deviantART: by:becbecmuffin

deviantART: by:becbecmuffin http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:becbecmuffin&section=today deviantART RSS for by:becbecmuffin en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Sat, 19 Dec 2009 19:13:58 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png I'm a very bad influence http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/28806241/ http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/28806241/ Mon, 07 Dec 2009 13:39:40 PST [x] consumed alcohol
[ ] slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex
[x] slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex
[x] kissed someone of the same sex
[\] had sex
[x] had someone in your room other than family
[x] watched porn
[ ] bought porn (Its yaoi! A doujinshi!) XD
[ ] tried drugs

TOTAL:6

[x] taken painkillers
[] taken someone else's prescription medicine
[x] lied to your parents
[x] lied to a friend
[] snuck out of the house
[x] done something illegal
[x] felt hurt
[x] hurt someone
[] wished someone to die
[ ] seen someone die

TOTAL:12

[] missed curfew
[x] stayed out all night
[] eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself
[x] been to a therapist
[] received a ticket
[] been to rehab
[x] dyed your hair
[x] been in an accident
[] been to a club
[] been to a bar

TOTAL:16

[] been to a wild party
[] been to a Mardi Gras parade
[] drank more than three alcoholic beverages in a night
[x] had a spring break in Florida
[x] sniffed anything
[x] wore black nail polish
[] wore arm bands
[x] wore t-shirts with band names
[x] listened to rap

TOTAL:22

[x] dressed gothic
[x] dressed girly
[x] dressed punk
[] dressed grunge
[x] stole something
[] been too drunk to remember anything
[] blacked out
[] fainted
[] had a crush on a neighbor

TOTAL:26

[x] had a crush on a friend
[x] been to a concert
[x] dry-humped someone
[x] been called a slut
[x] called someone a slut
[] installed speakers in a car
[x] broken a mirror
[] showered at someone of the opposites sex's house
[] brushed your teeth with someone else's toothbrush

TOTAL:32

[] considered Ludacris your favorite rapper?
[x] seen an R-rated movie
[x] cruised the mall
[] skipped school
[] had surgery
[x] had an injury
[] gone to court
[] walked out of a restaurant without paying/tipping?
[] caught something on fire
[x] lied about your age

TOTAL:36

[] owned/rented an apartment/house
[] broke the law in the police's presence
[] made out with someone who had a GF/BF
[] got in trouble with the police
[x] talked to a stranger
[] hugged a stranger
[] kissed a stranger
[] rode in the car with a stranger
[] been harassed
[] been verbally harassed

TOTAL:37

[] met face-to-face with someone you met online
[x] stayed online for 5+ hours straight
[x] talked on the phone for more than 4 hours straight
[x] watched TV for 5 hours straight
[x] been to a fair
[x] been called a bad influence
[] drank and drove
[x] prank-called someone
[x] laid on a couch with someone of the opposite sex
[x] cheated on a test
TOTAL:45

If you have 00-10 ... write [I'm a goody-goody]
If you have 11-20 ... write [I'm still a goody-goody]
If you have 21-30 ... write [I'm average]
If you have 31-40 ... write [I'm a bad kid]
If you have 41-50 ... write [I'm a very bad influence]
If you have 51-60 ... write [I'm a horrible person]
If you have 61-70 ... write [I should be in jail]
If you have 71-80 ... write [I should be dead]
If you have 81-90 ... write [I got a ticket to Hell]

]]> ~becbecmuffin Oh. I just remembered. I started therapy today. http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/28458007/ http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/28458007/ Thu, 19 Nov 2009 19:19:44 PST

I cry easily. I like how Dr. Kimmel ignored my tears. I really do. Because my tears are unintentional and I can't control them, but I'm honest to God not upset. It's just my reaction to talking about my feelings and my problems. I'm really looking forward to my sessions with him. I really feel like I'll get somewhere.

]]> ~becbecmuffin I'm loving this new journal skins thing. http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/28243197/ http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/28243197/ Mon, 09 Nov 2009 14:16:47 PST
--

<3

--
My Playlist: [link]

Lyrics? HELL YES
What I thought wasn't mine
In the light
Wasn't one of a kind,
A precious pearl
When I wanted to cry
I couldn't cause I
Wasn't allowed

Gomenasai for everything
Gomenasai, I know I let you down
Gomenasai till the end
I never needed a friend
Like I do now

What I thought wasn't all
So innocent
Was a delicate doll
Of porcelain

When I wanted to call you
And ask you for help
I stopped myself
Gomenasai for everything
Gomenasai, I know I let you down
Gomenasai till the end
I never needed a friend
Like I do now

What I thought was a dream
A mirage
Was as real as it seemed
A privilege
When I wanted to tell you
I made a mistake
I walked away
Gomenasai, for everything
Gomenasai, Gomenasai,
Gomenasai,
I never needed a friend,
Like I do now
Gomenasai, I let you down
Gomenasai, Gomenasai,
Gomenasai till the end
I never needed a friend
Like I do now ]]> ~becbecmuffin BTW http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/27994551/ http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/27994551/ Tue, 27 Oct 2009 12:51:08 PDT
]]> ~becbecmuffin Writing Is A Card Game http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/27941666/ http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/27941666/ Sat, 24 Oct 2009 13:09:32 PDT Dealing the deck
shuffling
Pulling out my poetry
Praying for the check-
Throwing out
Date with destiny
Healing the daily blues
Writing pretty pictures
Sculpting masterpieces
For a better future
Loving, all the children
Caring for the earth
Reminding to love the good things
Just another day of-
playing the poetry cards.
Pulling out some diamonds
Flushing with some hearts
Playing with a full deck
Knowing itÂs a game of poker
Throwing out a club
Weapons of war
Keeping a straight face
Just another day on the internet
Playing the poetry cards.
Holding the royal
Full house
Holding that death spade.
Dealing
Our- experience
ItÂs a wracked -
Hard work-
Never cheat-
stacked deck.

-Noel

]]> ~becbecmuffin thoughts http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/27931211/ http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/27931211/ Fri, 23 Oct 2009 21:22:02 PDT
]]> ~becbecmuffin New Creative Writer http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/27811360/ http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/27811360/ Sat, 17 Oct 2009 07:49:27 PDT Brandon-Marks

]]> ~becbecmuffin OMG http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/27488584/ http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/27488584/ Tue, 29 Sep 2009 15:29:06 PDT
]]> ~becbecmuffin Just drove around the block 4 times http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/27449489/ http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/27449489/ Sun, 27 Sep 2009 13:27:07 PDT
]]> ~becbecmuffin I feel like I have to say this. http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/27443489/ http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/27443489/ Sun, 27 Sep 2009 08:01:08 PDT I know that there are many people who don't support or agree with my relationship with Logan. I know that there are many people who would cry tears of joy to see me dump him. Sorry, but that's not happening. I love him.
Listen, I know he hurts me and he hurts me and he hurts me, but when he's not hurting me, he makes me happier than any person ever has and ever will. And I'm sorry if that makes any of you feel bad because you think you can/do/did make me happier.
He has saved me from myself more times than I can count. He has helped me gain a sense of self-appreciation. He has helped me stand up to other people. And he's right when he says I shouldn't be friends with certain people, and even though I'm still friends with these people who hurt me more than he does and have no idea that they do, he stands by me and helps me deal with it all.
He loves me more than most people do. And I know that there are people out there who love me just as much as, maybe even more than, he does, but they aren't mine the way he is. They don't love me the way he does. They never will.
That's all I have to say on the topic. Feel free to comment standing up for yourself. But nothing will change my mind at this point.

]]> ~becbecmuffin Dear anyone I have hurt, offended, or angered, http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/27443254/ http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/27443254/ Sun, 27 Sep 2009 07:46:10 PDT Love,
Me.

]]> ~becbecmuffin Can't Do It http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/27274004/ http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/27274004/ Fri, 18 Sep 2009 02:41:06 PDT
]]> ~becbecmuffin I-I might.... http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/27267301/ http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/27267301/ Thu, 17 Sep 2009 17:10:08 PDT
]]> ~becbecmuffin Finally Diagnosed http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/27262033/ http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/27262033/ Thu, 17 Sep 2009 12:40:25 PDT
So I went to the psychiatrist this morning. He diagnosed me with mild (compared to other cases) but still severe bi-polar disorder. I start meds as soon as my mother fills the prescription.

*you know it will always just be me*

]]> ~becbecmuffin Let that ego go. http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/27248354/ http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/27248354/ Wed, 16 Sep 2009 16:29:08 PDT
I need closure. I need stability. I need my heart back. I need my breath back. I need my independence back. I need my freedom back. I need my life back.

I need my worries gone. I need my guilt gone. I need my instability gone. I need my anger gone. I need my fear gone. I need my depression gone. I need you gone.

*Let that ego go.*

]]> ~becbecmuffin Problems -- Maintenance http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/27220813/ http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/27220813/ Tue, 15 Sep 2009 02:38:11 PDT
I seem to be sleeping less and less...
I just have too many mysteries keeping me up at night, and my mind wanders too far from my body to stay conscious, but not far enough to let me sleep.

Depressed today. I don't really know why. I was kind of...not myself at all starting in fourth period. Is it because I'm so tired? Is it because I keep thinking about the past, about camp, about Angel? Is it because I just don't like school? I can't focus, can't breathe, can't even seem to exist. What's wrong with me?

"Main-ten-nance to the office, main-ten-nance to the office."

*It's nice not to be so alone, but I hold onto your secrets in white houses.*

]]> ~becbecmuffin I feel like I have something important to say http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/27164919/ http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/27164919/ Sat, 12 Sep 2009 07:34:00 PDT
]]> ~becbecmuffin I feel like I'm going to throw up... http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/27150884/ http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/27150884/ Fri, 11 Sep 2009 13:43:16 PDT
]]> ~becbecmuffin HOLY CRAP my mom just scared the SHIT out of me! http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/27137762/ http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/27137762/ Thu, 10 Sep 2009 17:45:12 PDT
]]> ~becbecmuffin So You Think You Know Me? http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/26998666/ http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/26998666/ Thu, 03 Sep 2009 15:08:42 PDT [link]

]]> ~becbecmuffin DONE http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/26938855/ http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/26938855/ Mon, 31 Aug 2009 14:57:45 PDT
more once I calm down

]]> ~becbecmuffin For those of you who don't know, http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/26936440/ http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/26936440/ Mon, 31 Aug 2009 13:05:34 PDT
]]> ~becbecmuffin First Day Of School http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/26797176/ http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/26797176/ Mon, 24 Aug 2009 13:49:19 PDT After that I have English. Mrs. Amelkin seems nice, if not a little strict. Unfortunately, I sit behind Seth. That would be fine with me except for the fact that Abi and Jess were laughing at me the entire time. Then guitar with Ms. Bruington. She seems so nice, and it seems like IÂll actually be learning a lot in her class. Carlos from Creative Writing is in there with me but I donÂt think weÂll be acknowledging each other that often. Fifth, I have Mr. Lechtman for World History and damn is he cute. SamÂs in that class with me, too, and boy did she act well behaved. *smirk* So Sam. Then is Spanish three with Senora Cividanes. I KNOW IÂll be learning something in Spanish for once. And Sami Z. is in there with me. WeÂre in the same classroom as last year. XD My last class is Algebra two with Dr. Numeroff which I will be on top of this year. Yeah. On no 5, 6, 7 days I have third lunch with Logan and on no 1, 2, 3, 4 days I have second lunch alternating between Abi, Jess, and Emily and Dez, Ariana, Luci, Cai, Paul and anyone else I may have missed. Is good. Is good.

]]> ~becbecmuffin I am 84% Mentally ill http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/26769610/ http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/26769610/ Sun, 23 Aug 2009 07:36:42 PDT
[x] You have screamed at an inanimate object for 'hurting you.'
[x] You have run into a glass/screen door. (I've even ran into a solid wood door! Twice!)
[ ] You have jumped out of a moving vehicle.
[X] You have thought of something funny and laughed, and then people gave you weird looks.
[x] You have run into a tree/bush.
[X] You have been called a blonde.

Total: 5

[ ] You know that it IS possible to lick your elbow.
[ ] You just tried to lick your elbow.
[ ] You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star had the same melody.
[ ] You just sang them to make sure.
[x] You have tripped on your own feet and fallen.
[X] You have choked on your own spit.

Total: 7

[ ] You have seen the Matrix and still don't get it.
[ ] You type with three fingers or less.
[ ] You have accidentally caught something on fire.
[x] You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose.
[x] You have caught yourself drooling

Total: 9

[x] You have fallen asleep in class.
[ ] Sometimes you just stop thinking.
[x] Sometimes when you are telling a story you forget what you are talking about.
[ ] People often shake their heads and walk away from you
[ ] You are often told to use your 'inside voice'
Total: 11

[x] You use your fingers to do simple math.
[x] You have eaten a bug accidentally.
[x] You are taking this test when you should be doing something more important.
[x] You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn't realize it.
[X] You've looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand/pocket the whole time.

Total: 16

[ ] You have posted bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen if you don't.
[ ] You break a lot of things.
[x] You tilt your head when you're confused.
[X] You have fallen out of your chair before.
[ ] When you're lying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture on the ceiling.
[x] The word "um" is used frequently.
[X] You don't know what "um" means.
[X] You say "what" and "huh" a lot.
[ ] You plan to use a calculator to multiply your score for this bulletin.

Total: 21

NOW, take your total, and multiply it by 4.
and re-post as: I am --% Mentally ill.

]]> ~becbecmuffin . http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/26699645/ http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/26699645/ Wed, 19 Aug 2009 19:14:00 PDT
]]> ~becbecmuffin William http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/26698497/ http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/26698497/ Wed, 19 Aug 2009 18:13:47 PDT

>.<

]]> ~becbecmuffin on or off?? http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/26643569/ http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/26643569/ Mon, 17 Aug 2009 06:14:36 PDT TURNS YOU OFF = OFF
IT DON'T MATTER = DM

stolen from Megan who I missed soso much over the summer!

Boys can fill this one out!

Has a nice butt:
Plays musical instrument:
Is taller than you:
Is shorter than you:
Has green eyes:
Has blue eyes:
Has brown eyes:
Has hazel eyes:
Has long hair:
Has med. hair:
Has short hair:
Drinks alcohol:
Smokes cig's:
Smokes weed:
Has blonde hair:
Has brown hair:
Has black hair:
Has red hair:
Calls you just to say hi:
Creative:
Compliments you:
Shaves her legs:
Wears jewelry:
Has bigger feet than you:
Has smaller feet than you:
Belly piercings:
Doesn't party:
Likes to party:
Wants to party:
Laughs a lot:
Funny:
Skinny:
Rides a street bike:
Tattoo:
Honest:
Open:
Shy and quiet:
Licks lips:
Lightly bites:
Talks dirty:
Leaves you random comments:
Competes with you on stupid lil stuff:

Girls Fill this Out.
Wears a grill: Off
Dresses Gangsta: off
Dresses Preppy: dm
Dresses Skater: dm
Dresses Athletic: dm
Dresses Hick: off
Dresses Goth: on
Has green eyes: on
Has brown eyes: DM
Has hazel eyes: DM
Has blue eyes: on
Smokes cigarettes: Off
Does pills: unless they're prescription, off
Plays sports: DM
Can skate: DM
Writes lyrics: On
Smiles a lot: dm
Has Good Teeth: dm
Has blonde hair: on
Has brown hair: Dm
Has black hair: DM
Has red hair: DM
Has spikey hair: off
Has no hair: Off
Has long hair: On
Good dancer: dm
Wears jewelry: on
Piercings: ON
Muscles: on
Tattoos: on
Laid back: On
Plays guitar: ON
Plays drums: DM
Raps: off
Can draw: ON
Has a lip ring: on
Has a tongue ring: off
Nipples pierced: OFF
Hugs you: On
Hugs from behind: On
Creative: on
Calls you just to hear your voice: on

Goes to church: dm
Is funny: on

]]> ~becbecmuffin HOME http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/26624795/ http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/26624795/ Sun, 16 Aug 2009 08:45:20 PDT

Aw darn. My sub expired while I was away.

]]> ~becbecmuffin Goodbye http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/25158385/ http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/25158385/ Sat, 06 Jun 2009 09:15:50 PDT you all! have a great summer, everyone!

--
My Playlist: [link]

Lyrics? not today ]]> ~becbecmuffin I'm Writing! http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/25144092/ http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/25144092/ Fri, 05 Jun 2009 13:29:39 PDT
--
My Playlist: [link]

Lyrics? not today ]]> ~becbecmuffin Away for the Summer http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/25141792/ http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/25141792/ Fri, 05 Jun 2009 11:16:48 PDT I'll make my goodbye journal tomorrow

--
My Playlist: [link]

Lyrics? not today ]]> ~becbecmuffin Question: http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/25139205/ http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/25139205/ Fri, 05 Jun 2009 08:09:24 PDT
--
My Playlist: [link]

Lyrics? not today ]]> ~becbecmuffin Regrets and stamps http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/25129744/ http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/25129744/ Thu, 04 Jun 2009 17:22:44 PDT
--
My Playlist: [link]

Lyrics? not today ]]> ~becbecmuffin Run http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/25112897/ http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/25112897/ Wed, 03 Jun 2009 18:15:20 PDT In case you didn't notice (I doubt you did because all you care about is yourself), I'm gone. At this point in time, I don't know where I'm going (maybe Heaven or Hell if this gets any worse); I just know that I can't take this anymore (can't take YOU anymore). I cleaned my room like you asked (because Irony is my favorite fact of life). I may be home before sundown; I may not (probably not).
From (because I don't love you right now),
Rebecca (the daughter you love to hate)

--
My Playlist: [link]

Lyrics? not today ]]> ~becbecmuffin No Regrets, Grandpa http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/25038073/ http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/25038073/ Sat, 30 May 2009 18:16:41 PDT Sometimes I wonder if you're ever disappointed in me. You have to understand that people are different these days. I did no worse than Naina. But I bet you don't care. Mom never cares when I say stuff like that. Anyway, I'm sorry for everything I do that upsets you, but I regret none of it. I don't regret my bad grades. I don't regret lying to my parents. I don't regret anything I've done. Anyway. Good luck wherever you are. I love you.
Love,
Rebecca

--
My Playlist: [link]

Lyrics? not today ]]> ~becbecmuffin I Don't Regret A Thing http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/25037677/ http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/25037677/ Sat, 30 May 2009 17:50:52 PDT
--
My Playlist: [link]

Lyrics? not today ]]> ~becbecmuffin I'm a very bad influence XD http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/24980491/ http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/24980491/ Wed, 27 May 2009 14:09:47 PDT [x] consumed alcohol.
[x] slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex.
[x] slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex.
[x] kissed someone of the same sex.
[ ] had sex.
[x] had someone in your room other than family.
[ON ACCIDENT] watched porn
[] bought porn.
[ ] tried drugs.

TOTAL: 6

[x] taken painkillers.
[] taken someone else's prescription medicine.
[x] lied to your parents.
[x] lied to a friend.
[]snuck out of the house.
[x] done something illegal.
[x] felt hurt.
[x] hurt someone.
[x] wished someone to die.
[] seen someone die.

TOTAL: 13

[x] missed curfew.
[x] stayed out all night.
[] eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself
[] been to a therapist.
[] received a ticket.
[ ] been to rehab
[x] dyed your hair.
[x] been in an accident.
[ ] been to a club.
[ ] been to a bar

TOTAL: 17

[] been to a wild party
[] been to a Mardi Gras parade.
[] drank more than three alcoholic beverages in a night.
[x] had a spring break in Florida.
[x] sniffed anything
[x] wore black nail polish
[] wore arm bands.
[x] wore t-shirts with band names.
[x] listened to rap.
[ ] owned a 50 Cent CD.

TOTAL: 22

[x] dressed gothic
[x] dressed girly.
[x] dressed punk.
[x] dressed grunge.
[x] stole something.
[ ] been too drunk to remember anything.
[] blacked out.
[] fainted.
[] had a crush on a neighbor.

TOTAL: 27

[x] had a crush on a friend.
[x] been to a concert.
[DON'T JUDGE ME1] dry-humped someone
[x] been called a slut.
[x] called someone a slut.
[ ] installed speakers in your car.
[x] broken a mirror.
[x] showered at someone of the opposites sex's house.
[] brushed your teeth with someone else's toothbrush.

TOTAL: 34

[ ] considered Ludacris your favorite rapper.
[] seen an R-rated movie in theater.
[x] cruised the mall.
[] skipped school.
[] had surgery.
[x] had an injury.
[ ] gone to court.
[] walked out of a restaurant without paying/tipping.
[] caught something on fire.
[x] lied about your age.

TOTAL: 37

[ ] owned/rented an apartment/house.
[ ] broke the law in the police's presence.
[ ] made out with someone who had a gf/bf
[ ] got in trouble with the police.
[x] talked to a stranger.
[] hugged a stranger.
[ ] kissed a stranger.
[x] rode in the car with a stranger
[x] been harassed.
[x] been verbally harassed.

TOTAL: 41

[] met face-to-face with someone you met online.
[x] stayed online for 5+ hours straight.
[x] talked on the phone for more than 4 hours straight.
[x] watched TV for 5 hours straight.
[x] been to a fair.
[x] been called a bad influence.
[ ] drank and drove.
[x] prank-called someone.
[x] laid on a couch with someone of the opposite sex.
[x] cheated on a test.

TOTAL: 49

If You Have Less Than 10.. write [I'm a Goody Goody]
If You Have More Than 10.. write [I'm still a goody goody]
If You Have more Than 20..write [I'm average]
If You Have More Than 30..write [I'm a bad kid]
If You have more than 40..write [I'm a very bad influence]
If You Have more than 50..write [I'm a horrible person]
If You Have more than 60..write [I should be in jail]
If You Have more than 70..Write [I should be dead]

--
My Playlist: [link]

http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/24878133/ Thu, 21 May 2009 17:32:29 PDT Wish someone cure this pain
It's funny when you think it's gonna work out
Till you chose weed over me youÂre so lame

I thought you were cool until the point,
Up until the point you didn't call me when you said you would
Finally figured out you're all the same,
Always coming up with some kind of story

Every time I try to make you smile,
You're always feeling sorry for yourself
Every time I try to make you laugh,
You can't your too tough
You think you're loveless
Is that too much that IÂm askin for?

Thought you'd come around when I ignored you,
Sorta thought you'd have the decency to change
But babe I guess you didn't take that warning,
ÂCause I'm not about to look at your face again

Can't you see that you lie to yourself?
You can't see the world through a mirror
It won't be too late when the smoke clears
ÂCause I, I am still here

But every time I try to make you smile,
You'd always grow up feeling sorry for yourself
Every time I try to make you laugh,
You stand like a stone,
Alone in your zone
Is that too much that IÂm askin for?

Yeah-eya yeah-eya

Can't find where I am, lying here alone in fear,
Afraid of the dark, no one to claim alone again

YEAH-EYA EYA EYA

Can't you see that you lie to yourself?
You can't see the world through a mirror,
It won't be too late when the smoke clears
ÂCause I, I am still here

Every time I try to make you smile,
You're always feeling sorry for yourself
Every time I try to make you laugh,
You can't your too tough
You think you're loveless
It was too much that I asked him for

--
My Playlist: [link]

Lyrics? HELL YES
Chorus:
I can hear
his voice within my head.
I can hear
his music in my head.

Verse 1:
I can hear
him say
I love you.
I can hear
him say
forever.

Chorus:
I can hear
his voice within my head.
I can hear
his music in my head.

Bridge 1:
I can see his face so clearly
in my mind.
I can see him smile at me
in my mind.

Chorus:
I can hear
his voice within my head.
I can hear
his music in my head.

Verse 2:
I can hear
the love
in his voice.
I can hear
the smile
in his voice.

Bridge 2:
He surrounds me.
He never leaves me.
It's as if he's all that is
in my world.

He's always with me.
He always loves me.
It's as if he's all I want
in my world.

Chorus:
I can hear
his voice within my head.
I can hear
his music in my head. ]]> ~becbecmuffin Physical Attraction vs. Chemical Reaction http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/24844743/ http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/24844743/ Tue, 19 May 2009 18:12:03 PDT

--
My Playlist: [link]

Lyrics? HELL YES
Chorus:
I can hear
his voice within my head.
I can hear
his music in my head.

Verse 1:
I can hear
him say
I love you.
I can hear
him say
forever.

Chorus:
I can hear
his voice within my head.
I can hear
his music in my head.

Bridge 1:
I can see his face so clearly
in my mind.
I can see him smile at me
in my mind.

Chorus:
I can hear
his voice within my head.
I can hear
his music in my head.

Verse 2:
I can hear
the love
in his voice.
I can hear
the smile
in his voice.

Bridge 2:
He surrounds me.
He never leaves me.
It's as if he's all that is
in my world.

He's always with me.
He always loves me.
It's as if he's all I want
in my world.

Chorus:
I can hear
his voice within my head.
I can hear
his music in my head. ]]> ~becbecmuffin When I said forever, http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/24838793/ http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/24838793/ Tue, 19 May 2009 12:29:53 PDT
--
My Playlist: [link]

Lyrics? HELL YES
Chorus:
I can hear
his voice within my head.
I can hear
his music in my head.

Verse 1:
I can hear
him say
I love you.
I can hear
him say
forever.

Chorus:
I can hear
his voice within my head.
I can hear
his music in my head.

Bridge 1:
I can see his face so clearly
in my mind.
I can see him smile at me
in my mind.

Chorus:
I can hear
his voice within my head.
I can hear
his music in my head.

Verse 2:
I can hear
the love
in his voice.
I can hear
the smile
in his voice.

Bridge 2:
He surrounds me.
He never leaves me.
It's as if he's all that is
in my world.

He's always with me.
He always loves me.
It's as if he's all I want
in my world.

Chorus:
I can hear
his voice within my head.
I can hear
his music in my head. ]]> ~becbecmuffin What would you say http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/24809703/ http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/24809703/ Sun, 17 May 2009 17:27:09 PDT
--
My Playlist: [link]

Lyrics? HELL YES
Chorus:
I can hear
his voice within my head.
I can hear
his music in my head.

Verse 1:
I can hear
him say
I love you.
I can hear
him say
forever.

Chorus:
I can hear
his voice within my head.
I can hear
his music in my head.

Bridge 1:
I can see his face so clearly
in my mind.
I can see him smile at me
in my mind.

Chorus:
I can hear
his voice within my head.
I can hear
his music in my head.

Verse 2:
I can hear
the love
in his voice.
I can hear
the smile
in his voice.

Bridge 2:
He surrounds me.
He never leaves me.
It's as if he's all that is
in my world.

He's always with me.
He always loves me.
It's as if he's all I want
in my world.

Chorus:
I can hear
his voice within my head.
I can hear
his music in my head. ]]> ~becbecmuffin Who Needs Them? http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/24802691/ http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/24802691/ Sun, 17 May 2009 10:29:35 PDT
--

I guess I never realized, never knew, never understood, what went wrong. But now I do. And I plan on fixing it.

--
My Playlist: [link]

's journal, and felt like doing it

Rules:
1. You must choose only ONE of your OCs. Do it again if you wanna use another OC.
2. Your OC must answer every question as truthfully as possible.
3. Title the journal as "OCs Quiz (your OCs name)".
4. When you're done, tag as many people as you want.
5. Have fun!!!

1. Hi! What's your real name and nickname?
Yo. My name is Dante. That's it. No nickname.

2. Interesting... what's your current age?
16

3. Uh huh. What's your favorite food?
I like junk food. like chips and stuff

4. And your favorite drink?
Pepsi definitely

5. Confession time! Who's your crush/lover?
I like this one girl, but she doesn't know I exist. I'm too busy working on my music to, you know, do anything about it.

6. Aww! Have you two kissed yet?
almost once at this party where we were both drunk...but then my friend like...pulled her away...

7. Classic question! What's your favorite colour?
Blue...dark midnight blue.

8. Who's your favorite author?
Um I don't read much so I don't have a favorite author just some favorite books

9. Now what's your biggest fear?
right now? losing my talent for drums. Yeah i know it's not likely but it could happen, you know?

10. *stifles a giggle* I'm not laughing *bursts out laughing* Sorry. Any siblings?
Don't laugh at my fear. *deathglare* I have a little sister, Danielle. Little freshman

11. Almost, it's only twenty questions. Who's your hero?
ummmmmm Lars Ulrich from Metallica for sure.

12. Ok, who is your worst enemy?
probably my teachers

13. What would you do if your hero and your worst enemy got together?
that's just awkward...orgy!

14. Interesting... what would you do if you met your creator?
You mean Mom?

15. Okay, I'll contact them right now. Done! Now, what do you want to be when you grow up?
Musician. Drummer to be precise.

16. What's your worst nightmare?
My band falling apart.

17. What's your lifelong dream?
Get a band together and get famous

18. What would you do if your lifelong dream came true?
Go on tour, record and album. Band stuff.

19. Ok, where's your favorite place to relax?
In the music room, just playing my drums.

20. Last question! What do you spend most of your time doing?
Playing drums

21. We're done! Now tag whoever you want. DO IT!
i'd tag danny but she already did this, so no thanks

--
My Playlist: [link]

]]> ~becbecmuffin Danny Speaks Out http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/24720037/ http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/24720037/ Tue, 12 May 2009 12:35:57 PDT

's journal, and felt like doing it

) and pretty much everyone except my mother calls me Danny

2. Interesting... what's your current age?
I'm 15.

3. Uh huh. What's your favorite food?
I'm a sushi person.

4. And your favorite drink?
Mountain Dew fer sure

5. Confession time! Who's your crush/lover?
My boyfriend, Anthony. He's a cutie. Dad doesn't like him too much but mom loves him to death. He's a punk emo...but he doesn't cut

6. Aww! Have you two kissed yet?

yeah

7. Classic question! What's your favorite colour?
I really love the color green. I honestly don't know why. lol

8. Who's your favorite author?
I don't have one. There are too many good authors out there!

9. Now what's your biggest fear?
I'm deathly afraid of death.

10. *stifles a giggle* I'm not laughing *bursts out laughing* Sorry. Any siblings?
*sniff* You should be afraid of death too you know. It's the unknown. Anyway, yeah. I have a brother, Dante. He's 16.

11. Almost, it's only twenty questions. Who's your hero?
My mother. She's my inspiration. She's successful and happy. And her childhood was filled with failure and disappointment, so it's no small feat.

12. Ok, who is your worst enemy?
My brother -_- He's like my best friend but he's such a pinfa (pain in the fucking ass)

13. What would you do if your hero and your worst enemy got together?
*thumbs up* WINCEST!

14. Interesting... what would you do if you met your creator?
I already have. She's my mother. Either way. In the story and in real life.

15. Okay, I'll contact them right now. Done! Now, what do you want to be when you grow up?
I want to be an author or poet. I love writing so much.

16. What's your worst nightmare?
My worst nightmare? Anthony killing himself.

17. What's your lifelong dream?
Make my parents proud of me.

18. What would you do if your lifelong dream came true?
I don't know. I guess I would just be really happy.

19. Ok, where's your favorite place to relax?
Nova Scotia. I live in New Jersey, but I love Nova Scotia. It's so beautiful and calm and the ocean is gorgeous and everywhere. Also just out in the woods behind my house. I just sit in the little ditch between my house and that of my friend and think.

20. Last question! What do you spend most of your time doing?
I spend a lot of time writing.

21. We're done! Now tag whoever you want. DO IT!
DAAAAAAANTEEEEEE!

--
My Playlist: [link]

... ]]> ~becbecmuffin OOOOOOOOOMG! http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/24582990/ http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/24582990/ Mon, 04 May 2009 12:18:44 PDT

--
My Playlist: [link]

]]> ~becbecmuffin I always http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/24513321/ http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/24513321/ Thu, 30 Apr 2009 12:42:40 PDT
--
My Playlist: [link]

]]> ~becbecmuffin EVIL BOYFRIEND EDIT: and the make up http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/24501115/ http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/24501115/ Wed, 29 Apr 2009 18:34:01 PDT
"Niki, just take your arm out of your pants. It's not that hard."

--

You know what really PISSES ME OFF?! My boyfriend. Look at this...and don't tell him i put it online. IF ANYONE LETS HIM KNOW THEY HAVE SEEN THIS CONVERSATION I WILL DISOWN THEM AS MY FRIEND OR ANY PART OF MY FAMILY THEY MAY BE. EVEN YOU, SAM.

Becbecmuffin (7:42:32 PM): *sigh*
Theunderking666 (7:42:38 PM): what?
Becbecmuffin (7:42:43 PM): nothing
Becbecmuffin (7:42:48 PM): just...thinking...
Theunderking666 (7:42:52 PM): about?
Becbecmuffin (7:42:58 PM): nothing
Theunderking666 (7:43:06 PM): are you sure?
Becbecmuffin (7:43:19 PM): yeah
Becbecmuffin (7:43:21 PM): no
Theunderking666 (7:43:48 PM): do you wanna tell me?
Becbecmuffin (7:43:58 PM): idk
Becbecmuffin (7:44:15 PM): i have a lot of people that i confide
Becbecmuffin (7:44:16 PM): in
Theunderking666 (7:44:22 PM): ok...
Becbecmuffin (7:44:26 PM): and two that i confide in about you
Becbecmuffin (7:44:34 PM): but you don't want me confiding in either of them
Theunderking666 (7:44:39 PM): which are?
Becbecmuffin (7:44:45 PM): josh and seth
Theunderking666 (7:44:59 PM): You confide in them about me?
Becbecmuffin (7:45:03 PM): yes
Theunderking666 (7:45:12 PM): why?
Becbecmuffin (7:45:17 PM): they listen
Becbecmuffin (7:45:23 PM): they give their opinions
Theunderking666 (7:45:30 PM): so?
Theunderking666 (7:45:33 PM): why them?
Theunderking666 (7:45:38 PM): anyone else
Theunderking666 (7:45:42 PM): i don't care
Becbecmuffin (7:45:44 PM): i don't know
Becbecmuffin (7:45:45 PM): because
Theunderking666 (7:45:46 PM): just not them
Becbecmuffin (7:46:12 PM): josh...stands up for me...and seth...he listened to me about you, even when it hurt him to hear...and he helped
Becbecmuffin (7:46:17 PM): he gave good advice
Theunderking666 (7:46:31 PM): I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK
Becbecmuffin (7:46:42 PM): i know
Theunderking666 (7:47:01 PM): I DON'T WANT YOU TALKING TO EITHER OF THEM ABOUT ME!!!!!!!!!!!1
Becbecmuffin (7:47:21 PM): WHY?!
Becbecmuffin (7:47:33 PM): YOU DON'T WANT ME TALKING TO EITHER OF THEM AT ALL
Theunderking666 (7:47:39 PM): BECAUSE J-MILL IS A LIAR
Becbecmuffin (7:47:49 PM): BUT HE LISTENS
Theunderking666 (7:47:50 PM): AND SETH IS YOUR GODDAMN EX
Becbecmuffin (7:47:56 PM): AND HE CARES
Theunderking666 (7:48:02 PM): I DON'T CARE IF THEY LISTEN
Becbecmuffin (7:48:14 PM): SO YOU'D RATHER ME HOLD IT ALL IN?
Theunderking666 (7:48:16 PM): DON'T TALK TO THEM ABOUT ME!!!!!!!
Becbecmuffin (7:48:18 PM): AND JUST EXPLODE?
Theunderking666 (7:48:20 PM): NO
Becbecmuffin (7:48:26 PM): then WHAT?!
Theunderking666 (7:48:29 PM): JUST DON'T TALK TO THEM
Becbecmuffin (7:48:33 PM): WHY NOT
Becbecmuffin (7:48:47 PM): I TRUST THEM
Becbecmuffin (7:48:56 PM): I HAVE GOOD REASONS TO
Theunderking666 (7:49:00 PM): I DON'T CARE
Becbecmuffin (7:49:08 PM): do you have any clue
Becbecmuffin (7:49:14 PM): what they've done for me?
Becbecmuffin (7:49:16 PM): FOR YOU?!
Theunderking666 (7:49:17 PM): THEY AREN'T WORTHY OF TRUST
Becbecmuffin (7:49:25 PM): you know what
Becbecmuffin (7:49:27 PM): fuck that
Becbecmuffin (7:49:33 PM): you don't know them the way i do
Theunderking666 (7:49:39 PM): THEY HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING FOR ME EXCEPT PISS ME OFF
Theunderking666 (7:49:50 PM): AND I KNOW JOSH BETTER THAN YOU THINK
Becbecmuffin (7:49:52 PM): AND HELP YOUR GIRLFRIEND WHEN SHE'S PISSED AT YOU
Becbecmuffin (7:50:05 PM): but you know him the way he treats his guy friends
Becbecmuffin (7:50:14 PM): PEOPLE TREAT PEOPLE DIFFERENTLY
Theunderking666 (7:50:20 PM): I
Theunderking666 (7:50:22 PM): DONT
Theunderking666 (7:50:24 PM): CARE
Becbecmuffin (7:50:27 PM): FUCK YOU
Theunderking666 (7:51:01 PM): JOSH IS FUCKING HORNY FOR YOU AND YOU TRUST HIM?
Theunderking666 (7:51:13 PM): SETH IS YOUR EX AND YOU TRUST HIM?
Becbecmuffin (7:51:23 PM): JOSH WON'T ACT ON THAT
Becbecmuffin (7:51:29 PM): SETH IS FUCKING OVER ME
Becbecmuffin (7:51:34 PM): WE'RE JUST FRIENDS NOW
Theunderking666 (7:51:41 PM): I DON'T CARE
Becbecmuffin (7:51:52 PM): YOU DON'T GIVE A FUCK, RIGHT?!
Theunderking666 (7:51:55 PM): I STILL HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT
Becbecmuffin (7:52:12 PM): YOU CANNOT CONTROL WHO I'M FRIENDS WITH AND WHO I TALK TO!
Theunderking666 (7:52:25 PM): I'M NOT TRYING TO!!
Becbecmuffin (7:52:34 PM): YES YOU ARE!
Theunderking666 (7:52:42 PM): I'M TRYING TO HELP YOU
Becbecmuffin (7:52:52 PM): WELL YOU'RE NOT
Theunderking666 (7:52:55 PM): IF YOU DON'T WANNA TALK TO ME I DON'T CARE ANYMORE
Becbecmuffin (7:53:11 PM): ...what?
Theunderking666 (7:53:20 PM): YOU DON'T UNDER... ]]> ~becbecmuffin Devious Journal Entry http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/24445552/ http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/24445552/ Sun, 26 Apr 2009 12:37:26 PDT
"Niki, just take your arm out of your pants. It's not that hard."

--

What age will you have sex?

Put an x in
every box that applies to you then add them up, and thats your age!

[] You know how to make a pot of coffee
[x] You keep track of dates using a calendar
[] You own a credit card
[] You know how to change the oil in a car
[x] You've done your own laundry
[] You can vote in an election
[x] You can cook for yourself
[x] You think politics are exciting

TOTAL SO FAR: 4

[] You show up for school late a lot
[] You always carry a pen in your bag/purse/pocket
[x] You've never gotten a detention
[] You have forgotten your own birthday at least once
[x] You like to take walks by yourself
[] You know what credibility means, without looking it up
[] You drink caffeine at least once a week

TOTAL SO FAR: 6

[x] You know how to do the dishes
[x] You can count to 10 in another language
[] When you say you're going to do something you do it
[] You can mow the lawn
[] You study when you have to
[x] You have hand washed a car before

TOTAL SO FAR: 9

[x] You can spell experience, without looking it up
[] The people at Starbucks know you by name
[] Your favorite kind of food is take out
[] The first thing you do when you wake up is get caffeine
[] You can't go to the store without getting something you don't need
[] you understand political jokes the first time they are said
[x] You can type pretty quick

TOTAL SO FAR: 11

[] Your only friends are from your place of employment
[] You have been to a Tupperware party
[x] You have realized that no one will take you seriously unless you are over the age of 25 and have a job
[] You have more bills than you can pay
[x] You have been to the beach
[x] You use the internet every day
[x]You have been outside of the united states 3 or more times
[] you make your own bed

TOTAL SO FAR: 15

...go figure...that's my current age...>.>

--
Lyrics:
Helpless my eyes are bleeding from the fear that's inside
You sealed your demise when you took what was mine
Don't try and stop me from avenging this world
No voice to be heard

Waking the demon
Where'd you run to
Walking in shadows
Watch the blood flow

There's not much longer so don't try and fight
Your body's weakening walk to the light
Those painful times so alone so ashamed
I'm not coming back there's nothing to gain

Caution there's just no limits to the boundaries you push
I've warned you but still you just fuck with my mind
There's no escape from this rage that I feel
Nothing is real

Waking the demon
Where'd you run to
Walking in shadows
Watch the blood flow

There's not much longer so don't try and fight
Your body's weakening walk to the light
Those painful times so alone so ashamed
I'm not coming back there's nothing to gain

Breathe for me
Don't wake me from this slumber
Stay with me
Possession taking over (x2)

Breathe for me
Don't wake me from this slumber
Stay with me
Possession taking over (x2)

Waking the demon

My Playlist: [link]

http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/24444611/ Sun, 26 Apr 2009 11:44:19 PDT
"Niki, just take your arm out of your pants. It's not that hard."

--

Like vines we intertwined
[like vines we intertwined]
Carelessly growing up and growing old
Life was on our tongues
[on our tongues]
And it tasted heavenly so good

I wake up and I feel alone
I was just asleep
Right where I belong
Inside this sad, sad song

--
Lyrics:
Helpless my eyes are bleeding from the fear that's inside
You sealed your demise when you took what was mine
Don't try and stop me from avenging this world
No voice to be heard

Waking the demon
Where'd you run to
Walking in shadows
Watch the blood flow

There's not much longer so don't try and fight
Your body's weakening walk to the light
Those painful times so alone so ashamed
I'm not coming back there's nothing to gain

Caution there's just no limits to the boundaries you push
I've warned you but still you just fuck with my mind
There's no escape from this rage that I feel
Nothing is real

Waking the demon
Where'd you run to
Walking in shadows
Watch the blood flow

There's not much longer so don't try and fight
Your body's weakening walk to the light
Those painful times so alone so ashamed
I'm not coming back there's nothing to gain

Breathe for me
Don't wake me from this slumber
Stay with me
Possession taking over (x2)

Breathe for me
Don't wake me from this slumber
Stay with me
Possession taking over (x2)

Waking the demon

My Playlist: [link]

]]> ~becbecmuffin 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 fun redo http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/24444479/ http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/24444479/ Sun, 26 Apr 2009 11:37:06 PDT
"Niki, just take your arm out of your pants. It's not that hard."

--

TEN things you wish you could say to ten different people right now:
1. I wish I could help you but I can't until I can help myself.
2. You frustrate me so much and I'm getting sick of it.
3. I'm sorry you feel unloved, but you are. You really are. I still look to you as the sun in my cloudy life.
4. You need to give me a chance before you shoot me down.
5. I don't know how to deal with you. I never did. I never will.
6. I miss you. I need you. You're the only one who could really help me through my rough patch.
7. I don't know you anymore.
8. I wish we were as close as we were last year.
9. You give terrible advice.
10. Stop smiling.

NINE things about yourself:
1. I worry a lot.
2. I change my look a lot.
3. I miss the old days.
4. I'm an actress and I live to perform
5. My life is going downhill
6. I wish I weren't so alone right now.
7. I always feel alone.
8. My boyfriend is as depressing as I am and I don't know how to deal with it.
9. I love music.

EIGHT ways to win your heart
1. Make me laugh.
2. Be kind to me.
3. Sit with me through the bad times.
4. Let me cry to you.
5. Love music as much as I do.
6. Understand my mindset.
7. Let me live for you.
8. Live for the present and the future. Not just one or the other.

SEVEN things that cross your mind a lot:
1. Depression
2. Worry
3. Love
4. Life
5. Logan
6. Acting
7. Writing

SIX things you do before you fall asleep:
1. Put on music.
2. Check all my stuff online.
3. Talk on the phone.
4. Put the phone down and say good night to my parents
5. Get my pajamas on while I'm on the phone.
6. Talk on the phone until I fall asleep.

FIVE people of the opposite sex who mean a lot to you:
1. Logan
2. Seth
3. J-Mill
4. JC
5. Josh (my cousin)

FOUR things you're wearing right now:
1. PJ pants
2. Logan's jacket
3. Panties
4. Glasses

THREE songs that you listen to often:
lately it has been:
1. Shogun - Trivium
2. Inside The Fire - Disturbed
3. A Little Piece Of Heaven - Avenged Sevenfold

TWO things you want to do before you die:
1. Have two children.
2. Get married.

ONE confession:
1. I don't know what emotions I'm feeling.

--
Lyrics:
Helpless my eyes are bleeding from the fear that's inside
You sealed your demise when you took what was mine
Don't try and stop me from avenging this world
No voice to be heard

Waking the demon
Where'd you run to
Walking in shadows
Watch the blood flow

There's not much longer so don't try and fight
Your body's weakening walk to the light
Those painful times so alone so ashamed
I'm not coming back there's nothing to gain

Caution there's just no limits to the boundaries you push
I've warned you but still you just fuck with my mind
There's no escape from this rage that I feel
Nothing is real

Waking the demon
Where'd you run to
Walking in shadows
Watch the blood flow

There's not much longer so don't try and fight
Your body's weakening walk to the light
Those painful times so alone so ashamed
I'm not coming back there's nothing to gain

Breathe for me
Don't wake me from this slumber
Stay with me
Possession taking over (x2)

Breathe for me
Don't wake me from this slumber
Stay with me
Possession taking over (x2)

Waking the demon

My Playlist: [link]

http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/24426289/ Sat, 25 Apr 2009 11:05:06 PDT
Me: I is a soul Vampire. I reap souls...not rape, reap.
Josh: What do you do with them?
Me: I sell them to Sam because she's the devil.
Josh: What does she do with them?
Me: Eats them.
Josh: Then what happens?
Me: They get digested and come out as shit.
Josh: So we're all destined to be Sam's shit?
Me: Yep.

--

RELAY FOR LIFE WAS AMAZING!

Anyways, I'm tired. I came home at like 6:30 and collapsed on my bed still in my clothes, pajamas, shoes, and socks. My parents woke me up at noon. I didn't get any sleep at Relay. I was up till the wee hours of morning lying on the ground talking to Josh and giggling at everything because I was giddy from a lack of sleep. I felt high.

Anyways, I'm aching all over. Starting from the bottom up:
-My feet hurt from walking the track barefoot. I was barefoot from the moment I got there. Seriously...the first thing I did was take off one of my shoes so Erin could use it to pound a stake into the ground.
-My left thigh hurts because I pulled it from running and idiotically trying to be faster than Josh.
-My right thigh hurts because it is bruised. We decided to do a lap in sleeping bags and stuff. So I stole Abi's and gave her my blanket. So I'm hopping along and Abi thinks it would be funny to step on the tail of the sleeping bag. -_- I think you all know where this is going. So, I fell on my face and had the wind knocked out of me for the first time in my life. OUCH. I also fell on my dad's phone (I didn't have mine because it's dead and my charger's broken) which slammed into my leg, creating a beautiful bruise.
-My head hurts. lawl.
Anyway. Yeah. That's more or less it.

]]> ~becbecmuffin Depression http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/24223567/ http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/24223567/ Mon, 13 Apr 2009 16:00:16 PDT
"What's wrong?"
"I don't know. When we left creative writing I just felt sad and depressed for no reason"
*shrug* "That's okay. It's normal"
*raises one eyebrow*
"It happens to me all the time."
"...You have depression."
"Oh yeah. Guess what that means." *thumbs up and points at me*
"I have it, too?"
"Maybe!"
"You always say that and it always somehow becomes a 'no'."
*takes a sip of her wine* "I NEED A SNACK! MICHAEL, DO WE HAVE ANY SNACKS?!"

-_-

--

My Playlist: [link]

]]> ~becbecmuffin 52% corrupted http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/24177588/ http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/24177588/ Sat, 11 Apr 2009 07:00:02 PDT 02. Drank alcohol
03. Cried when someone died.
04. Been drunk.
05. Had sex.
06. Been to a concert.
07. Gotten/given a hand job.
08. Been verbally/sexually harassed.
09. Verbally/sexually harassed somebody.
11. Felt someone up and/or been felt up.
12. Laughed so hard something came out of your nose .
13. Cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend before.
14. Been cheated on by a boyfriend/girlfriend.
15. Been to prom.
16. Cried at school.
17. Gotten lost in a Wal-Mart or a department store.
18. Went streaking.
19. Given or received a lap dance.
20. Had someone of the opposite sex in your room.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 90%

21. Had someone of the opposite sex sleep over.
22. Slept over at someone of the opposite sex's house.
23. Kissed a stranger.
24. Hugged a stranger.
25. Went scuba diving.
26. Driven a car.
27. Gotten an x-ray.
28. Hit by a car.
29. Had a party.
30. Done drugs.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 86%

31. Played strip poker/darts/pool.
32. Got paid to strip for someone.
33. Run away from home.
34. Broken a bone.
35. Eaten sushi.
36. Bought porn.
37. Watched porn.
38. Made porn.
39. Made beans.
40. Been in love.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 83%

41. French kissed.
42. Laughed so hard you cried.
43. Cried yourself to sleep.
44. Laughed yourself to sleep.
45. Stabbed yourself.
46. Shot a gun.
47. Trash talked someone and then acted like their best friend the next day.
48. Been online for 9 consecutive hours.
49. Watched TV for 9 consecutive hours.
50. Watched an animal die.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR? 77%

51. Watched a person die.
52. Kissed somewhere with at least 1 person present.
53. Pranked somebody.
54. Put somebody in the hospital.
55. Snuck into someone's room and/or your own room after being out.
56. Made spicy beans.
57. Dressed punk.
58. Dressed Goth.
59. Dressed preppy .
60. Been to a motocross race.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 71%

61. Avoided somebody.
62. Been stalked.
63. Stalked someone.
64. Met a celebrity.
65. Played an instrument.
66. Ridden a horse.
67. Cut yourself.
68. Bungee jumped.
69. Ding dong ditched somebody.
70. Been to a wild party.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 67%

71. Been caught stealing something.
72. Kicked/punched a guy in the balls.
73. Stolen a boyfriend/girlfriend from a friend.
74. Gone out with your friend's crush.
75. Got arrested.
76. Been pregnant.
77. Babysat.
78. Been to another country.
79. Started your house on fire.
80. Had an encounter with a ghost.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 63%

81. Donated your hair to cancer patients.
82. Been asked out by someone that you never thought you'd be asked out by.
83. Cried over a member of the opposite sex.
84. Had a boyfriend/girlfriend for over 2 months.
85. Sat on your butt all day.
86. Ate a whole carton of ice cream all by yourself.
87. Had a job.
88. Gotten cut from a sports team.
89. Been called a whore.
90. Danced like a whore .

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 58%

91. Been mistaken for a celebrity.
92. Been in a car accident.
93. Been told you have beautiful eyes.
94. Been told you have beautiful hair.
95. Raped somebody.
96. Danced in the rain.
97. Been rejected.
98. Left a restaurant without paying.
99. Punched someone/slapped someone in the face.
100. Been raped.
FINAL PERCENTAGE.........52%

...that's pretty damn low :/

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My Playlist: [link]

http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/24163267/ Fri, 10 Apr 2009 10:56:15 PDT
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My Playlist: [link]

]]> ~becbecmuffin Cruise http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/24088074/ http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/24088074/ Mon, 06 Apr 2009 05:54:46 PDT

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My Playlist: [link]

APRIL FOOLS ]]> ~becbecmuffin watch this http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/24026116/ http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/24026116/ Thu, 02 Apr 2009 15:47:41 PDT [link]

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My Playlist: [link]

APRIL FOOLS ]]> ~becbecmuffin Break Up http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/23998037/ http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/23998037/ Wed, 01 Apr 2009 04:00:39 PDT On my fucking birthday. I tried to talk to him, really. But he said things just weren't working out. I love him. I still fucking love him. I can't believe he's doing this to me, after all I've been through for him. He practically spent the weekend at my house and now he's just....disappearing from my life?! This is not fair!

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My Playlist: [link]

APRIL FOOLS ]]> ~becbecmuffin Our sacrifice saved him. http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/23971526/ http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/23971526/ Mon, 30 Mar 2009 16:07:02 PDT
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My Playlist: [link]

]]> ~becbecmuffin Don't Think I Don't Think About It - Darius Rucker http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/23947239/ http://becbecmuffin.deviantart.com/journal/23947239/ Sun, 29 Mar 2009 08:33:33 PDT Swore I wasn't coming back, said I'd had enough
Saw you in the rear view standing, fading from my life
But I wasn't turnin' 'round
No not this time

But don't think I don't think about it
Don't think I don't have regrets
Don't think it don't get to me
Between the work and the hurt and the whiskey
Don't think I don't wonder 'bout
Could've been, should've been all worked out
I know what I felt, and I know what I said
But don't think I don't think about it

When we make choices, we gotta live with them
Heard you found a real good man and you married him
I wonder if sometimes I cross your mind
Where would we be today
If I never drove that car away?

Don't think I don't think about it
Don't think I don't have regrets
Don't think it don't get to me
Between the work and the hurt and the whiskey
Don't think I don't wonder 'bout
Could've been, should've been all worked out
Yeah I know what I felt, and I know what I said
But don't think I don't think about it
Don't think I don't think about it

Don't think I don't think about it
Don't think I don't have regrets
Don't think you don't get to me
Between the work and the hurt and the whiskey
Don't think I don't wonder 'bout
Could've been, should've been all worked out
I know what I felt, and I know what I said
But don't think I don't think about it, no no

Don't think I don't
Don't think I don't

--
My Playlist: [link]

]]> ~becbecmuffin