http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:aissatan&section=today deviantART RSS for by:aissatan en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Thu, 17 Dec 2009 07:10:02 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/28682397/ http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/28682397/ Mon, 30 Nov 2009 23:00:56 PST
]]> ~aissatan http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/28621648/ http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/28621648/ Sat, 28 Nov 2009 00:29:36 PST
She wasn't sure what she was waiting for, standing at a gas station with a shoulder pack and a Hershey bar. Her house was a short walk away, nestled in the small, inconsequential town where she was born. Pencil thin eyebrows would pique curiously at every car or truck that pulled in, even as she feigned disinterest by talking to the old station clerk. She expected a sign, a revelation... but it seemed like none was forthcoming. And gossip about the locals was not enough to stay her patience.

She folder her arms and leaned against the wall as a black Buick that had clearly seen better days pulled in. The moment the driver stepped out, she knew exactly what she had been waiting for. Black denim, weathered hat, the dust of travel almost hiding faded tattoos. He looked like he was either a young man with too many years etched into his face, or an old man with an almost juvenile darkness in his posture. She watched him standing next to the car, unaware of the classic image he cut... mysterious and brooding in the desert sun. And she, with a wash of cold excitement, decided.

]]> ~aissatan http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/27736639/ http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/27736639/ Mon, 12 Oct 2009 23:11:51 PDT [link] [link] [link] Drop me a note if you're interested!

]]> ~aissatan http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/27660042/ http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/27660042/ Thu, 08 Oct 2009 22:40:10 PDT
Ah, running a hamster wheel is the epitome of all I wanted out of life.


So, is the world gonna end in 2012, or 2060? I mean technically the Mayan calender never said anything about the end of the world, and Isaac Newton was pretty clear in that regard... he was a pretty smart fellow, too.



Well, I'm gonna shoot for 2060... there's a whole crapload of stuff I really want to do before I die, and I just don't think I can cram it into three years. Especially not at the pace I'm moving at now. :/

Here's to 2060-ism!

]]> ~aissatan http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/27473560/ http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/27473560/ Mon, 28 Sep 2009 17:56:48 PDT know had a point once, but its original meaning is gone somewhere in idea-oblivion. At first it was a mountainous effort, because the only thing that nearly equals my absent-mindedness is my lack of organization and hatred of notes. But I proudly pushed past that obstacle, and I took notes of every idea that was complete enough to put into words, and even some abstract thoughts that really make no sense outside my own brain. Great concepts, ridiculous ones, serious, funny... everything went down, until my sketchbooks started to resemble John Nash's walls in a Beautiful Mind. It almost became a schizophrenic frenzy, at work I'd have to stop what I was doing to jot something down. Driving could turn me into a neurotic mess out of fear that I'd lose my thought before I got home to a pencil and paper. Everywhere I went I'd come home with a small library of scraps in my purse. Now, aside from the inevitable few pieces that I lose (there's no hundred percent protection from absent-mindedness), I can scour these sketchbooks any time and I have my stories laid out to remind myself and/or to pick at without worry that my brain altered any information without permission. It's perfect. Almost.

I've found that no matter how thorough my notes are, how miniscule the details I take down are, I never manage to capture every thought. Sometimes I'll sift through the mire to remember a key conversation, and all the words are there, but I feel a flitting memory of a gesture I had in mind that absolutely completed the scene... but I didn't get it down. So I start drawing little sketches next to the text, but next time I'll go through it all again to find that I can't quite remember the setting I originally had in mind. Because you can write "diner", or even "50's diner with floor to ceiling windows, blue accents, a fake marble counter, and an overweight blond waitress with a handlebar mustache", but that doesn't mean you'll picture the same diner you imagined in the first place when you read the notes a year later. And it's really. Goddamn. Frustrating.

So in the end I spend more time trying to manage a way to remember my ideas, and I somehow never get around to fulfilling them. I've developed a case of prep-work ocd, but stunted my ability to polish. I can brainstorm and write and sketch, but I can't outright create because my notes are never finished. In attempting to conquer a fault that prevented me from creating finished pieces, I have borne a monster of a habit that prevents me from creating finished pieces.

Anyway... I've spent too much time away from my notes, must get back... finish... before I forget...




Goddamnit.

]]> ~aissatan http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/27085753/ http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/27085753/ Mon, 07 Sep 2009 23:18:19 PDT up against the car door on the shot gun side
and when they pulled her from the wreck you know she
still had on her shades
they say that dreams are growing wild just this side of
burma shave

]]> ~aissatan http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/26725023/ http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/26725023/ Fri, 21 Aug 2009 00:08:16 PDT


[link]







O.O

]]> ~aissatan http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/26705153/ http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/26705153/ Thu, 20 Aug 2009 02:22:06 PDT
I need somebody that can seriously kick my ass. I mean really. I'm always the ass-kicker, and my own (artistic) self-discipline is shelved to make way for unimportant things.

I need to take some lessons from my idols. They need to come down here and kick my ass. Seriously.




Why does confidence come so easily to some people!?



Blagh. Ok, I feel like watching Mystery Men. Or House. Or both simultaneously...?

]]> ~aissatan http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/24846519/ http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/24846519/ Tue, 19 May 2009 19:54:18 PDT [link]

This looks ridiculously awesome. I rofled at the hammer scene.







]]> ~aissatan http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/24506815/ http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/24506815/ Wed, 29 Apr 2009 23:48:43 PDT
But even that sound wasn’t enough to equal the unique quiet of nighttime. He kindled its unusual voice in his mind, the late-night’s tone that made one’s ears strain more than any cacophonous spawn of day. The singing silence that would make a suspect of one’s own heartbeat filled the room with pressure… with weight that surmounted that of the door, and he pulled it deep into his lungs. Silence suited him; it surrounded him no matter the circumstance, and he drew it onto him like a flame draws heat. Embrace, then radiate. Inhale, then release with double the intensity.

He could barely see the silhouette of her figure wrapped in the silk bedcover, orange shards of light from a dying candle picking out the smooth folds and fine strands of long, dark hair. The seizing dance of the dim light gave what he could see of her life, made her breathing look like the sporadic flipping of pages in a book. The silence, he thought, did not suit her. The sensation of utter stillness bleeding from the walls was not hers, he knew her essence too well. It felt peculiar and inappropriate, and he wondered for a moment what the room had felt like before he entered. Like the lifeless air that comes after a heavy snow, he stole what energy she might have touched the atmosphere with. And then he radiated, released his own silence and deathliness with double the intensity.

He stepped closer to the end of her bed, and with the strain of trying to pick out a sound in the midst of a haunting silence, he realized her essence was there too. Though it didn’t bleed from the walls, or press against his skin, it lightly flitted about with a hopeless resoluteness. He felt her anxiety, her wrenching hatred, her anger… and mixed amongst it all, a strange sense of comfort. So like her, he thought. So strangely true.

And the contradiction of the home-like comfort against the terrible reality of this place almost made him smile. He relished such complexities in humanity… he was more adept than anyone alive in honing them and using them as weapons.

He watched her for a moment longer, poised like a dark guardian angel at the foot of her bed: tall, motionless, elegant. And, as so many times before, he put away the cloying need to waste her. To tear her apart inside and out, to finally push her sanity over the edge and bleed her humanity from her… to destroy her. It was only a small thread that held him back from crossing that line, but there couldn’t have been a stronger one. With a long, slow breath he stirred the silence and turned to extricate himself from the dangerous temptation.

But as he did so his knee hit something hanging off the edge of a chest between himself and the sleeping woman. Without going so far as to call it curiosity, he picked up the heavy object, tilting its face towards the dim light.

Senekin, it read. A soft, humorless laugh did nothing to punctuate the quiet. So she truly was searching for the answers. It was a most pitiable attempt, seeking such questions in a book like this one. He amended that he had, many years ago, combed the very same volume. She was very young, but she didn’t have the luxury of time that he had.

He supposed for a moment that she knew that, and that’s why she had attempted to come to him so many times. At the last moment, however, she had always turned away in fear. Stupid child. His fingers traced the familiar bumps in the ancient leather, and he could almost feel her own fingertips racing in desperation for something she would not even know how to recognize.

]]> ~aissatan http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/24506774/ http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/24506774/ Wed, 29 Apr 2009 23:43:20 PDT
He wasn’t even sure if that really was his father, nor did it matter. He never saw the death-haunted eyes again.

A child was then passed from the furious clutches of an allegedly drunk father to the prison of a foster home whose goal seemed to be to simply forget that he existed. A faceless foster-mother walks about with him just behind her leg, and when people she knows greet her on the street, she whispers to their curious expressions, “his mother is dead, he was hit by his father… only five, poor creature.” Sometimes he wasn’t sure if he was a stray mongrel, and he had been picked up at the pound, and perhaps he simply thought he was human. “ Poor creature,” she would say. Well, the woman did not have a face.

Neither did the others he lived with, passing from home to home like an unwanted hand-me-down from a dead grandmother that no one had the heart to throw away. He was never sad, however. Ever since the day his temple met cold, hard wall, he could hear a faint humming in his ears… like whispers, nearly. He was never alone, never alone like the faceless men and women that never spoke directly to him.

He was a child, they couldn’t understand his language, he couldn’t blame them.

]]> ~aissatan http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/24403243/ http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/24403243/ Thu, 23 Apr 2009 23:02:43 PDT






a.k.a. boredom at work 8am thursday

]]> ~aissatan http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/24403189/ http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/24403189/ Thu, 23 Apr 2009 22:56:27 PDT






a.k.a. boredom at work 7am thursday.

]]> ~aissatan http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/24118788/ http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/24118788/ Tue, 07 Apr 2009 19:26:08 PDT [link]

]]> ~aissatan http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/24104107/ http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/24104107/ Mon, 06 Apr 2009 23:48:46 PDT


And for reasons unrelated to the previous statement, I can't seem to get my stomach out of a constant state of churning. Confusion, head-splosion, death.

]]> ~aissatan http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/24015998/ http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/24015998/ Wed, 01 Apr 2009 23:50:48 PDT Monieeeess!!


Anywho, moving on! I am going to attend the Ninja tour! Didn't think I was going to be able to, and when I saw they were going to be in Irvine I nearly bust an artery! But then, viola! Ninja vs sasquatch in the gorge only four hours from my place of residence! Hoo-ah!



]]> ~aissatan http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/23910127/ http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/23910127/ Fri, 27 Mar 2009 00:38:38 PDT
Until just recently. It seems that my right eye finally warmed up to me and accepted my extended hand of friendship; but as anyone knows, such tenuous friendships also have the potential to breed jealousy. My left eye seethed in the background as the relationship between myself and the right eye began to blossom, its newfound and neglected position inspiring the kind of envy only an older sibling can feel. And so, in turn, it rebelled.

Just as things were starting to look good, as my eyes seemed like they would work together with my face with a beautiful kind of harmony, the flames of emotion toppled all chances of that concept becoming a reality. Somehow, deep in my heart, I know that no matter how many ophthalmologists I visit, leftie will never sharpen his focus until he feels he's getting the attention he deserves. And with the irrational and jealous nature so common in eyeballs, who knows when that might be.





(I'm not high, I swear)

]]> ~aissatan http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/23740709/ http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/23740709/ Tue, 17 Mar 2009 03:31:05 PDT



]]> ~aissatan http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/23563620/ http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/23563620/ Fri, 06 Mar 2009 19:53:26 PST



Please go see this movie, whether you've read the comic or not. It is delicious.

]]> ~aissatan http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/23372290/ http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/23372290/ Mon, 23 Feb 2009 20:53:43 PST [link] .

It's a bummer to be broke.



I also want a Mac Pro, but I think that one's gonna be a little harder to achieve.

]]> ~aissatan http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/23246035/ http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/23246035/ Tue, 17 Feb 2009 00:41:13 PST [link]





I'm torn between wanting to make a sardonic joke and bawling my eyeballs out. Argh!!! Goddamn you Trent, I kick you in the face!

]]> ~aissatan http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/23181433/ http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/23181433/ Fri, 13 Feb 2009 19:18:38 PST
]]> ~aissatan http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/22810125/ http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/22810125/ Sun, 25 Jan 2009 18:27:29 PST
It's weird knowing I've now permanently left my home town... I'm not sad about it, just kind of mystified. Strangely enough, the further I get from Orange County, the more I begin to feel like myself again. The inspiration, the ideas, the motivation to sit down and just art. If I could, that's what I'd be doing right now. It definitely was time to get away, to quit stagnating. Hopefully in a couple months I can escape this dead-end job, too. Maybe go back to school. Who knows.

Anywho... hell knows I'll be back for Coachella (as long as Jack Johnson isn't headlining again ), amongst other things. But aside from that... goodbye Southern California!




]]> ~aissatan http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/22570572/ http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/22570572/ Wed, 14 Jan 2009 00:35:12 PST that long, if it weren't for the massive lag every time I put a stroke down with the paintbrush. I'm starting to get a little deja vu for the old PC days. Except without the viruses and blue screens of death.

I miss my monitor, too. And my scanner. Blah, damn move... makin' me pack all the stuff I need... rargh.


Speaking of moving, I also packed all my books away except for one (which I'm going to be done with soon), so does anyone have any good suggestions for road reading material? I'm at a loss. Comic suggestions would be awesome, too.



Aye... I need to paint my goddamn room. >: P

]]> ~aissatan http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/22561434/ http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/22561434/ Tue, 13 Jan 2009 13:06:32 PST


I shall not miss thee, summer weather!

]]> ~aissatan http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/22535793/ http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/22535793/ Mon, 12 Jan 2009 00:14:37 PST
Anyway, I'm excited. I really really can't wait. At the same time, I'm getting that kind of bittersweet taste in the back of my mouth... there's alot I'm going to miss here. I have alot of memories here, ones that I hold very dear. I guess it doesn't really make a difference, though.

Man, it's beautiful up there. I can't wait.



Yargh.

]]> ~aissatan http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/22462424/ http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/22462424/ Wed, 07 Jan 2009 23:26:03 PST
Mainly, though, I think I've made my absence here because I've been feeling very out of touch with my sense of self lately. I've always been very sure of who I was and what I wanted, but the more time passes... the older I get the more I get caught up in things I promised myself I'd never get caught up in. I don't really know what I'm getting at... I'm just a bit lost right now. God I hate sounding emo, scratch that last comment. I'm confused, and busy... I'm busy all the time, but I'm not getting anywhere. I know things will change when I get on my path again and start advancing. Trying for the things I want at least. But it's really, really hard to know how to do that at this point. When all I have time to do is work, scrape together enough to make a living and pay my bills, and wonder how I could possibly find the means to go to school on top of it all. I wish I knew how to just get my foot in the door... of any industry of art, really. So at least I'd be in a position to work my way up somewhere. I don't have the confidence in my work to make a portfolio out of it, though. I still feel like a student... I couldn't possibly be a professional at this point.

I need more time to myself, too. Socializing is overrated. Heheh.

I miss feeling like I was part of an art community. I don't know how to wedge myself back in.




Anywho, disjointed and annoying rant is now officially over. So does anyone here live in Washington state, perhaps? Around Vancouver/Portland?

]]> ~aissatan http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/21222834/ http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/21222834/ Wed, 29 Oct 2008 19:04:07 PDT
It'd be so easy to take up this opportunity, and so easy to get lost because of it. Then again, I have nothing keeping me where I am... I really don't have a life; or the life that I want, rather.

I don't know. It's daunting and a little confusing and I hope I make the more daring choice, whichever that may be.

]]> ~aissatan http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/20018262/ http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/20018262/ Mon, 18 Aug 2008 08:14:11 PDT
]]> ~aissatan http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/19851574/ http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/19851574/ Fri, 08 Aug 2008 19:36:32 PDT
Radiohead was amazing (though times like this, I wish I wasn't so short so I could've maybe seen something)... very memorable. Hot as fuck that day, and suffered the cost of that (heat-stroke on a swaying, crowded subway--yay!) Rage Against the Machine was insane.... I wasn't at the front, but most who were returned with war wounds. I think it's pretty close to unorthodox rock-concert intensity when Zack de la Rocha has to stop in the middle of the set to beg people not to kill each other in the mosh pit.

And of course day three I camped out at the main stage. Met some awesome people who convinced me I must come back to Chicago for its own sake some day. John Butler Trio was amazing, that dude kills on the guitar. Iron and Wine should not have been on the same stage that NIN was going to be headlining on. Boring as all fucking hell. Even the band looked like they were going to fall asleep. Love and Rockets... well, I'd seen Bauhaus before, and I guess that's one of those shows that's only entertaining once. Or maybe its only entertaining when Peter Murphy's glowering coolly at the crowd before jumping on a speaker and slowly flapping his arms in a bath of orange light. Yeah. Well, there were stripy people with balls for heads... that was amusing.

Aaaand... Nine Inch Nails. Well. There were two people between myself and the fence, so I had a perfect view. When the band walked on the stage, it was pretty much perfect. I was thoroughly psyched. And the music started and I was ready for the show that blows me away every time I see it. Two seconds later, the only word that could describe my position was "smashed." Or maybe "crushed." Or, best yet, "wrung through a spagetti maker." Around me those of smaller stature like myself were begging to be pulled out, but I was gonna stick it out damnit... my favorite band was up there. But I don't know if it was the heat, the humidity, dehydration, or the dude that rammed his arm into my throat; I was on the verge of blacking out. And the last thing I wanted was to end up on the floor in that mess. So looked at the biggest dude near me and cried for help. Next thing I woke up with a security guard holding me up asking if I was okay. I wandered around for a while, dejected that I lost the spot I had so carefully held on to all day... that I missed the front row of the band I had travelled 2000 miles to see, out of my own weakness. And after sitting and gathering feeling in my arms and legs for a couple minutes, I muscled my way as far up as I could get. And NIN still played fucking awesome.

I can't wait to see them again in LA... without interruption, this time. And hopefully with a better set. I want to hear some older shit again, hear me Trent?! Agh... come back to Coachella!


Anywho! The whole vacation was topped off with a most excellent birthday present of the Eddie-Izzard-live-at-the-Kodak variety, by the most awesome roommates in the existence of roommate-dom. And he is just as hilarious live as his shows indicate. And now I have a Cake or Death t-shirt.

All-in-all the best birthday I have had yet. Huzzah for 21!

Cheers my friends...

(PS- Pictures of the trip here---> [link] )

]]> ~aissatan http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/19086216/ http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/19086216/ Sat, 28 Jun 2008 02:02:52 PDT







Also a very bouncy "yay" at the new Punisher trailer. A very bouncy "yay."

]]> ~aissatan http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/18449114/ http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/18449114/ Thu, 22 May 2008 14:54:11 PDT
Since I have been disappeared, the following has has happened in respective order:

-Downloaded the new NIN album, but didn't listen to it.
-Saw Iron Man opening night, and glee'd through every goddamned scene.
-Had some bomb-diggity visitors from norcal come hang out for a couple days. We bowled. Clint Eastwood style.
-One of these visitors turned out to be not so bomb-diggity when he got smashed on shoplifted liqour, pissed on my bathroom floor, and spouted off on the evils of capitalism with his drunk breath on my face.
-That dude left promptly the next morning, btw.
-Worked. Alot.
-Finally listened the The Slip, which has at this point been out for almost two weeks. Hell begins to thaw out.
-My initial disappointment is softened a little, as the second half of the album is much better than the first, and none of the songs were as bad as Discipline. (The whole thing did sound like it was sampled from left-overs of WT, YZ, and Ghosts though.)
-I get internet in the apt finally... and to my orgasmic delight, find out that while I was out of the loop Tom Waits announced a new tour.
-I very promptly go to buy tickets, and find that they are sold out. My heart dies a little.
-I'm actually still not over that.
-Opening night for Indiana Jones! It was full of yay... and though it doesn't live up to the original (they never do...), Cate Blanchett's hotness made it more than worth it.

And that's my life from then to now.

]]> ~aissatan http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/18098522/ http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/18098522/ Wed, 30 Apr 2008 08:38:52 PDT not disappointed in her vocal abilities; I really don't think that the intention of this album was to show off an American Idol-worthy voice. These were songs originally sung by Tom Waits, after all. And, to make matters better for me in this case, I'm usually more attracted to slightly off-color voices that others might be put off by. So I can indeed say that my love for this song, plus my new love for her version of it, make for a very pleasing combination for me.




On the other hand, I'm not so much lovin' the new NIN song. WTF mate.

]]> ~aissatan http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/17823356/ http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/17823356/ Sat, 12 Apr 2008 23:31:07 PDT [link]









lol.

]]> ~aissatan http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/17788639/ http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/17788639/ Thu, 10 Apr 2008 23:59:13 PDT I've been lying in bed with the aforementioned silly grin on my face, unable to close my eyes (much less fall asleep)... and why might that be, you ask?

Two reasons! Numbero uno, I now very seriously have a home to call my own... and the keys will be in my hands in three weeks. Secondly, my 21st birthday is approaching fast (well, sort of), and will be celebrated with the one thing that can make me giddy in the way that nothing else can; that being a road trip/massive concert festival/nine inch nails/LOLLAPALOOZA!! So all-in-all, this is shaping up to be a very good summer indeed.



This doesn't help me in being able to wake up for an early day at work tomorrow. o.O'

]]> ~aissatan http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/17729152/ http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/17729152/ Mon, 07 Apr 2008 10:00:13 PDT

]]> ~aissatan http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/17154879/ http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/17154879/ Sun, 02 Mar 2008 19:02:22 PST [link] . All I can think is.... well.... what in the bloody name of god's left nut is going on!?!?!



I'm way more excited than I'd like to admit. I'm such a fucking sucker for this band, it's unbelievable. This shit is gonna take forever to download too, it's making me cry. Lol. Seriously though, what's going on? Three albums in less than three years? Coming from the originally 'twice in a decade if you're lucky bitch' trent reznor himself?



I better stop now, before I get really fangirly and start drooling all over the keyboard. >.<






AUGHGHGHGHHHHHH!HIHWAPINVINA!





[Edit] -- So after about two and a half hours of waiting and repeatedly clicking the refresh button, the album is now mine. The Ultra-Uber-Special-Edition, that is. Yeaaah... that put a massive hole in my pocket. But what can I say, NIN is my crack! [/Edit]

]]> ~aissatan http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/16922979/ http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/16922979/ Sun, 17 Feb 2008 01:54:18 PST [link] , so it was a bitch to have completely lost track of the music.

But triumph tonight, I actually found it! Yay, I'm excited! I've been aching to listen to Happy Child and Linoleum for so long! *contented sigh*



In other, less chipper news, I just had me wisdoms yanked out of me jaw. Yargh. So I'm a little out of it at the moment, if you couldn't tell. And speaking like a pirate, for some reason. Aaaaalrighty then, I'm out.

]]> ~aissatan http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/16856459/ http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/16856459/ Tue, 12 Feb 2008 22:12:28 PST



]]> ~aissatan http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/16825465/ http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/16825465/ Sun, 10 Feb 2008 22:50:21 PST
I need movies like that on days like this. Days that, for whatever reason, seem to be teeming with asswipes and pricks. At work, on the internet, etc, etc... they seem to happen in droves. People who don't realize that their bitching, whining, and overall self-deprecation are merely self-fulfilling prophecies. I should know, I have first-hand experience. lol. Just kidding, I only bitch at the internet. It's such a helpful listener.

Somehow, though it was a day filled to the brim with bitchiness, I was more entertained than annoyed. I'm sadistic like that. AtU just warmed me all up inside, though. Can't get enough of it. Wow, need to stop fangirling.


Duuuude... KROQ has had this gimmick going all weekend of top ten count downs, and they went through the years I was in high school... very trippy. Kinda refreshed some things I'd forgotten. Totally brought back moods I can only recognize in retrospect. All stuff I never really listened to, on top of it. Just kinda always there in the background. Every once in a while I miss high school. Existence was so easy. Always had those unchangeable things to rely on. School schedules, homework, limited mobility. Not having a choice in the matter was, in a weird sort of way, a relief. I'm not good at setting structure for myself, but I haven't leapt into total spontaneity yet either. I've got six months til I'm 21. Then I have a year, at most, to seriously decide what I'm going to do next. In the meantime, work, save money, be withdrawn. I'll allow myself a timetable of delinquency, even though that's not entirely the right word for the thought. It sounded cool, what can I say?

I need to get out of this house, though. Was all set to move in December, but the angry money gods were all like 'noooooo, you can't do that yet bitch' and I was all like 'fuuuuuuuck... fine, summer then bitch'. And they haven't gotten back to me on that yet. Things are looking better, though. At least this week. Last week was painful.

Speaking of painful... wisdom teeth on friday. Hurrah. At least I get a couple paid sick days. Probably make more money that way than working, the way things've been.

Anyone heard of that thing AMC is doing? The Oscar nominee marathon? Anyone planning on going? Or perhaps too intimidated by the concept of a grueling 12 hours of heavy oscar-worthy film? I think it sounds fun.

I need caffeine. And taurine. And ginko biloba. All mixed together in citric and sorbic acid. Yum.





(Also, I have randomly discovered that I love old Mickey Rooney movies. WTF!)

]]> ~aissatan http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/16560200/ http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/16560200/ Fri, 25 Jan 2008 01:06:23 PST
However! These past couple days I've been working on something in Painter, and failing so miserably that I was on the verge of giving up on it completely. After dicking around with it for more hours than I'd care to mention, I finally decided to start over. And in a rare moment of spontaneity, I resolved to give it a shot in Photoshop.



All I can say is... Photoshop, where have you been all my life???

I love Painter, it's all I've ever illustrated on... but truth be told, I'm a shitty fucking painter. And using PX is just short of using oil on canvas. So it's always been really really hard for me, even as devoted as I am to it. The beauty of PS (imo) is that it's closer to drawing, which is a technique I'm much more comfortable with. I just wish I had taken the leap earlier, because I've still got alot of learning to do as far as tools. Go figure, I know how to do photo-manip, effects, textures, etc... but I never learned how to feckin' paint. lol. I'madouche!

Anyway... I'm excited, I had to share. Hey, if you know of any good tutorials for PS, link 'em to me! I'd appreciate it lots right now.




(Want an iPod? You know you do! ---> [link])

]]> ~aissatan http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/16541209/ http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/16541209/ Wed, 23 Jan 2008 17:50:09 PST
But here's to a third try anyway... Lovely little silver second gen 4g iPod mini to be found cheap here: [link]3984.cSELL.m315.lVI



]]> ~aissatan http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/16523225/ http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/16523225/ Tue, 22 Jan 2008 15:13:41 PST Life is a little shocking sometimes.

RIP Heath Ledger.

]]> ~aissatan http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/16513826/ http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/16513826/ Mon, 21 Jan 2008 22:14:46 PST
----> [link] <---- Give it a gander, folks. Thanks much.

]]> ~aissatan http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/16498377/ http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/16498377/ Sun, 20 Jan 2008 23:14:23 PST
I wish I had a better relationship with my hobbies... maybe then I'd be able to turn them into a career.

]]> ~aissatan http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/16441434/ http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/16441434/ Thu, 17 Jan 2008 04:29:12 PST
It's crazy windy outside right now, perhaps contributing to the fact that it's 4:30am and I'm still up doing virtually nothing. All those ions yannow. Also that Rockstar might have had something to do with it.

Anywho... a couple journals back I mentioned that Puscifer had released an album. I finally actually gave a listen, and it was instant love. The first song I actually heard was Cuntry Boner (excellent!) which was an absolute anti-prelude to what the rest of the music was going to be like. With the exception of World up my Ass, of course. The album V, though, was just seriously good. I mean... Momma Sed just sparks up this incredible story in my head, Trekka with that insane military overtone, Indigo Children... bah, makes me want to change my life for the few minutes I'm listening to it. Anyway, yeah.. I have a new favorite album to compete for my top ten. Heheh. Listen to it! Do it! Now!

I love everything MJK does except for Tool. Does this make me a bad person?

Oh yeez... and I saw I am Legend, which was extremely depressing in that wonderful, self-deprecating way. Heheh. Loved it. A horror movie done right, who knew the day would come! Also saw Atonement... amazing cinematography, music, and acting... something was missing, though. I think that ending was just kind of... cheap? I don't mind a sad ending, but don't gip the audience like that. Hahah... I'm trying not to give anything way, and it's totally making me fail at reviewing. Agh!

Update on life: work sucks, school is mediocre, and life is just sort of giving me this wry look. It really is... just this kind of 'wtf' expression.

Aaaand... I need sleep. Goodnight.

]]> ~aissatan http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/16109093/ http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/16109093/ Wed, 26 Dec 2007 12:25:51 PST
[link] <--- 4gb silver iPod Mini... I got the original almost four years ago, but it was replaced under warranty only about a year back... so it's not that only, and practically in new condition. Original packaging and everything!

[link] <--- 2gb black iPod Nano... Also a year old, and hardly been used. A little scratched, mostly because of the ultra-shiny surface. And also comes with the original packaging... only the headphones are missing.


Thanks, guys!

]]> ~aissatan http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/15966642/ http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/15966642/ Sun, 16 Dec 2007 22:53:36 PST
I really do need to teach myself how to juggle work and my art. Usually by the time I get home I'm so tired I just want to collapse in bed and read a book until I fall asleep. I sketch all the time on my breaks and such, but sitting down and finishing a piece has become rather challenging of late. Hopefully school will help. Yeah! More work on my platter, that's the solution!

Anywho... anyone want an Ipod? I'm going to be putting my old ones up for sale as soon as I find some time. I have (second generation?) 4g mini and a (.... fourth generation?) 2g mini. One is fairly recently replaced under warranty, so it's not that old... the other's a year old and hardly been used. More info later.

Sooo... tired.... I need to go to sleep. Bah.

]]> ~aissatan http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/15891520/ http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/15891520/ Tue, 11 Dec 2007 15:04:47 PST V is for Vagina, no less. Which, from what I gather, is an album entirely about sex. Which I suppose is what everything by Puscifer is about. Heheh.

I think it's great how MJK has to create a whole new band every time he wants to tackle a different subject.



Yeah, so no real news. I'll probably have some stuff to upload in a few days. Hopefully? Gah, I'm such a bum.

]]> ~aissatan http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/15825975/ http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/15825975/ Thu, 06 Dec 2007 19:00:56 PST
]]> ~aissatan http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/15787773/ http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/15787773/ Tue, 04 Dec 2007 01:47:05 PST
Anyway, I have mixed feelings on this one. The animation was excellent... I mean, there were moments where nothing was moving and it almost seemed live-action. That in itself was fascinating. Angelina Jolie was feckin' hot, but that goes without saying. Some parts were just downright hilarious (Beowulf stripping down in front of the Queen instantly brought the cheesy beats of 70's porn music to mind, and then somewhere in the back of my head, inevitably, a heavily accented voice cooed "look at my biceps!") The entire naked fight scene brought even more tears of laughter. Visually, it was almost perfect. A++ on that end.

Which makes it so sad that such awesomeness was wasted on such a terribly inept script. Initially I was worried about the movie because I had heard that the writer's had dicked around with the original story too much. Now, quite frankly, I'm convinced they just didn't dick around with it enough.

I'm all about respecting the original work... which from what I remember, it followed the events quite thoroughly. They just didn't add anything to it. This isn't a poem, it's a movie... and to interpret from one to the other, certain laws of the media have to be watched for.

The lack of flow was painful. The movie was basically a fight scene from when the dude's twenty, and a fight scene from when the dude's fifty. I understand a lot of time passes in the story, but there's a way to do that without slicing a movie right in half. There also was a serious lack of explanation. The biggest question being, why did Beowulf's son want to kill him? I don't recall if that's explained in the poem, but that doesn't really matter. It doesn't work without explanation in a movie. Also, how about a little history for Beowulf? I mean, the only bit we get is... well... another fight scene.

Which actually leads me to the most irritating flaw of this movie. The one thing that will invariably turn me off from a movie, the only thing I really ask for. Where the fuck is the character development? I have absolutely no interest in whether Beowulf wins or loses by the end of the movie. It's obvious they were trying really hard to make him badass, but they fell so so short of it by only showing events and no character. If he's judged by events only, he's a fucking self-absorbed pussy. All it needed was a little good dialogue... either between him and the queen, or redbeard, or even good-ol malkovich. There were no good relationships in this movie, which is the heart of presenting a strong character.... showing how he interacts with other people. And no, this being an action movie is not an excuse. 300 proved that a movie can be 95% fighting, and still have great plot and character development. Aye! It just irks me to see such unfulfilled potential for badassery! He was so cool looking, if only they could have actually made him cool!

Anyway... I wasn't so disappointed, since my expectations weren't really that high. I just wish it had been better. Also... I watched it in 3d, which I was expecting to be quite annoying, but it actually worked. Go figure.

OH! And Golden Compass comes out this weekend!!! HAhahahahAHYAYAYYYY!!! In all honestly, I mainly want to see the Iorek vs Iofur scene. That's just gonna kick my ass. ARGH! I can't wait. Gleee

Should I actually update on my life? Vell, I don't think there's much to update. Still working on some stuff that'll hopefully be done soon... a little experiment, heheh. Frustrated at work because the first year I start getting paid commission is the first year that we have NO fucking business. What the fuck. It rained like all hell the other day, which was awesome. I've been missing the rain. Also my car's clean now. Can't wait for school to start, can't wait for life drawing, can't wait to meet some new people (hopefully). Inspiration's coming back to me for the first time in a long time. And I'm sadly amazed how a single event has the strange ability to taint years worth of good times.

Aaand... I can't sleep. Hence this journal. I've actually been up cleaning till just a minute ago. Which is totally random for me. Heheh. I think I'm just too tired to sleep. Also this [link] is fecking mesmerizing.

]]> ~aissatan http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/15712757/ http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/15712757/ Wed, 28 Nov 2007 19:21:18 PST Y: The Last Man... if you're at all interested in good western comics.

If you've read the Preacher and enjoyed it half as much as I did, you'll love Y, I promise. Especially with that slyly inserted Preacher fandom in the middle of the story. That made me yay.

I think there's only like... three issues to go? So if you start up now you won't have to worry about those agonizing cliff-hangers that comic readers are all-too familiar with. And there be rumors floatin' about that there be a movie in the makes! Huzzah!

In other news... well, not much. I'm registered for classes. I'm slowly beginning to forget what it was like to have free time. I can't think of what I want for x-mas. I'm really starting to lose interest in the internet. DA, you're my last hope for any kind of connection to the outside world! And I still don't feel like uploading shit! Shit!

I need to read a book. I'm all out, I can't find anything interesting. Hello amazon...

]]> ~aissatan http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/15613196/ http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/15613196/ Wed, 21 Nov 2007 23:03:02 PST
Maybe it would've helped if the main vampire hadn't looked like an accountant with a recent head trauma... an expression of utter confusion underlining every droopy-lipped shot. Very scary indeed.

I didn't really have that high of expectations however, having read the comic a year or two ago. Awesome art, SHITTY ass story. lol. 'omg, all forms of communication with the outside world have been completely cut off mere hours before a month long utter lightlessness in a town eighty miles from anywhere! Silly vandals are at it again!"

Anyway. This: [link] is much more exciting to me right now. I always had this notion that Starcraft was another spaceship shoot-em-up, so I never even checked it out. However! I've recently been informed of it's true nature, and now I can't wait for the new one to come out. I've been in love with real-time strategy games since Age of Empires II (Three sucked harry balls (and by harry I mean hairy!!) Damn you microsoft!) which would actually be my first video game experience. Except for Myst. And O'dell Down Under. Yeah...

Oh! And every time I see a new trailer for Golden Compass I get even giddier for that goddamn movie. I don't think I've been this excited for a movie since.... well, since 300, but before that... since LotR! I can't believe how long it's been since those movies. Time feckin' flies. They were part of my culture for three years. Damn.

Moving on... I missed out on Beowulf, but I'll probably see it next week. Hopefully. I've heard good things about it, and not so great things about it... mostly about the story, but I must see for myself. I have hope yet.

Why is it that movies are the easiest things to talk about in comfort? So weird. I want to see Across the Universe again.

In other, more personal news, it looks like this winter will be the one. As much as I want to move out, it's hard to argue with my overly rational mind that I've got it really good and really easy right now... and stepping out of that comfort zone is a hefty push with all that single-child-insecurity bullcrap. But for once I want to do the slightly irrational yet totally normal thing, and I'm ready to get out. Maybe it'll give me a better opportunity to be different, and to be better.

And for the record, no, I'm not a single child. Why does that matter? No idea. But yeah. Little less than a month. Woo!

ANYWHO! Happy turkey day! Eat hearty sleep heavy! I hope you all have something to be really thankful for! DON'T LAUGH AT MY CHEESINESS! I HAPPEN TO ENJOY CHEESE! ESPECIALLY NACHO CHEESE!



]]> ~aissatan http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/15527797/ http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/15527797/ Thu, 15 Nov 2007 23:37:22 PST )... I tried to listen to it when it came out, but the first song kinda turned me off. It just sounded awkward at the time. Anyway, I'm lovin' it now. It's got Reznor all over it... the only thing on that album that sounds remotely Saul-ish to me are the lyrics and his voice. I'LL STOP FANGIRLING NOW X(

If you want a good story and some decent acting in an older movie, watch Ace in the Hole. That movie would actually be vexingly relevant if someone decided to remake it now. Actually, speaking of movies, I never did any proper internet gushing for Across the Universe. The visuals were as intriguing as expected, but that sort of movie always has the potential for over-doing the artsiness... This one, however, pulled it off perfectly. It wasn't too heavy, even the sad parts were strangely upbeat. Eddie Izzard's random appearance made me especially happy, too. The music was bomb, of course! I fell back in love with the Beatles after this movie. But the best part of this movie... feckin' hell, the characters!

First of all: Max+Jude = Kevin+Ryan ... WHAT!?!?! I love it! I was squirming gleefully the whole movie for these two, though in this case I'm a little biased... obviously.

Max, however, made me love the movie. I don't want to puke any spoilers here, but I love how of the two characters and everything they go through respectively, Max is the one to reach out to Jude and, in so many words, smack him and tell him to get his ass back in shape. In a much nicer, Beatles-esque way of course. I'm just in love with Max, though. He's just feckin' adorable. In a very subtle way, he's very deep character... almost undetectably.

Anyway... enough gushing. Hey, I was entitled, I haven't movie-fangirled in quite a while.

I've also slowly begun to discover that I love the blues. Totally random.

....


.... Yeaaaah, so being that this is an art site, maybe I should touch on that... I *have* been working on stuff, believe it or not. Actually alot of things at once, which is why they're taking so long to get done. I'm really very terrible at organizing my ideas. : ( I've been working full-time, too... on the verge of moving out. I'll be going to school again next semester, part time. Frankly, work is exhausting. It's not a desk job. I'm not just doing what I have to anymore. Now every moment I spend idle is not making me any money, so the pressure to fill up my schedule... and then to be able to work all of that... is tiring. I love the job, though. I love that the more I work, the more I make... not just in hours, but product. It's instant gratification, and God knows I'm a sucker for that.

Off-topic... anyone ever watch Clone High? I'm in love with that show! Bastards only made one season! Whoever thought JFK could be so hilarious...? lol.

I read somewhere that my personality type needs to have a partnership or a team to flourish... To be able to apply inspiration best, I need someone to play off of. Which, in the context of my life, has so far been true. When I had a good partner... or a good group of people exchanging ideas... I could do more. It's not like I'm useless by myself, but it just comes easier otherwise. I think my bane is that I'm a bit singled out in this, since most artists are pretty soloist in attitude. Even I'm competitive, and that doesn't help me. I guess it does in some ways, but in this case...

I really need to figure out my roommate situation. Gah. I need to be less anal. Maybe not, I like my anal self. That's shameful, I know.

When are meh nin's gonna come out so's I can see them!!! Come on bitch, get your ass out here! (I'd be willing to bet Cali's last on the list )

They have tortoises at my work now! I want one! So cute!

Alright... endless rambling needs to end. Goodnight.

]]> ~aissatan http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/15145218/ http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/15145218/ Sat, 20 Oct 2007 14:42:55 PDT
When the dock is run by a multitude of very hot men, and you're with your little cousin who happens to have long blond hair, big green eyes, and a perfect body, well.... that does take some of the fun out of it. I've never felt so fat and oogly and completely ignored.

Ah well... horse-back riding will be the bomb. Can't wait for that.

]]> ~aissatan http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/15066147/ http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/15066147/ Sun, 14 Oct 2007 22:15:03 PDT [link] <--- this video is really goddamn mesmerizing. o.O

]]> ~aissatan http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/14708319/ http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/14708319/ Wed, 19 Sep 2007 22:21:38 PDT
Up until now I've always been able to draw (or write) small bits and pieces of my stories, or just nothing at all for that matter, just to satisfy the need to create. I guess, now, I'm having a hard time of it because I've somehow got it in my head that I can't waste time on that anymore. I mean, part of me is dead-set on the idea that I'm ready to get my stories down for real now -- whether in book form, comic form... whatever. Which is rad... if I could find the confidence (and, admittedly, the time) that is.

The problem is the other half of my brain disagrees completely that I'm ready to undertake such a challenge. And mostly I'm just quite certain that I'm not good enough yet. Not a good enough writer, not a good enough illustrator. Reasonably, I figure if I just start, then I'll begin to learn and go from there... and if I don't start, I won't get anywhere. But then that childish, remarkably influential majority of my brain just screams no! and I get very very stuck in the middle of this whole predicament.

It doesn't help that my job now leaves me with very little extra time, and the time that I have is spent mucking around in exhaustion. Bah. I know there are easier ways to make money out there, but they all seem so fecking boring!

Anyway... I still draw, I just can't finish anything. I can't put my all into anything unless I'm determined it's a part of the finished product. And there are several products I'd like to work on, but I guess... I guess I'm a little scared of the commitment. This isn't new at all, actually.

I'm never gonna get anything done if I just keeping running in circles like this. I wish I knew how to turn on that switch in my brain. Once again, lack of confidence gets in the way.

I don't know what I'm gonna do. It's only 10:30 and I can hardly keep my eyes open. I used to sit up arting till 2am. Feckin' hell. : (

]]> ~aissatan http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/14510131/ http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/14510131/ Wed, 05 Sep 2007 22:13:22 PDT
Fuuuuck... I need money... X(



Guess I'll just have to in-debt myself further tomorrow morning. Fun. *sigh*

]]> ~aissatan http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/14349838/ http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/14349838/ Sun, 26 Aug 2007 13:30:16 PDT
I want to go back to school. Unfortunately, I'm short the funds. My parents have an untouchable retirement account that makes me ineligible for grants or student loans. I might be able to pay for part of it if I work full time doing what I do now (dog grooming), but then I couldn't go to school full time.

Basically my question is: have any of you been in a similar rut, and do you have any tips or ideas of how to get past the financial horror that is art school? Anything, please... I'm a little desperate.

Oy... What am I gonna do!!!

]]> ~aissatan http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/14347954/ http://aissatan.deviantart.com/journal/14347954/ Sun, 26 Aug 2007 11:19:03 PDT
I loves the smell of rain.







Although there goes my plan to wash my car this afternoon. X )

]]> ~aissatan