http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:ayarei&section=today deviantART RSS for by:ayarei en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Sun, 20 Dec 2009 21:46:03 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://ayarei.deviantart.com/journal/28526025/ http://ayarei.deviantart.com/journal/28526025/ Tue, 24 Nov 2009 11:09:43 PST

I’ve never thought much of my doodles that I’m painting on my basement walls (or my art work overall).

In progress are:

Urd from Ah! My Goddess.
Two depictions of Amaterasu from Okami, (all on the same wall, the wall itself is a deep blue.)
And a on a black wall is an Amida Buddha (think of the Daibutsu Buddha in Kamakura, Japan) in silver and white paint thus far…

The four that got painted over are:

Suzaku Kururugi’s Knightmare Frame the Lancelot from Code Geass
C.C. (in school uniform) from Code Geass
Lacus Clyne (holding pink haro) from Gundam Seed
X10A Freedom Gundam (half blown to bits, lol) from Gundam Seed - Episode 50

Some people that have seen the work in progress have asked me how much I’d charge to paint a mural for them. Or if I have a card (wtf?!) standing in line at the Home Depot paint counter. Its just a hobby… kinda time consuming… and I’d have to be in other peoples houses at their whim? Sounds tedious to me… that and I don’t think that I’m good enough to demand a justifiable amount. The time and supplies alone… geeze. Plus what if I see in my head isn’t what they see? One guy wants Malcom X (in the Boondocks drawing style) but also Andy Warhol’ish with multiple images in different colors. T_T

For fun I have no problem but when money is involved I’m squeamish. On another note I probably will not get a chance to finish my four paintings in progress… due to the fact that I either have to get a roommate or rent out my place (and I’m pretty sure not everyone wants giant anime characters, kanji or a big ass Buddha painted on the walls). Most likely they will all be painted over so that the basement looks “normal” and finished. Which makes me sad to think that I’ll never see what they would have looked like completed.

]]> ~ayarei http://ayarei.deviantart.com/journal/27464018/ http://ayarei.deviantart.com/journal/27464018/ Mon, 28 Sep 2009 09:04:29 PDT
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]]> ~ayarei http://ayarei.deviantart.com/journal/24079121/ http://ayarei.deviantart.com/journal/24079121/ Sun, 05 Apr 2009 16:09:16 PDT
Now I have to redo what I did last night. On an upside note the guys at the home depot paint countor want to see my progress ^_^; and Im their new best customer. lol

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]]> ~ayarei http://ayarei.deviantart.com/journal/22726943/ http://ayarei.deviantart.com/journal/22726943/ Thu, 22 Jan 2009 06:01:36 PST
End Rant
Time for the rat race.

]]> ~ayarei http://ayarei.deviantart.com/journal/22062565/ http://ayarei.deviantart.com/journal/22062565/ Fri, 19 Dec 2008 08:10:15 PST
I got out of the garage but could not make it out of the drive! Everything was so white couldnt see if there was a drift or how deep a drift could be. My car is low to the ground. The front bumper was actually pushing snow, instead of the snow going under the car. Couldnt go forward so tried to go backwards... then kinda spun my tires till I got sideways semi circle... put it in reverse again, took the traction system off, more spining, 1st and 2nd gears. Gerard came out and sholeved the snow away from my tires. 20 min later I made it back into the garage.

Called my boss and supervisor told them that I couldn't make it out. Now I sit here at my kitchen island watching the snow fall outside. Watching people get stuck in their cars. And watching the asswholes in the SUV's fly right on pass!

]]> ~ayarei http://ayarei.deviantart.com/journal/21472855/ http://ayarei.deviantart.com/journal/21472855/ Thu, 13 Nov 2008 16:39:31 PST _<. Between dealing with stress at work and having to work on the condo, I feel like im wearing myself out. Its always go go go go go! Bah! Every spare second i have is spent on running costs and trying to pick out stuff for "the condo". Work is work... errr... ever get that feeling you want to bang your head on your keyboard cause you just dont get WHY WTF'ing THINGS/PEOPLE make your job harder than need be? *coughs* this is a mini rant. I'm off to my condo to continue laying floors. Yes WE are laying the flooring ourselves cause its cheaper, saved about 1K on that.

]]> ~ayarei http://ayarei.deviantart.com/journal/21188002/ http://ayarei.deviantart.com/journal/21188002/ Mon, 27 Oct 2008 14:36:29 PDT
As for the condo that I purchased. Ripped out all of the carpet. Primed and re painted all of the rooms that needed to be painted (lower level room was left as is for the moment, off white never killed no body, but that will be taken care of in due time). Went with a very calming look, contempory, crisp slate inspired colors. The flooring that we ordered came in. My mom and I will be laying the floors ourselves, that saves about a grand. Still have to get a gas line installed for the stove, then I can buy the stove! Had to push back the date of delivery for the dishwasher and frig. Found out fighthing with the utilites is never fun. Got heat now! Once the condo is done we will be having a get together. And I can have my normal life back!

Today someone caused a major accident on the main road that my office sits off of. They hit a fire hydrant and power pole. Our power went out. Generator kicked on for our servers, call center, etc. But my group is not part of the network that is connected to the generator. So we sat around and waited. Two hours later... I was selected (without me knowing) to be placed at a computer that had power to do our groups work. Well... I didnt want to be there. After they finally set my ID to log in to a different computer. I couldnt do work. Why? Because I work off of two monitors. I was only working on one with this different computer and the monitor size could not support one of my programs! Finally they let me go home (after everyone else in my group left).

Well enough ranting, with no spell check. lol. Im aware I cant spell. Have to get over to my condo and start preping the doors to sand and paint.

]]> ~ayarei http://ayarei.deviantart.com/journal/20551686/ http://ayarei.deviantart.com/journal/20551686/ Thu, 18 Sep 2008 11:27:52 PDT
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]]> ~ayarei http://ayarei.deviantart.com/journal/19556939/ http://ayarei.deviantart.com/journal/19556939/ Wed, 23 Jul 2008 14:25:44 PDT
Edgy. Yea that describes me right now. Paranoid? Yes a little bit. My life has gone so wrong for so long that right now when its right, it feels kinda scary. I’m afraid. Of what? I don’t know. I have a job, I have the love of my life, I have almost everything that I’ve ever wanted. And it feels like I’m on a precipice. That this is the high point. That there is no where to go but down. How could life get any better?

Maybe my life has been chaotic for so long I don’t know what to do when its settled. Don’t know what to do with myself. Surviving through bull shit over and over, struggling to wake up every day, swimming towards the surface and not letting myself drown in misery. Now I’m at the surface. And I have no fucking clue what its like to be on the surface and not under it. I don’t know what its like to stay afloat. Yes I know how to float, but not at the surface. I know many many things, yet I don’t know a damn thing at the same time.

Happy and ignorant is something that I’ve never known. I’ve known things that go on. I’ve seen and been apart of things. Now I’m happy. But I’m not ignorant and it confounds me. I’m happy at the top. But what goes up always falls down. (Unless its in space but I’m not getting on that tangent at the moment.)

If I can learn to float at the surface and never sink again, maybe I can be happy forever. Maybe learning to float at the top is just like floating in a pool on a clear day. Floating on your back with nothing but blue surrounding you, no matter which way you look. Up or down or to the sides. Its all blue and all infinite and limitless.

]]> ~ayarei http://ayarei.deviantart.com/journal/18674201/ http://ayarei.deviantart.com/journal/18674201/ Thu, 05 Jun 2008 06:12:37 PDT 1. Post these rules.
2. Each tagged person must post 8 facts about themselves on their journal.
3. At the end, you have to tag 8 people and post their icons in the same journal.
4. Go to their pages and send a message saying you tagged them.
5. No tag-backs.


My Eight Facts
1. I drive way over the speed limit.
2. I love shinny things.
3. Black is one my favorite colors (always look good in black!)
4. I love to eat.
5. I love to sleep.
6. I love Gerard.
7. I buy nice things (alot).
8. I cant wait for the future to happen.

I'm not tagging anyone so take it if you want it.

]]> ~ayarei http://ayarei.deviantart.com/journal/18191687/ http://ayarei.deviantart.com/journal/18191687/ Tue, 06 May 2008 05:51:47 PDT
]]> ~ayarei http://ayarei.deviantart.com/journal/17940112/ http://ayarei.deviantart.com/journal/17940112/ Sun, 20 Apr 2008 08:17:33 PDT
In other news, Gerard is moving in come May. ^_^

]]> ~ayarei http://ayarei.deviantart.com/journal/17648671/ http://ayarei.deviantart.com/journal/17648671/ Wed, 02 Apr 2008 09:33:25 PDT
]]> ~ayarei http://ayarei.deviantart.com/journal/17423391/ http://ayarei.deviantart.com/journal/17423391/ Thu, 20 Mar 2008 09:32:54 PDT [link]

There is usually a big problem with the company when they have to sell off parts of their company or sell the whole thing. Seems very Media Play like… remember after Media Play before Best Buy owned it? Then dumped it? Few years later it fell apart? And the other parts of the company (i.e, Sam Goody and Sun Coast) were bought up by FYE. FYE has over priced crap.

I really don’t want that to happen to Borders. Its nice that Borders is different from Barnes and Noble. But shit happens when people cant get their heads out of the asses and realize that they don’t have enough money on the books to get to 2009. Seriously big shit goes down when a company stops giving its financial forecasts AND halts on paying dividends!!

And now back to my salad from Zoup.

]]> ~ayarei http://ayarei.deviantart.com/journal/17286070/ http://ayarei.deviantart.com/journal/17286070/ Tue, 11 Mar 2008 12:49:36 PDT
Ramblings, yes the inane ramblings while sitting at my desk at 3 something in the afternoon. Fuck the time change thank you very much. Everything just feels off. Downside to no longer be on meds, in general I sorta care? Lol. Rephrase. Things annoy me, I cant ignore them. Really wishing for a few Tylenol PM’s and my bed right about now.

Went and bought a canvas board, some paints and brushes. I have this great idea. Its Banksy inspired, contrasting, vivid, and in oil paints! If you don’t know about Banksy’s art go google him. And yes it is art. Back to smacking my head against the keyboard.

]]> ~ayarei http://ayarei.deviantart.com/journal/16960345/ http://ayarei.deviantart.com/journal/16960345/ Tue, 19 Feb 2008 11:09:27 PST
Found out that the dead line to be considered for the scholarships is in mid March. Ouch that’s close. Then came to find out that to be considered for the scholarships your previous GPA must have been at lest a 3.2. T_T Mine is a 2.9. Still kicking my self in the ass for not dropping those courses that I stopped attending my first term of college. Such a stupid little thing like that is messing me up now, no one mentioned dropping those courses to me. Oh well.

Just means I will have to wait till next year to apply. Another year waiting. But it can be looked at as a blessing in disguise since, I’ve only recently started doing portfolio pieces (haven’t got around to posting them here). Gives me time for my practice, to refine them, and a better selection of what to submit in 2009. Could still apply…. But I’d love to at least have the chance for a scholarship, and not be outright skipped over. Its freakin expensive!!! And I’d rather not incur that extreme amount of student loans. Yes there is financial aid, but because of my job for the past year that would work against me in the aspect of financial aid.

So one year to wait, one year more at OCC, one more year to save money, and then… We’ll see what happens in 2009. A year really isn’t that long… especially as I get older time goes faster. ^_^

*edit*make that a 3.0 GPA for a transfer student. I'm off by 0.1 ggrrrr....

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]]> ~ayarei http://ayarei.deviantart.com/journal/16225135/ http://ayarei.deviantart.com/journal/16225135/ Wed, 02 Jan 2008 13:55:48 PST
Co worker comes over.

Co worker: "Oh.. thats nice it looks like one of those characters on TV.."

Me: "huh"

Co worker: "you know like dragon ball z."

Me: >_> *death glare*

On my lunch break I did a sketch of Priss from BGC Tokyo 2040. How the fuck does Priss look like Goku?!!!!

End Rant.

]]> ~ayarei http://ayarei.deviantart.com/journal/15677012/ http://ayarei.deviantart.com/journal/15677012/ Mon, 26 Nov 2007 09:57:10 PST
New goal before 2007 is over. Finish ALL of my unfinished works (except paintings, those take way to long). Plug in the pencil sharpener, find the blending stumps, and open the windows! (As not to choke on the Krylon Fixatif) I’m back!!!

]]> ~ayarei http://ayarei.deviantart.com/journal/15099132/ http://ayarei.deviantart.com/journal/15099132/ Wed, 17 Oct 2007 09:20:46 PDT
Graduated from HS. Went to community college. Four years later I have 32 credits. I've constantly toyed with the idea of pursing art. Two years ago I finally declared my major as business admin. This past year I was accepted to OU for their Finance program. One problem... ONE REALLY BIG PROBLEM. I must be retarted at math! T_T Why! Oh why in the world did I end up liking money, but unable to memorize mathematic equations *smacks head on desk* I'm already failing my math class this term.

Its gone from art, to nothing, web design, to nothing, business, to wanting to be a Marine, to going for Finance... and now I'm at a block yet again. Almost makes me want to cry.

I worry that I will end up in a job I hate or thats a dead end. I also worry that if I ever got myself into art seriously... that I would be in horrid amounts of debt from student loans... even if I would have financial aid and scholarships... its really expensive! And what if I went for art and then ran into a dry spell. Having no muse can really suck.

Theres just something to picking up a brush... and watching it glide across the canvas, blending the pigments together... thats really entertaining and calming.

]]> ~ayarei http://ayarei.deviantart.com/journal/15013006/ http://ayarei.deviantart.com/journal/15013006/ Thu, 11 Oct 2007 10:03:10 PDT
The building is on lockdown. Someone robbed a bank near by. Why does things like that no longer surprise me?

]]> ~ayarei http://ayarei.deviantart.com/journal/13692379/ http://ayarei.deviantart.com/journal/13692379/ Wed, 11 Jul 2007 07:25:07 PDT
Now on to a new topic. Men. This is NOT an all out rant/ “I hate men” kinda of spiel. Over the past week I have talked to two different females, and half of the things we talked about were men. One was positive, and the other was negative about men. And I told them both the same thing. If you want your life to be truly fulfilling, if you want kids, if you want the nicer things in life, be sure that you are able to give yourself the things that you want, and not need a man to give you those things. Men are not required to have a good life. It could possibly hold true that both sexes would be a lot more stress free if they didn’t have to deal with each other. But that will never happen.

Things in life are not permanent, people change, eyes wander, and couples fight about money. There is no denying that two of the things a human needs in life to have a really good life, are knowledge and money. If you have knowledge (not necessarily a degree, a trade skill counts too) you are able to make more money, that in turn enables a person to do more than just survive. Ignorance is a prison. If a woman is ignorant to the fact that she should be responsible for herself, and that no one is obligated to take care of her. She is bound by a personal prison of ignorance and denial. Even if the relationship is strong and healthy, shit still can happen. Being aware of what can happen should be every woman’s responsibility. If a man leaves, then its just that, he left. Men are not the center of the universe nor should they be the entire world to any woman. Love is good. But being able to be an independent person with or without a lover is VERY important.

“One, who loves you, as a human being ought to be loved, will be willing to do what you ask, but only if what you ask is morally acceptable.” Think that over. Now everybody should know what is morally acceptable, not what is relatively moral. BIG BIG difference there. Morality is not relative, it’s a constant. Women are human they should be loved as a human ought to be loved. Women are not property, possessions, hoes, whores, bitches, chicks or trophies. Women deserve to be respected as equals.

Let me just say this. That if a man has hurt you. Then look at it as his defeat. If a man leaves you. Look at it as he is the one now abandoned. If your man stays then make sure that he isn’t your world, and the he doesn’t warp you individual identity. Love is good, love should be kind. Humans learn by two methods. Gaining knowledge or by brutal, excruciating painful experiences. “It is better to have loved and to have lost then to never have loved at all” is true. Losing another persons love is painful. Yet it serves a purpose of gaining knowledge by way of experience. Shit happens. And then life goes on.

]]> ~ayarei http://ayarei.deviantart.com/journal/13164538/ http://ayarei.deviantart.com/journal/13164538/ Thu, 31 May 2007 13:45:03 PDT
Speaking of tired. I am extremely tired right now. But I don’t have anything else to do so I figured to keep myself awake and some what entertained I would write.

I asked my philosophical friend Ru what element he thought himself to be, based from his persona. His answer, was either water or fire. But he couldn’t pick between the two. Fire and Water can both be extremely close, but have certain qualites that are polar opposites of each other. I know that I am like water.

Water can be calm, forceful, luke, hot or cold, changing its shape and form, from the steam that burns, to the ice that cools, but can always change back to its docile form.

And I am now officially rambling. Some people might say that if I have nothing to write, than why write? I write just because I can. Kind of like drawing. Some people may ask me, why I draw when I don’t take it seriously most of the time. I do it just because I can.

Last night in my ethics class we covered “Willed Ignorance.” How people willing keep themesleves ignorant and opress their own freedom, by willing themselves to not be educated when they have the oppurtunities to have an education. Now let me also mention that my professor is a… geriatric fellow that looks like he has always just come from the golf course… back in 1970. His age shows in the mundane happenings of class, but once he has started his lecture it is easy to acknowledge why he is more than qualified to teach such a class. I just got way off topic.

Back to topic. Willed Ignorance. Pursing ones life to the fullest to obtain happiness can happen through knowledge, knowledge happens by experience. So lets say there a people that disdain reading or writing, or just even have an agrumentive conversation to obtain another individuals few… these people are willing thesmselves to avoid knowledge, thus making themselves miserable. I am going to make a cliched statement now. Okay ready!? It is better to have loved, and to have lost, then to have never loved at all. Think about...

Next topic. On Monday I was so close to buying a Wii while I was at Best Buy (a.k.a. the evil empire). The sales guy was really trying to push me into buying one. Note: hard sales don’t work on me, I’ve worked in retail, I’ve worked in media, Hell I have worked for best buy, I know that the sales people there are not on commission. But still, the hard sales is not a good tatic. Old people fall pray to it, wave a flyer around and start spouting prices and discounts, people can fall for it. I’ve been on that side. I don’t like listening to it, it is more likely to make me walk away. Profound thought! Teach the sales people how to treat their customers like humans, it works trust me, I was a top saler in my last retail job. Its called being personable. My next job maybe I should work something that pays in tips instead….

I swear I dont know why Word didnt catch my spelling errors, sorry ^^'

]]> ~ayarei http://ayarei.deviantart.com/journal/12801522/ http://ayarei.deviantart.com/journal/12801522/ Tue, 01 May 2007 10:04:47 PDT
I’ve been thinking a lot (heh… no surprise there!) How toxic people are towards each other, their environment, and their own bodies. Hmm… is it because a pop culture society promotes the fad thing of the moment? Is it easier to conform to what is the social norm? To follow what has offered as the “truth”? To become so desensitized to the suffering in the world, to live a life ignorant in supposed bliss? How can any of that be a healthy thing?!

A nation of fast fixes, magical pills, get rich quick schemes and hooking up…

I am not going to sit atop my little soap box and say that all of these things are so very wrong, and that I have not been a part of it.

What happened to decency? What about the power of mind of body? What about, what about… so many things….

To start a change only one person is needed, then a snowball effect could take place. If I started with myself, and if I could help another person, and then they in turn helped someone else… there is a HUGE difference between self sacrificing ones self for someone else and helping another person. To help… without being destructive… to give… without giving ones self away.

Life is about living it. How can possessions be self fulfilling? Aren’t memories and experiences worth so much more?

]]> ~ayarei http://ayarei.deviantart.com/journal/11784260/ http://ayarei.deviantart.com/journal/11784260/ Mon, 12 Feb 2007 10:04:26 PST
I haven’t posted anything new in awhile because I haven’t really drawn anything… but that changed last night. I saw this dress in a wedding magazine (I am not thinking about getting married but Bunny and our other friends were reserving the next Harry Potter book, so I wandered over to the magazine wrack, thumbed thru it, and saw this awesome dress.) and just had to try and recreate it. So I blew over fifty dollars at Utrecht yesterday getting new markers. I wanted Copic but ended up with Prisma instead. Maybe later tonight I will post the “dress” on here. I have to get in the grove of things again. My hand is stained black… my co-workers kept asking me how I stained my hand. I kinda don’t want to tell them that its from drawing, cause I swear business people see artist as “strange”. To put it nicely… well my lunch hour is over now, back to the reports.

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]]> ~ayarei http://ayarei.deviantart.com/journal/10221670/ http://ayarei.deviantart.com/journal/10221670/ Fri, 29 Sep 2006 03:11:40 PDT
So yea I may have over 100+[friends.[link] ] Yes I do admit to the fact that I have added a few random people into my friends list. Some are co-workers or former co-workers but they are all around cool people and I don’t mind being associated with them. the whole six degrees of separation, I think its a theory that is feasibly accurate. Everyone knows that one person that is a super connector. They guy or girl that knows everyone or knows of everyone within your metropolitan area. Is it a bad thing to know this person? No! hell it’s a great thing! It may be a more beneficial thing to know this person the further they (the super connector) advance themselves. Riding ones coat tales? Maybe. But helping other people, and being helped by those people is a beneficiary thing for all involved in the social latter. Socializing maybe hard for some people. Hell its hard for a lot people. They can be who they want to be online, but in real life they are different. There have been people who have stolen my pictures and posed as me. THAT PISSED ME OFF! They has been art theft online. I will use Youkai Yume [[link] ] as an example. There are people out there that recognize her style of art and call out the art thieves. The problem with online networking is people can say who they are, make up identity’s, be imposters…and usually get way with it, unless they come across vigaliant site administers and such.

]]> ~ayarei http://ayarei.deviantart.com/journal/9954939/ http://ayarei.deviantart.com/journal/9954939/ Sun, 03 Sep 2006 19:02:31 PDT ~ayarei http://ayarei.deviantart.com/journal/9822347/ http://ayarei.deviantart.com/journal/9822347/ Wed, 23 Aug 2006 00:11:56 PDT ~ayarei http://ayarei.deviantart.com/journal/9814917/ http://ayarei.deviantart.com/journal/9814917/ Tue, 22 Aug 2006 11:00:38 PDT ~ayarei