http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:better4where&section=today deviantART RSS for by:better4where en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Sat, 05 Dec 2009 18:40:49 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/13545756/ http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/13545756/ Fri, 29 Jun 2007 23:19:05 PDT
In my wanky self indulgent head i think i can't have fun because i can't relate to people anymore really. not most people anyway. the places i used to go to used to be for want of a better word "alternative" and it wasn't always busy but generally everyone was out for a good time and it wasn't really about who was cool, not nearly so much as it is now. now that indie/rock music is mainstream (which is a good thing obviously for various reasons) aload of trendy wankers seem to be everywhere and i can't relate to songs about having the same jeans on for four days now or wanting to wear those stupid smock dresses that make your butt look big and your tits look tiny. or maybe i'm just old. i know the people and music that i like is out there, but whereas i don't mind trawling ebay for records by a band nobody seems to have heard of is quite appealing, trying to find like minded people is a bit more difficult. this is because i don't really know what my mind is. i think i'm one of those dull people who has gone past the phase of wanting to be drunk out of my head, and now i want to have a nice bottle of wine (not the cheapest one in the shop!) and have arguments about whether vinyl or cds are better.

so what to do instead. well, in fairness. i can't afford to go out really, i'd rather save up for some form of europe road trip that is happening this summer. plus i think getting out of this crazy town for a while is what i need. last week i made the stupid remark that it was now too late to do all the things i wanted to do and get all the things i wanted to get

Things i want to do and have:

My Own House - that i can decorate and keep nice + clean.

A dalmatian - or to be more precise a fleet of dogs led by a dalmatian.

learn how to drive/get a VW campervan and paint it brown and yellow.

Travel to places such as "anywhere but here"

get my degree (this is getting harder everyday)

be able to buy clothes which are not second hand (not that i mind that all my clothes are second hand, i just wish i had the option sometimes)

i can do all this. i just need to get off my arse, stop wasting money on getting drunk and having a shit time, get a job and make some bloody money!i'm hoping that by starting to get myself in gear, i will eventually find my way to gaining everything i want. i'm pretty sure the answer to all my woes is not in this seaside town, and definatly not in the endless cans of cider i've been drinking.

wish me luck

oh also-my camera has died an incident with a cup of tea....however i needed a better one anyway so im saving up and iv got ltos of ideas then i will be uploading on a regular basis

]]> ~better4where http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/11877684/ http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/11877684/ Mon, 19 Feb 2007 06:37:52 PST

THE HIT LIST............................
1. Introduction [link]
2. Love
3. Light [link]
4. Dark
5. Seeking Solace [link]
6. Break Away
7. Heaven [link]
8. Innocence
9. Drive
10. Breathe Again
11. Memory [link]
12. Insanity [link]
13. Misfortune
14. Smile
15. Silence
16. Questioning [link]
17. Blood [link]
18. Rainbow
19. Gray
20. Fortitude
21. Vacation
22. Mother Nature
23. Cat
24. No Time
25. Trouble Lurking
26. Tears
27. Foreign [link]
28. Sorrow [link]
29. Happiness
30. Under the Rain [link]
31. Flowers
32. Night [link]
33. Expectations
34. Stars [link]
35. Hold My Hand
36. Precious Treasure
37. Eyes [link]
38. Abandoned [link]
39. Dreams
40. Rated
41. Teamwork
42. Standing Still
43. Dying
44. Two Roads
45. Illusion [link]
46. Family
47. Creation
48. Childhood [link]
49. Stripes
50. Breaking the Rules
51. Sport
52. Deep in Thought
53. Keeping a Secret
54. Tower
55. Waiting
56. Danger Ahead
57. Sacrifice
58. Kick in the Head
59. No Way Out
60. Rejection
61. Fairy Tale
62. Magic
63. Do Not Disturb
64. Multitasking
65. Horror
66. Traps
67. Playing the Melody
68. Hero
69. Annoyance
70. 67% [link]
71. Obsession
72. Mischief Managed
73. I Can't
74. Are You Challenging Me?
75. Mirror [link]
76. Broken Pieces [link]
77. Test
78. Drink
79. Starvation [link]
80. Words
81. Pen and Paper
82. Can You Hear Me?
83. Heal
84. Out Cold
85. Spiral
86. Seeing Red [link]
87. Food [link]
88. Pain
89. Through the Fire
90. Triangle
91. Drowning
92. All That I Have
93. Give Up
94. Last Hope
95. Advertisement
96. In the Storm
97. Safety First
98. Puzzle
99. Solitude
100. Relaxation

]]> ~better4where http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/10921232/ http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/10921232/ Sat, 02 Dec 2006 05:01:47 PST
hope y'all alright. i cant even remember who any of my DA friends are...

jem x

]]> ~better4where http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/8146933/ http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/8146933/ Mon, 13 Mar 2006 07:49:18 PST
a)never coming on here
b) the fact im about to post about 6 deviations in succesion. enjoy. also check scraops for heaps of bollocks #

]]> ~better4where http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/7534800/ http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/7534800/ Sat, 07 Jan 2006 11:02:45 PST

ps you smell. ]]> ~better4where http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/7445281/ http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/7445281/ Thu, 29 Dec 2005 02:41:55 PST Mood: snotty
Listening to: Audrey - we thought we were ghosts

i have a big snotty cold. euw. how did everyones xmasses go? mine was alright. i got lots of new shoes and yesterday selina bought me some bright green, patent leather ballet pumps. i love my life. soon my accounts expires. just as i have lots of stuff to submit. alas. i may buy a new one. i may not. happy new year in three days.

]]> ~better4where http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/7379444/ http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/7379444/ Thu, 22 Dec 2005 05:26:03 PST Mood: outraged
Listening to: the rakes - terror
Watching: narnia!

fucking DA banned me for 2 weeks because they did a mass IP ban which included me so for my month long subscription i was inactive for half of it. wankers. i was thinking of buying a sub in january but i wont bloody bother now! is there a group for "lost" on this thing? im addicted. kate was meant to be here half an hour ago . thats it im going to the forums!

i will be at the eatathon on saturday! mmmm

]]> ~better4where http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/7272280/ http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/7272280/ Sat, 10 Dec 2005 09:04:37 PST Mood: in pain
Listening to: sleater kinney - i wanna be yr joey ramone
Watching: big fish

i got attacked on thursday. i am now an owner of a fracture to my breastbone and a nice array of cuts accross my forehead and one less than a millimeter away from my eye. the result of somebody throwing a glass in my face and then punching me numerous times. the god thing is the day before i had done an eight hour course in self defence so the person who did wound up in a heap on te floor looking lower than i ever imagined she could ever look. i hurt. that is all.

]]> ~better4where http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/7237585/ http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/7237585/ Tue, 06 Dec 2005 11:31:39 PST Listening to: electrelane - love builds up

i am sad. for not only is my camera not that great, it is now non existent. i cannot find it anywhere and this saddens me greatly. i need a new one before winter is over. clouds, snow, rain and wet leaves. all the cameras atm seem to be half price christmas crapola ones. i might not go digital anymore. analogue baby. people should look at my scraps because it is full of nice little photos and things that arent good enough in my opinion to be uploaded as deviations but a ncie snapshot into my life. today i saw in my local high street. she was not smoking as usual, and ding general non smoker activities.

aside from this. i have been royally screwed by play.com i ordered a CD by one my favourite bands "electrelane" (you must look them up, they are not pop punk garbage nor are they riotgrrl feminist rarara style music although ironically they are on tour with le tigre, the first time i saw them was the first time i met my friend sophy. we spoke online and decided to be weirdos and meet up, go to a gig and get very drunk on pimms, because we're so british. so yes. i like elctrelane) i got a confirmation email "your order consisting of nine items has been sent"..what..NINE? theyve sent me eight other cds i ordered months ago yet never got round to paying for. upsetting. so i have lots of good music coming my way but very little money.

about 7 weeks til me and selina get our house in canterbury

]]> ~better4where http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/7201099/ http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/7201099/ Fri, 02 Dec 2005 06:57:25 PST Mood: happy happy
Listening to: typing and sighing

i feel smart today because i chaired a meeting between myself and other students, i gave everyone work to do, and then i taught someone how to use a computer programme.it was nice to feel important and useful. i decided i would get more involved with student work etc because on wednesday i somehow had a panic attack when i answered a question CORRECTLY. so now im the annoying person who answers every question. and finally after 4 years i finally understood tajfels social identity theory. i did this as part of my A level when i didnt get it, i did it for my Psychology degree and i still didnt get it. and then randomly, sitting doing nursing, we study it for some reason and i get it. go me. ok thats enough smugness.

im going to get a new camera soon so that i can actually take decent photographs of what i want instead of taking photos and going "meah". i have a few ideas. man i so need a huge nikon with every single lens under the sun. oh i must remember....fisheyelens camera. mmmmmm

]]> ~better4where http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/7193016/ http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/7193016/ Thu, 01 Dec 2005 09:19:21 PST Mood: shocked!
Listening to: jimmy eat world - disintergration

wow. somebody bought me a subscription because they knew i was feeling sad. i feel very happy now. there are some lovely people out there, helping me..they dont even know me! im a smiling

]]> ~better4where http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/7139507/ http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/7139507/ Fri, 25 Nov 2005 08:41:03 PST
[link]

which is all the mdels peter the photographer has done shoots with (be aware there are naked shots....of fat people) ]]> ~better4where http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/7114654/ http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/7114654/ Tue, 22 Nov 2005 13:26:09 PST
ah well. i uploaded some things to my scraps again.

im releasing anoter comp in the new year and murtle are recording before xmas. ]]> ~better4where http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/7105109/ http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/7105109/ Mon, 21 Nov 2005 12:32:56 PST I WANT: selina to finish work
I HAVE: tooth ache
I WISH: everyone would leave me alone
I HATE: the bitches of thanet
I MISS: the easy life
I FEAR: lonliness
I HEAR: the hum of a computer. its time to turn some music on.
I SEARCH: for an easy way to get through life
I WONDER: if i will ever be competely happy
I REGRET: throwing that drink
I LOVE: selina coomes
I ACHE: for a big fat ass hug
I ALWAYS: am searching for new music
I AM NOT: pretentious
I DANCE: when I'm excited
I SING: alone
I CRY: alot.
I AM NOT ALWAYS: happy

I WRITE: but i prefer typing
I WIN: me girl
I LOSE: at life
I CONFUSE: friendship with aquaintances
I NEED: se.....lina
I SHOULD: get over myself

x. father thinks I am: ridiculous

x. mother thinks I am: bizarre

x. my boy/girlfriend thinks I am: perfect
x. three things I am often complimented for: my lips, my jokes, my boobs
x. I get embarrassed when: i fart in front of new friends or at work
x. makes me happy: waking up with my selinanana
x. makes me unhappy: bitches,eople who think i am a bitch.

yes or no..
x. you keep a diary: not anymore
x. you like to cook: no.
x. you have a personal secret you have not shared with anyone: im gay.
x. you're in love: yes
x. you set your watch a few minutes ahead: used to. now its fucked.
x. you bite your fingernails: everyday. and my toenails
x. you believe in love: i believe!


What is...?
your most overused phrase on IM: fuck off!
the last image/thought you go to sleep with: mmm hug
your best feature: my incredibly fantastical sense of humour
Inside joke: rarrarrrarrra

Do You...?
take a shower everyday:rarely
think you know you've been in love: i am
want to get married: fuck no. i dont need to validate my relationship! also i cant be bothered...
have any tattoos/where?: lily, scroll, snowflakes
piercings/where?: ears and tongue and conch

get motion sickness: nope
get along with your parent(s): sometimes

like thunderstorms: yep

WHEN YOU SEE THIS NAME YOU THINK OF
Ryan: adams
Rob: my big bear of a friend. i love him.
Drew: drawing
Stephanie: evil steph v good steph

Heather: nova
Aaron: power!
Amy: the girl who made fun of me at my last gig
Will: & Grace
Paul: weird dude
Alex: parks looks like selina.
Dave: drum machine

Justin: Timberlake
Ricky: Martin

Jack: Ellea long time ago

SIGN: a queery arse

NATURAL HAIR COLOR: brown
CURRENT HAIR COLOR: Brown. soon to be red and black. \m/

EYE COLOR: greenyblue
BIRTHPLACE: margate
PARENT(S): chaz n dave
SIBLINGS: nicola
LIVE WITH: selina and milly
FAVORITE RELATIVE: *shrug*


( FAVORITES )
NUMBER: 3
COLOR: Black
DAY: Saturday
MONTH: December
SONG: AFI "Now the World"
FOOD: Chips
EASON: Autumn
SPORT:none
DRINK: Cock..i mean.coke
VEGGIE: peas

( IN THE LAST 24 HOURS, HAVE YOU.... )
CRIED? yes. yesterday
HELPED SOMEONE? i got selina up.
BOUGHT SOMETHING? Audrey EP and "we are soldiers we have guns"
GOTTEN SICK? No
GONE TO THE MOVIES? naw
GONE OUT FOR DINNER? no
SAID "I LOVE YOU"? yis
WRITTEN A REAL LETTER? no
TALKED TO AN EX? haha no
MISSED AN EX? Noo
WRITTEN IN A JOURNAL? obviously
TALKED TO SOMEONE YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON? yis.
HAD A SERIOUS TALK? nope
MISSED SOMEONE? yeah
HUGGED SOMEONE? yeah
FOUGHT WITH YOUR PARENTS? nope
FOUGHT WITH A FRIEND? nope

name 10 bands/artists you listen to:
Audrey
Le Tigre
Sonic youth
the smiths
tori amos
bloc party
prety girls make graves
bratmobile
Hole
Aimee mann

Name 10 things you hate:
bitches
people who think im nasty
being misunderstood
gayness
not being with people i miss
nobody liking me
sticky thibngs
crunchy foods
myspace whores

Would You Ever..
1. Eat a bug? fuck no
2. Bungee jump? noooo
3. Hang glide? NO!
4. Kill someone? id rather die myself
5. Have sex with someone you don't love? No
6. Kiss someone of the same sex? i do every day
7. Have sex with someo... ]]> ~better4where http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/7087446/ http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/7087446/ Sat, 19 Nov 2005 08:59:43 PST
I Love you.
You are perfect.
If I were alone in a room with you , I would watch saved by the bell with you.
I think you should smile
You need me
You will never suffer
You can be my world.
When I think about you , I feel fuzzy.
Someday you will get drunk and dance like a goon with me
You remind me of excellence
Without you im nothing
Memories of you are happymaking
If I were you, I would sleep more
You can be everything
bizarre is how I describe meeting you .
Worst thing about you is you just dont get it
The Best thing about you is puzzlely goodness
You rock my socks
If you were a flavor of ice cream, you would be all of them at once
You are my sunshine
I wish you would come home ]]> ~better4where http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/7086250/ http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/7086250/ Sat, 19 Nov 2005 04:59:31 PST ]]> ~better4where http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/7035974/ http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/7035974/ Sun, 13 Nov 2005 13:05:56 PST
i have 9,000 ish songs on my media played

What do you think of me, WinAmp?
WHITE STRIPES - JUMBLE, JUMBLE
i suppose i am a bit jumbled....

Will I have a happy life?
GRAHAM COXON - FREAKIN' OUT
i dont freak out much. but i suppose when id im happy

What do my friends really think of me?
HEAVEN SHALL BURN - VOICE OF THE VOICELESS
i like this. i like to think this is me.

Do people secretly lust after me?
THE RAKES - TERROR
i guess not then...

How can I make myself happy?
BETH ORTON - FAIL TO BELIEVE
ok this makes no sense

What should I do with my life?
BLUR - PARKLIFE
so that would be sweet fa. sounds good to me.

Why must life be so full of pain?
MADONNA - LOVE DONT LIVE HERE ANYMORE
my life is pretty painless ecept when i get beats

How can I maximize my pleasure during sex?
THE DISTILLERS - DIE ON A ROPE
i am not michaelm hutchence. i repeat. i am not michael hutchence.

Will I ever have children?
SLEATER KINNEY - YOUTH DECAY
maybe. but when they turn into youths they will decay. euw.

Will I die happy?
PLACEBO - TEENAGE ANGST
i suppose not then!

Can you give me some advice?
THE SMITHS - WILLIAM,IT WAS REALLY NOTHING
okay this makes no sense

Do you know where your children are?
FUGAZI - EPIC PROBLEM
thats pretty mcuh what it would be if i had children to be anwhere

What do you think happiness is?
L7 - THE BOMB
yeah bombs = happiness

What's your favourite fetish?
THE MAGIC NUMBERS - WHICH WAY TO HAPPY?
mmm lack of sense.

Ok, it's time for my personal questions:

How will I die?
KATY ROSE - CATCH MY FALL
i have visions of naomi jumping off invicta house and me catching her and being slammed into the ground

How can I be famous?
VERUCA SALT - IMPERFECTLY
its the only way i could do anything

What do you think of drag queens? (sorry, I must to ask)
THE SMASHING PUMPKINS - TONIGHT, TONIGHT
seems like im gonna see some tonight...

Should I do more art?
HOLE -AWFUL
says it all really


And now 20 interesting (?) facts about me.
1. i am 5ft7. i grew!
2. i used to be a dog person. but now i prefer cats
3. I like beer
4. I'm a cunt mostly. but people still like me
5. I pretend to be a good person. but im too lazy to be
6. I keep giving up smoking for a week at a time
7. I love christmas and tinsle
8. I spent the longest relationship fo my life getting over someone else and at the end i still wasnt
9. my best friend is selina
10. I have saved by the bell series 1-4 on dvd fuckers!
11. my favourite drink is water
12. music is my life
13. I always check out my rack in shop windows
14. I pretty much cant be arsed with life
15. i enjoy dancing like a kid and waving my arms about
16. reading festival is the best weekend of my year
17. I hate crunchy food
18. i touched kathleen hannahs ass and she had a go at me. i rock.
19. Im mentioned on the le tigre website
20. i want cake ]]> ~better4where http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/7033325/ http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/7033325/ Sun, 13 Nov 2005 07:01:33 PST
im in the sky when im on the floor
the worlds a mess and your my only cure
theres no time for me to act mature
only words i know are more, more and more

no-one to criticise me then
no-one to criticise
no-one to criticise me then
no-one to criticise

theres no fear when im in my room
its so clear and i know what just i want to do
all day bedroom dancing
to you, i wanna say; your my thing

you, teach me
you, teach me
you, teach me
you, teach me

come on and teach me wisely. come and show me why.

i got beat the shit out of the other day for defending selina. my jaw is dislocated which sucks for eating and yelling and yawning ( my three favourite things ) i am bruised but i am not broken. im not sorry that i defended selina either because i would get beaten the shit out of for any of my mates and selina is definatly my best friend. also helps that i managed ti whack the girl who beat me up a good few times, enough so thats she was bleeding. ]]> ~better4where http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/6960138/ http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/6960138/ Sat, 05 Nov 2005 07:20:10 PST ~better4where http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/6864943/ http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/6864943/ Tue, 25 Oct 2005 14:23:26 PDT
does anyone read these journals? is everyone dead?your all bums thats for sure

xxx ]]> ~better4where http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/6844045/ http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/6844045/ Sun, 23 Oct 2005 09:52:05 PDT
- a box of matches with no matches in it (we might need it)
- waterproof matches x 20 (for lighting a fire in the rain)
- 2 empty mcflurry pots (we might want to put things in them)
- a mobile phone holder that is too big for any phones made in the past three years (they might start making phones bigger again)
- broken blank video cassettes from the eighties (we might want to record something off the tv...onto a broken video)
- an empty pot of varnish that was unable to be opened (even she couldnt think of a reason why shed had it for years)

following this palava. she tore apart a huge piece of artwork because there was nowhere to put it (its about 2ft taller than me) then she kept the pieces (in case she needs them later)

Never. Again ]]> ~better4where http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/6834498/ http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/6834498/ Sat, 22 Oct 2005 07:23:44 PDT
went to london the other week and to brick lane for some fashionista spotting, clothes shopping and band mocking. everyone got in a fight (everyone that cared at least) about a pop art mural type thing we saw and whether it was a litchenstein (sp?) or not. meanwhile me and merrill got outraged in costa coffee because they took ten minutes to make one cappucino that turned out to be cold, merrill paid £1.20 for a can of coke and sophy got water that tasted like a kid had mixed sherbert into it. i hate coffee places. we went shopping to buy clothes which are too devilishly handsome not to have photographs taken of us prancing about weaing them with giant sunglasses and bright red lipstick. i purchased a dress that resembles a dressing gown, which i wore last night and all the bitches in wetherspoons mocked, sophy bought an old mans jumper that is brown and has a picture of a mexican man on a gondola on the front (obviously, the classic choice for jumper art) aswell as a array of neckties and sparkly buttons

naomia. if you wish to come to ikea call me before sunday night as there is room in the car and i know you love cheap furniture and swedish cakes. kates driving so its freeeeee.

er yeah. uploads ahoy! ]]> ~better4where http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/6827667/ http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/6827667/ Fri, 21 Oct 2005 12:29:39 PDT
we're going to ikea on monday to buy chairs and beds and rugs and swedish meatballs. me and selina are moving in together in febuary which shall be lovely and nice. she calls it our loveshack i call it my headquarters where i can plan all my evil deeds. not that i do nasty things.

i have been a bum for the past few months and hated people all over again. i like everyone now. i want to give hugs and eat those rumball truffles once more.

i am at rowans flat and everyone is reading what im typing. nosey bastards... i shall go and drink some more vodka.

so many memories. i also have poems to submit which arent so ridden with teenage angsty bullshit. i will submit them...one day. ]]> ~better4where http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/6030984/ http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/6030984/ Mon, 25 Jul 2005 14:01:54 PDT
Have you ever had someone from your past suddenly appear?: no.its more like, im gonna ignore you for 6 months. then email you to say sorry. then ignore you for another year or so.

Have you ever felt like the whole world was right?: hahaha. no. never

Have you ever seen true beauty?: selinas beautiful, but for all i know she could have had a facejob so il never know ifs true

Have you ever felt that someone was more beautiful because of their flaws?: no. because a flaw...IS A FLAW. or possibly a floor.

Have you ever cried because you felt good?:no

Have you ever walked along when it’s cold outside and you have a fever?: yeah i had to on sunday to get cold remedies. the irony.

Have you ever wondered if the universe was sitting on someone’s fingernail?: no, because the universe isnt.

Have you ever seen the sky at night when the clouds look like flowers?: I fear for the eyes of whoever wrote this.

Have you ever had somebody care?: care about what?in general, im sure i have. about me, im sure i have. about killing me? definatly.

Have you ever wanted something but when you got it found out it wasn’t what you needed?: is this like when you buy a coat in the sale and realize its august?.

Have you ever tried to make things right, only to realize they work out if you let them be?: no. trying is wrong.

Have you ever seen a grown man cry?: yeah.

Have you ever seen an amazing lightning and thunder storm like they have in the Midwest?: midwest?isnt that a bank?!?

Have you ever needed to be held?: as a baby im sure.

Have you ever needed to cuddle?: i dont need it. but demand it anyway.

Have you ever made something you thought was great but no one else liked it?: every song 26xsfaster, kinkorama or the hat ever wrote and performed.

Have you ever made something that you thought was terrible that everyone else loved?: yeah, kim wildes favourite hat

Have you ever been alone? er...yeah

Have you ever splashed in puddles?: heh heh heh yes

Have you ever been really sick?: yes. im 20. and what a life iv lived. iv been alone and iv been sick

Have you ever made a snowman in your front yard?: no, my nans back GARDEN and jacks front GARDEN

Have you ever known what it was like to love and be loved in return?: yeah. its gay.

Have you ever had a crush?: yes

Have you ever had a kiss?: yes

Have you ever known how good something was?: i know how good i am

Have you ever not known how good it was until it’s gone?: mini kievs.i miss you so.

Have you ever tried to write poetry but ended up throwing it away?: yes

Have you ever found it later and laughed at yourself?: not laughed, more...went red and burst into tears.

Have you ever held the power?:held it? pfft. i AM the power.

Have you ever felt like you knew something was right?: yes, like the answers to these questions

Have you ever seen something terribly sad happen right before your eyes?: i saw a man get run over, but it was comical more than anything.watching people break up is sad. no wait, thats funny also.

Have you ever experienced true happiness?: yes. my soul got taken away and i turned evil. no..wait...im not in an episode of buffy

Have you ever given a love letter?: i wrote one to kim and she showed everyone. homo!i write songs now.

Have you ever tried to make someone feel better, just because you saw they were down?:when rowan was upset a while ago, we went round with two ashtrays and a jug full of stolen flowers. she seemd happier.

Have you ever wanted a kiss?: yeah

Have you ever needed a hug?: when im emo/drunk

Have you ever wanted to just do things on impulse?: all the time

Have you ever wanted to paint a picture?: yes

Have you ever wanted to just run?:yeah, but im overweight and not that healthy so it wouldnt work.

Have you ever needed to get away?: of course.

Have you ever tried?: me?try? hahaha

Have you ever wanted to be a kid again?: age wont stop me

Have you ever blew big bubbles with pink gum? no thats illegal in margate

Have you ever lost a love?: it always seems like i am at the time. but really i gained knowledge. the knowledge i am excellent.

Have you ever experienced puppy love?: no. beastility is wrong.

Have you ever experienced love at first sight?: no

Have you ever tried to tell someone something but the words wouldn’t come out?: yes.

Have you ever wanted to die?: only every day. not kill... ]]> ~better4where http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/5938461/ http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/5938461/ Fri, 15 Jul 2005 01:13:18 PDT
DESCRIBE:

MY HERITAGE: i was carved from stone and bought to life by some magicians
MY SHOES I WEAR NOW: none
MY EYES: blue
MY FEARS: soberity
A THING ID LIKE TO ACHIEVE: anything other than eating til i puke at the "all you can eat" is a bonus

MY FUTURE:

AGE I HOPE TO BE MARRIED: i dont want to get married. marriage is for chumps with too much money
NAMES OF CHILDREN: mr rusty and lady pantaloons
MY DREAM WEDDING: non existent
WHEN YOU GROW UP?: il never grow up
THE COUNTRY I WOULD LIKE TO LIVE INN?: dont really give a fuck

OPPOSITE/SAME SEX:

BEST EYE COLOR: i really dont care
BEST HAIR COLOR: see above re:dont care
BEST HEIGHT: really dont think about it that much
BEST WEIGHT: any
BEST FIRST DATE LOCATION: dates are lame. but if we have to go, then we better go somewhere i can eat and then drink too much and fall off my chair
BEST FIRST KISS LOCATION: on the lips.

DO I:

SMOKE: yeah.
HAVE A CRUSH(ES): yes
WHO ARE THEY: selina
THINK I’ll BEEN IN LOVE? : the lack of sense that sentence made is outstanding.
WANT TO GO TO COLLEGE: no
LIKE HIGH SCHOOL: i liked the free periods
WANT TO GET MARRIED: no
THINK YOU'RE ATTRACTIVE: not exceedingly so but kids dont cry when they see me (anymore)
GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS: have too
PLAY AN INSTRUMENT: yes. i play a sampler and drums

IN THE PAST MONTH DID :/: HAVE YOU

DRANK ALCOHOL: in excess
HAVE SEX: no
BEEN DUMPED: nobody would dump the jem
MADE HOMEMADE COOKIES: no. but now i want one
BEEN IN LOVE: in the past month?
STOLEN ANYTHING: yes. many road signs and menus. a stethescope for selina and some other crap

FRIENDS AND LIFE

DO I EVER WISH I HAD ANOTHER NAME? : dave
DO I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND/BOYFRIEND?: i have a girlfriend. shes well gay.
DO YOU LIKE ANYONE?: i like everyone
WHICH ONE OF MY FRIENDS ACTS THE MOST LIKE ME?: kate. she only buys beer and fags in bulk
WHO HAVE I KNOWN THE LONGEST OF YOUR FRIENDS? :
clarence of chathamania
AM I CLOSE TO ANY FAMILY MEMBER?: no. they all suck.
WHO DO I HANG AROUND THE MOST?: kate, selina and merrill
WHEN HAVE I CRIED THE MOST: a baby
WHAT'S THE BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD?: being the best in the world!at everything!
WORST FEELING?: when off licenses close...
CURRENT DOIN NOW? filling in a form and talking music with selina

MOOD:hungover and tired
MUSIC: le tigre - dyke march 2001
TASTE: juice
SMELL: cold
THING I AM TO BE DOING: filling in an online survey fucker
DESKTOP PICTURE: kim wildes favourite hat
BOOK: the jem chronicles, a series of books about the life and times of jem
JOB: yea sure why not

RIGHT NOW

WEARING: floral pyjamas
DRINKING: nothing
THINKING ABOUT: if im going to make it through the day

IN THE LAST 24 HRS

CRIED: no
WORN JEANS: last night
MET SOMEONE NEW ONLINE: no
DROVE A CAR: no

LAST+ (THANK GOD)...............done

BOOK I READ: "how to be more like jem - a book for everyone who isnt jem"
MOVIE I SAW: 28 days later
THING I HAD TO DRINK: juice god damn it
TIME I SHOWERED: last night
PERSON I TALKED TO ON THE PHONE: merrill, shed been thrown out a tube station cos of a bombscare abnd couldnt be arsed to walk to work ]]> ~better4where http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/4570803/ http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/4570803/ Sun, 13 Feb 2005 15:04:37 PST
the past month has been strange. alot of weird stuff happened. but anyway. project battpoke is up and running. me matt nath and somebody else who i forget on bass. we do mostly bowie covers, suffragette city and queen bitch atm. matt is trying to learn oh you pretty things, ut apparently its being a gay (the song that is). matt is also on a crusade to teach me guitar.

i seem to be having more fights than usual lately. namely with some cunt who shall remain nameless who keeps slagging off mark pearce and yelling at him. i threw my coke on her and she got thrown out of the lido. bonus!

friday we went to steves and he trashed his room as usual. majorly though (think, doors being ripped off and thrown down the stairs) id love to have seen dans face on his return from the lido.

tomorrow is my day off, also valentines day. i plan to celebrate by going shopping in the buff.

farewell ]]> ~better4where http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/4212195/ http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/4212195/ Sat, 01 Jan 2005 13:00:37 PST ~better4where http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/4047223/ http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/4047223/ Sun, 12 Dec 2004 03:57:27 PST ~better4where http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/3910350/ http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/3910350/ Wed, 24 Nov 2004 15:53:55 PST -If you could have sex in any place in the world, where would it be?
You mean a place I havent done it yet? LOL umm how about an elevator in a skyscraper, the one in my apts dont count but I didnt actually have sex it there
-What’s the strangest accessory you have ever used as a masturbation tool? You know never really use tools
-What’s your strangest fetish? This has to be something "normal" people freak out over. Hmm I'll have to get back to you on that one but why would I tell you to use it against me? lol
-What’s the largest thing you ever put up your ass for money? I havent had that opportunity lol
-If you were getting gang banged, how many would it take for you to finally not be able to "take" anymore? lol well are we talking like everyone in at once? cuz then Im guessing 2 at most, on a good day lol
-If I offered you a million dollars for having sex with either Michael Jackson (not old normal Michael...the now freako Michael) or Gary Coleman, whom would you choose? Gary coleman is cute! it's probably his size right? I couldnt do michael sorry, I'm wondering if his nose will fall off all I need to find out is Surprise he had something else replaced too! lol
-You get caught masturbating do you, stop and clean up in embarrassment or do you continue until your done?
or....does the intrusion: a. turn you on more? or b. keep you from finishing? Hell depends on who catches me *generally* the guy who would walk in on me doing that would finish me off lol
-If you slept with Charlize Theron, when you looked like she did in Monster, would you still brag about it? honestly, if I said "oh yeah btw I slept with a girl" to my bf he'd just be like "so um, where are the pictures and why the HELL didnt you call me??" Dont think looks really matter on that part but as long as she smelled good (you know where ) it's fine by me! haha
-Just how gay are you? I like girls. Mostly guys but I like girls too...so let's say 75/25?
-If you had to let someone else choose, who would do the choosing for you? choose what? how gay I was?
-If you could go back in time and screw one person from high school whom would it be and why? You know HS wasnt that long ago...and the only person coming to mind I didnt get would be Kevin...I'll talk to him about that someday oh and why? CUZ HE'S FUCKING HOT!!
-If you could go back in time and NOT screw someone in high school, who and why? that'd be #1, overly cocky drama queen...how the hell did that last 4 yrs???
-What is your chosen method of masturbation...
a. in a hurry?
b. not in a hurry?
c. at work? Well dont have a job lol so I guess it doesnt really matter
-What’s the most sexual thing you have done to get a mod? Never done anything sexual to get a mod lol no wait I take that back I sleep with myself sometimes to get a piercing j/k
-What’s the worst thing to ever happen to you or a friend during sex? LOL me saying "damnit dude you done yet? I'm bored and you're distracting me from this movie thats more interesting than you" some reason he didnt take that offensively either, then again that guy knows I have a thing for fast cars and angelina jolie lol


-animal

-If you lost a bet and had to have "sexual relations" with an animal, which animal would you choose? umm...a dog? I dont know lol
- If you turned into a monkey, but retained your human intelligence. Would you have sex with other monkeys? Hell yeah but as a monkey with human intelligence, I'd just be rating them
-If you were to put a rodent up your ass...would you prefer a gerbil or a guinea pig? I'd still like to know the reasoning for this...


[B]Death and Destruction

-You are on an airplane and death is inevitable. You stand up and exclaim something secret you have kept to yourself your whole life. What is it? I guess you'll find out when we're on that plane now huh?
-If you could kill someone and get away with it absolutely scot free, who would it be and would you be able to do it with your bare hands? This guy I know mike lol but there's so many people who want to kill him
-Which would you rather throw in the river, a bag of puppies, or a bag of kittens? i'm still mad about my puppy so sorry kittys gotta go
-You have the opportunity to run one over who do you choose Bush or Bin Laden? BUSH!!!
-If you had to kill one person in your immediate family so the rest would survive whom would it be and why? Hmmm...can we could child's fathers in this? lol


Broken Boundaries & Moral Dilemmas

-What’s the grossest thing you would ever put in your mouth, and how much money would someone have to pay you to do it? I dont know...my friends are the ones who eat t... ]]> ~better4where http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/3741048/ http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/3741048/ Fri, 05 Nov 2004 07:37:31 PST
MY HERITAGE: im sure i originally came from one of the nordic countries, dont most of us come from vikings?
MY SHOES I WEAR NOW: im not wearing any at the moment
MY EYES: blue
MY FEARS: soberity, loneliness
A THING I LIKE TO ACHIEVE: anything

MY FUTURE:

AGE I HOPE TO BE MARRIED: 26+
NAMES OF CHILDREN: wonder woman and batman
MY DREAM WEDDING: to someone cool
WHEN YOU GROW UP?: il never grow up
THE COUNTRY I WOULD LIKE TO LIVE INN?: sweden

OPPOSITE/SAME SEX:

BEST EYE COLOR: i really dont care
BEST HAIR COLOR: see above re:dont care
BEST HEIGHT: taller than me is cool but whatever
BEST WEIGHT: any
BEST FIRST DATE LOCATION: pub
BEST FIRST KISS LOCATION: on the lips. anywhere else is a bit presumtious...

DO I:

SMOKE: yeah.
HAVE A CRUSH(ES): YES
WHO ARE THEY: some guy, that bloke
THINK I’ll BEEN IN LOVE? : nein
WANT TO GO TO COLLEGE: no
LIKE HIGH SCHOOL: yes.being mocked daily.oh what fun
WANT TO GET MARRIED: one day
THINK YOU'RE ATTRACTIVE: i'l do
GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS: have too
PLAY AN INSTRUMENT: right now, not so much.

IN THE PAST MONTH DID :/: HAVE YOU

DRANK ALCOHOL: in excess
HAVE SEX: i think so. yes.
BEEN DUMPED: im not sure.
MADE HOMEMADE COOKIES: yeah. at canterbury house
BEEN IN LOVE: in the past month?
STOLEN ANYTHING: yes. many road signs and menus.

FRIENDS AND LIFE

DO I EVER WISH I HAD ANOTHER NAME? : yeah. i think id make a cool trevor
DO I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND/BOYFRIEND?: nope.
DO YOU LIKE ANYONE?: some people
WHICH ONE OF MY FRIENDS ACTS THE MOST LIKE ME?: matt. except i dont collect guitars excessivly
WHO HAVE I KNOWN THE LONGEST OF YOUR FRIENDS? :
the claire
AM I CLOSE TO ANY FAMILY MEMBER?: no. they all suck.
WHO DO I HANG AROUND THE MOST?: matt and kate
WHEN HAVE I CRIED THE MOST: a baby
WHAT'S THE BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD?: er...happiness?
WORST FEELING?: ...saddness?

CURRENT DOIN NOW

MOOD: irritated as always
MUSIC: veruca salt - stoneface. on full blast to shut my sister up
TASTE: water
SMELL: cold
THING I AM TO BE DOING: filling in an online survey fucker
DESKTOP PICTURE: sonic youth
BOOK: the jem chronicles
JOB: yea sure why not

RIGHT NOW

WEARING: denim skirt, paisley top
DRINKING: water
THINKING ABOUT: how trashed im gonna get tonight

IN THE LAST 24 HRS

CRIED: no
WORN JEANS: dont own jeans
MET SOMEONE NEW ONLINE: no
DROVE A CAR: no

LAST+ (THANK GOD)...............done

BOOK I READ: fuck you
MOVIE I SAW: romy and michelles high school reunion. craptastic
THING I HAD TO DRINK: water god damn it
TIME I SHOWERED: this morning
PERSON I TALKED TO ON THE PHONE: matt about pubs ]]> ~better4where http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/3695006/ http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/3695006/ Thu, 28 Oct 2004 14:41:12 PDT [Birthday] Jan 24th
[Weight] 7st, clearly.
[Astrological sign?] aquarius
[Chinese zodiac sign?] rat i think possibly ox
[Location] Kent, land of gays
[Eye color] blue
[Height] 5'6
[Shoe size] 9. im a man MAN
[Parents still together?] yep
[Siblings?] younger sister
[Nieces/Nephews?] no. thank fuck
[Kids of your own?] fuck no
[Grandkids?] see above
[Pets?] a dog, but hes not really mine.
[Education?] university
[Rent, lease, or own your home?] dont even ask. it changes fortnightly
[What do you drive?] the legsojem

Favorites
[ Colour] brown
[ Number ] 2
[ Animal ] pandas
[ Vehicle ] Monster trucks
[ Flower ] lilies
[ Scent ] man smell
[ Shape ] star
[ Book ] Never Ending story. what a jip, its a fucking lie.

Do you...
[ Color your hair? ] yeah, im going blonde soon
[ Twirl your hair? ] what?
[ Have tattoos? ] yeah, two. might get another tomorrow.
[ Piercing? ] ten
[ Cheat on tests/homework? ] yep
[ Like roller coasters? ] i dont hate them
[ Wish you could live somewhere else] anywhere else
[ Want more piercing? ] yeah why not
[ Like cleaning? ] uh, no?
[Write in cursive or print? ] print
[ Carry a donor card? ] yes. three.
[ Swear a lot? ] fuck no
[ Own a web cam? ] yes
[ Know how to drive? ] no
[ Diet? ] hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha haaha
[ Own a cell phone? ] Yeah
[ Ever get off the damn computer? ] yeah
[ Habla Espanol? ] si

Have you ever...
[ Gotten a speeding ticket?] nope
[ DUI? ] huh?
[ Been in a wreck? ] nope!
[ Been arrested? ] ummm not really
[ Been in a fist fight? ] yeah.
[ Kicked someone in the nuts? ] yeah, id love to do it to some more people
[ Held a gun? ] nope
[ Drank? ] i dont poison my body
[ Been so drunk you couldn't remember your name?] possibly, i know ive been so drunk i fell over on carpet and told everyone i had fallen down the stairs
[Considered a life of crime? ] everyday
[ Considered being a hooker? ] if only
[ Cried over a girl? ] yes
[ Cried over a boy? ] yes
[ Lied to someone? ] yeah. thats what families are for, no?
[ Been in love? ] no
[ Used someone? ] yes
[ Been used? ] yes
[ Been kissed? ] yeah. woah like crazy


Now
[Current mood] craptastic as always
[Current music] hole
[Current taste] mint
[Current hair] a mess
[Current annoyance] jack being supercunt
[Current smell] I carnt smell anything
[Current windows open?] DA, kazaa,msn,word
[Current desktop picture] kim wilde \m/
[Current book] i dont read
[Current cds in stereo] my stereo is in canterbury and im not, so i dunno
[Current hate] how fucking gay is jack?
[Last movie you saw] Shaun of the dead
[Last thing you had to drink] water
[Last thing you ate] a mint puffin
[Last person you talked to on the phone] kate
[Do drugs?] No.....
[Have a dream that keeps coming back?] Yeah
[Play an instrument?] not anymore
[Believe there is life on other planets?] yeah why not
[Remember your first love?} puh.
[Still love him/her?] dont even get me started
[Read the newspaper?] i read "dear deirdre"
[Have any gay or lesbian friends?] Yep loads
[Believe in miracles?] miraculous amounts of shit yes
[Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever?] not for jack clearly.
[Consider yourself tolerant of others?] no. why the fuck should i be?
[Do well in school?] yeah
[Go to or plan to go to college] college is for homos
[Wear hats?] i am lord of the hats
[Hate yourself?] no, i ahve a whole army of people to do that
[Have an obsession?] not that im aware of but probably

[Collect anything?] problems
[Have a best friend?] i have a few
[Like your handwriting?] dont write that much thereforedont care
[Care about looks?] yes, everyone does

[Do you believe in love at first sight?] no. love is wank.
[Do you believe in "the one?"] well, he was in the matrix, so yes ]]> ~better4where http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/3654790/ http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/3654790/ Sat, 23 Oct 2004 09:59:28 PDT
seriously. ]]> ~better4where http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/3602590/ http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/3602590/ Sat, 16 Oct 2004 10:21:22 PDT
i broke up with jack three weeks ago and he didnt get it all. he was still asking me to go out with him, and what he would do for me for our anniversary.

i told him i would definatly think about getting back together with him (a lie, but how was he to know) elsewhere after months of jack accusing me of fancying matt, i started fancying matt. and told him, and he told me he could see us having le sex before xmas. i felt guilty because jack had been paranoid about me and matt for so long.

elsewhere, jack had a secret friendship with a girl named emma. they would text and email and i wasnt allowed to meet her. yeah, i was paranoid./ but foolishly belived jack was too idiotically in love with me to do anything. i also never responded to matts come ons because i thought it was a bit tacky and disrespectful.

then. last night i went to wetherspoons with rob and russell. and jack was eating emmas face. nice.

i pretended not to notice and asked him if he had kissed anyone last night, and he went "yeah, just emma, it was a birthday thing"

he has thus far been lucky in that we have only spoken on the phone. however im going to his with colin (and his weaponary of choice) to get my money, yell at him, probably hit him and scream in his face, then burst into tears, then get outragously drunk. then i plan to never feel guilty about matt stuff again.

im not upset about it. just outraged. fucking jack. what a wanker. he told me that he knew i would turn everyone against him, merrill picked up the phone and screamed NEWSFLASH!NOBODY LIKES YOU ANYWAY!

heh heh heh ]]> ~better4where http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/3597934/ http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/3597934/ Fri, 15 Oct 2004 17:01:29 PDT ~better4where http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/3525000/ http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/3525000/ Wed, 06 Oct 2004 08:11:21 PDT ~better4where http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/3500514/ http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/3500514/ Sun, 03 Oct 2004 06:05:20 PDT i smoke too much

yeah yeah and your drop dead gorgous ]]> ~better4where http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/3496892/ http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/3496892/ Sat, 02 Oct 2004 17:00:39 PDT
so i fancy curly matt. could i be in more of a self destructive mode?

hi, i think il fancy people i live with just to make life more complicated. fucks sake. stupid head. ]]> ~better4where http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/3448372/ http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/3448372/ Sun, 26 Sep 2004 04:23:25 PDT
just gonna add a prose. joy. have to move our house, boiler broke, kitchen ceiling fell down and the house needs rewiring. oh and theres a ghost in our hallway.

captain jem.x ]]> ~better4where http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/3282422/ http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/3282422/ Sat, 04 Sep 2004 01:36:54 PDT
Have you ever had someone from your past suddenly appear?: no.its more like, im gonna ignore you for 6 months. then email you to say sorry. then ignore you for another year or so.

Have you ever felt like the whole world was right?: no, because im not stupid

Have you ever seen true beauty?: every morning in the mirror baby

Have you ever felt that someone was more beautiful because of their flaws?: no. because a flaw...IS A FLAW. or possibly a floor.

Have you ever cried because you felt good?:no

Have you ever walked along when it’s cold outside and you have a fever?: yes. msome of us have things to do you know.

Have you ever wondered if the universe was sitting on someone’s fingernail?: no, because the universe isnt.

Have you ever seen the sky at night when the clouds look like flowers?: I fear for the eyes of whoever wrote this.

Have you ever had somebody care?: care about what?

Have you ever wanted something but when you got it found out it wasn’t what you needed?: everyday, its called...i like stuff.

Have you ever tried to make things right, only to realize they work out if you let them be?: i dont TRY

Have you ever seen a grown man cry?: yeah. tg mike sobbed in my arms like a baby for a few hours and then told me he loved me. keep it a secret.

Have you ever seen an amazing lightning and thunder storm like they have in the Midwest?: midwest?isnt that a bank?

Have you ever needed to be held?: as a baby yeah, or i would just roll around being gay

Have you ever needed to cuddle?: at times.

Have you ever made something you thought was great but no one else liked it?: every song 26xsfaster, kinkorama or the hat ever wrote and performed.

Have you ever made something that you thought was terrible that everyone else loved?: yeah, kim wildes favourite hat

Have you ever been alone? er...yeah

Have you ever splashed in puddles?: heh heh heh yes

Have you ever been really sick?: yes. im 19 for fucks sake. these questions arent daring are they.

Have you ever made a snowman in your front yard?: no, my nans back GARDEN and jacks front GARDEN

Have you ever known what it was like to love and be loved in return?: yeah. its gay.

Have you ever had a crush?: many

Have you ever had a kiss?: only like a thousand.

Have you ever known how good something was?: what the hell?yes?

Have you ever not known how good it was until it’s gone?: mini kievs.i miss you so.

Have you ever tried to write poetry but ended up throwing it away?: yes

Have you ever found it later and laughed at yourself?: not laughed, more...went red and burst into tears.

Have you ever held the power?:I HAVE THE POWER

Have you ever felt like you knew something was right?: yes, like the answers to these questions

Have you ever seen something terribly sad happen right before your eyes?: i saw a man get run over, but it was comical more than anything.

Have you ever experienced true happiness?: yes

Have you ever given a love letter?: yes, and the bitch showed it to all and sundry.

Have you ever tried to make someone feel better, just because you saw they were down?: try being the operative word here

Have you ever wanted a kiss?: dunno. maybe.

Have you ever needed a hug?: I hav already answered this one

Have you ever wanted to just do things on impulse?: all the time

Have you ever wanted to paint a picture?: yes

Have you ever wanted to just run?:yeah, but im overweight and not that healthy so it wouldnt work.

Have you ever needed to get away?: of course.

Have you ever tried?: yeah, and everyone who fucked me over was like...er, dont do that. rarara.

Have you ever wanted to be a kid again?: at times. just for lack of caring about money

Have you ever blew big bubbles with pink gum?robabaly

Have you ever lost a love?: i thought i did, but really i just lost shit.

Have you ever experienced puppy love?: no

Have you ever experienced love at first sight?: no

Have you ever tried to tell someone something but the words wouldn’t come out?: no

Have you ever wanted to die?: only every day. not kill myself, just cant be arsed to live.

Have you ever tried?: no

Have you ever written a letter to... ]]> ~better4where http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/3154273/ http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/3154273/ Wed, 18 Aug 2004 09:22:01 PDT ~better4where http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/3138073/ http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/3138073/ Mon, 16 Aug 2004 10:06:28 PDT

gig on saturday. we are doing many 80's covers, including kids in america and i touch myself.i have bene informed we are the ONLY band that are playing, which is frankly tragic for everyone else. afterwards we are going down the lido sands to get wasted beyond repair. since its my weekend off. full time work is a pain in the ass.

am gonna submit the lyrics to all our songs, so yopu can print em out and sing along. heh heh. ]]> ~better4where http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/3073183/ http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/3073183/ Sun, 08 Aug 2004 10:14:46 PDT
you'd think id be worried but i cudnt be less worried if i tried. theres nothing i can do but give them what i have and thats the end of it pretty much ]]> ~better4where http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/3065773/ http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/3065773/ Sat, 07 Aug 2004 11:39:10 PDT ~better4where http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/3033131/ http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/3033131/ Tue, 03 Aug 2004 08:33:04 PDT
fridays set will be

trio/amber and amanda
kim wildes favourite hats
things i might like to buy and things i already own
i want a man from candy sniper (an extended version of the coolest man)
the trendy thing to do

also we'll be doing a cover of either kids in america or true colours by cyndi lauper.

be there or be somewhat cubic in shape. it's gonna be trashtastic. ]]> ~better4where http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/2962367/ http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/2962367/ Sun, 25 Jul 2004 06:34:11 PDT
my kids will think whatever they like about my tattoos, if i have any that is (kids, not tattoos). if i have children i shall educate them that people can do whatever they like, as long as you dont ruin other peoples lives. i will also educate my children that tattoos are not just for criminals and sea merchants (as ive been told). i will also point out to my kids, the many fantastic people i nknow that have tattoos - myself,my dad, naomi, merrill, jay, skye,becci to name but a few. none of whom are sea merchants (although naomi does have two glass eyes)

its fucking hard to get a job anyway.and if i regret it- its gonna be too fucking late.

a phase? yes, something that is going to be on me for the rest of my life is just a phase. because im THAT short sighted. jack then went on to say he might get his tattoo that day. HYPOCRIT!

and so i have (finally) decided that since jack dosent own me or my body. i wont be asking for his opinion on any future work i may or may not get. instead i will tell him what i am getting done, where and when and if he wants to come he came.

jack also stands by the claim he will dump me if i stretch to 8mm. jack is an idiot. i am one of the least modified people i know and i still get shit everyday for it.

ah well. take care people. xxx

ps: im getting a skull and crossbones piece with a bunch of stars and crap.on sat 7th august. naomi, you are welcome to join. and maybe we can batman tatt you. ]]> ~better4where http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/2878280/ http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/2878280/ Wed, 14 Jul 2004 06:52:17 PDT B - Boyfriend - thats what they call him
C - Chore you hate - all chores suck.thus they are chores
D - Dad's name - phil
E - Essential make-up item - nuttin but a smile
F - Favorite actor - kathy burke
G - Gold or silver - titanium
H - Hometown - margate
I - Instruments you play - les drums. not well mind.
- Job title - unemployed, layabout
K - Kids - are all little fucks
L - Living arrangements - with two nutjobs
M - Mom's name - chris
N - Number of people you've slept with - 2, oh to be young again
O - Overnight hospital stays - had a few
P - Phobia - stickers, bugs, dark, being alone, crunchy food
Q - Quote you like - "man..jem is so great" naomi -2004
R - Religious affiliation - excellence
S - Siblings - uno
T - Time you wake up? - bout 9
U - Unique habit - being more excellent than a big excellent thing
V - Vegetable you refuse to eat - tomato
W - Worst habit - making others feel inferior due to my exellence
X - X-rays you've had - head, neck, shoulder, feet, hands, arms, yawn
Y - Yummy food you make - all food is yummy you hethen
Z - Zodiac Sign - "the jemario" ]]> ~better4where http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/2807122/ http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/2807122/ Mon, 05 Jul 2004 05:42:29 PDT
currently eating cheese and tomato sandwich. thinking of watching big brother. my life is so intensly dull. ]]> ~better4where http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/2725091/ http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/2725091/ Wed, 23 Jun 2004 07:54:20 PDT
well i am currently unemployed, having left my job at mcdonalds. not much love lost there. should nbe getting a job as a trainee claims handler (insurance person)

took out all my facial piercings, for purposes of getting a job. sucks indeed. am in process of getting funding to start my own business (top secret!)

anyway, i will start submitting stuff now. ]]> ~better4where http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/2034964/ http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/2034964/ Thu, 18 Mar 2004 06:03:07 PST ~better4where http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/1913627/ http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/1913627/ Fri, 27 Feb 2004 02:48:14 PST i go down the bank
i give colin my labret stud
i go to the lido
i skank drinks of rob and toby ]]> ~better4where http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/1898267/ http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/1898267/ Tue, 24 Feb 2004 12:38:21 PST WHY?

i pay council tax and whatever tax it is you pay out of your wages. im outraged hey took nearly a quarter of my wages-i NEED that money. im working longer to support mindless chavs so they can go out and buy some gold dangly clowns.

my only happines sis the catherine tate show and little britain.

lets hear it for bbc2 sketch shows. ]]> ~better4where http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/1889321/ http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/1889321/ Sun, 22 Feb 2004 14:12:12 PST
i am glad for today i hgue riuot erupted ater the dissappearance of ONE MINI ROLL

we now have a microwave people ]]> ~better4where http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/1853416/ http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/1853416/ Mon, 16 Feb 2004 03:03:06 PST 2. people that use big words they dont know the meaning of
3.soap addicts
4. my theiving whore sister
5.the fact moving out takes time, effort and money
6.hangovers
7.the question "did that hurt"
8.people who think kerrang is the eptiome of alternative lifestyle
9.those dangly clown necklaces in argos
10. the people that buy them
11. cheap carpet
12. the people who claim to be bi-polar just for the added cool factor
13. kim
14. black people who complain of racism then delibratly segregate themselves
15. billy bob thornton
16. stupidly camp gay men
17. pole dancing and pole dancers
18. george bush
19. people who hate geaorge bush but dont know why
20. the cost and need for uni
21. work
22. argos delivery made me carry a mattress up the stairs
23. dog smell
24. people who cant drum playing on my drumkit
25. dungeons and dragons
26. tv spinoffs. yes thats right, angel and frasier.
27. idiots.
28. stella artois
29. the clothing brand "kappa"
30.internet fights
31. the retard olympics
32. homophobia
33. essay writing
34. not getting paid on time
35. having to responsible for myself
36. i want a bunny
37. the fact bbc fired kilroy
38. being asked "are you a goff?"
39. metal guru
40. things that are expensive but shouldnt be
41. strongbow cider
42. needing the toilet
43. the elderly
44. buses full of school children
45. boy smell
46. the pointlessness of room tidying
47. packing for holidays, etc
48. the outragous number and cost of public holidays
49. jehovas wittnesses
50. thefact theres so much to hate
51. all those under 16 years of age
52. poncy lit writers
53. waiting for pizza
54. rational thought
55. carpet and curtains that dont match
56. bills
57. the postman never arrives
58.internet shopping
59. facial piercings not being allowed for work
60. badly dyed hair
61. smudged make up
62. drunk crying girls in bar toilets
63. people who still believe in free will
64. debates
65. constantly poor
66. the way food is eaten so quickly
67. day time tv
68. home makeover channels
69. animal cruelty
70. those charity bastards on the streets who ask you to make a monthly donation
71. nu-metal
72. kurt cobain fanatics-sure he's okay, but thats about it.
73. people who think a song changed their lives. ITS A SONG
74. i wondre if anyone is reading all of these?
75. deviantart idiots
76. why are there only 10 numbers?
77. bingo
78. americans.
79. being called a bigot for hating americans
80. organized religion
81. waiting
82. queueing
83. docto surgeries
84. mass laziness
85. expensive supermarkets. damn you sainsbury's
86. people who say "no offence" just after they said something really offensive
87. boredom
88. laura skinner
89. song writers who cpould be arsed to think of lyrics so put "la la la" or "na na na" instead
90. HTML coding
91. people who think yu-gi-oh is cool
92. yemin
93. black sacks
94. stickers and sellotape
95. dogs barking late at night
96. fireworks two weeks after bonfire night
97. people who demand you eat christmas pudding
98. family
99. families who get on well-bunch of freaks
100. the fact i have so much more stuff i hate ]]> ~better4where http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/1843171/ http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/1843171/ Sat, 14 Feb 2004 08:47:44 PST ~better4where http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/1837626/ http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/1837626/ Fri, 13 Feb 2004 09:30:02 PST ~better4where http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/1827703/ http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/1827703/ Wed, 11 Feb 2004 11:04:57 PST ~better4where http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/1822928/ http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/1822928/ Tue, 10 Feb 2004 11:24:45 PST ~better4where http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/1811435/ http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/1811435/ Sun, 08 Feb 2004 06:10:53 PST
mmm...fish. ]]> ~better4where http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/1786507/ http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/1786507/ Tue, 03 Feb 2004 05:51:31 PST 02. Have you ever stuffed your bra? See above
03. What make-up do you wear daily? Blue or red eyeliner and vaseline
04. What are your underwear like right now? Black bra paisley kickers-erotic.
05. How many pairs of shoes do you own? around 12
06. Come on, tell the truth. Is that really your true hair color? brown
07. What do you most like about your body? That’s it works most of the time
08. And least? Its mortality
09. How many fillings do you have? Zero
10. Do you think you're good looking? Does it matter what I think?
11. Do other people often tell you that you're good-looking? Jack does on occasion. I got a lot of “you look nice with your new….”
12. Do you look like any celebrities? Liza fucking inelli apprently
13. Do you like a man with muscles or not? Don’t give
15. Does your dream guy have long or short hair? Med length
17. How long is your leg hair? Its spikey at the mo
21. Are your eyebrows? Regular hairyness
23. When did you last have a hickey, and where? About 2 months ago on my neck. I was angry at jack all week
24. Are you on birth control? Yus. microgynon
25. Can you dance? I like to think so.
26. Can you lick your nipple? *tries* just about
27. Do you struggle with self-esteem? No, im excellent
38. Do you or have you ever had an eating disorder? Nein. Food is too good to abuse
29. When was your first period? 14 me thinks
30. If you unexpectedly got pregnant, what would you do? Abort it without telling anyone
31. Future daughters/sons names? “the hulk” “flame boy” “razzmatazz” – I don’t know.jack wants gay names like freya.
32. Are you pro-choice? Im pro-my choice.
33. Do your underwear and bras usually match? I don’t own a single matching set of underwear and I don’t care!
THE PAST
01. Any good memories from this year? yus
02. Any bad memories from this year? Yeah, but they led to good ones.
03. Do you regret anything from this year? Not hitting a few people
04. Do you regret anything you've ever done? Nah. Cant be arsed
05. Who was your first boyfriend/girlfriend ross
06. Did you ever had braces? No
07. What is your best childhood memory? Something involving lego no doubt
08. Do you have the same friends you did when you were 10 and under? Clarence and that’s about it
09. What was your favorite childhood toy? I liked to play with mattresses
10. What was your favorite cartoon when you were four? I don’t fucking know! Rainbow prob
11. What was your favorite movie as a child? A Disney one of some sort
12. Did you ever suck your thumb? Yeah, still do if bored
13. What color hair did you have as a kid? brown
14. What was your first word? Mum prob
15. How did your parents name you? They said “lets call her Jemma” and then wrote it on my birth certificate.
16. What does your name mean? “all powerful”

THE PRESENT
01. Current Song: drain the blood by brody and the gang
02. Current CD in player: garbage
03. Current conversations: none.
04. Current time: 13.48
05. Current clothes: underwear, pinstripe trousers and a blue t-shirt
06. Current hair: on head
07. Current taste: water
08. Current mood: excited
09. Current smell: cant smell
10. Current thing you should be doing: showering and washing and getting a job
11. Current desktop picture: the wildcat logo
12. Current favorite group: finch
13. Current book: Robert rankin something or other
14. Current refreshment: water. Im so badass
15. Current worry: that I’ll somehow lose the house
16. Current crush: ouch…. ]]> ~better4where http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/1770744/ http://better4where.deviantart.com/journal/1770744/ Sat, 31 Jan 2004 05:36:24 PST
namely





you wont be missing much. but we're moving into a flat, and prob wont even have food, let alone a phone line connection and broadband (il settle for nothing less). but we have a TV and a toaster and the all important mop.

if people read this that are coming with me. give me £15 each and we can have the following

microwave,hoover, coffee table sandwich toaster and a throw for that hideous sofa.not too bad eh? ]]> ~better4where