http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:alkhemy&section=today deviantART RSS for by:alkhemy en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Wed, 16 Dec 2009 20:38:20 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://alkhemy.deviantart.com/journal/6198605/ http://alkhemy.deviantart.com/journal/6198605/ Thu, 11 Aug 2005 13:54:47 PDT
Here is the link:
[link] ]]> ~alkhemy http://alkhemy.deviantart.com/journal/5449615/ http://alkhemy.deviantart.com/journal/5449615/ Tue, 24 May 2005 15:52:26 PDT
Ironically, the best acting -briefly - came from the newly be-helmeted Darth Vader, though that quickly degenerated into a Frankenstein's Monster scene... of a Mel Brooks rather than Boris Karlof vintage. Seems young Hayden can emote better from behind a mask.

Not that I can talk - my DVDs are all on sale now, and while I'm sure they will sell well for their content, the score for technical merit is very low. At least they are out there, and the next series will be better. ]]> ~alkhemy http://alkhemy.deviantart.com/journal/5375492/ http://alkhemy.deviantart.com/journal/5375492/ Mon, 16 May 2005 16:37:49 PDT
My son told me today that my ex-wife, his mother, is in hospital, facing the loss of a toe due to not taking care of her diabetes. Now it goes without saying that the fact she's my EX-wife suggests a breakdown in our relationship... I certainly felt, and still feel, that our split was the best thing for everyone concerned. We've developed a sort of amicable neutrality since then - we talk nice, don't yell, etc.

But to my surprise, I find that while I obviously don't love her the way that prompted me to marry her, I do, in fact, still care about what happens to her. I find myself concerned for her welfare, and acknowledging that deep down inside, I will always have a little love for the mother of my children. I sort of knew this intellectually, but it is the first time this has really hit home.

Now don't mistake this for regrets - as I said, both at the time and now, I know I did the right thing, and I am happily married to a wonderful woman here in the US, and very content with my lot. I'm just taking ownership of the bond that is still there. After all, we shared eleven years of our life together, raised two children and a coven together, and shared many interests. It just wasn't meant to be a forever thing, though.

this is made all the more poignant by the fact that until I met my current wife, I didn't believe love existed. Not the "happily ever after" sort, anyway. I thought love was a label for chemistry and a certain kind of friendship, and then I met Wife Mk 2, and discovered that Shakespeare, Hollywood and the fairy tales were right. And now, looking back through the lens of my concern for her wellbeing, I realize that I loved Wife Mk 1 as well, and part of that love still lies within me. I wouldn't want to resume a relationship with her again, even if I were single. But there is still a caring, a feeling of shared experiences, that makes me want to comfort her, to heal her. I've really never experienced anything like this before, but I think it is a good thing. Maybe I am human, after all... ]]> ~alkhemy http://alkhemy.deviantart.com/journal/5367764/ http://alkhemy.deviantart.com/journal/5367764/ Sun, 15 May 2005 19:35:12 PDT
I can't do much by way of a faster processor without replacing the motherboard, but I've got some room for improvement memory-wise, so that is the next upgrade on my list. ]]> ~alkhemy http://alkhemy.deviantart.com/journal/5311004/ http://alkhemy.deviantart.com/journal/5311004/ Mon, 09 May 2005 12:39:17 PDT ~alkhemy http://alkhemy.deviantart.com/journal/5293788/ http://alkhemy.deviantart.com/journal/5293788/ Sat, 07 May 2005 13:20:36 PDT ~alkhemy http://alkhemy.deviantart.com/journal/5229665/ http://alkhemy.deviantart.com/journal/5229665/ Sat, 30 Apr 2005 12:07:02 PDT
I seriously thought I was dying at one point, in the middle of the night, having woken up unable to catch my breath, or even draw in a decent lungful. Alone in the dark, I conjured up all kinds of scenarios... cancer, emphasyma, asthma, just plain too fat to breathe anymore...

So anyway, Linda realized what the problem was last night, and got me some Benydril, and now I can breathe again. Plus I slept like a log last night.

The outcome of this is I'm determined now to get back into shape. This whole thing scared me silly - and to think I started using soy milk as part of the "get healthy" plan...

Anyway, in other news, I got to go see Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy on Monday night. It was a press screening at the El Capitan theater in Hollywood, and I loved both the movie and the venue. Reviews have been mixed, but most of the negative ones are from critics who didn't like Duglas Adams or British humor to start with, and the rest are from people peeved because they would have done it different. All I know is Linda and I loved it, and we loved every version of H2G2, so there! ]]> ~alkhemy http://alkhemy.deviantart.com/journal/5128293/ http://alkhemy.deviantart.com/journal/5128293/ Tue, 19 Apr 2005 09:37:33 PDT
I'm quite optimistic that this series will do well enough to give me a budget for the next series - I'm not too happy about some of the technical aspects of these DVDs, but each one is better than the last, and the content is stuff I'm very plesed with. The next set will kick ass!

Linda and I are still finding evidence that the trauma of the start of the year is still hitting us harder than we thought - we still catching ourselves second-guessing people's motives when they are a no-show, despite knowing there are genuine good reasons (like work) for why they couldn't make it. There is a certain vulnerability there that I'm not used to, and I'm not quite sure how to deal with it. Mostly I'm dealing with it by focussing on my work, mundane, spiritual, and the DVD project. ]]> ~alkhemy http://alkhemy.deviantart.com/journal/5087882/ http://alkhemy.deviantart.com/journal/5087882/ Thu, 14 Apr 2005 14:41:22 PDT
DVD 4 is halfway edited, so it won't be long before the whole set is available. Strangely, I can't wait to get started on the next batch. I must be going crazy... ]]> ~alkhemy http://alkhemy.deviantart.com/journal/5069735/ http://alkhemy.deviantart.com/journal/5069735/ Tue, 12 Apr 2005 13:08:02 PDT

I'm planning the next couple of sets in my head while I get the editing done on this set. Vol 3 is ready to set up, so that just leaves 4 and 5. I could feasibly get them done by the weekend, but I think I'll stretch it out another week so that I don't feel rushed. I shouldbe getting the proof copy of vol 2 any day now. ]]> ~alkhemy http://alkhemy.deviantart.com/journal/4997435/ http://alkhemy.deviantart.com/journal/4997435/ Mon, 04 Apr 2005 12:27:05 PDT
In case you hadn't noticed, I'm having a blast, even though it is eating into my social life, sleep etc.

Meanwhile, Linda and I drummed at the UU church yesterday. We apparently made a good impression, and are going to be part of a regular drum circle. ]]> ~alkhemy http://alkhemy.deviantart.com/journal/4970635/ http://alkhemy.deviantart.com/journal/4970635/ Fri, 01 Apr 2005 13:17:44 PST

Meanwhile, the Santa Anna winds have kicked in, bringing my allergies with them.... headache, stuffy, achey, mild nausea... otherwise, I'm fine.

Now that the first series of classes for the DVDs are over, I'm already being pestered for when the next batch begin. Even Linda is saying she's going to miss having everyone over on Thursday nights. ]]> ~alkhemy http://alkhemy.deviantart.com/journal/4951216/ http://alkhemy.deviantart.com/journal/4951216/ Wed, 30 Mar 2005 10:17:10 PST
I got a small payrise - though above the 'standard' one - and my boss is having a goal-setting session with me when he gets back from the UK, which will result in a title change and potentially another raise.

Meanwhile, I've finally started learning Flash in my downtime at work, and amazingly, it is making sense. So watch out for some Flash animations on my website before too long ]]> ~alkhemy http://alkhemy.deviantart.com/journal/4941659/ http://alkhemy.deviantart.com/journal/4941659/ Tue, 29 Mar 2005 08:57:14 PST
Workwise, today is the day I find out whether I get a promotion, payraise, etc. I think my chances are good, but I'm not taking anything for granted. Meanwhile, I'm very pleased with the spiritual insights I've been experiencing since we did a bone-tapping session last week. Things are looking promising.

On the hobby front, I'm looking forward to getting back to my airbrush and tattoo machine once the DVDs are all done, and I've got my eye on a nifty electric shear for cutting metal, so I might get back into armor-making later in the year. ]]> ~alkhemy http://alkhemy.deviantart.com/journal/4931616/ http://alkhemy.deviantart.com/journal/4931616/ Mon, 28 Mar 2005 07:08:19 PST
Despite the traumas of the past two years, my spiritual path appears to be getting very clear and focussed, and I have high hopes for the future. Also, Linda and I are really getting into the local UU church. UU stands for Universalist Unitarian, and they accept all spiritual beliefs, including Pagan. Yesterday's Easter/Equinox service was excellent, including a sermon about ALL the slain and risen gods... next Sunday the sermon is about Paganism, and we've ended up helping out with a drum-circle session.

All in all, things are very positive right now - a new direction is revealing itself for Briar Rose, we've found a new social avenue to replace the Raven's Flight community for us, and I have what I expect to be a very positive evaluation at work tomorrow. Plus the DVDs are going well... we tape the last one this week, and I should get the final proof for the first one in the next couple of days. My media empire has begin ... mwahhhh! ]]> ~alkhemy http://alkhemy.deviantart.com/journal/4890652/ http://alkhemy.deviantart.com/journal/4890652/ Wed, 23 Mar 2005 12:31:17 PST
Despite all this, we picked ourselves up, worked through the resulting neuroses, and ended up starting our own coven within the parent tradition, which wholeheartedly rejected the coven we had left. But the ride wasn't over yet. I'm assuming that the way we were dealt with was a result of fears generated by the problems that led to the original split, and another incident that was unconnected, but fed those fears, but the leaders of the tradition took it upon themselves to deal with us in a way that left us feeling untrusted, micromanaged, and manipulated. For the longest time, we persevered, hoping that it was a symptom of the past events, and that time would heal, resulting in the symptoms fading away. Unfortunately, it gradually became evident that things were getting worse, not better.

So once again, we girded our loins to part company. Linda and I chose to leave the tradition, and we told our coveners that they could stay in the trad or leave with us, with no hard feelings either way. They chose to stay ( apart from the one we had already parted company with - she was a catalyst for too many of the issues - and her partner, both of whom were connected with the trad leaders anyway). I hoped that things could be kept amicable, or at least tolerable.

Instead, the leadership embarked on a mission they said was for closure, but seemed to consist entirely in demonstrating how Linda and I had planned a coup for some time, and exposing our evil ways. Ironically, this mission resulted in highlighting their own inconsistencies, and while I'm not saying that we were perfect or blameless, it actually made them look worse.

The trouble was that the outcome of this was that all of us found ourselves questioning the path we were on - if the leaders were an example of what this path did to people walking it, was it a path we even wanted to be on? For some it raised issues of whether they could trust anybody, including themselves. A lot of damage was done, resulting in three members leaving the coven, and perhaps even the path. The four of us who remained, deeply hurt, questioning, and horrified by the whole thing, agreed to stick together and make something of what we still had, and forge a new path for ourselves.

So here we are. We've started fresh, taking what works from what we were taught, and resolved to build something that is effective without containing the pitfalls of where we were. We have falled back on the looser structure of the Cunning Folk of the region of the UK I grew up in - I am their leader, because we all agree that I am the leader, but there is none of the ego-massaging 'ultimate authority' or pomp and circumstance. I also have to step down after seven years, though I can step right up again if that is what is required, as long as I lay down the mantle before taking it up again. We work as a team of equals, though I have final say, and we have begun the process of enfleshing the Lore of our path by tapping the bone - talking to the ancestors andour patrons - and exploring together. So far it all looks very promising.

While we still have connections to a couple of specific groups, we have essentially withdrawn from the wider Pagan community, and I hesitate to even call myself Pagan. We have consciously dropped the use of the terms 'witch' and 'coven' - we are simply a companie of Cunning Folk. I wil continue to teach classes ( by invitation, and on DVD), but I have no intention of attending public Pagan rites again. Paganism has become something other than what I am. ]]> ~alkhemy http://alkhemy.deviantart.com/journal/4817490/ http://alkhemy.deviantart.com/journal/4817490/ Tue, 15 Mar 2005 06:55:18 PST
It is insane how much I am enjoying this process, and I'm already making plans for series II and III of the DVDs. So I hope series I sells well, to give me funds for the next one. I'm hoping to build this up into something big.... a kind of cooking show, only for magick instead of meatloaf. There is a Machiavelian part of me that would like to build this up into a media empire - sort of Martha stewart of the Pagan world (only without the jail time). Who knows? I had two books published - maybe more books, the DVDs, a magazine or two...

... one thing I do know, is I've got to get my own DVX100 - every week I spend quite a while figuring out how to reset the one I'm borrowing to some semblance of a normal picture. I can only guess what the owner is using it for in between my shoots! Don't get me wrong, I'm very grateful, and he is a great friend, but I yearn for my own equipment. My Sony camcorder does a nice backup job, and it saves so much time to work with two cameras. Hmmm, two DVX100s..... (drool) ]]> ~alkhemy http://alkhemy.deviantart.com/journal/4707018/ http://alkhemy.deviantart.com/journal/4707018/ Tue, 01 Mar 2005 22:24:17 PST
Work is getting interesting - my boss and another colleague quit, leaving me the only member of my team. Looks like I might be up for a promotion, but you can never be sure. And all this happens while my focus is elsewhere; after a year of talking about it, on Thursday I finally start taping my series of 'how-to' DVDs on witchcraft. It is going to be fun, and hopefully will bring in some much needed cash. There's no serious competition, what is already out there is dull and pompous.

So I started working my way towards competence with an airbrush, but I have a new toy - a tatto machine. Now I just need a willing victim... ]]> ~alkhemy http://alkhemy.deviantart.com/journal/3680406/ http://alkhemy.deviantart.com/journal/3680406/ Tue, 26 Oct 2004 15:58:45 PDT ~alkhemy