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Wooo...I just baked cookies all by myself...

[link] ]]> ~bitter-sweetness http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/5842036/ http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/5842036/ Mon, 04 Jul 2005 21:54:20 PDT outside my bedroom window
pollution turns the skies to black
doves fall and mutate into ravens

rivers flow crimson...
poisoning underwater life
looking out,safe inside my room
or so they think...they're wrong.

its dark, I'm cold, alone, wait...
not alone, my friends are here.
they love me so
they wont do me wrong

they're small and cold...
and sharp around the edges
they give me kisses, gental kisses...
razorblade kisses, smile.

swallow my razors--my pride
before I choke on it
feel the incisions bleeding and burning
infectious and stinging...

inside my reddened throat
as I vomit up my meals
just this one last time...
just this one last night

I let the acid burn my tounge
taste my life as it poors out
coughing up my insides
blood so toxic and corrosive

-Heather ]]> ~bitter-sweetness http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/5750662/ http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/5750662/ Sat, 25 Jun 2005 04:55:35 PDT lips swollen shut,so much better now...
...better then me, disfigured freak-
all can see now, she'll kill you.

serpent tounge, burning touches,
poison snake slither though the cracks
fear of hiding and happiness
fear of me--of you.

not one single happy ending
in this fairy tale of mine
everything hurts like hell
shoot yourself and smile

I'm fucked up, and I fucked you over
only because I loved you dearly.
fuck you more for loving it...hate.
fuck the world once over...

raindrops spoil the photographs
left out in the sun
nervous system failing....down.
so dead and gone...

soak in the blood that fills your bath
clench that withering rose...tightly
prey to your dying god...he dosn't love you
fagget...kill yourself

die...went away...look outside
the angels are crying, wailing...
will I ever find my way home
acid trip--crackwhore, reformed

rest in peace, my love
bleeding only hurts for the moment
then you die...
smile my love...smile...

-Heather ]]> ~bitter-sweetness http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/5712662/ http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/5712662/ Tue, 21 Jun 2005 09:53:03 PDT lost from her friends in the crowd
she met you and you talked..
and .the band kept on playing so loud

instant spark between them
they started...hanging around...
movies and rock shows
and his place after the sun went down.

it was a couple weeks later
he started staying out all night
not returning her calls
they started to fight

its three o'clock in the morning
and shes talking to me...
she dosn't know where hes gone to
don't know where he could be

shes in front of me crying
make-up all over her face
its not going to get any better
her hearts starting to race

I wish she could see it...
I wish she'd turn away
but as she leaves here tonight
shes convinced herself to stay

-heather ]]> ~bitter-sweetness http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/5548190/ http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/5548190/ Sat, 04 Jun 2005 02:13:46 PDT so many long days and nights
yearning for so much more
...I was ment for more then this

to have the life of a superstar
runway model, cover girl...
a life so fucking glamorous
to have all you've ever dreamed of

I wish for someday to leave it all
to have much more then my simple life
to make something out of nothing
to get somewhere and be proud

a dream of many...so numerous
selfish and materialized
for me most likely impossible
I don't have the face for that....

maybe someday..if I dream long enough
I'll have all that I long for...
and I hope to have you by my side...
if not...all this means nothing.....

-Heather ]]> ~bitter-sweetness http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/5518490/ http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/5518490/ Wed, 01 Jun 2005 06:00:04 PDT chasing the tears with haste
she shivers, violently shaking
cause she knows he's coming back

it keeps getting harder with time
to conceal these markings
every bruse, every scar
make-up no longer does the trick

the doorknob turns so slowly
her heart skips a beat in her chest
she gasps...almost a scream
she preys for someone to save her

wanting somewhere she can hide
to go so far from where she is
away from it all...away from him
but its much too late for that

hes home again, in a fit of rage
she draws back from his icy touch
but finds herself face down on te floor
her face red, stinging, and bleeding...

how could she have been so blind?...
she should have left when she had the chance
now as I lie here and remember her, missing her...
I here her words inside my head

"whats one more day?...
not like it'll kill me, it'll go away
he was just upset...thats all
everything will be better tomorrow..."

-Heather ]]> ~bitter-sweetness http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/5507497/ http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/5507497/ Tue, 31 May 2005 01:03:56 PDT look upon the rocks far below
a body rests so hopeless and frial
so precious, whos to blame?

She lies there as still as can be
her hair moves softly in the wind
face down and beaten up
in the open for all to see

water rushes all around
and the rain begins to fall
she still dosn't motion
she's still lying on the ground.

how she ended up there...
is curious to me...
a fall, push, or attempted suicide.
all seeming so unclear

a shadowy figure stands way up high
just above her body so far below
was it his hands that pushed her down
or was it her own will to die?

-Heather ]]> ~bitter-sweetness http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/5414975/ http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/5414975/ Fri, 20 May 2005 19:17:31 PDT unstable moods frequently changing
nothing in the world can save me
sanity gone straight to hell

nothing seems worth it
so far now from perfect
bloodclots from tourniquets
fastened at my wrists

hearing noises in the night
coming after theres no light
will something get me...it just might..
I'd better close my eyes

laughing, screaming, now I'm crying
losing grip...keep on trying
now I fear that I am dying
goodbye to sanity, to you.

-Heather ]]> ~bitter-sweetness http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/5200080/ http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/5200080/ Wed, 27 Apr 2005 00:47:00 PDT deathbeds in virtical rows
deep scarlette wounds
lined on pale flesh of small wrists

numerous leathal insicions
accenting blue lines of life
pulsing beneath delicate skin
draining their miseries in red

growing colder and weaker
mild psychotic laughter
comes from lungs ravinous for air
as vision is lost to darkness

six feet under, cast out and forgotten
in one of many indentical deathbeds
wounds no longer bleeding
pale flesh rotting away

-Heather ]]> ~bitter-sweetness http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/5092047/ http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/5092047/ Fri, 15 Apr 2005 00:56:04 PDT body smells like vomit
tears of pain blind you
overwelmed by a pleasurable high

fingers are being shoved
to the back of your throat again
falling to your knees
all for a little improvement

killing you slowly
each time...a little faster
living your tormented life
down on your knees

when your body hits the floor
and you reach your point of perfection
who'll be there to save you
if no one knows just what you've done

you died this way
chokeing on your knees
just how you lived your life
a slow serrated suicide

-Heather ]]> ~bitter-sweetness http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/5083461/ http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/5083461/ Thu, 14 Apr 2005 00:50:20 PDT out of my mind
dissoriented and confused
eyes wide open, yet so dead

the pool is growing deeper
I'm drowning slowly
in my own mistakes
in my last regrets

crimson and warm
it takes me over completly
gone in my sins
no going back now

looking to my left...
eyes finally in focus
I see you lying next to me
its making more sense now...

your blood spilling out
from the stab wounds in you
drowning me, overwelming....
the knife still clenched tightly in my fist

-Heather ]]> ~bitter-sweetness http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/5074619/ http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/5074619/ Wed, 13 Apr 2005 00:42:22 PDT growing taller with every moment
closing in around me
growing tighter the longer I'm there

getting harder and harder to breath
heart pounding in my chest
nails peiring into my skin
my body slowy getting crushed

theres no escape, I can't get out
it just keeps getting smaller
I'm shaking and crying in fear
as my breathing races

nail marks pressed so deep their bleeding
my body temperture is increasing quickly
save me please....I'm frightened
claustrophobic...I'm smothering....

-Heather ]]> ~bitter-sweetness http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/5012583/ http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/5012583/ Wed, 06 Apr 2005 00:46:55 PDT look hard enough...you'll see them
stop for a moment....you'll feel them
all around us in the dark

breeding on hatred, fear, my insanity...
blood dripping from every fang
poison pulsing though their spines
their claw marks on my flesh

don't look them in the eye
or they will surely grant your deathwish
a cat like seduction drains you
they start to take you over

body grows motionless and numb
and your world fades to black
your mind is lost in torment
weak, powerless, becomeing their prey

claws at your throat,razored and toxic....
deciphering toungs kissing your flesh
their hisses and wispers fill the air...
as they dominate and seize their prey

-Heather ]]> ~bitter-sweetness http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/5003419/ http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/5003419/ Tue, 05 Apr 2005 01:02:40 PDT the scratching, the biting, the bleeding
the pace your blackened heart is beating
the breathing down your neck

the marks left from a loving touch
prompting you to smile....
as the clock tick tocks
its deathbeats so softly

curiosity, lust, sweet temtation...
causes the body to shake, breathing to race...
a rush of blood inside....
leaves you vulnerable, weak and begging

wild sensation, seductive and psychotic....
silhouette's moving in the dark
bloody, cold and wet....
its our little secret...

darkness bleeds over the shadows
drawn to its power like a moth to the flame
surrender to it, to you, to me, for her.
diserable...she'll have you, she'll have her way.

-Heather ]]> ~bitter-sweetness http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4967393/ http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4967393/ Fri, 01 Apr 2005 05:42:50 PST surrounded by tall leafless trees
snow covered and dead
on a grey evening in winter

isolated from the world
nature for miles around
snow birds riding the crisp breezes
that rustled through the woods

just us two, completely alone
no one to tell us what to be
snowflakes laced our hair
and slowly soaked our clothes

not too much to care about
we play like little children
running and shoving each other
until you tackle me down

we catch our breath, lying there
in a hollow in the brush
you resting on top of me
eyes closed tight

with a single moment
a slow gental second
eyes are opened to see where we laid
our gazes meet and lock

and before our eyes
our simple childlike game
starts to grow into something new...
the art of growing up

we play the games the adults play
and our snow games are in the past
although they are not forgotten
just abandoned for something new

-Heather ]]> ~bitter-sweetness http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4957542/ http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4957542/ Thu, 31 Mar 2005 01:52:01 PST watching the reflections of the birds
flying high and free
in the disturbed puddles on the ground

hair dripping wet
clothes quickly soaking through
a bitter chill sparks a tear
and a sickness is born and spreads

a dreamer longing for freedom
wishing to leave it all behind
to soar high and never fall
yet bound by a harsh reality

inside, theres a heart that could learn to love
a soul thats born to fly
a smile built to shine
and a mind made for greatness

but in a harsh new world
a heart is broken and brused
a soul is grounded
and the smile is masked

the puddles now bare no reflections
all the birds have gone away
left to rot in capitivity
standing in the pooring rain ]]> ~bitter-sweetness http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4939656/ http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4939656/ Tue, 29 Mar 2005 01:53:04 PST large dark eyes, bloodshot and bleeding
razor sharp fangs gleaming in the moonlight
an insatiable thirst yearning within

decending from the abyss
crawling out from a dark damp tomb
into the late night shadows
the vampire awaits its prey

amongst the marble headstones
the undead monstrosity hides
waiting to seize the moment
to satisfy its thirst

finally the long anticipated moment
was within its icy grasp
and without hesitation
was quickly embraced

the razor sharp fangs
peirced the mortals flesh and veins
its long brittal nails
tearing through their precious skin

with blood dripping off its dead frozen lips
fresh blood pulsing through its viens
eyes burning with the cold fires of hell
the damned is ready to unleash itself on the world

-Heather ]]> ~bitter-sweetness http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4914444/ http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4914444/ Sat, 26 Mar 2005 01:33:18 PST in the way she looked at me
eyes like dark subtal windows
into the things that used to be

a rapest, a killer, a helpless victim
overtaken by imoral sin
she sold her body and soul to the devil
leaving darkness and hatred within

bound by straps and wires
her demonic laughter filled the air
killing all those that tried to restrain her
tramitizing those she spared

her deep burning eyes took me
before the entire image became clearer
it was at that moment I came to relize
it was me reflection in the mirror

-Heather ]]> ~bitter-sweetness http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4905926/ http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4905926/ Fri, 25 Mar 2005 02:14:22 PST body in eternal rest
pounding heart, keeps on racing
an emptyness that needs replacing

lips gentally kiss my skin
blood rushing in the veins within
new sensation from your icy tuch
taken by a secret lust

nails begin to sink deep and scratch
each moment we become more attached
teeth lovingly tear and bite
lay this way till mornings first light

embracing darkness, avoiding day
no rules to abide in the game we play
me and you make eternity
we're all those things people dread to be

lovers blood, sweet sensation
fill my hearts greatest temptation
a final kiss, a permenant spell
icy lips sealed forever, and I'll never tell....

-Heather ]]> ~bitter-sweetness http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4905917/ http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4905917/ Fri, 25 Mar 2005 02:11:15 PST I'm down upon my battered knees
a single feeling that you crave
I am your dominated love slave

my dress is then ripped off of me
about to surrender my virginity
in the heating moment you can't wait
you feel the urge to penetrate

with you deep inside of me
I open my viens so I can bleed
both of us dripping and wet
theres no way that we're finished yet

we could stay this way all night
skin covered in liquid stains of red and white
moans and screams fill the air
loud enough for the world to hear

with the passionate night been and gone
forced to surrender to the breaking dawn
until the sun shys away
then we can come back out and play

-Heather ]]> ~bitter-sweetness http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4886885/ http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4886885/ Wed, 23 Mar 2005 00:46:21 PST watching my feet drag the ground
holding my breath in silence
tears wash dirt stains from my face

hands bound to my feet
with heavy chains of self hatred
shackled in sin
as I march to the gallows

life flashes before me
standing on a trap door
while a rope cradles itself around my neck
and the exicutioner, asks for final words

moments later, free in a hangman's noose
no last words, no final prayer
the sky clouds over
as I hang in the gallows...

-Heather ]]> ~bitter-sweetness http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4860655/ http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4860655/ Sun, 20 Mar 2005 07:06:58 PST me tight
don't let me go
keep me safe from harm

Thrill
my senses
passionate and wild
nothing to hold back

Kiss
me lovingly
alone in the dark
show me that you care

Kill
me quickly
don't get too close
I don't want to hurt you...

-Heather ]]> ~bitter-sweetness http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4859510/ http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4859510/ Sun, 20 Mar 2005 01:59:09 PST to the beast, to the wolf...
as he cries to the harvest moon
roses of red...
clenched in fists wrapped in wire
bound for the sacrifice
as he hovers over you...
on the night of you parting...

-Heather ]]> ~bitter-sweetness http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4833602/ http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4833602/ Thu, 17 Mar 2005 01:04:10 PST 1,2,3
dreams of hate to set me free
I am counting
3,2,1,
slowly reaching for my gun

I am counting
4,5,6
the trigger makes a quiet click
I am counting
6,5,4
wishing there was something more

I am counting
7,8,9
questions racing through my mind
I am counting
9,8,7
will I rien in hell or serve in heaven?

I am counting
10,11...I'm done
no more counting...I fire the gun
life is full of countless steps
but the last always bares the title "death"

-Heather ]]> ~bitter-sweetness http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4816239/ http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4816239/ Tue, 15 Mar 2005 01:00:26 PST playing in the dark
biting, scratching, blaeeding...
tearing eachother apart

raptor talons and sepent tounges
skin of an ebony black
kitten eyes and razor fangs
spines run down their backs

happy little creatures...
they appear to be
until they catch the firmiller scent...
of tortured insanity

it drives them wild
makes them tick
they hunt and prey...
feed on the sick

they stalk you in the darkness
play games inside your head
show no mercy as they tear you apart
they wont stop until I'm dead...

-Heather ]]> ~bitter-sweetness http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4807049/ http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4807049/ Mon, 14 Mar 2005 01:08:18 PST festering inside my mirror
measures taken to an all new extreme
to make a better image clearer

adapting to a life of semi-starvation
haircuts and jet black make-up
all in serch of self improvement
failed attempts run down with bad luck...

wild sensation...a kind of addicting high
my first time is hard to explain
light headed and a rush of blood
mixed with a slight touch of pain

taste of vomit--binge and purge
fix the imperfections
pills to help the misery of failure
all to change my reflection

-Heather ]]> ~bitter-sweetness http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4798843/ http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4798843/ Sun, 13 Mar 2005 02:09:26 PST darkness and smoke filled skies
smell of bloodshed in the air
all inside my head

friends falling, I can't help them...
their bodies fill the trenches
bodies of those I held close
taken from me forever...

on my own....
fend for yourself...and no other
loseing a raging battle
in an endless war

put the gun in my trembling hand
lined with battle scars
voices screaming...shouting
Fire at will!

finger on the triger
stareing down the barrel
just one click to my happy ending
end the war...fire at will...

-Heather ]]> ~bitter-sweetness http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4790700/ http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4790700/ Sat, 12 Mar 2005 01:09:36 PST hanging, choking...gasping for air
hoping that you'll find me
before I'm gone forever

feeling my heartbeat grow slower
beat harder...then weaker
body growing colder
theres still no sign of you

a final breath fills my lungs
and the knot tightens to its best
Im hung...motionless now
I guess you didn't care...

The door opens slowly, just a crack
light filters into the darkness
highlighting my face and the rope around my neck
just moments to late to save me

-Heather ]]> ~bitter-sweetness http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4779532/ http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4779532/ Thu, 10 Mar 2005 17:19:20 PST her hair flaming red
skin a ghostly white
is she alive, or simply dead?

a second dark soul
with eyes a sickening blue
he can overpower her
she wont sleep till he is through.

gashes on her body
blood dripping from her lip
bruses tone her fragile skin
his harsh hand holds a violent wip

bite marks on his neck
his lips are bleeding aswell
scars run up his arms
its a romance straight from hell

no words are needed to be said
their actions say it all
a silent love driven by pian
they will rise up but never fall

habits that damage the body
the constant spilling of blood
each soul slightly...vampiric
both expressing their love.

-Heather ]]> ~bitter-sweetness http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4756793/ http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4756793/ Tue, 08 Mar 2005 01:13:23 PST you'll see me smile at those I meet.
you see me go from place to place,
my emerald eyes and smiling face

hiding the bruises lacing my skin,
so I don't reveal the pain living within.
Stairing at someone who really dosn't care,
I give them a smile and choke back a tear.

I return to my home,the smile fades away,
my empty green eyes see nothing but grey.
My vision is blured,the tears stream down,
the former smile is now a frown.

as I lie in the dark I try and sleep,
but the pain is great and the scars run deep.
another long night drags on by,
and the sun now shines in a sapphire sky...

I head off to school, my covers back on...
my smile is wide and the tears have all gone.
I pull through the day hiding my pain,
but this happy cover is hard to maintain.

when I return to the darkness I call my home,
the air turns cold and I feel all alone.
I think of you and how much you don't care,
how often you lied and how you caused me fear.

as the blade peirced my skin and impaled my heart,
you were my last thought,at my painful depart.
my blood ran down...a slow painful fall...
one thing you should learn is a smile can hide all.

-Heather ]]> ~bitter-sweetness http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4747910/ http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4747910/ Mon, 07 Mar 2005 00:56:18 PST the shadows on the river
gracefully dancing
underneath the wooden bridge

sitting on the icy rocks
next to you in the dark
stars twinkle over the hilltops
and the water wispers in the darkness

howling of the wind
as it passes under the bridge
its cold but we don't mind
we embrace the peaceful moment

with one arm wraped around me
my head at rest on your sholder
shivering from the bitter night air
a moment to hold tightly

as the wind wips over the water
and the stars hide behind dark clouds
we abandon our sheltered hollow
on the rocks below the bridge

-Heather ]]> ~bitter-sweetness http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4732102/ http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4732102/ Sat, 05 Mar 2005 03:12:49 PST stained red with disease ridden blood
jaded eyes of a sickening green
raven hair gentally flowing past a pair of slender sholders

insanity curses through her viens
demetia through her twisted mind
darkness in her empty heart
depression within those intense, jaded eyes

lacerations bleeding on her wrists
which only prompt her to smile
a paitent girl she would appear to be
as she awaits the slow, bitter kiss of death

a schizophrenic wreck
who was never taught self-confidence
a bulimic type nausea dwels within her
its no wonder she dreams of release

she watches shadows on her walls
its three a.m on an icy morning
but she couldn't care any less
just one day closer to her wish as ar as shes concerned

why not just end it if theres so much pain?...
well those were her thoughts exactly
the clock struck four and she granted her own wish
death kissed her lips and took her life away

-Heather ]]> ~bitter-sweetness http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4676706/ http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4676706/ Sat, 26 Feb 2005 10:24:00 PST on all thats close to me
slipping further rom my fingertips
falling away forever

I'm left with countless scars
no memories to treasure
good times turned rotten
and good friends turned strangers

damaged beyond repair
a shattered heart and soul
self confidence overrun with self hatred
wounds that will never heal

rotting away with sickness
putting myself to the test
forseeing brutal failure
about ready to give in

looking into deaths cold eyes
no desire to turn my back
into darkness I jump
into freedom I fall

-Heather ]]> ~bitter-sweetness http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4674349/ http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4674349/ Fri, 25 Feb 2005 22:44:29 PST my mind, my soul, my heart
slowly, slowly...
nothing stopping it now...

Hush...live in silence
no one hears the voices...
wispering...like I do, Why?
ever so gentally...

the poison in my viens
running cold, lifeless...
silently...painfully...
killing me...

tell me what I did to diserve this
please...I'll do anything...
anything to make it better...
I promise, please...

torn apart, confused
what am I going to do?
what can I do?
I'm a lost cause...

broken beyond repair
I'm ever so sorry...
shes coming...
I'm so fucking sorry...

-Heather ]]> ~bitter-sweetness http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4634334/ http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4634334/ Mon, 21 Feb 2005 01:16:03 PST two dark eyes, so empty
her soft voice calling to me
from below the surface of the water

she motions for me to come closer
to join her in the icy depths
calling my name...louder now
I can't seem to fight it

can't tear my eyes away
its just me and her now...
I'm losing my grip on reality
as her voice continues to call me

leaning forward to meet my fate
to join her down below
when I'm suddenly back in my world
cradled in your arms

standing on the snow covered rocks
shaking...frightened...confused
and although I'm once again safe from harm
her laughter still surrounds me

-Heather ]]> ~bitter-sweetness http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4616866/ http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4616866/ Fri, 18 Feb 2005 18:39:29 PST tracks tell the story of my life
tortured tales and heroine
walked on the blade of a knife

acid burning on my tounge
does the body well...
the drugs, my bloody scapegoat
it became my living hell

just a few more pills to happiness
a few more to easy the pain
choke them back in a mouthfull of blood
no one but myself to blame

all spone out, lying here...
a dope fiend at her best
my world crumbling around me
failing an impossiable test

druged and bleeding on the floor
playing that same old song
lying in a pool of poisoned blood
dying shouldn't take too long...

-Heather ]]> ~bitter-sweetness http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4607606/ http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4607606/ Thu, 17 Feb 2005 15:22:09 PST for the pen across the paper
as it scribbles its way along
spelling out your thoughts

each line thats written
deeper then the first
telling the story of life
and apologizing for it...

spots of ink, tears and blood
mix with letters on the paper
getting harder to read...
but much easier to write

a chill grows in the air
the last lines are growing nearer
not much left to say now...
just one thing left to do

your name scrawls on the paper
at the bottem in a blur
your razor signs your wrist goodbye
and the pen softly follows your body to the floor

-Heather ]]> ~bitter-sweetness http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4598006/ http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4598006/ Wed, 16 Feb 2005 12:40:20 PST my skin this one last time
I'm sick of lying to myself
pretending that I'm fine

poison running through my viens
plusing to my heart
each heartbeat slowly breaking
tearing me apart

a mind cursed with sickness
slowly driven insane
each scar or memory
marked with its own bloodstain

a hopeless addiction it appears
dieing with each injection
lying to myself again
calling it my protection

take this needle from my vien
chain me up inside
pin me down break my spine
don't let me come untied

this poisons my salvation
makes the truth hard to believe
it protects my from myself
and its slowly killing me

-Heather ]]> ~bitter-sweetness http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4560037/ http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4560037/ Sat, 12 Feb 2005 07:03:44 PST making no sense
running faster, bleeding quicker
paining...
sick of all the people
with their endless lies..
their blank see through smiles
tearing me apart
silently screaming inside
I'm dying...
sickness is spreading...
smile faded away
something is missing...
but what...who..do I care?
tied up, used, hated, lost
battered and broken
look in my eyes
you'll see all that bleeds...
lives inside...
I'm sorry
I don't want to hurt anyone
but I do, I'm sorry
I'm your darkside, the worst part of you
your imperfection....
I'm on my way down now
all alone...no ones coming with me
to help me...
to save me...
I'm coughing up my life
the blood, the acid...coming up my throat...
my finger forcing its way down
I can't stop it now
made myself cry
burried alive
watched myself die
on the inside...
my razor...
my security, safety blanket, my friend...
brings out my problems...
lets them run over my skin
terrorized, living a lie
pretending I'm fine...
when I'm not...
but they'll never see that.
I wont let let you see
whats inside of me
you'll be safer that way...
I promise
Sing sad songs
in the darkness
me...why?
hush now...its a secret...
regrets..my own
all alone, heartless.
I'm stronger yet weaker
then ever before....
I rub my eyes...
I'm awake again
sleepless nightmares...death
pain...
I watched you die
watched me kill myself
no one is really alive
inside...
join me now...
scream, fight, bleed, hurt, fuck, die...
lose all faith
in hope, love and life
let it go...
its gone, your gone...
they're gone...I'm gone...
forever...

-Heather ]]> ~bitter-sweetness http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4548447/ http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4548447/ Thu, 10 Feb 2005 17:42:59 PST like you don't belong?
like your about to die?
hurting to much to even care...

broken down, kicked around, beaten on...
lost...
do you know how it feels to rot...
rot away from the inside out?

holding secrets that don't want to be held
not ment to cradled inside
living each day...
with a lying smile

locked away in a room
wishing the days away
fighting the temptation to bleed
being all alone...

hating yourself, your reflection
your family, your so called friends...
so much hatred
bottled up inside

listening to faint wispers
rocking back and forth
talking to yourself
growing colder...deeper...

do you know how it feels...
to be abandoned, forsaken, and forgotten?
to be all alone
with no sholder to cry on?

to have someone throw you away
shatter you like a glass...
and leave you alone to pick up the shards
but you never really find them all?

It leaves a wound...inside you
a wound so deep...
you cant scream, you can't forget, and you can't heal
it just bleeds, and bleeds, and bleeds...

-Heather ]]> ~bitter-sweetness http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4537090/ http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4537090/ Wed, 09 Feb 2005 10:47:02 PST that your life was just a dream
that any minute you'll open your eyes
and it will all go away

all the hate, pain, and tears
would just vanish...
hoping that when the nightmare is over,
there'll be someone there to hear you scream

that...does not happen
wishes-never granted
dreams still get distroyed
not a dream, a nightmare

my life, my world, my reality...
cold and heartless
no trust, no truth, no love, just agony...
I am forsaken, forever forgotten

taught to be nothing
I am less then nothing
there will be no happiness....
not for me

I am the dead
burn it into my mind
my heart, my soul...break me open,
fear whats inside...run!

You should stay away
don't get so close
run and hide...fear
please....

filled with memories...
memories that are more like scars
only thing is...
scars don't hurt...

my wrists...
begging for my razors kiss
begging...screaming
longing....

just kill me...now
I beg of you
if you care or me at all...do it...
wake me up....

-Heather ]]> ~bitter-sweetness http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4526593/ http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4526593/ Tue, 08 Feb 2005 04:49:48 PST choke themselves in their halo's
while my eyes are closed
in my dreams oh so sweet

your icy breath
sends shivers down my spine
as it wakes me from my slumber
and brings me back from my dreams

warmth from your body
cradleing me from the darkness
and the angels hanging around me
imbedded in my mind

your knives running all over my back
tracing my spine...so gentally
blood spilling out warming my skin
with a soothing kiss, I'm bleeding

pulsing through my viens
your my drug, my addiction...my salvation
saving me from myself
ever so pitiful, at your mercy

your love strangling me
taking my breath away...breathing slowing
but at least its your hands
closing around my throat

-Heather ]]> ~bitter-sweetness http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4518110/ http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4518110/ Mon, 07 Feb 2005 05:59:53 PST up her spine while shes sleeping
the sounds of her weeping
fill the room when she wakes

her eyes fill with tears
as she drowns in her fears
she needs someone who cares
to watch over her

it bleeds and it burns
as she twists and she turns
the comfort she yearns
she can't seem to find

she screams and she cries
but know matter how hard she tries
shes ignored as she dies
with no one to miss her...

-Heather ]]> ~bitter-sweetness http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4509040/ http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4509040/ Sun, 06 Feb 2005 04:12:33 PST is to much for my heart to take
if I should die before I wake
I beg you to forget me.

I'm a danger to humanity
slipping far from sanity
I've lost myself within me
I wont cause no more pain.

nothing now but broken remains
and I'm hoping for your blood to stain
as I slash at you and scream your name
an anger built up inside.

Now I'm lying on my bed
with my hands atop my aching head
within the hour I'll be dead
I slowly close my eyes.

-Heather ]]> ~bitter-sweetness http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4473157/ http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4473157/ Tue, 01 Feb 2005 16:55:01 PST an uncontrolable fire
a sick little girl
with a secret desire

an untreatable disorder
complete lack of nutrition
a sick little girl
her disease dwelling within

she never told a soul
that she was slowly losing weight
a sick little girl
doomed to an unavoidable fate

no more nights of vomiting
no more being sick
a dead little girl
that no one knew was bulimic

-Heather ]]> ~bitter-sweetness http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4458289/ http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4458289/ Sun, 30 Jan 2005 23:59:56 PST with long, flowing hair, and skin of a pale ivory,
sways gentally,
from a rope tied to the ceiling vent.

A strong young man
with a heart of gold and nothing more then good intentions,
lies cold and motionless on the ground,
with blood slowly draining from his severed wrists,

A freckle faced girl,
with crimson lockes down to her slender chin,
drops the empty pill case,
and slowly slips into nothingness

A pale faced boy,
surrounded by a coat of darkness,
pulls the triger...it clicks,
and a silver bullet shatters his fragile skull.

Then...theres me,
a girl whos life is tainted and broken
still, waiting for my time...
and my moment of release.

-Heather ]]> ~bitter-sweetness http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4442912/ http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4442912/ Sat, 29 Jan 2005 05:57:58 PST two eyes are locked in place
intently stairing, watching...
a slow cold kiss

poisoned veins accept the kiss
they return it in a unique way
giving up their precious contents
to the anxiously awaiting razor

the milk white skin
accent with tender purple markings
was broken with a silent kiss
to help wash away the misery

now...the face of a mistake in time
grins widely, in happineess
emereld eyes sparkling in joy
all at the thought of leaving

her cold pale lips
kiss the laceration, gentally...
tasting the warm rich liquid
drinking her fill

pale lips stained an intense shade of red
her eyes are glazing over
shes dying now...
I finally left my hell.

-Heather ]]> ~bitter-sweetness http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4439337/ http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4439337/ Fri, 28 Jan 2005 17:45:51 PST traffic rushing beneath me
I watch the city in the distance
and I think to myself...

as I stand hear watching
someones killing themselves
in a house in the distance
unknown to all near by

was it someone of importance?
does it even matter?
they wornt be missed for long
I seen them die

I'm standing on an overpass
traffic rushing beneath me
as I push myself off---Falling
I think to myself.... ]]> ~bitter-sweetness http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4398905/ http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4398905/ Mon, 24 Jan 2005 00:17:19 PST thoughts pulsing through my mind
wind burning my face
tears freezing on my skin

rope in hand, silently I move
I slither outside the railing
looking down into cold dark waters
it looks plenty deep from here

with a final thought and tear
I let myself go, leaving it all behind
as the water comes rushing toward me
I stop before hitting the surface

with my neck snug in my rope, I hang...
just inches above the water
swaying in silence, in freedom...
a perfect fall into my happy ending

-Heather ]]> ~bitter-sweetness http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4379020/ http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4379020/ Fri, 21 Jan 2005 17:27:27 PST in the infinate black void
that the world calls the sky
and is home to all the stars

on the ground below
a figure stands
in a grassy field
shadowed silver by the pale moonlight

a summer breeze
carreses her hair, gentally
as her bold, deep eyes
gaze towards the stars

her slender, boney body
is ghostly white under the faint moonbeams
wrapped in ebony fabrics
young fresh and innocent

this is the dream
of the impure children of the world
the shamed, the forsaken ones
whos innocence is just out of reach

-Heather ]]> ~bitter-sweetness http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4324058/ http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4324058/ Sat, 15 Jan 2005 03:45:59 PST that I have done something wrong
I know I was an accident
but I feel like more of a mistake

I sit in isolation within my icy room
my hands are shaking soaked with blood
my long hair converted to a raven shade
my pale skin enrobed in darkness

tainted with a slow serrated misery
I have been forsaken...forgotten
by what I used to call my family
but now I see that they are not

to be bitched at and abused
is no more than a daily rutine for me
I do not no what it means to have a family
I imagine I never will

surely you all can see that I'm unstable
a walking emotional wreck
plagued with a fatal disease
stairing suicide in its hypnotic eyes

people constantly ask me why
I normally avoid the difficult question
the answer is none of their concern
after all, they don't really care

to feel wanted and loved
is merely a fading dream
now the cold face of reality is watching...
it confirms the truth I already knew

these are my reasons I'm better off alone
I hope you understand them
now as my breathing slows I'll tell you one last thing
listen closely...." I'm sorry"

-Heather ]]> ~bitter-sweetness http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4240018/ http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4240018/ Tue, 04 Jan 2005 17:48:18 PST In the darkness of my home
only to find that I've lost myself
in that reoccuring dream

the rain streamed down
in the cool night air...soaking me
not a single breath of wind to be felt
and the moon shone in all her glory

through raindrops and darkness
I find your eyes, so loving...so deep...
such a precious moment
one I shall treasure, and hold with me always

then, your hands...so gental
reach out, to give me a gift
a rose as red as blood, bleeding from my viens
each petal soft as your touch

I feel the warmth from you skin
caressing my face
as you wipe away the raindrops
and push my hair from in front of my eyes

then with one intense moment
slowly, you lean in close...
you close your beautiful eyes...
only to find that I've opened mine.

-Heather ]]> ~bitter-sweetness http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4184471/ http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4184471/ Wed, 29 Dec 2004 11:10:47 PST two of us stripped naked on the floor
in your basement apartment
from dusk till dawn

prozac pills and heroine
pumping through our blood
porno flicks and cheep alchol
the simple joys in our life

Sugar highs and sugar lows
dimmed lights and a broken radio
scratched cd's, broken bottles
and our colthing lined the floor

six years later, moved away
still looking back at then
seeing your apartment as it was
the night I found you hung in it.

-heather ]]> ~bitter-sweetness http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4139052/ http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4139052/ Thu, 23 Dec 2004 18:34:12 PST to four bedposts in the dark
you don't struggle, you can't wait
unsure of what I'll do

a leather coller laced with spikes
accents your slender neck
your eyes franticly sift through the shadows
trying so hard to find me

asending from the darkness
I slowly approach your body
its time for you get...
just what you've been waiting for

the gental touch of my wip and chains
passionatly caress your naked back
your screams are a morbid symphony
music that feeds my soul...

bleeding lashes and purple bruses
scars of pleasure and love
my laughter, your screams
penetrate the silence

your eyes open to a dark room
the shackles have come undone
abandoned wips and chains lye still
and I...am no wear to be seen

-Heather ]]> ~bitter-sweetness http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4117115/ http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4117115/ Tue, 21 Dec 2004 06:32:45 PST singing to yourself,
hoping no one will here you,
yet...wishing someone would find you?

have you ever lied awake at night,
crying in the dark,
eventually falling asleep,
with a razorblade clenched tight in your fist?

have you ever talked to someone,
someone you thought was perfectly happy,
someone who was hiding their true feelings,
someone...someone, like me?

well...have you?...have you?!
no!! you haven't!!
because you don't fucking care!
and your to blind to see what right in front of you!!! ]]> ~bitter-sweetness http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4030042/ http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/4030042/ Thu, 09 Dec 2004 19:04:12 PST boots up to her knees
pale skin topped off with raven hair
slouched on the corner of the street

pornografic and tragic
cheap films in black and white
trying to make a quick doller
working every night

a run in her fishnet stocking
black lace underwear
cockaine in her pockets
not a penny to spear

nameless in the obituaries
victim of homicide rape
stolen off her corner
gone without a trace

-Heather ]]> ~bitter-sweetness http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/3929404/ http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/3929404/ Sat, 27 Nov 2004 04:56:25 PST each moment and passing memory
so I filled a box with countless scars
locked it up and threw away the key

its a box of sinful secrets
of things that have been and gone
hidden from the world
where memories belong

tales of sorrow love and loss
and things you'll never see
all locked inside, forever more
deep inside of me

-Heather ]]> ~bitter-sweetness http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/3924470/ http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/3924470/ Fri, 26 Nov 2004 12:52:50 PST the crack in your mind,
the reason you can't sleep...
the misery in your eyes,
the cuts on your wrists,
The voice inside your head,
the pain in your memory...
is me... ]]> ~bitter-sweetness http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/3880941/ http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/3880941/ Sat, 20 Nov 2004 19:02:00 PST crying, screaming, hurting, drowning
in the valley of death
forsaken by the world

the crimson sky fades to black
as the firey sun vanised in the hills
and the echoed howls of the silver wolves
danced through the stars

from beneath my feet
the pebbles slip, slowly one by one
stolen by the current
tumbling to the relm of no where

my body shivered, submerged in the depths
the icy water caressing my neck
gentally, lovingly an unforgetable feeling
that grew as it over took me completly

watching the water take me away
feeling the water fill my lungs
my screams were silenced
and my sorrows washed away

I no longer stand in the shadowed stream
my cries no longer fill the air
only the howls of the dying wolves remain
to keep the darkness company

-Heather ]]> ~bitter-sweetness http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/3831062/ http://bitter-sweetness.deviantart.com/journal/3831062/ Sun, 14 Nov 2004 07:20:32 PST it starts to wail and cry
now that its life has started
it begins to die

up to a certian point in life
the child has grown up strong
but then the child grows smart enough
to know it does not belong

the smiling child fades away
a frown replaces its carefree grin
trying to find its way through life
swallowed by blasphmy and sin

the sinner child walks a line
dotted with bad behavior
the line drew to an abrupt end
leading the child to a razor

the child only had a single friend
its friend the razorblade
without regret this friend was used
to take the pain of life away

-Heather ]]> ~bitter-sweetness