http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:alexicats&section=today deviantART RSS for by:alexicats en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Mon, 28 Dec 2009 20:29:49 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/6072574/ http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/6072574/ Fri, 29 Jul 2005 23:26:22 PDT We can only hope this is not the fall of DeviantART.
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"It was war they wanted and war they got
But they wilted in the heat when Miuzi got hot"
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--°jark
--A jark justice thing
[link] --A petition type thing.
[link] --Please look at!
[link] --This too!
[link] --And this. This is important.

Jark's been moved off staff, like the other co-founder. He was the other co-founder of DevArt, I don't know what we'll do without him. It's spreading over DA like a plague. People have been chaning their sigs, avatars, everything. Even a petition and a club thing. Journal entries. Jark practically -is- Da. Rumor has it he's gotten kicked off staff. I have no speculations. It's been bringing on a huge talk about corporation vs. community.

From what I've been reading, and the comments he made, it sounds like he got kicked off. It sounds conspiracy like. Why have many other staff been going? Jark himself told us to look at his site, [link] , because he won't be kept shut up there. I've hear DevArt is going against it's policy and censoring people's comments.

I've never seen this darker side to DevArt. It's scaring me, frankly, and if I can't trust the administrators here, I'm moving to Sheezy. I don't think I can trust $spyed From what I picked up it sounds like Jark was kicked off because a disagreement with spyed and the other guy, on the whole corporation vs. community thing. Now they've got it so wherehe can't tell us what's really going on. This is pissing me off.. They're covering up.

"DeviantArt, in my opinion, is becoming less about COMMUNITY and more about CORPORATION.

So what we need to do is bring back THE COMMUNITY.

Here's my suggestion.

On August 7th, DA turns five years old. Five years for a website like this should be a grand affair, one big event.

So don't submit anything on August 7th.

I'm talking a print, a deviation, a scrap...nothing.

Instead, just leave a comment. Visit a user's page and just say hi.

If someone wants to buy a subscription that day, I'm all in favor or it. It'll keep the servers going, and anything that keeps the hamster running is a good thing.

BUT...I think folks shouldn't buy any prints. No print subscriptions. That goes against the COMMUNITY theme for the day.

We want to put the COMMUNITY back into DA."--[link] ]]> ~alexicats http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/6067044/ http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/6067044/ Fri, 29 Jul 2005 18:22:43 PDT [link] --Steffy's Info, Updated daily.
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Been working furiously on my character, Ara. Might post a few scribbly notes in my scraps, where it's okie to be scribbly. she's so confusing.

I so want that marshmallow kitty poster. And the shirt. Woo. Go marshmallow kitty. I also want Dvds of Family Guy and futurama and Star Trek Voyager, but it's not gonna happen. Phemp.

Well..I'm almost at 700. -is amazed- Can't wait for camp. I'm going to probably be lonely half of the time though, seeing as usually all of the girls in cabin three are asuperficial idiots who'll spaz about next to anything. I'm tempted to try and bring my kitty in my suitcase. But still.

Well. That's bout it.
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WTF is going on? I know nobody knows what happened to Jark. I've heard rumors all morning it seems like. How are we going to be DevArt without him? My heart goes out to °jark.

This is pissing me offf. Why don't we have something telling us why jark is going and why have bits of the staff been dissappearing?
I've been haering about how deviantart keeps becoming more business. Last summer when I was addicted to Neopets it made me horribly sad when they become like people tell me (because I wasn't there) devart is becoming/has become.

I consider DevArt to be my little home online. But if Deviantart's going that way, I might leave. I like sites with a spirit. If this spirit is going to die I'm moving to sheezy. Or somethig. It feels like the site is getting darker and darker, at least in this teeny bit of it. Not only is Jark going to be off staff, but one of my idolized artists, *seranatra, is also going temporarily. Damn. Damn damn damn. ]]> ~alexicats http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/6059166/ http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/6059166/ Thu, 28 Jul 2005 15:03:02 PDT [link] --Steffy's Info, Updated daily.
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I'm making my character Ara. I've had her since January, but I'm really getting her finished up now. I'm choosing disorders for her. I'm making a list of possibilities.

Generalized Anxiety Disorder-possibility
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder-possibility
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder-probably not
Schizophrenia-possibility
Borderline Personality Disorder-Definitely using

Anywho. I sort of made her me, like I was when I was in second grade, only how I would be now had I not had counseling and crap. I need to really finish her before I can finish the other characters, which will let me finish most of my plot, which will hopefully rid me of the writer's block/rp block. I was right about what IO needed to do when I was about to go on a huge artist's block, so I hop I am now too.
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I've decided. Borderline Personality Disorder and PSTD.

Ara's so fricked up. Poor thing. ]]> ~alexicats http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/6048858/ http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/6048858/ Wed, 27 Jul 2005 13:13:36 PDT [link] --Steffy's Info, Updated daily.
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Well. Not really.

Last night I stayed up until I almost fell asleep. Sitting up in the middle of the living room floor. Now I sorta get what all the hype about mood swingy adolescence is. Or maybe it's just me imagining it? Perhaps.

-sighs- Been working a bunch on plotting for CE. I don't want to draw any comics yet, because I want to draw them via tablet, but I have made a forum for if people ever read the comic. I've found inviosionfree to be much cooler than proboards, even if a bit confusing at first.

Well...today's Wednesday. O: Off to read webcomics. Woo! ]]> ~alexicats http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/6039539/ http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/6039539/ Tue, 26 Jul 2005 20:22:48 PDT [link] --Steffy's Info, Updated daily.
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Complaints--
Went to the doctor to check for scoliosis today. Had a bitchy nurse. Turns out my right legs longer than my left by about half an inch. Have to wear a shoe insert.

Rants--
Just because you watch a few anime shows, say 'kawaii' and 'neko' in every post, and read a few mangas, you are NOT JAPANESE. Ok? Stoppit. Plus.

My poor friend has succumbed to the two worst things on DA. Ever. The hug post, and the false and innacurate marijuana statistics people post in their sigs.

Thinks--
I was watching Inuyasha last night (Ep: Return of the Tragic Priestess, Kikyo) and I was wondering, who does the soul belong to? I mean, originally it was Kikyo's, but she died and now it's Kagome's. Since it was Kikyo's first, is it rightfully hers? Is Kagome minus some angry part of her soul now, or is she incomplete? I think it belongs to Kagome, personally, because Kikyo was dead.

And then FMA came on (Ep: Night of the Chimera's Cry) and I was thinking worse. I hate Tucker. How could he have done that to his wife? To his little girl? It certainly explains a lot, because I saw the one about fifteen or so episodes later when he was trying to recreate her, but it's so horrible. My mind is eaten.

Randomosities--
Coookie!

Added Rant--
I'm developing a strange and sad obsession to Fullmetal Alchemist. Particularly Ed, like most every other fangirl out there. The funny thing is, I'm fine until I start looking at fanart or show clips. Now I want to ship myself off to Japan to see the new FMA movie. Why did they make such a creepily great character? ]]> ~alexicats http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/6032114/ http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/6032114/ Mon, 25 Jul 2005 16:29:13 PDT
We finally got our copies of Dragon Rider, Eragon, and The Hobbit in the mail. Reading much. Bought some more clothes for next school year, and got school shopping for my little brother done. woo! Got about ten 10-cent notebooks. XD

Excited much for camp. also dreading it. For one, I'll probably be alone half of the time, and also I have to ride with this annoying dippy girl and her dad. I'm bringing my sketchbook and my lovely pencil, Benny. I will go insane without them. I should arrive home on DA's fifth birthday!

ooh! Off to read today's webcomics.
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Ever since about Christmas I've been so wierd. I'll feel depressed and ignored or annoyed for no reason. Is it hormones? Maybe I'm just a bit whacked up. When I ride my bike, I can concentrate on the pain in my chest (if I'm biking uphill--my asthma's coming back) or the heat or something else. Today, I went out in the rain with an already icky infection like thing. It felt good.

I hate how my mom takes care of our finances. She goes to walmart and intends to buy one thing and comes out with everything. I'd rather she stopped saying yes every time me or my brother asked for a pack of gum or some new pencils. She always pays her bills, and we aren't starving, but now she's giving my brother a dollar a day to take her stupid dog outside. His chore is already to help with the dogs.

Do I get freaking paid for scooping the litterbox? She acts like we have more money than we do. Not to an extreme point, but enough that it gets on my nerves. I'm mad. I haven't had an allowance since before my dad left, and that was five bucks a week. Now he gets seven? For a chore he already has? She gave it to him because he was bawling because he never goes to bed.

My mom doesn't enforce any of the rules around here. I swear, if I ever have children, I will not raise them at all like I'm being raised. ]]> ~alexicats http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/6017294/ http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/6017294/ Sun, 24 Jul 2005 08:50:03 PDT [link] --Steffy's Info
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-shrugs- I'm might have to skip churhc in the morning because my throats so sore. And I accidentally got cider in my eye. XD Don't ask how it happened.

Nyeh.
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Bleh. My throat's even worse. We didn't go to church, which makes me sad. I like church. Everytime I look at the clock I think, Sunday morning bible class just started. ;_;

My ankles better but I still can't bend it well. My throats is raw and it's painful to swallow anything but hot liquid type things. The left side of my neck is sore. Just an update.

Leky, I'm sorry we couldn't pick you up. Mum thinks my sinus infection never left and I might possibly have a new infection in my throat.

Bleh. I should get a drawing up soon. ]]> ~alexicats http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/6017287/ http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/6017287/ Sat, 30 Jul 2005 23:32:10 PDT
To Taiah: It's 12:29 and I'm on to say good bye real quick. I hope you solve that box problem before I get back. I you. Wish you could come too. I'll miss ya. I'm bringing Kitty-Hat to sleep with.
To everyone else: I'll be gone until the seventh at camp. Yeppers.

CurrentER News: Since DevArt is in the state of a huge rebellion/uproar, I am temporarily leaving deviantART. I will still put up deviations, because there is nothing else to do with them, but I no longer support DevART. (see [link] ) In protest I have removed all of my deviations and scraps until July 8th, am changing my avatar, and making no more journal entries until the 8th. I encourage you all to fight for Jark.

Current news: TABLET COMING. Should be here by beginning to mid August. (Keeps getting back ordered. XP)

Art Trades/Commissions
Were I a better artist, I would do commissions and art trades. If anyone wants to do an art trade, however unlikely, I would. If anyone would pay me to do commissions I would. (And considering I suck, they'd be dirt cheap. -convincing smile-)

To-Do
Art trade with ~Shihai-sha 0%
Possible art trade with ~Taiah--0%
CE character sheets--25%

Friends
--My only real-life friend on DA. She's a silly kitty. :3
--An online friend. He's quite nice.
--My ranting buddy. Whoo. XD
--A minion I am.

Clubs
]]> ~alexicats http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/6012111/ http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/6012111/ Sat, 23 Jul 2005 10:45:15 PDT
My ankles still sore after I twisted it last night. I have to kind of limp or else it'll start stinging. -sigh-

Ah well. Getting on my way to 600. Woo!

-moans- now my throat is so sore that my neck is sore, too.
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I've decided to make a list of friends and all. A makeshift footer because I'm too broke to buy a subscription. (Yet not too brok to get a tablet. 0_o)
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HOLY CRAP I HAVE 601 PAGVIEWS. I just got to 500 oon the 20th. 0_0 Woah.

--Mah only real-life buddy on here. She's silly. and a kitty. ^^
--One of my buddies that I met online. He's pretty cool.
--My one and only ranting buddy who I just met today. :3
Clubs I've joined:
]]> ~alexicats http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/6004535/ http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/6004535/ Fri, 22 Jul 2005 22:06:17 PDT No writer's block. No artist's block.
A tablet and Corel Painter classic on the way.
A rather cute picture I drew up last night.
Two kitties.
YOGURT and ANIMAL CRACKERS.
A pen/pencil/stylus named Benny.
534 pageviews.

I am happy.
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-glares- is a dirty art stealer.

Not that my art is good enough for anyone to steal, dso I'm not worried, but the fact that he's stealing people's stuff pisses me off. He should be freaking banned.

ANYONE who says I'm being mean should get a freaking life. I can name the various owners of half of 'his' deviations, and I'm pretty sure not one freaking piece in his gallery is his own. People who steal other people's stuff and call it their own should be burned at stake, I think. Don't tell me I'm being mean, damnit.
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Ouch. I was running and fell on my foot sideways. I think I twisted my ankle, because now it's hard to walk. It hurts everytime I slightly. I don't want to tell my mom though because I was running away from my brother after I threw something random (an empty gatorade bottle) into his room.

I think I'm going to use my old snake walking stick for a while. Or maybe my mum's crutches from before she got a wheelchair. Just for tonight. ]]> ~alexicats http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5999769/ http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5999769/ Thu, 21 Jul 2005 21:56:46 PDT
My mom is suddenly forcing my little brother to read practically. He doesn't much like it, but he does it enough and is ahead for his age. It's bugging the hell out of me.

Getting very excited for camp. I'm much worried about being lonely, but it's going to be exciting. Camp's always good.

Well, some show about lawn ornaments is coming on the Travel Channel. Mwah. ]]> ~alexicats http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5982103/ http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5982103/ Wed, 20 Jul 2005 14:34:52 PDT
I'll add more to this entry later.
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Ok. First off...wow.

I'm wrting again. For anyone who knows me, they know I haven't been able to write properly since November when I practically crippled my writingness by forcing myself to. I did make it through NaNoWriMo, though, luckily.

Anywho, I still can't write in third person. I've been writing in first. ;_; But, it's still writing. I'll put whatever I end up with in scraps.

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OMGOMGOMG.

Our next door neighbor dog, PJ, has always been a relatively good dog. Sometimes he'd bark at strangers, but he was alwyas nice. Well, today he attacked a little girl and left puncture wounds in her leg. Then her mom tried to go up to the door to tell the owners, but he attacked her too. So now the cops are coming to get him and take him away, and he doesn't have any rabies tags or anything, so he might have something...

Mom's keeping us and all of the pets inside.

He's always been such a nice dog.. I can't imagine what's got into him.
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Woah. Dude. We were at walmart, and my mom saw our neighbor and asked aboyut her dog, and she said that he runs away sometimes and he'll be back. Right.

517! I'm getting lotsa pageviews. ]]> ~alexicats http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5973186/ http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5973186/ Mon, 18 Jul 2005 23:32:23 PDT I warned you. There's freaking spoilers in this thing.

My Review.

First of all, at the moment I hate the damn book. Yes, we all know which book I'm walking about. At one point I couldn't see anymore I was crying so hard, and I now have funny little marks about the size of quarters on my pillow. I'm a sap, I know.

I think the stupidbook spent too much time going spastic over Harry and Ginny and Ron and Hermione. It had a huge couple streak in it. Too big. The couplings are fine once they actually freaking are coupled, and not just dancing around it. Tonks and Lupin was a cute couple, and I personally think it's excellent.

The whole thing with Malfoy...I know Harry was right, but he got so obnoxious I tried, unsuccessfully, skipping paragraphs where he spewed out his conspiracy theories. Even if they were true.

She definitely got sadder and darker...though it's been sort of obvious Dumbledore was going to get killed since she had the audacity to knock off Cedric Digory. He's the only thing to protect Harry from Voldemort. I hated seeing him reduced to asking Harry to kill him in the cavern. That was about as bad as his death itself.

The book moved a bit slower. Maybe it's just because I'm not used to how dark and depresssing everything's gotten. The trips into the pensieve were okay with me, but I think maybe they should have had a bit more discussion...Harry's not ready to go get Voldemort. He's so....inexperienced.

I think that if he's not returning to Hogwart's then it's sort of a let down. Hogwarts practically IS the story. Who gives a crap about Harry? Really, if someone had tried to kill Harry, I wouldn't have been nearly so sad as them trying to kill Dumbledore.

So....that's basically it. I think they made too big of a deal about the Potions book, and all. Yep.

Characters who nauseated me:
Fleur
Ron
Lavender
Fudge
Slughorn ]]> ~alexicats http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5958295/ http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5958295/ Sun, 17 Jul 2005 11:13:42 PDT
And when I go to camp I'll be missing three nights of Inuyasha and Fullmetal. It wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't afraid of missing something important...like Sango coming into the series, but that's probably not until later.

And my mum's not ordering the tablet until I clean the house....not that that's bad, just that I'm too tired to do much of anything but lay down after I check my mail. Neeed sugar...

Had another dream in which I saw friends from school. This must be about my eleventh. In this one, one of my friends, Keasha, began wearing slutty eye makeup. Maybe because I'm so afraid of losing another friend like that.

>< ]]> ~alexicats http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5950664/ http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5950664/ Sat, 16 Jul 2005 11:48:22 PDT
My mom found a new one for about 80 bucks. I've got sixty, but if I clean the house up like, super good, she'll chip in the extra 20.

Plus it comes with Painter Classic, which even though it's not new it's still Painter.
VERY excited. ]]> ~alexicats http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5944447/ http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5944447/ Fri, 15 Jul 2005 17:21:20 PDT
She's dead and I never knew her. I want anyone who even sees this to pray for her family real quick and if you don't pray...she left behind a little girl who will never freaking know her mother, all because of that damned disease.

I haven't been able to get through her journal entries yet...my computer's being an ass. I've already read a handful...and yet, they've made me bawl. What will the rest of them do to me?

So take a moment to visit her page. To remember her. To pray. Maybe to donate a few dollars to her family, or a cancer treatment type place.

------

The night she died, I was having a sleepover with my friends. I was laughing becase we went out on a walk dressed idiotically and got 16 honks and a whistle. I feel guilty.

[link] ]]> ~alexicats http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5937772/ http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5937772/ Thu, 14 Jul 2005 23:06:52 PDT
Sooo. My mom let me have milk, eggs, and wheat back because I'm going to camp soon anyway, and I need to eat there. i'm horribly depressed because my best friend can't go, which would nopt only be good for her but also for me. I suck at making friends.

HI! ]]> ~alexicats http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5923417/ http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5923417/ Wed, 13 Jul 2005 12:54:38 PDT
I want cheese, my rooms a mess, the bathroom smells like dog pee, all I've had is a handful of cereal, I can't draw, my scissors are lost, I still can't work PSP properly, I have horrible cream for my skin, I might have to miss FMA an Inuyasha tonight, ants are coming in my room, I need to shower, and my best shorts are dirty.

Oh. And one of my best friends is moving. Out of town, and later to California.

x_x

One of my other friends is coming to spend the night tonight, and last minute she got invited, so hopefully she can stay. Of course, seeing as how we already had some crap planned, she might get a bit bored. Oh well. There's a somewhat androgynous boy named Damion that lives across the street. It's always fun to annoy the hell out of him.

Ooh. Did a quick 20 or so minute sketch and it looks better than what I've been drawing. ]]> ~alexicats http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5912960/ http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5912960/ Tue, 12 Jul 2005 10:43:01 PDT
Yay for teh Steffy!

In other news, I'm having my first art trade ever with .

Yup. ]]> ~alexicats http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5904251/ http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5904251/ Mon, 11 Jul 2005 12:32:58 PDT
Two days ago I had 400 page views. Now I'm almost at 450. Steffy is pleased. I luff everyone whose ever ever ever given me a pageview.

Umm. Ok. Added a bunch of people I've been watching but not really watching last night. I've been lurking around lots of their galleries fro a while and decided to add them. Finally.

Day three of my crappy diet. In about a week I can add one of the food items back in. I'm adding wheat first, then milk, then lastly eggs.
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Screw it. I'll have cheese and noodles and eggs whenever I damn well please. I want real food. I'm swearing. I -feel- like swearing in front of my mother. But no. I will refrain. ]]> ~alexicats http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5894734/ http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5894734/ Sun, 10 Jul 2005 12:31:51 PDT
I'm amazed by my sudden leap in pageviews and watchers, even if both are small numbers. I mean, really small. I luff you all.

I love pineapple. ]]> ~alexicats http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5881924/ http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5881924/ Fri, 08 Jul 2005 23:19:11 PDT
Today I found out the pretty good quality art supplies I've been loking for were in the back of the store. I got a new sketchbook identical to the one I have (so now I've got two extras), and some oil pastels. I'm playing around with ideas for how to break them in.

Today I start the real elimination diet. We got soy milk, tofu, gluten/egg/milk free waffles, bread, and cereal, soy sour cream, veggie cheese, and egg substitute. We're not sure if i'm allergic to any of this stuff, but they still need to test. >< Mum suspects I'm allergic to milk.

I'm going insane. I miss my friends so much. Not my friend Lex, whose on vacation, or Sandy whose at camp. I know I'm going to see them before school gets started, and I know how to get to them. My other two friends, Ashley and Keasha (who I just finally became friends with at the end), I have no way to see them or talk to them. I'm getting desperate. I saw a short, brwn haired girl at the store today andthe first thought I had was about missing Ashley. Oi.
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0_0 I got ten pageviews overnight. Where the heck are tey coming from? Not complaining. Just befuddled.

Using my mom's computerto get on and check my watch, but she doesn't know I have an account here so I have to delete her history and stuff. It'd be soo much easier if she had netscape. -_-;;

OMG LEXI IS BACK! -runs off the phone- ]]> ~alexicats http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5870887/ http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5870887/ Thu, 07 Jul 2005 19:53:15 PDT
This entry contains annoying Steffy ranting. :3 No need to read any farther.

Trial subscription ended. Plus, it's sad about the bombings. I feel for all the English people who are grieving and all. It feels odd not being the country who was bombed.

Well, we went to the pediatrician today for this ezcema like rash that's all over me. We went to a pediatrician on Tuesday, too, but it was a different one. I thought I had ezcema and a nickel allergy, for example, and the first doctor said it was just normal ezcema. My throat was sore, and she said it was fine without checking.

The second doctor explained that I could be getting it all over my body, not just the places where I had nickel rash, because I was scratching the infected areas and then scratching elsewhere. I might also possibly be allergic to wheat, milk, or eggs. She also checked my throat and confirmed I had a sinus infection. And the second doctor says I might possibly have scoliosis or whatever.

So now I'm on some huge pill, Flonase, Elidel, Desoximetasone, and Triamcinolone. Plus the thick cream for skin protection. I can't wear any nickel or else I'll break out. If I've got the scoliosis I might need some physical therapy crap, and if it ever got really bad I might need back surgery, but the chances of that are like .1%

Plus, I have to do an elimination diet crap to see if I'm allergic to wheat or milk or eggs. I don't want to be allergic to wheat least of all, because then I'd be copying Sandy. Luckily, if I have a food allergy I can still have a little, jus not overly much.

So I have to go to a third doctor soon to check for scoliosis. Daaaammn. And I miss Keasha and Ashley and Sandy and Lex. And my other friend whom I haven't spoken to in weeks.

Ok. My complaints. I feel whiny today. I am whiny today. Forgive teh Steffy. Huge whint Steffy complaints are notfun and therefore ignored.
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Better. Talked to my first friend in almost a week.
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Starting a no wheat/eggs/milk diet tomorrow. Then we'll slowly add them back in one by one. I'm drinking all my yogurt (literally drinking) before tomorrow. I think it's silly to do a two week to a month food diet when we don't even have proof I have a food allergy. ]]> ~alexicats http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5856877/ http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5856877/ Wed, 06 Jul 2005 12:40:53 PDT
Working on CE (mah comick) again. I needed some time to work on Photoshopping, I guess.

Ummm. That's about it.
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I have so much crap to finish. And I'm covered in this sticky, hot, gross cream. My skins been breaking out horribly.

My patriotic pic is turning out way differently than I originally planned. I should get it up tonight.

Can't wait for Adult Swim, when the house gets cool. I'm beginning to appreciate Inuyasha and Kagome more, but I can't wait to see how they get Shippo and Sango and whatever his name is. -switches to FMA- Last night, when that Hughes guy died, I swear I was crying. That was so sad.

]]> ~alexicats http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5847433/ http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5847433/ Tue, 05 Jul 2005 13:02:46 PDT
My mom is psycho. We went to the doctor and...well, anyway, she rants. And she's easily impressionable. She takes my grandma's and my aunt's advice like gospel. If they say it, it's obviously the best thing in the world.

I gathered up all the stuff for my rashes. I've got super bad excema that's EVERYWHERE. Legs, arms, chest, stomach, back, shoulders, even under my hair.

A tube of Triamcinolone, a tube of Elocon, a tube of hydrocortisone, Aveeno lotion, antibiotic ointment, Elidel, moisturizng hydrocortisone, Aveeno body wash crap, Eucerin moisturizing cream, a tube of Desoximetasone, this really super duper maximum sdtrength hydrocortisone crap, and some acne/rash pills called Ery-Tab. I have no clue what half of the stuff in that list is. And I've lost some of my stuff.

I feel stiiiiicky. And looonely.
----
I was going to do some patriotic type gown or outfit, but I used a rather neglected character(s?) instead. I have a character named Becca, not the one I already have a picture of up. She's the second Becca. The first was her polar opposite. Anywho, I drew up a somewhat androgynous character sketch, so it serves as both original Becca and Rueben. But they're not related, not even in the same plot elements. SOoOoOo. Yep.

]]> ~alexicats http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5838801/ http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5838801/ Mon, 04 Jul 2005 14:41:25 PDT
Happy 4th!

-----

Turns out all I had to do was reboot. X_x

Oi. Inspired by someone's question (that one really good Kittynn photographer) I'm making a list of randomosities. Maybe I'll post it later.

Making a fourth of July type picture that I'll hopefully get up by tomorrow. Finished the Inner Senshi Sailormoon things. Started on the outer.

]]> ~alexicats http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5829259/ http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5829259/ Sun, 03 Jul 2005 14:21:08 PDT
My mother is overwieght. I'm not saying it mean, just that she is. So today when we were eating ice cream, she told me to get her another cone, and I said, "Aren't you dieting?" So she spazzes, grounds me indefinitely, and begins screaming at me to do some laundry which she never even mentioned before now. She's so immature. Like a few extra chores on my part will make her any less fat? I think I have a right to help her diet, anyway. It's not my fault she's fat.

Anywho.
----
Omg. 0_0 She's giving me all the laundry, all the dishes, and taking care of all the dogs, even her stupid one, plus my normal kitty responsibility.

She said, "You know what to say." So I said, "Sorry." And she was all, "A day late and a dollar short." Wtf. It hasn't been a day yet and I'm broke. NGH.

I absolutely refuse to clean up after her dumb animal. I might not be on for a few weeks, but I can try.

----
Thank goodness for Grandmothers. Mine convinced my mom to let me off the hook, and normally she's stricter than my mum. She can get really immature when she's angry. So can I, but I'm still an adolescent or whatever.

I'm going to finish up some zodiac type things tonight, then I'm going to start on new stuff.
Birthstones, months, chinese zodiac, birthflowers, colors, some writing, maybe some fanarts. If I did some fanart type stuff it'd probably be Sailor Moon. I only saw it a few times as a little kiddie, and it's een eons since I've seen it, but I've always been interested in it, now more so thanks to a comment from a close friend and seeing a Sailor Moon chibi piece by another deviant. Hmm.

I've gotten fifty pageviews in 9 days. 0_0 That's amazing. That's also 5.5 a day. Not much, but pretty good, for me.

]]> ~alexicats http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5820466/ http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5820466/ Sat, 02 Jul 2005 12:10:39 PDT
I love french bread.
-----
Found my sketchbook, but it won't do me any good. HUGE block. I know what I need to do to fix it, but I'm still trying figure out how to do it. So yeah. It would help if I had a really good midnight thunderstorm, but it's still an hour or so from sunset. And spontaneously bestowed laservision might help, but so far it hasn't happened.
----

-moans- My throat hurts like hell so my mom gave me nasty menthol drops and now it feels like I swallowed vaporub and have a sore throat.

My best friend is on vacation, and my other friend is down in Colorado for a few more weeks, and my other two friends I haven't talked to or seen since June the third. I have no idea what they're doing, and I don't want to call just to find they're at camp. And my other friend who's an online friend hasn't been on in about two weeks.

On the bright side, I'm slowly getting rid of this block.

Omg. I can't feel my tongue.

]]> ~alexicats http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5812732/ http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5812732/ Fri, 01 Jul 2005 19:22:37 PDT
In April I wrote about a dog my mom got spontaneously. Now the damned thing lives in his house or tied to our kitchen door. Why the frik did she waste money on it?

I'm on Neopets again. Omg. Save me.

I might buy a small subscrip, but I'm probably put money in my bank account. It's got about five bucks in it now. XP

Umm. So. Yep. That's bout it.
-----

Hah. Hahaha. My mom volunteered us for that stupid Neilsen TV Rating crap for some religious purpose. She thinks she'll get rid of reality TV shows or something. Damn thing. Does she actually think I'll do it?

ARGH. Steak in my frikin teeth.
-----
I feel like crap. My throat hurts. I feel like doing the peter Panda dance.

I'm now officially watching 100+ people. I mean, with so many great artists on DA, it's hard not to. I wish I could watch more. I watch everyone's deviations and scraps and now journals, because I like interesting ones.

I'm in the mood to tell stupid stories. Not that anyone will read them, but it feels good writing them out. I already told the one about the governer ([link]). Ooh.

Just about a month ago my grandpa came with his Japanese friends and al. And we were at a buffet restaurant, when I stood up and, omg no kidding, the seat of my jeans had ripped. Well, actually, half of the back pocket had popped off. And, no kidding, I was wearing pink underwear. I'm serious. Doesn't stuff like that only happen in sterotypically nonfunny comics and kiddie shows? Luckily we had a nice big jacket in the car.

Hmm...

]]> ~alexicats http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5802644/ http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5802644/ Thu, 30 Jun 2005 14:18:59 PDT
Umm. Got a new backpack for my notebooks. It's actually my mom's old one, but I've been wanting one like it for a while now and hey, it was free.

I've been obsessing, it feels like, about watching Inuyasha an FMA between one thirty and two thirty in the morning. Especially Fullmetal. Kagome and Inuyasha are cute, and it's a really cool show, but Winry and Ed and Al are just such cool characters, and the end always leaves you hanging. Argh.

Major drawing block.

]]> ~alexicats http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5791302/ http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5791302/ Wed, 29 Jun 2005 15:09:05 PDT
Umm. Yeah. Stayed up til 4 drawing when I meant to get to bed as soon as FMA ended. I mean, before the end credits even stopped. It usually gets over at 2:30 here. Well. Whatever.

Today I get to work on costumes for VBS and scripts. Funfunfun.
------
YAY! I finished my Taurus sketch completely and am now scanning my Aquarius.
I'm starting on Garnet later today. I'm done with my list. Because I suck at fanart, I removed some stuff from my old list, and I replaced it all with working on comics.
-Birthstones-Birthflowers-Writing Pieces-Chinese Zodiac-Months-
No. I'm not copying a certain somebody with these, if you'll read I posted about these a few days ago and the only difference is removed fanart. Oh. and I added months.

"After I'm done with my zodiac, I'm planning on doing a little Harry Potter or TT fanart, then probably birthstones. Maybe something on colors? I'm contemplating doing birth flowers and/or chinese zodiac. Or Disney heroines. They rawk butt."---Me. Last Sunday

Gemini: Done
Cancer: Done
Leo: Done
Virgo: Done
Libra: Done
Scorpio: Done
Sagittarius: Done
Capricorn: Done
Aquarius: Done
Pisces: Inked
Aries: Sketch
Taurus: Sketch ]]> ~alexicats http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5781239/ http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5781239/ Tue, 28 Jun 2005 21:01:40 PDT
Aiy. What should it be called? Severe Yaoi Fanatic Syndrome? SYFS? Ewwww. Ewww. I hope this passes as fast as that runescape thing did.

I was so bored last night I drew Capricorn, scanned the pencil drawing, and went on to paint it with watercolors. Maybe I'll submit both. Maybe not. We'll see how it scans.
-----
Went to church for some work on VBS stuff. We're making togas for our skit, Lex.

Anywho. I figured it out. It's not that I'm a creepy yaoi fanatic, it's:
a) FMA. I'm a Creepy FMA Fanatic.
b) Ed is deahd shmeksy. Who wouldn't like him?
c) Ed and Roy as a couple is hott. There's no way around it.

Gemini: Done
Cancer: Done
Leo: Done
Virgo: Done
Libra: Done
Scorpio: Done
Sagittarius: Done
Capricorn: Done
Aquarius: Sketch
Pisces: Idea
Aries: Idea
Taurus: Idea ]]> ~alexicats http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5771772/ http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5771772/ Mon, 27 Jun 2005 22:27:15 PDT
After I'm done with the Zodiac, I'm making a list.
A little Harry Potter fanart, a piece of TT fanart, a few Disney heroine fanarts, personifying gems, and then some writing pieces. Yiy.
----
Ate 7 rice cakes so farsince eleven. Now it's seven. I'm about to eat another. I have a half-drunk gallon of gatorade. I'm going to be sooo full. -feels barfy-
---
OMG. Omg. omg. 0_0 I was just going through all of these Fullmetal clubs because, you know, I'm becoming addicted to Fullmetal and Inuyasha and all of those damned things. And I came across an EdxRoy club. Isn't that disgusting?

I want to join. 0_0 I swear. I'm becoming one of those creepy yaoi fanatics. Omg. Omgomgomg. I feel all pervy.

Gemini: Done
Cancer: Done
Leo: Done
Virgo: Done
Libra: Done
Scorpio: Done
Sagittarius: Sketch
Capricorn: Sketch
Aquarius: Idea
Pisces: Idea
Aries: Idea
Taurus: Idea ]]> ~alexicats http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5766156/ http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5766156/ Sun, 26 Jun 2005 21:05:24 PDT adore Paranoia Agent. The roller blading kid is the creepiest thing ever. Only not when he's all funkley with a sword and all. Holy Warrior is a great episode. :3 I'm SO confused by it all, but it still rawks butt. I'd like to fanart it, but I've got stuffs I'm planning already. My mom boughted me a new spiral sketchbook for when I run out of this fat one. She's so supportive. Except of my gag characters I made out of my friends.

Anywho. Got two practice gag comics done. They look really bad, but they're sorta kinda not really funny. The title, minus the um part, is a qoute. Afterwards, automatically regenerating balls of armpit fuzz shoot from her armpits while emitting a highly fashionable 'ching' noise.

After I'm done with my zodiac, I'm planning on doing a little Harry Potter or TT fanart, then probably birthstones. Maybe something on colors? I'm contemplating doing birth flowers and/or chinese zodiac. Or Disney heroines. They rawk butt.

Gemini: Done
Cancer: Done
Leo: Done
Virgo: Sketch
Libra: Sketch
Scorpio: Sketch
Sagittarius: Idea
Capricorn: Idea
Aquarius: Idea
Pisces: Idea
Aries: Idea
Taurus: Idea ]]> ~alexicats http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5752942/ http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5752942/ Sat, 25 Jun 2005 11:25:22 PDT
Gemini: Done
Cancer: Done
Leo: Done
Virgo: Sketch
Libra: Idea
Scorpio: None
Sagittarius: Idea
Capricorn: Idea
Aquarius: Idea
Pisces: Idea
Aries: Idea
Taurus: Idea ]]> ~alexicats http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5745437/ http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5745437/ Fri, 24 Jun 2005 14:25:23 PDT
I'm finishing up a quick simple drawing I'm going to scan and torture in PSP. I found a great method for cel shading, and I'd really like to try. Whatever it is, it will probably come out in scraps.

I'd really like to do something with the zodiac. I'm starting on Gemini today, so hopefully, if it turns out ok and I decide to do it, I'll end on Taurus.

I'll try to add more later. Not that anyone cares or anything.

------

Well, I got my first drawing on, the Gemini twins. Also, I now have 301 pageviews. -party- Soso happy.

-----

303! Oh. Yeah. And I finished with Cancer, but it looks like crap. Leo comes tomorrow, possibly. :3 ]]> ~alexicats http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5736836/ http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5736836/ Thu, 23 Jun 2005 18:01:12 PDT
And it's almost my fiftieth entry. -partydancetacklehug-

On the radio, its repeating, "if you're in the path of this dangerous storm, please take cover." Big thunderstorms. Some hail. Y'know. So I'm sitting by my open bedroom window poking the screen and watching the gray clouds.

Whoof. The storm went away. Not drawing. Cleaning. XP My room's horrible.

Anyway. You know what's sad? Yesterday two different kids came down my street saying that a girl up the street was getting arrested for alcohol and smoking pot and stuff. So I'm all, ok, whatever, rumors. Won't believe it 'til I get a positive confirmation. Well, my mom's friends with her mom and my brother's friends with her brother, so between the two I got a positive. She stole from her mom and pawned her jewelry, and now has a record. She's been with alcohol and cigarettes and most likely pot. And she's 13.

I know its nothing new. I know that many, many thirteen-year-olds are into this. I'm not surprised. It's just...saddening. I hate drugs and alcohol and all that crap. ]]> ~alexicats http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5723887/ http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5723887/ Wed, 22 Jun 2005 13:18:40 PDT
Anyhow.
34 characters down, 17 to go.
Only three more stories and I'm done. -cartwheels-
I'll add more later. ]]> ~alexicats http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5713897/ http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5713897/ Tue, 21 Jun 2005 12:35:08 PDT
Anyway. I now have more characters done, but only half a page filled, so yeah. I might possibly get that up today. I figured out to ink as soon as I'm done with a group. That makes everything go a lot faster.

27 out of 51 characters done.
7 out of 11 stories done.

Aie. Updates later. I'm starved right now.

------

Aww. At 6:30 my mum just randomly took us to Buffalo, took us through McDonald's, and took us back, and we got home at 8:30 or so.

Anyway. Almost got my characters done. Might possibly get them up in the next few hours. Yep. Not like anyone cares or anything. ]]> ~alexicats http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5705251/ http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5705251/ Mon, 20 Jun 2005 22:20:42 PDT
12 out of 51 characters.
5 out of 11 stories.

Aiee. So many of them. x_x I'll add some more to this entry later.
---
About to go watch Adlt Swim. It begins at midnight were I live. x_x

I like Paranoia Agent for some reason. At least that's what I think its called. Whichever one is about the kid who goes around knocking people out. And that Samurai Champloo one....I don't like it much. Well. Anyway. Seeya. ]]> ~alexicats http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5690264/ http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5690264/ Sat, 18 Jun 2005 23:22:08 PDT
So. I drew a picture for father's day. Now I'm writing something to go along with. A letter, I guess, but there's always a misc. category. It makes me all sore and titchy. Also, I know this is going to be really crappy, definitely not something I'm going to be proud of. Only last night, in my half asleep state, I really wanted to do this, so I guess now I'm doing it for half-asleep me. Umm. Yeah.

G'night. Steffy loves you. (I don't know who you are, either.)

Right. I'll leave now.
-----

Nearing four thirty. PM, of course.

I've decided to do a new project. I'm finding all my old characters as far back as fifth grade or so, then making pictures and stuff. Like a character collage. Only not. but yes. Nevermind.

The hardest part is going back and finding all of my old MCs.

----
Now I've got to draw them. ;_; ]]> ~alexicats http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5678796/ http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5678796/ Fri, 17 Jun 2005 17:09:20 PDT
Working on stuffs in PSP still. If I try to get rid of the ugly background color, it almost completely kills my lines. So I take forever to ink.

I'm also adding possible pictures to my characters and putting a copy of it like that in scraps. I dunno. Something. Maybe raid my yearbook. I know this one girl, now a freshman, that has this tiny face that has an inch or so of makeup, and then this huge forehead. Creepy.

Um. So check out my scraps. I put a thing in.

-------

Gasp. Just did that math. 37 pageviews in two days. I know its nothing compared to a lot of you guys out there, but for me, its like, woah.

Ummm. Did this drawing that's abnormally bad of a girl falling. The sketch was perfectly fine, until I colored it, and even worse, I added wings. -gasp- Horrible.

Oh. Yeeeah. So anyway. Bored to death. x_x ]]> ~alexicats http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5670435/ http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5670435/ Thu, 16 Jun 2005 20:00:39 PDT
So, I caught up on some journal reading and apparently someone is under the impression that...well, never mind. Anyway, it's some really idiotic thing about me not telling someone when I felt depressed or who I liked. Whatever, you know? Anyway, don't feel all funky. I'm just not like that. It's nothing anyone did.

Next, happy birthday to a dear friend. It's his sixteenth. Umm. Probably mentioned him somewhere else in here.

Stuff. Ah. I'm very, very pissed, possibly because it /should/ have been that time of the month again. But it's not. Anyway, I was about to heat myself up a leftover burger, when my little brother started screaming it was his and started grabbing onto me and trying to pull me down by my shoulders. I was all, wtf? but I never really said it. So here he is screaming bloody murder, "That's mine!" at the top of his lungs, and I'm still, wtf?
So he screams to my mom I'm eating his burger, which was ordered for him earlier but was actually a mistake. So my mom starts yelling at me to drop it, so I do, but I was working with another food item over the garbage can, so it lands there. So Steven, my small brother, starts screaming I threw it away. I'm still all, wtf? and my mom starts screaming at me.
Anyway, she tried to make me go to bed because I did exactly as she freaking told me, so I just came back and sat down and started typing. ]]> ~alexicats http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5651679/ http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5651679/ Wed, 15 Jun 2005 11:57:38 PDT
I'm also adding more deviations. It's not much, but it's something. Well, It's 1:11 AM here. I think I'll add more during the normal day.

OMG what happened to my profile crap? And everyone elses? Its all gooooone.

------

Well, it's horrible, but it happened. Last night about midnight I got an account at midnight and played until four. (I woke up a t noon. x_x) I'm a Runescape nerd. -gasp-

And we're out of ricecakes. ;_; Nuuuuu. I'm soooo hungry.

Oh. Um. Concerning random stuff like drawings. None of them are very good, but I scanned a bunch up, but I still have to work on them in PSP because I smudge so much. That's all. Not that anyone really cares.

x_x You should see my message center. I watch so many people there are like, a billion deviations everyday. And I only watch four peoples journals too, and its still packed. Aiaiai. ]]> ~alexicats http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5650023/ http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5650023/ Tue, 14 Jun 2005 19:53:34 PDT
You know something? I went out last night and commented on a bunch of deviations. That made me feel better. For one, comments usually make people feel better about their work. I mean, it usually makes me feel better when I get comments on my stuff. So that's all fine.

I was experimenting around with crayons and markers and I like it. So I'm tempted to put it up.

Just when I thought I might go cold turkey on my rice cakes and gatorade.... I found the gallon of grape I'd hidden under my bed a while ago and my mother informed me we weren't out of rice cakes. Just the cheesy rice cakes. So now I'm eating way too many apple cinnamon ones. Not as good as cheese, but stll rice cakey. At least they're not fatty and super sugary and all. I'd be worried if they were more uber bad for you.

I finally got my Dr. Pepper bike back. Yes. It's a Dr. pepper bike. I'm a mobile advertisement. But it's a great bike. Beautiful sparkly Dr. pepper red, with little Dr. Pepper logos.
Two years ago my mom and I were at a Habitat for humanity Halloween event. Every year we volunteer there, because we have a HfH house. So anyway, just as the raffle for a harvesty-type quilt and a beautiful red bike were about to close, mum took a break and went and put in twelve tickets for the quilt, then felt bad and put in twelve tickets for the bike.

Let me tell you, people had been in and out all day, it was being advertised on the radio and all. So even with twelve tickets the chances of winning were sooooo slim. So she was turning around, and because she had come last minute, they had just drawn the winners. And omg I won the bike. But it was in my moms name, so (my mom has CP that's affected her legs, therefore she uses a wheelchair) as she rolled by to climb it, a woman said, "Too bad you can't ride it," but it was for me.

Anyway, it was way too big for little sixth grade me, so we kept it at my grandma's for two years. Now its still slightly large, and the tires need pumping, but she's a beauty. ]]> ~alexicats http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5636780/ http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5636780/ Mon, 13 Jun 2005 12:56:00 PDT
I figured it out. I'm just much too sensitive. That's why I'm always taking offense to random things.

Drawing still, but I have to wait about 30 hours to get it on my comp and ink it and stuffs. I've decided I need a ig character cleanout. I have about a billion. Possibly resurrecting an old one. Sadie Masontelli? I forgot her name. Her last name is really, really lame.

I'm about to barf up rice cakes.

-------

I ate about 16 rice cakes in less than 24 hours. >>

Lately I have been feeling like all of my hobbies and crap are being infiltrated by anyone of my four friends, so to make myself feel better I've made a list of things that are entirely mine and mine alone.

Bagpipes-Nobody else is playing them
Adult Swim-It's my Steffy time. Sad.
Webcomics-Some read them, but I read the most.
Webcomicing-As far as I know, nobody started or is trying to. Yet.
Musical Tastes-None of them listen to big band or swing or Japanese crap.

:/ Wow....DA used to be one. But now its not. But that's ok.

Micheal Jackson should go to hell. ]]> ~alexicats http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5631066/ http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5631066/ Sun, 12 Jun 2005 21:01:34 PDT
I'mfeeling slightly better. I just won't let myself get all sad. still a little sore. I apologize for my last two whnyful entries.

I'm grounded for two days, tomorrow and until 7 PM Tuesday. >< My mom even gives me up to the hours /times/. So I'm on by sneak, typing vewwy vewwy quetly. Radio, computer, tv, friends. I can use my headphones and all and do everything but call or visit friends.

I got bored last night so I drew comic characterizations of all my friends. They're cute, but I'm not sure I want to do anything with them. I had inked a -lot- of them, then I acidentally deleted it all.

I'm in the mood to watch Gilligan's Island. Not The Real gilligan's Island, but the real Gilligan's Island.

-parties- 40th entry! ]]> ~alexicats http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5598926/ http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5598926/ Thu, 09 Jun 2005 12:31:00 PDT
I stayed up until 3 sitting around and feeling empty inside and... how do I explain it? Like someone had not only stolen my gut, but also left a gaping wound. How can someone hurt so much and not be dead? Shouldn't you just die at a certain point?
No. I'm not suicidal. I'm just temporarily depressed. I'm so good at pretending to be happy that nobody knows. I'm not sure if that's good or bad.

I know it shouldn't hurt this much. It wasn't even that big of a deal, and he said he felt guilty. You know what makes me feel like the most awful person? I want my friend to feel guilty about it. I want my friend to feel lke I do. I know I must be making a mountain out of a molehill, or whatever that thing says, but I'm still sore on the inside. I know its stupid and pointless. It shouldn't matter to me. But it does. Or else I wouldn't have fell asleep last night on a damp pillow. I feel so....bruised.

Right now, if you could open me up and look on the inside, would I be black and blue all over?
------
Took a bike ride with my little brother. That cheered me up considerably.

It wasn't that this was brought up that I know notice. It's just remembering. It was nice to forget it all. Like the time Alex was donned Bonkittynita. And me? I was just Steph. It wasn't that I wanted a perty nickname. It was just so lonely.

In about a week I will no longer be the only one who can talk to him during the day. I know I'm just being a 'tard, but I don't want to be left out again. It's the worst feeling.

I think I'm phobic of it. I'm so scared of being left out, whether its in the form of being forgotten or ignored or just plain not liked as well. I don't want them talking again to relapse it all. It hurts so much.

I'm so sore.
-----
It's nearing midnight. By ten minutes, in fact. I'm going to go sneak some adult swim and maybe a sandwich. I'm starved.

I still feel saddish. I'm not going to be second to my friend. Life, I think, is like my math papers. Little is right, but its all supposed to be. ]]> ~alexicats http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5591239/ http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5591239/ Wed, 08 Jun 2005 17:00:13 PDT
Ok. I need to spill but there is no one so I will write it here. That makes me feel better.

So waaay back in October I met this one person. I was preparing for Nano at the time and was therefore kind of blind. Anyway, I added him to my list on MSN.
November was a blur. I lost touch of MSN people.
December I got back into normal life. And I realized what a completely awesome person that guy was. And I had a huge crush for aobut three weeks. Unfortuneately, my best friend like the same person. So I kept shut. And at the very end, I made Bryce.
Bryce was a character that I made I got him an MSN account. All my closest friends thought he was real.
All through January I pretended he was real, talked to him around friends, etc., etc. I stopped liking that person.
February I told everyone he was a fake. Surprisingly, all my friends thought it was a good gag. And then I liked this certain person again. Only, my friend still liked him and I could tell: they'd both rather talk to the other one than me. That month I felt so left out. Some nights I'd go to sleep lways made me feel so empty. Not suicidal empty. Like half of my guts had just dissappeared.
March was the month I accidentally ruined her life.
April was...amazing. I was being talked to. Neither of them had the other one to talk, to, so naturally I was the alternative. I'll admit, I started liking him again. I don't think my stomach was gone that whole month.
May was the same. I decided I was an asexual that month, so I kind of stopped feeling all those ways. I didn't want to admit it, but I was enjoying her gone because, as I was not stupid, I had realized that he had never ever been friends with me before she was gone. I was just her friend, even though I'd known him just as long. One night she came over and I let her talk to him. She talked for a few hours, during which I felt left out like I had before, only worse. It felt like I had nothing in me from the waist up. I spent the entire time feeling like I might cry, pretending to be working on something in my sketchbook.
And today, finally, he told me I was right about him liking my friend more. I know that ths just sounds like some stupid teenybopper show to someone else, and that you all must think I'm whiny. Probably because I am. But I no longer think I'm insane for feeling the way I did. So I'm better now. ]]> ~alexicats http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5588255/ http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5588255/ Wed, 08 Jun 2005 12:36:30 PDT to stuff the last 400 in.

I'm torn between my CE plot or my newer one, which involves a fortune teller/mechanic and a dead guy and a creepy thing. W00t!

I've gone into official psychotic creative mode. I'm drawing and plotting and soon-to-be writing. Not that the outcome will be good, but there'll be a lot of it. At least, a lot more than usual. I haven't really been able to write since November. I guess that's ok though, because I took up drawing more vigorously since, and I must say, I've improved so much this past year. Hard to believe.

Eh. Stayed up so late last night watching Adult Swim for the first time in months. I only got a few shows in. Half of Futurama, half of ATHF, Inuyasha, and Fullmetal. I think I'll stay up super late again. My Adult Swim starts at midnight.

;_;

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This is my 37th entry. It seems like a lot more. Or a lot less.

My last entry without the 'WORD: DESCRIPTION' title format was about nothing in particular. The title was "I'm in the mood for a little sax right now." which used to be my key phrase. Then it was "Catty and rude." Have I ever told the story about that? I must, really, if I haven't.

Then I stole "I put the 'f' in effort" from this one kid. That's so awesome. ]]> ~alexicats http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5582670/ http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5582670/ Tue, 07 Jun 2005 18:33:52 PDT joined the other day. That is Lex. If anyone will kindly read my first journal entry ever, I mentioned her there. Yup. I ruined her life.

Speaking of random, what about those few day subscriptions that are randomly being given? I'd love to get a trial run. Maybe I'll ask for a subscrip for Christmas this year if I like it well enough.

I'm trying to scan a few pages of my sketchbook. Maybe I'll get them up later.
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Oooh. Tablets. Wacom tablets are soooo loverly. :3 Maybe next time I talk to my grandpa, I'll slip in a bit about saving up for one. Does anyone know if refurbished ones are any good? I saw a 3x5 refurbished one I'd love to have. Do tablets work well? I've never used one before, let alone seen one.

Working on making a picture look clean. I could hit myself for not cleaning up my last one. ]]> ~alexicats http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5570144/ http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5570144/ Mon, 06 Jun 2005 12:43:12 PDT
I need to be a better drawer. But no matter how hard I try, I can never seem to improve. Maybe I'm just not meant to draw. ]]> ~alexicats http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5550800/ http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5550800/ Sat, 04 Jun 2005 10:49:48 PDT
HA! I poked my first new sevie yesterday!
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My friend drew a beautiful fanart of someones work. She has only been drawing for a few months, and I have been drawing as long as I can remember. It almost makes me sad how much talent someone else can have when I have next to none. I'm seriously considering just leaving and having an empty account for ever and ever. ]]> ~alexicats http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5536549/ http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5536549/ Thu, 02 Jun 2005 20:30:26 PDT
Wow. How did I score a hundred page views? For me, ythats the hugest number ever, and most are probably there because I go around deviant watching everyone.

I got my first character sheet up. It's very unproffesional and skitchy, but it'll do. I've got some more to do, and I've also got to make the site less....white. I'm thinking sea foam green, sky blue, and brown for my colors.

I also need to get some smoother pens. Yay.

Hugs to Sandy, my dear friend, who bought a yearbook for me when I forgot my money. I must pay her back tomorrow with ten bucks and a hug. I'm having a hard time deciding....purple or blue pens for my yearbook signing?

Hmm. Onto more keenspace instructional things. Toodles! ]]> ~alexicats http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5494066/ http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5494066/ Sun, 29 May 2005 15:04:34 PDT
Also, i can play aravis. Sax, flute, bagpipes...I'm thinking about saving up for a clarinet or bass clarinet too, just to keep me really, really busy this summer. I'll have to pick between Aravis and Chloe next year. >< ]]> ~alexicats http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5475454/ http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5475454/ Fri, 27 May 2005 09:12:41 PDT
Schmidt, Mark. The 1970s. San Diego; Greenhaven Press, 2000.

Dudley, William. The 1960s. San Diego; Greenhaven Press, 2000.

McWilliams, John. The 1960s Cultural Revolution. Westport; Greenwood Press, 2000.

Stern, Micheal & Jane Stern. Sixties People. Alfred A. Knopf, 1990.

Young, Jean & Micheal Lang. Woodstock Festival Remembered. Ballentine Books, 1979.

Woodstock ’69 Lives. [link]
August 16, 2004. May 25, 2005.

Woodstock Festival. [link]
May 25, 2005. ]]> ~alexicats http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5462342/ http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5462342/ Wed, 25 May 2005 23:12:37 PDT
I'm so worried my little outbursts of bitterness and evil rwar steffy stop, or I might lose all my friends. That all. i'm tired. G'night. ]]> ~alexicats http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5452312/ http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5452312/ Tue, 24 May 2005 21:02:59 PDT Run to library, check about ten billion books out about Vietnam War: DONE-one hour
Band Concert lasting from 7 until 8:30: DONE-1.5 hours
Finish up small refridgerator project: DONE-15 minutes
Complete toothpick bridge project that asshole in my group refuses to do: INCOMPLETE-estimate about 3-4 hours

Also, I lost my math worksheet, and now I need to go get a new one. -rubs temples and dies- ]]> ~alexicats http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5437018/ http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5437018/ Mon, 23 May 2005 09:15:45 PDT
I've finally got my webcomicsite at [link] I still have a ton to do, seeing as its completely empty. Comics must be made, buttons must be made, showy character reference sheets done. So much to do, and I still need to adjust my scanner so it doesn't look like that. -points at ID-

I feel so excited sometimes, and so hopeless. About the comic. It'll get doe though. As soon as I make peace with my scanner and figure AutoKeen out.

Ooh. Last school dance tonight. First one my moms letting me go to, after assuring her that they lock us in and all. She thought I'd come home a pregnant addict or something. *rolls eyes* ]]> ~alexicats http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5425261/ http://alexicats.deviantart.com/journal/5425261/ Sat, 21 May 2005 23:13:51 PDT
Anyway. I drew more with charcoal. My freinds and mom says its ok, but i don't really trust them to give me fair reviews because, duh, they're my friends and family. Ha.
I wish you could open yourself up and show people whats on the inside of you. Because on the outside, I've got it all figured out. I'm the "smart" (I say smart only because that's what people call me instead of "Stephanie" in my social studies class. But I guess "Smart Girl" is better than nothing.) girl who acts so hyper it makes her look stupid. And happy. And fun. And sometimes I'm just so confused and sad about everything in general that it sorta kinda hurts.

It would be kinda like those DON'T SMOKE posters they put up that show what beautiful people looked like on the outside if they smoked, Have you ever seen those? "This is what you're doing to your insides." with a picture of a beautiful woman, were she not charred looking and black and holding a cigarette. I guess, if you cut everyone open, they'd be sorta like that on the inside. A hell of a lot different than they look like on the outside, at any rate.

So if on the outside I'm pink (pink is a happy color, right?) I want to know what color I'd be on the inside.

G'night. ]]> ~alexicats