http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:blackred-GlassRose&section=today deviantART RSS for by:blackred-GlassRose en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Tue, 15 Dec 2009 23:04:13 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://blackred-GlassRose.deviantart.com/journal/13728240/ http://blackred-GlassRose.deviantart.com/journal/13728240/ Sat, 14 Jul 2007 02:36:21 PDT
If you want to find information on me try asking me or something or leave a comment saying i should get a website or something. Don't read crap that's on this website and think you know about me.

Thank you.

Aisha.

]]> ~blackred-GlassRose http://blackred-GlassRose.deviantart.com/journal/9903274/ http://blackred-GlassRose.deviantart.com/journal/9903274/ Wed, 30 Aug 2006 02:31:58 PDT
*laughs hysterically*

There's a reason your name and fucker both have 6 letters you know.

I was so right, you really are a piece of shit. My featured piece? Oh yeah, you know it's all for you baby.

For everyone who didn't know, when I reach the brink of an emotion I begin to laugh hysterically, I actually suffer from real medical hysteria.

You WILL read this, I realised you read everything I have here...

I was your fool once again. Touche.

But I cannot condone you or the way you solve problems, all you have done were senseless acts of distruction. Really quite befitting of someone a stupid as you but for some reason, I expected better. I believed in you.

But I am the fool, your fool, or I was once, not anymore.

I am discarding you, I don't want or need you in my life.

Goodbye. ]]> ~blackred-GlassRose http://blackred-GlassRose.deviantart.com/journal/9603456/ http://blackred-GlassRose.deviantart.com/journal/9603456/ Fri, 04 Aug 2006 23:31:46 PDT
Xavier and I love this song

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My Girl's Ex-Boyfriend by Relient K

When he was seeing her
You could see he had his doubts
And now he's missing her
Because he knows he's missing out
Now it's haunting him
Her memory's like a ghost
He's so terrified
Cause no one else even comes close

He's a guy that you should feel sorry for
He had the world but he thought that he wanted more
I owe it all to the mistake that he made back then
I owe it all to my girl's ex-boyfriend

So then, along comes me,
This undeserving mess (undeserving mess)
Who would believe
My life would be so blessed (life would be so blessed)
Two years ago
He left all that debris (left all that debris)
Who would've known
He would leave everything I need

He's a guy that you should feel sorry for
He had the world but he thought that he wanted more
I owe it all to the mistake that he made back then
I owe it all to my girl's ex-boyfriend

If it wasn't for him
I would still be searching
If it wasn't for him
I wouldn't know my best friend
If it wasn't for him
He would be able to see
If it wasn't for him
He would be as happy as me

When she and I settle down you can bet
That he is going to have to settle for less
He's someone I would hate to be
I got the girl and he's left with just the memory.

He's a guy that you should feel sorry for
He had the world but he thought that he wanted more
I owe it all to the mistake that he made back then
I owe it all to my girl's ex-boyfriend

If it wasn't for him
I would still be searching
If it wasn't for him
I wouldn't know my best friend
If it wasn't for him
He would be able to see
If it wasn't for him
He would be as happy as me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oh yeah

The pain will become the proof of the bond between us.

"She's the flame and you're just paper. You're scared 'cause she's gotten closer. *Stole Everything your Heart Desired*"

]]> ~blackred-GlassRose http://blackred-GlassRose.deviantart.com/journal/9380653/ http://blackred-GlassRose.deviantart.com/journal/9380653/ Fri, 14 Jul 2006 22:59:19 PDT
Okay so the sunday after Tristan said he loved me...I promised I'd never say it and not mean it but the lonely feeling I got on the Saturday could have killed me...Nicky was there with her beau Adrian and I was there looking lovely and all alone..then my ex boyfriend who didn't want to break up in the first place came to her house...HOW.LAME. It totally darkened my mood...blah...oh well..after all the guy ogling me at the party we went to that ngiht I didn't feel so bad. So yeah I told him I loved him too and the Sunday after I dumped him, we got back together. Then the thursday of that week (It stretched into early Friday morning) he said that he didn't want "this" meanign our relationship, because it felt wrong because when I cussed him after I dumped him, it spelt out to him that I don't trust him, that I think he's lower than a dog and now that he knew I went out with another dude, he doesn't trust me. lol I think that's hilarious, anyway, he suggested a mutual breakup and being livid as I was; I explained to him that It was as good as done because of course I'd agree, I'd been trying to dump him for the past two weeks. I told him that I wished no further contact at all with him and wished to enver see him again and for finality, I said something I never say: Goodbye. Then i logged offline...

In the end I realised I don't love him but I do LIKE him atleast and he's a good person so I apologised for the harsh irrational things I said and made up and now we're friends...

Of course someone as proud as myself felt horrible after having to admit that I was wrong and needed or atleast wanted him as a friend...But I was redeemed as on that very same Friday, in the night, Xavier asked me to be his gf

LOL Can ANYONE imagine how smug I felt? Tristan introduced me to all his best friends so naturally by Saturday he knew...He admitted to still liking me and was admittedly stung by my getting another boyfriend not the day after but the same day!!! Anyway..Xavier and I went to go watch Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest on Wednesday.

In all honesty I saw most...well..alot...well..some..well..enough of the movie ...lol anyway I actually feel really good this week, proud that I threw Tristan's suggested mutual break up in his face, that I got another boyfriend so soon, proud that all the girls I go to school with who saw me at the movies couldn't stop drooling at Xavier and smiling at me, asking if he was my boyfriend. Well that's life for now..Mum hasn't been bitching lately...I got a tan...I've been eating like every two days lol yeah..so life's okay..well I'm gone now, I just realised i had left you hanging is all

So whether you cared/have nothing better to do/just love the soap opera life of mine/want to gossip about it (I'm not being coneited people actually do that ) yeah, thanks for reading!!!!

~Aisha~ ]]> ~blackred-GlassRose http://blackred-GlassRose.deviantart.com/journal/9225492/ http://blackred-GlassRose.deviantart.com/journal/9225492/ Thu, 29 Jun 2006 20:39:48 PDT ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The convo:

"tris"(girls only) i cant think stright says:
oh and if i dont talk to u after today for a while its not becz i dont like u....cuz i dont not like u....its just ...u kno
BØ¥©®ÅZ¥ Ïmmðçülåtë Kïttén~And now the story's ended so where's my prince charming and happily ever after? Running late? *SORRY* says:
yeah i know..you'll need a couple days for your ego to recover
"tris"(girls only) i cant think stright says:
excusse me
BØ¥©®ÅZ¥ Ïmmðçülåtë Kïttén~And now the story's ended so where's my prince charming and happily ever after? Running late? *SORRY* says:
i'm joking!
BØ¥©®ÅZ¥ Ïmmðçülåtë Kïttén~And now the story's ended so where's my prince charming and happily ever after? Running late? *SORRY* says:
okay
"tris"(girls only) i cant think stright says:
what ego
BØ¥©®ÅZ¥ Ïmmðçülåtë Kïttén~And now the story's ended so where's my prince charming and happily ever after? Running late? *SORRY* says:
i know, i get it
"tris"(girls only) i cant think stright says:
u better
BØ¥©®ÅZ¥ Ïmmðçülåtë Kïttén~And now the story's ended so where's my prince charming and happily ever after? Running late? *SORRY* says:
that's how i felt when jeremy dumped me..to this day i stil rarely see him because of it now..
BØ¥©®ÅZ¥ Ïmmðçülåtë Kïttén~And now the story's ended so where's my prince charming and happily ever after? Running late? *SORRY* says:
i understand completely
"tris"(girls only) i cant think stright says:
i dont care about u and jermy god damit
BØ¥©®ÅZ¥ Ïmmðçülåtë Kïttén~And now the story's ended so where's my prince charming and happily ever after? Running late? *SORRY* says:
i just explaining that i understand damnit
BØ¥©®ÅZ¥ Ïmmðçülåtë Kïttén~And now the story's ended so where's my prince charming and happily ever after? Running late? *SORRY* says:
dont cuss wid me now cause ja know seh exam time and like how i already feel bad right now is so not the right tiem to screw wid me
"tris"(girls only) i cant think stright says:
but i told u to stop doin that
"tris"(girls only) i cant think stright says:
and if ne one is doin ne screwin its u!
BØ¥©®ÅZ¥ Ïmmðçülåtë Kïttén~And now the story's ended so where's my prince charming and happily ever after? Running late? *SORRY* says:
wtf
BØ¥©®ÅZ¥ Ïmmðçülåtë Kïttén~And now the story's ended so where's my prince charming and happily ever after? Running late? *SORRY* says:
come now man, what the fuck is that supposed to mean
"tris"(girls only) i cant think stright says:
who was it that told u those things?
BØ¥©®ÅZ¥ Ïmmðçülåtë Kïttén~And now the story's ended so where's my prince charming and happily ever after? Running late? *SORRY* says:
i told you already that i wont fucking tell you and how di fuck you expect to be hostile to people and get information from them "if anyone is doing any screwing it's you"
BØ¥©®ÅZ¥ Ïmmðçülåtë Kïttén~And now the story's ended so where's my prince charming and happily ever after? Running late? *SORRY* says:
FUCK YOU man i dont have no fuckin time for this and here you were thinking that you'd be the one not talking to me
BØ¥©®ÅZ¥ Ïmmðçülåtë Kïttén~And now the story's ended so where's my prince charming and happily ever after? Running late? *SORRY* says:
jsut fuck off okay tristan
"tris"(girls only) i cant think stright says:
O.O
BØ¥©®ÅZ¥ Ïmmðçülåtë Kïttén~And now the story's ended so where's my prince charming and happily ever after? Running late? *SORRY* says:
oh so now when you mus say summin after yuh mouth was just so full of words you have nuttin to seh
BØ¥©®ÅZ¥ Ïmmðçülåtë Kïttén~And now the story's ended so where's my prince charming and happily ever after? Running late? *SORRY* says:
you are the biggest mystery i have ever encountered, how you gonna act nice one minute then be a complete asshole the next but whatever, i've learnt not to argue with idiots because they will bring you down to their level and beat you with experience
"tris"(girls only) i cant think stright says:
i wonder if it was amashika
BØ¥©®ÅZ¥ Ïmmðçülåtë Kïttén~And now the story's ended so where's my prince charming and happily ever after? Running... ]]> ~blackred-GlassRose http://blackred-GlassRose.deviantart.com/journal/9109317/ http://blackred-GlassRose.deviantart.com/journal/9109317/ Sun, 18 Jun 2006 20:25:13 PDT
Story of my life, searching for the right, but it avoiding me.
Sorrow in my song, because it seems that wrong, really loves my company.
He's more than a man, and this is more than love, the reason why the sky is blue.
The clouds are rollin in because I'm gone again and to him I just can't be true..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I don't know what the hell I'm doing..I dont know what I want anymore..Jeremy's screen name is so right "everything feels tempting when you don't know who to be"...If you hadn't guessed it already I've done something naughty..blah that sounds funny..okay..I've done something bad..

"One cannot control the vagaries of the heart" and now my heart is being stretched in different directions...blah I really really like someone else..since the other day I've liked them but I hadn't made any real attempts at flirting till last night and voila...today they tell me they like me...and I'm not talking about my boyfriend...

This guy and I are going out on a date..a date that I initiated...oh no...I really dont know what the hell I'm doing..I really like Tristan I do but damnit i like this guy alot too...my mind is in turmoil last night and instead of a night of peaceful dreams of tristan I had a night of dreams that made me toss and turn and wake up convered in sweat about this guy...and a few included Tristan..and in a bad way too..blah..This sucks...here I was thinking I've found happiness and the storm has passed when it was just the eye of the hurricane!!!

What am I going to do? Do i dump Tristan and try to advance with this guy or remember that I have a boyfriend and stop or remember that I have a boyfriend and be faithful but continue to flirt...or God forbid..try and have them both at the same time...I can't actually do that can I? I'm not that kinda person..Would it be hurtful to them both? Aaghh this is giving me a headache..why should this arise when I have exams and enough problems? Worse, Tristan is going away to America for summer and I'll be here in lotsa close contact with this guy..I don't trust myself i like him too much...I have to do something soon..but I dont wanna hurt anyone...

"I dont wanna be a murderer" another line from unfaithful...and here I was being afraid of being the one to get hurt in this new relationship when he was the one having faith and putting it all on the line..blah...goodnight folks..

My life really is that soap opera that's always on, lol

Thanks for reading, whether bored, interested for "sus"/gossip purposes or you really care, THANKS FOR READING!!!

~Aisha~
"I dreamed a dream in days gone by, when hope was high and life was worth living.
I dreamed that love would never die and that God would be forgiving.
But there are dreams that cannot be, my life now is so different from what it had then seemed.
Now...life has killed the dream I dreamed." ]]> ~blackred-GlassRose http://blackred-GlassRose.deviantart.com/journal/9050975/ http://blackred-GlassRose.deviantart.com/journal/9050975/ Mon, 12 Jun 2006 20:28:24 PDT I guess I'll just have to stick to my cramming in the morning before style..It's been working all these years so why stop now?

blah...so tired...I got like 3 hours of sleep last night, I was up on the phone with tristan then as i went to make a move for the bed I remembered my dum IT homework..i went to go do it and didnt save so the computer froze and I had to start over again form scratch..LAME!!!! Anywho...well I'm not sure It's deviation worthy..maybe I'll put it in my scraps but here is a little poem I wrote about and for tristan, he makes me so happy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Love is a Seven Letter Word

Tell me, what were you thinking when i fell into your arms? did you think i was a gift from heaven that caught you off gaurd?

Rolling over meadows of happiness, happier than i've been in a while because you're with me.
you found me when no one else was looking. how did you know where i'd be?

I was flying high on the winds of love, straight into the sun.
but i was blinded by the light, i never saw the shadow it caused, then decent begun.

Soon it melted my plastic wings, my world began to crash around me.
and when i thought i'd fallen past the point of no return, i got lifted by a saviour i didn't see.

Telling me you love me as you fasten on new wings;
making me believe in love again, here my newfound faith begins.

And now i'm smiling and laughing with real sincerity.
do you know what you've done by giving yourself to me?
after all this time, my prince charming has come for me, you're giving me the stability and care that i need.

Now i never want you to leave because you make me happy, i want you all to myself, i'm a selfish girl indeed.

if you read this and can't see how much i wan't and need you, read between the lines, look at the big word there. it's love, the love that i'm starting to believe...that you and i can share.

For: Tristan
From: Aisha(...well me duh..)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well he hasn't read it yet but I think he'll like it, the slightest things I do or say he finds sweet, lol happy happy

Okay i know Veronika the I's aren't capital and the beginnings of new lines and the stanzas are short but i typed it up that way for a reason...read the last stanza.......


guessed the answer?



well if you didn't...look for all the capital letters in the poem. lol

Well ferociouseggplant and I had a bet and now i have what's probably my second poem ever that is completely devoid of endrhymes, check it out it's my latest deviation.

Blah i'm falling asleep but i really needed to say this for some reason, well good night alls!! once again thanks for reading!!! Later

~Aisha~
"I dreamed a dream in days gone by when hope was high and life was worth living.
I dreamed that love would never die and that God would be forgiving.
But some dreams are not meant to be and my life now is so different from what it had then seemed.
Now...life has killed the dream I dreamed." ]]> ~blackred-GlassRose http://blackred-GlassRose.deviantart.com/journal/8982918/ http://blackred-GlassRose.deviantart.com/journal/8982918/ Mon, 05 Jun 2006 21:36:15 PDT
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"For My Friends"

This is for the three of you, i just had to say,
you'll be in my heart and memory forever but now i just want you to go away.
You're assholes like none I've ever met before,
But for me you hold this strange magnetic allure.
Maybe it's because you're different, so different from everyone else,
Why though you disgust me I stick around and let you continue to lower my value of self.
Just pack up, be even more like that stick up your ass and leave,
Maybe if i miss you in the distant future then i will grieve;
But for now i want and need you out of my life,
Good ridance, now i can end my sensless strife.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wasn't spiteful was it? god knows it wasn't meant to be -.-
Also the title of the journal entry is for you, if you cant understand it, then you're reading it upside down...

lol

Well life is going okay these day, matter of a fact it's going pretty good...my mum is still cting like she hates me but my new boyfriend and pretty good relationship with all my friends at the moment is making it not seem so bad. OMG here is a poem my boyfriend wrote for me...it's so sweet, thank you Tristan

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Looking Into the Moon"

When I look into the moon
Can you guess what I see?
Is it a boy, a girl?
Or is it my baby
Is it another pretty face?
Or just another girl
Oh what a sight of the moon I have
From this wonderful world

It is you I see in the moon’s face
Just the thought of you
Takes me to a crazy place
Where I can go and think of you all day long
Where I can forget my pains and troubles
And all my wrongs

When I look in to the moon
You know what I see
But what you don’t know
Is that I have faith
That we were meant to be


By: Tristan Thomas
Inspired by: Aisha Ricketts
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blah...i heard a song that made me cry tonight because of it's meaning for me...(blah..mariam and sarah yes a bit of emoness, just cause i know you miss it, lol )But right after I coincidentally got the poem from tristan over messenger so I felt better, here are the lyrics for the song:

"Pretty Girl (The Way)" by 'Sugarcult'

Pretty girl is suffering while he confesses everything
pretty soon she'll figure out what his intentions were about
And that's what you get for falling again
you can never get him out of your head
and that's what you get for falling again
you can never get him out of your head

it's the way that he makes you feel
it's the way that he kisses you
it's the way that he makes you fall in love

she's beautiful as usual with bruises on her ego and
her killer instinct tells her to be aware of evil men
and that's what you get for falling again
you can never get him out of your head
and that's what you get for falling again
you can never get him out of your head

it's the way that he makes you feel
it's the way that he kisses you
it's the way that he makes you fall in love...love....

pretty girl...
pretty girl...
pretty girl...
pretty girl...

pretty girl is suffering while he confesses everything
pretty soon she'll figure out
you can never get him out of your head
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yeah i suppose he'll still be there but now i don't care, a more charming act has taken centerstage on my broadway show. Get it Sarah? lol blah..inside joke you guys...anywho, that's life for now and you either really care or are really bored if you stopped to listen to it, Love ya either way http://blackred-GlassRose.deviantart.com/journal/8895921/ Sat, 27 May 2006 19:29:12 PDT 1. Unibrow (this is mariam's damn you..i've had it since 8th grade)
2. Unius *maximus* (the maximus is optional...this is sarah's)
3. Ai-chan (too obsessed with japan and anything japanese...this is what everyone in my lunch group at school calls me..)

3 Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1. Black mesh knickers with pink lace embroidered linings
(I was going out and whenever i do i wear lingerie)
2. Black and white horizontally striped house coat
3. A white wife beater that says: virgina beach spring.

3 Things You Want in a Relationship:
1. Honesty
2. Real love
3. Time

3 Things You Want Really Badly:
1. Leave this place..
2. My mother to just die or disappear...
3. Never to be alone..

3 pets you had/have:
1. Diplomat (my golden retriever, he got stabbed..)
2. Bobbet (another dog..this one's a rot wiler..got dognapped)
3. Sky (a poodle, yes another dog..a car knocked out his left eye so my parents took him away..)

3 Favorite Sports:
1. Soccer
2. Netball
3. Debating with nicky/beef/jeremy (you could break a sweat doing that!)

3 people who will fill this out:
1. Whoever
2. Wants
3. To

3 things you did last night:
1. Didn't go to sleep
2. Talked to Tristan on the phone
3. Pass out fro mlack of sleep..

3 Favorite Places to eat:
1. Pizza Hut
2. Burger King
3. KFC (really nobody does it better! lol )

3 people that live in your house:
1. Zungu Ragga/Goat (my sister zahra)
2. Mr. Moo/little terrorist (little brother Mukasa*spawn of satan*)
3. And myself

3 things people say are good about you:
1. My optimism
2. Easy smile and generally cheery personality
3. Social butterfly (great with people get along with most anyone)

3 things you ate today (All I ate today..)
1. Club Social
2. Mackrel and mashed potatoes
3. Water

3 people you Last Talked To:
1. Tristan
2. Michael
3. Jeremy

3 Things You're doing tomorrow:
1. Go to nicky's confirmation (yes I'm setting foot in a church)
2. Sit and brood about not getting to go anywhere cause my bitchy mum is trying to ruin my social life
3. Sing and listen to music

3 people that make you laugh:
1. Tris (tristan)
2. Scooby (scott)
3. Beef (Adrian)

3 Favorite Holidays:
1. Halloween
2. Christmas
3. Easter (bun and CHEESE! *its a jamaican thing*)

Hello I am bored..my mum wouldn't let me go to the movies today because she doesnt want me going out with boys (jeremy and michael *two people who techinically speaking don't count as boys*) even though janell and mariam were gonna be there. She is such an effin bitch! i hope you get to read this mum since you've taken up the habit of reading my DevArt stuff. She is afraid to let me around boys because she thinks I am going through what she calls my boyfriend phase then there's also the fact that she won't let me go anywhere in general these days and I told her i hate her because of it (this isnt an overnight thing, i've hated her for a long time andn ot just for this) and now i'm grounded AGAIN for the 2nd time this month. This month i went to exactly 3 places:
Sabria's birthday (she is my daughter *long story*)
Out to shop then to church with Nicky (She had to confess )
To watch Mission Impossible 3 with nicky, beef and zungo ragga. (how pathetic right?)

This is my mothers fault, i hate her. She's the reason i've wanted to run away from home since i was 7. She's one of the reasons suicide never seemed so bad...she's part of the reason i have no self value/worth and she is the reason i can be bitter, bitchy and selfish. I LEARNT FROM THE BEST! and the best always points out that along with being sarcastic, cynical, dark and anti-social, that's what I am.

Well i was crying earlier cause i really wanted to get out and i havent been anywhere in a while and i know that since i said i hate her..i wont be anywhere for a while. Ah being grounded is like so much fun!! *sarcasm* blah..this journal is kinda emo ish..lol yeah mariam i noticed.

Just thought i'd bemoan life's current happenings, later!

~Aisha~
"I dreamed a dream in day... ]]> ~blackred-GlassRose http://blackred-GlassRose.deviantart.com/journal/8879056/ http://blackred-GlassRose.deviantart.com/journal/8879056/ Thu, 25 May 2006 23:24:26 PDT ~blackred-GlassRose http://blackred-GlassRose.deviantart.com/journal/8867423/ http://blackred-GlassRose.deviantart.com/journal/8867423/ Wed, 24 May 2006 19:17:42 PDT
I KNEW IT I FUCKING KNEW IT ALL ALONG!!!!!!!!!!MARIAM YOU WERE THE ONE FROM THE START!!!!!!!!I WAS RIGHT!!!!!!!!!

I FUCKING HATE YOU GUYS..OH MY GOD...

That's unfair though isn't it? After all it is my own stupid fault right? I shouldn't have written them in the first place? Thanks for giving jeremy the heads up though, he gave me a heads up too, those things are nice i decided. Whenever you write something someone you dont want to see it always does!!!!

So i'm leaving deviant, expect all my deviations to be deleted in a couple of days...whenever i get the time....and i'm going to burn all my poetry note books too and i won't write anymore...it's like my power plug just blew now i don't have anyway of expressing myself or getting rid of negative energy.
To all my friends who'll miss me..you might have betrayed me too some day anyway and no mariam i'm not a fucking drama queen carrying on with bullshit! fuck you!

THANK YOU SO MUCH! I USED TO HAVE FUN USING DEVIANT!!!

~Aisha~ ]]> ~blackred-GlassRose http://blackred-GlassRose.deviantart.com/journal/8850899/ http://blackred-GlassRose.deviantart.com/journal/8850899/ Tue, 23 May 2006 02:52:05 PDT
You could wring nicky's shirt and get water from it with how many tears i've cried into it and i'm even more tired than before...and i can't sleep...i cant...I CAN'T SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm going to buy sleeping pills..We have no absolut vodka...will rum or smirnoff black work just as well? But what if when i fall into a coma that's all i can think about! My god help me...

I'm still crying...alot...why? Cause IMADUNCE according to him altleast..i'm going to go cry on nicky's shoulder some more now...or maybe go for a walk outside at 4:30 am in the morning..goodbye.

~Aisha~ It's always raining in my mind

"I'm dreaming of you, lying in a pool of your own blood, with your eyes gouged out by the work of my own thumbs. The scent of your blood from under the floorboards. The perfect perfume for settling the score." ]]> ~blackred-GlassRose http://blackred-GlassRose.deviantart.com/journal/8764454/ http://blackred-GlassRose.deviantart.com/journal/8764454/ Sun, 14 May 2006 01:32:25 PDT
This is for YOU

Is it still me that makes you sweat?
Am I who you think about in bed?
When the lights are dim and your hands are shaking as you're sliding off your pants?
Then think of what you did
And how I hope to God she was worth it.
When the lights are dim and your heart is racing as you're fingers touch your skin.
I've got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better fuck
Than any girl you'll ever meet, sweetie you had me
Boy I was it look past the sweat, a better love deserving of
Exchanging body heat in the passenger seat?
No, no, no you know it will always just be, me

Let's get these teen hearts beating. Faster, faster
So testosterone boys and harlequin girls
Will you dance to this beat, and hold a lover close?
So testosterone boys and harlequin girls
Will you dance to this beat, and hold a lover close?

So I guess we're back to us, oh cameraman, swing the focus
In case I lost my train of thought, where was it that we last left off?
(Let's pick up, pick up)

Oh now I do recall, we just were getting to the part
Where the shock sets in, and the stomach acid finds a new way to make me get sick.
I hope you didn't expect that you'd get all of the attention.
Now let's not get selfish
Did you really think I’d let you kill this chorus?

Let's get these teen hearts beating. Faster, faster
So testosterone boys and harlequin girls
Will you dance to this beat, and hold a lover close?
So testosterone boys and harlequin girls
Will you dance to this beat, and hold a lover close?

Dance to this beat
Dance to this beat
Dance to this beat

Let's get these teen hearts beating. Faster, faster
Let's get these teen hearts beating. Faster

I've got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better fuck
Than any boy you'll ever meet, sweetie you had me
Girl I was it look past the sweat, a better love deserving of
Exchanging body heat in the passenger seat?
No, no, no you know it will always just be, me

Let's get these teen hearts beating. Faster, faster
So testosterone boys and harlequin girls
Will you dance to this beat, and hold a lover close?
So testosterone boys and harlequin girls
Will you dance to this beat, and hold a lover close?

So testosterone boys and harlequin girls
Dance to this beat
So testosterone boys and harlequin girls
Dance to this beat
And hold a lover close
Let's get these teen hearts beating. Faster, faster
Let's get these teen hearts beating. Faster

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

No fucking comment if you know who i mean...or no damn obvious ones...heh heh..listen to my horoscope today when the ghost kept haunting me:

This infatuation seems overwhelming right now, but sit tight before you act. Is this simply an old pattern in a new disguise? Examine what's going on before you make a move. Believe it or not, this fog will lift.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That kinda scared me because it could really be an old pattern in a new disguise now that i think about it..and a pretty see through disguise too.. And i was planning on making a move based on this..i want to hurt someone and i want to make them feel the pain i felt..is that evil? that's what my poem "letter to God" is about..the ideal eft me but it's back with a new spin because of new insight...why am i like this now? Father really...i hope you forgive me...as for you you person..you devil in disguise..you black sheep, they always say:

Dont cry because it's over....Smile because it happened.

Well I wish it hadnt happened because then i would still be ridiculously happy, not so dark and we would still be like old times..and also if it hadn't happened then i wouldn't be crying because it's over now.

signed

~Aisha~

"I'm dreaming of you, lying in a pool of your own blood. With your eyes gouged out by the work of my own thumbs. The scent of your blood, from under the floorboards. The perfect perfume for settling the score." ]]> ~blackred-GlassRose http://blackred-GlassRose.deviantart.com/journal/8684905/ http://blackred-GlassRose.deviantart.com/journal/8684905/ Fri, 05 May 2006 18:55:52 PDT
I am feeling proud to say that i have like four guys lined up to be my new boyfriend..it's only a matter of days before i'm taken again, yes i am finally over jeremy! yeah i know took me long enough -.-

Anywho here's a song by the band from the manga named 'Lucifer' it's named "From a Fallen Angel"

~ ~*~ ~

From a Fallen Angel

I'm more than a man and i don't fear falling
I've fallen futher than your eyes can see
But something inside me, your body is caling
I'm tumbling toward you like a doom prophecy

I want you to run, want you to make me give chase
Beg for mercy when caught, tears staining your face
Then succumb to desire, see with eyes open wide
As i tear into your chest and slide deep inside
~ ~*~ ~

Poetry is it not? i think the author is truly talented the lyrics as so sexy! lol, anywho i'm listening to red blooded woman and writing more stuff oh yeah and talking to jeremy (the solitary person online on my messenger list of like 200) later!

signed Boycrazy Immaculate Kitten aka Aisha ]]> ~blackred-GlassRose http://blackred-GlassRose.deviantart.com/journal/8625371/ http://blackred-GlassRose.deviantart.com/journal/8625371/ Sat, 29 Apr 2006 21:17:41 PDT
Gosh i haven't been on deviant in forever..my friends i haven't forgotten you and i stil love you and forever will! i just havent been online in a while because life has gotten busy and hectic again...geez i really havent been on deviant in a while..weeks now i think. Anywho i still love you all but back to the original course of the journal entry..

Now, on one side of this bridge i'm on, it's dark and lit by artificial light but on the side that i'm headed to, the side i've almost reached, it's brigh daylight like a perfect spring or summer day. What does this mean? The other day i was depressed about everything and heartbroken and now i've gotten almost completely over the heartbreak, i have new love interests and i've started going out alot again!

School seems suckier each and every day and yet as if it's getting better? i dont understand myself..anyway, I've been feeling pretty great these days and thought my well wishers might like to know, i am very happy and don't give a damn about certain and certian induviduals you know but will remain unnamed. So...umm..i dunno..i've been wanting to write this for a while just to let you know i'm feeling infinitely better and super happy and that i've regained my zest for life, love ad chasing boys, lol and i'm super happy again,

I'm so glad to be back, feels good to be back in my pimpette, boycrazy, no care in the world skin, later people!

Signed

~Aisha~

"I'm dreaming of you lying in a pool of your own blood, with your eyes gouged out by the work of my thumbs. The scent of your blood from under the floorboards, the perfect perfume for settling the score" ]]> ~blackred-GlassRose http://blackred-GlassRose.deviantart.com/journal/8467528/ http://blackred-GlassRose.deviantart.com/journal/8467528/ Fri, 14 Apr 2006 09:21:43 PDT
I have some friends that i don't really think are friends at all, sure friends annoy each other and piss each other off but is the person or are the persons still friends when that's pretty much all they do to you? Friends or parasites that have grown on you that you're enduring? I can't stand them..of all the fake people who'd love to say they were my friends or not, just the ones who say they are..i hate these ones the most..

Why am i on deviant? Does anybody even read my journal...i suppose seeing as i dont tell people about my deviant and dont really care about it explains why i have so little page views, lol. Does anybody even like my work? WOULD SOMEBODY LEAVE A COMMENT? not just on this but on my works in general...stop reading then leaving or looking then leaving, leave a fuckin comment! And people keep saying they love it..the ones who DO review...so why havent they faved it. I suck so much...i have no talent i don't know why i'm on this website...tee hee it says i'm subscribed until the 21st of this month. SO, i guess thery'll be no more me on deviantArt, not that i'll be missed really but still..

I've gotten so used to being depressed now...it's like routine to not care about anything...I don't even care about mariam's bullshit about how i only go over jeremy's house on sundays so i can see him and everybody else's crap about how the depression is jeremy induced...God...you people read my poems and see sides of me you never knew and still think you can read me like a fuckin open book. You dumasses need your glasses corrected...

Who is reading my journal and spreading it on the gossip network? Better yet who's reading it and telling people who obviously arent supposed to know about it. I have my suspicions but nothings for sure, if i find out though it means fuckin war...

LOL. ROFL. I was told that people think i'm stalking Domz the chic that Jeremy is in love with, WTF? No who the fuck said that? Why the hell would i be STALKING the fricken girl, if i liked jeremy still it wouldn't bring him back...matter of a fact he'd probably be relieved to be rid of the wierdo girl who stalks the girl he likes. If Domz thinks i'm stalking her she needs to get over herself and anybody who said it, yeah i dunno who said it, but yeah when i find out it means war, i mean who the fuck are you to say that. I'm sorry, i'll get a transfer so i dont go to the same fricken school as her and then i wont be in the same lunch group right beside hers, will you feel confident that i'm not stalking her then?

God some people as such assholes...I'm not even saying this with any zest..it's like i'm not even pissed..but then again...depression is just anger without enthusiasm.. well i'm done, i really can't be fuckin bothered..just thought i'd tell whoever happens to read this shit. Later.

]]> ~blackred-GlassRose http://blackred-GlassRose.deviantart.com/journal/8344395/ http://blackred-GlassRose.deviantart.com/journal/8344395/ Sun, 02 Apr 2006 14:29:34 PDT
Well..we're friends again, best friends again...i decided that us getting together was a mistake and i can't let it ruin our great friendship (which is why i didn't tell him i liked him in the first place). But yeah...we're cool now and it's Sunday and i'm here again doing math -.-

I didn't want to talk to him again because it really is easier to run...to replace the pain with something numb....but now that i've replaced the pain with something numb..i'm telling myself that i really don't care and that i don't love him and i'm delusioned. So now i can act as though i don't care...which i'm slowly...maybe not surely but slowly beginning to think i really dont. He really is sorry which makes me feel better and as far as i know now, because living in fantasy land really is better than reality...jeremy and i never were together and we were always best friends..in which case i would've still had a crush on him i suppose but i would've never told him i guess...so even if i still like him now, in the story of my life the chapter about him is over.

P.S. Whoever the fuck reading my bomboclaat journal and reporting to jermey seh i writing tings bout him pan the internet den fuckin report dis to him too. It's none of your fucking business in the first place so i don't know why the fuck you, whoever you are, told him. but from me to you FUCK YOU!!!

Signed
It's used to rain in my mind but now i've become so numb and cold that it's begun to hail

aka

Aisha ]]> ~blackred-GlassRose