deviantART: by:antic-cafe

deviantART: by:antic-cafe http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:antic-cafe&section=today deviantART RSS for by:antic-cafe en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Thu, 10 Dec 2009 10:38:03 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png Update, Meme, Wishlist http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/28811089/ http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/28811089/ Mon, 07 Dec 2009 17:27:24 PST

So that mean we'll most likely be DELAYED FOR HOURS

So yeah NOT looking forward to that! But im all packed! Yes! *feels accomplished* ^.^

Ok heres a couple memes I stoleded:

swiped from

UXIE
[x] You are quite intelligent.
[ ] People donÂt like to gaze into your eyes.
[x] People seem to forget while theyÂre around you.
[ ] You like the color orange.
[x] YouÂre usually very calm and polite.
[ ] ItÂs not easy to make you angry.
[x] You donÂt have a good sense of humor.
TOTAL: 4

MESPRIT
[x] You can be very emotional.
[ ] You love to play and be active.
[ ] You can easily cheer someone up.
[x] You like the color magenta.
[ ] YouÂre more of a spunky type.
[ ] You act very girly.
[ ] You like to play Âhide-and-seekÂ.
TOTAL: 2

AZELF
[x] You are usually very determined.
[ ] YouÂre very swift when running.
[ ] You act boyish.
[x] You like the color blue.
[ ] Almost anything seems like an easy task.
[ ] You can take hard hits.
[ ] You play a sport.
TOTAL: 2

DIALGA
[x] Time seems to pass by slowly for you.
[x] You can be a little rough on people.
[x] You can take hits pretty well.
[x] Sometimes you may get into fights.
[x] You like to help others occasionally.
[x] You like the color blue.
[ ] You are pretty tall.
TOTAL: 6

PALKIA
[ ] You like the color pink.
[ ] YouÂre interested in space.
[ ] You are pretty gentle.
[ ] You usually flee from fights.
[x] You defend yourself when necessary.
[x] You like to be in water.
[ ] Your favorite gem is a pearl.
TOTAL: 2

HEATRAN
[x] You can be hot-headed.
[ ] You like heat or warm weather.
[x] You can have a horrible temper.
[ ] You dislike water, or being in water.
[x] You can be quite tough on others.
[ ] YouÂre very interested in volcanoes.
[ ] You like fire, or anything capable of burning something.
TOTAL: 2

REGIGIGAS
[ ] ItÂs hard to understand you when youÂre talking.
[x] YouÂre not so quick on your feet.
[ ] You have pretty big hands.
[ ] You consider yourself a ÂnormalÂ person.
[ ] YouÂre able to crush really hard objects.
[x] You lead a small group of people.
[x] You like to keep things peaceful.
TOTAL: 3

GIRATINA
[x] You like to stare at your own shadow.
[x] You can be pretty lonesome.
[x] You are usually pretty quiet.
[x] When people get up in your face, you get pretty angry with them.
[x] You only fight when necessary.
[x] You are different compared to those that you know.
[x] YouÂre not afraid of the dark.
TOTAL: 7

CRESSELIA
[ ] You dislike darkness
[x] You love to have sweet dreams.
[ ] You like to cheer people up when a bad dream scares them.
[x] You like to protect people.
[x] You love it when the moon is full, or at least visible.
[x] YouÂre a pretty calm person.
[x] You love to stargaze.
TOTAL: 5

MANAPHY
[x] You love to be in the ocean.
[x] Sea life interests you.
[ ] YouÂre very cheerful and playful.
[x] You can be very childish.
[x] YouÂre very close to your parents.
[ ] You love to collect seashells.
[ ] You can be easily frightened.
TOTAL: 4

DARKRAI
[ ] Nightmares ARE your sweet dreams.
[ ] People consider you to be evil, when youÂre not.
[x] YouÂre usually a loner.
[x] You love to be in the dark.
[x] Your favorite time is nighttime.
[x] YouÂre actually very gentle and kind.
[x] People fear you.
TOTAL: 5

SHAYMIN
[ ] You love to be surrounded by nature.
[x] You absolutely hate pollution.
[ ] Green is your favorite color.
[ ] You love flowers, especially pink ones
[x] You like it when people appreciate you.
[x] Your personality can change in sticky situations.
[ ] Your eyes are green.
TOTAL: 3

ARCEUS
[x] You like to be in charge of things.
[ ] When angry, it takes a while to calm down.
[ ] You usually feel very mighty and powerful.
[x] You like to help others during hard times.
[x] YouÂre actually very kind at heart.
[x] YouÂre pretty strong.
[x] Some people wish to take advantage of... ]]> ~antic-cafe HUZZZAH! http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/28792573/ http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/28792573/ Sun, 06 Dec 2009 17:42:06 PST two more dayzzzzzzzzzzz! W00T! Im filled with joy!!!!

<3 I cant wait!!

But im not really looking forward to the 13 hour plane trip...and then another 4 hr one! we go from china to san fran, then san fran to minneapolis. so its gonna be a long flight....PLUS we have to go thru customs which is a pain in the ass!

*dies*

But all Im doing today is packing and cleaning. I dont think Ill be able to get the other presents I wanted to get. TT_TT *sadpanda* oh well...AT LEAST IM GOING HOME! <3

I have that Japanese Powder body massage today too at 3pm. But I still hurt from the last one...i have bruises on my back again! >.<" so yeah...Ill just ask them to take it easy! lol XD

So once we get back I have lots of stuffs to do! We have alot of family holliday parties. One on the 20th, my fave. aunts bday on the 22nd, and a christmas eve party/present party on well..christmas eve! X3 Plus there is the EA present thingy on the 19th! I HOPE I can make that!!! *crosses fingers* I have presents for most of you! ^w^

So thats about it! Just have to keep packing...well... START packing! luls *procrastinating* >w< yeah I have my huge suitcase packed just not my other medium one...it wont take long! ...I hope...but knowing me it will...Ill put it off as long as possible.

lol as you can see I have FINALLY figured out how to do the bold text and random icons! With the help of teh lovely

<3 Much love to her! *huggles*

]]> ~antic-cafe 4 MOAR DAYZZZZZ! :EDIT: XP http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/28752841/ http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/28752841/ Sat, 05 Dec 2009 01:03:12 PST
I go up and ask FOR A HEAD AND FOOT MASSAGE but the some how miss understood me (i didnt know this yet tho) bring me to a room and give me some pj like clothes to change into (im like...they never did this for a head and foot massage before hmmm...) so i get dressed and then i realize I was getting A CHINESE FULL BODY MASSAGE! O_0 So im like ok w/e! I went with it! BUT the person doing it came in. IT WAS THE CUTE GUY FROM A COUPLE OF DAYS AGO! *diediediediedie* At this point im just like so what bring it! XD (not like that! heads out of gutters plzkthx!)

So i lay down on my stomach and he does my back,shoulders, backs of arms, and then he moves down to my lower back (the problem here is this is where it hurts like a bitch! and i get bruises..plus...it tickles.....>.> ) any way im SOOO ENJOYING THIS!!! It was heaven! but then the guy goes and starts MASSAGING MY BUTT! That kinda freaked me out..but ...yeah..i got use to it! XP hehe! then he does my thighs and back of legs, then i turn over and he does the top of my head, temple, face, front of arms, hands, and then front of legs...but once again a liiiiitle awkward! be had his hands right between my legs...it was ...interesting to say the least.........

But it WAS AMAZING!! My body feels like its floating on air! I feel soo happpy and giddy too! my body feels like jello! mmmmm...jello....lol ok nvm...so yeah! I feel great! and on monday im schedualed for a Japanese Powder full body massage! XD

So just thought that might be interesting to some ppl! Thought id share that with ya guys! ^.^"

________________________________________ ________________________________________ _______________

W00T! *super excited* Theres only four more days till I come back to the US!!!! Hehe!! ^w^
I cant wait! It gonna be great!

I got "most" of my Christmas shopping done! I have stuff for my two best friends in FL, then Elyssa,Tori,Heather,Brittany,Jonsey and Nou! <3 I hope you guys'll like them! n_n there nothing big, but still something! (im having a hard time already getting things packed! O_o )
So Im hoping I can fit everything!

I still have to go shopping for my mom and my aunt. And Im still not sure who i have for my family's secret santa (theres like over 50 ppl! so we have to do a secret santa thing) So I hope I find out soon!

Im not going shopping today because where I need to go is gonna be totally hectic! Since its Saturday and all. Ill probably go tomorrow. I might get a massage today if they let me in. I didnt make an appointment ahead of time yesterday...i forgots....>.<" heheh...so hopefully that will work!

So thats about it! Nothing really exciting going on. lol Just packing and getting things ready! Cant wait to see you all! *huggles*

LOVE LOVE

]]> ~antic-cafe A Good Update http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/28719667/ http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/28719667/ Wed, 02 Dec 2009 21:50:48 PST .< barely. but its all a big WIP. so yeah.

Im doing better tho! dont feel as down lately. But who knows that could change! *shrugs*

AS OF NOW IM OFFICIALLY COMING BACK DEC.9TH!!! W00T! *happy dance* ^.^
Im really excited, yet kinda anxtious at the same time! I just cant wait to be back!

Im hoping to go to the EA present party but the date changed. its now the 19th. so we'll see how that goes. I might be in FL at that time looking at places for me to live and maybe visiting my mom. Nothings set in stone at all...the cement isnt even mixed yet! XD lol
-_- yeah iknow! lame!

But Im getting packed and all. Im worried i wont be able to pack everything! AND im not done with my christmas shopping over here yet! >.> so yeah im hoping to get that done in the next few days.

But Im also gonna get another massage! ^w^ I REALLY like the last one! Im gonna probably go all out and maybe get like a japanese powder body massage,hand massage, cutical treatment (my nails need some love..i bite them too much ) maybe a pedicure BUT no polish or anything!, and Im trying to find a place that does facials! I need one BADLY!!! my face is like O_O wow! lol so yeah! But the spa at the hotel here doesnt have facials..so im looking for one...there bound to be one here somewhere! there are like at least 3 massage/spa places on each block! NO LIE!

So thats as much as Ive got planned so far! Just kinda taking it day by day..even tho i should be looking WAY AHEAD! but oh well! Thats what Im just gonna do! It makes my life less stressful...i think. >.<" heheh......

LOVE LOVE

]]> ~antic-cafe Difficult Times http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/28683017/ http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/28683017/ Tue, 01 Dec 2009 00:16:22 PST
Im coming home on the 9th. I want sooo badly to see all my friends! But at the same time I dont. Im afraid of what you guys will think of me. My dress has some small holes, and my glasses litterally are bent out of shape. one side is sticking out. This is all because of my sensory defensivenesss and my OCD. It hard for me to wear anything new. I look retarded. Seriously. Even if you guys dont make fun of me everyone else will. Theres no way around it.

Ive been trying SO HARD to change. To wear different things. But with all the divorce shit and mom troubles Ive been having, it just makes it 100% more difficult.

I know this doesnt make sense. And Im sorry. I wish I could explane it better. But I cant. I have a disorder that inhibits me from alot of things. And along with it comes mini disorders. I suffer from huge anxiety, depression, OCD, sensory stuff, and its basically a social disorder in a way...

Im my life is really scary right now. I dont know where Ill live. I have a place to stay over christmas break, but after that is unknown. My dad has to go back to China after that too, and I cant live here. But my mom doesnt want me to live with her. She kicked me out 6 months ago. She doenst want me to even VISIT her! Not for even 3 days!

So my dad and I have been looking into some assisted living places. I REALLY dont want to go to one! I want to have a home. Not some place....But Im starting to realize that may be my only choice.

theres this thing where its possible for me to live on my own at my own place and they check up on me and I take classes to help with some skills such as billing, setting appointments, all that stuff. Theres more too it tho. But we have to look into it. Itll be all personalized. But my dad thinks I need to be in an actual "home" where ppl are there to take care of me. I hate that. Im not retarded! I want to be independant!

I want to get a job too, but NO ONES going to take someone who looks the way I do. I look like a freak!

It hurts soo badly because all my friends can go out and have fun, get jobs, go to college, be in relationships, and all ive done the past 6 months is staying in the appartment doing nothing. I want to be with my friends. But i cant. Im stuck. And all my friends are moving forward. And Im in the same place watching them go by. Im afraid that I will loose all of you. And if that happens, i have nothing left.

Im not trying to make you guys feel sorry for me or have a pity party. Im suffering really badly and i dont know what to do. I wrote this journal to tell you guys how things are going. I feel like you should know. And I have no one to talk to about my problems. I cant tell my mom or dad because it involves them and ill just get stuck in the middle even more than i already am.

I love you guys so much. I really do! You all mean the world to me! You keep me going! I hope that you all can still accept me when I get back even tho i look weird. Im doing the best that I can do.

Thank you all. I love you.

]]> ~antic-cafe Update+Cosplay Progress http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/28659743/ http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/28659743/ Mon, 30 Nov 2009 01:00:52 PST
Saturday was nice because I got a head and foot massage! It was REALLY nice! But I was surpised/anxious when the person walked in to do it. IT WAS A GUY MY AGE!!! O_o *dies* I was like ...ok....but it was the best massage ive had here soo far! XD hehe! (and it wasnt because he was cute either! X3 ) lulz..umm..yeah..>w<

But he did this thing with my back...where he straightend it out by pressing his knee on my spine (it hurt like a bitch! but my back feels sooo much better! sleeping on a pull out sofa for 6 months isnt comfy!) but now my back hurts because there is a huge bruise there! -_- so yeah....anywaaaaaaaaaays!!

I think Im gonna post my cosplay list agian. It has grown. Dont know when Ill get around to all of them, but some are priority. Here it is:

Key:

Pink=in progress/almost done,

Red= soon to come,

Purple = priority,

Blue=want to do,

Black=maybe/dont know,

Yellow=finished

FINISHED:

Mokona Modoki

Hiei Fan Girl

FUTURE:

Presea Combatir- Tales of Symphonia (25% done)

Rhyme Bito- The World Ends With You (70% done)

Taiwan- Axis Powers Hetalia (10% done)

Ryo-Oki- Tenchi Muyo (0% done)

Dororo- Keroro Gunsou (0% done)

Kiki- Kiki's Delivery Service (0% done)

Undertaker- Kuroshitsuji (1% done)

Cheshire Cat- Pandora Hearts (1% done)

Mukuro- YYH (0% done)

http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/28572518/ Wed, 25 Nov 2009 16:29:50 PST
Also, I have another question. Does anyone know ANYTHING about the Eagle Anime "Present Party" on Dec. 12th? Ive left messages on the EA site and emailed Emily but I havent got a response yet and its been a couple weeks. so idk....

Im probably going to it I just dont know what its about and what it entails. I kinda need to know if its like a secret santa kinda thing. And if it is I hope I can still be part of it. So if anyone has any news or details about that please tell me!

LOVE LOVE!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

** Make a post in your journal. The post should contain your list of 10 holiday wishes. The wishes can be anything at all, from simple and fun to medium to really big ("All I want for Christmas is a new car/computer/house/TV.") The important thing is, make sure these wishes are things you really, truly want.

** If you wish for real possible things, make sure you include some sort of contact info in your post, whether it's your address or just your email address where Santa (or one of his elves) could get in touch with you. In this case, you can always just note someone on dA.

** Also, make sure you post some version of these guidelines in your journal, so that others can join in and participate to spread the holiday joy!

** Surf around your friend list to see who has posted their list. And now here's the important part:

** If you see a wish you can grant, and it's in your heart to do so, make someone's wish come true. Sometimes someone's trash is another's treasure, and if you have a leather jacket you don't want or a gift certificate you won't use--or even know where you could get someone's dream purebred Basset Hound for free--do it.

** You needn't spend money on these wishes unless you want to. The point isn't to put people out, it's to provide everyone a chance to be someone else's holiday elf--to spread the joy. Gifts can be made anonymously or not--it's your call

WISH LIST:

To be kissed by a special someone on NewYears

To be able to see all my friends and get giant bear hugs from them

Have a place to stay after christmas (with a friend/s, or find a room mate)

Anything handmade by my friends (i.e: drawings,plushies,acessories,ect)

REALLY cute and adorible stuffed animals

A gothic cross necklace

For my life to start straitening out

Able to go to the EA Present party and NewYears events

Jo Ann Fabrics, Michaels, Borders, or HT gift cards

To be happy for once in my life

]]> ~antic-cafe UGH! D:< and a question. http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/28558725/ http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/28558725/ Tue, 24 Nov 2009 22:58:21 PST
I saw my dad trying to make plane tickets. I asked when I was going home and he said he was only planning for HIM! O_O He said he knew when HE was going to be able to go home but not me! (srsly it makes no sense!!)

He continues to say that he wants me to go home earlier because he doenst want to "babysit" me till the 9th AND that he doesnt want to sit by me on the plane AND is gonna upgrade to buisness class while Im in economy class!!! X.x this just about KILLED ME!! OMG! He said he wants me to go home earlier by myself....yet he says he doesnt think I can do it by myself!!!

WTF!?!?!?!

HONESTLY!??! Hes making no freakin sense! Im sick of this bull shit!

I-WANT-OUT-OF-THIS-HELL-HOLE!!!!!

So i have no idea what is going on. Im so confused with all this! I honestly dont know how much more I can take!

Ok sorry about that! n_n" hehe...Im just SUPER stressed right now!

I have a question tho! I have been thinking about my cosplays and Ive always wanted to do a Yu Yu Hakusho cosplay...but dont know who Id be best as....I was wondering what your guys opinion was? Who do you think I would be good at/ able to do?

Im thinking Mukuro (even tho I hate her! but I want a Hiei to go with me! ^w^ ), Koto, and Young Genkai are all that I can think of right now....Id prefer girls...with my body structure its hard to even "TRY" to bind....so i usually avoid teh guys...>.< I like Juri too, but her out fit is too skimpy for me...yeah not showing mah belly off...tis gross...

So yeah just wondering who I would be best at! Let me know!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

** Make a post in your journal. The post should contain your list of 10 holiday wishes. The wishes can be anything at all, from simple and fun to medium to really big ("All I want for Christmas is a new car/computer/house/TV.") The important thing is, make sure these wishes are things you really, truly want.

** If you wish for real possible things, make sure you include some sort of contact info in your post, whether it's your address or just your email address where Santa (or one of his elves) could get in touch with you. In this case, you can always just note someone on dA.

** Also, make sure you post some version of these guidelines in your journal, so that others can join in and participate to spread the holiday joy!

** Surf around your friend list to see who has posted their list. And now here's the important part:

** If you see a wish you can grant, and it's in your heart to do so, make someone's wish come true. Sometimes someone's trash is another's treasure, and if you have a leather jacket you don't want or a gift certificate you won't use--or even know where you could get someone's dream purebred Basset Hound for free--do it.

** You needn't spend money on these wishes unless you want to. The point isn't to put people out, it's to provide everyone a chance to be someone else's holiday elf--to spread the joy. Gifts can be made anonymously or not--it's your call

WISH LIST:

To be kissed by a special someone on NewYears

To be able to see all my friends and get giant bear hugs from them

Have a place to stay after christmas (with a friend/s, or find a room mate)

Anything handmade by my friends (i.e: drawings,plushies,acessories,ect)

REALLY cute and adorible stuffed animals

A gothic cross necklace

For my life to start straitening out

Able to go to the EA Present party and NewYears events... ]]> ~antic-cafe Update + Wishlist http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/28497746/ http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/28497746/ Sat, 21 Nov 2009 21:36:41 PST

So I dont know anymore when Im coming back. Things have come up and changed. nothings certain. well see how it goes.

even if I get back to the US after christmas vaca i dont know where Ill be, where ill live, how Ill get around, how to get money, ect ect. Its all really scary. It seems as if college has been put aside as well. theres soo much crap going on. so yeah....>.<

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

** Make a post in your journal. The post should contain your list of 10 holiday wishes. The wishes can be anything at all, from simple and fun to medium to really big ("All I want for Christmas is a new car/computer/house/TV.") The important thing is, make sure these wishes are things you really, truly want.

** If you wish for real possible things, make sure you include some sort of contact info in your post, whether it's your address or just your email address where Santa (or one of his elves) could get in touch with you. In this case, you can always just note someone on dA.

** Also, make sure you post some version of these guidelines in your journal, so that others can join in and participate to spread the holiday joy!

** Surf around your friend list to see who has posted their list. And now here's the important part:

** If you see a wish you can grant, and it's in your heart to do so, make someone's wish come true. Sometimes someone's trash is another's treasure, and if you have a leather jacket you don't want or a gift certificate you won't use--or even know where you could get someone's dream purebred Basset Hound for free--do it.

** You needn't spend money on these wishes unless you want to. The point isn't to put people out, it's to provide everyone a chance to be someone else's holiday elf--to spread the joy. Gifts can be made anonymously or not--it's your call

WISH LIST:

To be kissed by a special someone on NewYears

To be able to see all my friends and get giant bear hugs from them

Have a place to stay after christmas

Anything handmade by my friends

REALLY cute and adorible stuffed animals

A gothic cross necklace

For my life to start straitening out

Able to go to the EA Present party and NewYears events

Jo Ann Fabrics or Michaels gift card

To be happy for once in my life

I hope everyones doing well! I miss you guys!!! I KNOW ill be coming back, I just am not sure when. At the latest itll be Dec.2nd. But I cant wait to see you all! <3 *huggles*

LOVE LOVE

]]> ~antic-cafe The CRASH http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/28401299/ http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/28401299/ Mon, 16 Nov 2009 18:18:40 PST
OK anyways...yesterday I was coming back from my last class of SAT prep and I was in the taxi. We had come to a stop. The guy ahead of us suddenly started BACKING UP FAST!! The taxi driver layed on his horn but the driver didnt hear. He came crashing right into us! This sent us back some and the car coming up behind us then crashed into us!! So we were hit two times!

I just sit there in awe totally dumbfounded. The taxi driver gets out and goes to the car that backed into us. He opens the drivers door and practically pulls the guy out and they start arguing! Im seriously thought there was going to be a huge fight! Then the other guy who ran into us came and starts arguing too! O_o I was like OMG!!!

So i just leave the money i owed the guy in the cab and just walk off. It was POURING rain! I was in some back street. There were no taxis in sight! I had to walk a couple blocks in the rain before I found one! I just got in and THANKFULLY got back home safe!

Im ok. My back hurts a little and I "might" have chipped a tooth...im not sure....I think I just scrapped the enamel off. so yeah....that was my big day yesterday!

Im as of now coming back to Minneapolis on Dec. 1st! But as of now I will be staying in WI!!! *dies* But im trying to work something out so I can stay in the cities! Well see! *crosses fingers*

LOVE LOVE

]]> ~antic-cafe Update! W00T! http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/28302980/ http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/28302980/ Wed, 11 Nov 2009 20:41:51 PST

So alot has been going on. Mainly the same old crap with my parents and the divorce. But now theres something new. Yippee! (sarcastic there!)

Well my dad says he cant live with me any longer and its driving him crazy! I feel like totall crap! On top of that his ONLY solution is to send me to a home/assisted living. I DO NOT WANT THAT!! Im not a retard! I can do things by myself! It just takes me a little longer than normal and is harder for me.

BUT I CAN DO IT!!

The main reason is because of my glasses. they fall off my face and make me look retared. SERIOUSLY! Im not joking! But im scared to get into my contacts! It scares the shit outta me!! But I know I have to! Ive been putting it off too long.

So Im supposedly going back to MN on dec. 1 or so I think. I might stay with my aunt and uncle for a couple months. But the problem is how I will get around and who will pay for me and all that crap. I'd stay till i took the SATs on Jan 28th and from there apply to USF.

I would get a job in MN if I was staying longer but most likely Im going back to florida for college if i make it.

BUT! If i cant find a place to stay or some one to "take care of me" Ill have to go back to china! and I dont want that!!! *dies* But that all depends on my dads job too!! If he gets a new contract or goes back to the us which doesnt pay well at all!!!

It looks as if Ill be going back for chirstmas and such staying with various family but from there is unknown! I might be in an assisted living place!!! I DONT WANT THAT!! My dad takes me for some kinda idiot! the other day he said I could EVEN DIAL A PHONE!!! What does he take me for!?!?!?

so its all confusing and gets me down. plus my mom doesnt really want anything to do with it. I dont know if ill see her at all. she wants to visit me in MN because her bf is there. But i wanna go to florida and see my cat and friends!! so its all one BIG GIANT MESS!!

sooooo!!! *changes topic* other than that things are going ok. Im still doing the SAT course and everyother week I take a 4+ hours SAT prep test! (its killer X_x ) thats going well just im brain dead at the end of it! I think im doing ok but the math is still hard...i forgotten everything!!!!

I hope I can work on cosplays once I get back to the Us and stay awhile. I dont know if Ill be able to be there for detour or not i really dont know!!! *crosses fingers*

Thats about all thats going on! My Visa has been fixed finally! (but ends Jan 8th so well have to renew it ONCE AGAIN!!) but anyways yeah! Just been doing my christmas list!! I have 4 ppl down and 4 to go!!! (not including family) so yeah! I have a good idea what to get!

well thats it!! Hope you all are doing well!!

LOVE LOVE

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]]> ~antic-cafe This Empty Feeling... http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/28255732/ http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/28255732/ Mon, 09 Nov 2009 20:24:05 PST

I feel so alone. So empty inside. I wish I had someone. I wish I had someone who loved me.

I see tons of ppl with the ones they love. Holding hands, cuddling, kissing ect. Im envious of them. It hurts to see others together, being happy. Especially when I am not.

Theres an empty hole in me. I feel so hollow. Like somethings missing. Sad thing is, I know what it is...

I wish I had a boyfriend....

This Journal Layout was Created by Pixelmari.

Please visit my links ]]> ~antic-cafe Update + Plans http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/28150577/ http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/28150577/ Wed, 04 Nov 2009 19:48:52 PST
But I did post pics of my Rhyme Bito WIP cosplay! I hope ppl like them! ^.^ No ones really commented about it or anything so I dont know if I did a good job or not... so yeah..I would kinda like feedback on it! *nods* It would be much appreciated! AND remember its not finished yet so yeah....XD

But it looks like I WILL be COMING BACK FOR CHRISTMAS!!! W00T!!! *happy dance* But that all could change in a second....>.> but as of now I will be coming back! I might stay for all the holidays and then all of January until I take the SAT's on Jan 28th. Then I would have to come back to china it looks like...but thats if my dads contract works out.

I REALLY dont wanna come back to china! I hate it here! It was nice at first, but its not a place someone my age should live and I have things I need to do like SAT's and applying for college.

As far as my cosplay progress goes, I sadly dont thing I will be able to make the stuff for Anime Detour. Im gonna work REALLY hard on them when I come back to the cities for awhile, but that wont be enought time. PLUS most of my stuff is in storage back in Florida...so idk how that would work out. Ill be visiting florida but its too much of a hassel and everything to bring it back up north, expecially when I dont even have a place to stay yet.

So like before everythings just hanging in the air. I wish I knew more about what is going to happen but stuff is just pretty messed up right now. so yeah...-_-

I sooo badly want to work on cosplays!!!! Its killing me!! *dies* X_x But they dont have the stuff I need to work on it here...LIKE A SEWING MACHINE!!!! so idk.....

I really want to stay in touch with all you guys! I miss you sooo increadibly much! *huggles tightly* But I will see you soon!

I still havent seen very many pics from all of your guys halloween! I would L-O-V-E to see them!!!

Well thats all for now folks!

LOVE LOVE

OH! P.S-- My Visa thing was still messed up! we got it last week and they only extended it for 2 weeks more! So we had to go thru this big ordeal and stuff. My dads company helped out this time but in order to I needed to get a physical!!! *dies* I was sooo scared!! It was creepy too! I hated it! (not going into details...>.<

But we basically had to do all that crap over again and PAY LOTS MORE MONEY!! China just wants to cheat ppl out of money thats all they care about!! So now they are gonna extend it for 2 more months thankfully...but then we have to get it redone YET AGAIN!!! its a totall pain in the ass....

]]> ~antic-cafe SO.... http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/28095723/ http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/28095723/ Sun, 01 Nov 2009 19:56:38 PST

Just wished it could have been better. Halloween is my fav holiday and it was a total bust! Im really dissapointed about it. But nothing I can do now.....*grumble grumble*

I hope ppl had fun with their parties and what not! I expect to see pics!!! ^w^

LOVE LOVE

]]> ~antic-cafe Join Me!!!! >D http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/28034315/ http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/28034315/ Thu, 29 Oct 2009 18:01:49 PDT
[link]

...*sparkly eyes* Pretty Please!?!?

]]> ~antic-cafe This is Halloween, This is Halloween! http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/27946634/ http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/27946634/ Sat, 24 Oct 2009 18:14:56 PDT .>

Some ppl do celebrate it..but only like the uber rich ones....-_- so thats not very many ppl! I wish I could sooo badly go to a halloween party or something! Man im sooo gonna miss Eagle Animes masquerade! (even tho that is in november. yes I still check what events are going on even tho im in China!)

I loooooved last years!! It was sooo much fun!! And I won the cosplay contest! Ill never forget that! ^.^ (its the only time Ive EVER won something!!!) Im glad I was able to go! I met sooo many great ppl and great friends there that I will never forget!

But im HOPING to go to the December shopping event and of course NEW YEARS!!! W00T!!!! *throws confetti* X3 hehe FETUS GRAPES!!!!!!! lmao!

but we still have to see about those. I dont know when Im coming back or if I even am or for how long or if Ill be in florida at that time!! so many IF'S!!!! *dies* GAH!

I know I will be coming back for christmas its just the details arent worked out yet. Everything looks like a REALLY good possibility! Im 90% sure that itll all work out!

And I have part of my Rhyme cosplay for New Years so thats good too!!

OH! Hey! *light bulb goes on* I have an Idea! I could maybe wear part of my Rhyme cosplay for Halloween! (since it has skulls on it! XD) But we'll see about that! I might! Its a toss up between that and teh kitty. so who knows! Plus its not like Im going to any parties...*sadpanda* ...but....

my dad said Hooters was having a Halloween party so we might go to that.....kinda weird. But better than nothin! lol just so strange!

Thats all I have for now! I wish I could dress up more! T_T Other than that its all going well. I have my Japanese lessons today and then SAT class tomorrow (but I havent finished my HW for that tho! ) so yeah!

LOVE LOVE!!!

]]> ~antic-cafe ^w^ Doing well! http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/27931340/ http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/27931340/ Fri, 23 Oct 2009 21:30:50 PDT
I was able to FINISH MY RHYME SHIRT!! It worked out REALLY well! *happy dance* W00T! XD The stain came out pretty good. It just looks like a shadow from my boobs now! Xp lol haha!

But I spent all day yesterday drawing out the design on the shirt and then painting it. It took a while to paint tho, had to keep adding layers because you could see thru the paint and there were spots of pink. The only think that went wrong was that I used some Bristal paper to put inbetween the shirt so the paint wouldnt bleed to the otherside, and well the shirt dried and got stuck to the paper and I had to tear it off! GRRR! *shakes fist* So now there are little bits of paper fragments stuck on the inside of the shirt. But I can get that off easy! So no worries! n_n

Later I will post a pic of the shirt, and then one of me with all my current Rhyme stuff. Its not much, but all I have left to do is get the wig, shoes and put yellow on them, and make the shorts. So thats not bad at all! (and Im hoping to get the wig for Christmas!) hehe! :3

Ive finally gotten around to uploading some of my Elemental Dragoons. I have two more to upload, but Im being lazy and dont feel like writing out a description for them. -_-" so yeah..and then I have 3 new Bunmus too! But those'll come later! *is lazy*

Thats pretty much it. I have to go do some SAT practice stuff...GAH! I hate it soooo MUCH! But it has to be done. So Ill go get coffee and do it there! XD

LOVE LOVE

]]> ~antic-cafe Cosplay Progress Ugh!! http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/27897211/ http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/27897211/ Wed, 21 Oct 2009 21:01:06 PDT
So Ive tried and tried to get the stain out but its not coming out!!! *panics* Its currently soaking right now and then Im gonna wash it. But I think thats all I can do.

Its not REALLY noticable, but its still noticable. I have the pattern laid out and stuff, (i thought it might cover the stain but it doesnt) So once I finish washing it Im gonna pin on my skull and cross bones pattern and trace it and then paint it!

But I did get my fabric paint yesterday! BUT once again it was a hassle like everything in china is!

I look and look and finally find a store that has it. they are chinese brand fabric paints but they were cheaper and in larger bottles. So the thing is that you get a ticket and then bring that to the desk, pay for it , get another slip and bring that back to the ppl and pick up your stuff.

Weelll...apparently they lied to me and DIDNT have the white that I needed! So I had already paid but they didnt have what I paid for. I then tried to get two small bottles of white but they were a different brand and a ONE small bottle cost more than the large bottles and I would have to pay much more!! I was getting sooo frustrated!!! So finally I just said no, and i want my money back! (china usually doesnt do refunds) But they finally did it and I got my money back!!

So I was pissed but looked in other little dinky hole in the wall stores and finally found the EXACT SAME STUFF I WANTED! AND FOR ONLY A WEE BIT MORE! So I quickly grabed those and paid for them!

Even tho it was hectic it was worth it! ^.^ So yeah Im gonna wash my shirt and see how that goes.

But when (and if) I come to the states IM sooo getting a new shirt! One thats bigger too! But for now Ill just use this one I have. China wont have a shirt that will fit me. so yeah...

well thats it! Just my cosplay delemas! *groan* >.< But hopefully itll work out!
Ill keep you guys posted!

LOVE LOVE

]]> ~antic-cafe Today's Scheduale! XD http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/27877907/ http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/27877907/ Tue, 20 Oct 2009 18:41:30 PDT
Im gonna go to get coffee and draw/color some of my dragons and Bunmu's. I have alot already done but dont have a story for them yet. so yeah...still working on that. I had to look up japanese baby names to get names with specific meanings to them. I think Im getting it!

Hopefully they should be up soon. Ive just been a lazy bum and havent uploaded anything! -_-"
so yeah....hehe...

But then Im gonna go get my black and white fabric paint!! W00T! *is excited* Then I have to start working on the design and enlarge the pattern, draw it on the shirt and then paint it! Then It should be done! Might be a couple of days but thats ok! ^.^ I need things to do!

So my dad is gonna be workin like the next 6 days, so I have something to do! I might go shopping once also! Its just soo fun that you can get LOTS O STUFF here that you cant in the US!! I loooooves it! XP hehe!

So not very much going on. Just the same old stuff (mostly) lol but thats about it! Ill post WIP pics of the shirt! and then maybe one with it, the beanie, and pendant! But ill put my hair in a bun so itll look not as long and closer to Rhymes.

Still dont know anything about when Im coming back or for how long. And its KILLING ME!! *dies* I want to know things so I can plan stuff! But theres nothing I can do but wait to see and find out. so yeah....@w@

thats all for now folks!!!!

LOVE LOVE

]]> ~antic-cafe O_o wow.....scary.... :EDIT: http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/27858666/ http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/27858666/ Tue, 20 Oct 2009 00:54:02 PDT
So first off we go to the custums government building which was like 40 min. away. Then we go to see this guy about me staying over my time limit. He was REALLY nice!!! ^.^ I was supposed to be charged for being over due for 15 days but he only charged me with 11. THEN I should have paid 5000RMB BUT he only charged me 500RMB!!! He said since it was my first time in china and that im young that its ok and left it at that!

But we had to pay the money at a bank 3 blocks away! so we went there and had to wait in a que for an HOUR!! We needed to be back to the guy by 12 or his office would close and we would have to wait TWO HOURS before he came back. FINALLY, we got it and my friend ran all the way there and got it in on time! BUT THEN! *deep sigh*

We had to wait in a que to get my new visa. So that take ANOTHER HOUR! BUT THAT JUST THE BEGINING! We get up there and they wont accept my pink resident form that I got when I came here because (its one of those pieces of paper that if you write on something on top of it it gets transfered to that piece of paper) well some how when I was signing a form with the overstay guy, the pink slip got underneath and got RUINED!

So THEN we had to call up my hotel (they have the resident permits on file) and had them fax it to the place. It finally gets there BUT the expiration date is wrong. Its different from my other one. SO we call up the hotel again and ask to change the date, stamp it, and fax it again!

After ALL THAT TROUBLE we finally got it done! But they have my passport. Itll be sent to me next Tuesday. But Im exhaushted now. BUT the cleaning ladies havent come and (from previous experiance) once I lay down for a nap they will come! So Im just wasting time....

But tomorrow for sure Im DEFINATELY getting my fabric paint! then get to work on the shirt! WOOT! XD

lol so yeah that my big day....>.<

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So my dad forgot about renewing my China Visa so I can be over here. Well...it expired and Im now an "Illegal Immigant"!!!! *runs and hides*

This is freaky let me tell you! So today Im going with my dads old translator/good friend and she's taking me to get it renewed. But my dad says they will probably yell at me! *whines* I didnt do anything wrong! My dad forgot about it!!! T_T

Im kinda scared to go. But it HAS to be done! Its not so bad that I will get put in jail but there will be a big fine! *cries* I REALLY wish all this shit would stop happening to me! *deep sigh* -_-

So thats what Im doing today. We have to go early otherwise customs will be PACKED! so I got up at like 7 am! GAH! But now my friends running late so yeah.....>.>

Then tomorrow Ill probably have to go back and get my passport (you have to leave it there with them.) But I wanna try and get my fabric paints today or tomorrow somehow. I have a big itch to get it done! XD I cant wait! The design looks pretty good! So just enlarge it, trace it on, paint and wahla! XP (yeah i know i spelled that wrong) lol

So yeah thats all thats been going on for me lately. I want to go shopping some more too! I know this place where I can get lolita stuff!!! ^w^ soo cute gothic things! So yeah! My moneys just burning a hole in my wallet! >.<; even tho its like my dads money but w/e!! Xb hehe....

Thats all for now! Lets all hope I dont get in HUGE trouble for all of this! *is scared* Ill let you guys know how it went!

LOVE LOVE

]]> ~antic-cafe SOOOoooo...Cosplay Progress+Update http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/27823930/ http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/27823930/ Sat, 17 Oct 2009 20:33:30 PDT
We dont know when we will be in the states. My dad doesnt even know if he'll have his contract renewed(the company hasnt said anything nor has his one in the US) and if they do he doesnt know if theyll let us leave for christmas. OR how long either!

AND I wont be taking the SAT on Dec. 5th. We were going to submit stuff so I could get extra time on it but the due dates passed for the Dec 5th test. So we are working on getting all that ready for the Jan. 23 SAT test. BUT once again!, we might not be able to come back to the states for it. (if they renew my dads contract in china AND let us go for christmas, we only get a month, then have to wait 3 more months to go back again) Or I might just stay in the US until then and go back alone and my dad goes before me.

SO! This is all killing me! I hate the "UNKNOWNS" >O< It makes me soo uneasy.

But last night I got my panda sweater!!! Its SOOOO FREAKING KAWAII!! Its filled with panda awsomeness! X3 Ill post a pic of it when Im dont with this. along with

's art request. ^.^; I should have posted that awhile ago! -_-

But Im working on WHAT I CAN on my Rhyme Bito cosplay. Im gonna go get black and white fabric paint later this week. I have her pink shirt already (tho I dont know if I like it, I want something bigger, its a little too tight. So Ill just make this one and when I go into the states I get another one. They are bound to have something since its winter) So I drew out the skull and cross bones design on her shirt.

I have to make it a tiny bit bigger and then cut it out and trace it on the shirt. The paint it of course! What Im hoping to do is have part of it done so I can wear part of it to the EA New Years event (if we go to the states and can stay a while, it looks like I will be going!!! W00T!!!) *throws confetti* XD

So I would have the shirt, hat, and pendant done. I just want to wear something to it. (lol not that im going naked or anythign XP )

Also, If and When I get back to the US, I will order my Undertaker nails and makeup, Rhymes wig and Presea's wig. So yeah! It looks like this is all a REALLY GOOOOOOD POSSIBILITY!

I just cant wait to come back to the states! I misss you guys sooo much!!!! Itll be fun to see you all again! <3 *huggles*

LOVE LOVE

]]> ~antic-cafe Ok. http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/27773158/ http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/27773158/ Thu, 15 Oct 2009 17:46:11 PDT
I REALLY am! But Im not trying to make ppl feel sorry for me. I just need some one to listen to me!

Yeah my life's not great right now. Im trying my HARDEST to makes things better and chin up! But its hard.

So Im going to stop ranting about alot of this. I will post if Im feeling bad and maybe why, but nothing more.

Im sorry if I annoy ppl. Thats not my intention.

Well thats all I have to say reallly. I might today Im supposed to go get this REALLY cute panda sweater! I went yesterday but they were out of my size, but they are getting a new shippment in today! So Im looking forward to that!!

Ill post pics of it once I get it!

LOVE LOVE!

]]> ~antic-cafe I dont think this life could get much worse... http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/27736556/ http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/27736556/ Mon, 12 Oct 2009 22:59:45 PDT
The first part went fine. I went to get coffee, and from there went to my SAT practice class. Those all went fine!

It was until I got home that my world began crashing in on me...ONCE AGAIN!

I had been home for not even 30 min. when my dad sits me down and says he has some bad news. Im like omfg! WHAT NOW!?!?! He explaines that he was looking online for a service to do his bills since my mom usually does them (and they are divorcing so he has to now) and he also looked at the our bills online. He said there were plane tickets to MN and Duluth and lots of dinner bills. All that my mom had purchased without telling us. There was only one conclusion: SHE WAS DATING SOMEONE!

I litteraly died inside. My dad then calls up my mom, (Im just in on the bed crying my freaking eyes out thinking the world has ended)

They talk to a long time and she finally admits she is seeing some one!!! BUT IN WISCONSIN!!! SHE H-A-T-E-D WISCONSIN!
I felt like she lied to me and stabbed me in the back. I couldnt believe it. The divorce isnt even complete yet!

My mom hasnt been much of a mom to me the past year. My whole life I have looked up to her and regarded her as my idol. She has always helped me no matter what, is always there for me. But now,nothing.

HELL! She frickin shipped me off to fuckin CHINA FOR CHIRST SAKES! I havent seen her in over 6 months. There is not even the slightest possibility of me EVER living with her again! NE-VER! And she doesnt want to even think or talk about me visiting!!!! And thru all this she keeps saying "i love you" but dont feel it. I dont believe it. She has shown me no love. I need proof. She probably does. But atm I feel nothing from her!

But what gets me, is that shes paying money so see some GD bastard in FUCKING WISCONSIN THAT SHE FUCKING HATED! BUT WONT COME VISIT HER OWN FREAKING DAUGHTER!!! Yeah that shows alot that she really cares for me! Bull shit!

Plus, I had asked her MULTIPLE times if she was seeing someone back when we lived in WI, and she denied it all. I could tell something was up. She would get dressed up to go out alone. heh yeah right! So she lied to me! To my face!

She says we have no right to know. BUT as her DAUGHTER I have a right to know that she is at least seeing someone that is not my dad! I dont need to know details and such but I have a right to that just being her daughter!

All last night my dad and I had a horrible time. Everytime I thought about my mom, deep HATERED would come up. Either that or I would feel as if she was dead to me. And It hurts that that would even happen.

Idk what to do. Im lost. The pain inside is killing me slowly. I have no where to turn to. I dont have a home. Im stuck in china. My world has collapsed.

I did call her this morning to clear some things up. I told her that i did not feel loved by her and that its as if shes not my mom. Of course she comes back saying "i will always love you and you are always gonna be my daughter no matter what. I care for you a lot and miss you" but she doesnt show it. So how can I feel it. She did clarify that when I asked her if she was seeing someone that she wasnt at that time. But later on yes. She also clarified another question I had. Awhile back I asked if she was ever going to get married again. She said "NO. Not for a long long time. Its not even a thought" but when I heard she was dating someone it make it seem like a lie again. She confirmed that she is not going to marry any one for a long time and that she doesnt love this guy.

She said she's lonely and needed someone, and this guy paid attention to her and said she was pretty. which my dad didnt do often. It just makes me sick to think she is with someone else besides my dad. So badly that I was throwing up last night.

I have no idea who or what to belive in anymore. My mom will say one thing and then my dad another. I dont know who to trust anymore.

But for a good note (sorta) It looks like a big possibility that me and my dad will be coming to MN for christmas. Ill take my SAT there instead of FL now. So I will most likely be there for the EA event and maybe New Years too! So Im looking forward to seeing all of you! <3

Thats all I have. I was debating on whether to post this but I need to get it off my chest.

]]> ~antic-cafe Beauty comes in LARGE packages too, http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/27660929/ http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/27660929/ Fri, 09 Oct 2009 00:41:38 PDT
I was watching TV and they were advertising Tyra Banks "Top Model" shit. They were saying its different because she's letting girls in who are shorter than 5'7"!!! And that it was sooo generous of her to give shorter girls a chance at modeling and that she's sticking up for underdog and crap! They kept saying "Beauty comes in small sizes too!" Well apparently thats all "beauty" comes in.

WHAT-THE-FUCK!?!?!

oK what does it matter if your SHORTER!?!?!!? Honestly FUCKING HEIGHT does NOT MATTER!!! What she should be doing is letting larger, more robust women in!!! That WOULD MAKE A FUCKING DIFFERENCE!!! People need to open the GD eyes and look around them for once! There are JUST AS MANY LARGE WOMEN AS SMALL!!!

There is no differce in letting "shorter" ppl in if they are still freakin sticks!!! theres no differences!

One the same note, I was looking at some photography on DA and saw a nude photo of a larger woman!! I WAS SOO HAPPY TO SEE THAT!!!

But assholes came on and started to flame and hate the picture. They said " 'Real' women dont look like that!!!" OMFG!! SERIOUSLY! There is nothing to difine a "real" woman! A girls a girl! One continued to say a "real woman has tits and a vagina" PPl came on bashing him! Im glad!

Then other fucking assholes where saying that shes fat and ugly! WELL NEWS TO YOU BOYS, THE PICTURE IS NOT INTENDED TO "TURN YOU ON"!!!! LET ALONE MEANT FOR YOU SPECIFICALLY!! Others said girls dont look like that! REALITY CHECK PPL! LOTS OF WOMEN DO!!!

Plus, ITS ART! THE ARTIST CAN DO WHAT EVER THE HELL HE WANTS!

But there was a good side to it. PPl came on defending her and the artist, saying "its good to see women on DA who have curves, finally some one thats not a stick!, finally showing the true beauty of women, and ppl loved to see her!

In my opinion it was a masterpiece!!

Im sorry for this UBER RANT! BUT i had to let it out! Society is corrupt! Its all about sex,drug, and being skinny. The world needs to OPEN THEIR EYES AND REALIZE ALL THE BEAUTY AROUND THEM!

Even tho "today" in society its supposedly good to be skinny, hundreds of years ago, in the Medeival Period, IT WAS BETTER TO BE LARGE AND BIG!!! That showed you had wealth and men like volumtuous women! But now is all fucked up!

Im not trying to hate on the "skinny" ppl! This is not meant to be a flamer! I just want ppl to realize what they are saying! It hurts! BADLY! And honestly it makes me sick. All the men can think about is sex. (Honestly if i could id circumsise them all! ) no lie!

I wish we ALL could get recognized for our beauty! small,short,tall,large, big, ect ect! Sexism needs to stop! Theres no such thing as a "perfect" woman OR man! Everyones equal!

Ok Im sorry about that its just it was really getting to me. /rant

]]> ~antic-cafe Update! W00t...? http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/27622166/ http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/27622166/ Tue, 06 Oct 2009 19:06:55 PDT
granted there are still alot of crap happening in my family but that will be awhile before its all over. So yeah...just have to be patient.

Yesterday I went and took an SAT assesssment test. It was just to see where I was at. I scored around 1,300 or around there! For not studying AT ALL I think I did pretty well. I skipped most of the math questions because its been over 2 and half years since Ive taken math class!! *headdesk* so Im going back on Mondays now and taking a lesson course to prep me for it!

Im hoping to take the SAT sometime in December! GUESS WHAT THAT MEANS!?!?! Ill be coming back to the US!!!! *goes crazy* XDDDD Its not final or anything yet, like where exactly I would go but it looks promising! n_n hehe!

Im relived things are going well! For awhile there it all seemed hopeless...But now i have good feelings about things!

So thats all thats really going on. I bought a bunch of movies yesterday including District 9, G-Force, some zombie movie, a Miyavi PV DVD <3 <3 , Transformers 2, and a Studio Ghilbi movie (but i got the wrong one, I wanted The Cat Returns, but got something different >.< ) Anyways my dads gone tonight so itll be MOVIE NIGHT!!! W00T!!! Excited about that!

Yesterday I created like FIVE more Elemental Dragoons!! I think Im doing well with that. Also I finished Luca and his best friend....still need a name for him tho. Probably going to be Ryoma. So Ill up load them later! ^w^

I miss everyone hope to see some of you soon!!!

LOVE LOVE

]]> ~antic-cafe Birthday Meme thing! FUN FUN! http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/27589237/ http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/27589237/ Sun, 04 Oct 2009 23:38:52 PDT

Its really interesting! You guys should try it! ^.^

Heres the is the site:

MEME:
24 May 1990
Your date of conception was on or about 31 August 1989 which was a Thursday.

You were born on a Thursday
under the astrological sign Gemini.
Your Life path number is 3.

Your fortune cookie reads:
Trust your intuition. The universe is guiding your life. (the universe must suck at leading the way then....my lifes sucky)

Life Path Compatibility:
You are most compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 3, 6 & 9.
You should get along well with those with the Life Path numbers 1, 2, 5 & 11.
You are least compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 4, 7, 8 & 22.

The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2448035.5.
The golden number for 1990 is 15.
The epact number for 1990 is 3.
The year 1990 was not a leap year.

Your birthday falls into the Chinese year beginning 1/27/1990 and ending 2/14/1991.
You were born in the Chinese year of the Horse.

Your Native American Zodiac sign is Elk; your plant is Mullein.

You were born in the Egyptian month of Mesore, the fourth month of the season of Shomu (Harvest).

Your date of birth on the Hebrew calendar is 29 Iyyar 5750.
Or if you were born after sundown then the date is 1 Sivan 5750.

The Mayan Calendar long count date of your birthday is 12.18.17.1.11 which is
12 baktun 18 katun 17 tun 1 uinal 11 kin

The date of Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 15 April 1990.
The date of Orthodox Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 15 April 1990.
The date of Ash Wednesday (the first day of Lent) on your birth year was Wednesday 28 February 1990.
The date of Whitsun (Pentecost Sunday) in the year of your birth was Sunday 3 June 1990.
The date of Whisuntide in the year of your birth was Sunday 10 June 1990.
The date of Rosh Hashanah in the year of your birth was Thursday, 20 September 1990.
The date of Passover in the year of your birth was Tuesday, 10 April 1990.
The date of Mardi Gras on your birth year was Tuesday 27 February 1990.

As of 10/5/2009 1:22:05 AM EDT
You are 19 years old.
You are 233 months old.
You are 1,011 weeks old.
You are 7,074 days old.
You are 169,777 hours old.
You are 10,186,642 minutes old.
You are 611,198,525 seconds old.

Celebrities who share your birthday:
Billy Gilman (1988) Joe Dumars (1963) Rosanne Cash (1955)
Priscilla Presley (1945) Patti LaBelle (1944) Gary Burghoff (1943)
Bob Dylan (1941) Tommy Chong (1938)

Top songs of 1990
Nothing Compares 2 U by Sinead O'Connor Vision of Love by Mariah Carey
Because I Love You (The Postman Song) by Stevie B Vogue by Madonna
Escapade by Janet Jackson Opposites Attract by Paula Abdul with the Wild Pair
Step By Step by New Kids On the Block How Am I Supposed to Live without You by Michael Bolton
Love Takes Time by Mariah Carey It Must Have Been Love by Roxette

Your age is the equivalent of a dog that is 2.76868884540117 years old. (Life's just a big chewy bone for you!)

Your lucky day is Wednesday.
Your lucky number is 5.
Your ruling planet(s) is Mercury.
Your lucky dates are 5th, 14th, 23rd.
Your opposition sign is Sagittarious.
Your opposition number(s) is 3.

Today is not one of your lucky days!

There are 231 days till your next birthday
on which your cake will have 20 candles.

Those 20 candles produce 20 BTUs,
or 5,040 calories of heat (that's only 5.0400 food Calories!) .
You can boil 2.29 US ounces of water with that many candles.

Your birth flower is LILY

Your birthstone is Emerald

The Mystical properties of Emerald

Though not meant to replace traditional medical treatment, Emerald is used for physical and emotional healing.
Some lists consider these stones to be your birthstone. (Birthstone lists come from Jewelers, Tibet, Ayurvedic Indian medicine, and other sources)

Agate, Chrysoprase

Your birth tree is

Chestnut Tree, the Honesty
Of unusual beauty, does not want to impress, well-developed sense of justice, vivacious, interested, a born diplomat, but irritable and sensitive in company, often due to a lack of self-confidence, acts sometimes superior, feels not understood, loves only once, has difficulties in finding a partner.

There are 81 days till Christmas 2009!
There are 94 days till Orthodox Christmas!

The moon's phase on the day you... ]]> ~antic-cafe OK http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/27550432/ http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/27550432/ Sat, 03 Oct 2009 01:26:20 PDT
Ive been down on myself ALOT lately for multiple reasons. I just want to get started with my life. I dont want to be held back any further. I wanna live the life a normal 19 yr old should be living! Going to college and being independant! But I dont know how im gonna do it with my clothing problem. Im trying REALLY hard to change.

I have soo much going on its not even funny! *dies* Its over whelming! X_x

I am going to sign up for SAT priactice on the 8th. (I know i was shocked they had SAT practice in china, but its for the expats) So HOPFULLY that will get me started in a direction! Then I can start planning out some things. But once again I need to get over alot of crap.....-_-

OH! Ive created 3 more characters to go with DeaMon but he will no longer be DaeMon. Im gonna totally (well sorta) redo him in a way. i still have one more character to create tho. So well see, I might up load the 3 that I did today. AND Im moving DaeMon the Demon to my scraps. So thats just whats been going on!

I miss you guys soo much! *huggles tightly*

LOVE LOVE

It

]]> ~antic-cafe SERIOUSLY!?!?!? http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/27509550/ http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/27509550/ Thu, 01 Oct 2009 17:32:00 PDT
And maybe Im looking into this too deep, but idk. I could just be overreacting.

As far as anything else goes, last nights Miyazaki symphony orchestra waa AMAZING!!! I had a great tiem!!! Me and my dad were the ONLY foreigners there tho!! XD lol it was kinda awkward...but the place was packed!! During the music for each of the movies, they would show clips from the movies. I was really nice! I REALLY enjoyed it! ^.^ Im glad I could go to it!

Other than that....nothing else new. Still kinda just hanging out. Ive been working on some CS4 stuff and might/probably put them up. granted Im not good with the computer and stuff but they look ok...considering I still am not sure what Im doing exactly >.>

:END EDIT:

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well im kinda upset. NO ONE GOT MY KIRIBAN!! and frankly i feel like no one tried. It makes me feel like no one wants any of my art/dont like my art! It kinda pisses me off....I cant even begin to describe how shitty I feel....

other than that nothing new. still same old shit going on.

The only good thing is that tonight im going to a Miyazaki/Studio Ghilbi symphony orchestra! It has music from lots of his movies! Im excited to go see that! I love the music! <3

so yeah thats it....

]]> ~antic-cafe This is it. I have nothing.... http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/27479530/ http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/27479530/ Tue, 29 Sep 2009 02:45:57 PDT
Soon after my dad started a deep hard conversation with me that has changed my life. He said that we might be living in china for quite a while!!! I totally FREAKED OUT! Theres NO WAY I can stay here longer. I W-I-L-L D-I-E H-E-RE!!!! Im already wasting away! Theres nothing for me here! NOTHING! ITS HELL!

He continues to go on saying that if he went back to his old job in the US, he will get paid only half of what he makes now, which is not enough to pay off the huge debt, support me and him, and pay the money to my mom for the divorce. He said we would have basically nothing. And if we do that, we might have to move to Charlotte, NC for his job!! He also said theres a possibility of us being out on the streets if he doesnt have a job!!!

The worst part of it is that I cant go home. I DONT HAVE a HOME!! I have nothing! I cant live with my mom because of past incidences and she doesnt want me there. Im really scared! Im lost! I dont know what to do! I miss her soo much! It hurts! I need my mom! I havent seen her in MONTHS and it might be a VERY LONG time before I see her again if at all and im scared to death about that!

On top of all that, my disorder is getting worse. Im basically bed ridden. Im in such a deep depression and in so much pain i cant do anything. All I can do is make it to get coffee and thats it. I cant wear any new clothes or anything! Im wearing old ones! I cant even put on a new pair of socks! My sensory stuff is thru the roof! I cant do anything! I can barely wear my glasses and they look like hell! They are bent about 2 in. from my face and are lopsided. I look retarded!

And due to all this, Im being held back from life. I have not yet taken SATs/ACTs, because i cant motivate my self to do them. I dont think I can even do college. My parents think so too. They say I need 24/7 assissted living. They dont think I can handle college and frankly, I doubt it too.

I HATE IT because I feel soo damn retarted! I cant do a single thing! All the while my friends are going to college and getting on with their lives! While im stuck and cant move. I feel soo stupid that Im behind everyone!! I FEEL SOO FUCKING RETARDED!!! Im emotionally handicaped! I have no life....

I want to get a job, but once agian im held back. NO ONES GONNA HIRE SOMEONE WHO LOOKS LIKE I DO! I soo badly want a job! Something to give me purpose! Something where I can feel proud of myself! But I cant get past my clothing thing so its impossible to get a job.

I miss my friends and family sooo increadible FUCKING MUCH!! All I wanna do is be with them. When Im around my friends I feel loved and that makes me feel like I can do anything! But I have no one here...im all alone.

Plus! My parents think im childish and immature because Im into anime and obessed with everything! They think its all stupid! They think its childish of me to wear cosplays and stuff! That thats all i do! But I have nothing else to do! Its all I have! Its one of the few things in life that make me remotley happy.

So I wont be getting the wigs and other stuff. My mom says she's too "busy".

I dont know when Im coming back to the US if at all. All my plans that I have are ruined. I cant work on cosplays or plan conventions. I HIGHLY doubt now that I will be able to go to AD!

I feel like my life is over! Just 2 years ago everything was perfect! My family was getting along, we had a nice HOUSE one the water, had a good amount of money to keep us happy but now nothing!!! My dad had promised to get me a new car but now we cant even afford an old beat up one. He doesnt even have a car!

Nothing is going right! Its all just getting worse and worse!

]]> ~antic-cafe Cosplay Progress + Kiriban http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/27455764/ http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/27455764/ Sun, 27 Sep 2009 18:55:50 PDT .<; anyways...

This week in china is the national holiday. Its the ONLY time in the WHOLE YEAR that the ppl get vacation!!! O_O yeah they dont have sick days or vacation time off. This is it!
They take it UBER serioulsy! theres decorations all over! ...im just hoping my coffee place will still be open....XP lol

other than that, nothing much. Im mad because Im behind on my anime!! *shakes fist and curses* GRRRRRRR!!! Its because the VPN that I use to go to the sites that china blocks wont work. Its probably 'cus everyones off and on the computers here since its vaca for them.

But IM MAD!!! I cannt go on FB!!! Y.Y I wanted to upload some pics of EVERYTHING that Ive boughten in China soo far! (and show off my awsome beautiful silk shoes!!) :3 But like i said i cant connect up to it.

Also, as a reminder to you all! ...im less than 30 pg view away from my 12k Kiriban!!! keep a watch out for it and good luck! <3

On other news, Ive been trying to buy a couple of items off ebay, but i cant do it from China. It blocks my dads account and he has to wait till he gets to the US to call ebay and reactivate it! O-o so yeah its kinda a hassle. But i want to order my presea wig and Rhyme Bito wig. The Rhyme wig is styled after Atoli from Hack GU but it looks more like Rhyme than the character it was styled after! XD and im just getting a plain pink wig for Presea and will style it later. Hers is gonna be kinda difficult. But i KNOW i can do it!! ^w^

I also need to get costume makeup and long black fake nails for my Undertaker cosplay. Ive searched everywhere and can only find one of the make up i need. I hope i get it soon!

This all depends on if my mom is willing to order them for me. So who knows what will happen.....-_- i just hope i can get them!

Heres the link to the Presea wig I want: [link]

Heres the link to the Rhyme Bito wig I want: [link]

so yeah thats about it. Just hanging out..being anime deprived and stuff..Y.Y but cant do anything about it!!! *pouts*

I love and miss you guys!! *huggles*

LOVE LOVE

]]> ~antic-cafe Update/Survey/Kiriban :EDIT: http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/27398545/ http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/27398545/ Thu, 24 Sep 2009 22:48:44 PDT
I got the bell for Cheshire Cat!! Although its pretty banged up...im gonna need to spray paint it gold again. And its not as big and has little stars on it but it will work! ^w^ Im just happy I found it!!

As for the coin belt thing that the Undertaker wears i couldnt find the right stuff so I just got something that looks like it. I might find EXACTLY what im looking for in the states tho! But I just wanted to get it just in case!

AND!!! I am sooo proud of myself! I bought a pair of handmade silk shoes that are pink and has flowers on them for my Taiwan cosplay! They were originally 468rmb (that would be $68.54 in USD!!) BUT I bargained sooo friggin much! I got them for 200rmb!!!!! (thats $29.29 USD!!!!) im sooo happy about that! I didnt even want to spend that much but they are soooooo nice! ^w^ I looove them! And they came in my size which is a surprise!! I had looked at other shops but they were all too cheap and too small for my big feet >.<; so yeah!!!I also bought two fans for my Taiwan cosplay as props! I dont need two i just liked both of them and couldnt decide so i got both and we'll see which one works best! Ones better quality than the other and i like it more...i think..but they are both pink with flowers! :3

THEN!!!!!! I went to the anime store near there and bought a Pandora Hearts keychain (its of B-Rabbits scythe!! <3 ) and then a Kuroshitsuji necklace (it has the Phantomhive emblem on it!! <3 <3 ) sooo i made out REALLY well today!! AND THEY ARE NOT BOOTLEGS!!!!!! YESSSSSSSSSSS!!!! *happy dance*

Ok thats it for the edit

:END EDIT:
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hi all! Everythings been going pretty well for me lately! Im SUPER relived about that! *deep sigh of relife* AHHH.....n_n

So like in and hour and a half im going to go to an art type market craft thingy! XP There Im hoping to get my bell for the Cheshire Cat cosplay and some gold coin stings for the Undertaker. Then right across from that is a little shopping place where EVERY THING is 2rmb!! Thats like $.29!!!! so there I am going to look for sandals for Taiwan (dont know if ill find any that fit me...i have HUGE feet expecially compared to the chinese!!! >.< and look for a fan for her! Then ill head over to an anime store and get some kuroshitsuji stuff that I KNOW is NOT bootleg! So im excited for that! :3 hehe!

OK as my last Journal stated, My 12K kiriban is coming up fast!!! *da dum dum* Im less than 70 pg views away from it! so keep on the look out! ^.^ good luck to all of you!

Ok heres a survey stollen from

:

THINGS ABOUT ME ...

(001) Your gender: female

(002) Straight/gay/bi?: Straight

(003) Single?: sadly yes....

(004) Want to be?: NOOO! TT^TT I want some one to love mee!

(005) Age?: 19

(006) Age you wish you were: I guess im Ok with being 19 i just dont like some of the responsibilities....-_-

(009) The color of your eyes: dark brown, or as my grandpa says "chocolate pudding eyes" lol dont ask....

(010) Piercings: NONE!!

(012) Tattoos: NONE! I kinda want one but then later on in life it would be a pain if I didnt want it anymore...its kinda gross when old ppl have tatoos and they are all saggy...>.>

DO YOU...

(013) Smoke: Nope! And NEVER WILL!! Its gross!

(015) Read the newspaper: Not really..just the same old stories...it bores me

(017) Talk to strangers who IM you: I use to, but not so much anymore. PPl dont really IM me...

(018) Take walks in the rain: Its nice at time but others not so much

(019) Drive: YUP! Got it the day before I graduated! W00T! ^.^

(020) Like to drive fast?: OMG NO!! Ill do the speed limit and that is it! I dont like breaking the law!!!!! *glare*

(021) Hurt yourself: umm..ashamed to say...yes somtimes...but thats all im gonna say.

HAVE YOU EVER...

(022) Been out of the country: Yes MANY times! Ive been all over the Caribbean, and to India, and China! <3

(023) Been in love: Yes. and i still am with the same person, even tho we havent talked in years.....

(024) Done drugs: not illegal. Just my prescription meds that i need.

(025) Gone skinny dipping: lol ummm....*blush* yes but it was a dare and was with my cousin who was a girl...we jumped in and then out. Thats all! *hol... ]]> ~antic-cafe 12,000 Kiriban WUT? http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/27350895/ http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/27350895/ Tue, 22 Sep 2009 04:06:43 PDT
Yes I realize Im less than 100 pg views to 12,000. And this is of short notice,.....but....

I kinda want something to draw! A challenge! XD

Ok so who ever gets it (its the usual way send me a link to the screen shot) or closest, will get a picture of their choice! IT CAN BE ANY THING!!!!!! REALLY! I dont mind! Request what ever you like and I will draw it! Here are some options of how I will do it:

1. sketched only and shaded with graphite
2. sketched outlined in pen, and colored with prisma colored pencils
3. outlined in pen and shaded with pen ie. cross hatching ect...
4. Or anything you request. I just cant use paints right now....sorry!
5. It can be anime/manga related, still life, portait, landscape, animals (im pretty good at drawing animals, expecially kitty cats), ect ect...

So yeah thats about it! Good luck to everyone!

LOVE LOVE

]]> ~antic-cafe Hanging in there http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/27349606/ http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/27349606/ Tue, 22 Sep 2009 00:01:42 PDT
Ive been meaning to go out and get some cosplay materials that will be UBER cheap, so i dont have to spend alot in the U.S. for them. Plus it would just be easier and I'd already have a start on things.

So my dad's and I's relation ship is really rocky. A couple of days ago he realized that it was HIM that gives me stress ect ect. He said he'd lay off and not bother me any more. Well the next day he starts bombarding me with more difficult questions that I just cant handle right now! I dont know what to do with him! I try to explain my self but he just doesnt listen! Its totally pointless! *headdesk*

I just want to go home! Im lonely and homesick! TT^TT But Im worried about the future and crap. But I dont want to think about it right now.

So Im stuggling to get by but I know I'll be alright! It'll just take some time! BABY STEPS! X3 lol

Its been good tho, ive been occupied with art. Its made things easier and given me a purpose. Something to do! I did

's art trade and am now almost finished with

's art trade! It should be up sometime today! ^.^

So yeah that just an update on things. I was getting sick of that last emo jounal. (not that this one is all sunshine and rainbows >.< ) But yeah!

I miss all you guys terribly! I cant wait to get home and see all of you!

LOVE LOVE

]]> ~antic-cafe GAH! I dont know how much more of this I can take! http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/27253842/ http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/27253842/ Wed, 16 Sep 2009 21:30:13 PDT
But my dad is trying to get things together for when we come back. He keeps switching his mind and bringing up new ideas as what we should do.

Today he asked what I thought about staying in China for EIGHT MORE FREAKING MONTHS!! *jumps off cliff* O_O

I was like hell no! I cant do it! I can barely take the three more months as it is!! Staying longer is not an option for me!

So we got into a disscussion about what I wanted to do and what my plans were. I told him I would like to go back around the begining of December and stay in MN for alittle while and see my firends. While there start looking at places for me to live in Florida and practice SATs ACTs. Then move down to florida get an appartment and find a job and apply for college.

He just had a whole bunch of "what ifs" and seemed to be very pessimisstic about it all. Hes like " how are you going to get from MN to FL? Where will you stay in MN for a month? How will you get around? And once I get back I'll be at work so I cant help you! Then say you do do that where will you get the money. And who will help you look for an appartment? Do you really thing you can get a job with all your clothing disabilities? How are you going to find a job?"

X.X I was sooo over whelmed! I didnt know what to do! He asked what my idea's where and I told him! Im new at all this stuff! Ive never done it before! He said they are "unrealistic" but to me they seem doable! Idk! Im going insane!

I dont know what he want from me! I told him when i get to florida Ill look for abppartmens and take my sats and apply for a job and college! I want to start doing things on my OWN!! I want to have a purpose in life! Something I will learn from and get something out of! I want to be like everyone else my age!

Im just soo confused and frustrated! It seems like nothings working out! I have no idea what we are going to do!

As of now...it seems to me like ill just begoing to Florida first and once everything is set up for me there and I have money Ill be able to go to MN.

It makes me sad tho cus i had told everyone that I was probably going to be there for a little while! I and i done want to let them down! I want to see everyone soo much! BESIDES I HAVE PRESENTS FOR PPL!!!

*sigh* I try and please my dad but it seems he is never happy. I just wish I could do something right at some point in time!

Im soo lost. I thought my dad would be happy to hear that i want a job and go to college and study and take SATs/ACTs but i dont know anymore. Im doing the best I can do!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

OK heres what I have so far!:

Key:

Pink=in progress/almost done,

Red= soon to come,

white= priority,

Blue=want to do,

Black=maybe/dont know,

Yellow=finished

FINISHED:

Mokona Modoki

Hiei Fan Girl

FUTURE:

Presea Combatir- Tales of Symphonia (25% done)

Rhyme Bito- The World Ends With You (33% done)
:bulltepink:

http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/27237129/ Tue, 15 Sep 2009 22:15:58 PDT
I love all you soo increadbily much! I dont know what I would do with out you!! Youve helped me soo much! I know I am loved and that makes things easier!

Im still struggling alot with a bunch of crap in my life (some i dont even know about -_-)
But am slowly getting thru it all. I have a little bit of new found confidence! Im doing the best that I can to make it day to day!

It would really help tho if I had things to do! *falls over* It gets ssssssssoooooo BORING!!! GAH!! x_X If only i had more cosplay stuff to do!

OH and no one requested a sketch from me. (well

did but no one else) If any one wants a free sketch let me know! im more that happy to do it! BUT there's only 9 slots open now! so hurry if you want one!! I need things to do to pass my time here in china!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

OK heres what I have so far!:

Key:

Pink=in progress/almost done,

Red= soon to come,

white= priority,

Blue=want to do,

Black=maybe/dont know,

Yellow=finished

FINISHED:

Mokona Modoki

Hiei Fan Girl

FUTURE:

Presea Combatir- Tales of Symphonia (25% done)

Rhyme Bito- The World Ends With You (33% done)

Taiwan- Axis Powers Hetalia (1% done)

Ryo-Oki- Tenchi Muyo (0% done)

Dororo- Keroro Gunsou (0% done)

Kiki- Kiki's Delivery Service (0% done)

Undertaker- Kuroshitsuji (0% done)

Grell Sutcliffe (non reaper form) - Kuroshitsuji (0% done)

Finnian-Kuroshitsu... ]]> ~antic-cafe Im sick of this lie called a life... http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/27182259/ http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/27182259/ Sun, 13 Sep 2009 02:15:14 PDT
I HATE MY GD LIFE!

Its all one big joke. The pain never goes away. If anything, its getting worse. I wish I wasnt the person I am. I wish I could just be normal. I hate that I've been cursed with this disorder! It makes life nothing but hell!

I dont know why, (ive tried soooo hard to figure it out), but its hard for me to make friends. I know its part of my disorder but i wish I knew how to fix it. I try soooo increadibly FREAKING HARD! And I either just get rejected, or somehow manage to pick up the wrong "friends". They end up using me and stabbing me in the back. This has been going on since I can remember! since Montesory school! It never changes....BUT

DONT GET ME WRONG ON THIS! THIS DOES NOT INCLUDE ANYONE ON DEVIANT ART OR OTHER PPL IN REAL LIFE! (the story is soon to come) I DO get some REALLY good friends! And I love and care for them very much! I'd do anything for them! I appreciate everything they do!

But even when I do make great friends, i either move or something else happends and it tears me apart.

I know ive been keeping in contact with most of you and i WILL CONTINUE TO! I HOPE you will to.

Ok. The reason for all this emotion had been here for a long time. Theres lots of underlying stuff but theres no need to go into that....

You know how I said I made some "friends"? Well it turns out I didnt really. They were nice when we talked online...but once we met,meaning once they saw me (because ppl reject me because of how i look. I cant wear a bra and my glasses are lopsided on my face because i dont like them touching me and I wear a bag for a dress and am over weight) They didnt really ever want to do anything after that.

The girl doesnt txt me at all. Ive been stuck inside my appartment because im ashamed and embarrassed to go out side because everyone looks,points, and laughs at me when I go out side. I keep pretending that their not there.

well anyways, i txt her today and ask if she wants to do something. her response was "I guess...but not now im busy" so I was like ok what ever.

What really got me was with Dominic today. Ever since he saw and met me he never txts me. I txt and he responds but it wasnt like before we met. Before he was nice and started conversations and was talkative. now...nothing...

so my i asked him if he wanted to do something. He said he was just waking up and then going to the arcades. Well, he didnt invite me to go. But thats ok. whatever. Then I asked if he wanted to make plans for next weekend. He said "my parents are coming next weekend and i have to show them around"......i was slowly getting the hint.....so I asked one last question...I asked if we could do something just "WHEN EVER HE HAD A CHANCE" his response was "maybe. But i might be working on weekends now after this weekend..."

I GOT IT! He obviously doenst want to do anything! Im just some freak! And the worst part of it I guess was that i had kinda started to like him....

The thing with that is, IVE NEVER HAD A BOYFRIEND! AND HONESTLY DONT THINK I EVER WILL! No ones ever liked me! There may have been one but i was being a wuse and didnt do anything about it because he was my best guy friend at the time and I was afraid if i told him how i felt and he rejected me, our friendship wouldnt be the same. well...we dont even talk anymore anyways! So i blew it!

ok enough of that story! I just want someone to love me! Someone to hold me, kiss me and tell me they love me. But somehow, i know in my heart thats never going to happen...who could love someone like me?

Im scared that im just going to die alone. I just want someone! And Im not saying im easy or anything! BELIEVE ME IM NOT! in my entire life theres only been 3 boys that i truly liked! ....they all happen to be my best guy friends at the time too....there have been some other "intrests" but i know its not gonna happen and give up.

Im sorry if this annoys any of you. Im not trying to start a "pity party". I have kept my self from making a journal like this. I dont really like ppl to know about all this cus then they might leave me as a friend or something cus im annoying and too emotional and weak ect ect....

I just couldnt keep it in any longer. After today, i had to let it out. And to be honest, i feel better. Ive stopped crying. I feel ok for the moment and thats all that matters to me right now..

so as i said before, Im sorry if this annoys you! I really am! And none of this has to do with any of you out there! The friendships i have now (besides the two duds here in china that are nothing) mean sooo much to me and I miss you guys terribly! They are REAL! I know when I am liked and loved.

I thank you all. You are... ]]> ~antic-cafe Want one? http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/27161826/ http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/27161826/ Sat, 12 Sep 2009 01:03:24 PDT

The first 10 people who comment on this journal will get a sketch, free. However, in return, you must offer 10 free sketches in your own journal. If you've already done 10 Free Sketches, simply link the journal entry in your comment... You still qualify.

01 - I will NOT draw your request until I see this in your journal.
02 - In your comment, include a link to a reference picture of the character you want me to draw. Or write me a description.
03 - Only one character per person- Remember, this is FREE.
Have fun with this, it's a great way to pass your talents to your fans.

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

~~~

Ok thats it! I hope you all enjoy! I need something to do here in china! XD But I'll probably do only small graphite sketches tho! ...and Ill do my best to draw whatever you want! ^.^ It can be anything really!

]]> ~antic-cafe Lifes Like A Box of Chocholates..... http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/27021604/ http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/27021604/ Thu, 10 Sep 2009 19:07:48 PDT
Then Ive been really bored lately. Well...not so much its just that there arent very many things to do. And Im sad to say this but my dad is really irritating me! Its hard to live with your dad! On top of that, Im starting to look into colleges and thats a pain in the ass! *dies* sooo boring! and time consuming! GAH! *falls over*

So yeah theres alot of difficulties with the college thing. My parents dont think I can do it alone. I somewhat agree. But I dont need to go to a "disability" school! I want to major in fine arts! Im currently looking at USF (university of south florida) and UCF (university of central florida) but they are kinda hard to get into..somewhat...

But all the stuff i need to do to apply for them I have to wait to do back in the states! like i still have to take my SATs and stuff! >.> so theres alot of stress there!

BUT ON GOOD NEWS!...(i think its good news XP ) Im going to go pick up my contacts today! Im REALLY nervous about it tho! Im afraid they will bother me. Ill just have to get use to them. But it will make my life sooooo much easier! *deep sigh of relief* and it would make my cosplays work better too! That way I wouldnt have to continually take them off for a photo!

But I have and astigmatism so contacts are gonna be hard. Sometimes they will move around and Ill have to blink a couple times to fix it. But Im worried Ill feel the contacts. Ive been told many times I wont feel them but knowing me and my SUPER sensitivity idk...so im just gonna give it a try! my glasses arent working for me now so yeah! But i think im most scared to put and take them out of my eyes! Thats kinda creepy to me!!! XD

other than that most of its been good. Im sick and tired of my parents telling me im not an "adult" EVEN THO IM FREAKIN 19!!!!!!!! GOD! It pisses me off so much! im legaly an adult! but they say I can take care of my self/provide for my self and because i dont act mature! WTF!! I can soo act mature! Ive changed alot since being here! I would have never have had the curage to get my own taxi and ride alone and meet ppl off the internet! But Im doing fine!

Just cus i dont act/like the things they want me to doesnt me im NOT mature! GRRRRRR!!! *grumble grumble*

ok thats enough of my semi-ranting. so yeah thats whats all been going for me! OH! yesterday I had accupuncture again and had 30 needles in my back and 7 on my legs!!!! it was kinda cool! :3

so thats all for now folks!

LOVE LOVE

P.S. Im leaving the cosplay list up for everyone to know how im doing/what im doing! Im still constantly changing my mind! ^.^
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OK heres what I have so far!:

Key:

Pink=in progress/almost done,

Red= soon to come,

white= priority,

Blue=want to do,

Black=maybe/dont know,

Yellow=finished

FINISHED:

Mokona Modoki

Hiei Fan Girl

FUTURE:

~antic-cafe UPDATE of l-i-f-e....and cosplay list XD http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/26965086/ http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/26965086/ Tue, 01 Sep 2009 19:08:17 PDT
So I went back to the craft place on Monday and bought some more stuff. (actually just the same stuff different sizes >.< ) I think Im going to make two different versions of Taiwans flower hair piece. Im just missing one vital piece...the HAIR CLIP!!! *falls over* -_-;

so Ill just get those set up. Im haveing a problem now because I have NO FREAKIN IDEA how im suppossed to get all this stuff home! Especially with out breaking! so Im trying to work things out....we'll see how that goes.

I went back to Comic City yesterday and bought a BUNCH OF STUFF!! for like $20 USD i got a Hetalia art book ( got it to see if there were pics of Taiwan...they had everyone BUT her! so upset!! still awsome tho! ) then I bought a six piece set of mini figurines of Kurositsuji, a Sebastion necklace (but i realize now its bootleg so im going to get a real one so if anyones interested in buying it from me let me know it will be uber cheap), I also bought a Cafe Kichijiyoji bag!!! Sooo kawaiii!! Hehe! :3 ,

Then I bought

's present! She'll be happy its a Kaito Kid flashing keychain!! the only kaito kid thing I could find! <3

I still am having a hard time figureing out what Im going to get for some of the rest of you! I dont really know what to get theres soo much stuff. So if Nou, Tori, Brittany, Heather, and Jonsey have an idea what they want I can try and get it (it has to be cheap tho)

Plus like I said I have no idea how im going to bring all this stuff home! It cost about $150 to ship something to the US!!! X_x *dies* so yeah...small things! XD

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OK Since most people are doing this I decided to do it:

COSPLAY LIST:

Finished:
Mokona Modoki

Future cosplays:
Presea Combatir-Tales of Symphonia (20% done)
Rhyme Bito- The World Ends With You (31% dont)
Taiwan- Axix Powers Hetalia (0% done)
Ryo-oki- Tenchi Muyo (0% done)
Dororo- Keroro Gunso (0% done)

Thats all I have atm. I have my hands pretty full. Trying to decide if I should make some stuff here but it would be hard getting it back to the US without breaking like Presea's necklace jewel. so yeah I think Im gonna work on Taiwans flower today. Its flat so i need to make it stick up more. XD

LOVE LOVE

]]> ~antic-cafe OMG!!! *squeee* http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/26904040/ http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/26904040/ Sat, 29 Aug 2009 20:58:00 PDT
We met up at a metro train station. From there we went over to Comic City and looked around alot. He was fast at looking at things where I like to take my time but that was ok! I got a Hatsune Miku bag and

's gift. (I didnt have time to look for everyone else's but ill get them! dont worry! ^.^ ) So we walked around and just chatted about EVERYTHING for a while and then he asked if I was hungry and so we went over to a western type restaurant called Element fresh and ate there. We talked about eveything once again! He's soo cool!

So then we just wondered around talking for awhile and then it was time to go home so he flagged down a cab for me and said good bye. I like him alot! .....and hes cute too!! >w< hehe....

But today Im meeting up with him and another girl Van to go and get coffee or something. So Im excited about that! I cant wait! Im having a great time!!! *giggles*

Its not so bad being here once you have friends to hangout with and talk to! Especially ones that share the same interests as you! so yeah everythings going great!

BUT I STILL MISS YOU GUYS ALOT!!

Love love

]]> ~antic-cafe Wish me luck! http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/26881737/ http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/26881737/ Fri, 28 Aug 2009 18:29:28 PDT
So yeah I have been getting ready and stuff. We are just going to meet up and walk around and hes gonna take me to a japanese curry place! YUM! so yeah just thought Id tell you all! XD

Im happy Im making new friends! Im just worried about when I have to leave them its always hard. Ive left many already. But I always keep in touch with them! and NEVER forget them!

]]> ~antic-cafe Doing MUCH better and making friends...EDIT!!! http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/26824259/ http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/26824259/ Wed, 26 Aug 2009 01:19:34 PDT
OK! so i found some HUGE depo store that has just about every thing (ok they are missing some vital things) that a cosplayer needs! they had beads fabric, belt buckles, string, chains, fabric galore, ornaments, ect ect!

So I have some stuff to make Taiwans flower that she wears its just I dont know what is more accurate. there are 3 ways Ive seen ppl have her. 1. she has one flower with yellow tassels
2. she has two plain flowers on each side of her head 3. she has a cluster of plain flowers on the right side of her head.

I got stuff to do the one with the yellow tassel. I have the flower (dont know if im happy with it or not...i think it needs to be bigger so i might get a new one) and i have the tassel. All i need is a hair barrette which they did not have at the mega store TO MY SURPIRSE! they had everything BUT that! I was semi-annoyed >.>

I would like to know other peoples preferance or what they think is more accurate. It would be much appreciated!!! So please let me know! Thanks!

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Ok so Ive been doing better. Ive been really emotionaly lately and easily up set and stuff. It all started actually when I started the acupuncture! The doctor said my hormone levels will be outta whack for a while due to it. He even wanted a blood sample to check the hormone levels. So I think thats whats wrong with me. Its the acupuncture.

But its kinda like cleaning out a closet. You have to get everything torn up and messy before you can make it all nice and clean! XD lol (yeah i dont know if that was a good similie or not! e_e ) AAANYYYYWAAAYYYS!!!!!......:3

There's a website that I use here that's for expats (ppl not native to china or shanghai) and Ive started a few threads and such. Well Ive been contacted by a couple ppl wanting to make friends with me! I was sooooo happy! *happy dance* ^w^

They are both my age. Onces a girl from Ukraine but Vietnamese origin named Van and another is a guy named Dominic from Singapore! Im trying to get to gether with them at some point!
But I text Dominic constantly! Hes awsome! We talk about anime and cosplay all the time! He so cool! I think all i did yesterday was text him!

So Im happy that Im making friends! ^.^ It makes me feel better and not as lonely....even tho I have yet to meet them! -_-

The only problem is that they havent seen me or how I look/dress. Im worried once we meet that they will not want to be around me. I know thats silly and stuff buy its still a fear of mine. And I know that if they dont except me then they are not worth having as friends.

but yeah thats about it! Im doing much better! AND i might have found a craft place! I think im going to go check it out today!

I LOVE AND MISS YOU GUYS!!

]]> ~antic-cafe OK PEOPLE! PLEASE ANSEWER THE QUESTION http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/26661571/ http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/26661571/ Wed, 19 Aug 2009 01:25:41 PDT I would really like some feed back here! I would really appreciate it! So if its not to much to ask please tell me what you think! Thanks you!

Ive been feeling pretty down lately. I have no one here. Im all alone. I miss my friends very much and it hurts to be away from ppl I love and care for. Im running out of things to do! I just sit in my appartment in all my misery! (which isnt helpful btw) I look forward to hearing from my friends and reading comments left by them but I dont get very many.

Im not blaming anyone for how I feel or anything. I just wish some of my friends would talk to me more. And I understand about the time difference but Im willing to stay up all night to talk to you! But when I ask ppl to get skype or something they just say they dont have it. I wish ppl would try and put some effort into keeping contact with me.

Im sorry if Im ranting/being emo! I dont have journals like this often! Im just hurting really bad inside. And I dont know how to deal with it. Im doing the best I can do! And this all doesnt have to do with ppl not responding to journals or anything. It has to to with my own shit. I am just so increadibly lonely.

Ive tried to do stuff here in Shanghai, but all there is to go out and do is shop and eat! and (to my surpise) Im getting kinda sick of it. I wish there was more for me to do! REALLY liked it when I was working on my props and art. It gave me more things to do. Thats one reason why I would like some to answer my question about comissions.

I would work more on my cosplays, but I cant. I have no sewing machine, and if I bought one itd be pointless because i leave in 3 months and wont be able to bring it back. And like I said below, the supplies are limited....well they might not be but i dont know where the hell i would find them! >.> so yeah.....

And I know im am ranting/being emo in this journal, but please if you respond do it only if you have advice or something nice to say. I dont think I could take something hard. (this has to do with the way ppl in china treat me. they treat me like dog shit! They stare and laugh and point at me all the time! And it hurts alot! I try to over looking but its hard to when it happens when ever you step outside. Last night i didnt want to go outside for that reason and went to the hotels restaurant. but the same thing happend!

They of course sat me right in front of everyone and the door. It was a table for two you know the ones where one sides a bench and the other a chair. Well I was trying to get to the bench but the lady was in the way. so I had to go around on the other side, but I couldnt fit. Because im a bigger sized person. so i moved the table out so I could sit down. The stupid lady then just BURST OUT LAUGHING AT ME!! ovioulsly do to how fat I was. (and no im not over reacting it was the truth) They girls working then proceeded to stand together and watch me as i ate and they would whisper and giggle as i did so. Even the manager would come by and smirk at me! The watched my like i was some kinda circus monkey! I couldnt enjoy my dinner at all! I was so paranoid and hurt by it!

So yeah alot has been going on. I just....oh i dont know! I wish I had friends with me right now! Or even my cat! I miss her soooo much!

Thats all I have to say. Im done now.

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Ok. Well, after making some of my Rhyme cosplay props, I was wondering if I should start doing comissions for props! I (not to be cocky or anything) think I do pretty well with them and they turn out really well.
D
I wanna know what you guys think? Do you think I should start commissions? Is my work good enough? ect. ect.

The only thing is, I wouldnt be able to start comissions for awhile. It wouldnt be possible to do it in China. I would have no way to get them to the person and theres a big change of it breaking in the process. I would start right away once I came back to the US. But I might be able to do some small things, like pins and jewelry. But my supplies are VERY VERY limited over here. They have no craft stores. So itll be hard to get materials needed.

But anyways, PLEASE let me know! I would like to try and get something started about it if possible! Thanks!

LOVE LOVE!

]]> ~antic-cafe I am now officially a pin cushion!!!! http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/26535936/ http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/26535936/ Tue, 11 Aug 2009 20:28:48 PDT
We decided to do it because a lot of treatment that we have tried to ease my depression and huge anxiety havent worked. So my dad wanted to try some TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine) since we're in china! XD

So yeah we are going to start that now. It'll only be when my dad's off of work. -_- wont be a regular rutine *rolls eyes*

AAAANYWAYS!!.....I have found a professional Japanese tutor to teach me Japanese! Im meeting up with her today at 1:30 pm to see if we can do it at the library here. Then we are gonna go shop for text books! e.e Im not sure i like the sound of "text book" but oh well! XD lol heheh!

Ive gotten pretty far on my Rhyme pendant and pin (for her hat) Im REALLY excited about that! I have WIP pics that ill try to put up!

Im mad tho 'cus I FINALLY found an art store (it was only painting things tho) and I bought what looked like black acrylic paint. IT FREAKIN TURNED OUT TO BE BLUE! The color on the tube is black!!! and it doesnt say what the color is!!! Im soo pissed! And the store was quite a ways away! Ill have to find a closer place! GRRRRRRR!! *grits teeth*

Thats all for now folks! XD

Love Love

]]> ~antic-cafe D-Bags on DA http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/26475725/ http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/26475725/ Sun, 09 Aug 2009 01:22:53 PDT
Im soo friggin pissed right now!! Hes some 14yr SOB from the Netherlands! More like the NETHERWORLD!! HES FROM HELL!!! GRRRRRRRRRR!! *stabs to death*

Please block thsi douchebag!!!

PLEASE!! and if you write him a not with some "colorful language" that wouldnt hurt either! XD

]]> ~antic-cafe So whats new? http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/26408899/ http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/26408899/ Wed, 05 Aug 2009 18:32:18 PDT
My dad and I dont really get alone. Its hard being around him! GRRRR!!! He frustrates me soo much! He just pushes and pushes me! All he does is criticize what i do and like!!! Hes never happy no matter how hard I try or what I do!!!!!

I really wish I could make some friends here! I have a couple ppl I do things with but I know them thru my dad and his work...and theyre like 28+ yrs. old! but they dont act or look like it!! XD lol hehehe.

I got my hair cut the other day! I got all of the bleach color cut off! so now its pretty short....(not really tho!) but my head feels soo much lighter!! *twirlls* WWWWWHEEEEEEEE!!!!

Ive been out shopping for the past couple of days. found a really good hole-in-the-wall store but its quite a walk! so yeah.. Its SUPER HOT!!! here!! it kills me!!!! at least I have my coffee to fall back on! n_n;

Ive boughten a lot of cool things. I bought a couple compact mirrors. (super kawaii!!!) and a brush too. then I went to Comic City (its an anime super store with 30+ mini stores in it!! ) I got a APH Pillow!!!! sooo coool!!! Ill take pics of it and post them!!! Ill just make a new folder for the things I bought in china! XD

I also got a leek cell phone strap!! (from Hatsune Miku) Its sooo cuuuuuuuuuutttteeeee!!! Unfortunately all the phones i end up getting dont have a cell phone strap holder!! GRRRR!! *headdesk* But i think i can buy an attachable one on ebay. There are sooo many things i wanna get!! o_o its overwhelming!!!

ok im done talking about shopping. Sorry thats pretty much the only thing ive been doing. My dads gone on an over night trip and has another one tomorrow. so yeah...kinda stuck here...

Im going to work on some of my Rhyme cosplay stuff. Like her hat and pin, along with her bell necklace. thats about the only cosplay stuff i can do here (its all i brought) and i have only found one fabric store and its not a good one. Cant find any craft stores either...hmmm..good thing i brought everything with me!!...except the black string....>.<

so yeah enough of my ranting! I dont think you guys wanna hear about all my stuff...kinda boring. Im going to try and upload pics. Ill see what I can do. the pics dont come out that great because its soo humid you can see the humidity thru them so yeah.

well I REALLY REALLY REALLY miss you guys!! I wish I was going to Iowa with you all! It sounds sooo fun!!!!

OH! Almost forgot! I might be taking Japanese lessons from a friends friend here. Her name is Coco! XD In exchange for some english lessons...idk how well i do with teaching her but well seee!!!

LOVE YOU GUYS!!! MISS YOU LOTS!! *superduperhugoflove*

LOVE LOVE!!!!

]]> ~antic-cafe HEY HEY HEY HEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYY!!!!! GUESS WHAT!?!?! http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/26137196/ http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/26137196/ Thu, 23 Jul 2009 19:18:45 PDT
Its soooooooooo amazing! I dont have internet on it yet, that starts aug. 1st. And it only works in china, but I can get a new carrier once i go back to the states. the only thing is, I use sprint and they dont allow iphones. so ill have to get at&t or somethin.

I got it used. My dads pilot friend was going to get the newest one and this is only a year old!! so we got it for like $300!!! Its soooo uber nice!!! >w< I wuv it!!!!

so yeah my dads been gone all freakin week and ive just been alone in the apt. It gets pretty boring. I just hope its not like this all the time...which it probably will be...but nothin i can do 'bout it!

OMG!! I might go see (and when i see might its like a 95% chance) a Hayao Miyazaki symphony!! It has all the music from his movies like My Neighbor Totoro, Kiki's Delivery Service, Howl's Moving Castle, Spirited Away, Princess Mononoke, Castle in the Sky. ect, ect,!!! That would be AAMMAAAZZZIINNGGG!!!

Thats on oct. 1st. then on oct. 2 I really wanna go see DBSK!!! (Dong Bang Shin Ki for those of you who dont know its a korean hip hop group) I REALLY REALLY wanna see them!!! But the only thing is, is that they are right after eachother and I dont know if I can go to both!!! I wanna go to both! I CANT CHOOSE!! D< GRRR!!!

so we'll see how it goes! My dad might be working those days too..but I might just go myself!!! XD (i know my way around town pretty well now!) (but thats only a small part..shanghai's sooo big!! 22 billion ppl!! or was it million..idk...)

so yeah thats whats been going on with me!!! I gave up on the watchmen crap. too much for me!

Hope all of you are doing great!!! I MISS YOU!!!

LOVE LOVE

]]> ~antic-cafe WATCHMEN questions http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/26078732/ http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/26078732/ Tue, 21 Jul 2009 02:10:58 PDT
why did mr. manhattan leave and where did he go? And did he love jupiter or not!?!? If so why didnt he stay with her? (I personally dont like her with dan) and then why did he kill rorsach? (sp i know) was it because he was going to tell what adrian was doing? and why didnt mr.manhattan kill adrian?

In the end, mr. manhattan comes to realize the importance of humanity, yet he just kinda leaves it to be destroyed. (and he realized this thru lori so why did he leave her again? I mean she still loves him! they kissed at the last scene! and then with her and dan they say the hope he is looking down upon them) Im soo confused!!!!!!

Im sooo lost and mad i cant even begin to describe it!!! I HATED the ending!! and what happens to adrian?!?!!? they just leave them standing there? and did he end up destroying the other cities since he already destroyed new york?

I NEED HELP HERE PPL!! ITS DRIVING ME INSANE!!!!! IM GONNA GO CRAZYY!!! HEEEEEEEELLP!!

]]> ~antic-cafe Gonna be a long six months.....! http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/26076077/ http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/26076077/ Mon, 20 Jul 2009 21:51:35 PDT
Ive already read 2/3 mangas I brought. Im way far in a ds game that I just started 8 days ago, and im running out of bootleg dvds to watch!!!! *dies* I just dont know what to do with my self!!!

I do get out everyday and walk to my coffee shop and have a latte and toffee muffin. I also walk other places sometimes too, but its just so darn HOT OUT!!! Its KILLER!!! X_X

And the only person I talk to is my dad....and thats not always the greatest! -.-; so yeah...I want to make friends but dont know how. I dont speak their language and I look really weird so ppl just give me dirty looks and avoid me. Theyve never seen a large (and i mean over weight by that) Person whos glasses are funky and doesnt wear a bra....>.< so yeah its difficult!

Im kinda stressing about it all. I want soo badly to make friends but dont know how! And Id get out more if it werent for the dang sun!! And when I go out I sweat like a pig!! The chinese dont sweat AT ALL!!! Its amazing! so I always come back looking like a semi truck hit me under water! XP

Other than that, its all good! I love seeing the sites and going shopping! Im trying to learn a little mandrin and such so i can communicate more. I want to try and find somewhere where i can start taking japanese lessons! That would be cool! I just dont know where to look!!

Thats about it. I REALLY MISS YOU GUYS!!! I wish some of you were here with me!!! It would be much better! And I have skype so let me know if you wanna chat! Just let me know what ur skype name is..ive been having creepy guys call me! >.< so yeah If i dont know the name i block it.

Also as a reminder, when its 6 am here, itll be 6 pm there. so we kinda have to time things right. I cant call in the day time or neigther can u. Id be sleeping or you guys would be! I know its kinda difficult but I would REALLY REALLY REALLY LOVE to talk to some of you! Im getting lonely!

Well baii baii!! Love love!

]]> ~antic-cafe Nihao from Shanghai!!! http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/25902017/ http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/25902017/ Sun, 12 Jul 2009 15:24:44 PDT
The only thing is, is that its always in the 90s temperature wise! And the humidity kills! *falls over* And the bad thing is that you have to walk EVERY WHERE!!!!! *gasps for air* X_x

But Ive found a lot of cool stores!!! There are sooooo many things for me to do! Its almost overwheming! XD Im home alone at the apt right now and will be for 4 days. My dad had to go to france and bring back a new airplane. So I dont really know what to do with my self!

Its kinda hard because EVERYONE looks at you like youre some kinda deranged science experiment gone wrong! >.< I stick out liks a giant sore thumb! At least I dont know what ppl are saying about me cause its in chinese! It helps. Plus, they look at all foreigners that way. Theres no way around it!

So I thought DA was going to be the site that is blocked, but its actually facebook that is! So yeah...it sucks! Ive tried a proxy but itll only do one page at a time. You have to keep going back. So I haven yet figured how to get on there yet.

I found this ABSOLUTELY AMAZING ANIME STORE!!! (ok its more like 30 stores in one building!) Its like a dream come true!! And everything is soooo cheap!!! Its heaven! I almost fainted from excitment!!!

I found some APH pins and bought two! (I was sad, they didnt have my character Taiwan!!! TT_TT ) So I bought China and Italia. They had almost everyone! even the characters that are unimportant! YET THEY DIDNT HAVE TIAWAN!!! GRRRRRRR!!! I was mad! But I also bought a Menchi fan! its awsome! There were so many things I wanted to buy! But Im gonna be here 6 months so I have to pace my self! XD

So yeah. Im just here hanging out! Its 6 am right now. Im gonna go swimming later (at the hotel were at) and maybe go get some coffee. I just hope I dont get run over! The car drivers are crazy! They dont care if they kill you! Its insane! And I have to cross the street at a 4 way intersection to get to the coffee place!! O_O Wish me luck!!!! OH and taking a taxi cost too much. I only do that if its a long distance away. Other than that, you walk everywhere!!!

And tomorrow Im schedualed for a message at the spa in the hotel! That will be nice!! Cant wait!!

So yeah that about it! Ive already had food poisioning and got really sick so I hope that doesnt happen again! It was REALLLY bad!

I hope you all are ok and doing well! I miss you all! Love love!

]]> ~antic-cafe New Plans Once Again! http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/25489762/ http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/25489762/ Tue, 23 Jun 2009 07:37:36 PDT
Ill be there for 6 months! Im REALLY excited for it, yet scared at the same time! It gonna be totally different! *shudders*

Im going to have to learn to haggle. Once they see a white person they bump the price of some thing up 10 times!!! *falls over* X.x Ill have to learn the actual accurate prices of things and then learn to say "no". Thats gonna be hard. I feel like Im being mean when I do that!

Also Ill have to learn to stand up for myself and show them WHOS BOSS!! XD lol Yeah. If i dont I will just get left behind and such. I need to learn how to buge and push my way past ppl to get what I want like a seat on the bus even! The Chinese are very rude. They have no consern for others. So that will be difficult too!

But I know I can do it!! I HAVE to do it! I dont have a choice in the matter now. I know I can tho. It will take some time getting use to but thats how it is everywhere you go.

So China blocks alot of sites. I dont know which ones ill be able to get on to yet. But I can email and skype for sure!

I suggest for those who want to keep in contact with me, to get skype! Its FREE! *gasp* all you need is a microphone! and you can have webcam too! but its not nessecary! Ill have it on my comp!

Sending me stuff/me sending you stuff will be very hard! It costs and uberly insane amount to ship things from china to the us. and via versa. so yeah. I think I can sent letters (that isnt as much) but packages cost something along the lines of over 50$!!! I think its even more! *dies* O_o so yeah just a heads up!

Ill be posting my skype name and address. My I have two email and ill give you guys the one that I use the most!

Im gonna be in town for awile still, but the time is drawing near! Ill let you all know when I leave!

If any of you have skype/email send it to me in a pm please! I dont want to loose contact with all you guys!

MUCH LOVE!

~Alli (aka Mokona) ^w^

]]> ~antic-cafe New Plans Once Again! http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/25489760/ http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/25489760/ Tue, 23 Jun 2009 07:37:08 PDT
Ill be there for 6 months! Im REALLY excited for it, yet scared at the same time! It gonna be totally different! *shudders*

Im going to have to learn to haggle. Once they see a white person they bump the price of some thing up 10 times!!! *falls over* X.x Ill have to learn the actual accurate prices of things and then learn to say "no". Thats gonna be hard. I feel like Im being mean when I do that!

Also Ill have to learn to stand up for myself and show them WHOS BOSS!! XD lol Yeah. If i dont I will just get left behind and such. I need to learn how to buge and push my way past ppl to get what I want like a seat on the bus even! The Chinese are very rude. They have no consern for others. So that will be difficult too!

But I know I can do it!! I HAVE to do it! I dont have a choice in the matter now. I know I can tho. It will take some time getting use to but thats how it is everywhere you go.

So China blocks alot of sites. I dont know which ones ill be able to get on to yet. But I can email and skype for sure!

I suggest for those who want to keep in contact with me, to get skype! Its FREE! *gasp* all you need is a microphone! and you can have webcam too! but its not nessecary! Ill have it on my comp!

Sending me stuff/me sending you stuff will be very hard! It costs and uberly insane amount to ship things from china to the us. and via versa. so yeah. I think I can sent letters (that isnt as much) but packages cost something along the lines of over 50$!!! I think its even more! *dies* O_o so yeah just a heads up!

Ill be posting my skype name and address. My I have two email and ill give you guys the one that I use the most!

Im gonna be in town for awile still, but the time is drawing near! Ill let you all know when I leave!

If any of you have skype/email send it to me in a pm please! I dont want to loose contact with all you guys!

MUCH LOVE!

~Alli (aka Mokona) ^w^

]]> ~antic-cafe Good times, Good memories! <3 http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/25324290/ http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/25324290/ Mon, 15 Jun 2009 08:24:53 PDT .< )

So this weekend was a REALLY buisy weekend! I went to Emily's picnic in burnsville! That was super fun! I got to see ppl i didnt think i would get to see! it was nice just hanging out with everyone! They were all so nice!

I was put off by a couple of things (how a certain person acted towards me) but im not going into details. Its not worth it.

But cosplay chess was hilarious! I was a pawn even tho I wasnt in cosplay! and I was never killed! YAY! *does triumphant dance* XD And I got to kill Italy! lol XD it was fun!...but i got this HUGE sunburn! and its right on my chest. I was wearing my cat bell collar so you can see where the bell was. its kinda funny actually! n-n;

I stayed the whole time and then got back to my aunts house and went to bed early. The next day was the yyh photoshoot that

set up!

Im happy that I was able to go. I didnt know anyone but I got comfortable with them and got to know them better! Omg! I have a video of Hiei dancing to sexy back! *dies* O_O Its soooo friggin hilarious! ...and sorta hot....lol

but we were out side most of the day. We couldnt really go inside the house, which was a bummer since it was soo HOT!!!

So we walked to a pizza place. It was sooo friggin hot! OMG! I ALMOST DIED! We had to stop and get a drink a super america. we finally made it to the place and it was sooooooooo yummmy! mmmmmmh! We all stayed there for a good amount of time just talking and haning out (none of us really wanted to go back outside! )

then we left and when we got back my aunt was waiting for me. It was earlier than I said to pick me up. but oh well. funny thing is, is that she was just there to know where its located for later on, but since I was ready we left.

But I got LEEANN CHIN ON THE WAY HOME! It was really YUMMY! ^W^

then I just kinda hung out. so yeah and here I am at my aunts house doing nothing, waiting for 7 pm to come around so my mom can pick me up and then go pick my dad up at the airport.

Im not really looking forward to going home. Im going to have to be packing the whole time! I DONT WANNA DO IT! WAAAAAAAAAH!!!! TT_TT I want to work on cosplays!

I wont be able to work on cosplays for a while. Ill be in china so i can work on stuff. I was planning to go to some cons during the summer but that wont work anymore since ill be in China the whole summer. But its better than a con! ^.^ Im really looking forward to it! just not the moving/packing for florida part.....

so yeah thats what Ive been up to! Ill update soon and let you guys know how things are going! I want to try and make it to the locking this friday but i doubt it along with Hetalia meeting. But if I can come I will. Just dont count on it.

I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!

]]> ~antic-cafe Valley Fair Tiem= EPIC TIEM!!! http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/25249493/ http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/25249493/ Thu, 11 Jun 2009 07:17:29 PDT It was soo good to see Emily,Kari, Hammer, Tessa, and Derek!! It was soo uberly fun!

It was raining most of the day (but I was prepared and brought the new sanrio umbrella)
But it stopped raining soon and everything was fine! We met up with other ppl and then split off again. I went on only 2 roller coaster, but I went on other rides like the Enterprise!OMG! THAT WAS FRIGGING AWSOME! n_n Hehe! I also went on other rides too.

I mostly hung out and watched ppls stuff when they went on rides and went swimming at the waterpark. not so much fun but after Hammer and I went and played games. I won a Panda plushie!! (still decideing what to name him!) Hes soo soft too! ^w^

Then we met up with Emily and we all shared a funnel cake! CAN YOU BELIEVE THE HAD NEVER HAD ONE!!! X_x It was fun. Buy the time we were done they had powdered sugar all over! LULZ! XD

Hammer and I mostly hung out together while the others were doing the intense stuff. He is sooo sweet! And super nice! We went on the train and met up with the other group with Kenny. then Hammer and I wanted to go on the carousel. We were gonna meet up with Emily and Kari but that didnt happen. Oh well. We had a fun time racing our horses! XD

I WON! LOL

So then Hammer and I went on the old fashion cars! That was EPIC!! They were the really really old cars! AND you could actually drive them! It was so fun!...in a totally nerdy way! XD but you could stop and go when u please which was good...cus i dropped my umbrella and we had to get out and get it! (i dont think that was technically allowed...but oh well)

then we just met up with the other and hung out till it was closing time. We were there from opening to closing!

MY feet hurt really bad! and my body's sore from all the rides! But its worth it!

Im happy. I went shopping on mon. and tue. and got some cool stuff. I finaly found a GREAT hat for my rhyme cosplay! Yay!! *throws confetti* And I got Gir shoes and awsome leg warmers...but they kinda got frayed at VF. I had to take them off.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

OK. Heres the important stuff!! READ IT!!!

oK originally Im moving to FL (and still am) My dad had been promising me for 2 FRICKIN YEARS that i would go to china. But because of the divorce we dont have enough money for that AND a car (which I need badly for my appartment and school)

So he and I made a deal that I would move to FL and get a car. and when we had enough money, I could go to china. Well...noa hes changed his mind.

He wants me to go to China for THE WHOLE SUMMER!!! SQUEEEEEEEEE!! *jumps up and down*

and we'll put my stuff in storage and when i get back then get my appartment and a car. He doenst want an appt. when Im not there and still having to pay for it.

Im UBER excited!!! But Im a little confused. Things keep on changing. My dad always changes his mind. And breaks alot of his promises too. so I really dont know what to think. But as of nao im excited!

I will be going to the south of the river anime picnic on Saturday. But I think thats it. I dont think Ill come into town any more. Unless i hear otherwise. We have to pack and crap. So Im sorry If I havent seen you and said good bye to some of you! TT_TT

I REALLY would like to, but we have a lot going on. If I can, I will! But dont count on it....

But all of my friends are invited to visit me in Florida! (once i get and appartment that is XD ) and i will visit too!

You all mean soo much to me! Im so happy that I met you guys! YOu made me a better person. I dont know what I would have done without you!

I LOVE YOU ALL!

P.S.

If you dont have my number just pm me. Ill give it to you (and you have to give me yours too ) ill always been on DA and FB!!

]]> ~antic-cafe Sooo... http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/25143976/ http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/25143976/ Fri, 05 Jun 2009 13:23:27 PDT
And I just loved hanging out with the lovely

and

!! Im glad you guys could stay later! it wouldnt have been the same if you were not there!

I also had fun with Heather on sunday going to see Terminator: Salvation!! OMFG!!! AMAZING MOVIE! SOOO AWSOME! *hyperventilates* *weeze* I HIGHLY recommend it to any of you! its one of the best so far! and you so know that there will be 2 more after this! *jumps up and down* SQUEEEEEEEE!! ^O^

Then the next few days I was just with my aunt out doing fun things and shopping! I got a cute cardigan (i really need more, my others are getting old) and I was looking all over for The World Ends With You DS game. I finally found it, but it was used! Thats ok tho! they stopped making it so it will be hard to find a new one!...and i got it for $17.99!! How awsome is that!

I am totally in L-O-V-E with that game! im already on day 4. I have plans to cosplay as Rhyme! I love her! and it wont be that hard of a cosplay either! n_n

So Im at home for a little bit, but then I come back to the cities early on sunday!! YAY!! Im excited! i hope to see more ppl! :3 I am also going to do more shopping for cardigans and get the shirt and hat for Rhyme. Those will be easy. I already saw some hats that would work last time i was in! HEHE!

OH! and i am officially going to the ValleyFair thing on the 10th and the picnic on the 13th!! Im REALLY happy about that! Then I get to see more ppl! YAY! *throws confetti* ^w^

So Ill be back in the cities soon and ill be there for awhile! I dont think ill make it to the lockin tho...we'll probably be moving by then...TT_TT so yeah...it sucks but then it doesnt at the same time.

I promise to visit you guys like ive been saying! Im more than likely coming up for AD10 (im Taiwan in the APH group) and ill visit alot! I have A TON of family in the cities!

And all of you are more then welcome in florida! I would love if some of you visited me too! ^.^

Well thats all for now. Just have to look forward to sunday and coming back to the cities! I hope to see some of you!

LOVE LOVE

]]> ~antic-cafe That was a big weekend! *exhaughsted* http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/24957784/ http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/24957784/ Tue, 26 May 2009 09:23:24 PDT
Im GRADUATED!! HUZZZAH! ^.^ Man last week was soo increadibly hectic! But I DID IT!!!

Thursday I had my drivers test and....I PASSED! I am a liscensed driver now!! YAY! ^.^ Im so happy about that! Then friday I got up and rehearsed for graduating and then later that night graduated and then went to an all night grad party lockin! It was UBER fun! I got a characature of me! Ill have to upload it soon! its really funny! XP but not flattering at all! X_X lol

OMG! my WHOLE family came for my graduation! I was soo happy! But I was embarassed to the point of almost breaking down! My parents and aunt and cousins were teasing me that they were going to bring a blow horn for graduation...i thought they were kidding..but they werent!!

As I got up on the stage to recive my diploma, all of a sudden a huge air horn blow came and starttled everyone! I almost peed my self! XD But it was great! I got the biggest applause out of EVERYONE! and once they blew the horn more ppl started cheering for me! I couldnt believe it!

The funny thing was, was that my friend and I were talking earlier about how having a big audience and applause is the best thing! And guess what! I GOT THE BIGGEST ONE! When I came back to my seat everyone was like "theres no way Ill measure up to that!" or "how am I supposed to beat that!?!?" and all hugged me and patted me on the back!

so since there was the locking that night i slept all day on saturday. Then since my family was over we had a kind of bday/graduation celebration for me! I got over $800 in all! and for my bday my mom got me a necklace with a panda on it with REAL DIAMONDA AND BLOOD DIAMONDS! its beautiful! I love it! And my dad got me and astro boy purse/bag from china! Its awsome!

It all went better than I thought! Im really happy how it all turned out.

I will not be going to metrocon this year buy probably AFO. And I wont be going to China right away like my dad promised. Due to all the divorce stuff, we are now limited on our money. So im going to get a car when I go back to florida and then once there is enough money ill go to china! So all hope is not lost! n_n

I have to go into school (even tho i graduated) and work on some unfinished art. Only for two days tho! then Im probably going into the cities. My mom needs to go back to florida for a while.

But my Mokona's bday party is this saturday, the 30th! Its at MOA from 1pm-4pm! I hope all of you can make it! It would make me sooo happy! :3

Well thats all for now! got to get ready for school (wow thats so wierd since i graduated! lol XD )

I hope all of you are having a good time and good luck on finals and what not!

I LOVE YOU ALL!
~Alli <3 <3

]]> ~antic-cafe wow..Bummer... http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/24750456/ http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/24750456/ Thu, 14 May 2009 08:30:22 PDT
I have two power point to do by next week and study for a test and a final. then read a whole book (its not that bad! its a good book and im on ch.5) n_n; But im just been swamped with all sorts of stuff!

Im sad i wont be having a grad party. I had a disagreement with my parents and now im not going to have one. It makes me REALLY sad! TT_TT
But theres nothing I can do about it.

Im happy that my bday party is still going on! I REALLY hope my good friends can make it! it wouldnt be the same without them! *crosses fingers*

but on another bad note..i dont think ill be able to go to metrocon anymore. Its not final yet. Im working on things. I thought we would have moved back to florida by then by my dad doesnt get back to the US till june 13th and we have to pack up all our crap and DRIVE DOWN!! so i dont think i could make it in time! but im going to see if i can fly down and stay with a friend, like i did last time!

I already have $200 of graduating money! and thats just from 3 ppl! O.O so yeah there will be more coming in too! yay! hehe! XD

But im am soooo excited to finally be graduating! I cant believe it! It doesnt seem real! I just hope i can finish these things in time! I know I will,...its just stressful! *sigh*

Sorry i havent been on lately. Well..Ive been on, just havent posted anything. I dont have time for art right now. Im doing what I can at school. Im working on soapstone carving! its gonna be awsome! But I have to focus on school for now.

Thats about it. Idk what else to say! But im happy im graduating and moving back home to florida! I WILL MISS ALL OF YOU TERRIBLY! but hopefully we can see more of eachother before i leave! ^.^

]]> ~antic-cafe Im doing ok! http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/24510364/ http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/24510364/ Thu, 30 Apr 2009 08:31:19 PDT I think

my room with me at a hotel and shes looking for more ppl to room with us to cut down the costs. I REALLY hope this works! *crosses fingers*

Other than that, Im just buisy working on senior/graduation stuff. I have all my community service hours in and Im almost done with my P.E. requirements! then Im all clear!...well except for some end of the semester projects...-_-

But I can get that all done!

I want to have a bday party but I dont know if itll happen or not. Everythings kinda hectic. But I also might have a grad party at my aunts house in Eden Prairie and all my friends can come! AND there will be a wii and stuff! so im hopeing things work out! ^.^

theres just soo much stuff that I want to do! I dont think I could get it done in time! Which makes Mokona sad! Y.Y but yeah...

so thats about it! Ill let you guys know of any plans that I make concerning my bday party and grad party! Ill keep yall posted! XD

Thats all for now! tooddles! ^.^ lol

LOVE LOVE <33

]]> ~antic-cafe Metrocon Emergency! http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/24476955/ http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/24476955/ Tue, 28 Apr 2009 08:56:42 PDT
Im in need of help! *gets down on knees and begs* Is there ANYONE OUT THERE that would want/can come to metrocon? Please let me know soon! Because If I cant find anyone...then I wont be able to go. And that makes me uber sad! TT_TT

I dont know if

would want to come? Would you danielle? Its mid june. Idk if youll already be a fullsail by then or not. It would be awsome if you could come! we need to go to a con together sometime! ^.^ just think about it! AND EVERYONE ELSE TOO!

alright. Im done. But if any one you have any ideas please let me know! I would BE ETERNALLY GREATFUL! <3333

]]> ~antic-cafe Been awhile! http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/24426502/ http://antic-cafe.deviantart.com/journal/24426502/ Sat, 25 Apr 2009 11:19:51 PDT
Ive just been REALLY buisy with all my senior stuff and graduation coming up. Im almost done with everything! Im a "little" behind in a class but I can catch up on that! Im almost done with my P.E. requirements. Just a few more hours! Yippeee!! *does happy dance*

And tonight Im going to an all night lock in at my school. Im going to be helping out with it all night (from 9pm-7am) But I will get all my Comunnity Servis hours! Which I need to graduate! So that will be a load off my chest! Then Im almost there! YAY! ^.^

So my dad left for China again yesterday. I dont know when he's gonna be back, or if he'll be here for my graduation. I really hope he is. That would kinda ruin it for me.

Im kinda blocking out alot of stuff right now. I need to or Id be a total reck! I acknowledge things, just dont dwell on them. This whole divorce thing is really wierd...-_-

Thats about it. Heather and I are going to Metrocon and are working out the details. Im still looking for a hotel. I think we've found one tho! *jumps up and down* HEHEH! Im excited for it!
I just hope ill have enough money to go to china afterwards! XD

Im thinking about having a birthday party sometime in May. It will be at MOA. And afterwards ppl can come over to my place (its in wisconsin..not that bad of a drive) and have a sleepover. Anyones welcome! Even guys! we would stay at the cabin next to our house (my grandpa owns it too) and when ppl are ready for bed the guys would stay there and the girls come back to my house. They are in walking distance. But all this is a WIP. I still dont know how it will go. and the date/time or anyting. The only thing is, my parents wont be able to drive ppl back in to the cities. so if some ppl can drive, perhaps you can carpool or something idk...like I said Im working on it!

Alrighty! Thats it!

Love Love <3

]]> ~antic-cafe