deviantART: by:betenik

deviantART: by:betenik http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:betenik&section=today deviantART RSS for by:betenik en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Fri, 18 Dec 2009 13:16:45 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png Exciting new journal :) http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/28445727/ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/28445727/ Thu, 19 Nov 2009 06:32:27 PST

Place text inside me for the "more" rollover!

Wa - hey!

]]> ~betenik New tumblr account http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/27775738/ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/27775738/ Thu, 15 Oct 2009 07:09:07 PDT [link]

I like tumblr. Check it for rants, ravings and pretty stuff from moi

and add me if you're on there too

]]> ~betenik 14k http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/27627946/ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/27627946/ Wed, 07 Oct 2009 06:10:06 PDT

I really should upload some more artwork next week using the work scanners, so I will. Yes.

Thanks everyone!

]]> ~betenik I Heart Charity Shops http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/27109880/ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/27109880/ Wed, 09 Sep 2009 08:18:28 PDT
That is all.

]]> ~betenik Bank Holiday Weekends http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/26868066/ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/26868066/ Fri, 28 Aug 2009 01:03:41 PDT going shopping in london tomorrow and a picnic on sunday with my fella and my becky XD lots of photos to be taken hooray!! and i think i'll spend monday smoking up and listening to blues while practising my harmonica. things are lookin good. new photos next week

what you all up to this weekend? have a lovely one!!! xxxx

]]> ~betenik MEN ARE HAPPIER (?) http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/26539732/ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/26539732/ Wed, 12 Aug 2009 01:39:29 PDT
NICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.

If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though itÂs only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesnÂt need but itÂs on sale.

BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .

The average number of items in the typical womanÂs bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesnÂt.

A man marries a woman expecting that she wonÂt change, but she does.

DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. ThereÂs no use in two people remembering the same thing!

Stolen from [link] for I am a thief!

]]> ~betenik Between a rock and a hard place http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/26205549/ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/26205549/ Mon, 27 Jul 2009 06:47:00 PDT
]]> ~betenik 25 this year http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/25833294/ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/25833294/ Thu, 09 Jul 2009 07:37:26 PDT
So...

I am going to start doing ONE TATTOO DESIGN EVERY DAY in my nifty new little sketchbook. more sketches, yeah? that's what to do. and i need to get my arse in gear regarding learning more about web coding and design.

Man oh man I cannot believe I am 25 this year. Fuck. And with no formal qualifications, I still have a job designing ads for national newspapers. This proves that I am the shit (hahahaha - joking!).

So, I will start uploading a tattoo sketch as often as possible, but I promise I will do one every day

]]> ~betenik Sunshine!!! http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/25010029/ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/25010029/ Fri, 29 May 2009 06:05:40 PDT

And it's Friday - yay!!!

More artwork soon - I am busy putting together a professional portfolio of print ads right now.

Have a good weekend folks!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

]]> ~betenik Fuck it all. God, just....just fuck it. http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/24852239/ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/24852239/ Wed, 20 May 2009 07:22:56 PDT
]]> ~betenik Kiriban? 12k...you know you want it! http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/24747448/ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/24747448/ Thu, 14 May 2009 01:05:11 PDT
so if you do, let me know and then tell me what you'd like. think of it as a free commish or summat.

bete xxxxxxxxxxxxx

]]> ~betenik Red and Green Tattoo Design http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/24714593/ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/24714593/ Tue, 12 May 2009 03:30:27 PDT [link]

Check it out please!!

Betenik xxxxxxxxx

]]> ~betenik Weekends are fun... http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/24406190/ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/24406190/ Fri, 24 Apr 2009 06:39:49 PDT
Only 2 weeks and I will have money again - woohoo!!

]]> ~betenik Does anyone wanna draw a picture of me? http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/24286301/ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/24286301/ Fri, 17 Apr 2009 06:42:07 PDT
Loma x

]]> ~betenik Kittens http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/24235615/ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/24235615/ Tue, 14 Apr 2009 09:25:35 PDT
]]> ~betenik 4 DAYS OFF http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/24140137/ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/24140137/ Thu, 09 Apr 2009 02:18:56 PDT
it's gonna be cool to have a whole 4 days off with the my honey. it's out 2 year anniversary on monday and i am going to smother him with affection <3 <3

i hope you all have a good few days

__________________________________________________

Maybe I'll post some new photos up after the bank holiday? Who knows?

]]> ~betenik :D sunshine!! http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/23757986/ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/23757986/ Wed, 18 Mar 2009 04:17:57 PDT to be where i'm goin'
in the sunshine of your love"

yey Cream! yey sun!! woohoo! it's lovely here in the UK at the mo, bit cold but gloriously sunny.

what's you favourite thing to do when it's sunny?

x

]]> ~betenik NEW HOME or THE MOST STRESSFUL DAY OF MY LIFE http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/23654898/ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/23654898/ Thu, 12 Mar 2009 05:47:32 PDT
We were all excited on Friday morning. We were like wheeeee new house yay!! No more living somewhere that the mice shit all over our food and there are pieces of building falling down! No more listening to the mental couple try to tear each other a new asshole!! A place we can decorate and furnish ourselves, and build into a home, not just a flat. The flat was GORGEOUS...did i meantion that?

Well, Fri morn we got up uber uber early and skipped off to happily find furniture (a mission with our streamlined budget) and wandered around for 4 hours until it was 1 o clock and time to get the keys to our new place. 1 o clock comes and goes. 1:15, 1:30...ring the landlord over and over again, his phone is off. "Don't worry babes, it's probably off cos he's running late and driving" reassures my fella. 1:45; "Maybe he thought it was 2? We'll give him til 2." 2:00, 2:15..2:30. "Well, he's obviously not coming." Phone still turned off. Obviously, I needed a fortifying whiskey as my instinct (being a hot tempered saggitarius) was to throw BRICKS through his FUCKING WINDOWS. I can control myself however, and an hour of hiccuping tears later (I was so heartbroken) Paul and I are surveying our almost entirely packed up room. We had the money to move but if we didn't move on Friday then we'd be stuck paying another month's rent for The Shithole, as I affectionately named it, and to top this off we had the money as a wage advance which I needed to pay off - in other words, we moved that weekend or we were stuck for at least another 2 months.

So I rally, get the local paper and ring any ads that looked good. And we did it. In an hour we'd found somewhere to move (I can find you a home in an hour if you have the cash, guaranteed) and had started loading up boxes. Unfortunately, because apparently it is fair to penalise us financially for not being in debt and not having credit cards coming out the jacksey, the new landlord wanted 2 months rent as deposit (Â£1130) plus another month's rent as rent (derr). So, we are so, SO broke. But, in the end, I think it'll be worth it. The new flat's nice, not the bohemian party nest we wanted but Paul preferred the one we now have from the start, and after a few days I think I do too. For example, it's new, and the landlord is like the Rupanis from Ideal (google that if you like) but much nicer, despite looking disapprovingly upon our stereo and many hundreds of CDs. He's furnishing it for us which is awesome. So, Paul and I finally have somewhere that is our own, that has a kitchen that is just for us, and the beginning of our proper life together. And I know he won't see this and he has been told by me already, but jesus christ I have an amazing fiance. I think that there is a bastard landlord (who contacted us the next day eventually, as if nothing had happened, with a text stating "my mate wos (sic) in hospital", and seemed annoyed that I didn't see that as an excuse not to at least let us know via text even what the FUCK was going on - we're nearly Â£1000 out of pocket cos he coulnd't spare 30 sec to send a text. That may sound heartless but all I was asking was 30 sec) who would have found himself many grand out of pocket if Paul wasn't there to temper me, dry my tears and love me with all his heart.

]]> ~betenik MOVING HOUSE :D + 11,000 http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/23483490/ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/23483490/ Thu, 05 Mar 2009 00:33:29 PST
It is gorgeous

massive rooms, old features, strange alcoves in the walls, retro 50s kitchen - we love it. the landlord seems to be a tad bonkers though, so I'm not gonna feel safe until we've got the keys tomorrow. He agreed to let us have it for Â£110 a week plus 4 weeks deposit upfront, making it Â£550...then when we phoned to confirm last night he said he was in financial trouble and needed Â£950 upfront...which we can't do - it's unfurnished, we have no furniture!! it made me cry - we've been hunting for months, been let down loads, and in the end the fact he'd made me cry swung it and we came to an agreement that we'd make up the rest over the next couple weeks. still, he was out of order and I think he knows it, my other half thinks he was just blagging to try and get more money out of us, but if he'd have said Â£950 upfront we'd never have gone and looked at it. as it is, we've fallen in love with the place and we are willing to live like squatters for a couple of months. hmm. we'll see what happens. seriously though - we have a sea view and a balcony, it's a beautiful flat, unfurnished and undecorated but we're gonna do it up bit by bit. It's a shame though, I should be over the moon today and I just feel sick with apprehension - if he changes his mind again i'm going to be heartbroken. watch this space.

in other news - how fantastic is the new Prodigy album? It's fucking awesome

11,000 pageviews - If you get this I will draw you a picture, you can choose what you want as well

Screen Capture and note me the deviation link

]]> ~betenik BUSY http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/23301835/ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/23301835/ Fri, 20 Feb 2009 07:05:16 PST

comms = tattoo designs x 2
mini band tour posters and flyers

work = lots

but my world is beautiful right now all things considered, and i hope yours is too.

]]> ~betenik new artwork!!!! http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/21925327/ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/21925327/ Wed, 11 Feb 2009 05:50:06 PST
enjoy

_______________________________________________________

busy busy busy...doing a tattoo commission even though by the time i finish work my fingers and shoulders are aching huge-style

xxx

_________________________________________
I wanna feature some awesome people. they all need a look...and in insteadofdeath, tekku, paulorocker and mmark's case i cannot believe they have so few page views!! sort it out, people!!

instead of death

cilitra

check it out!!!

________________________________________________
LINEARTS: feel free to colour these in

SYRINGE NURSE>

TANK GIRL

CATS

MAN'S RUIN TATTOO
________________________________________

FACEBOOK: my name is Loma and I am here:

Clickityclickclick

SCULPTORS, ARTISANS ETC: i want help with a dark tower chess set! if you know someone good for the job go to my forum post on:

Clickityclickclick

]]> ~betenik *birthday songs* http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/21876891/ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/21876891/ Mon, 08 Dec 2008 06:14:59 PST
got a beautiful Mucha card from my fiance ("Spring")

some birthday songs to rock out to (not birthday themed necessarily)

THE SUGARCUBES: Birthday
THE STONE ROSES: Tightrope
MOLOKO: Bring it Back (DYLMTS? version)
HERBALIZER: Giant Crawling insect Breaks
MONKEY: Monkey Bee (composed: Damon Albarn)
THE DOORS: Touch Me
THE CURE: Close To Me
BUCK 65: Food
THE RACONTEURS: Carolina Dream / Many Shades Of Black
NENA: 99 Red Balloons
CREAM: Sunshine Of Your Love
AMY WINEHOUSE: In My Bed
PETER, BJORN AND JOHN: Old Folks
CAKE: Going the Distance

party like me with JD and amaretto, cool shoes, old records and friends

xxxx have a good day xxxx

]]> ~betenik job + engagement - edit http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/21759573/ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/21759573/ Wed, 03 Dec 2008 04:43:58 PST i can't upload any artwork still, but at least I can keep in touch now.

For those who are interested, here is what i have been up to for the last two years that I haven't been online.

I had a nasty breakup, got a new fella and was pretty much forced to move after my ex got nasty and vicious, lying to his friends about how we'd broken up. He even accused me of shagging underage kids!!! He got someone to file a police report saying I was a drug dealer, that I'd been having an affair for a year with my current fella (I hadn't), telling everyone he'd caught us shagging when we never even kissed til after I'd finished with my ex. i only found all this out a few months ago, after my ex got drunk and finally admitted he's a liar to all his friends in the pub. Not sure if I covered this before but that's what happened. we we baaad for each other.

Anyways, so after he told my landlord my flat was empty and she left me a message saying she had new people moving in 5 days later (i was still living there) we had to leave most of our belongings behind

and move to southend, where there was affordable housing. I lost all my books, most of my clothes, most of my shoes, loads of letters and paperwork and stuff, most of my drawings, my RECORDS

just all my stuff

But Southend was gorgeous in the summer, even when you're broke. I started working in a casino, and we drank loads of cheap cider and hung out on the beach. Good times. We listened to loads of CDs and fell more and more in love every day. And now it's nearly 2 years later and in September, Paul proposed to me with a beautiful ring, at sunset, on a pier on the beach. As I said yes and kissed him, fireworks went off, literally

and I'm so, so happy

and over the time we've been here we've built a little life for ourself.

I've been a supervisor in an Odeon cinema for the last 10 months, but I walked out and now i am a graphic designer/web lackey for a mail order company, working with a little family and it's cool. So at least I can keep up, even if I can't upload any of my art. I've been collecting vinyl and CDs and books and made friends but mostly I'm at home with my boy, loving him to death.

I've been organising a club night as well, a vinyl love night, cos i love vinyl, and you should too.

Apart from that, I'm 24 on monday and getting well grown up. Eep. I went to see jamie T a few months ago which was awesome!! Living near the beach is cool, you can get drunk and hit the arcades!!

That's about it. My life is turning the way I want it to and I'm a happy bunny

Thanks for reading and thanks to all the people still favving my stuff here and there. i promise that withing a few months, I will be uploading stuff again.

Loves,

Loma xxx (The future Mrs Kelly)

]]> ~betenik moneh http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/19675790/ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/19675790/ Wed, 30 Jul 2008 07:42:16 PDT

one day soon betenik will own a laptop with woreless internet and can lose her life again online.

i am sorry

too much real world and real work, not enough playtime.

know i love you all x

]]> ~betenik A New Place http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/13480790/ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/13480790/ Mon, 25 Jun 2007 05:03:33 PDT
Hope you're all well. God, it's been a crazy few months, split up with my boyfriend, gained a new one, and moved. Oh, and also had my ex's mates hassle me for three months which is why I moved. If you're reading this (and you know who you are) thanks for lying to me about getting evicted, and telling the landlord we moved out a month ago. Joke's on you.

I'm not gonna disclose where I'm living now, cos I don't want any more hassle, suffice to say I'm happier here.

Enough of that! When I get a chance to get online for longer than 60 minute bursts I got loads of artwork to put up, and messages to reply to. So, for now, here's wishing my lil Aurishe luck, you guys a great summer, and all my love,

Loma x

]]> ~betenik happy festive season a month too late!!! http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/11573737/ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/11573737/ Fri, 26 Jan 2007 08:18:48 PST
well, i'm sorry i haven't been around, i lost my phone and have had no sightings of the internet for about 4 months or something. if wolverhampton people could note me to get my new number, i just joined the library and should be able to get online more now, albeit for only an hour max a day. we should be online at home soon, since we are getting a phoneline and stuff soon. yes, we have a flat, nathan's been promoted and i'm waiting to be made team leader at work - how exciting? never thought i'd stay in essex this long. started making some tattooed, pierced up mates. and i got my bottom lip pierced to match the top one!

i miss you guys in wolves, by the way, please don't think i don't. my head's been in a really selfish place, i guess, i've been trying to get help for what i now recognise as an eating disorder, and some mental problmes i've been to scared to face up to. i'm still getting deep phases of depression, yada yada, but i won't bore you all with that.

i hopoe you all had a good christmas!! mine was ok i guess. a lot of drinking took place. i hope you all got your hearts' desire! and i hope your new years were all good too.

i'll be uploading some artwork soonish, in a month or so maybe, been caning tattoo designs, really into it right now. and i have been dancing in indie clubs in leopard print heels. i'm so cool ^ _ ^

i better go, i'm afraid, but i'd like to hear that you are all well.
xxxxxx

]]> ~betenik yeah motherfuckers. http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/9996013/ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/9996013/ Thu, 07 Sep 2006 07:01:24 PDT How come every time you come around
My London, London Bridge wanna go down?
Like London London London
Wanna go down like
London London London?
La, lalalalaaaa,
London London London.

Well? How come? ]]> ~betenik Should I... http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/9750289/ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/9750289/ Wed, 16 Aug 2006 15:45:15 PDT
A FinDom is a woman who takes complete control of her slaves' finances, ordering them to fund her lifestyle, buy her gifts, luxuries, holidays, cars, supply her with prepaid credit cards etc. The slaves sign a contract signing their life over, in essence, but you can also be paid random gifts if that is what you want. I love the idea. I have a massive dominatrix streak in me but having to physically torture a slave for 3 hours would bore me. That in intself is the kind of mondset a financial dom has to have - an utter contempt for the 'losers' who pay her rent, food bills etc.

I love the idea.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In other news...we will be going back to Essex on Saturday!! It's sorted hurrah hurrah hurrah!! No more tears

]]> ~betenik ESSEX http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/9733384/ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/9733384/ Tue, 15 Aug 2006 06:38:16 PDT
there's such a lot happened recently, both globally and in my personal life, i don't know where to start.

israel/lebanom
omg. i was so shocked when that all kicked off, it seemed to come out of nowhere and was really sad. i hope everyone is ok. i know this is, like, the most trite comment i could make, but i don't really understand why they're fighting. i hope every deviant from those places is ok and haven't suffered any personal loss.

BA terror attack plan
and as if that wasn't bad enough, we then hear that someone has tried to set off bombs in every airport in the UK. We went through Stansted Airport yesterday to get our coach back up north, and everyone's belongings were in clear plastic bags, so that customs can get people through faster. slightly shocking thinking that at any moment we could have gotten blown up. the world has gone fuckin mental!

Essex
Witham, Witham, Witham. Tiny little town in the middle of nowhere, in between Colchester and Chelmsford (MAN BARRACK!!). Nate's folks, having persuaded us to give up our flat and move south for a holiday, had a fight with him while I was at work and kicked us both out. Nice. Witham's not like Wolves. Hundreds of teen mums, a hanful of pubs, some shops and two brassieres thingies

mm gastro food! a handful of clothes shops, a tiptop stationery shop and some ting tang bang charity shops. i found a luella bartley tshirt for £2.50, i think it's worth £125! bonus. There's no bedsits, all the housing is taken up by teenage mothers and you need around 1.5k to just get a flat. You have to hope you can get lucky and get a spare room off someone on the cheap if you have no real money. But it was ok, we get a northern holiday now

and to see our friends.

I got a job working in the Wetherspoons, in the kitchen

which is nice. Nate and I got kicked out of his parents' house on Sunday so we came back for a week to chill our heads. should hopefully have a flat or something next week so i can go back and finish my training. i actually like being south. Essex is hot, beautiful and friendly. We made a really tight set of friends who ran around for two days solid trying to find a way for us to stay there. I can't really be bothered to go into all the whys and wherefores right now, let's just say Nate's folks are mental. They said they never asked us to move in in the first place - what a change of heart!! they left our stuff on their drive, to get fuckin rained on - nice. Could have been worse.

I'll be glad to catch up with my Northern mates, but right now, I'm afraid, Essex is where my heart is - and believe me, that shocks me. Wolverhampton just upsets me to be honest. I miss some aspects of it but I feel like I got a chance for a new life and I don't wanna give it up just yet. In a couple of months, maybe, but not just yet. like i say, i have made some friends who would literally do anything for me, of such a wide range of ages, that i hated not being able to say goodbye. i should know for certain tonight whether we're staying or going. sorry if it upsets anyone that we might just be effing off again this week. last night i honestly thought we were gonna have to stay up north - now we might get a chance to finish what we started in Witham.

I don't think I've drawn a proper picture since I left Wolverhampton. I will try and rectify that soon, I promise, and submit some photos of Essex and stuff in a couple of weeks.

Thanks for all the favs and nice comments and watches I got while I was away

I will return the favours later tonight

random
i have been buying lots of vinyl from charity shops again. i got some james brown, some more boney m, billy idol, some very very very old NOW!that's what i call music compilations, michael jackson's thriller, some bebel gilberto, and god knows what else. i also got some nice earrings with dice on them.

i am going to be working on tattoo flash, as i'm becoming serious about wanting to be a tattoo artist. i have to start getting them first though!

still got to sort out my SG stuffs, but that will have to wait for a couple more weeks, working and finding somewhere to live... ]]> ~betenik updates http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/9340451/ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/9340451/ Tue, 11 Jul 2006 07:24:19 PDT
So I hope (though I am sure it won't) Wolves will miss me. I won't miss it very much, that's for sure. But I will miss the friends I have here, especially if we never come back, but I won't miss the place. I will regret the fact I never got a chance to go out properly with my mates here before we left, and I hope that a lot of you will still be around. I will miss y'all, but it won't be for long. I'll be back to DJ for y'all if all goes according to plan!

Note me if you want my email or my phone number, so we can keep in touch outside of dA as well.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

you should know Slutton (Matt) and I DJ at the Giff (an industrial night) and for the Alternative Society for Uni (a nice mixed up mash up night). We went to speak to Wendy yesterday, as we haven't been getting a decent response for our night for a variety of reasons:
*It's the summer, which means festivals, which means people just aren't going out as much as they tend to be saving for a fest.
*None of the people from the forum have been coming to the night, even though we started running it for them (bar Theo, he came, safe dude!).
*The students have run away for the summer.
*Not a lot of people seem to want to listen to Industrial for 4/5 hours, the DJs included.

Now, this is all well and good, but I hear you cry, Where can we see you lay down some badass tracks? Now, don't worry. We have a plan. Wendy has agreed to let us have a hiatus on the DJing for the next month or so, and at the end of August/start of Sept, we are rehashing and relaunching the night, going back to playing the mix of stuff we played at the Headbanger's Ball and for the Alt Society night. Wendy is letting us play in the main room (hells yah) on a Monday Night, with drinks offers for NUS holders in the pipeline- cool or what? She has also agreed that we can host the Alt Society night at the Giffard and do it in conjunction with them, possibly setting up a second night with a crossover to the Planet. A lot of this is still under discussion, but we are confirmed for Monday nights (which I think we should call alt.giff - geddit?) and will be confirming the rest of the info soon. We need to talk to the new head of the Alt Soc but Wendy said she already arranged a talk with him. So Carl (it is you, isn't it) - if you see this, message me or Matt. Any feedback on this would be welcome, thanks guys. I should also give a special shout to the crew who came and supported us boring week after boring week and we can promise a better mix of music when we restart! So thanks, dudes and ladies and creatures of the night and poi!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

~emorei, ~Bearach, *whisperelmwood and ~Blue-Nine, we will miss you, but we will be back don't cry!!
xxxxx ]]> ~betenik independence day http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/9267346/ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/9267346/ Tue, 04 Jul 2006 03:56:10 PDT
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the woman who died when the EMTs stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didnt have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

Repost this if you realize homophobia is wrong.
Belief: The only time you should ever judge love is when one of the persons in the couple is being mistreated. Homosexual relationships are just as healthy and just as loving as heterosexual couples.

Please repost!

taken from ~hexihash's journal. guess today is the day? ]]> ~betenik it's 4:05am, on a saturday night, http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/9172606/ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/9172606/ Sun, 25 Jun 2006 05:04:04 PDT
i need a new direction when it comes to finding a job. i don't wanna end up in a shitty office, or another crackwhore populated bar. so if anyone can employ me in any of the following, here is my dream job list:

^tattoo artist. even if it's just watching you do it, tracing your tattoos out and stuff, and making you tea, and cleaning eqt
^a shop assistant somewhere like urban outfitters, where i would get a hefty discount on the "C is for crackwhore" tshirt i <3 (yes this might be a crackwhore themed post)
^a nightclub photographer (yeah some people will pay you for this. what a great job!)
^a porn shop assistant (i used to do this before, and it was actualy pretty fun. i must just be an inbred slapper or something)
^a cocktail waitress in a nice ass bar, where the girls are hot and tatted
^a hairdresser. i've thought about being a hairdresser before, and i <3 the idea of stealing heavy duty hair bleach!

not much else to report. i've promised myself that if by next friday i don't have employment, i'm gonna be selling my sweet ass on the street corner.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

i want tattoos, and right now my anger is such that i am craving a new piercing. i have been imagining that needle going back through my lip, or my nose, or the back of my wrist, so i can get lacing. i am going to reward myself with a tattoo and a hefty g'n't when i find employment.

but i determined to go in a new direction. i'm not happy with the way the last year of my life has gone, and i certainly don't wanna still be here next summer. that said, nate and i have made plans to go travelling. i can't wait. we're gonna buy a landrover and drive all over the world, taking photos and gathering clothing and jewellery so i can start a shop when we get home. home is not going to be Wolverhampton - we're thinking of a move to London when a certain family event takes place (££s involved is all i'll say on the matter). i'm going to be tattooed and pierced and dyed and live by the beach if not london. i am going to be who i always wanted to be and recently i have taken the first couple of steps to it.

that's all for now, back to jobcentreplus.

anyone wanna buy me a present? send money to me and i'll get your name tatooed on my butt.

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
EMO SONG LYRICS :d

dear diary,
mood: apathetic
my life is spiraling downward. i couldn't get enough money to go to the Blood Red Romance and Suffocate Me Dry Concert. It sucks cause they play some of my favorite songs like 'Stab My Heart Because I Love You,' and 'Rip Apart My Soul,' and of course, 'Stabby Rip Stab Stab." and it doesn't help that i couldn't get my hair to do that flippy thing either, like that guy from that band could do, some days you know. . .

i'm an emo kid, non-conforming as can be
you'd be non-conforming to if u look just like me
i have paint on my nails and make-up on my face
i'm almost emo enough to start shaving my legs
'cause i feel real deep when i'm dressing in drag
i call it freedom of expression most just call me a f*g
'cause their dudes look like chicks, their chicks look like d*kes
'cause emo is one step below transvestite

stop my breathing and slit my throat
i must be emo
i don't jump around when i go to shows
i must be emo

i'm dark and sensitive with low self-esteem
the way i dress makes everyday feel like Hallowe'en
i have no real problems but i like to make believe
i stole my sister's mascara now i'm grounded for a week
sulking and writing poetry are my hobbies
i can't get through a Hawthorne Heights album without sobbing
girls keep breaking up with me, it' never any fun
they say they already have a p*ssy, they don't need another one

stop my breathing and slit my throat
i must be emo
i don't jump around when i go to shows
i must be emo
dye in my hair and polish on my toes
i must be emo
i play guitar and write suicide notes
i must be emo

my life is just a black abyss, you know, it's so dark. and it's suffocating me. grabbing ahold of me and tightening it's grip, tighter than a pair of my little sister's jeans . . . which look great on my by the way

when i get depressed i cut my wrists in every direction
hearing songs about getting dumped give me an erection
i write in a live journal and wear thick rimmed glasses
i told my friends i bleed black and cry during classes
i'm just a bad, cheap imitation of goth
you can read me "Catcher in the Rye," and watch... ]]> ~betenik 10 things http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/9159173/ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/9159173/ Fri, 23 Jun 2006 12:50:17 PDT plutonia tagged me. it is be the first time is be tagged. yay!

1. i draw women cos they are sexy. i love the lines, and outfits are just more fun to do on women.

2. i do not take to being told what to with my art very well. this is why i falied my first year of uni (amongst other reasons, personal ones) and have never finished a college course.

3. i used to wana be a fashion designer. my mum still has all my old shoe designs in a folder somewhere.

4. the suicide girls inspire me, and always give me some new ideas. (and i am gonna be one,yay! just a few more bits to give them and i'll be live. i'll let you all know in a few weeks.)

5. my dream job with my art is to be a tattooist. i love designing tatts but i don't know if i'm good enough yet.

6. i get impatient sometimes, which is why my art is so hit and miss. but i do try and improve myself.

7. atm i am really into photos, and i love taking them, posing for them, and looking at them.

8. i used to be a bodypainter, for a nightclub that played techno. it is the most money i have ever made. i really should get back into that. i once got £50 for drawing some designs on people + another £30 for a custom design for someone to have tattooed one them, which idesigned in said nightclub, tripping my balls off on pills. weird to think someone i don't know is wandering round with some design i made on them. i wish i could get a job using art, but i know deep down my faith is not far enough in it, hence wanting to be a tattooist. your job changes every day with that and i think it would really improve my art, but be free enough not to stifle me.

9. you prolly wouldn't know it, but i love graffiti.

10. ...erm...my fave things to use are watercolour pencils, fineliners, markers and photoshop. but i am trying to iomprove with pencils, because that is what you use for flash (tattoo) designs.

i tag =emorei, ~TripAddict, :devfelineinfektous:, ~avivi, *whisperelmwood and *MyPrivateParty ]]> ~betenik news and questions http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/9132869/ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/9132869/ Wed, 21 Jun 2006 02:03:26 PDT

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ZOMG LOL OMGWTFBBQ!!! <3 SGs. a few weeks... also, go cheer one *FelineInfektious, she's at the same stage of the process as me, and her art is pretty cool too!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SOME RANDOM QUESTIONS.
and i may even tag people.

WHAT IS YOUR:
-> ringtone: a random nokia one that sounds like the deathchild of breakbeat and happy hardcore and nokia ringtone
->middle name: i don't have one. any ideas as to what my middle name should be?
-> sign: Saggy
-> pet's name: Flook

WHAT COLOR:
-> is your hair: brownblack and varying shades of blonde
-> are your eyes: brown bleh
-> are your nails: bright red
-> are your socks: dont have any on
-> is your shirt: white with a silver skull n crossbones

RIGHT NOW:
-> the closest thing to your left? my phone i guess.
-> what's in your pockets?: 5ps and a cashcard and a purple clipper
-> are you thirsty: kinda
-> what are you sitting on: a seat, what with being on the computer and all
-> where are you: living room
-> is the light on: yes
-> what are you listening to: chris moyles's world cup song ha ha

ONE OR THE OTHER:
-> cookies or candy: cookies
-> kiss or hug: hug
-> school or work: school - god you appreciate school when you are working
-> apple or banana: apple
-> shower or bath: shower
-> cingular or verizon: i don't use either - does anyone in the UK?
-> ps2 or xbox: ooooh....ps2
->whipped cream or cherries: cherries

FAVORITE:
-> animal: right now, ferrets and giraffes
-> pokemon: pikachu in the amv for msi's "bitches"
-> clothes brand: i don't know. if i could afford it, marc jacobs or stella mccartney. otherwise, i don't really have one.

RANDOM:
-> what do you wish you were doing right now: doing a photoshoot with an SG on a beach somewhere, making money for having fun for a change
-> What was the last thing you bought: cherry coke
-> Are you wearing a belt: 2 - a white one with 3 rows of square spikes, and a green and black checkerboard one. the zip on my jeans is broken and i need to hide that!

LAST:
-> thing you drank: ice water
-> song you played: judith - a perfect circle, the danny lohen RMX
-> words you said: "oh, it's a remix!"
-> place you went: the bathroom
-> person you thought about: my fiance i guess
-> dollar you spent: i'll change that for £1, and it was the cherry coke, which was actually 90p.

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?:
my hair is a mess and i wanna be in bed

2. When is the next time you will have sex?:
i don't know. it is a delicate time of the month.

A word that rhymes with door:
bore

4. Favorite planet?:
earth i suppose.

5. Who is the 4th person on your received call list on your mobile?:
a friend, Ian

6. What'd the last text message you recieved say?
You guys still up?

7. Wearing?:
skinny jeans, the aforementioned top and belts, vintage glass beads, a vintage silver bracelet and a cyber pink and clear pvc wristband.

8. Do you "label" yourself?:
no, labelling is for other people to do.

9. Name the brand of shoes you're currently wearing?:
the last pair i was wearing are by Underground

10. Bright or Dark Room?:
bright enough for me to read or sketch by

11. What do you think about the person who took this survey last?:
she's cool and i admire the way she deals with things. i wish i could see her soon, but i don't know when it will happen because i am running round trying to get a job. mind you, that applies to =emorei too!

13. What did your last text message you sent say?:
Yeah just gettin dressed

14. Do you like feet?:
not in particular, although if we didn;t have them i would have no excuses to go shoe shopping

15. Where is your letter box?:
middle of the door, where most are.

16. What's a word that you say a lot?:
like,... ]]> ~betenik someone help me! http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/9093180/ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/9093180/ Sat, 17 Jun 2006 21:47:33 PDT
i have spent the last couple of weeks, and the last 48 hours in particular phoning the landline over and over and over again. speaker, redial, ringringring...no answer. speaker, redial, ringringring...no answer. speaker, redial, ringringring...no answer. etc. i've ended up having to phone a dude at work (who i thought was kinda a friend) who coldly informed me he'd been told not to get involved (fuck me, i note he's even taken me off his myspace friends list). well jesus fucking christ it's obvious every one there is involved - there's a lot of lying going on. but i'm getting pretty tired and bored of all this bullshit. i want that money, i want to be treated with some basic respect and i don't wanna have to drag solicitors into it. but they are being so fuckin nasty to me at the moment i can't understand it. lisa's the one who told me to (and i quote) "Fuck off, don't knock on my fucking door, don't come into my fucking bar again" before accusing of me of being a liar, and making up stuff about my fella being sick to hurt her, because apparently that's what kind of person i am. now she's denying she ever fired me, it's gotten way too nasty and i'm actually starting to give up on the money and just wanna get in touch with the local rag. i want her to know she can't treat me like this and expect me to roll over. i'm at a loss for once in my life - you don't expect adults to act like this, and then barefaced lie in front of people. i'm starting to feel like i might have imagined it all, but she's got til monday - then i do drag legalality into it. and i swear to the powers that be SHE IS GONNA FUCKING REGRET the day she decided she could act like this.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

on another note, if you get my 5000 kiri, i will draw you a picture or take a photo of me lookin sultry, whichever you prefer

]]> ~betenik goes growl http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/9036190/ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/9036190/ Sun, 11 Jun 2006 11:09:47 PDT
**artists with 1000s of pageviews who rip off jamie hewlett in a completely unimaginative way and
**"stock" artists who are an emo or goth 14 year old with a webcam.

i even saw a MALE "stock goth narc" as i call 'em - one word - UBERGAY.

why oh WHY do people encourage this? i have a few JH fans in my watch list - but ALL of them have their own style. i just ended up at a gallery where all the art is Jamie Hewlett-copied (not ripped, not influenced, just made to look like he drew it) and the girl has 135k pageviews! i mean WTF?!?!? i have some really talented people in my watch that don't get the recog they deserve, so go to these places and big em up!!

=emorei a wicked all-rounder and best mate
~chillchill a criminally over-ignored russian artist
~MaanBanaan graf artist
~TripAddict mental crazy painter

and next week i will feature more!

oh if only i had a sub, i could put thumbnails in...but i can't so that will have to do

]]> ~betenik name journal for fun http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/9011820/ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/9011820/ Thu, 08 Jun 2006 18:34:32 PDT Amita-Eppes's journal

YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet and current street name)
Goldie Rugby

YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (grandfather/grandmother on your dad's side, your favorite candy)
Mabel Poprocks

YOUR "FLY GIRL/GUY" NAME: (first initial of first name, first two or three letters of your middle name)
P Mor
YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)
Green Giraffe

YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)
idonthaveamiddlename Nottingham

YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (first 3 letters of your last name, last 3 letters of mother's first name)
Mor Net

JEDI NAME: (middle name spelled backwards, your mom's maiden name spelled backwards)
emanelddimaevahtnodi afferref

SUPERHERO NAME: ("The", color of your favorite fruit, the automobile you drive)
The Red Mustang (i don't have a mustang in fact i don't drive, but i want a mustang.

--------------------

You should all do this

]]> ~betenik INDUSTRIAL REVOLUTION KICKS OFF!! http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/9002071/ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/9002071/ Wed, 07 Jun 2006 18:22:09 PDT
The Dark Room (Upstairs)
The Giffard Arms
Victoria Street
Wolverhampton

[link]

Slutton and Wanty ]]> ~betenik my fiance has a dA account at last! http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/8859226/ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/8859226/ Tue, 23 May 2006 23:05:58 PDT [link] so go add him

also, an idea for a flyer design is up, so let me know what you think, please!

and this journal will be gone byebye in a couple days and i am going to big people up!!

xx ]]> ~betenik DJing pictures http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/8829498/ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/8829498/ Sat, 20 May 2006 20:59:56 PDT [link]

go check that out to see the carnage of our night

]]> ~betenik DJING :D http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/8785763/ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/8785763/ Tue, 16 May 2006 06:48:43 PDT
In other news, right now it's all about getting drunk and going out graffing. Well, not all about it, Matt and I are trying to keep the practice up so we don't mess up on thursday, but it's a bit difficult..we have lost a good deal of music when his PC died and we are just praying it will all go off ok. We have our requests book, some fans, flyers and the finalised poster, I have my industrial boots and i'm really really looking forward to it, it should be loads of fun. Then next Thurs we might go to Brum to flyer our new night outside Apoptygma Bezerk.

And i promise once my tablet is fixed, i will be doing some more art work.. but you might have to deal with some photos of graf and my own graf instead first.

Any RL friendies who read this, i really look forward to seeing you on thursday and we wanna thank y'all so much for your support and patience over the last couple of weeks.

<3 <3 <3

And i am going to thank my dA/RL crossover friendies by doing a featured art journal sometime next week, along with hopefully some dope pix of the night. ]]> ~betenik more stuff soon http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/8730649/ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/8730649/ Wed, 10 May 2006 13:37:38 PDT
xx ]]> ~betenik My Guide to being horribly, horribly fired. http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/8627387/ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/8627387/ Sun, 30 Apr 2006 04:16:19 PDT
We get there and the bouncers let us in, but we got to the bar to be told we weren't allowed to be served. So i went to speak to lisa (my boss), honestly thinking they were joking, but feeling the worst in my tummy. And like WHOAH - apparently i'm lying about nate being sick, taking the piss out of her and her husband (everyone bear in mind this woman had the nerve to throw that in my face when a>the only reason we hadn't already quit was cos he was in hospital and b>they're only married in name; she farts about with her new boyfriend in front of him all the time) and not worth her effort. being called a liar in such a pleasant way really finished the night off, i can tell you.

i am still in shock - i really, really can't believe she would think i made nate's being sick up. i've spent a a year in tha place, watching how fucking shoddily the place is run. i've had glasses thrown at me, been threatened, the bouncers allow guns and blades in all the time, and one of our customers went down for selling lovely drugs like crack and heroin. And she thinks I'm lying because someone told her they'd heard nate ask me permission to come into work. And if she thinks she's not gonna suffer cos of all this...ha.

I'm still in shck. A year. A year of being lied to constantly by her, being bitched about by all the staff, and the worst of it is my reputation will be completely shot now. I'm gonna be the girl who lies about her boyfriend being really sick to get him loads of time off. I know. that doesn't even make any sense, does it, going to all this effort to shortstaff myself and my own shifts.

See? No matter what I try and do to make everyone happy, everyone just shots it back out in my face. ]]> ~betenik May 2006 http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/8589813/ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/8589813/ Wed, 26 Apr 2006 08:41:35 PDT
LASCIVIOUS BACKLASH will be playing at The Giffard Arms on May 18th, playing a mix of industrial, rock, metal, hiphop, alternative, retro, goth, techno, dnb and synthpop.

Lascivous Backlash is

and

, entry will be cheap and it is the Wolverhampton Uni's Unofficial Alternative End Of Year Ball. It'll be a few quid to get in, kicking off at about 9pm til 1am.

check Lascivous Backlash Myspace There should be Richard Cheese Kareoke, KMFDM covers and lots of depravity. It would be cool to see y'all :>

In other news, I got some new clothes and makeup which is nice. Now I am fully prepared for all eventualities.

Still haven't applied to be a SG yet but i'm getting there in terms of having some cool photos coming along.

And Nate is taking me out tonight before work - i am like this close to just quitting but my boss is sick again and we would be made to feel so guilty if we left, even though everyone there, damn near, is an asshole. ]]> ~betenik May 2006 http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/8589801/ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/8589801/ Wed, 26 Apr 2006 08:39:21 PDT
LASCIVIOUS BACKLASH will be playing at The Giffard Arms on May 18th, playing a mix of industrial, rock, metal, hiphop, alternative, retro, goth, techno, dnb and synthpop.

Lascivous Backlash is :ICONBETENIK: and

, entry will be cheap and it is the Wolverhampton Uni' ]]> ~betenik i gots pierced ^ _ ^ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/8550990/ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/8550990/ Sat, 22 Apr 2006 12:50:06 PDT [link] and let me know what you guys think. tattoos next, i have designed a couple that i think will work.

i feel so much better for this, it sounds silly but i feel like i'm getting back to who i used to be.

i might be changing jobs - i got myself an interview at another bar, i have to go in tomorrow and if i get it i can take a couple weeks off and have some fun!! look out, people..

and i have some pictures of

looking fit as fuck in cyber geisha/queen amidala makeup, those photos coming soon

]]> ~betenik XD XD +photo account http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/8478927/ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/8478927/ Mon, 17 Apr 2006 08:17:26 PDT
i want my tattoo designs to click although i have decided on one already.

and i have some new babies... *secret*

i will get some artwork uploaded soon, but for now i'm gonna have a smoke and try and get mentally prepared for the hellhole that will be the Bank Holiday Weekend at the bar. *cry* my boyfriend is off sick for the week and loads of other people are off for various reasons as as far as i know i'm not even getting timeandahalf for the holiday.

sucks to be me.

emorei, whisperelmwood - i hope y'all feel better soon xxx

edit: i have submitted some snapshots, which are in my scraps folder so if you like them let me know!

trying to get some that are good enough to apply to be a suicide girl with so if anyone has any advice it would be appreciated

edit: go here: [link] - this is my new photo account. if you'd let me take photos of you, let me know, please. no nakies or anything... ]]> ~betenik not tagged but i wanted to do it anyway http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/8445380/ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/8445380/ Wed, 12 Apr 2006 05:39:56 PDT

1. when i am hungover i get this weird craving for orange icelollies - and i have to either go out and buy some or send my fella/friends etc. and they're all i can keep down when i am hungover. i have just been out and bought 7 or 8 of them.

2. i have not let anyone other than me cut my hair for about 8 years now.

3. i love to cuss.

4. even when i am not hungover, i still love the hydrating feeling of crunching ice. i work in bar and have been known to eat my way through four glasses of ice in a night. yet, i don't own an ice cube tray.

5. i adore smelly, salty foods like olives, and can eat a 1kg jar in one go. but i am also the only person i know who likes anchovies.

6. i don't like wearing matching socks.. unless they are on show. i do tend to cut exciting socks into armbands and then try and wear them as socks again anyways.

i'm not tagging anyone, since no one tagged me..i am just gonna go get another orange ice lollie. ]]> ~betenik cutting my hair http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/8301322/ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/8301322/ Wed, 29 Mar 2006 04:23:30 PST
i'm sick of my hair and am gonna cut it

no really

^^

*gets scissors* ]]> ~betenik oh god it just gets better http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/8231145/ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/8231145/ Tue, 21 Mar 2006 20:16:39 PST
and my mother has been put on extra meds because her drinking on antidepressants is messing up her insides.

plus sides? ....................................................................................................
i got a new astral plane style pic finished today - was supposed to go a-visitin but instead friends turned up at mine unannounced - which i love

- but still - i'm not good at telling people to go away when i have stuf to do. emorei, i promise, soon

i'll be staying up to phone the doctor at about 8 (4 hours from now) and i'll be looking at back up jobs too. isn't life fun? ]]> ~betenik My heart is breaking today. http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/8186977/ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/8186977/ Fri, 17 Mar 2006 10:13:12 PST
I can't handle the thought that she can't stand me having my own life. Everytime I start to think about it I feel more and more guilty, because I don't, deep down, feel like I have the right to be happy while my parents aren't/ So I don't call as often as I should because I'm sick of fielding needless anger. I have enough anger in myself, trying to hold back the angry screaming breakdown that I know is inside of me, having to force myself not to pick up that knife and reopen old scars. It's hard to explain to someone who's never been there (like my mother) but there is something divine about the pain you cause yourself, more controllable and understandable than the pain caused by others. I imagine the blood, how it will look, how it will feel, because sometimes now, I can feel something inside me dying- something that is stopping me feeling as much as I should because I wouldn't be able to handle it.

Right now all I can think of are my mother's claims on me - kindly telling me that I'm a stupid bitch, didn't I know whores should get paid? That all the aggro between her and my dad is my fault because I'm such a disappointing daughter, a shit person, a bad girl. All I can see beyond these words is my dad getting hurt over and over again - kettles thrown at him, knifes in his arms and face, his blood covering the kitchen. Is it any wonder that sometimes I lose my grip? I thought I was over this but I don't think I ever will be, deep down; I'm so scared that I'm going to be as big a disappointment to my own daughters. But everytime I close my eyes all the violence of my life is there again, in my face. I'll keep turning away from it but eventually it snaps back into focus, hitting me and taking my breath away.

I'll just have to keep fighting though, won't I? ]]> ~betenik Dear God, it's all go here. http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/8181323/ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/8181323/ Thu, 16 Mar 2006 18:05:50 PST
1. 1 Miscellaneous

* [X] astral plane has received its 1,000th view. Mar 16, 2006, 11:06 AM

YAY! YAY! thank you all so much XD i got a special screen and everything (me being me forgot to screenshot it D: i'll see if it is in my history

but still, that's pretty astounding

i certainly wasn't expecting that

2. I wanna pimp this club to the women, which I have just become admin to:

It is intended to explore the beauty, pain and emotion involved in being a woman, so go check it out - there's some great pieces, some great ideas and a great attitude there. XD

3. Byebye subscription. Weirdly, as soon as my sub went, all my picture view problems disappeared too. It's like I either get Preview thumbs or the actual views, but not both. Ah well XD

I also wanna promise my [rl] friends that I will surface soon. Just feeling a bit existential nihilist at the moment, and I'm sorry if you feel hurt by my absence, but I promise I will be back soon.

Take it easy guys, peace and light XD ]]> ~betenik YAY! HE DID IT!! graf lettering related http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/8107005/ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/8107005/ Wed, 08 Mar 2006 20:03:31 PST

yes.

my lovely friend peter and my other lovely friend adam (not my only lovely friends, i hasten to add, and a different adam from both dickhead adam and

adam) have finally finished their album and put their website up. it's a teensy bit glitchy but i am proud to say that as well as their hard and well-deserved accomplishment making me proud as hell of them, my lettering is the font on their site (well, the headlines and links and stuffs). i haven't been credited yet but that's getting sorted and i did them with my xmas present from

which was a beautiful calligraphy pen and they look pretty dope, i have to say XD

please go to [link] and check em out, then go to [link] and check out their beautiful jazzy nubreaks souly hiphoppy wonderfullness. you might hate hiphop - but i promise that among their songs (from political hiphop to this beautiful simple thank you to the sun, flowers and nature's beauty called 'colours' - it's one of those shivers down your spine songs - they're ALL fantastic) you'll find something you fall in love with. and all of it (save some guest vocals) is done by people 24 and under. UNDER. pete (who is the founder) is only just 20. it's astounding. ask

- she'll tell ya (she like me has an advance original copy of their album *wibble*) XDXDXD

please go love them as much as we do ^^

shiny lovely pretty things

for teh tank girl goodness
[link] - paper tiger - check em out for musicy wonderfullness ]]> ~betenik temper http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/8091032/ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/8091032/ Tue, 07 Mar 2006 07:11:24 PST

yes.

when i lose my temper, the bathroom gets smashed up. great. i love the council tax office, the way they're trying to screw us for loads of money, the way this whole year has been a waste of time and energy.

shiny lovely pretty things

for teh tank girl goodness
bleargh ]]> ~betenik 3000 thanks ^^ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/8069170/ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/8069170/ Sat, 04 Mar 2006 21:18:27 PST

yes.

Mood:

Proud

:)

ignore my last journal entry - sleep deprivation, bailiffs, and illness make me moody, horrible and ungrateful when i should have been saying

THANK YOU ALL FOR 3000 PAGEVIEWS

i'm a bitch sometimes, but i'm aware of it and i'm trying to get better

i promise

here's to the day, and living it.

shiny lovely pretty things

for teh tank girl goodness
bleargh ]]> ~betenik properly done now http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/8053615/ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/8053615/ Fri, 03 Mar 2006 06:42:26 PST

yes.

Mood:

Proud

:)

so i broke 3000 pageviews and no one noticed... or said hey dudette, well done, or even capped my kiriban.

you all SUCK..and that's what i don't pay you for

now for more suckiness - we have to go sort out the council tax bill WE DON'T FUCKING OWE before they send the bailiffs round. and once that is done i can get my student loan so i can pay off all the bills so that nate can quit uni.

this whole fucking thing is pointless and costly. exactly why did i bother going to uni?

it was the james blunt concert over the last two nights - mmmh. HipAndRad (C)me middle agers, listenin to the whiny indie tosser, all came in after the gig to my bar clutching james blunt mugs. seeing 50odd 40somethings drunk and going on about how HipAndRad James Blunt and their wrinkyl selves are. ugh. when i'm 40, i hope i'm never that "HipAndRad"

but yeah - JamesBluntFan is my new ultimate insult huzzah X _ X

shiny lovely pretty things

for teh tank girl goodness
bleargh ]]> ~betenik -----sik http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/8039498/ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/8039498/ Wed, 01 Mar 2006 17:10:16 PST

yes.

Mood:

Shit Happens

:)
Listening to: DJ VADIM / GILL SCOTT HERON

BLEARGH

i hate winter. and i need a scanner. and i'm dizzy.

catch my 3000 and i will do something nice for you. a pic of your chara or whatever. yeah.

shiny lovely pretty things

for teh tank girl goodness
bleargh ]]> ~betenik Devious Journal Entry http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/8017062/ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/8017062/ Mon, 27 Feb 2006 10:56:22 PST

yes.

Mood:

Shit Happens

:)
Listening to: DJ VADIM / GILL SCOTT HERON

shiny lovely pretty things

for teh tank girl goodness ]]> ~betenik danceh danceh little pumpkin http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/7933278/ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/7933278/ Sat, 18 Feb 2006 10:30:25 PST

yes.

Mood:

Shit Happens

:)
Listening to: DJ VADIM / GILL SCOTT HERON

ow ow ow period pain hurts.

sorry i have been lax on commenting on people's work, but deviant art is buggy for me atm and i can't see people's full pictures, i'm not sure if stuff i am favving is favving etc

hopefully it will be resolved soon and then all will be well.

mmm *notices cup of tea next to her* tea and painkillers and work, oh my.

shiny lovely pretty things ]]> ~betenik +VALENTINE'S DAY- A MEN'S GUIDE+ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/7893503/ http://betenik.deviantart.com/journal/7893503/ Tue, 14 Feb 2006 09:51:06 PST
Mood: Mad

Mad

:)
Listening to: DJ VADIM / GILL SCOTT HERON

1. Firstly guys, if you are one of those men who does sweet fuck all in the way6 of romantic surprises the rest of the year, you deserve castrationj if you are heard to be uttering that Valentine's Day is commercial BS. This excuse will get you an incredibly grumpy girlfriend for at least a week.

2. By 'romantic surprise', we don't necessarily mean that you need to go out and buy diamond jewellery (although this is good if you can afford it). No, us girls would actually be happy with even a handwritten fuckin CARD saying that we mean something to you. A bar of fucking chocolate would do. We may be shallow and materialistic, but GIRLS LIKE GIFTS. We do. And one day out of the whole fucking year to buy flowers is a very, very easy task - why do you men get it so wrong (not all of you, just most of you).

3. If a girl has to pressure you to do something for her on the 14th Feb, that's no good either. You might as well cut off your balls now.

4. Great gift ideas include (from cheap to pricey):
+sweets
+a single lily
+a card
+chocolate
+a pair of cute/saucy knickers
+a set of lingerie
+a car
+a baby unicorn
+being taken out for a nice meal and treated and spoiled like the most amazing woman on earth for a day.

SEE?!?!?! THAT'S THE THING!!!!! if you make us feel special, that'll do. a fuckin balloon that you scrawled "I LOVE YOU [NAME]" on would show you thought enough about it to make a bit of extra effort to show us we mean something to you.

Guys, show this to your male friends, so they don't all get their asses dumped next 14th Feb.

<---women rock, and this is for the girls... ]]> ~betenik