thanks much!

Just joined PencilJacks and ComicSpace a few days ago in which I have already got some wonderful projects to work on! YAY!!!

You can see art not only on here but also on my art related myspace: [link]

I am currently working on the following:
1. a series of mini paintings for a project
2. getting a gallery up and running....
3. finishing my comic to be ready for the next convention
4. finishing sewing the medieval outfits for the next festival
5. working on revamping a new website
6. several different commission works from ebay
7. working on a database dedicated to "vampires" more info to come soon
8. starting the "Daily Painting" blogs (OISHI)


Personal Updates:

getting a blackberry curve in the mail here shortly too... yay I will have new phone yay!!!!

On another note... looking into internships within the US Museums or overseas... so a near future possibility Im excited about...

O, and I am also going to see Combichrist in Virginia
and then Psyclon Nine (right here in town) 3 days there after that YAY

muwahahahaha ]]> *airlynn http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/21117369/ http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/21117369/ Wed, 22 Oct 2008 20:22:47 PDT Going back to school for my masters degree in Egyptology, which will give me more reason/require me to travel.... Still doing art regularly of course.... and right now doing it for money till I find full time work.
Currently trying to get a job running a museum or work for the Smithsonian.
Other than that not much going on.... visiting with family while i can, and going to travel on a more regular basis now... Also, losing lots of weight to get back to where I was in HS and early years of college. yay!

]]> *airlynn http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/16292469/ http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/16292469/ Tue, 19 Feb 2008 22:06:44 PST Working on Bujinkan/Ninpo website... will be up later this week:
[link]
and my myspace site as always recently updated:
[link]

]]> *airlynn http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/14974303/ http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/14974303/ Mon, 08 Oct 2007 16:51:12 PDT [link]

]]> *airlynn http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/11784352/ http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/11784352/ Mon, 12 Feb 2007 10:14:37 PST
side note: I am now living in Florida and looking for employment...
I am a fabulous cook and worked as a caterer for a long time... I have a graphic arts degree tht id like to utilize as well... Anyone know of anything online or anyone in Florida looking for a designer or caterer??? I could use a source of income lol

I will be updating my profile here this month as everything on here is really old and i have alot of new works to add to the collection...much more improved i might add...

Oh and will update in March as to when my first novel will be available... working on the second of the trilogy now WEEEEEEEEE.

Now for valentines day:
My b/f is getting a necklace made for me by one of his buddies... it looks nice i thought it was a really sweet gift idea too... I just have to find some pictures of my mother... hes having a bust of her engraved into the necklace. im excited to see the end result.
I am making him well i cant say just yet in case he reads this hehehehe...

Happy Valentines Day all!!

]]> *airlynn http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/10347976/ http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/10347976/ Tue, 10 Oct 2006 13:40:04 PDT my more in depth diary which features some lyrics too
my portfolio site
myspace

on a side note here is what has been going on:
Working on Book 2 of my series (very similar to the Pern Series I am finding now lol) will let you know when they are published (early next year)
Working on a new catering menu, sushi featured now.
Working on 2 series of art works one for commissions...they are 10 drawing each.
Working on my large unfinished painting
Working on blueprints for my business
Working on recording 2 songs for novemeber time.
Working here and there on my comic series (based off my novels)
Lots more.

]]> *airlynn http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/10207211/ http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/10207211/ Wed, 27 Sep 2006 18:26:11 PDT -Erin

]]> *airlynn http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/9862914/ http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/9862914/ Sat, 26 Aug 2006 14:05:56 PDT I want to capture and train a squirrel. That way I can go around town with a squirrel on a leash, and anytime anyone gives me shit or anything release my rabid squirrel on the world... Wouldnt it be cute and neat to see a squirrel attacking someone in broad daylight?
I still think its a good idea!
Ok so im in a weird mood so what?
Im aloud to be! its my BDAY and I havent done a damn thing yet (granted I just woke up) hehe.... ]]> *airlynn http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/9787067/ http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/9787067/ Sat, 19 Aug 2006 21:36:04 PDT I dont know anyone here; and jobs suck for payment! not to mention cost of living here in Marquette is the fuckin same as Ann Arbor or Detroit... I have to have 3 fuckin jobs to make the same as what I would make at one just to pay the same amount of rent....I miss home in NC. ]]> *airlynn http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/9192983/ http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/9192983/ Mon, 26 Jun 2006 19:19:24 PDT
I just wanted to let everyone know that some of my artwork will be shown in Marquette Michigan at the 231 Gallery off of washington street. I have 5 peieces in there........ There will be live music, a theatre preformance and the gallery showing then followed with more music and partying.... Please come and show your support... I think they are charging $5 at the door, but it could be free not sure. The meduims used in my peieces are: conte for one, acrylic for one, acyrlic oil and watercolor for another and 2 peices in pastels. The showing/party will be on Saturday July 1st from 6pm-10pm or later, and you can also see the art for about a month after at the gallery.
The address is:
231 Washington Street, Marquette, MI 49855

Hope to see you all there!
Erin Rabideau ]]> *airlynn http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/6767520/ http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/6767520/ Fri, 14 Oct 2005 15:23:28 PDT


BOO ]]> *airlynn http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/6111674/ http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/6111674/ Wed, 03 Aug 2005 07:58:19 PDT
I am an amateur model at best.... so forgive me if they arent perfect! But I have some stuff uploaded that i told some of you Id show you... My roommate being the spawn of satan she is deleted all the pictures that were taken on her boyfriend Paul(the owner of the house i live at) digital camera, even though we got permission to use it... becuase of the fact that she had something against the other roomate of mine who was taking the pictures.... what that had to do with me i dont know but lets just say it was an interesting weekend...and i got wasted as well as a sore fist becuase of it.... no the less there are not very many pictures as i was originally going to have but i plan to make them up with them camera i just bought this week.... I will let you know...anyhow here they are: just copy and paste the link if it doesnt work and when you get to it,
CHOOSE SLIDESHOW!!!!! please
let me know what you think

[link]

erin

ALSO!!!! Anime Pictures from ACEN are in check them out...once again click slideshow please!
[link]

erin

BOO ]]> *airlynn http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/5969052/ http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/5969052/ Mon, 18 Jul 2005 14:22:55 PDT Mood: Bored
Listening to: Nymphetimine: Cradle Of Filth
Reading: Wayfarer Redemption v.2 by Sara Douglas
Watching: Million Dollar Baby

Just thought I should put up a new journal.... Nothing new going on, just preparing my web business and classes and working alot as usual doing lots of art, but due to un-cooperative scanner wont be able to upload till later this week.

]]> *airlynn http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/5934917/ http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/5934917/ Thu, 14 Jul 2005 16:40:06 PDT
Mood: Bored
Listening to: Nymphetimine: Cradle Of Filth
Reading: Wayfarer Redemption v.2 by Sara Douglas
Watching: Million Dollar Baby

Somedays I wish a god to strike me. To cast me down and burry me.
Somedays I wish a storm to swallow me, to burry me and drown me.
Somedays I wish for change and know it can never be.
Somedays I am not here, I am not here.

I cant help but feel alone in this world, lacking that something I know I had before,
I cant help but feel cold inside and hollow sounding
I cant help but feel the bitterness welling up inside me from the pits of hell that is my soul.
I cant help but feel sad at times though I know I have no reason.

I have so much to give this world, if only I had the means on how.
I have so much to love in this world and still I see the sadness.
I have so much life inside me, so much it burns me.

Does it ever feel like Deju Vu to you? Does it ever feel familiar? Theres something that trys to reach out to me coming from the base of my soul, coming from the depths of my dark mind. I wish I could see that world for what it is, be what I am and know I should be. Why is it I am sad when I have so much love and beauty around me, why is it that I have no reason to be but still am? Do I love the sadness, ache for those tears which have long been dried up. Cling to that past of those I have lost, those I have long faught for and have gone. Why do I not understand the means? Why am I so neive to reality? Why am I me? I know these feelings or remourse for what I don’t know, will pass as they always do, but why is it that when they flood my thoughts my soul my body that I become more passionate then I ever have been before? Why do I yearn to feel the sweetness of his breath upon me, his touch that shudders through my waking veins….as if my soul has never awoken? Why do I love like I never have before, To touch and to hear and to feel why do I want it sooo much? Cling to this mysterious man in my sleep that I know I have seen before? Why can I not see him now? Where has he gone to? Why do I have so many questions? lol

]]> *airlynn http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/5734465/ http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/5734465/ Thu, 23 Jun 2005 14:37:32 PDT
Mood: Giddy
Listening to: Nymphetimine: Cradle Of Filth
Reading: Wayfarer Redemption v.2 by Sara Douglas
Watching: Hostage

So I finally got a full subscription alomg with a print subsription too.... which is awesome! Also I am moving for sure only thing is that they gave away my spot (the apt i was going to move into) so now I got bumped back to Augest before I can move. But atleast that gives more time to save up more money and for packing...though i dont have much left to pack....either way im excited i get to move in with my sis.... and im selling art work and i might be getting a car this fall too!!! yea!!! I just have to figure out how to pick it up(the one i want is in IL).

I just bought 2 prints for my asian wall and the other for my bedroom.... they are:
[link]
and
[link]
im trying to buy suzi9mm's Japan86 to match the other one i just bought...I think they will look great together on my wall of samarai swords.... just gotta figure out how to frame it

]]> *airlynn http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/5637142/ http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/5637142/ Fri, 17 Jun 2005 06:39:16 PDT I suppose thats why they give away such things....damn teasers... so now I will have to get a subscription FOR SURE.... i think i shall this weekend (would sooner but i only have me 10 dollars) so I gotta wait a few days yet. ]]> *airlynn http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/5482857/ http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/5482857/ Sat, 28 May 2005 06:11:13 PDT Ok, well I shall get back to work, since thats where im at and all. ]]> *airlynn http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/5454765/ http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/5454765/ Wed, 25 May 2005 06:18:25 PDT If anyone has any suggestions PLEASE LET ME KNOW....preferably online sights since i have no vehicle. ]]> *airlynn http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/5350950/ http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/5350950/ Fri, 13 May 2005 20:00:04 PDT Im at Chi Town right now.... YEA!!!!!!
working on trying to figure out a last minute cosplay outfit.... wish me luck.... well got to head out and get some pizza and wine and sushi, and the like (though not all at once or ill be vomity all over ) ]]> *airlynn http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/5267088/ http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/5267088/ Wed, 04 May 2005 16:57:15 PDT Currently Listening to: Cradle of Filth, Theatre of Tragedy.
Currently Reading: Assasins Apprentice; Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy.
Currently Watching: Alias season4, LaFemmeNikitaTV, FullMetalPanic, Read Or DieTV, and Hellsing.



Current Mood:
:as I jump up and down in anticipation.

lol

Im moving tommorow (05/04) so I get my camera and all my artwork from my dad....oh oh oh and my swords YEA!!!
So over the next few days(as I scramble to get ready for acen) I will be posting pictures and the like.

Im just excited cuz I get to go to ACen this year! (well and having a week off from work is always a BIG bonus)
In case those of you who dont know, Its an Uber-Big Anime Convention which im told Rocks!!! Its in Chicago... this may for 4days(maybe it was 3???). I dont know either way its all good.
I dont think i will have the time to cosplay this year like id hoped. though i will still attempt it... tee hee :devilish grin:
O well.

K thats all!!! !!! ]]> *airlynn http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/5110667/ http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/5110667/ Fri, 29 Apr 2005 17:39:45 PDT Currently Listening to: Resident Evil2 Soundtrack.
Currently Reading: Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy.
Currently Watching: Alias season3, LaFemmeNikitaTV, FullMetalPanic, Read Or DieTV, and Hellsing.

Current Mood:

Im excited cuz I get to go to ACen this year!
In case those of you who dont know, Its an Uber-Big Anime Convention which im told Rocks!!! Its in Chicago... this may for 4days(maybe it was 3???).
I think im going to cosplay this year too... not sure what though.... I think if I cant think of anything else Ill just do BloodRayne (since I already have the outfit for that)... but thats not anime though i dont think it will matter since three others im going up there with are dressing up as game characters too.
O well, Ill figure something out. Im just excited cuz i can go this year!

Im moving tommorow (05/04) so I get my camera and all my artwork from my dad....oh oh oh and my swords YEA!!!
So over the next few days(as I scramble to get ready for acen) I will be posting pictures and the like.


K thats all!!! BYE!!! ]]> *airlynn http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/4726135/ http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/4726135/ Fri, 04 Mar 2005 09:31:50 PST dont know what or where im going or doing yet though...
probably do lots of art i imagine as well as finishing second season of "alias"(im playing catch up) and the last season of "dead like me".... i know im spending a few days with my little sis, maybe see a movie... anyhow. Just thought id update the dev site since i havent been on in a while.
]]> *airlynn http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/4669198/ http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/4669198/ Fri, 25 Feb 2005 10:29:04 PST You cant escape death.....

To understand death is to embrace it, to take it within you... And such is my life... a shroud of death, demons and darkness.

The nightmares began ten years ago this month. I try to ignore them, even go without sleep, but they come to me in my waking life. Haunting me. Dreams of death, of blood, and pain. Dreams of lives I have taken, and of lives I should have or could have saved, even dreams of death dealt to people I dont even know or recognize.

I have had an obsession with death since I was a kid... more an obsession to understand it...

Who am I to have decided who should have lived and who should have died? Granted I was just doing my job... but still.
So much blood.
So much on my past, on my hands, on my heart.
Its like a curse that follows me...
Bring death into my life, and it touches everyone I love and care about. A constant shadow attaching itself to all in my path it seems.

I see their faces in my dreams, even in my waking life on someone else's face as they are walking by. I need sleep, a vacation, something....
I see their faces...so many, too many. Why do I mourn for them still? This is all long and gone... What else am I to do?

I know some of them, close to me, lost to me.

The ones I dont know.... dont care to know, that haunt me more frequently at random... they were deserving of it. Brought it upon themselves. But who am I to decide when they live or die and how? I mean they could have had a wife or kids... But they choose the life they led, not me, brought death upon themselves... And I was just doing my job.
But if thats really the case then why?? Why do they still haunt me?
Havent I had enough already?
So I have come to the conclusion that I am to be alone in life. Live one of solitude. I can not talk about these things with anyone. Never have someone close enough to just let it all go, and that scares me. It seems everyone i touch, get close enough too, everyone i care about i bring death in their life... and i fear what is to come of the person that i allow to let completely in... i am not used to it, not sure i like it, though i know i yearn for it as something i will never have.
Nobody knows my demons, no one can possibly know.
The closest I can get to someone is this damned deviant art site... though i need to be using it for art and not venting/ranting....
But its the only way for me to release some of these issues...

Which by the way of art, I am working on some tatto's for some friends as well as the finishing of my own...
Mine is what I have know(an egyptian scarab with the eye of ra on the top-center of my back) and I am sketching out two dragons that are stemming out of a yin-and-yang symbol and will start from the base of my tailbone and work their way up to the legs of the scarab beneath the back of my neck....it will be a costly tattoo but awesome once ive finsihed.
I am also almost finished with the first volume of my comic too...
so as soon as all thats done ill upload alot of art i swear. lol ]]> *airlynn http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/4644596/ http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/4644596/ Tue, 22 Feb 2005 09:46:02 PST
Its hard to say if I am alive

Disorder runs rampant in my mind
Loose thoughts slipping through my sad excuse for a grip
Random ideas bouncing around like a rubber ball in a rubber room
Uncatchable

my mind is going numb
my mind is going numb

I find myself tripping in your eyes

Delusions creeping up from behind
Sticking, probing, trying everything to falter me
These floating thoughts will trip me up; make you knowing me
psychopathically
Impossible

i have become
so mentally undone
i have become
my mind is going numb

You have tempted me forever

suddenly my thoughts come into mind
It seems Ive found the problem that has been plaguing me
i think of pain i think of death
and then i find my mind specificly incredible

i have become, i have become, i have become
so mentally undone
i have become, i have become, i have become
my mind is going numb

Dead girls bloom
In my garden of thought
Spreading and decaying
To become one with the silt of my mind

i have become
so mentally undone
i have become
my mind is going numb

i have become
so mentally undone
i have become
my mind is going numb ]]> *airlynn http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/4462507/ http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/4462507/ Mon, 31 Jan 2005 13:47:18 PST I had a friend (a really good friend) that I somewhat ditched a long time ago... like about a few years... no less for a guy (stupid me) basically the guy didnt like her and anyone he didnt like i couldnt hang out with, and since my life depended around him and he wasnt very nice and i wasnt very smart, he took me from all me friends and i let him..... Anyhow im not with him still of course.... and theres a restraining order out on him (actually a few) and granted i learned alot of martial arts because of the whole non-sense but aside from those facts i lost every part of me that mattered most.
Anyways the point of this journal is that i updated my email contacts the bebo thing through yahoo mail, and i got ahold of that one friend ive been longing but afraid to talk to again.

I just spent the past 2 hours or so both crying and talking to her.... She was the one true person in my entire life that I could be my true self. I am soooo happy. So I have a great friend in my life again and it feels sooo good, why i ever let a love like hers go I dont know, but I will never again!
Well I just wanted you all to share in my exitement and joy!
Erin
Oh and by the way I just finished 2 more of the comic drawings which makes 7.


Last Journal I dont wanna take down yet:

Ok, so since i started drawing for this comic book i am working on....ive been whipping the drawings out like none other! which is cool... seems as long as i stick with my comic book i dont have artist block but any time i try to draw something not having to do with that story i cant seem to do it... maybe because the inspiration is already there.... Anyhow..... Since my scanner seems to be down for the time being... I will have to keep on drawing and keep everyone in the dark then upload a shit ton of drawings.... So bear with me till then.
A little about the comic without giving too much away lol :

Its about vampires and demons of course!
Its very dark, and bloody... just to give you heads up.

The story is about a woman who is given a pendant by a ghost boy child(she doesnt know hes a ghost though) and every since she touched/picked up the pendant her life is turned upside down! She has all these nightmares (which are actually premanitions) and eventually gets inpregnated by a demon in her sleep...
So she waskes to find herself sick and pregnant... the child grows extremley fast (basically 3 months looks like 7 months) and eventually it eats its way through the womb, and escapes in the woods....
She doesnt die of course... only nearly and after the child is born, she no longer has nightmares...
Anyhow, she has to stop her demon daughter from raising an evil army of vampire children to ruin the world.... I wont say how though, cuz I ve already given enough away.

K, so wish me luck. ]]> *airlynn http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/4444341/ http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/4444341/ Sat, 29 Jan 2005 10:25:15 PST A little about the comic without giving too much away lol :

Its about vampires and demons of course!
Its very dark, and bloody... just to give you heads up.

The story is about a woman who is given a pendant by a ghost boy child(she doesnt know hes a ghost though) and every since she touched/picked up the pendant her life is turned upside down! She has all these nightmares (which are actually premanitions) and eventually gets inpregnated by a demon in her sleep...
So she waskes to find herself sick and pregnant... the child grows extremley fast (basically 3 months looks like 7 months) and eventually it eats its way through the womb, and escapes in the woods....
She doesnt die of course... only nearly and after the child is born, she no longer has nightmares...
Anyhow, she has to stop her demon daughter from raising an evil army of vampire children to ruin the world.... I wont say how though, cuz I ve already given enough away.

K, so wish me luck. ]]> *airlynn http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/4373180/ http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/4373180/ Thu, 20 Jan 2005 21:47:04 PST
I have had an artist block for like 3-4 weeks now... i sit down with a pad of paper and a pencil about everynight and cant for the life of me think of ANYTHING to draw.... no inspiration sucks!!! I used to be able to whip them out one after the other!!! Please someone give me some suggestions! Even topics or ideas would be great just something to get me going again!

I appreciate all suggestions

Thankie! ]]> *airlynn http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/4175076/ http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/4175076/ Tue, 28 Dec 2004 06:23:54 PST of thoughts delving deeper
and enigmas unfurled
a day when time has no essence
and all is realized.... murdered...."


Ok, I guess I was bored and tired of looking at the last journal entry.... ]]> *airlynn http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/4081920/ http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/4081920/ Thu, 16 Dec 2004 15:57:06 PST Laughing at me, watching me.
As I curl helplessly, cradling my non-existant warmth.... He cradles up beside me, lying cold and still on the grime filled floor.
His moves mocking mine.
His laughs echoing my sobs.
I look away from his soul-less gaze, his inhumane body.
I try to ease my tears holding them back, staying ever so still.

"dont let it be easier for him" I tell myself;
eyes aching from keeping them so tight.

I ignore his lips as they touch my body, cold and damp.
I ignore the blade as it trickles down my shaking skin following the trails of sweat.
I ignore the pain, my head aching and pounding.
His touch ridgid and unwanting.

"How could it have come this far" I think to myself as I taste the blood and tears.
I look through the backs of my eyelids, so dark and hollow....
I feel my own blood merging with my sweat; soaking the ropes that chaffe and burn me.

*************************************
So deep do I bury myself looking out to sky, to the stars... in a place I have never seen, a place of warm night and love.

Chanting my mantra, over and over and over again.


I awake from this nightmare in a deep and heavy sweat.

His knife now in hand, clenched tight between my fingers, and plunged dep in the base of his skull.

"How did it come to this? How did I come this far?" I ask myself, staring down at the blood on my hands, down at him: lifeless and cold. ]]> *airlynn http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/4021622/ http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/4021622/ Wed, 08 Dec 2004 18:20:28 PST I just got a pin put in my hip yesterday, and broke one of the stitches today... O JOY!!! So now I walk like im half penguin or something.... lol
Yea Drugs! I dont like takin meds but doc says its necessary... I told him "Bring on the Pain!" ... he didnt believe me lol sigh*
So im both hyper and extremley tired at the same time (never though it possible since they kinda contradict one another) well enough with that....

Oh random thought! When in hell are they gonna invent teleportaion already??? Itd make things sooooo much easier right now. ]]> *airlynn http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/4012881/ http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/4012881/ Tue, 07 Dec 2004 16:51:26 PST ]]> *airlynn http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/3796078/ http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/3796078/ Tue, 09 Nov 2004 18:13:37 PST a cold dead soulless one, haunting me,
my blood surging through my veins,
sets me afire...
A life I have yet to give, from the queer eyed one that
breathes within me.

Some days I wish a god to strike me,
some days I wish for the answer,
the question that suits the answer I have yet to know...

He sits within me, breathing up through my soul,
The seed germinates within me, that may one day
be obtained... may oneday be squashed asunder
Into this god-forskaken oblivion in which I have created for myself. ]]> *airlynn http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/3796065/ http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/3796065/ Tue, 09 Nov 2004 18:12:16 PST Walking cautiously over to the small pool, I lean down slightly holding my hair to my shoulders and slowly peer in. Shocked I almost lose my balance and fall on my hands catching my elbow on the cracked rim of the edge of the pool. I back away, feeling the marble giving way beneath me. Stumbling to my feet I stand up and watch the walls cave in on itself.
What remains after are just the contents of the pool. Feeling myself drawn to it, I cant seem to take my eyes away from what remains in front of me.
In a swirling, and almost funnel like motion, I can see what looks like the night sky reflected into this tiny well, all the planets, and nebulas and many clusters of stars visible to the eyes, moving around in this funnel. All of which seems to be radiating and glowing with a myriad of different colors.
The entire thing....this well....or pool... that once had a solid wall, to keep those from falling into the unknown abyss I see before me, appears to be levitating before the very earth that I stand on.
Mezmerized by the beauty and the power that is being given off of this, I move closer and closer reaching my hand out in attempt to grasp one of the rotating planets. This power that is drawing me closer and closer..... I am unaware of where my feet are taking me..... almost hypnotized it would seem. My hand gets closer and closer to the planet of my desire, I can feel the power of it begin to suge through me, overwelming my body with complete power and a sense happiness. As soon as my hand passes through the clouds of stars and touches the rotating planet it begins to disappear, and I find myself sad, and feeling more alone than ever.... Then there is a flash of bright white light, causing me to instantly sheild my eyes with my forearm, fearing Id go blind otherwise.
The light begins to dim, and I slowly lower my arm, noticing that as the light dims, all the planets and all the stars that were swirling in this funnel like abyss, are starting to fade, leaving only the darkness behind.... Slowly this darkness, fades from a deep blue to a deep purple and then finally to a deep crimson red. The red crimson abyss started to boil, and once what looked like a dancing display of lights, now burned... red hot...

Blood! It smelled of death! Oh my god! Whats going on! My skin began to tingle and itch, sending chills up my spine. I looked down at my arm as I scratched at my agitated elbow.
No...This cant be! I think, looking at my hands in horror, they were soaked in blood! I opened my mouth to scream, but no sound came out. I began psycologically cleansing my hands and arms of blood...
Wiping my hands off on my legs, I look down at myself in horror....
The shirt I am wearing is soaked in blood, and the area where my stomach is, seems to oddly be pertruding more than usual.
OH GOD!
IT'S IMPOSSIBILE!
ITS GROWING!
My stomach is growing before my very eyes!
And...and...Bleeding???
Whats going on!
Make it stop!
Someone....Please....
Falling to my knees I hold my belly in agony, sobbing. I can feel the blood pumping through my body, and as it pulses through my fingertips I slowly begin to lose consiousness.

"NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" She screams, awakening in a heavy deep sweat. ]]> *airlynn http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/3796044/ http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/3796044/ Tue, 09 Nov 2004 18:09:33 PST
I love you... I hate you...
What you do to me..
Making me numb,
making me weak.
I fall to my knees and kiss the earth.
Tears begin to well up,
I cant breathe,
I cant taste you,
I cant see...
I am blinded....
by what could have been.

So I say thank you,
though I dont mean it.

I hate you...
for the anguish you cause
the torture,
the pain.
How could you?
How could you do this to me so easily?
Why?
Do you enjoy to see me suffer?
In pain? Distressed? Miserable?

I dont know what else to say,
how to say whats been done,
what should!

I saw you there
in mockery.
You knew I cared for you
You knew I loved you,
or were you just ignorant to believe?
No! You knew...

Why did you even pull that shit?
The point? I dont see it!
Why did you tell me you loved me?
Why then! After you had LET me go?

I knew that we were made
for one another...
I knew you were made for me...
I knew society would not except it,
But FUCK Society!
I dont give a shit what they think!
And since when do you!
WHY DID YOU?
HOW COULD YOU?

Your smile still weakens me,
and now it seems
every fucking time I cry
its because of you.

I will somehow have to deal

Knowing I can never,
will never
be the same
Just fucking heal!
I cannot be around you
and just be fucking friends!

My body crumbles beneath
my head that sits still,
I cannot think of you - now -
and be happy.

I cant be who I used to be,
I cannot be myself -
My eyes are flooded now -
I thank you.
Its not right to toy with me as you did.
Its not right to love me
and give up so fuckin easily.

I dont know what else to say...
you fucker!

I have been unhappy
since that day,
I do not trust myself,
I do not trust how I feel anymore,
What did you do to me?

You fucking bastard!
You fucking tore me apart when
you pulled at me from the inside out!

I am falling - I am drowning
Thank you.
I love you.
I HATE YOU.
YOU MOTHER FUCKER! ]]> *airlynn http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/3783708/ http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/3783708/ Mon, 08 Nov 2004 10:11:41 PST

The child lay there stiff; underneath dust covered glass. She wore a coy smile that mocked any peering in, almost laughing at them it would seem. She wore a tattered black and red laced dress: which draped down her three and a half foot child-like body. Her hair: long and curly, was black like the feather of a crow. Her skin: Bone white; pale like the color of the moons hide.
Barefooted she lies there. So cold and small in the huge room of rusted pipes and stonewalls.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

There was a sound that echoed off the walls around her. A metal shard from the pipes above her rolled around on the grime filled floor.
Several small girls, maybe two or three are giggling as giddy children would do. A crash resonates off the stone and cement walls as another pipe shard falls to
the ground: this one louder.
Like possessed hyena's, you hear the children screech vindictively. You can hear the faint sound of what seems to be a man crying...his sobs muffled underneath
small bony hands.

"Shhh! you're gonna wake her up!" one of the children whispers compellingly; her hands cupped tight over the mans quivering and bloody lips.

"Quick! Hurry up, stop toying with him and get it done already!" one of the other girls shouts eagerly.

"Hurry!...Im hungry!" cries the third girl.


The sleeping child: garmented in the smell of death, and a foul disposition: shifts in her box as the children down the hall disrupt her sleep. The moisture in the
air creates a sudden disturbance as dew begins to collect on the cement floors. A drop of more collected water falls from matured and rusted pipes, hitting the shady glass covering the girl, and a high pitch chime from the fallen water wakes the girl: her eyes flashing open.

You can hear the girl stir once again, shifting her fragile petite form. The girls giggle shrilly, their sounds cutting throught the thick wet air. In the distance you can hear glass scrape against metal and stone.

The child pushes aside the glass covering, and begins to sit up. Like the time a flower takes to wither, she pulls weak bony limbs of white: up.

There is silence in the background; the children are no longer laughing and the man that cowered beneath the girls: lay taut in fear.
One of the children drops the metal shard and another jumps in response, shielding her mouth by the third girls hand. The third girl just looks at her as if she were dim-witted; as the bloody metal fragment rolls and rolls until it comes to a slow hault directly in front of the door that the sleeping child was resting in.

The child in the cold room of pipes and decay pulls herself out onto gaunt little feet, then down onto the artic floor beneath her.

The other children frantically drop the dismembered man, and scurry over to the room where the child rests. They approach the door in shame, their arms folded in front of them, and cowering in the thoughts of what could be done to them for disturbing her sleep.

The child in blackened-lace: with eyes of bronzed almonds: picks up the bloody shard in front of her; looking at the other girls before her with a keen bit of disgrace. "Now-" she continued "What did I tell you about playing with your food?" she questions them, holding the bloody pipe in her left hand.
"We're sorry," they say in unison, lowering their heads with shame.
"We got carried away" one of the girls pipes up.

"Yes...yes, I see that you did" the dark child says peering down the hall at the beaten, and shriveled man.
"Now-" she continues, with a hand outstretched in the direction of the tattered man. "We cant have our food going to waste, now can we?" she directs as if giving permission to finish the man off.
The girls faces light up in excitement, and they scamper back to toward the dismembered man; barely holding their own footing. Like a pack of ravage wolves the children rip into the man, baring sharp long teeth and razor talons for claws. They dig deeper and deeper into the mans flesh; taking pleasure in his screams as they grow and grow; until the sounds fade to a light gurgling sound. And blood starts to pour from his the corner of his lips and eyes.

The child of dark stands at the doorway revelling in her children's actions. She wears a big grin, as she hears the mans sobs slowly die down and his body goes limp. She returns to her sarcophagus with a satisfied smile, knowing that this is only the beginning of what will soon be a great kingdom. She climbs back into the sarcophagus to continue her rest, feeling that she will need it soon for the events to come. ]]> *airlynn http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/3771817/ http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/3771817/ Sat, 06 Nov 2004 21:22:48 PST
I got news for you, pal. You ain't leading but two things right now: Jack and Sh**. And, Jack left town. - Army of Darkness

The Lord tells me he can get me out of this mess. But, he's pretty sure you're fu**ed. - Braveheart

You don't frighten us, English pig-dog! Go and boil your bottoms, son of a silly person. I blow my nose on you, so-called Arthur-king, you and your silly English kiniggets. - Monty Python & the Holy Grail

I can't believe you're willing to throw away our relationship on a one-night stand with a chauffeur, and a butler, and a slut who eats buttons! - Once Bitten

My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die. - Princess Bride

God has a hard on for marines, because we kill everything we see. - Full Metal Jacket

Sir, are you classified as human? Negative I am a meat popsicle - Fifth Element

Greetings and salutations. Welcome to the emergency line of the San Angeles Police Department. If you prefer an automated response, press one, now. - Demolition Man ]]> *airlynn http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/3768389/ http://airlynn.deviantart.com/journal/3768389/ Sat, 06 Nov 2004 12:45:56 PST *airlynn