http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:astral-phoenix&section=today deviantART RSS for by:astral-phoenix en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Mon, 21 Dec 2009 14:58:38 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://astral-phoenix.deviantart.com/journal/11157632/ http://astral-phoenix.deviantart.com/journal/11157632/ Sat, 23 Dec 2006 02:57:49 PST

Wishing you all Love, Serenity and Joy,

Blessings,


Alex

]]> ~astral-phoenix http://astral-phoenix.deviantart.com/journal/6004709/ http://astral-phoenix.deviantart.com/journal/6004709/ Fri, 22 Jul 2005 12:54:14 PDT And there's always someone left without a chair.
The thing is, there is no actual need for a chair, only the conviction you need it- because these are the rules of the game, because the person with no chair is a "losser", and nobody likes to lose.

Loss.
What is it anyhow? How do you define "loss", how do you define "winning" ? By some rules of a silly game that someone invented who-knows-how-long-ago ?
From my point of view- I never owned a chair, never had a need for it either, and never actually played the game the way most people do... I always found it alot more fun to walk around or sit on the floor, or better yet on the fresh green grass

So if I never had a chair, I cannot logically be defined as a "losser" of this game...but for the people who play- that is exactly what I am.

Being without a chair is like living in a completely different world, and most people will certainly not connect to it.
I see it as freedom, as a world filled with potential, with possibility, where everything is possible.
People who play the chairs game cannot understand the "chairless" ones, they cannot think, feel and percieve outside the rules of their game...

I find it silly to follow some stupid rules of a completely and utterly pointless game, chasing some old, worn out chair - when there is so much beauty in the world...It's not an easy path, I must admit...But this is the only path worth walking for me.

* * * * * * *

I also thought about words, and how it seems that the more you speak about something, the farther it steers from its original meaning.
Words are something of this world, they are the main mean of communication we -as humans, have. There are so many things we experience daily that are simply beyond this world, even if we don't always realize it... And explaining it with words- which is from this world, creates a mixture, something not quite as the original experience... The more you try to explain- the more words ("this world" substance) you add to it- the harder it is to actually understand... Some things are indeed better left unsaid.

* * * * * * *

Another random thought I had is that I love people...in the game or out of the game, doesn't matter...Doesn't matter if they get me or not...I just love people. I love it when they let their kindness show, and open their hearts.I love that spark of light that lives in each of them. I love the fact most of them are not even aware of their true beauty...

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *
]]> ~astral-phoenix http://astral-phoenix.deviantart.com/journal/5817382/ http://astral-phoenix.deviantart.com/journal/5817382/ Sat, 02 Jul 2005 02:18:12 PDT I don't believe in pain
I don't believe there's nothing left
but running here again
I don't believe in promise
I don't believe in chance
I don't believe you can resist
the things that make no sense
I don't believe in silence
cause silence seems so slow
I don't believe in energy
if tension is too low
I don't believe in panic
I don't believe in fear
I don't believe in prophecies
so don't waste any tears
I don't believe reality
could be the way it should
but I believe in fantasy
the future is understood
I don't believe in history
I don't believe in truth
I don't believe there's destiny
but someone to accuse" ----from Run Lola Run


Have you ever felt, like you're breaking out of something ? You don't quite know what, you just know you're breaking it....and then you're out...And on the outside nothing seems to change, but you feel completely different.
This happens to me in stages, it seems I am constantly breaking out of something.
Like breaking a box, then finding there's another box I'm in , and breaking out of it too...and so on and on...It feels like dying and being born at the same time.
And on the outside...nothing changes yet everything changes. Things happen...You find answers to your questions in the most unexpected places . It feels like a state between sleep and waking, like a lucid dream...
And this breaking out, happens when you least expect it, triggered by little things such as a quote/book you read, or a song you heard, or something small that some person said. Suddenly when you see/hear it- something inside you cracks and falls appart. It does not happen gently, it happens like a huge explosion of amazing power.
And you feel like you are breathing again, you suddenly notice that what you thought was breathing before- was actually more like choking.
It's like you are realizing that you're dreaming- and you awake, and you realize that you are STILL dreaming only a different dream, and you wake from that too...what happens when the illusions end ?

It feels like you just want to breathe. I really don't want to do anything, be anywhere, want nothing but just be. It feels like I don't need to do anything...
On the one hand, I know I will (and am) do certain things in my life, in order to maintain a good quality of life-physically- like work and study...
On the other hand, it seems that everything I do, say, work for, it's all just a part of a game, of a dream... And while I am doing that, I am also standing and looking at myself from a side, and smiling (like when you're dreaming and you feel you are looking at yourself from a side kinda thing)- saying all I really need...is to Breathe.

******************

Please sign the ONE declaration , to help the poverty situation in africa - [link]


~---~---~---~---~---~---~---~---~---~---~
]]> ~astral-phoenix http://astral-phoenix.deviantart.com/journal/5786986/ http://astral-phoenix.deviantart.com/journal/5786986/ Wed, 29 Jun 2005 00:30:22 PDT
"Dear Friend:

Can we stop a child in Africa from dying every 30 seconds - from something as small as a mosquito bite? Can we help send millions of children to school for as little as $16 each - less than the cost of a CD? Can Americans speak in ONE voice - and make poverty history?

We can: Add your name to the ONE letter to President Bush, asking him to take the best opportunity we've ever had to help the world's poorest people help themselves.

In only two days, President Bush is expected to announce his plan - America's plan - for the G8 Summit. Will it be bold and historic, or small and cautious? YOU can help decide. From helping children in Africa get the hope of an education to stopping the spread of malaria and AIDS, we finally have the tools, resources and ability to fight poverty - and it's only a matter of will.

The will of eight men in a room. The will of a generous nation. The will of a compassionate people. What will the President say in 2 days, what will America do on July 6th at the G8?

Will you do your part today: Please ask three friends to sign onto the ONE letter to President Bush, and send him to the G8 on a wave of support for doing more to fight AIDS and extreme poverty.

It's an exciting time and historic opportunity. Join the over 250,000 Americans who have added their name to the ONE letter - and watch the G8 summit unfold knowing that you added your voice.

Thanks,

The ONE Team"

Please, help make a difference and sign here - [link]

I think this is the least we can do to help change the situation...And the worst thing one can do is be nonchallant about it and do nothing...

Thanks to everyone for reading and signing



Alex


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

]]> ~astral-phoenix http://astral-phoenix.deviantart.com/journal/5147976/ http://astral-phoenix.deviantart.com/journal/5147976/ Thu, 21 Apr 2005 11:52:28 PDT If only she would turn around and fly just 2 feet from the window...she would be able to easily get out through the open door.
just like humans... Afraid to move away, to take a risk and drift away from their temporary state of "peace" to find a permanent one. Resisting change while clinging on to the very uncomfortable stability, that in time makes them so numb, they start feeling convenient and used to it...

all those pretty bubbles....

Funny things we are....humans...

Like a fly in your room, that has lost it's way out. It sticks to the window but can't find the way back to the fresh air...And if you are kind enough to guide it out- it will certainly take you quite some time and effort...if you will succeed that is...Because it will resist with all it's might...

People are just like that...sticking to the fake light, even if the real one is just behind the corner...and chances are they won't listen to anyone trying to help them and guide them... simply because you can't really guide someone to "the light", they need to figure it out on their own.

That bee in the train...some guy didn't like her and killed her I wish I could open the window for her, but it was completely sealed...

I don't want to end up like this bee, I want to take chances, and drift and fly wherever the wind takes me, and arrive to new places and situations and deal with them, new chalenges.
I'm not afraid to let go, whatever comes has to go, such is life...nothing is permanent, everything passes. Other things come.
I want to experience life fully. To breathe, to feel, to think, to grow, to be born again and again...I just want to be.

]]> ~astral-phoenix http://astral-phoenix.deviantart.com/journal/3353687/ http://astral-phoenix.deviantart.com/journal/3353687/ Mon, 13 Sep 2004 10:19:08 PDT every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and attend them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house empty
of its furniture....
The dark thought, the shame, the
malice, meet them at the door
laughing...be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent as
a guide from beyond.


Jalaluddin Rumi ]]> ~astral-phoenix http://astral-phoenix.deviantart.com/journal/1523863/ http://astral-phoenix.deviantart.com/journal/1523863/ Fri, 12 Dec 2003 01:42:02 PST
NO, no, go not to Lethe, neither twist
Wolf's-bane, tight-rooted, for its poisonous wine;
Nor suffer thy pale forehead to be kiss'd
By nightshade, ruby grape of Proserpine;
Make not your rosary of yew-berries,
Nor let the beetle, nor the death-moth be
Your mournful Psyche, nor the downy owl
A partner in your sorrow's mysteries;
For shade to shade will come too drowsily,
And drown the wakeful anguish of the soul.

But when the melancholy fit shall fall
Sudden from heaven like a weeping cloud,
That fosters the droop-headed flowers all,
And hides the green hill in an April shroud;
Then glut thy sorrow on a morning rose,
Or on the rainbow of the salt sand-wave,
Or on the wealth of globed peonies;
Or if thy mistress some rich anger shows,
Emprison her soft hand, and let her rave,
And feed deep, deep upon her peerless eyes.

She dwells with Beauty--Beauty that must die;
And Joy, whose hand is ever at his lips
Bidding adieu; and aching Pleasure nigh,
Turning to poison while the bee-mouth sips:
Ay, in the very temple of Delight
Veil'd Melancholy has her sovran shrine,
Though seen of none save him whose strenuous tongue
Can burst Joy's grape against his palate fine;
His soul shalt taste the sadness of her might,
And be among her cloudy trophies hung. ]]> ~astral-phoenix http://astral-phoenix.deviantart.com/journal/1275253/ http://astral-phoenix.deviantart.com/journal/1275253/ Tue, 14 Oct 2003 08:07:49 PDT is pointing at me
i wanna spit in their faces
then i get afraid what that could bring
i got a bowling ball in my stomach
i got a desert in my mouth
figures that my COURAGE
would choose to sell out now

i've been looking for a savior
in these dirty streets
looking for a savior
beneath these dirty sheets
i've been raising up my hands
drive another nail in
just what GOD needs
one more victim

why do we crucify ourselves
every day i crucify myself
nothing i do is good enough for you
crucify myself
every day
i crucify myself
and my HEART is sick of being
in chains

got a kick for a dog
beggin' for LOVE
i gotta have my suffering
so that i can have my cross
i know a cat named easter
he says will you ever learn
you're just an empty cage girl
if you kill the bird

i've been looking for a savior
in these dirty streets
looking for a savior
beneath these dirty sheets
i've been raising up my hands
drive another nail in
got enough GUILT to start
my own religion

why do we crucify ourselves
every day i crucify myself
nothing i do is good enough for you
crucify myself
every day i crucify myself
and my HEART is sick of being in chains

please be
save me
i CRY

looking for a savior
in these dirty streets
looking for a savior
beneath these dirty sheets
i've been raising up my hands
drive another nail in
where are those angels
when you need them

why do we crucify ourselves
every day i crucify myself
nothing i do is good enough for you
crucify myself
every day i crucify myself
and my HEART is sick of being
in chains

why do we
crucify ourselves
everyday

never going back again
crucify myself
again you know
never going back again to
crucify myself
everyday

Tori Amos, Crucify ]]> ~astral-phoenix http://astral-phoenix.deviantart.com/journal/1063557/ http://astral-phoenix.deviantart.com/journal/1063557/ Wed, 13 Aug 2003 10:16:45 PDT
I will get over it



Alexandra ]]> ~astral-phoenix http://astral-phoenix.deviantart.com/journal/1007168/ http://astral-phoenix.deviantart.com/journal/1007168/ Tue, 29 Jul 2003 22:17:46 PDT If you wanna know anything - just ask




Alexandra
Wonderful artists that you MUST check out:



]]> ~astral-phoenix http://astral-phoenix.deviantart.com/journal/970102/ http://astral-phoenix.deviantart.com/journal/970102/ Mon, 21 Jul 2003 11:00:58 PDT
Just wanted to say that I'm tired of being a perfectionist... I can never be pleased with anything I do - especially when it comes to my art. I can like the work for about an hour and then all the imperfections just start dancing right in front of me and it's all I can see It's frustrating... Makes me think that I really don't deserve the credit I get... But on the other hand it keeps me going and drawing more and more to get better results and learn from mistakes.

Is anyone of you guys like that as well ? Or is it just me ?


BTW I have over 1000 views now yay for me lol
Thanks for your comments and favs and watches everyone !




Alexandra

p.s- please do check out the artists in my sig , you will not regret it
Spotlight goes to: and please check them out , their art work is beautiful and I believe they are very underrated here on deviantart.


Wonderful artists:





http://astral-phoenix.deviantart.com/journal/872095/ Tue, 24 Jun 2003 12:59:42 PDT
I am so hooked by this site - or to be exact - by the amazing artitsts I see here, I just cannot get enough !

Amazing works are uploaded all the time , and I don't have that much time to be online since I work most of the day , but when I am online - I'm always here

I love the comments you guys are leaving me, I am so flattered it encourages me to think that maybe I should go and study art proffesionally- I never did study it. I just always loved to draw since I can remember myself and I guess I developed with time... I'm just an amateur (lol I know it shows)

Anyways added 3 new drawings today , hope you like them

Foudn some really old stuff of mine - as old as 3-4 years ago , I might scan them ... that is if I get a scanner

So far I depend on the kindness of other people
s hearts lol ... I really need to buy a scanner lol


Alexandra ]]> ~astral-phoenix http://astral-phoenix.deviantart.com/journal/826110/ http://astral-phoenix.deviantart.com/journal/826110/ Thu, 12 Jun 2003 14:02:37 PDT I like this site, always was a bit of a lurcker and finally joined and uploaded some of my stuff.
Hope people will like it and comment more

I'm so damn sleepy ...it's 23:57 pm and I worked all day long ...
Tomorow I will draw all day long to finish my Angie drawing.
I made 2 new Angie drawings recently but they are too big to scan ... plus I don't have a scanner which is a bit of a problem lol. I will need to take photographs of them first then develope and then scan ... argh what a friggin mess !

I wonder how people have those "deviant ID" things on their pages ? I would like to add one for myself as well ... can anyone help me with that please ?

Anyways it's the weekend finally and time for some fun ! lol and I am off to bed now ...

Please leave comments guys I really love to read them !

Thanks,

Alexandra

]]> ~astral-phoenix