http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:arina800&section=today deviantART RSS for by:arina800 en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Mon, 21 Dec 2009 12:38:23 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://arina800.deviantart.com/journal/12749670/ http://arina800.deviantart.com/journal/12749670/ Fri, 27 Apr 2007 00:38:42 PDT
]]> ~arina800 http://arina800.deviantart.com/journal/9154790/ http://arina800.deviantart.com/journal/9154790/ Fri, 23 Jun 2006 01:31:22 PDT I wish it would rain again, its been fairly dry for several days and I feel so much more grounded and purposeful when it rains, like when its dry for too long I feel like I'm so light I'll fly away, the air loses its refreshing dampness almost.
I want to stay in town again, to ride my japanese made thirty year old cruiser around the street in the wee hours of the sandpoint morning. I haven't seen dew yet this year as I've taken to sleeping VERY late.
Rain's catharthic, dunno, I was talking to kathryn a few days ago and the only way I could describe rain was that it felt like my entire body was crying and how liberating that felt for me as I swear my tear ducts were removed or disabled or something of the sort. I'm not unemotional, I've just been trained that my emotions will probably be used against me if I let them show through, or worse yet, cause someone to worry or ask what's wrong.
I want to stay up all night long and stargaze, but I have work tommorow and I don't know if I could deal with being exhausted and emotinally upside down, inside out, backwards at the same time.
I suppose I'll go to sleep after this CD ends. or maybe not, maybe I'll pick up a paintbrush for the first time in a long while, perhaps I'll pick up some wayward clippings and peice them together. or perhaps this CD will never end, it feels like summer, because this is what summer is, my toes slightly chilly, my hads warm because of the tea I'm drinking, headphones in, bathed in cold bluish computer light until I go lay on my deck and think about morning and sun and people and anxious waiting for something that never happens, or happens and then just barely whets my hunger for whatever the hell it is I'm wasting my time chasing for breif moments of peace.
my house is so near the highway and train tracks I'm not even bothered by the noise, its just always been there, sometimes I wonder where the people in the cars are going, why they're going there, their general life story etc. People facinate me, all of them. there's so much diversity, contradiction, experience, knowledge, wisdom, history even in just one person, I don't understand how we can't realize that and stop for just one second every day and think about it, contemplate how fucking complex we are, how much potential we have, how, jesus, I don't even know how to express the enormity of how that concept could effect us.
I get too stuck in the moment, the fun I could be having, the experiences, people, places I could know, I spend too much of my time wanting, chasing those things and not realizing that I'm having experiences, meeting people, going places, I never slow down long enough to digest all of what I've seen, I'm so intent on taking in as much as I can. Quality gets lost in quantity. I might go bury my feet in the sand in a few hours and watch the sun rise. It'd be nice. I nver really do anything alone. ]]> ~arina800 http://arina800.deviantart.com/journal/8596978/ http://arina800.deviantart.com/journal/8596978/ Wed, 26 Apr 2006 21:57:57 PDT I want to design, and write and do it all because its intruging and a challenge. But will it be too much? will it be too hard? will I not be able to adjust? gah.
I feel angsty, and annoyed. Generally, I'm not in a good state.
You know that feeling right before you sneeze and all you really want for a moment is for the incredible pressure to just end, that tickling sensation just go away? I hate that, almost as much as I hate it when you fail to sneeze after all that torment. grah. ]]> ~arina800 http://arina800.deviantart.com/journal/8088074/ http://arina800.deviantart.com/journal/8088074/ Mon, 06 Mar 2006 20:16:40 PST
Hay me, entrando tu diario. Pardona me, para este. Pero, no lo siento porque tu quieres, verdadmente. A me, estoy asi asi, y me gustan hablar en espanol ahora mismo. Que divertido.

Actualmente, acabo de terminar mirar la pelicula. Casi, por los menos. La hace mi me siento feliz, y contenido, y.... muy comodo. Tu sabes.

Si solo no yo tengo ningua tarea. *llore, un pequeto* Desgracidamente, no es tan. Hay que lave los platos, y escribe el cuento para la clase de... Journalism... y muchos estudios para matematicas. Joda, (un palabra aprende para la diarios de motocicleta) por que haci asi que malo! Que lastima, pero por lo menos maestra davis es dar una examen nueva.

En mas feliz cosas... pensa de camas tibias, tea, amigos intimos, viajar, y... verano!

Amor, suerto, y dulces mes ame. xD ]]> ~arina800 http://arina800.deviantart.com/journal/7979521/ http://arina800.deviantart.com/journal/7979521/ Thu, 23 Feb 2006 09:59:52 PST ~arina800 http://arina800.deviantart.com/journal/7957340/ http://arina800.deviantart.com/journal/7957340/ Mon, 20 Feb 2006 21:15:39 PST DEAR LORD HOW CAN I BE SO PSYCHOTICALLY ECSTATIC.
So f'ed up! heheh. ]]> ~arina800 http://arina800.deviantart.com/journal/7952579/ http://arina800.deviantart.com/journal/7952579/ Mon, 20 Feb 2006 12:24:38 PST the weekend is far to short, and Isabella and Kathryn are currently asleep in my bed. we had an interesting night last night. had long involved discussions about Isaac on my bed, while looking at my art history text books, and the anatomy shit I checked out from the library. then watched cold mountain which is the single least fair movie I have ever seen in my entire life. Even Jude Law doesnt deserve that, and I despise Jude Law as an actor. went BACK to my bed, drank lots and lots of my extensive tea collection, talked about the unfairness of that movie, and life, then decided to go down to snug harbor. It's always so pretty down there, but there wasn't a moon so we just walked through the neighborhood and it was nice and really peaceful. Drinking tea of course. we discovered (well it's not really a discovery, or suprising at all) that we could probably dress a party of twelve or so for sub-zero temperatures simply with the cold weather clothing contained in my downstairs. My family NEVER throws ANYTHING away, they haven't moved in twenty years, or so, yeah, I've lived in one house my entire life, how increibly strange to think about.
I've decided I want to start painting again, and finally get my scanner fixed and reconnected. That would be very nice.
OH! other good news, I might be buying a new full suspension trek bike! well, not new actually, a few years old, from one of my dad's friends, whom I adore, she's awesome. And I'm really excited.
Wow, just looking back on what I wrote, I feel bi-polar. heh. ]]> ~arina800 http://arina800.deviantart.com/journal/7548378/ http://arina800.deviantart.com/journal/7548378/ Sun, 08 Jan 2006 19:48:10 PST Skiing was glorious, absolutely devine. The first three tracks into sam's alley were all mine, thank you very much. Most lovely. I like my new method of skiing with anyone and everyone as long as they're going the same place as me and at the same speed (basically I'm ditching anyone who isn't keeping up) which sounds alot more cold hearted and darwinian than it actually is, the fact of the matter remains that EVERYONE on the entire mountain is living by this system when the snow is fresh and the lifts are running. Life is beautiful when it's refracted through the surfaces of a water crystal. ]]> ~arina800 http://arina800.deviantart.com/journal/7492681/ http://arina800.deviantart.com/journal/7492681/ Mon, 02 Jan 2006 20:03:34 PST So, what do these new years journals consist of? resolutions? fuck that, I'll resolve to do what I need to do when I figure out what I need is. Year recap? ummmm, well, I suppose I could bitch and moan about how my year was crap, and how I hope '06 will fulfill all my wildest dreams and be the best year ever, but I don't think I feel like doing that, so I guess I'm done. ]]> ~arina800 http://arina800.deviantart.com/journal/6971051/ http://arina800.deviantart.com/journal/6971051/ Sun, 06 Nov 2005 11:46:48 PST ~arina800 http://arina800.deviantart.com/journal/6778163/ http://arina800.deviantart.com/journal/6778163/ Sat, 15 Oct 2005 20:41:55 PDT mostly i want to do something that is so challenging and satasfying that i get away from everything, escape. i want to get lost in something that's apart from myself, out of my body, away from my conciosness. i don't want to be the turkey, who's afraid to look up for fear of drowning. look up from my work, look up from my day, i'm afraid of getting to stuck in my own life if that makes any sense. i want to feel a part of something else, beyond just myself. that sounds corny and cheese filled, but it's the best i can do to express myself right now.
god i feel sorry for micheal armon. at least i know i can run again, i can't imagine there being a good chance i'd never be able to, i can't imagine going from being the single best distance runner in idaho to being crippled. i can't imagine it. i can imagine going from the best girl in sandpoint to 6th on the team, that hurt enough, but i could do it. not well and not with pleasure, but it was still an option. i'm scared of peaking as a freshman. i'm terrified of that. he acts so strong and optomistic when confronted with the press, but i wonder when he breaks down, when the fear slides past his optomistic outlook. is it when he lays awake at night, haunted by lost sucess and opportunities, in broad daylight, when he sees someone who was on the team, during physical therapy, after, before? that makes me sad, watching armon run was like watching what i felt, flawless, pure joy, effort in the end, but never work, it was never mentally tiresome. i've been thinking about him alot. don't even really know the guy, just know times and facts. he's only a junior.
i guess for me i just have to know that i can still do it and that the talent and potential are still there. but so is the injury. i also nees to be aware of that, so it never gets this bad ever again. i hate the way my bodies betrayed me.
i'm always so much better in pencil than in person. ]]> ~arina800 http://arina800.deviantart.com/journal/6777563/ http://arina800.deviantart.com/journal/6777563/ Sat, 15 Oct 2005 19:14:51 PDT when does sadness become depression? when it gets stale and you don't know your sad anymore, it's just always there, hanging like a dark cloud over your consious? or is it more than that, something inherent, something we are born with?
when i get sad, i start to think more deeply, feel things more deeply, when i'm my happiest there's normally a sweet sadness painted over the joy, like a watercolor blue over yellow. i like my happy/sadness.
why do we always try to bury our sadnesses? we also end up buryng our pleasures, is that worth it? or are we so convinced that if we feel sad for 10 minutes we'll never be happy again that we think it's a worthy sacrefice? ]]> ~arina800 http://arina800.deviantart.com/journal/6690918/ http://arina800.deviantart.com/journal/6690918/ Wed, 05 Oct 2005 21:38:59 PDT yes, i'm leaving for the four day weekend! woot! but i'm not going to my favorite place in the entire world: the coast. not woot. currently copying a TON of cd's b/c my parents refuse to get me an mp3 player of the 20mgb variety until my birthday. in a month. surely i will die. what a shame. ]]> ~arina800 http://arina800.deviantart.com/journal/6655157/ http://arina800.deviantart.com/journal/6655157/ Sat, 01 Oct 2005 22:36:57 PDT i just spent an hour crying, feeling sorry for my mom(he was her favorite brother), myself (because i hadn't realized before) and my uncle. to know how not having a secure grasp on reality affects someone and the people around them kind of shatters my whole perception of my mother and her side of the family. god that's an aweful feeling. ]]> ~arina800 http://arina800.deviantart.com/journal/6653054/ http://arina800.deviantart.com/journal/6653054/ Sat, 01 Oct 2005 17:28:56 PDT on a more artistic note, i've started finishing things again. i wasn't sure how i'd be after so much time off (haven't finished something since february), but apparently i haven't forgotten much. i'm really excited for the painting class i'm taking, we've actually started doing art instead of sitting there doing line drawings. thank god she's giving us time to finish now i'm so glad.
life isn't too exciting, i'm getting a membership at the local health club because i can't run right now. damned shin splints. gonna start lifting and swimming a few days a week. i am really not a great swimmer, it's like watching a fish flop around on the dock. kind of sad and really pathetic.
so, i'm sick as a dog. i slept for 15 hours last night. woke up at 1:40, it was an exhausting week. lord. i'm so glad it's over and i've got a four day weekend coming up. life is good. ]]> ~arina800 http://arina800.deviantart.com/journal/6416463/ http://arina800.deviantart.com/journal/6416463/ Sun, 04 Sep 2005 18:37:33 PDT okay.. so the opening bands were really good (an true phenomenon) but it took them like a half an hour between the last opening band and flogging molly. however when they came up the crowd went absofuckinglutely INSANE!!!! everyone surged forward and sideways and up all at the same time and you just got swept away from anyone you were standing with before. i went from one side of the room to the other in about thirty seconds. it was crazy. you were literally pussing people away from you just to stay standing, only you couldn't fall, because there were to many people!
there wasn't any room to fall!!! or they would catch you, which was really a very cool feeling. will add more later, when not supposed to be writing essay for school. ]]> ~arina800