http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:ap0str03&section=today deviantART RSS for by:ap0str03 en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Wed, 09 Dec 2009 16:16:34 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/25565448/ http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/25565448/ Fri, 26 Jun 2009 11:35:05 PDT Feeling your head pop
Out in the night
In the kind of night
Where you want to be out
On the street, on the street
Crawling up the walls
Like a cat in heat

And the air is thin
And it blows through your skin
And you feel like something
Is about to begin
But you don't know what
And you don't know when
So you tear at your hair
And you scratch at your skin

You wanna run away, run away
Just get on the fucking train and leave today
And it doesn't matter where you spend the night
You just might end up somewhere in a fight, in a fight
Or calling your room on a concrete shelf
Fighting all alone, with yourself, with yourself
And you just wanna feel like a coin that's been tossed
In a wishing well, a wishing well
A wishing well, a wishing well
Well you're tossed in the air
And you fell and you fell
Through the dark blue waters
Where you cast your spell
Like you were just a wish that could turn out well

So you stand on the corner
Where the angels sit
And you think to yourself,
"This is it, this is it
This is all that I have
All I can stand
Is this air in my lungs
And this coin in my hand"
That you tossed in the air
And I fell, and I fell
All the way to the bottom
Of the well, of the well

Like those soft little secrets
That you tell, that you tell
To yourself, when you think
No one's listening to, well
And the walls spin
And you're paper-thin
From the haze of the smoke
And the mescaline
The threat of your brow
Under unmade sheets
In your ear with the noise
From the darkest streets

We ran far and wide
You screamed, you cried
You thought suicide was an alibi
But you were always a mess
You were always aloof
Yeah, it's awful, I guess
But it's the awful truth

It was truth from the first
To the last words that she read
And she emerged from the dark
Like a ghost in my head
She said, "I haven't forgot
Any words that you said
I just stare at the clocks
And I cry in my sleep
And I tear up your letters
And I burn them in heaps
And I gather the ashes
In that hole in the ground
Where we fell"

[link]

]]> ~ap0str03 http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/25411980/ http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/25411980/ Fri, 19 Jun 2009 09:32:51 PDT hard to see
when you crawl
on your hands and your knees
with your face
in the trough
wait your turn
while they finish you off
don’t know when it started
don’t know how
should have found out
should have happened by now
got these lines
on my face
after all this time
and i still haven’t found my place

i jump from every rooftop
so high so far to fall
i feel a million miles away
i don’t feel any thing at all

i wake up
on the floor
start it up again
like it matters anymore
i don’t know
if it does
is this really all
that there ever was?
put the gun
in my mouth
close your eyes
blow my fucking brains out
pretty patterns
on the floor
that’s enough for you
but i still need more

i jump from every rooftop
so high so far to fall
i feel a million miles away
i don’t feel any thing at all

[link]

]]> ~ap0str03 http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/23922485/ http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/23922485/ Fri, 27 Mar 2009 18:44:58 PDT I freaking heart his voice...hard.

I've been roamin around always lookin down
and all I see
painted faces fill the places I can't reach
you know that I could use somebody
you know that I could use somebody

someone like you and all you know and how you speak
countless lovers undercover of the street
you know that I could use somebody
you know that I could use somebody

someone like you

all through the night while you're livin up I'm off to sleep
waging wars to shape the poet and the beat
I hope it's gonna make you notice
I hope it's gonna make you notice

someone like me
someone like me
someone like me somebody

(I'm ready now I'm ready now I'm ready now)

someone like you somebody
someone like you somebody
someone like you somebody

I've been roamin around always lookin down and all I see...

[link]

]]> ~ap0str03 http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/23652754/ http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/23652754/ Wed, 11 Mar 2009 23:16:46 PDT Or maybe I'm a dog who's lost its bite
I don't expect to be treated like a fool no more
I don't expect to sleep through the night
Some people say a lie's a lie's a lie
But I say why
Why deny the obvious child?
Why deny the obvious child?

And in remembering a road sign
I am remembering a girl when I was young
And we said
These songs are true
These days are ours
These tears are free
And hey
The cross is in the ballpark
The cross is in the ballpark

We had a lot of fun
We had a lot of money
We had a little son and we thought we'd call him Sonny
Sonny gets married and moves away
Sonny has a baby and bills to pay
Sonny gets sunnier
Day by day by day by day

I've been waking up at sunrise
I've been following the light across my room
I watch the night receive the room of my day
Some people say the sky is just the sky
But I say
Why deny the obvious child?
Why deny the obvious child?

Sonny sits by his window and thinks to himself
How it's strange that some rooms are like cages
Sonny's yearbook from high school
Is down from the shelf
And he idly thumbs through the pages
Some have died
Some have fled from themselves
Or struggled from here to get there
Sonny wanders beyond his interior walls
Runs his hand through his thinning brown hair

Well I'm accustomed to a smoother ride
Maybe I'm a dog that's lost his bite
I don't expect to be treated like a fool no more
I don't expect to sleep the night
Some people say a lie is just a lie
But I say the cross is in the ballpark
Why deny the obvious child?

[link]

]]> ~ap0str03 http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/21873184/ http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/21873184/ Sun, 07 Dec 2008 21:03:58 PST And all this waiting, for the power.
For some answer, to this fire.
Sinking slowly. The water's higher.
Desire

With no secrets. No obsession.
This time I'm speeding with no direction.
Without a reason. What is this fire?
Burning slowly. My one and only.
Desire

You know me. You know my way in.
You just can't show me, but God I'm praying,
That you'll find me, and that you'll see me,
You're running and never tire.
Desire

[link]

]]> ~ap0str03 http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/21767186/ http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/21767186/ Mon, 01 Dec 2008 13:53:09 PST Alanis Morissette - Not As We
[link]

reborn and shivering
spat out on new terrain
unsure unconvincing
this faint and shaky hour

day one, day one
start over again
step one step one
barely making sense
for now I'm faking it
til I'm pseudo making it
from scratch begin again
but this time I as I
and not as we

gun shy and quivering
timid without a hymn
feign brave with steel intent
little and hardly here

day one day one
start over again
step one step one
with not much making sense
just yet I'm faking it
til I'm pseudo making it
from scratch begin again
but this time I as I
and not as we

eyes wet toward
wide open frayed
if God's taking bets
I pray He wants to lose

day one day one
start over again
step one step one
I'm barely making sense
just yet I'm faking it
til I'm pseudo making it
from scratch begin again
but this time I as I
and not as we

]]> ~ap0str03 http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/21685993/ http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/21685993/ Wed, 26 Nov 2008 18:03:19 PST Ricky Lee Jones and Tom Waits - a lullabye to myself
Rainbow Sleeves

you used to
dream yourself away each night
to places that you've never been
on wings
made of wishes
that you whispered to yourself

back when
every night the moon and you would
sweep away to places
that you knew
you never got the blues

well now whiskey
gives you wings to carry
each one of your dreams
and the moon does not bring luck to you
but I believe
that your heart keeps young dreams
and I've been told
to keep from ever growing old
and a heart that has been broken
will be stronger when it mends

don't let the blues
stop you singing
darlin you've only got a broken wing
hey, you just
hang on to my rainbow
hang on to my rainbow
hang on to my rainbow
sleeves

-sadly this is not on youtube. I strongly recommend downloading it. It's truly sweet and beautiful. ]]> ~ap0str03 http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/21455991/ http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/21455991/ Wed, 12 Nov 2008 15:08:27 PST The Airborne Toxic Event - Sometime Around Midnight - how it will be from now on. ah, regret
[link]

And it starts, sometime around midnight.
Or at least that's when you lose yourself
for a minute or two.
As you stand, under the bar lights.
And the band plays some song
about forgetting yourself for a while.
And the piano's this melancholy soundtrack to her smile.
And that white dress she's wearing
you haven't seen her for a while.

But you know, that she's watching.
She's laughing, she's turning.
She's holding her tonic like a cross.
The room's suddenly spinning.
She walks up and asks how you are.
So you can smell her perfume.
You can see her lying naked in your arms.

And so there's a change, in your emotions.
And all these memories come rushing
like feral waves to your mind.
Of the curl of your bodies,
like two perfect circles entwined.
And you feel hopeless and homeless
and lost in the haze of the wine.

Then she leaves, with someone you don't know.
But she makes sure you saw her
She looks right at you and bolts.
As she walks out the door,
your blood boiling
your stomach in ropes.
Oh and your friends say,
What is it? You look like you've seen a ghost.

Then you walk, under the streetlights.
And you're too drunk to notice,
that everyone is staring at you.
You just don't care what you look like,
the world is falling around you.

You just have to see her.
You just have to see her.
You just have to see her.
You just have to see her.
You just have to see her.
You know that she'll break you in two.

]]> ~ap0str03 http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/21210704/ http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/21210704/ Tue, 28 Oct 2008 23:59:25 PDT done.
[link]

I find it hard to shed a tear
you brought it on yourself my dear
and wrong, yes I may be
don't leave a light on for me
cuz I ain't coming home
it hurts me baby to be alone
yes, it hurts me baby.

a hundred years will never ease
there are things I won't believe
I saw it with my own two eyes
all the pain I can't hide
and this pain starts in my heart
and this love tears us apart

won't find me bent down on my knees, oh yeah
ain't bending over backwards baby
not to please

cuz I'm seeing things for the first time
oh I'm seeing things for the first time
oh yeah seeing things for the first time
in my life
in my life
yeah

and I used to dream
of better days that never came
and sorry ain't nothing to me
I'm gone and that's the way it must be
so please I've done my time
loving you was such a crime

you won't find me down on my knees
oh, no no no
won't find me over backwards baby
just to please
oh yeah

cuz I'm seeing things for the first time
I'm seeing things for the first time
seeing things for the first time
seeing things for the first time
yeah, seeing things for the first time
oh seeing things for the first time
yeah down on my knees for the first time
in my life
in my life
ohhhh, yeah.

]]> ~ap0str03 http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/21121817/ http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/21121817/ Thu, 23 Oct 2008 07:26:38 PDT thinking
[link]

Only love
Can make it rain
The way the beach is kissed by the sea.
Only love
Can make it rain
Like the sweat of lovers
Laying in the fields.

Love, reign o'er me.
Love, reign o'er me, reign o'er me, reign o'er me.

Only love
Can bring the rain
That makes you yearn to the sky.
Only love
Can bring the rain
That falls like tears from on high.

Love, reign o'er me, reign o'er me, reign o'er me.
Love, reign o'er me, reign o'er me, reign o'er me.

On the dry and dusty road
The nights we spend apart alone
I need to get back home to cool cool rain.
I can't sleep and I lay and I think
The nights is hot and black as ink
Oh God, I need a drink of cool cool rain.

]]> ~ap0str03 http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/21046712/ http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/21046712/ Sat, 18 Oct 2008 12:01:41 PDT i still believe.
[link]

we'll do it all
everything
on our own

we don't need
anything
or anyone

if I lay here
if I just lay here
would you lie with me and
just forget the world

I don't quite know
how to say
how I feel

those three words
are said too much
they're not enough

if I lay here
if I just lay here
would you lie with me and
just forget the world
forget what we're told
before we get too old
show me a garden that's
bursting into life

let's waste time
chasing cars
around our heads

if I lay here
if I just lay here
would you lie with me and
just forget the world
forget what we're told
before we get too old
show me a garden that's
bursting into life

all that I am
all that I ever was
is here in your perfect eyes
they're all I can see
I don't know where
confused about how as well
just know that these things
will never change for us at all

if I lay here
if I just lay here
would you lie with me and
just forget the world

]]> ~ap0str03 http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/21010104/ http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/21010104/ Wed, 15 Oct 2008 23:22:35 PDT i still believe.
[link]

I sit alone and watch the clock
trying to collect my thoughts
all I think about is you
and so I cry myself to sleep
and hope the devil I don't meet
in the dreams that I live through

believe in me
I know you've waited for so long
believe in me
sometimes the weak become the strong

believe in me
this life's not always what it seems
believe in me
cuz I was made for chasing dreams

all the smiles you've had fake
and all the shit you've had to take
just to lead us here again

I never have the things to say
to make it all just go away
to make it all just disappear

believe in me
I know you've waited for so long
believe in me
sometimes the weak become the strong

believe in me
this life's not always what it seems
believe in me
cuz I was made for chasing dreams

it's my life
it's my choice
hear my words
hear my voice
and just believe

I sit alone and watch the clock
trying to collect my thoughts
and all I think about is you

if you believe in me
life's not always what it seems
believe in me
cuz I was made for chasing dreams

believe in me
I know you've waited for so long
believe in me
sometimes the weak become the strong

believe in me
this life's not always what it seems
believe in me
cuz I was made for chasing dreams

]]> ~ap0str03 http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/20933277/ http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/20933277/ Sat, 11 Oct 2008 08:09:38 PDT the killers
[link]

I did my best to notice
when the call came down the line
up to the platform of surrender
I was brought but I was kind
and sometimes I get nervous
when I see an open door
close your eyes
clear your heart

cut the cord

are we human
or are we dancers
my sign is vital
my hands are cold
and I'm on my knees
looking for the answer
are we human
or are we dancers

pay my respects to grace and virtue
send my condolences to good
give my regards to soul and romance
they always did the best they could
and so long to devotion
you taught me everything I know
wave goodbye
wish me well

you've gotta let me go

are we human
or are we dancers
my sign is vital
my hands are cold
and I'm on my knees
lookin for the answers
are we human
or are we dancers

will your system be alright
when you dream of home tonight
there is no message we're receiving
let me know is your heart still beating

are we human
or are we dancers
my sign is vital
my hands are cold
and I'm on my knees
looking for the answers

you gotta let me know

are we human
or are we dancers
my sign is vital
my hands are cold
and I'm on my knees
lookin for the answers
are we human
or are we dancers

are we human
or are we dancers
are we human
or are we dancers

]]> ~ap0str03 http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/20846763/ http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/20846763/ Sun, 05 Oct 2008 17:33:18 PDT the fighters of foo
[link]

hello I've waited here for you
everlong
tonight I've thrown myself in two
I'm out of the red
out of her head she sang

come down and waste away with me
down with me
slow how you wanted it to be
I'm over my head
out of her head she sang

and I wonder...
when I sing along with you
if everything could ever feel this real forever
if anything could ever be this good again
the only thing I'll ever ask of you
you gotta promise not to stop when I say when

she sang

breathe out so I can breathe you in
hold you in
and now I know you've always been
outta your head
outta my head I sang

and I wonder...
when I sing along with you
if everything could ever feel this real forever
if anything could ever be this good again
the only thing I'll ever ask of you
you gotta promise not to stop when I say when

she sang

and I wonder...
when I sing along with you
if everything could ever feel this real forever
if anything could ever be this good again
the only thing I'll ever ask of you
you gotta promise not to stop when I say when

]]> ~ap0str03 http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/20680644/ http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/20680644/ Fri, 26 Sep 2008 04:34:58 PDT
excepting all I've done and said
I want to stand and stare again
til there's nothing left and
it remains there in your eyes
whatever comes and goes
I will hear your silent call
and I will touch this tender wall
til I know I'm home again

love...
I get so lost sometimes
days pass
and this emptiness fills my heart
when I want to run away
I drive off in my car
but whichever way I go
I come back to the place you are

and all my instincts
they return
and the grand facade
so soon will burn
without a noise
without my pride
I reach out from the inside

in your eyes
the light, the heat
I am complete
the resolution
of all the fruitless searches
oh I see the light and the heat
I wanna be that complete
I wanna touch the light the heat I see in your eyes
in your eyes
in your eyes
in your eyes

love...
I don't like to see so much pain
so much wasted
and this moment keeps slipping away
I get so tired
working so hard for our survival
I look to the time with you
to keep me awake and alive

and all my instincts
they return
and the grand facade
so soon will burn
without a noise
without my pride
I reach out from the inside

in your eyes
the light the heat
I am complete
I see the doorway
to a thousand churches
the resolution
of all my fruitless searches

oh I see the light and the heat
oh I wanna be that complete
I wanna touch the light the heat I see in your eyes
in your eyes
in your eyes
in your eyes

[link]

]]> ~ap0str03 http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/20346665/ http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/20346665/ Fri, 05 Sep 2008 19:45:24 PDT
[link]

]]> ~ap0str03 http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/20224016/ http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/20224016/ Fri, 29 Aug 2008 18:30:18 PDT [link]
It was a speech. [link]
He's never said anything different.
And after fighting my own inner cynicism and faded hope and fear, I have come to believe him. His ideals are my ideals. But I thought they were so far-fetched, so improbable, that it was something I never even dreamed.

I have never been political. This to me surpasses politics, and forges a moral and ethical stand, on everything I believe to be good and true about this world, and all the people in it. And I have hope again. He gives us a huge task...he asks us to put aside our delusions, to cast off the blankets of complacency; to dare to hope again. And that is frightening. Standing alone, amidst the sardonic, amidst the sneering, working towards an idealism that has never before been achieved. A huge, bitter task, to believe in this country the way it was originally envisioned.

I invite you to listen, and think. Think about what events could happen to this nation, to the world and ask yourself...who do I want standing there for me? Who will tell the world the words I want them to hear?

Then make your choice, with a clear heart, and a free soul. Not out of fear or cynicism or a sense of loss.

Regardless of what your choice may be. The important thing, is to make one.

]]> ~ap0str03 http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/19735583/ http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/19735583/ Sat, 02 Aug 2008 12:40:22 PDT [link]

]]> ~ap0str03 http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/19616386/ http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/19616386/ Sun, 27 Jul 2008 01:08:51 PDT Breathe Me
one day I will get a phone call, and after I hang up, this is the song I will play; not because I expect to hear my heart will be broken...but rather, because this is how completely vulnerable and frightened I will feel, regardless.
[link]

help
I have done it again
I have been here many times before
hurt myself again today
and the worst part is
there's no one else to blame

be my friend
hold me
wrap me up
unfold me
I am small
and needy
warm me up
and breathe me

ouch
I have lost myself again
lost myself and I am no where
to be found
yeah I think that I might break
lost myself again and I feel unsafe

be my friend
hold me
wrap me up
unfold me
I am small
and needy
warm me up
and breathe me

be my friend
hold me
wrap me up
unfold me
I am small
and needy
warm me up
and breathe me

]]> ~ap0str03 http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/19604480/ http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/19604480/ Sat, 26 Jul 2008 09:49:14 PDT Muse - Stockholm Syndrome
I've always had a thing for lead guitarists who also sing...Foo Fighters, Collective Soul, Muse, all have their lead guitarist as their singer. I totally admire that, seeing as how I can't even walk and chew gum at the same time. Matt Bellamy of Muse also does all the keyboards. When I first heard this band I thought he was too breathy, too gaspy and dramatic, but he can hit such pure notes...and in no time at all they totally grew on me. This song definitely has roots in punk, but the guitar is so driving, so accomplished, it takes the listener down a path, sends them ass over tea kettle, and puts them right again. This song is mathematically perfect.
[link]

I won't stand in your way
let your hatred grow
and we'll fly and we'll fall and we'll burn
and no one will recall
no one will recall

this is the last time I
abandon you
and this is the last time I
forget you
(I wish I could)

look to the stars
let hope burn in your eyes
and we'll love and we'll hope and we'll die
all to no avail
all to no avail

this is the last time I
abandon you
and this is the last time I
forget you
(I wish I could)

this is the last time I
abandon you
and this is the last time I
forget you
I wish I could
I wish I could

]]> ~ap0str03 http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/19473344/ http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/19473344/ Fri, 18 Jul 2008 21:51:35 PDT Collective Soul - Shine
It keeps cutting off the first link to the original video, but you can find it from this version also, with the Atlanta Youth Symphony Orchestra...I am such a sucker for cellos, anyway
[link]

give me a word
give me a sign
show me where to look and
tell me what will I find
will I find

lay me on the ground
and fly me in the sky
show me where to look
and tell me what will I find
will I find

Oh, heaven let your light shine down
Oh, heaven let your light shine down
Oh, heaven let your light shine down
Oh, heaven let your light shine down

love is in the water
love is in the air
show me where to go and
tell me will love be there
love be there

teach me how to speak
teach me how to share
teach me where to go and
tell me will love be there
love be there

Oh, heaven let your light shine down
Oh, heaven let your light shine down
Oh, heaven let your light shine down
Oh, heaven let your light shine down

I'm gonna let it shine
I'm gonna let it shine
heaven's little light gonna shine on me
I said yeah, yeah
heaven's little light shine on me
oh shine, shine, shine on me
me
it's gonna shine
come on and shine

]]> ~ap0str03 http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/19152609/ http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/19152609/ Tue, 01 Jul 2008 18:36:18 PDT Collective Soul - Crown

I first heard this on my Dad's birthday...and it fits my life in so many ways...
[link]

who's gonna be my saviour
now that I've learned to believe
who's gonna be the answer
to all of my questionings

well I'm hope I'm not lost
but I think that hope is now distancing
and the words that secured a cause
are now faint whisperings

who's gonna wear my crown
who's gonna wear my crown
I don't know
I just might alone

who's gonna wear my crown
who's gonna wear my crown
I don't know
I just got to go my way

who's gonna be my partner
now that I stand here alone
who's gonna be the shepherd
to lead this poor boy back home

well I hope I'm not lost
but I think that hope is now distancing
and the words that secured a cause
are now faint distancings

who's gonna wear my crown
who's gonna wear my crown
I don't know
I just might alone

who's gonna wear my crown
who's gonna wear my crown
I don't know
I just got to go my way

who's gonna wear my crown
who's gonna wear my crown
I don't know
I just might alone

who's gonna wear my crown
who's gonna wear my crown
I don't know
I just got to go my way

]]> ~ap0str03 http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/19121387/ http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/19121387/ Mon, 30 Jun 2008 05:03:04 PDT Collective Soul - The World I Know
[link]

has our conscience shown
as the sweet breeze blows
has the kindness gone
hope still lingers on
I drink myself of new found pity
sitting alone in New York City
and I don't know why

are we listening
hymns of offering
have we eyes to see
love is gathering
all the words that I've been reading
have started the act of bleeding
into one...into one

so I walk up on high
and I step to the edge
to see my world below
and I laugh at myself
while the tears roll down
cuz it's a world I know
it's the world I know

I drink myself of new found pity
sitting alone in New York City
and I don't know why...don't know why

so I walk up on high
and I step to the edge
to see my world below
and I laughed at myself
while the tears rolled down
cuz it's the world I know
yeah it's the world I know

yeah I walk up on high
and I step to the edge
to see the world below
and I laughed at myself
while the tears rolled down
cuz it's the world I know
it's the world I know

]]> ~ap0str03 http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/19107665/ http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/19107665/ Sun, 29 Jun 2008 10:52:49 PDT Collective Soul - Needs
[link]

all around me
I see what weakness has made
too much tomorrow
I think I'll take all today

am I a poison
am I a thorn in the side
am I a picture
perfect subject tonight

and I don't need nobody
and I don't need the weight
of words to find a way
to crash on through

and I need nobody
and I just need to learn the depth
or doubt of faith
to fall into

here I slumber
to awaken my days
I find convenience
in this saviour I save

am I a prison
am I source of dire news
am I picture
perfect reason for you

I don't need nobody
I don't need the weight of words
to find the way
to crash on through

I don't need nobody
I just need to learn the depth
or doubt of faith
to fall into

then this time I'll substitute
it's my needs I've answered to
all the while

and all the hope that I invest
turns to signals of distress
all the while

I don't need nobody
I just to learn the depth
or doubt of faith
to fall into

you're all I need
when the water runs deep
yeah, you're all I need
now I cry my soul to sleep

]]> ~ap0str03 http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/19074686/ http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/19074686/ Fri, 27 Jun 2008 11:50:09 PDT Collective Soul - December
[link]

why drink the water
from my hands
contagious as you think I am

just tilt my soul
towards your domain
your cup runneth over again

don't scream about
don't think aloud
turn your head now baby
just spit me out
don't worry bout
don't speak of doubt
turn your head now baby
just spit me out

why follow me
to higher ground
lost as you swear I am

don't throw away
your basic needs:
ambience and vanity

don't scream about
don't think aloud
turn your head now baby
just spit me out
don't worry bout
don't speak of doubt
turn your head now baby
just spit me out

don't scream about
don't think aloud
turn your head now baby
just spit me out
don't worry bout
don't speak of doubt
turn your head now baby
just spit me out

December promise you gave unto me
December whispers of treachery
December clouds are now covering me
December songs no longer I sing

]]> ~ap0str03 http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/19032464/ http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/19032464/ Wed, 25 Jun 2008 04:39:51 PDT the smiths - how soon is now
[link]

I am the son
and the heir
of a shyness
that is criminally vulgar
I am the son and heir
of nothing in particular

you shut your mouth
how can you say
I go about things the wrong way
I am human and I need to be loved
just like everybody else does

I am the son
and the heir
of a shyness
that is criminally vulgar
I am the son and heir
of nothing in particular

you shut your mouth
how can you say
I go about things the wrong way
I am human and I need to be loved
just like everybody else does

there's a club if you'd like to go
you could meet somebody who really loves you
so you go
and you stand on your own
and you leave on your own
and you go home and you cry
and you want to die

when you say it's gonna happen now
well, when exactly do you mean
see I've already waited too long
and all my hope is gone

I am human and I need to be loved
just like everybody else does

]]> ~ap0str03 http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/18954839/ http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/18954839/ Fri, 20 Jun 2008 18:06:46 PDT the cure
[link]

I've been looking so long at these pictures of you
that I almost believe that they're real
I've been living so long with my pictures of you
that I almost believe that the pictures
are all I can feel

remembering you standing quiet in the rain
as I ran to your heart to be near
and we kissed as the sky fell in holding you close
how I always held close to your fear

remembering you running soft through the night
you were bigger and brighter and whiter than the snow
you screamed at the make-believe
screamed at the sky
and you finally found all your courage
to let it all go

remembering you falling into my arms
crying for the death of your heart
you were stone white, so delicate
lost in the cold
you were always so lost in the dark

remembering you how you used to be
so drowned you were angels so much more
than everything
hold me for the last time then slip away, quietly
open my eyes but I never see anything

if only I thought of the right words
I could have held onto your heart
if only I'd thought of the right words
I wouldn't be breaking apart
all my pictures of you

looking so long at these pictures of you
never hold onto your heart
looking so long for the words to be true
but always just breaking apart
my pictures of you

there was nothing in the world that I ever wanted more
than to feel you deep in my heart
there was nothing in the world that I ever wanted more than to never feel the breaking apart
of my pictures of you

]]> ~ap0str03 http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/18867672/ http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/18867672/ Mon, 16 Jun 2008 06:50:22 PDT Switchfoot

welcome to the planet
welcome to existence
everyone's here
everyone's here
everybody's watching you now
everybody waits for you now
what happens next
what happens next....

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
like today never happened
today never happened before

welcome to the fallout
welcome to resistance
the tension is here
the tension is here
between who you are and who you could be
between how it is and how it should be

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
like today never happened
today never happened

maybe redemption has stories to tell
maybe forgiveness is found where you fell
where can you run to escape from yourself
where you gonna go
where you gonna go
salvation is here

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you lift yourself up off the floow
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
like today never happened
today never happened
today never happened
today never happened before

]]> ~ap0str03 http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/18836025/ http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/18836025/ Sat, 14 Jun 2008 10:25:08 PDT Bonnie Raitt

turn down the light
turn down the bed
turn down these voices
inside my head

lay down with me
tell me no lies
just hold me close
don't patronize
don't patronize

cuz I can't make you love me
if you don't
you can't make your heart feel
something it won't

here in the dark
in these final hours
I will lay down my heart
and feel the power
but you won't
no, you won't
I can't make you love me
if you don't

I close my eyes
so I don't see
the love you don't feel
when you're holding me

morning will come
I'll do what's right
just hold me til then
give up this fight

and I will give up this fight

cuz I can't make you love me
if you don't
you can't make your heart feel
something it won't

here in the dark
in these final hours
when I lay down my heart
and feel the power
but you won't
I can't make you love me
if you don't

]]> ~ap0str03 http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/18610838/ http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/18610838/ Sun, 01 Jun 2008 13:24:59 PDT my dog won't bite if you sit real still
I got the anti-christ in the kitchen yelling at me again
yeah I can hear it

was saved again by the garbage truck
I got something to say you know but nothing comes
yes I know what you think of me you never shut up
yeah I can hear it

but what if I'm a mermaid in these jeans of his
with her name still on it hey
but I don't care cuz sometimes I said sometimes
I hear my voice and it's been
here
silent all these years

so you found a girl who thinks really deep thoughts
what's so amazing about really deep thoughts
boy, you'd best pray that I bleed real soon
how's that thought for ya

my scream got lost in a paper cup
think there's a heaven where some screams have gone
I got 25 bucks and a cracker do you think it's enough
to get us there cuz

what if I'm a mermaid in these jeans of his
with her name still on them hey but
I don't care cuz sometimes I said sometimes
I hear my voice and it's been
here
silent all these

years go by will I still be waiting
for somebody else to understand
years go by as I'm stripped of my beauty
and the orange clouds raining in my head

years go by will I choke on my tears
til finally there is nothing left
one more casualty you know it
too easy, easy easy

well I love the way you communicate
your eyes focus on my funny mouth shape
I hear what you think of me now but baby don't look up
the sky is falling

your mother shows up in a nasty dress
and it's your turn now to stand where I stand
and everybody looking at you, here take hold of my hand
yeah I can hear them

but what if I'm a mermaid in these jeans of yours
with her name still on them hey but I don't care
cuz sometimes I said sometime I hear my voice
I heal my voice
I heal my voice
and it's been here
silent all these years
I've been
here
silent all these years
silent all these
silent all these years

tori amos

]]> ~ap0str03 http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/18574606/ http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/18574606/ Fri, 30 May 2008 10:19:15 PDT foo fighters - I'd like to think this is Dave's one and only public response to the death of Kurt Cobain

a heart of gold but it lost its pride
beautiful veins and bloodshot eyes
I've seen your face in another light
why'd you have to go and let it die

why'd you have to go and let it die
why'd you have to go and let it die
in too deep and out of time
why'd you have to go and let it die

a simple man and his blushing bride
intraveneous intertwined
heart's gone cold your hands were tied
why'd you have to go and let it die

why'd you have to go and let it die
why'd you have to go and let it die
in too deep and out of time
why'd you have to go and let it die

do you ever think of me
you're so considerate
did you ever think of me
oh, so considerate

in too deep and lost in time
why'd you have to go and let it die
beautiful veins and bloodshot eyes
why'd you have to go and let it die

hearts gone cold and hands are tied
why'd you have to go and let it die
why'd you have to go and let it die

do you ever think of me
you're so considerate
did you ever think of me
oh, so considerate

in too deep and lost in time
why'd you have to go and let it die
beautiful veins and bloodshot eyes
why'd you have to go and let it die

hearts gone cold and hands are tied
why'd you have to go and let it die
why'd you have to go and let this die
why'd you have to go and let this die
why'd you have to go and let this die
why'd you have to go and let this die
why'd you have to go and let itdie

]]> ~ap0str03 http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/18505414/ http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/18505414/ Mon, 26 May 2008 05:41:06 PDT Tori Amos

On my way up north
up on the Ventura I
put back the hood
and I was talking to you
and I knew that it would be
a life long thing but I didn't
know that we
we could break a silver lining

and I'm so sad
like a good book I can't put
this day back
this sorta fairy tale with you
this sorta fairy tale with you

things you said that day
up on the 101
the girl come undone
I tried to downplay it with a
bet about us
you said you'd take it as
long as I could
I could not erase it

and I'm so sad
like a good book I can't put this
day back
this sorta fairy tale with you
this sorta fairy tale with you

and I ride alongside
and I rode alongside
and I rode alongside you then
and I rode alongside
til you lost me there
in the open road
and I rode alongside
til the honey spread itself so thin
for me to break to your bread
for me to take your word
I had to steal it

way up north I took my day
all in all it was a pretty nice day
I put the hood right back where
you could taste heaven perfectly
feel out the summer breeze
didn't know when we'd be back and I
I don't-didn't think we'd end up like

and I'm so sad
like a good book I can't put this
day back
this sorta fairy tale with you
this sorta fairy tale with you
I could pick back up whenever I feel
this sorta fairy tale with you

[link]

]]> ~ap0str03 http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/18398679/ http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/18398679/ Mon, 19 May 2008 12:51:17 PDT Don Henley

I got the call today that I didn't wanna hear
but I knew that it would come
an old, true friend of ours was talkin on the phone
she said you'd found someone
and I thought of all the bad luck
and the struggles we went through
how I lost me
and you lost you
what are all these voices outside love's open door
they just throw off our contentment
and beg for something more

but I'm learning to live without you now
but I miss you sometimes
the more I know
the less I understand
all the things I thought I knew
I'm learning again

I been trying to get down
to the heart of the matter
but my will gets weak
and my thoughts seem to scatter
but I think it's about
forgiveness
forgiveness
even if
even if
you don't love me anymore

oh these times are so uncertain
there's a yearning undefined
and people filled with rage
we all need a tenderness
how can love survive
in such a graceless age
the trust and self assurance
that lead to happiness
they're the very things
we kill, I guess
pride and competition
cannot fill these empty arms
and the work I put between us
you know it doesn't keep me warm

I'm learning to live without you now
but I miss you baby
the more I know
the less I understand
all the things I thought I figured out
I have to learn again

I been trying to get down
to the heart of the matter
but everything changes
and my friends seem to scatter
but I think it's about
forgiveness
forgiveness
even if, even if, you don't love me anymore

there are people in your life
who come and gone
they let you down
you know they hurt your pride
you better put it all behind you baby
cuz life goes on
you keep carrying that anger
it'll eat you up inside, baby

I been trying to get down
to the heart of the matter
but my will gets weak
and my thoughts seem to scatter
but I think it's about
forgiveness
forgiveness
even if, even if
you don't love me

I been trying to get down
to the heart of the matter
because the flesh will get weak
and the ashes will scatter so I'm thinking about
forgiveness
forgiveness
even if, even if you don't love me

even if you don't love me anymore

]]> ~ap0str03 http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/18345792/ http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/18345792/ Fri, 16 May 2008 02:21:54 PDT Muse - sometimes you just need to hear these words.

follow through
make your dreams come true
don't give up the fight
you will be alright
cuz there's no one like you
in the universe

don't be afraid
what your mind conceives
you should make a stand
stand for what you believe
and tonight we can truly say
together we're invincible

during the struggle they will pull us down
but please please let's use this chance to turn things around
and tonight we can truly say together we're invincible

do it on your own
makes no difference to me
what you leave behind
what you choose to be
and whatever they say
your soul's unbreakable

during this struggle they will pull us down
but please please let's use this chance to turn things around
and tonight we can truly say together we're invincible

together we're invincible

during the struggle they will pull us down
please please let's use this chance to turn things around
and tonight we can truly say together we're invincible

together we're invincible

]]> ~ap0str03 http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/18253012/ http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/18253012/ Sat, 10 May 2008 06:59:42 PDT Muse

I'm falling down
and fifteen thousand people scream
they were all begging for your dream

I'm falling down
five thousand houses burning down, yeah
no one is gonna save this town, no

too late, I already found what I was looking for
you know it wasn't here, no, it wasn't here

I was calling your name
but you would never hear me sing
you wouldn't let me begin

so I'm crawling away
cuz you broke my heart in two
no I will not forget you

too late, I already found what I was looking for
you know it wasn't you, no, it wasn't you, no

falling away
you never set me free
no I could not forget you

falling down
five thousand houses burning down
no one is gonna save this town

too late, I already found what I was looking for
you know it wasn't you, no, it wasn't you, no

falling down
now the world is upside down
I'm heading straight for the clouds

]]> ~ap0str03 http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/18075994/ http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/18075994/ Mon, 28 Apr 2008 18:27:47 PDT pass it on it's almost out
we're so creative so much more
we're high above but on the floor

it's not a habit it's cool I feel alive
if you don't have it you're on the other side

the deeper you stick it in your vein
the deeper the thoughts there's no more pain
I'm in heaven I'm a god I'm every where
I feel so hot

it's not a habit it's cool I feel alive
if you don't have it you're on the other side
I'm not an addict...maybe that's a lie

it's over now I'm cold, alone
I'm just a person on my own
nothing means a thing to me
oh nothing means a thing to me

it's not a habit it's cool I feel alive
if you don't have it you're on the other side
I'm not an addict...maybe that's a lie

free me leave me
watch me as I'm going down and
free me see me
look at me I'm falling and I'm falling

it is not a habit it is cool I feel I feel
it is not a habit it is cool I feel

it's not a habit it's cool I feel alive
if you don't have it you're on the other side
I'm not an addict...maybe that's a lie

I'm not an addict
I'm not an addict
I'm not an addict

]]> ~ap0str03 http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/18069891/ http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/18069891/ Mon, 28 Apr 2008 12:08:11 PDT argh it's Hellgate

Can someone please tell me how a lowly 5th level evoker with admittedly badass equip (the hand with teeth thingy, a legendary, and a wasp gun (the kind that stuns the baddies) that's level 14. So the equip isn't bad at all. I have level 2 firestorm, and that purply thing, and I throw everything I damnwell have at Lord Gaysllor or wtf-ever he's calling himself these days...the bad dog quest. Anyway, he ignores my stun thingy, snarls at all the baddage I throw at him, comes over and smacks me once and I'm down. I have more freaking headstones in the Covent Garden Tunnels than they have zombies, chrissake! And don't tell me it's the equip cuz I tried with a wasp blaster as well. Problem is that magic takes a while to work, and by the time it does, you're already down and dead and he goes off to lick his wounds and heal. Bastard. Sniff.

I have a 15th level BladeMaster who looked at this bag of bones and laughed, but it's like rock/paper/scissors: 2 well placed swords will hack and slash a skeleton to nothing, whereas magic just seems to make it angry.

This is my second evoker so I know I've beaten this twig, but that was way back in the just-after-beta days and I seriously don't remember him being such a mutha.

So yeah. Any Hellgaters out there...helllllp! Oh and look me up. My evoker's name is 'Whosyerdaddynow' but sadly, isn't living up to it at present.

]]> ~ap0str03 http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/17999130/ http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/17999130/ Wed, 23 Apr 2008 21:10:30 PDT Muse

far away
this ship is taking me far away
far away from the memories
of the people who care if I live or die

starlight
I will be chasing the starlight
til the end of my life
I don't know if it's worth it anymore

hold you in my arms
I just wanted to hold
you in my arms

my life
you electrify my life
let's conspire to re-ignite
all the souls that would die just to feel alive

I'll never let you go
if you promise not to fade away
never fade away

our hopes and expectations
black holes and revelations
our hopes and expectations
black holes and revelations

hold you in my arms
I just wanted to hold
you in my arms

far away
this ship is taking me far away
far away from the memories
of the people who care if I live or die

I'll never let you go
if you promise not to fade away
never fade away

our hopes and expectations
black holes and revelations
our hopes and expectations
black holes and revelations

hold you in my arms
I just wanted to hold
you in my arms
I just wanted to hold

]]> ~ap0str03 http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/17906822/ http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/17906822/ Fri, 18 Apr 2008 05:16:34 PDT U2

if you twist and turn away
if you tear yourself in two again
if I could, yes I would
if I could I would
let it go

surrender, dislocate

if I could throw this lifeless lifeline to the wind
leave this heart of clay
see you walk, walk away
into the night and through the rain
into the half light and through the flame

if I could through myself
set your spirit free
I'd lead your heart away
see you break, break away
into the light and to the day

so let it go
and so to fade away
to let go
and so fade away
I'm wide awake
I'm wide awake
I'm wide awake
I'm not sleeping

if you should ask then maybe
they'll tell you what I would say
true colours fly in blue and black
through silken sky and burning flack
colours clash, collide in bloodshot eyes

if I could you know I would
if I could I would let it go
this desperation
dislocation
separation
condemnation
revelation
in temptation
isolation
desolation
let it go
and so fade away
to let it go
and so fade away
to let it go
and so to fade away

I'm wide awake
I'm wide awake
wide awake
I'm not sleeping.

]]> ~ap0str03 http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/17870323/ http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/17870323/ Tue, 15 Apr 2008 18:58:29 PDT NIN, son

I pushed a button and elected him to office and uh
he pushed a button and they dropped the bomb
you pushed a button and could watch it on the television
those mother fuckers didn't last too long

huh huh

I'm sick of hearing of the haves and the have nots
have some personal accountability
the problem with the way that we been doing things is
the more I let you have the less that I'll be keeping for me

well I used to stand for something
now I'm on my hands and knees
trading in my god for this one
who signs his name with a capital G

don't give a shit about the temperature in Guatemala
don't really see what all the fuss is about
ain't gonna worry bout no future generations and uh
I'm sure somebody gonna figure it out

don't try to tell me that some power can corrupt a person
you haven't had enough to know what it's like
you're only angry cuz you wish you were in my position
now nod your head because you know that I'm right

oh right

well I used to stand for somethin
but forgot what that could be
there's a lot of me inside you
maybe you're afraid to see

well I used to stand for somethin
now I'm on my hands and knees
trading in my god for this one
and he signs his name with a capital G

well I used to stand for something
but forgot what that could be
there's a lot of me inside you
maybe you're afraid to see

well I used to stand for something
now I'm on my hands and knees
trading in my god for this one
and he signs his name with a capital G

]]> ~ap0str03 http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/17848792/ http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/17848792/ Mon, 14 Apr 2008 13:18:50 PDT
Finally I get out to the car and there is Dad, Sherry and an old man. Sherry and the man are in the back with the seat back, covered in blankets, sleeping, and the car was warm but covered in ice from the short time I'd been in the store. Dad was sleepy, and went to put the car in reverse, and didn't take it out, and we were going into the whiteness of the night in reverse, then suddenly this sharp drop, and a crack, and we're in a pond...

and I know I know how to get out, but I can't remember in my panic, and the water has covered up the sleeping sherry and the old man in the back, and I thought, I can't drown in a pond in Ireland, I just can't, this isn't how it's supposed to happen and I could feel the cold cold water, and thought, this is how they felt on the Titanic. Then I thought, it must be a dream...wake up, wake up, it's not real, and the water was covering my face, the cold cold water, stealing my thoughts, and I would say aloud, wake up, but I didn't, so I knew it to be real because I couldn't remember going to sleep. Sherry and the old man would die in their sleep but Dad and I would die awake, knowing the freezing water was going to remain until we had to breathe, then invade our lungs and kill us both and I reached out to grasp him, clutch him so that we wouldn't die alone.

]]> ~ap0str03 http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/17840597/ http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/17840597/ Sun, 13 Apr 2008 22:20:57 PDT How I love this band...one of the true gems of the 80's. Vince Clark, cynnical keyboardist from Depeche Mode and before joining Erasure, and Alison Moyet's deep, earthy vocals and oh, such emotion. They made 2 albums together, then went their separate ways, and I find myself, as per usual, loving the b sides.

When he moves I watch him from behind
he turns and laughter flickers in his eyes
intent and direct when he speaks, I watch his lips

when he drives I love to watch his hands
white smooth almost feminine almost American
I have to watch him

in his face age ascends on youth
exaggeration on the truth
he caught me looking once but soon his eyes forgot
and everything he seems to do
reflects just another shade of blue
I saw him searching into you and ached a while

I watch his lips caress the glass
his fingers stroke its stem past
to lift a cigarette at last, he dries his eyes

from the shadow by the stair
I watch as he weeps unaware
that I'm in awe of his despair

in his face age ascends on youth
exaggeration on the truth
he caught me looking once but soon his eyes forgot
and everything he seems to do
reflects just another shade of blue
I saw him searching into you and ached awhile

when he moves I watch him from behind
he turns and laughter flickers in his eyes
intent and direct when he speaks, I watch his lips

when he drives I love to watch his hands
white smooth almost feminine almost American
I have to watch him

in his face age ascends on youth
exaggeration on the truth
he caught me looking once but soon his eyes forgot
and everything he seems to do
reflects just another shade of blue
I saw him searching into you and ached a while...

]]> ~ap0str03 http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/17807018/ http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/17807018/ Sat, 12 Apr 2008 05:08:22 PDT The Killers

I'm on the corner of Main Street
just tryin to it keep in line
you say you wanna move on and
you say I'm fallin behind

can you read my mind
can you read my mind

I never really gave up on
breakin out of this two-star town
I got the green light
I got a little fight
I'm gonna turn this thing around

can you read my mind
can you read my mind

the good old days the honest man
the restless heart the promised land
the subtle kiss that no one sees
the broken wrist the big trapeze

oh I don't mind if you don't mind
cuz I don't shine if you don't shine
before you go can you read my mind

it's funny how you just break down
waitin on some sign
I pull up to the front of your driveway
with magic soakin my spine

can you read my mind
can you read my mind

teenage queen a loaded gun
a drop dead dream the Chosen One
a southern drawl in a world of sin
a city wall and a trampoline

oh I don't mind if you don't mind
cuz I don't shine if you don't shine
before you jump
tell me what you find

when you read my mind

slippin in my faith until I fall
you never returned that call
woman open the door don't let it sting
I wanna breathe that fire again

she said I don't mind if you don't mind
cuz I don't shine if you don't shine
put your back on me
oh put your back on me
oh put your back on me

the stars are blazing like rebel diamonds
cut out of the sun
when you read my mind

]]> ~ap0str03 http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/17787264/ http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/17787264/ Thu, 10 Apr 2008 21:10:46 PDT U2...this song is comfort food for my soul.

is it getting better
or do you feel the same?
will it make it easier on you now
you got someone to blame

you said, one love, one life
when it's one need in the night
one love, we get to share it
leaves you baby if you don't care for it

did I disappoint you
leave a bad taste in your mouth?
you act like you never had love
you want me to go without

is it too late tonight
to drag the past out into the light?
we're one but we're not the same
we need to carry each other, carry each other

one.....

have you come here for forgiveness
have you come to raise the dead?
have you come here to play Jesus
to the lepers in your bed

did I ask too much
more than a lot?
you gave me nothing
now it's all I've got
we're one but we're not the same
well we hurt each other and we'll do it again

you've said, love is the temple, love the higher law
love is the temple, love the higher law
you asked me to enter, but then you made me crawl
and I can't be holding on to what you've got
when all you've got is hurt

one love one blood one life
you got to do what you should
one life with each other
sisters, brothers

one life but we're not the same
we got to carry each other, carry each other

one
one

]]> ~ap0str03 http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/17752183/ http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/17752183/ Tue, 08 Apr 2008 17:34:30 PDT Aerosmith

every time that I look in the mirror
all these lines in my face gettin clearer
the past is gone
it went by like dusk to dawn
isn't that the way
everybody's got their dues in life to pay

I know nobody knows
where it comes and where it goes
I know it's everybody's sin
you gotta lose to know how to win

half my life's in books written pages
live and learn from fools and from sages
you know it's true
all the feelings
come back to you

sing with me sing for year
sing for the laughter and sing for the tear
sing with me if it's just for today
maybe tomorrow the good lord will take you away

sing with me sing for the year
sing for the laughter and sing for the tear
sing with me if it's just for today
maybe tomorrow the good lord will take you away

dream on dream on dream on
dream until your dream come true
dream on dream on dream on
dream until your dream come true

dream on dream on dream on dream on
dream on dream on dream on, ahhhhh

sing with me sing for the year
sing for the laughter and sing for the tear
sing with me if it's just for today
maybe tomorrow the good lord'll take you away

sing with me sing for the year
sing for the laughter and sing for the tear
sing with me if it's just for today
maybe tomorrow the good lord'll take you away

]]> ~ap0str03 http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/17688614/ http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/17688614/ Fri, 04 Apr 2008 19:01:08 PDT Staind

I know I've been mistaken
but just give me a break and see the
changes that I've made
I've got some imperfections
but how can you collect them all and
throw them in my face

but you always find a way
to keep me right here waiting
you'll always find the words to say
to keep me right here waiting
and if you chose to walk away
I'd still be right here waiting
searching for the things to say
to keep you right here waiting

I hope you're not intending
to be so condescending
it's as much as I can take
and you're so independent
you just refuse to bend
so I keep bending til I break

but you always find a way
to keep me right here waiting
always find the words to say
to keep me right here waiting
and if you chose to walk away
I'd still be right here waiting
searching for the things to say
to keep you right here waiting

I've made a commitment
I'm willing to bleed for you
I needed fulfillment
I've found what I need in you

why can't you just forgive me
I don't want to relive all
the mistakes I've made along the way

but I always find a way
to keep you right here waiting
I always find the words to say
to keep you right here waiting

but you always find a way
to keep me right here waiting
you always find the words to say
to keep me right here waiting
if I chose to walk away
would you be right here waiting
searching for the things to say
to keep me right here waiting

]]> ~ap0str03 http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/17643655/ http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/17643655/ Tue, 01 Apr 2008 23:05:32 PDT Mighty Mighty Bosstones

have you ever been close to tragedy
or been close to folks who have
have you ever felt the pain so powerful
so heavy you collapse

no?
well...

I've never had to knock on wood
but I know someone who has
which makes me wonder if I could
which makes me wonder if I

never had to knock on wood
and I'm glad I haven't yet
because I'm sure it isn't good
that's the impression that I get

have you ever had the odds that look so high
you need the strength most don't possess
or has it ever come down to do or die
you got to rise above the rest

no?
well....

I've never had to knock on wood
but I know someone who has
which makes me wonder if I could
it makes me wonder if I

never had to know on wood
and I'm glad I haven't yet
because I'm sure it isn't good
that's the impression that I get

I'm not a coward I've just never been tested
I'd like to think that if I was I would pass
look at the tested I think there but for the grace go I
might be a coward I'm afraid of what I might find out

never had to knock on wood
but know someone who has
which makes me wonder if I could
it makes me wonder if I

never had to knock on wood
and I'm glad I haven't yet
because I'm sure it isn't good
that's the impression that I get

never had to...I'd better knock on wood
cuz I know someone who has
it makes me wonder if I
never had to, I'd better knock on wood
cuz I'm sure it isn't good
and I'm glad I haven't yet
that's the impression that I get.

]]> ~ap0str03 http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/17602870/ http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/17602870/ Mon, 31 Mar 2008 09:07:55 PDT Sarah MacLaughlan

hey your glass is empty
it's a hell of a long way home
why don't you let me take you
it's no good to go alone

I never would have opened up
but you seem so real to me
and after all the bullshit I've heard
it's refreshing not to see
that I don't have to pretend
she doesn't expect it from me

so don't tell me I
haven't been good to you
don't tell me I
have never been there for you
just tell me why
nothing is good enough

hey little girl would you like some candy
your mama said it's okay
the door is open come on outside
no I can't come out today
it's not the wind that cracked your shoulder
and threw you to the ground
who's there that makes you so afraid
you're shaking to the bone
you know I don't understand
you deserve so much more than this

so don't tell me why
he's never been good to you
don't tell me why
he's never been there for you
don't you know that why
is simply not good enough

oh so just let me try
and I will be good to you
just let me try
and I will be there for you
I'll show you why
you're so much more than
good enough

oh so just let me try
and I will be good to you
just let me try
and I will be there for you
I'll show you why
you're so much more than
good enough

]]> ~ap0str03 http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/17552359/ http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/17552359/ Fri, 28 Mar 2008 05:49:09 PDT the fantasies in morning rose
forbidden fruit, hidden eyes
courtesies that I despise in me
take a ride, take a shot now

cuz nobody loves me, it's true
not like you do

covered by the blind belief
that fantasies of sinful screams
bear the facts assume the dye
end the vows no need to lie enjoy
take a ride, take a shot now

cuz nobody loves me, it's true
not like you do

am I what and why
cuz all I have left
is the memories of yesterday
oh the sour times
cuz nobody loves me, it's true
not like you do

after time the bitter taste
of innocent's descent or race
scattered seeds, buried lives
mysteries of our disguise revolve
circumstance will decide

cuz nobody loves me, it's true
not like you do

cuz nobody loves me, it's true
not like you

nobody loves me, it's true
not like you....do

]]> ~ap0str03 http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/17484186/ http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/17484186/ Sun, 23 Mar 2008 23:04:50 PDT I seem to be in an Alanis frame of mind lately. But to be honest, she had me at the minor keys and cellos. Mmmmm, cellos

Like anyone would be
I am flattered by your fascination with me
like any hot blooded woman
I have simply wanted an object to crave

but you
you're not allowed
you're uninvited
an unfortunate slight

must be strangely exciting
to watch the stoic squirm
must be someone heart telling
to shepherd meet shepherd

but you
you're not allowed
you're uninvited
an unfortunate slight

like any uncharted territory
I must seem greatly intriguing
you speak of my love like
you have experienced love like mine before

but this
is not allowed
you're uninvited
an unfortunate slight

I don't think you unworthy
I need a moment to deliberate

]]> ~ap0str03 http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/17440809/ http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/17440809/ Fri, 21 Mar 2008 10:46:30 PDT my sweater's on backwards and inside out
and you say how appropriate
I don't want to dissect everything today
I don't mean to pick you apart you see but I
can't help it

there I go jumping before the gunshot has gone off
slap me with a splintered ruler
and it would knock me to the floor if I wasn't there already
if only I could hunt the hunter

and all I really want is some patience
a way to calm the angry voice
and all I really want is some deliverance
oh how

do I wear you out
you must wonder why I'm relentless
and all strung out
I'm consumed by the chill of solitary

I'm like Estella
I like to reel it in and then spit it out
and I'm frustrated by your apathy

and I am frightened by the corrupted ways of this land
if only I could meet the Maker
and I am fascinated by the spiritual man
I'm humbled by his humble nature

what I wouldn't give to find a soulmate
someone else to catch this drift
and what I wouldn't give to meet a kindred
ah how

enough about me, let's talk about you for a minute
enough about you, let's talk about life for a while
the conflicts, the craziness and the sound of pretenses
falling all around...all around

why are you so petrified of silence
here can you handle this?

did you think about your bills, your ex, your deadlines
or when you think you're gonna die
or did you long for the next distraction

and all I need now is intellectual intercourse
a soul to dig the hole much deeper
and I have no concept of time other than it is flying
if only I could kill the killer

all I really want is some peace now
a place to find a common ground
and all I really want is a wavelength

and all I really want is some comfort
a way to get my hands untied
and all I really want is some justice

]]> ~ap0str03 http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/17401123/ http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/17401123/ Tue, 18 Mar 2008 19:20:12 PDT "Death's a fierce meadowlark but to die having made
Something more equal to centuries
Than muscle and bone, is mostly to shed weakness.
The mountains are dead stone, the people
Admire or hate their stature, their insolent quietness,
The mountains are not softened or troubled
And a few dead men's thoughts have the same temper."
-Louie Lamour

When I walk beside her
I am the better man
when I look to leave her
I always stagger back again.

once I built an ivory tower
so I could worship from above
when I climbed down to be set free
she took me in again

there's a big, a big hard sun
beatin on the big people
in the big hard world

when she comes to greet me
she is mercy at my feet
when I see her pinup charms
she just throws it back at me

once I dug an early grave
to find a better land
she just smiled and laughed at me
and took her rules back again

there's a big, a big hard sun
beatin on the big people
in the big hard world

repeat

once I stood to lose her
when I saw what I had done
bowed down and threw away the hours
of her garden and her sun

so I tried to warn her
I turned to see her weep
40 days and 40 nights
and it's still comin down on me

there's a big, a big hard sun
beatin on the big people
in the big hard world

repeat

]]> ~ap0str03 http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/17307586/ http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/17307586/ Wed, 12 Mar 2008 19:46:26 PDT Annie Proulx, who won the Pulitzer Prizepp. 191/2, p. 364

Quoyle wondering about William Ankle. "What did it mean, what your father said about the tall quiet woman. You said it about Wavy Prowse. Something your father used to say. A poem or a saying."

"Ar, that? Let's see. Used to say there was four women in every man's heart. The Maid in the Meadow, the Demon Lover, the Stouthearted Woman, the Tall and Quiet Woman It was just a thing he said. I don't know what it means. I don't know where he got it."

********

Quoyle experienced moments in all colors, uttered brilliances, paid attention to the rich sound of waves counting stones, he laughed and wept, noticed sunsets, heard music in rain, said I do. A row of shining hubcaps on sticks appeared in the front yard of the Burke's house. A wedding present from the bride's father.
For if Jack Buggit could escape from the pickle jar, if a bird with a broken neck could fly away, what else might be possible? Water may be older than light, diamonds crack in hot goat's blood, mountaintops give off cold fire, forests appear in mid-ocean, it may happen that a crab is caught with the shadow of a hand on its back, that the wind be imprisoned in a bit of knotted string. And it may be that love sometimes occurs without pain or misery.

]]> ~ap0str03 http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/17161103/ http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/17161103/ Mon, 03 Mar 2008 08:21:12 PST my new favorite song

If I had my own world
I'd fill it with wealth and desire
The glorious past to admire
And voices of kids out walking,
Dogs, birds, planes, cleanest cars

If I had my own world
I'd love it for all that's inside it
There'd be no more wars, death or riots
There'd be no more police, packed-parking lots,
Guns, bombs sounding off,

If I had my own world
I'd build you an empire
From here to the far lands
To spread love like violence

If I had my own world
I'd build you an empire
From here to the far lands
To spread love like violence

Let me feel you, carry you higher
Watch your words spread hope like fire
Secret crowds rise up and gather
Hear your voices sing back louder

If I had my own world
I'd show you the life that's inside it
The way that it glows when you find it
The way it survives with its families,
Friends or its enemies

Let's make this a new world
I swear you can go if you want to
I know that you have that within you
Inventing the first clean and usable,
God's greatest miracle

If I had my own world
I'd build you an empire
From here to the far lands
To spread love like violence

If I had my own world
I'd build you an empire
From here to the far lands
To spread love like violence

Let me feel you, carry you higher
Watch your words spread hope like fire
Secret crowds rise up and gather
Hear your voices sing back louder

Let me feel you carry you higher
Watch your words spread hope like fire
Secret crowds rise up and gather
Hear your voices sing back louder

Let me feel you carry you higher
Watch your words spread hope like fire
Secret crowds rise up and gather
Hear your voices sing back louder

Let me feel you carry you higher
Watch your words spread hope like fire
Secret crowds rise up and gather
Hear your voices sing back louder

]]> ~ap0str03 http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/17113178/ http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/17113178/ Fri, 29 Feb 2008 06:27:56 PST
]]> ~ap0str03 http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/17064366/ http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/17064366/ Mon, 25 Feb 2008 19:48:32 PST Hope, release, and spring.

blackbird singing in the dead of night
take these broken wings and learn to fly
all your life
you were only waiting for this moment to arise

blackbird singing in the dead of night
take these sunken eyes and learn to see
all your life
you were only waiting for this moment to be free

blackbird fly
blackbird fly
into the light of the dark black night

blackbird fly
blackbird fly
into the light of the dark black night

blackbird singing in the dead of night
take these broken wings and learn to fly
all your life
you were only waiting for this moment to arrive
you were only waiting for this moment to arrive
you were only waiting for this moment to arrive

]]> ~ap0str03 http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/16971970/ http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/16971970/ Wed, 20 Feb 2008 04:41:49 PST this is a new one to me, found when I was digging for seeing things. sort of a loud lullabye, sort of a dark hymn

shhhhh
wake me when the day breaks
show me how the sun shines
tell me bout your heartbreak
who could be so unkind

do you dream to touch me
and smile down deep inside
or could you just kill me
it's hard to make up your mind sometimes

my angels my devils the thorn in my pride
my angels my devils the thorn in my pride

are you wanting inspiration
you spill your secrets on me
then you tell me with a whisper
of things I would never be

do you hear me breathing
does it make you wanna scream
did you ever like a bad dream
yeah sometimes life is obscene

my angels my devils the thorn in my pride
my angels my devils the thorn in my pride
my angels my devils the thorn in my pride
my angels my devils the thorn in my pride

lover cover me with your sleep
let your love light shine, let it shine
lover cover me with a good dream
let your love light shine

all I wanna know
do you ever wanna let it shine
wanna let it shine
your love light, your love light
lover cover me with your sleep
let your love light shine let it shine
lover cover me with your dreams
let your love light shine let it shine

]]> ~ap0str03 http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/16969390/ http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/16969390/ Tue, 19 Feb 2008 21:03:34 PST holy frick, do I love this song. I just rediscovered it after years of living in darkness. How it builds is so heartbreaking and sensual. Gah

I find it hard to shed a tear
you brought it on yourself my dear
and wrong yes I may be
don't leave the light on for me
cause I ain't coming home
it hurts me baby to be alone
yes it hurts me baby

a hundred years will never ease
hearing things I won't believe
I saw it with my own two eyes
all the pain I can't hide
and this pain starts in my heart
and this love tears us apart
you won't find me bent down on my knees
ain't bending over backwards baby
not to please

cause I'm seeing things for the first time
I'm seeing things for the first time
oh I'm seeing things for the first time
in my life, in my life...yeah.

I used to dream
of better days that never came
sorry ain't nothin to me
I'm gone and that's the way it must be
so please I've done my time
loving you is such a crime
you won't find me down on, on my knees..oh no no no
won't find me over backwards baby
just to please...oh yeah

cause I'm seein things for the first time
I'm seeing things for the first time
seeing things for the first time
oh I'm seeing things for the first time
yeah, seeing things for the first time
in my life, in my life
oh yeah

]]> ~ap0str03 http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/16934920/ http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/16934920/ Sun, 17 Feb 2008 19:10:33 PST
if I had to I would put myself right beside you
so let me ask
would you like that
would you like that

and I don't mind
if I say this love is the last time
so let me ask
do you like that
do you like that

no

something's getting in the way
something's just about to break
I will try to find my place
in the diary of Jane

so tell me how it should be

try to find out what makes you tick
as I like down
sore and sick
do you like that

there's a fine line
between love and hate
and I don't mind
just let me say
that I like that

something's getting in the way
something's just about to break
I will try to find my place
in the diary of Jane

as I burn another page
as I look the other way
I still try to find my place
in the diary of Jane
so tell me how it should be

desperate I will crawl
waiting for so long
no love, there is no love
die for anyone
what have I become

something's getting in the way
something's just about to break
I will try to find my place
in the diary of Jane
as I burn another page
as I look the other way
I will try to find my place
in the diary of Jane

]]> ~ap0str03 http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/16859087/ http://ap0str03.deviantart.com/journal/16859087/ Wed, 13 Feb 2008 05:40:02 PST to live your life as your own personal saviour, right now, you don't have to climb every mountain, just this one. You don't have to make every decision, only this decision. The worst part is just before it's made; once made, if right, you will find relief and joy

climbing up on Solsbury Hill
I could see the city light
wind was blowin time stood still
eagle flew out of the night

he was something to observe
came in close I heard a voice
standing stretching every note
I had to listen, had no choice

I did not believe the information
just had to trust imagination
my heart going boom boom boom
Son, he said, grab your things
I've come take you home.

eh don't quit

to keep in silence I resigned
my friends would think I was a nut
turning water into wine
open doors would soon be shut

so I went from day to day
all my life was in a rut
til I thought of what I'd say
which connection I should cut

I was feeling part of the scenery
I walked right out of the machinery
my heart going boom boom boom
hey he said, grab your things
I've come to take you home

eh back home

in illusion's bitter net
I'm never where I wanna be
and liberty she pirouette
when I think that I am free

watched by empty silouettes
who close their eyes but still can see
no one taught them etiquette
I will show another me

today I don't need a replacement
I'll tell them what the smile on my face meant
my heart going boom boom boom
hey, I said, you can keep my things
they've come to take me home

]]> ~ap0str03