deviantART: by:ashtrayxx http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:ashtrayxx&section=today deviantART RSS for by:ashtrayxx en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Mon, 28 Dec 2009 22:40:54 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png A little update http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/27810307/ http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/27810307/ Sat, 17 Oct 2009 06:19:09 PDT
I was told yesterday that I will need to undergo surgery, which I'm hoping will happen during xmas break so I don't have to miss/quit school.

As for school, next week is intersession already. It went by so fast! I have a lot of work, it's very different from Canadore. I still think I was busier at Canadore though. Or maybe I'm just getting used to it. I am still working at EB Games, believe it or not, with school and the 3 hours a day I have to spend on the train. But I gave my resignation letter yesterday, due to my arm and issues with my close family.

Those aren't the easiest times I've been through but I am curiously resilient. Or at least my mind is. I quit smoking almost 3 months ago now, and I walk about 45 minutes a day, makes my mind clearer. I have to say, living under my boyfriend's parents roof makes me feel very secure. Nothing to worry about except for my own expenses. Which is a good thing because my macbook pro ate half of my loans for the semester.

Ok, gotta spend the next two days smothered under a pile of homework. Seriously. Gahhhh. Looks sorta like this:

* Refine my font
* Redesign poster, it sucks (but this one is only due Thursday)
* Type up and print book about 4 design projects
* Render 4th said design project
* Read chapter 6 of psychology of human relationships book
* Study for web design exam which I’m so going to fail.
* Make powerpoint about fictional corporate identity revamp for CNE

Anyways, tata.
And, aww, bye bye journal CSS. You shall be missed.

]]> =ashtrayxx Hi. http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/26883017/ http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/26883017/ Fri, 28 Aug 2009 19:42:44 PDT
I can't really draw these days. I was told I have carpal tunnel syndrome and need to rest my arm before school starts again and I'm actually FORCED to do all my graphics homework on the computer. I have to wear that thing at night. Just typing this hurts so yeah...
I'm a bit scared I'll be unable to do my school work. If it doesn't go away by itself with rest I'll need surgery. At rest my arm is mostly fine. But all my activities are repetitive hand movements... drawing, computer, video games... it sucks.

School starts in like a week.

Clubs

:iconshadowdeviantsclub:

Self Promotion


Ashtrayxx


Stamps

=ashtrayxx . http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/25444889/ http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/25444889/ Sun, 21 Jun 2009 00:18:23 PDT
Creative dead end?

Clubs

:iconshadowdeviantsclub:

Self Promotion


Ashtrayxx


Stamps

=ashtrayxx Burlington http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/24567281/ http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/24567281/ Sun, 03 May 2009 13:51:47 PDT
I am getting used to live in suburbia AND in an Indian household lol. I don't have an art corner yet so I'm not too sure whenever I'll be drawing again.

George Brown offers summer photo classes so I'm thinking of applying for those next year, I also wish I can pay for Japanese classes!

I've just been busy unpacking and haven't hit Toronto yet, but I should soon.

I got a note today saying that a picture I suggested months ago for a DD will soon be one! Isn't it wonderful? I won't say what or who obviously, but it makes me very happy.

Clubs

:iconshadowdeviantsclub:

Self Promotion


Ashtrayxx


Stamps

http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/24428109/ Sat, 25 Apr 2009 13:03:36 PDT
Birthday in the rain and boxes. Packing, moving on Monday!
Lil party tonight with friends.

I'm 22.

Clubs

:iconshadowdeviantsclub:

Self Promotion


Ashtrayxx


Stamps

http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/23645486/ Wed, 11 Mar 2009 15:20:25 PDT
I haven't been coming here too much recently. No idea why.
I just don't feel like it matters anymore. It's probably temporary, so don't worry too much.

I have been absorbing instead of making. My senses feel an uncontrollable desire to be recharged.

Clubs

:iconshadowdeviantsclub:

Self Promotion


Ashtrayxx


Stamps

... ]]> =ashtrayxx Wish me luck. http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/23300329/ http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/23300329/ Fri, 20 Feb 2009 04:30:22 PST
Sorry for having been so distant in the past week or so, I have been working on my portfolio for my school transfer application (plus my already extraordinary load of homework). I am so stressed, my body is giving me stress signs I have never even had, and I live with anxiety disorder on a regular basis lol:P.
I worked really hard for that and I am so scared it's going to have been such a waste of time and material. I'm more confident than not, but I know I still won't get any real sleep until it's all done on Monday. I actually WANT to transfer now. I'll be happy if we stay in North Bay, but Toronto has it's advantages, right?

I'm leaving for Toronto tonight so I can spend a few days with my boyfriend before the examination. I haven't seen him in two weeks (he is currently doing a month and a half long placement for teacher's college in Toronto, but we'll see each other like 3 times so it's not too hard)! I'll probably have to finish up everything there and work a lot but it will still be nice to be with him.


Peace.


[EDIT]: Here is what I have to come up with. I'm pretty much done everything now except the sketchbook thing is killing me and I'm afraid I'll fail with that, because I don't have a concept or anything, it's just random sketches (I don't sketch anymore)
[link]
[link]
[link]
[link]
[/EDIT]

Clubs

:iconshadowdeviantsclub:

Self Promotion


Ashtrayxx


Stamps

http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/22901097/ Fri, 30 Jan 2009 09:30:25 PST
A feature!
I know, I know. It's been so long.
For this feature, I'm sharing some of the inside of my inbox! New pieces the people I watch posted this week or recently which I really liked. So... welcome to my inbox!

I'll be adding some more during the week. So get postin'!!

Clubs

:iconshadowdeviantsclub:

Self Promotion

http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/22648639/ Sun, 18 Jan 2009 08:52:23 PST
EDIT: Please check out this awesome new club to discover unknown DA artists and apply, too! [link]
:iconshadowdeviantsclub:




I applied down south for a school transfer. Circumstances make that I have to leave North Bay comes summer, not by choice, but that's how life is. Hopefully I get in...

Friends outside DA

:iconherr-amn: :iconcosmicbalthy: :iconmikepalangio: :iconmeghanlou: :iconshell4art: :icontokiidokiigirl: :iconsammybingo: :icontasteinmeds: :iconinyourfacemakeupart: :iconmelph: :iconseiteki9: :iconvoodooxgirl:
[Minus the ones who never uploaded anything]


Self Promotion

http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/22116539/ Tue, 06 Jan 2009 19:04:33 PST
EDIT: Totally just realized I erased my previous journal entry from the 22nd with this one a few days ago... I guess I'm confused with the new layout. /EDIT




I am getting sick and it annoys me. My throat as been tingly for the past 2 days and I have difficulty to swallow.

HEH! It's ok because I have been having good times.

I never got into :iconwewy: before. Why now? It's eating up all my free time and I feel like a huge weeaboo. Kill it. Please kill it.

I am sort of writing here to vent about annoying dreams. Mine have been filled with wonderful and dreamy places recently. Weirdly enough, they are bad dreams. Something awful always happens. Last night, I was fighting with wolves for an animal carcass (wat), the day before a girl slipped on ice and cracked her skull open. But one detail has been following me into real life and it's very frustrating... In those dreams, I often end up taking wonderful pictures of the wonderful places, after going through all the shitty stuff.

AND THEN I WAKE UP. Where the hell are those wonderful pictures I just took? Oh yeah that wasn't real.

FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU




School starts back in two days~ Going back home tomorrow.

Friends outside DA

:iconherr-amn: :iconcosmicbalthy: :iconmikepalangio: :iconmeghanlou: :iconshell4art: :icontokiidokiigirl: :iconsammybingo: :icontasteinmeds: :iconinyourfacemakeupart: :iconmelph: :iconseiteki9: :iconvoodooxgirl:
[Minus the ones who never uploaded anything]


Self Promotion

http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/21926752/ Thu, 11 Dec 2008 07:16:16 PST
Portfolio presentation at school today in an hour. In front of the whole faculty. (EDIT: I accidentally the whole faculty.) We even have our own Simon (Cowell), which in this case would be my teacher Finn.

Oh, and the photography teacher which I don't have yet but I pissed off the other day by walking into her class by accident to get something from the classroom. She gave me the dirtiest look ever. (EDIT: I clipped my hair back, she maybe won't recognize me.... oh who am I fooling, I'm the ginger of the program.)

Then I'm done.

I can't seem to see past 11:40 though. I'll get excited after. Now I'm just stressed like hell.

(EDIT: I'm off)

Friends outside DA

:iconherr-amn: :iconmikepalangio: :iconmeghanlou: :iconshell4art: :icontokiidokiigirl: :iconsammybingo: :icontasteinmeds: :iconinyourfacemakeupart: :iconmelph: :iconseiteki9: :iconvoodooxgirl:
[Minus the ones who never uploaded anything]


Self Promotion

http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/21854589/ Sat, 06 Dec 2008 20:23:44 PST


Friends outside DA

:iconherr-amn: :iconmikepalangio: :iconmeghanlou: :iconshell4art: :icontokiidokiigirl: :iconsammybingo: :icontasteinmeds: :iconinyourfacemakeupart: :iconmelph: :iconseiteki9: :iconvoodooxgirl:
[Minus the ones who never uploaded anything]


Self Promotion


Ashtrayxx


Stamps

http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/21829741/ Fri, 05 Dec 2008 11:07:34 PST
One of my friends :iconeileenirma: on deviantart got a DD a few days ago. Sounds awesome right? She is an amazing artist. All her art is incredible.

Well, someone decided to report her image, and it got deleted by a staff member without her even knowing she had had a DD.

I hope whoever on staff deleted her art feels completely ASHAMED for not looking in the situation and realizing that yes, someone on earth has that much talent that her drawings look like photos. And whoever reported it can go get lost.

Here is the picture she took with her artwork that got deleted. Please help by favoriting it, or passing the word around. Thank you.

(EDIT: Here is my journal from yesterday talking about the fact she got a DD, with a thumbnail of the awesome now gone deviation [link])



Friends outside DA

:iconherr-amn: :iconmikepalangio: :iconmeghanlou: :iconshell4art: :icontokiidokiigirl: :iconsammybingo: :icontasteinmeds: :iconinyourfacemakeupart: :iconmelph: http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/21812454/ Thu, 04 Dec 2008 08:47:46 PST
Two of my friends and watchers got DDs this week!! Isn't that so great? They really deserve it.

 &


Today I am going to work on my deviantart holiday card! If you haven't heard about the project or forgot to do yours, go check this news article! [link]

Friends outside DA

:iconherr-amn: :iconmikepalangio: :iconmeghanlou: :iconshell4art: :icontokiidokiigirl: :iconsammybingo: :icontasteinmeds: :iconinyourfacemakeupart: :iconmelph: :iconseiteki9: :iconvoodooxgirl:
[Minus the ones who never uploaded anything]


Self Promotion

http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/21797985/ Wed, 03 Dec 2008 11:19:19 PST
So school is over until January.
I'm already a bit bored. I need to make sure I don't slack off and actually work on pieces that I like.
I'm expecting no lower than a B in all my classes.

On the 11th I have to go back to meet with my faculty and go through a fake job interview where I present 5 of my best/favorite pieces. It's my only exam.

I don't even know if I will still be attending Canadore College next year. From what I have found up to now, Seneca is the only college in the Toronto area (which is where I might move) that offers photography as part of their design course, and it's one semester instead of five. It's killing me really. I don't mind moving, I moved over 12 times in my life. It's just that I found something I cared for, and a reason to live for myself. I moved here for someone else and now I wish I could stay here a little longer, for myself.

To make it worst,I wish that Deviantart didn't bring me down most of the time. It's silly, right? I wish I put more importance in things that matter.

Things are happening to people around me, which I can't even imagine going through. Unspeakable things. I shouldn't complain.

But things overall are good, it's more of an internal turmoil. My boyfriend is back and he's cuddly and cute. I want to go home soon, but we're only leaving in two weeks or so. I'm excited to see my family.

Friends outside DA

:iconherr-amn: :iconmikepalangio: :iconmeghanlou: :iconshell4art: :icontokiidokiigirl: :iconsammybingo: :icontasteinmeds: :iconinyourfacemakeupart: :iconmelph: :iconseiteki9: :iconvoodooxgirl:
[Minus the ones who never uploaded anything]


Self Promotion

=ashtrayxx Snow http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/21517682/ http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/21517682/ Sun, 16 Nov 2008 12:05:29 PST
Two weeks of school left!!! :) In the meantime, so many logos, pastel renderings, type stuff due. But just thinking that we're starting photography next semester keeps me running smoothly :D

For christmas I would like 7k views :rofl:

Friends outside DA

:iconherr-amn: :iconmikepalangio: :iconmeghanlou: :iconshell4art: :icontokiidokiigirl: :iconsammybingo: :icontasteinmeds: :iconinyourfacemakeupart: :iconmelph: :iconseiteki9: :iconvoodooxgirl:
[Minus the ones who never uploaded anything]


Self Promotion

http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/21352872/ Thu, 06 Nov 2008 06:48:21 PST :iconshell4art:. DO IT!


1) Answer the questions below

2) Take each answer and type it into dA search box

3) Take a deviation from the first page of results (may use ' popular' or 'newest' ) and post thumb (for subscribers) or link (non-subscribers)

4) You can't copy the persons answers who posted this before you




1. The age you will be on your next birthday



2. A place you'd like to travel


3. Your favorite place



4. Your favorite object



5. Favorite food



6. Your favorite animal



7. Your favorite color



8. The town/state/etc in which you live



9. Name of past pet



10. A dream come true



11. Your nickname/screenname



12. Middle name


13. Favorite Smell



14. Bad habit of yours



15. Your first job



16. Favourite Movie (too many, one of them, tekkon kinkreet)
http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/21152978/ Sat, 25 Oct 2008 09:51:47 PDT
I have been featured here [link] by :iconbrewgirl: and here [link] by :iconroadkillmaniac: recently. Thank you girls :heart: Please go check their collections, they are full of pretty stuff.

Please visit :iconhelewidis: 's journal about her project called 44kittens here [link] and be understanding. The young lady is currently taking care of 44 cats, receives no help from her country and has to do everything by herself. Help spread the word to make both her and the kitties life a bit better!


Next update will have features, I promise. I just don't have time right now.

Self Promotion


Ashtrayxx


Stamps

http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/20839156/ Sun, 05 Oct 2008 09:42:48 PDT
I am seriously so busy with school. I mean, I spent two years in college before and I don't know if it's because I wasn't even really trying or because I was completely oblivious to what was going on around me, but I have never had so much homework. I sort of enjoy it though. If I work even half that hard for 3 years there is no reason for me not to get much much better and skilled.

I'm going to Montreal on Wednesday. I'm very excited to see my friends/family again.

I'm featuring works from my watchers and friends only this time! Not from the people I watch (well yes in the case they watch me back...but the point is... this feature is for the people who encouraged me!) One from each. Tell me if I left you out, and I will be happy to add something from you. Enjoy and give the artists a visit. Some of them are no more active, but still, eye candy:D

Features

(this one is a drawing of me:)) http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/20639871/ Thu, 25 Sep 2008 16:13:45 PDT Please take a look at this picture and take a moment to read the description. It's important. No idea if the story is true but it looks legit.


/EDIT//

Have been featured by the wonderful :iconscarf-girl: here [link] :) This is my second (third?) news feature.

The news is part of a project :iconfeat-ure: featuring unknown artists. We all know that DEVIANTART is so big that some people will never see the light. If you feel like encouraging beginners, or just talented people still hidden in the shadow, please take a look and join!

I finally received my camera! It was a long and tedious adventure, but it's finally mine. <3

I also received The Mighty Book of Boosh earlier today. Pure eye candy. Beautiful, colorful and inspiring. Very funny, obviously :D

Self Promotion


Ashtrayxx


Stamps

http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/20528057/ Tue, 16 Sep 2008 19:31:11 PDT I ordered my Canon XSI which I should receive by Monday, hopefully Thursday or Friday.

Been playing with the sets of prismacolor markers I had to buy for school, and I have to say it was a rather fun experience. I have been using letraset markers mainly on my mixed media deviations, but I had a range of about 5 colors to chose from. The quality of the prismacolor doesn't feel as great, but it's still worth the 250$ (ACK!) that they cost me.

MY LIFE IS RIGHT ON TRACK. WORRIES PUT ASIDE.

I haven't felt this relieved and happy and proud of myself in so, so long.



『Self-Promo』

★★★★★★★★★★★


Here is a quick feature I just put together of some of my favorite b&w art. Give the artists love!

『FEATURES=black&white//photo』

★★★★★★★★ =ashtrayxx School, etc http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/20451049/ http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/20451049/ Fri, 12 Sep 2008 07:50:03 PDT
I am finally buying a decent camera next week. Probably a Pentax k200d or a Canon Rebel XSI or XTI (gawd that name makes me want to puke though). I don't have photography classes until after Christmas, but might as well get it now before I run out of money. I wish I could afford better, but it's not going to happen. I will already have to make many sacrifices to get either. Like... probably not eat for a month haha. And I also will have to pass on the Macbook for this year. Good thing it's only obligatory for second year.

Speaking of Macs, I have been playing with them a bit in class. I can't say I'm very excited about them. Especially their mice. I have to use a PC mouse on them or I just end up wanting to throw the whole thing out the window. It will be a long adaptation. Or maybe not. Everything on them DOES look much nicer though.

I learnt so much in just a week, and I also had a lot of old forgotten concepts refreshed in my memory. Some of our teachers are pretty strict, but I know they will help me a lot. I feel like I can grow so much, and it's feeling I haven't felt in 3 years. It's motivating.

Also, getting a subscription on here again next week hopefully.

EDIT: 5000 views FINALLY.

]]> =ashtrayxx The future starts.... Now. http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/20280219/ http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/20280219/ Mon, 01 Sep 2008 20:49:30 PDT
GRD 110 Graphic Design I - Visual Elements
GRD 111 Typography I - Introduction
GRD 112 Illustration I - Drawing/Perspective
GRD 113 Electronic Publishing
GRD 114 Computer Imagery
GRD 119 Visual Communication


SEMESTER TWO:

GRD 120 Graphic Design II - Visual Layout
GRD 121 Typography II - Creative
GRD 122 Illustration II - Rendering Techniques
GRD 123 Pre-Press I - Production Procedures
GRD 124 Photography I - Fundamentals
GRD 126 Computer Illustration
GRD 129 History of Art and Design
CGE 125 Effective Communication


SEMESTER THREE:

GRD 230 Graphic Design III - Corporate
GRD 232 Illustration III - Digital
GRD 233 Pre-Press II - Project Management
GRD 234 Photography II - Techniques
GRD 235 Web Design I - Codes and Language
CMM 230 Writing and Speaking to Persuade


SEMESTER FOUR:

GRD 240 Graphic Design IV - Information Graphics
GRD 242 Illustration IV - Mixed Media
GRD 243 Pre-Press III - Digital Output & Proofing
GRD 244 Photography III - Commercial
GRD 245 Web Design II - Creative
GRD 246 Professional Development
CMM 240 Communication


SEMESTER FIVE:

GRD 350 Graphic Design V - Advertising
GRD 352 Illustration V - Editorial/Product
GRD 353 Pre-Press IV - Multi-Page Documents
GRD 354 Photography IV - Advanced
GRD 355 Web Design III - Construction
GRD 357 Colour Theory - Applied


SEMESTER SIX:

GRD 360 Graphic Design VI - 3 Dimensional Design
GRD 365 Web Design IV - Animation
GRD 366 Portfolio Preparation
GRD 368 Production Projects
GRD 369 Writing for Advertising
SBM 227 Entrepreneurial Studies

]]> =ashtrayxx august 7th already? http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/19831074/ http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/19831074/ Thu, 07 Aug 2008 16:32:16 PDT
i have been moderately productive recently, which makes me happy. i have been playing around with photoshop a lot, discovering tons of goodies for the eye (ie movies, animations) and started studying japanese again, after 5 years of complete disinterest, to somewhat keep my brain alert before school begins.

still no idea when my classes start. still no idea what programs i am really going to use. still no idea how i will afford a mac during the following year [EDIT: and a new bigger tablet, and an expensive camera].

it has been raining and thundering everyday for the past two weeks. i called my mom yesterday, she said it's the same in quebec.

my boyfriend is cooking something good.


ashtrayxx,
赤毛の女

]]> =ashtrayxx :) http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/18980798/ http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/18980798/ Sun, 22 Jun 2008 10:31:21 PDT
also the mood thing is fucked. it won't let me change it. i am more like, well rested and hung over and happy. went to the pub yesterday with amn and krista and jumped on a trampoline for hours and met krista's lil cousin who's nine and she reminded me so much of me when i was a kid. we exchanged bracelets.

EDIT: i am planning to make this account suscribed as soon as school starts. i also feel like showing the world what amazing deviations i run into all the time who deserve so much more views:)

]]> =ashtrayxx art against depression - check my new group http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/18837902/ http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/18837902/ Sat, 14 Jun 2008 12:33:49 PDT artagainstdepression

i have been thinking of doing this for a long time.
if you have/know someone who has a mental illness and believe that art can help save them, join!

i'm welcoming any ideas, support, etc. if you feel generous, link it somewhere;) i have nothing to do this summer and i am trying to do my best to teach people about what mental illnesses can do, trying to demystify the misconceptions, and giving support.

i am just not sure how i should direct my energies, what would work better, what has been done already and whatnot.



oh man it's warm today.

]]> =ashtrayxx w00t. http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/18725156/ http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/18725156/ Sun, 08 Jun 2008 05:35:34 PDT but hey. it still makes me happy.
4000 views! weee.

]]> =ashtrayxx Devious Journal Entry http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/18203762/ http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/18203762/ Tue, 06 May 2008 20:50:22 PDT september, september come faster!
i havent been that excited about something in so long. i feel a pleasurable punch in my tummy every time i think about it.

i have moved to another basement (minus the mold and chinese kids running on my head this time). im currently writing from my love's parents place, a few hours from home (both ways...).

i wont have access to the internet for a lil while when back. ill drop off asap.

]]> =ashtrayxx Birthday gurl! http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/18014619/ http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/18014619/ Thu, 24 Apr 2008 21:18:16 PDT
my friends are throwing me a luau. it seems like they hid tons of stuff from me. should be interesting. no one, except for my mom when i was a kid of course, has ever thrown a bday party for me. i guess this town is really not that bad after all. really not that bad. it makes me very happy, in fact.

other good news: i applied back to college. graphic designs, here i come! wish me luck, i can't stand to stay home and/or work for minimum wage anymore. learning is always fun. always.



annnd finally, i took the old pentax program plus out. i don't know what the first film will look like. only have a few pics taken. last time i was allowed to use it was for a high school project. such an awesome camera. so old (older than me!), yet better than anything ive had my hands on. im so glad my mom trusts me enough to lend it to me.

]]> =ashtrayxx ease up on the pepsi max http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/17733475/ http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/17733475/ Mon, 07 Apr 2008 14:55:39 PDT i'm burning away the pounds of winter reclusion, of yawning awakeness and of repulsive sadness.
i am alive at last, i am high on caffeine.
i should do something today.

i'm stuck in here for two years still. better start plotting on rulling it by tommorow.

]]> =ashtrayxx Soon I will be leaving http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/17411092/ http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/17411092/ Wed, 19 Mar 2008 13:50:32 PDT
I know, I'll start drawing anime style catgirls with big boobs and maybe I'll get some views!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111one

Wow if I made a deviantart account during my teens, I'll be so popular by now fame would come out my ass.

Few people on here care about art. You want to be popular easily: draw terrible fanart of stuff like Narutard and watch the awesome comment like "OMG xDDDDddddddddddd KAWAIIIIIIII!!!!! so kewl add ++++++" come in by hundreds. No wait, thousands.

I don't care at this point if writing that makes me baned. I've seen wonderful artists on here that get about zero recognition for what they are achieving. I've seen people with tens of thousands of views on a drawing of stick figures making fart jokes.

I know and always knew deviantart is run by anime and anthro fans. I guess I realized too late I have been hanging with the wrong crowd.

I just don't see why I should put energies into this anymore.

]]> =ashtrayxx Thanks you DA! http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/17145765/ http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/17145765/ Sun, 02 Mar 2008 09:11:11 PST
Thanks:)

]]> =ashtrayxx fangirl talk http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/17064720/ http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/17064720/ Mon, 25 Feb 2008 20:13:18 PST
i look at myself as a kid when i was into anime or as a teen when i was into jrock and i want to shoot myself thinking of my own fangirl stupidity back then.

but for once in years i have an outburst....

i mean, i have played all final fantasy games except 2 and and 11 (that includes tactics and tactics advance, as well as revenant wings). and i loved em all. but nothing. compares. to XII. i mean... i'm almost 21 for christ's sake. and it makes me feel fuzzy to think about that game. gahhhhhhhhhhhhhh. and now i beat it tonight. what will i ever do?




i'm sorry. i just had to let it out somehow *giggle*. and i thought deviantart would be the most open community about that stuff.


ahhhhh.... ugh... good night.

]]> =ashtrayxx thought id share this program with my fellow devie http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/16660282/ http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/16660282/ Thu, 31 Jan 2008 14:34:32 PST here is a picture of myself from september with which i played with for maximum 5 minutes.

[link]

yes, oh my, even i can look cute (ish)!!!
it evened the skin in seconds, and then i played around with the lips, which i made fuller, and the eyes which i made greener. it sincerly took me about 5 minutes, and the results are impressive (the caption does not give it justice).

hmm. i'm not the type of person who spends lots of time photoshoping my skin usually, even less playing with my facial features! but i think this program has potential.
you should definitiley check it out. if i am not mistaking, it's a freeware.

]]> =ashtrayxx Devious Journal Entry http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/16600637/ http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/16600637/ Sun, 27 Jan 2008 16:40:12 PST
i pray it will. i think it will.


rejoice!

]]> =ashtrayxx update... http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/16376749/ http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/16376749/ Sat, 12 Jan 2008 18:18:30 PST i have been stuck at home for a month.
i am sad tonight.
i haven't liked anything i have made recently,
i feel like what i like to do the best,
i can't still make it pretty enough.
i am not the artist i wish i was.
i don't believe anyone is one day going to look at my art and feel something.
i don't know what to do.
i found a scanner laying upstairs today.
i wish it was a sign.
i wish it would make me draw again.
i need another drink.

]]> =ashtrayxx Devious Journal Entry http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/15440955/ http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/15440955/ Fri, 09 Nov 2007 21:18:53 PST i have a new job, its fun.
but its a lot of work.
soon ill have money, and will buy a scanner:)

]]> =ashtrayxx art theft. http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/13965529/ http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/13965529/ Wed, 01 Aug 2007 03:30:28 PDT >:(

[link]
[link]
[link]
[link]
[link]
[link]

]]> =ashtrayxx the joys in turning twenty http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/12735844/ http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/12735844/ Wed, 25 Apr 2007 20:28:38 PDT
1. moving to ontario on may 11th with my luff.

2. the cash down i got made on an amazing graphire WACOM tablet which i'll soon be the owner of. AND THAT MEANS ART AND ART AND MORE ART!:D [link]


weee. cuddle fest now. peace.

happy bday to meee.

]]> =ashtrayxx Hoy! http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/12052096/ http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/12052096/ Sun, 04 Mar 2007 10:14:18 PST i'd be very happy. if there is anything you would like me to make for you, using a different art piece, just ask.

CLICKIE!

[link]
[link]
[link]
[link]
[link]


and i decided to dedicate this post to very inspiring artists which i did not discover on here. they are really worth it. take time to visit their art pages, you won't be dissapointed.

JAMES JEAN (just gorgeous works, he did pieces for magazines. love it.)

K e n i c h i H o s h i n e (beautiful again)

and here is a project the two of them made...

Jason Chan (more of a fantasy artist, but i still like the style)

Cicci and Sulley (cute!)

JOHN JOHN JESSE (i'm a long time fan. disturbing images. don't click if you are easily offended.)

Sally Mann (amazing photographer. just beautiful. i've wanted her books for so long. if you believe that her work is child pornography, you're pretty sick. her works are pure and simple BEAUTY.)

Fu-ko Ueda (once again, so so beautiful. or rather, dreamy. lots of animals and young girls. the colors are unique. one of my all time favorites)

TREVOR BROWN (i love love LOVE brown. don't check if you are easily offended. lot of sicko fetishism and very disturbing images)

i think that's enough for today! fair winds matey arr!

]]> =ashtrayxx i'm alive! http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/11638687/ http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/11638687/ Wed, 31 Jan 2007 17:40:11 PST
please check my friend shell's website:)
check out her pottery and painting, and especially listen to her amazing voice and even buy her book if you are motivated.

[link]

work is taking all of my time, i wish i had more days off to do art. i also have so much stuff to scan but never get around to it. oh well. someone wants to kick my butt? that'd help.

]]> =ashtrayxx ouchie:( http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/10584771/ http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/10584771/ Wed, 01 Nov 2006 16:53:38 PST
so i guess, unfortunately.... no art for a while:(
it makes me very sad.
but oh well, can't change the course of life!!

]]> =ashtrayxx life http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/10452751/ http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/10452751/ Fri, 20 Oct 2006 06:19:56 PDT
my scanner doesnt work and i cannot upload stuff and it makes me mad, though. i'll try to install it on this dinosaur of a computer, but i doubt it will work.

i hit 1500 views today!:)
thank you so much.


who will be my 25th watcher?;)

]]> =ashtrayxx tell me about your life... http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/10399041/ http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/10399041/ Sun, 15 Oct 2006 09:09:16 PDT hey i would like every one of you to comment with one good memory of your childhood. your favorite one. come on, i'm sure there is something you can think of:)

ohhh the autumn! precious moments. pretty days, perfect weather (if you don't mind the rain), and for the last week, a warm body to snuggle against :heart:.

my subscription expired :( but hey! i start working tommorow! so i will have a little cash to spend on here *evil laughter*. the funny thing is that my mother might start working at the same place as i do. might be interesting:). my mom is cool.

speaking of deviant art, i uploaded a bunch of new stuff on my gallery [link] check and comment please! also give a look at my scraps [link] there is a lot of stuff there too.

life is starting to get normal again, with it's load of responsabilities and action. this uncomfortable cocoon i have been trapped in for months is finally melting, and i feel ready for a brand new start. or do i? yes i think so.

my mom's computer stopped working so i plugged my old shitty one, but it's better than nothing.

later tonight i might upload songs and such on this entry so check it back later:)

i'm leaving you all with a few deviants you should check! do it! it's worth it.



love,
ashtrayxx

]]> =ashtrayxx pillows and pills http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/10132085/ http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/10132085/ Wed, 20 Sep 2006 12:23:21 PDT
Listening to: portishead - pedestal
Reading: amelie nothomb - biographie de la faim

:raincloud: just spent 20 hours at the urgencies in hospital. i won't explain why here, but i am glad to be back. let's just say i did something very stupid:pills: , which i regret :stupidme: and won't happen again.:surrender:

:sleep: :sleep: :sleep: :sleep: :sleep: :sleep:

anyways, i will be leaving for my boyfriend's house in north bay tommorow so i won't be around for a while. i'll check deviantart daily, but i won't update much.

cheers xxxx

----------------------------------------------------
:bulletblue: mateys:ahoy:

:heart::heart:



:bulletblue: some favorites

http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/10059193/ Wed, 13 Sep 2006 11:13:43 PDT
Mood: Worried worried
Watching: vanilla sky

people have been shot at my school...
we cannot use cellphones...
i wanna call everyone to see if theyre all right.
is it luck i took this semester off?
i'm so confused.

----------------------------------------------------
:bulletblue: mateys:ahoy:

:heart::heart:



:bulletblue: some favorites



http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/10027835/ Sun, 10 Sep 2006 11:50:36 PDT
Mood: Worried insecure
Listening to: mew - white lips kissed
Watching: vanilla sky

my boyfriend is (brown. and also) the bestester boyfriend in the entire history of boyfriends and he bought me a one month suscribtion. :3

i'm looking for a job this week. yes, ashtrayxx going back to a normal life. that should be interesting.

i need about 50 dollars to escape to northbay asap. i miss the north and the cold.

----------------------------------------------------
:bulletblue: mateys:ahoy:

:heart::heart:



:bulletblue: some favorites


http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/9974823/ Tue, 05 Sep 2006 09:16:38 PDT my mind feels so bleak sometimes, and seeing all the pretty things on this website make it so much better. i need to surround myself with pretty things. simple things.

one day i wake up and i feel like a young child. it's true: i live like one. i play with the paint, i go to the swings in the park next to the river. but at the same time i feel so old. i feel i reached some kind of utopic middle. i'm innocent, i lost my grip on the bad things of life, things i cannot change. but i feel like this summer lasted 5 years.

i'm starting to have projects again. lifetime projects. i haven't had those since god knows when.

i'm getting the control back. slowly, but surely.

:heart:[song or matter of debate?]:heart: `:stereo:

also, i'm hitting 1000 views today. and for that i am very grateful. thanks a lot everyone!!!!! that means a lot to me :blowkiss:
------------------------------------------
:bulletblue: mateys:ahoy:

:heart::heart:



:bulletblue: some favorites


... ]]> =ashtrayxx Devious Journal Entry http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/9937884/ http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/9937884/ Sat, 02 Sep 2006 07:12:57 PDT
Mood: excited
Listening to: death from above 1979

i am bored.

1) How old are you?
19

2) What was your response when 9/11 happened?
first, i'm not an american, i am canadian. but i was in school, and all the teachers looked very perturbed, and most of the classes that day only lasted half of the usual time. we instead discussed about what was happening. i admit for a second i thought it was the end of the world hahah.

3) What do you do when vending machines steal your money?
roll eyes and curse, quebecois style.

4) Do you consider yourself kind?
yeah i think im nice

5) If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?
punjabi, so i could have complex disscussions with my mother in law.

6) Are you touchy feely?
you tell me:3

7) Do you believe that opposites attract?
hahaha yes.

8) Dream job?
tortured artist...wait
haha no i don't know yet:(

9) Favorite channel(s)?
the news channel (here it's RDI). i'm -always- watching it.

10) Recommend a Band:
coco rosie.

11) Do you paint your nails?
yeah, most of the time.

12) Do you want kids?
yes. weirdly, this is one of the only things that give my life a sense. all my friends are getting babies and i'm jealous ._.

13) Where would you rather be right now?
in amn's cold bedroom in northbay, tickling his feet with mine.

14) Heavy or light sleeper?
right now, heavy. usually light.

15) Are you paranoid?
yep for certain things, but being controlled now.

16) Who can you relate to?
my mother, probably.

17) Have you been burned by love?
whooo hasn't.

18) Whose bed did you sleep in last night?
my own. and it was so comfy i wonder why i'm up so early.

19) What kind of shirt are you wearing?
right now? to be honest... none :blush:

20) Most recent movie you watched?
pirates of the carribean one .___.

21) What are you most afraid of?
myself. but a lot of things and people too.

22) How much cash do you have on you right now?
none. no loans, no job. i'm completely dry.

23) What's your favorite town/city?
vancouver

24) I can't wait till:
i go back to north bay

25) Who got you to join myspace?
no one. got on it myself.

26) How tall are you barefoot?
5'2'' :-X

27) Do you own a sword?
hahaha a plastic pirate sword i got for one buck, savvy?

28) What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
coffee or chai tea. all the way.

29) What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?
i don't have one.

30) Current hate?
being tied down to doing nothing. extremists. people who take themselves too seriously and believe they are "T3H Sh1T!!!1".

31) Favorite place to be?
the country. sometimes the city, but just sometimes. everywhere with amn or a good friend.

32) Where would you like to travel to?
many places in south asia. europe, the countries of my ancestors (uk, ireland and scottland). japan, thailand. iceland....

33) Where do you think you'll be in 10 yrs?
still alive, hopefully. i'm not too sure where though. but there are a few details i'm sure of.

34) Do a lot of people have a crush on you?
noooone that i know of.

35) How many times a day are you sexually active?
amn answered to that one, so if you REALLY want to know, go read his survey. but then i'd say you have no life haha:P

36) What's your favorite candy?
pocky?

37) What song is stuck in your head?
none at the moment, weirdly o_O

38) Are you happy lately?
i'm fine, yeah.

39) Your hertiage:
english, scottish and irish. wouldnt have guessed uh?;)

40) Your natural hair/eye color:
reddd, red red red red.
my eyes are greenish brown.

----------------------------------------------------
http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/9917304/ Fri, 01 Sep 2006 15:20:24 PDT
i am so bored, sooo bored.
starting a new med tonight, an anti-psychotic, added to my anti-depressant that i have been on for 5 months :paranoid:. it makes me wanna roll on the floor laughing when i read they prescribe it mainly to treat schizophrenia :rofl: (but also depression and anxiety problems, which is what my doc is triggering). anyways, it is said to be incredibly sedative AND add to the already desative effect of anti-depressants:yawn:. sooo i think that ashtray is off for a few days of geeentle and niiiiice sleep.
:sleep:

so long, mateys.




:bulletgreen: some of my paintings and drawings:



:bulletgreen: some of my photos:

http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/9916651/ Thu, 31 Aug 2006 08:52:56 PDT
GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH who gave me a suscriber account???????



THAT TOTALLY MADE MY DAY:):):):):):):):)

]]> =ashtrayxx <3 http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/9847829/ http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/9847829/ Fri, 25 Aug 2006 07:13:56 PDT shaped like songs.
i promise they are all very, very amazing. try them.
they are uploaded on my server so there shouldn't be any problem for you to download them. if you get a few, feedback would be appreciated:)

[coco rosie - butterscotch] (weird ass and b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l)

[devendra banhart - insect eyes] (hippie folk, unique voice, beautiful lyrics. i adore that song)

[mew - white lips kissed] (imagine a mix between sigur ros and pink floyd. yes, it's that good.)

[radiohead - wish you were here] (radiohead being mind blowing as always)

[wilco - how to fight loneliness] (just fucking depressing. it's in the girl, interrupted movie.)

[patrick wolf - bloodbeat] (a beautiful boy, his keyboard and twisted manic attacks)

[feist - mushaboom] (happy country-folk/jazz, might have heard it in the lacoste advert)

[supercar - aoharu youth] (super cute japanese post-rock/electro band. dreamy.)


enough for today. more to come, tres probably. ]]> =ashtrayxx mahabhaaaaarat http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/9795154/ http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/9795154/ Sun, 20 Aug 2006 16:47:55 PDT





oh btw, it represents krishna and arjuna before the huge battle with the kauravas and shit.







yeah you're totally lost now. ]]> =ashtrayxx arr http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/9591620/ http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/9591620/ Thu, 03 Aug 2006 20:38:37 PDT
i love pirates... ]]> =ashtrayxx survey shizzle:) http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/9552088/ http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/9552088/ Mon, 31 Jul 2006 09:12:03 PDT placebo's song, this picture. people have been calling me ashtray girl for years now, and i love that song.

2. What month were you born in?
april

3. Where do you live?
charlemagne, near montreal, quebec, canada.

4. Wallet:
blue hello kitty wallet that my boy offered me<3

5. Dream car:
*shrugs*

6. Toothbrush:
white and orange

7. Jewelry worn daily:
piercings, bracelets, rings and my watch.

8. Pillow Case:
right now it's light green.

9. Eyes:
greenish brown

10. Hair:
naturally quite wavy and poofy, but i straighten it most of the time. red red red. and some parts are dyed blond and dark brown.

11. Love:
ohhhh:)

12. Cologne/Perfume:
i only wear some body spray sometimes, hawaiian ginger smell.

13. CD in stereo:
crosby, stills, nash & young - déja vu

14. Piercings:
0 gauge lobe stretches x 2, normal ear holes x 2, tongue, nose, and lip.

W H A T A R E Y O U . . .

15. Wearing:
my pink skirt, undies and a bra.

17. Wanting:
to be with my love.

18. The last thing you ate?:
raspeberry flavoured yogurt.

19. Something you are afraid of:
the future?

20. Do you like candles?:
i love them. i wish i had more.

21. Do you like the taste of blood?
yeah i always drink my blood when i have a scratch or something. but too much is gross. and i wouldnt drink other people's blood. even though i did as a kid, because i seriously believed i was a vampire and hung out all the time in the graveyard. im not even joking:/

22. Do you believe in love?:
yes, i want to.

23. Do you believe in soul mates?
yes. i have definitely found people i know who could stick around all my life and which have very profound understanding of myself.

24. Do you sleep naked?:
almost all the time, even in winter. i prefer to turn the heat on instead of wearing something to bed.

25. Do you eat seafood?:
yes, i love seafood!

26. Do you remember your dreams?:
very often. i remember my dreams on a regular basis. i have been having very, very violent and creepy dreams this summer due the medication i am on.

27. Do you consider yourself a study freak?:
not at all. im a huge procrastinator. it's one of my worst faults.

28. Do you consider yourself a health nut?:
hmm. well, i stopped smoking, and i havent drank alcohol or taken drugs for a month. and i don't eat much junk food or drink pop, it makes me feel gross. i was vegetarian for a while, i am now eating meat a little, but not that much. i love fruits and veggies to death. but i don't exercise at all. so i couldn't say.

29. Do you like tattoos?:
yes. i wish i could get a small one.

30. Do you believe in miracles?:
hmmm.

31. Do you burn easily in the sun?:
yes. i cant stay eve 15 minutes outside without protection without burning.

32. Do you speak another language other than English?:
french, my first language. i also know decent spanish. i took 2 years german, 6 months greek and 2 years latin courses. i also learned some japanese and haitian creole by myself.

33. What's something you wish you could understand better?:
death and war.

34. Are you shy around a crush?:
yes, a lot. and i say stupidities:)

35. Do you have a crush on someone right now:
i'm deeply in love. we've been together for almost 8 months now, and i liked him months before. he's the only man i want to spend my life with.

37. If so, who?
my fat, lazy brown cat-panda, amninder fuckin' binapal :)

38. Got any plans for the weekend?:
i spend most of my weekends staying over at my best friend mylene's place. probably will do something similar next week end:) ]]> =ashtrayxx girls from seven eleven stay up all night http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/9490021/ http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/9490021/ Tue, 25 Jul 2006 12:54:21 PDT mood: hot
tune: the cure - boys don't cry (acoustic)


i saw mindless self indulgence for the second time a couple nights ago and i cannot get over the fact that they kick so much ass on a stage. jimmy urine thought my friend wanted to lick his face when she asked him to sign our tickets. and he also signed my ex roomie's left boob.

after we left the venue, i was yelling obsceneties and breaking stuff. and it felt so damn good. msi makes my iq drop times ten.

it was my first show since bright eyes last month. i can't believe i used to go to at least 2 or 3 shows a week at some point of my life.

it drained so much of my energy though. i slept 16 hours out of the past 24.

what else...the swings, the flowers, the lake. i'm making something for my love and watching japanese horror movies.

EDIT: i really want a tablet. ]]> =ashtrayxx televised war http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/9413198/ http://ashtrayxx.deviantart.com/journal/9413198/ Tue, 18 Jul 2006 07:47:23 PDT lebanon vs israel. iran and syria included in there. irak...
i never really believed we were on the verge of a third world war, except for now.
i feel so, so ashamed to be part of the human race.

i never really realized that i had so little chance to be born in a safe country like canada, and yet i have. our new prime minister is one of bush's friends, and puts a lot of money for the army, which is very different from the usual split of the budget. it is weird how they mention bush, blair and harper in the same sentences now.

hundreds of people died in the past few days in china and indochina, from natural disasters. we just had one entire week of incredible heat here, and it usually never lasts for more than 2 or 3 days. i'm used to think of the future of my children as something similar to the world i'm living in today, but i wonder if i'm not completely out of the track. the planet is slowly dying, no matter if we humans are or not.

keep sending rockets in space for the sake of preserving a human elite in the years to come and build them nice stations on the moon. keep forgetting the children of color who cannot afford a second chance, keep bombing them for no reason.

i guess i am no great mind, i guess i know too little to judge. i know the wild is cruel, and that human invented compassion. i guess i don't grasp yet the meaning of life. but it all seems so wrong to me.

i am very ashamed to be part of the human race today. ]]> =ashtrayxx