deviantART: by:aylazato

Being single

~aylazato — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 10:01:24 PDT

Well since last time I got back with allan only for him to leave me on September 10th, distance was a problem for him and he was totally over me (the next day he asked out a girl he liked). Someone who's "Dark" apparently his type is girls with short hair, and emo. I don't understand why he dated me then for 8 months and proposed to me. As of now we're just friends but Im heartbroken and don't plan on dating anyone, but I do plan to go up on my birthday (October 3rd) to get my stuff back and give him his shirt,necklace and his overcoat he gave me (I really liked that overcoat I need to get my own some day, I felt badass in it lol) and maybe the engagement ring if he wants that back too. I feel that he wasted my time and I've been really depressed and need someone to talk to. So I'm going to charge my phone tonight and turn my cell back on tomorrow so if anyone wants to call me my cell phone number is 716-9764 I could really use a friend to hang out with since the past 6 days I've been crying my eyes out.

Single once again

~aylazato — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 00:13:37 PDT

Well Im still in shock but, my fiance left me because he said that I wasn't worth his time anymore. Guess he wants someone better than me but I hope he finds what he's looking for.

Craziness

~aylazato — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 23:00:09 PDT

Well I haven't been on as often as I like since my playstation 3 blocks me to view anything on deviantart. But Im using my mom's laptop since I'm doing a couple online classes to do something while I wait to move to Mesa which unfortantely won't be til next year. But I do Intend to get Married in Janurary of next year to my Fiance Allan.

But Anyways I broke my foot on May 31st but didn't go to the hospital til the following day because my family didn't think I broke my foot, I had surgery June 9th to have a screw or whatever put in my foot to force the bone to heal correctly and will be off my foot for 8 weeks and Im scared to walk when I get the cast off because I don't want to break the screw.

Also I want to say happy birthday to Robyn, Happy 22nd birthday. Hope you have fun. I love ya

Update

~aylazato — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 14:40:20 PST

I've been so busy I forgot to update in awhile so here it is, I'm engaged to a great guy named Allan. I also plan to move to Mesa hopefully by July (its where my fiance lives).

He's gone

~aylazato — Sat, 08 Nov 2008 11:29:28 PST

Well jake moved out on November 1st from his mom's house and I just found out that he left town trying to avoid paying child support even though I've been nice enough not to ask him for anything but now that he left town I'm going for child support doesn't matter where he is he's going to pay child support. His attitude has changed so much this past year, he is going to miss watching his daughter grow up but it's his loss.

Trick or treat anyone?

~aylazato — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 11:19:38 PDT

I was wondering if anyone is going trick or treating this year. I'm gonna be taking meredith out for a little while. She gonna be a cat and I'm gonna be a ninja like always.

5 or 6 months

~aylazato — Sat, 27 Sep 2008 18:34:35 PDT

looks like in 5 or 6 months my mom's work might close and if that happens, me and meredith will be moving to california with my mom and stepdad. I'm not happy about it but I have family there; I'm currently doing the child support thing and I'm not sure when it will go in affect but when it does I'll get money for this month as well as next month when it finishes. I feel kinda guilty since jake will probably paying maybe 200 dollars a month.
Some of the money will probably go to my mom to help her pay some of the bills.

-update-

My birthday is this friday and I've asked my family if they were to get me anything for my birthday is to get diapers for my daughter... I'm sooo embarressed to have to ask for diapers for my daughter on my birthday. I feel like a horrible and useless mother to my daughter, I hate myself that I can't get a job to support my 4 month old daughter.

single

~aylazato — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 20:51:19 PDT

my new bf of 6 days just dumped me because he says he not ready to be in a relationship where theres a kid involved. I'm pissed because now I feel like I'm a complete whore and I feel worthless.I hate myself right now..

new bf

~aylazato — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 16:24:09 PDT

finally I have a bf after being single since december 29th, anyways my bf's name is tommy and he is so cute. I'm so excited and I'm kinda in shock that he likes me, at least I won't be single on my b-day..

1 month

~aylazato — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 15:08:46 PDT

Well its been a month since jake has seen his daughter or has even called to see how she is doing. So now I've decided to make him pay child support, he has been too busy hanging out with his friends and talking to his g/f. I'm gonna have fun taking child support from him, he is an asshole anyways.

My 20th birthday

~aylazato — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 15:17:25 PDT

In one month from today I'll be 20 years old I'm so excited, I can't believe I'll be 20 though I won't be able to go out but thats fine with me.

Internet issue

~aylazato — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 21:52:52 PDT

I have wireless internet at my house for my sister's laptop but with my ps3 I could get it as well.. But on Monday the 4th I think my sister's did something to the internet so where now I can't access it with my ps3 and since my sister doesn't like to share her laptop I won't get internet unless I'm over at my ex's house. Oh and sometime this week or next week my daughter will be getting x-rays done and other things done to see if she has what I had which if she does she'll need surgery. Which I'm not so worried about I mean I had the surgery done but the thing is meredith will need to be at least 20 pounds to have it done if she has what I had. See the thing is I had the surgery when I was 7 years old horrible experince for me I remember constantly being sick. I'm worried about her having surgery so young, if she winds up having the reflux thing I will have to take her up to phoenix but I'm just hoping that she doesn't. I'll let everyone know in a week that if I come over to my ex's house again If i'm not back in a week everyone important has my cell number if you wanna call me to check on meredith..

hospital

~aylazato — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 13:32:58 PDT

I took meredith to the hospital last night she's fine now, her heart was beating faster than normal and her doctor freaked me out saying that she might need to be airlifted. The entire time I was crying my eye's out it was the worse feeling in the world, but she just has a bladder infection which made me so happy that nothing was wrong with her heart but she might have what I had so kind of reflux thing and if she does then its all my fault. hereditary or whatever that word means I really hope she doesnt have what I have because it was horrible for me I didn't have surgery til I was about 8 years old and I was always sick.

3000 page views

~aylazato — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 21:05:03 PDT

I wanna draw something for hitting 3000 page views but I'm not sure want though, I was thinking about drawing something to do with Dragon ball z. If anyone has seen Dragon ball z, what character do you suggest and many should be in the picture.

attention

~aylazato — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 22:55:14 PDT

wanna know who I am and what I'm into, I'll list it for you.
1. My full name Brittany Lynn Luna
2. I have 1 daughter named Meredith Lynn Luna
3. I'm currently 19
4.I'm stubborn that it gets me into trouble
5.I like making things about it makes me happy
6.I'm miserable without jake
7.I dream of getting married to the man of my dreams
8.I love Dragon ball z
9.I'm not an anime freak
10.Only games I've played are FF tactics, VII, XI, XII and any Dragon ball z game.
11. I have 1 tattoo
12.When I'm alone I cry myself to sleep because I'm not with guy I wanna spend the rest of my life with
13.I've only dated 4 guys in my entire life in order they are justin, zach, clint and Jacob
14. I've only slept with 2 guys Matt who I slept with once before I met Jacob and of course Jacob.
15. My name is haruhi
16. When it comes to being "Charmed" I currently only have one sister I know that will be there for me no matter what.

Almost 2 months

~aylazato — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 21:26:00 PDT

Next Wednesday, Meredith will be 2 months old which means her first shot.. She's gonna wind up being sick because apparently baby's get sick from shots which sucks, so I of course will be taking care of her and will be stuck inside my house even longer than I would like. I hope she's better by the time august 1st rolls around though so I can go to the movies to see the third mummy movie. I love mummy movies, well I like anything egyptian and anything with dragons which is perfect because the third mummy movie has dragons in it.. Yay!!!

But anyways I won't have my cell phone this weekend since my mom is giving it to my sister so she can take it to Vegas this weekend, I wish I go leave this town and go to Vegas for a day.. I'm irresponsible that's why I'm not allowed anywhere. My sister Brooke can go out of town with two guys.

Drawing and random things

~aylazato — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 21:41:03 PDT

Well I've decided to start drawing again, trying to anyways. But I don't have a scanner so I won't be putting anything up so its really pointless, but I will be trying to improve my crappy drawings. My drawings are like stick figures compared to everyone else's which makes me wanna try harder. I try and draw things in my head but I can't to get it down on paper, it winds up being completely different.

But anyways my daughter Meredith will be 6 weeks on Monday. I'm still in shock that I'm a mom, its still weird to me like, I can't act like a kid anymore. Which sucks because I'm slowly trying to grow up but its still hard to realize that Meredith is completely dependent on me.

Other than that I think I might have my first girlfriend, her name is Yuri. I've known her since before I went to Desert Tech; But anyways I asked her out, she never gives me the answers I wanna hear but I'm pretty sure we're dating.I'm her first girlfriend as well she doesn't have a problem with who she's dating, she's afraid of what her family might think of it. We've been together secretly for maybe a week and a half almost two weeks.

Bored

~aylazato — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 08:49:25 PDT

Lately whenever Meredith is sleeping I should be sleeping but I constantly think about stuff. Like over the past four years I've realized that I've never really had anyone to hang out with, I've had friends but never really had the chance to hang out with them... I'm not really much fun anyways to tell ya the truth, the fact that I'm quiet doesn't help either and I never know what to say. I also feel out of place like I don't belong I don't know why I'm not outgoing its just ever since I was little my mom's never approved of me having friends. I still don't know why I listen to her, I mean I don't like my step-dad touching my daughter and my mom throwing a fit and doesn't wanna touch or even look at Meredith. She makes me feel like a horrible mother and I don't a say on how to raise her. I would move but of course I don't own anything and wouldn't able to bring anything with me but Meredith's stuff.

-update-
My brother is an asshole, reason I say this is because I got pictures of Meredith printed out for birth announces (my mother's idea). But anyways I asked my mom who she was sending them to and my brother said that she would send them out to child rapists (don't know if I spelled it right) but ya I got pissed but I can't lay a finger on him, and he knows it thats why he said what he did. My mom just told my little brother that its not right to say things like that and thats all she said, she didn't ground him, didn't yell or anything. Which in turn pissed me off, I mean come on I forget to do the dishes one day and I'm grounded for a week, he says something horrible and nothing..

1 month old

~aylazato — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 12:35:18 PDT

tomorrow my daughter will be a month old and its just unbelievable ya know. I can't believe a month has gone by so fast its just like I brought her home yesterday I love her so much.

Meredith

~aylazato — Sun, 01 Jun 2008 11:00:04 PDT

My little girl is already 10 days old and its amazing being a mom, she's such a good little girl and I'm still adjusting to the sleeping when she's sleeping thing but I have gotten some sleep. Its really hard to believe that she's 10 days old because even though it hasn't been long I remember them placing her on my tummy to see her. Its the greatest feeling in the world to see someone who needs you and will be depending on you for everything.
She's my little angel, she filled a hole in my heart that I didn't even know existed. I'll never stop loving my baby girl.

The baby

~aylazato — Mon, 26 May 2008 14:58:45 PDT

Having the baby on friday overwhelmed me with joy, I can't get enough of her. But because I got a fever while having her, they had to keep us til yesturday which is fine but I'm happy to be home. For the first night home last night was hard for me which I knew it would be of course I cried of course because I had to do it by myself. Tonight as far as I know jake is coming over to visit his daughter which means I get to sleep for an hour and for anyone in town who wants to come see her let me know in a note and we can figure something out.
I'm gonna head back to bed completely exhausted still.

So far nothing

~aylazato — Wed, 21 May 2008 20:39:16 PDT

today's my due date and still no baby, she's being stubborn and its killing me. And her kicking seems to be more powerful the past couple days, like she's messing with me that she finds it amuses to kick me from where's she's currently at. But anyways if I don't have the baby by monday I'll be checking into the hospital around 4pm. The usual time it takes for first time moms is 12-14 hours of labor so I'll be there for awhile abously and I have a cell phone now and I'll give it to anyone who needs it. If there interested in checking up on me while I'm in the hosptial or the baby and stuff like that, I'll only plan on using my cell phone for emergnacys

Tomorrow's my due date

~aylazato — Tue, 20 May 2008 17:44:40 PDT

My due date is tomorrow and so far nothing, and if I still haven't gone into labor normally by monday the 26th I'll be heading to the hosptial to be induced. I'm scared that my I'm gonna be having this baby any day. About being alone, at the hosptial sure my mother will be there of course but other than her no one will know that I'll be in the hospital having the baby.

may 21st

~aylazato — Fri, 09 May 2008 14:15:47 PDT

well in about 12 days i'm due, I'm really nervous about her coming. I'm just happy that she'll be coming now than later in summer. Jake will be involved of course he'll come over to my house and watch her tuesdays and thursdays, just so I can get some sleep. But I don't really want our daughter to leave the house because I still need to get my car fixed I have no air conditioning in it. Also my bedroom is finally finished and I have a lock on it so no one can get into my bedroom but me. I like it because my mom can't get in there and bother me or the baby. When the baby is born I'm gonna try and get sole-custdoy of her so then I don't have to worry about jake taking her away from me. But me and jake are getting along just fine right now, he wants to be in his daughters like which makes me happy that he at least cares about her.

Getting close to the end

~aylazato — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 21:20:17 PDT

This Wednesday I'll be 36 weeks along, I'm happy that this pregnancy is almost over and I can't wait to see my little girl. Everything is going well between me and Jake, he's been letting me come over. I miss being with him of course but all I'm trying to concentrate on the baby. I just can't believe how fast time has flown by, I'm nervous tho about the taking her home and if I'm doing things right. I guess the scared thing is normal, being pregnant is best thing thats ever happened to me. My baby is gonna change me for the better.

Nothing new

~aylazato — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 16:14:13 PST

Currently 7 months pregnant and I'm keeping her of course I have come to the conculsion that since me and jake split, he doesn't deserve to see his daughter. If people think thats wrong than who cares he's still acting stubborn so as long as he is acting the way he is, he will never see his daughter.
Oh and its been 2 months since we broke up and I'm doing fine currently I'm not over him completly but I'm getting there.

my mom's dog died at 3 months old

~aylazato — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 08:01:30 PST

well this morning a coyote grabbed the smallest of the 2 dogs my mom got her name was bella. There were 2 coyotes one inside my yard that grabbed bella and another on the otherside waiting and my mom ran out there screaming and when i got out there bella was already dead. They grabbed by the throat and they dropped her to let everyone know bella was the tiniest of the litter and was only 2 pounds thats why they grabbed her instead of her sister bonita who is 2x her size..We've only had the 2 puppies for almost 6 weeks and I blame myself for bella's death cuase I should've went out there when my mom woke me up 5 minutes before bella died and i could've saved her. And my mom is still crying about it and I just feel so bad cuase its all my fault someone shouldve been out there since its winter and all, and since its winter coyotes would be out looking for food.

1 year

~aylazato — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 12:33:22 PST

Well today is one year for me and jake, Im really happy that he's stayed for this long.

My birthday is coming

~aylazato — Mon, 01 Oct 2007 07:35:24 PDT

Well my birthday is this wednesday and i'll be 19 im not sure if im happy about it or not.. This year for my birthday im gonna be avoiding my family at all cost, just cause my step-dad wanted to plan something for my birthday but i rather have it blow up in his face..
So for my birthday i'll be hanging out with my bf, 10 months with him have been wierd i guess just for the way we act around each other..

Control

~aylazato — Sat, 15 Sep 2007 15:52:38 PDT

well yesturday jake went in and tried to get his permit and failed which i was happy about...Cause i don't trust guys who drive never did and never will..Guys who drive can cheat and I just rather have jake not driving so i can watch him..I don't wanna deal with anymore guys shit, because jake doesn't drive its the only control i got and the upper hand in our relationship, even tho he says he'll never cheat i just can't believe that.

my dog died

~aylazato — Thu, 09 Aug 2007 10:43:32 PDT

well this morning at 8:30 my dog scruffy died, we we're taking him to the vet cause he's been sick and he just passed away....He was only 2 and a half years old and the vet says that he kidneys must of failed cause he couldn't go to the bathroom, he wouldn't move from he's room..
My moms been crying hers eyes out, I've been crying to, its was just so horrify that I just can't have another dog or even look at my other dog gizmo who's a year old..
Gizmo has notice over the past hour that scruffy isn't here any more and he looks sad and the vet says it gonna be normal for gizmo to be sad that his companion is gone..
But anyways i can't even touch gizmo cause it makes me think of what scruffy looked like lying dead in front of me..So as of now im moving out i just cant stand it either im moving in with my dad or my bf...

8 months

~aylazato — Sat, 28 Jul 2007 17:56:59 PDT

8 months today for me and jake,*sigh* he is so happy to be in this relanship..Even though im stubborn as hell he still continues to love me and be with me...Anyways i recently started playing final fantasy again in server asura 20whm/10rdm, let me put it this way i will always prefer playing final fantasy XI than WOW..Even thou i got a lvl 40 hunter night elf on wow..

7 months

~aylazato — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 15:39:38 PDT

well ya I know its only been 7 months with jake its just I gotta do a journal ever month now on how long Im with him...Even thou he's a dork..hehe but I love him with all my heart...

6 months

~aylazato — Tue, 29 May 2007 00:02:33 PDT

Yesturday 5/28 was 6 months for me and Jake, Im so happy that we're together this is the longest and by far the best relationship I've will ever be in. I actually can't believe time's gone by so fast, I mean It seems like I just started school but now I'm graduated and out of school for good.

I honestly can't wait til me and Jake hit a year, when I'm with jake no one else exists, he completes me and I love that when I'm upset or when Im down he's there when one one else is..

And one last thing Jake, I want to let you know that I'm always going to love you and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you.
*my boyfriend*

Questions...^-^

~aylazato — Thu, 24 May 2007 12:23:58 PDT

I'll answer with something random about you.
2- I'll dare you to try something.
3- I'll say a color I associate with you.
4- I'll tell you something I like about you.
5- I'll tell you something I always remember about you / a first memory about you.
6- I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7- I'll ask you something I always wanted to ask you.
8- If I do this for you, you must put this in your journal.

P.S. I got a graduation party got 485 dollars and a PS3 and two games with it, im soooo excited, I've been wanting a PS3 forever and now I got one...

Graduating

~aylazato — Wed, 23 May 2007 17:18:28 PDT

Tommorow I'll finally be graduating high school finally.Which means I can finally move out and my mom has no say in it, which I don't think she'll notice Im gone anyways because of her boyfriend.So ya Im finally free and I don't have to deal with my mom or have to even have to deal with her again.

But anyways I'll be free to hang out with anybody who wants to just call me.

My phone

~aylazato — Mon, 30 Apr 2007 20:25:07 PDT

Hehe I got my phone today which Im extremely happy about but I requested for me to keep the same number I have. I know a couple ppl already have my current number so whoever doesn't have can just ask for it, under one condition you must respect me and my right to change my number if you constantly calling me.Whoever doesn't have my number can just comment in this journal to get it..

Oh and currently Im sick,I got sick on saturday and ever since then I've been dizzy and It feels like Im gonna lose all my organs, I mean when I've gotta sick it was never as bad as I have it right now.

Oh and on Saturday was me and Jake's 5th month anniversary, It seems so much longer like we knew each other forever.I wanna give thanks to my big sister koto its because of her that me and jake are together..Here's something that might interest you but the wierd thing between me and jake is apparently our moms were friends in high school together and I met jake when I was younger and somehow fate brought us together (and a little help from Jenn).

Mathlympics today

~aylazato — Wed, 25 Apr 2007 16:41:43 PDT

*eye twich*
The Mathlypics suck ass only 5 kids from DT went me, jake and 3 other ppl..I went for geomtry, jake went for algebra I and the other 3 went all for algebra II. All five of us are great at math but yet no medals for us...*sigh* the high school got all the medals execpt for 3...and they brought 15 (3 for each subject)..But after doing the mathlympics I will never do math again, I mean I really good in geomtry but the mathlympics made me feel stupid I didn't understand any of the questions...

Disneyland

~aylazato — Wed, 18 Apr 2007 17:42:39 PDT

Soo not cool Im going to fucking disneyland, I leave tommorrow for it and Im taking my bf jake, my sister is taking her bf jimmy and my mom is bringing her bf..But its soo happens that jimmy got almost everybody sick first he got my sister then she got my mom and her bf sick which they got my sick...The only one that hasn't gotten sick was jake(darn you stupid bastard,Jk Jk)

But anyways yesturday because I started to get sick my mom took me to the docter and they had to give me a shot in my ass which wasn't very pleasent once so ever..*eye twich*

I won't get my cell til next week which pisses me off so I plan on giving my current number to anybody before 4pm tommorrow(thats when I leave) we'll be back sunday night..But if anybody wants they can call me(well only robyn can call cause she's my best buddy)

Well I'll be on DA tomorrow before I leave then I won't be back on til monday...
love ya all bye bye..

-Haruhi

*Boyfriend*

*Family*

*New Friend*

Pictures

~aylazato — Fri, 06 Apr 2007 16:47:24 PDT

Tomorrow Im going to be spending all day have pictures done because Im going to be done with high school really soon...And its going to be a pain in the ass because I had pictures and I look retarded..grrr..

But to everybody Im getting a new phone and that means a new number for the first 3 ppl that comments this journal they will get my number and only they will be able to contact me....

People getting my number
1.)

2.)

3.)

Deleted Myspace

~aylazato — Sun, 01 Apr 2007 21:37:34 PDT

For those on my, myspace friendslist my myspace got deleted anywhere from when I got off this morning til about 7pm today so I made a new one and I did some friend request to some of you...So prepared to have friend requests..

I don't know how it got deleted my bf told me it was deleted I thought he was messing around because its april fools day but he was telling me the truth which makes me pissed that its deleted I had it since last janurary and now I had to make a new one but everything is fine...

4 wonderful months

~aylazato — Wed, 28 Mar 2007 08:24:18 PDT

well me and jake finally hit 4 months today Im happy that one of my relationship last more than a month...*sighs* I hoping that it lasts forever, I really am truly happy with Jake..He always does stuff for me when he shouldn't, he is all that I've dreamed of and more...All I wanna do is just spend time with him and I can't wait to live with him just 9 more weeks...

*Boyfriend*

*Family*

*Friends*

boredom

~aylazato — Tue, 13 Mar 2007 08:39:10 PDT

well I've been trying so hard not to get on here I've been playing new games online been playing chrono trigger but I seem to be making pictures in photoshop and posting them so I guess I can't pull myself away from this account...damn..Plus I loves talking to robyn..^-^ I'm so happy we're friends...

*My boyfriend*

*My family*

*My friends*

Leaving for now...

~aylazato — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 09:13:53 PST

for now I won't be on this DeviantArt account..But I will be on my club accounts if its really important just send me a message to my clubs I'll get back to you as soon as I can..If anyone is unaware of my clubs then you may IM me to ask what the are....

*My Boyfriend*

*My Family*

*My Friends*

Whatever...

~aylazato — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 09:32:39 PST

This is for Chii,
ya know ever since our little 'fight' and us "making up" or whatever it seems liked you pushed me even farther away and the way you use to act like I was your best friend in the world is the same way your treating heather and It kinda well extremely pisses me off but she'll learn that being friends with you might be a what, is it oh yea a mistake because jenn,robyn and meghan all dealt with your shit for I don't know how long.

but I don't want to deal with it any longer than I have to because I know that you've changed and there's no way I can get you back the way you were and maybe its for the best that its this way but I can honestly say that no matter what I'm still in love with you which is bullshit but whenever I hear a song or anything that reminds me of you I cry when I shouldn't but I do..

Even when I don't want to I'm going to be running to you whenever you need help because even if we never go on 'speaking' to each other I'll always consider you a friend for I'll never abandone you.

Anyways to everyone else ya I hope to get some of my pictures up soon and If I am pregnant I want everyone to know that Koto is going to be the godmother...^-^ I love you Koto and I'm happy that you accepted to be the godmother..I also love you robyn, robyn has become 1 of my closet friends and I miss her...

*My Boyfriend*

*My Family*

*My Friends*

*My Clubs*

Pregnant

~aylazato — Mon, 19 Feb 2007 09:37:54 PST

This past wensday I haven't feeling well and my sister somehow decided to tell my mother I was pregnant..Which is probably impossible because I just had my period last week.My mom every since has been asking me if I was pregnant, which bugs me because she thinks I'm stupid and would do something like this..

I mean I would like to have kids but I wanna wait til I'm at least 20 to have my first kid.Well I gotta wait til I'm 20 because I wanna have a kid with my bf after we get married.. >.>

But anyways what I wanted to say in this journal is I'm currently waiting for Jake to get me a promise ring that he promised to get me to show me he truly meant that he would love me forever...He said this weekend that he would get it but *begins to cry* he hasn't gotten it yet and I really really want it..

I was wondering what everybody thought about my mom constantly asking me if I'm pregnant which I don't think I am but I mean theres always a chance isn't there..???

*My Husband*

*My Family*

*My Friends*

*My created Club*

Selling

~aylazato — Sat, 10 Feb 2007 16:45:43 PST

Well I'm going to be selling what anime stuff I have and anything else anybody is interested in buying..Even my sword that my boyfriend got me which I don't think anybody would want even though its a really great sword....Everything must go for the fact that any money that I earn will go towards me moving into an apartment with my boyfriend...

On other news I'll be doing commissions as well to earn money to move out I can draw anything you name it and I'll draw it for ya...I'm hoping that I earn enough to be able to pay for my apartment.

*My Husband*

*My Family*

*My Friends*

Trip(s)

~aylazato — Wed, 31 Jan 2007 07:50:21 PST

Well hehe, ummm lately anything that could go wrong has and it keeps getting worse, I'm trying to everything better and if worse comes to worse I wind up losing one of my closes friends because my friend doesn't know the entire situation...

But anyways I'm currently trying to look for a job because I was told last night that the a country music award type a thing going on in Las Vegas and its a 150 dollars a ticket and for an extra 50 bucks you get to go back stage and met some of the country singers, and some of you should know that I'm a total country freak and not to mention that my mom gets to go see george strait in concert this weekend which really pisses me off..*eye twiches*

So on other news I SHOULD be done with school by springbreak which I highly doubt because the school fucked up my credits..But I'm really excited about the senior trip this year and because I'm a senior I can take one guest with me and the person has to be younger than the age of 21 and it can be anybody...So I'm most likely gonna take my boyfriend with me because I'll be able to use him as a pillow...^ ^ hehe

*My Husband*

*My Family*

*My Friends*

Changed

~aylazato — Wed, 24 Jan 2007 11:02:28 PST

Currently I've been thinking about everything thats happened since the beginning of the school year....I know for a fact that I've changed and not for the better either. The are things that have hit me hard, and the fact that me and my sisters are growing apart and it hurts but I have uneasy feeling that our personalities are changing at a rapid pace that we might end up hating each other in the end...

I am part of the problem that has effected the friendship of me and my sisters...I have been only caring about my cousin and him getting into drugs..Also all I've cared about is my boyfriend jake and us moving out and moving into an apartment together in the summer...The way we're treated by both our families is crazy but still we don't get respect or a thank you when we do something for our families....

I'm sorry to those who I have caused pain 2....

*My Husband*

*My Family*

love and drugs

~aylazato — Tue, 16 Jan 2007 07:25:36 PST

Currently I'm trying to deal with the fact my cousin who is 17 years old is doing crystal meth...Every since I found out I've been heartbroken and I'm trying to help him stop but I'm afraid that I'm going to wind up doing drugs myself. My boyfriend has been there with me and I'm glad I get to constantly talk to him on the phone he makes me feel better and I know he'll protect me from doing anything..
But anyways I'm madly In love with my boyfriend Jake and he makes me so happy....I'm hoping in the future we could get married but I know he's the one for me the one I'm going to spend the rest of my life with....The way I feel about him I've never felt for any of my ex's......

*My husband*

*My sisters*

*The rest of my family*

*My friends*

For my friends

~aylazato — Mon, 18 Dec 2006 08:53:35 PST

For all the things I could've said and everything that has happened,
What I did and what I've should've done I only pray that all thats happen..You may have lost your heart but I have already given you mine to just to show my love for you...I might sometimes act like a bitch but thats to hide the fact that it hurts to show how I feel and to give back what you all have given me...

I'm sorry for my anger, I'm sorry for pushing away it just I wish I learned to care but all I know is pain....

*My family*

Words I couldn't say

~aylazato — Tue, 12 Dec 2006 09:06:59 PST

This is a song that I happened to listen to that made me cry...Its a really good song that I absolutely love...

In a book in a box in the closet
In a line in a song I once heard
In a moment on a front porch
Late one June
In a breath inside a whisper
Beneath the moon

There it was at the tip of my fingers
There it was on the tip of my tongue
There you were and I had never been that far
There it was the whole world
Wrapped inside my arms

And I let it all slip away --

Chorus:
What do I do now that you're gone
No back up plan, no second chance
And no one else to blame
All I can hear in the silence
That remains
Are the words I couldn't say

There's a rain that'll
Never stop falling
There's a wall that I've tried to
Take down
What I should've said
Just wouldn't pass my lips
So I held back and now we've
Come to this

And it's too late now --

Repeat Chorus

Are the words I couldn't say
I should have found a way
To tell you how I felt
Now the only one I'm tellin' is myself

Repeat Chorus

What do I do, what do I say
And no one else to blame
All I can hear in the silence that
Remains
Are the words I couldn't say

*my sisters*

*my very best friends*

tattoo

~aylazato — Thu, 07 Dec 2006 06:54:46 PST

Thats right just as the subject title says I got a tattoo yesturday of the charmed symbol and one of my sisters were there with me and because she was there I was less nervous about getting it and whenever it started to hurt I'd look at her and think of my sisters and why I'm getting this tattoo....This tattoo for me represents me and my sisters and no matter where all of us go this tattoo will always remind me that they will always be here for me no matter what.....

Forever Charmed

*My sisters*

*My Best Friends*

*My Clubs*
[link] , [link] and [link]

my truth

~aylazato — Tue, 05 Dec 2006 09:14:50 PST

See in this world we are born into a family and then there are people that you make your family. Those who become our family are the ones that we know that can stand next to you during all the heartache and pain...They are your truth....My sisters are my truth, right or wrong they are MY family.
My sisters are my hope, they are my dreams, they are my everything. Although my life is changing fast, who I am is who I wanna be and because of this I have been blessed with sisters who will continue to love me more and more with every passing day..Yet what is your truth, what helps you get through the day.....
* My Sisters *

*My Best Friends*

Tagged

~aylazato — Thu, 30 Nov 2006 09:24:00 PST

my little sis tagged me
Rules of the game:
The first player of this "game" starts with the topic "Six Weird Habits/Things About Yourself" and people who get tagged need to write a journal about their six Weird Habits/Things as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next six people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says "You are tagged" in their devPage comments and tell them to read yours...

1. I like refering myself in third person just to be wierd..
2. I prefer to talk to my stuffed bunny (mr.bunny) whenever I have no one to talk to...
3. I take showers in the dark because I think people are watching me
4. I pace whenever I really think ( I do it for hours on end)...
5. I'm afraid of water (I can't swim very well)

and finally number six
6. I'm completely scared of shamu...

now for the six people I tag

and

friends

~aylazato — Sat, 25 Nov 2006 13:49:11 PST

LOVE starts with a SMILE,

grows with a KISS,

and ends with a TEAR.

DON'T cry over anyone

who won't cry over you.

Good FRIENDS are hard to find,

harder to leave,

and impossible to forget.

You can only go as far as you push.

ACTIONS speak louder than words.

The HARDEST thing to do

is watch the one you love,

love somebody else.

DON'T let the past hold you back,

you're missing the good stuff.

LIFE'S SHORT.

If you don't look around

once in a while you might miss it.

A BEST FRIEND is like a four leaf clover,

HARD TO FIND and LUCKY TO HAVE.

Some people make the world

SPECIAL just by being in it.

BEST FRIENDS are the siblings

God forgot to give us.

When it HURTS to look back,

and you're SCARED to look ahead,

you can look beside you

and your BEST FRIEND will be there.

TRUE FRIENDSHIP "NEVER" ENDS.

Friends are FOREVER.

Good friends are like STARS

You don't always see them,

but you know they are ALWAYS THERE.

DON'T frown.

You never know who

is falling in love with your smile.

What do you do when the only person

who can make you stop crying

is the person who made you cry?

Nobody is perfect until

you fall in love with them.

Everything is okay in the end.

If it's not okay, then it's not the end.

Most people walk in and out of your life,

but only FRIENDS leave footprints

in your heart.

Send this on to everyone special

in your life,

even the people

who really make you MAD sometimes

and to the people

whose lives you want to be in!!!

drawing on the wall....

~aylazato — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 09:45:14 PST

for those who may know that in art we are able to draw on the wall and will be there forever....and I plan on drawing the wall of me and my friends.....these are all the ppl on da that will be on the wall....

Friends

~aylazato — Thu, 16 Nov 2006 16:03:34 PST

Alot of thing have been happening over the past couple months some good some bad.....but one of the good thing is the two of my friends finally made up......Honestly I was shocked at first but I'm happy......But next time they fight its over....I hate fighting in general and I hate drama..I love all my friends and I don't know what I would do without them.....

The power of four

~aylazato — Tue, 14 Nov 2006 09:29:55 PST

So many miles apart, so little time we have.But no matter what the cost we shall all be truely charmed and no one can ever break the power of three

With every passing day comes a new challenge for each of us to endure...But for all to pass at least one must fail...but which one will it be?????

*Forever Charmed*

my peoms I wrote

~aylazato — Thu, 05 Oct 2006 13:03:56 PDT

You and Me

Friendship is like a jewel that shines the brightest,
its innocents creates bonds that can't be broken
as it grows the beauty within it brings little things that help us get through the days
What others may not see is that no one can beat the friendship of you and me!!!!

TIRED

Im tired of everything
But with what strength I
have left
I try and stay awake
in this corrupted world
As I slowly fall into
a deep slumber
I hope for god to
take my soul
For this world and
this journey has made
me tired

LOSING YOU

Living without you in
my arms tears me apart
Losing you was the hardest
thing that has every happened
I try so hard to get you
back
You tell me you love me
but all you wish is to
be just friends
I miss the way you make
me feel
I remember the days when
you made me feel beautiful
but that is now a distant
memory
Every day my heart shatters
just thinking of you finding
someone new
But now I realize for you
to love me
I must love myself again
As I pick up the shatter
dreams I wonder did you
really did love me
or if it was just a dream
For now I'll cry for awhile but
one day you'll realize your actually
losing me

I WAIT SILENTLY FOR YOUR CALL

Hearing your voice makes my heart race
Imagining you lying next to me makes me yearn for you
Til the day I finally get to hold you in my arms
But as the days go by I'll love you til the day I die
For you keep me wanting more
But til then I'll wait silently for your call