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        <title>deviantART: by:bowrll</title>
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        <pubDate>Sun, 06 Dec 2009 02:51:25 PST</pubDate>        
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                  <item>
                <title>MOVED</title>
                <link>http://bowrll.deviantart.com/journal/21414014/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://bowrll.deviantart.com/journal/21414014/</guid>
                <pubDate>Mon, 10 Nov 2008 00:07:36 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ I have moved to <a href="http://armlessandharmless.deviantart.com/"><img class="avatar" src="http://a.deviantart.com/avatars/a/r/armlessandharmless.gif?1" width="50" height="50" alt=":iconarmlessandharmless:" title="armlessandharmless"/></a><br /><br />it will be mostly furry art.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~bowrll</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>OMFG I'M GONNA MAKE A SWEETASS JOURNAL</title>
                <link>http://bowrll.deviantart.com/journal/12289009/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://bowrll.deviantart.com/journal/12289009/</guid>
                <pubDate>Thu, 22 Mar 2007 19:43:29 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ OMFG<br />
<br />
I never really did anything with the journal.  I'm gonna make a perma journal thing so people can know more about me ^_^<br />
<br />
<br />
My name is Allison.  I'm a full time student at Edinboro University.  I love snakes but I have BAD LUCK WITH THEM ESCAPING so I'm gonna wait till I get a house before I get another one.  <br />
<br />
HOMG THATS ALL THERE IS TO KNOW ABOUT ME<br />
<br />
I LOVE MAPLE ITS ALL I DO<br />
<br />
I AM AN ANIMATION MAJOR<br />
<br />
I LIKE CUTE THINGS<br />
<br />
MY CLOSE FRIENDS:<br />
<br />
<a href="http://introducingemy.deviantart.com/"><img class="avatar" src="http://a.deviantart.com/avatars/i/n/introducingemy.gif" width="50" height="50" alt="" title="introducingemy" /></a> <a href="http://reikosazanami.deviantart.com/"><img class="avatar" src="http://a.deviantart.com/avatars/r/e/reikosazanami.gif" width="50" height="50" alt="" title="reikosazanami" /></a> <a href="http://lunrsilvreclips.deviantart.com/"><img class="avatar" src="http://a.deviantart.com/avatars/l/u/lunrsilvreclips.jpg" width="50" height="50" alt="" title="lunrsilvreclips" /></a><br />
<br />
<br />
PEOPLE I WORSHIP:<br />
<br />
<a href="http://caramitten.deviantart.com/"><img class="avatar" src="http://a.deviantart.com/avatars/c/a/caramitten.jpg" width="50" height="50" alt="" title="caramitten" /></a> <a href="http://hellcorpceo.deviantart.com/"><img class="avatar" src="http://a.deviantart.com/avatars/h/e/hellcorpceo.gif" width="50" height="50" alt="" title="hellcorpceo" /></a>  <a href="http://probertson.deviantart.com/"><img class="avatar" src="http://a.deviantart.com/avatars/p/r/probertson.gif" width="50" height="50" alt="" title="probertson" /></a> <a href="http://pr0stsh0cker.deviantart.com/"><img class="avatar" src="http://a.deviantart.com/avatars/p/r/pr0stsh0cker.gif" width="50" height="50" alt="" title="pr0stsh0cker" /></a><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
WOOT!<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~bowrll</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Hey everyone</title>
                <link>http://bowrll.deviantart.com/journal/11877608/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://bowrll.deviantart.com/journal/11877608/</guid>
                <pubDate>Mon, 19 Feb 2007 06:26:53 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Sorry I hate updating this.  I update my livejournal more often. I was getting tired of seeing that little chainsaw guy. ;o<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~bowrll</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Kill The Rock!</title>
                <link>http://bowrll.deviantart.com/journal/7185014/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://bowrll.deviantart.com/journal/7185014/</guid>
                <pubDate>Wed, 30 Nov 2005 11:43:42 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ well, i've decided what song i'm going to use for my animation final. Mindless Self-Indulgence - Kill The Rock.  i'm going to be using the beginning 8 seconds of the song. i think it'll be A OK. i hope it's awesome! so excited! i hope to get a lot of it accomplished tonight. i'll definately post what i have done.  Not that anyone reads these. -____-;;; BUT STILL. it will be AWESOME. <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/c/chainsaw.gif" width="49" height="20" alt=":chainsaw:" title="Chainsaw" /> ]]></description>
                <author>~bowrll</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>wow.</title>
                <link>http://bowrll.deviantart.com/journal/6744448/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://bowrll.deviantart.com/journal/6744448/</guid>
                <pubDate>Tue, 11 Oct 2005 23:54:46 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ a lot of new stuff i put out today. it's called, FUN WITH FLASH. i haven't had flash in so long, and i missed it. i'm super hungry, kind of angry, a little depressed, mostly lonely. i need a hug! if anyone wants to hug me, you're welcome to.... o.o ]]></description>
                <author>~bowrll</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>sexiness</title>
                <link>http://bowrll.deviantart.com/journal/6577426/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://bowrll.deviantart.com/journal/6577426/</guid>
                <pubDate>Thu, 22 Sep 2005 22:18:49 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ The bass, the rock<br />
The mic, the treble<br />
I like my coffee black<br />
Just like my metal<br />
<br />
The bass, the rock<br />
The mic, the treble<br />
I like my coffee black<br />
Just like my metal<br />
<br />
I can't wait for you to knock me up<br />
In a minute, minute<br />
In a fuckin' minute<br />
<br />
I can't wait for you to knock me up<br />
In a minute, minute<br />
In a second<br />
<br />
I can't wait for you to shut me up<br />
And make me hip like badass<br />
I can't wait for you to shut me up<br />
Shut it up<br />
<br />
I can't wait for you to shut me up<br />
And make me hip like badass<br />
I can't wait for you to shut me up<br />
Shut it up<br />
<br />
The bass, the rock<br />
The mic, the treble<br />
I like my coffee black<br />
Just like my metal<br />
<br />
The bass, the rock<br />
The mic, the treble<br />
I like my coffee black<br />
Just like my metal<br />
<br />
I can't wait for you to knock me up<br />
In a minute, minute<br />
In a fucking minute<br />
<br />
I can't wait for you to knock me up<br />
In a minute, minute<br />
In a second<br />
<br />
I can't wait for you to shut me up<br />
And make me hip like badass<br />
I can't wait for you to shut me up<br />
Shut it up<br />
<br />
I can't wait for you to shut me up<br />
And make me hip like badass<br />
I can't wait for you to shut me up<br />
Shut it up<br />
<br />
I don't buy your body right now (right now)<br />
I'm almost over my body right now (now)<br />
I'm on my way to the party right now (right now)<br />
<br />
I don't buy your body right now (right now)<br />
I'm almost over my body right now (now)<br />
I'm on my way to the party right now (right now)<br />
<br />
Because the break, the break, the break<br />
<br />
I can't wait for you to shut me up<br />
And make me hip like badass<br />
I can't wait for you to shut me up<br />
Shut it up<br />
<br />
I can't wait for you to shut me up<br />
And make me hip like badass<br />
I can't wait for you to shut me up<br />
Shut it up<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
New MSI video. directed by Jhonen. look for the seal puppet. Raw. ]]></description>
                <author>~bowrll</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>wo wo wo</title>
                <link>http://bowrll.deviantart.com/journal/6487525/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://bowrll.deviantart.com/journal/6487525/</guid>
                <pubDate>Mon, 12 Sep 2005 16:54:06 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ you're about to journey into the mind of a psychopath killa<br />
blood spilla, mentality much illa than you could ever imagine in your wildest dreams<br />
you'll feel his pain and his silent screams<br />
<br />
-d12<br />
American Psycho.<br />
<br />
<br />
I've been feeling quite psycho lately.  happy and yet.....?  clinging on to the past. and that's all it is: THE PAST. i need to cut it off. i don't need it in my life anymore. i never did. all this bullshit. why is it so hard to cut off? why can't i just ignore it? i'm just as immature as the next person.. craving attention, needing to feel wanted.  i hate myself sometimes, because of my selfishness, i hurt others. everyone else. EVERYONE. i need some time. ]]></description>
                <author>~bowrll</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>wow.</title>
                <link>http://bowrll.deviantart.com/journal/6346373/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://bowrll.deviantart.com/journal/6346373/</guid>
                <pubDate>Sat, 27 Aug 2005 22:13:21 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ so much happened in the last... 3 weeks it's almost unmentionable.  I'm back at the boro again, *YAY*  and it's great so far.  nothing much to update on the artstatus.. just been a little more inspired than usual... and happy. i've actually been content, happy, all those feelings i never thought i'd feel. i can fall asleep smiling.. but missing!<br />
always missing you.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
slurp. ]]></description>
                <author>~bowrll</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>can't shake him!</title>
                <link>http://bowrll.deviantart.com/journal/5406915/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://bowrll.deviantart.com/journal/5406915/</guid>
                <pubDate>Fri, 20 May 2005 10:08:19 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ i just finished watching A New Hope  with my brothers. i was chillin' with  Aaron Simon and Brandon earlier.   wooooo! finally, i got to see star wars  III, after waiting forever.  me and the  gang showed up at the theatre at 3:00,  and dave was waiting there, with his  baby chick face. it was great. ha. i  wish erin and dave didn't fight so  much, it makes me cwy. <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/c/cry.gif" width="15" height="15" alt=":'(" title="Crying" />  haha. anyway,  i had a really good time waiting in  line. mostly i was just doodling in  this tiny little pad i have. speaking  of that thing, i should scan my doodz.   they weren't that bad, expecially my  beetlejuice one, which was basically a  copy of the icon i made, since i  haven't really studied him that much to  draw him in different poses and stuff.  i kind of just winged it.  Hot 101 was  there, covering the ACTION, and dave  was being an arse, as usual.  i also  got my picture on the front page of the  shitty local newspaper, which is better  than nothing. at least its not that  weird SHaron Optical ad my dad puts in  on every holiday. i guess now it's in  the phone book. oh, YAY. >___<  anyway.  i've been listening to the beetlejuice  theme all day today. i haven't really  been inspired that much, except for the  awesome lizard runny things that Obi  Wan was riding in the movie, that went,  wwwooooOOORp!  woooOOOORP!  they were  hot.  yeah, and i wanna bone grievous,  cuz he's friggin awesome. sooooo.....  *bored*  i guess i'll leave y'all  alone. no one really reads these things  anyway. <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/w/wink.gif" width="15" height="15" alt=";)" title=";) (Wink)" /> hhhokay, peace out.<br />
<br />
ok so i finally figured this out: <br />
<br />
<a href="http://freakafans.deviantart.com/"><img class="avatar" src="http://a.deviantart.com/avatars/f/r/freakafans.gif" width="50" height="50" alt="" title="freakafans" /></a> <a href="http://beetlejuice-club.deviantart.com/"><img class="avatar" src="http://a.deviantart.com/avatars/b/e/beetlejuice-club.png" width="50" height="50" alt="" title="beetlejuice-club" /></a> ]]></description>
                <author>~bowrll</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>oh, man.</title>
                <link>http://bowrll.deviantart.com/journal/5134202/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://bowrll.deviantart.com/journal/5134202/</guid>
                <pubDate>Tue, 19 Apr 2005 21:25:18 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ i've really got to thinking.. there was  this girl that graduated from my high  school, named Brittney Lee. now this  girl, she's a fucking artistic genius,  better than anyone i know. in her  fucking freshman year of college she  got a film in a film festval, and you  know what? i saw the film, and it was  amazing. finishing my freshman year  now, i can't understand how she did it.  she had the same high school education  as me.. how the hell did she know so  much? about timing and so forth? that's  not the bad part. the worst part is  she's a genius in acting,  music and  mathematics too. i honestly HONESTLY  can say i wish she were ran over by a  bus.  well maybe not, but like, had her  hand chewed off by a boar so all she  had going for her was, everything else  but drawing.  nah, she would like  invent something so she could still  beat everyone at EVERYTHING.  she  always designed EVERYTHING at my  school.  then when  she graduated, i  was so relieved. i remember, i wax  slike, yes, i have a chance to design  the choir t-shirts!  so our next choir  idea presented to us was two tigers  walking side by side. the theme was  "you'll never walk alone."  i drew two  tigers (animals are my specialty, i  suppose) and i thought the design was  great, i even ran it by enoch and  lainey. (teacher at my school and  another gifted art whiz) and they were  all for it.  so i presented it to mr.  ellenberger, and what does he say? it's  too cutesy, the boys won't want to wear  it, and it makes him want to throw up.  well at this point i am about to cry  but smiling, trying to agree with him  (fucking moron)  i have to bear wearing  a t-shirt that isn't my design, and  ended up being drawn by who i knew was  going to win anyway.  i mean, the  design was great.. the tigers were  cute, a little disney-ish for my taste,  but they worked. of course.... i should  never have even tried. or at least that  was my outlook. so from then on i left  the t-shirt designs to someone (1  person) else.  but why am i talking  about that? back to brittney. yeah, i  had a favorite teacher in sharon:  enoch. he was the coolest. till i  realized i ddin't even matter. i  thought he thought my stuff was great,  but i bet he doens't even remember me.  it makes me want to cry, i loved him so  much. but *sigh* other emerging  artists, and even people who didn't  "do" art became his new favorite  students. so now my fave teachers from  sharon are mrs. tammy badger  and mr.  chris anderson.  now, one more of the  reasons i stopped liking enoch was  because of how he talked about  brittney. like she was leonardo da  vinci or something. i mean yeah, who  wasn't jealous of her at my school but  i'm sure tehre were others better than  her.. (>_&lt<img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/w/wink.gif" width="15" height="15" alt=";)" title=";) (Wink)" /> i am so jealous you can tell.  i was hoping she'd have a deviantart  account or some sort of website, but i  couldnt find any. i'm so glad to be  away from sharon. now i can do my own  thing, and maybe if i'm lucky i'll get  to animate some dinosaurs.  who makes  such a great fucking film their  freshman year anyway!??!?!? grumble..... ]]></description>
                <author>~bowrll</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>what is so great about them?</title>
                <link>http://bowrll.deviantart.com/journal/4950429/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://bowrll.deviantart.com/journal/4950429/</guid>
                <pubDate>Wed, 30 Mar 2005 08:17:38 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ what is so great about wolves and  lions?  i mean yeah.. ooo wolf, lonely  and broken, vicious, bla bla bla.  Lions, LION KING.<br />
<br />
but... wanna know some really GREAT  animals?<br />
<br />
Chinchillas!  So fluffy and innocent!<br />
Snakes!  The perfect animal, in my  opinion<br />
Bats!  the cutest things on EARTH.   Flying Foxes = Love<br />
Tarantulas!  Yes, they are animals.   and they make me smile.<br />
Millipedes!  Also are animals.. my  favorite bug when i was little.<br />
Kangaroos!  One of my all time faves XD<br />
Ring-Tailed Lemurs!  I love these  things.  they are so precious.<br />
Parrots!  Really really smart animals  :-P<br />
Narwhals!  Really, weird unicorn  whale.. things...<br />
Lampreys!  If you want sick and  disgusting, this is your animal.<br />
<br />
and of course, the greatest living  creatures ever to walk the planet....<br />
<br />
Dinosaurs!<br />
<br />
not only raptors, but ALL dinosaurs  have a special place in my heart.  who  could turn their back on a  compsognathus or struthiomimus? And  don't forget Coelophysis!  i'm guessing  on the spelling from what i remember  from 6th grade, lol.  WELL!  there you  have it.  cool animals that should be  more looked into. ]]></description>
                <author>~bowrll</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>ok fluffs!</title>
                <link>http://bowrll.deviantart.com/journal/4946323/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://bowrll.deviantart.com/journal/4946323/</guid>
                <pubDate>Tue, 29 Mar 2005 19:01:49 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ i miss rum, my cat.  i miss him a lot.   I am exhausted as all hell.  My  "kiriban" that wasn't even a real thing  passed.  sigh.. i'd do requests for ppl  but no one knows me or looks at my page  or WANTS them.  i know sometimes i look  at other people's art especially on  Oekakis, and i'd only ask for a request  if their art is better than mine.  so i  guess i'm screwed for a while.  cuz  mine suckssssssssssssssssssss.<br />
<br />
anyways, i'm complaining to Sam right  now.  i think i listened to a  ...unmentionable CD all day.   sleepingwithghosts...and  blackmarketmusic.<br />
<br />
black market music is my favorite one.   i love all songs but 2.<br />
<br />
now i'm listening to The Lost World  Jurassic Park for PS1 soundtrack game  music whatevah.  and i've been drawing  all day.  It's sad... i'll draw and  draw and draw and then have no time for  anything else <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/c/cry.gif" width="15" height="15" alt=":'(" title="Crying" /><br />
<br />
anyway i think i'm actually gonna go to  bed now.  YES.<br />
nighty night peoples!<br />
<br />
and if ANYONE has any requests or  anything, just tell me! <br />
<br />
ha. ]]></description>
                <author>~bowrll</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>hahaaaa</title>
                <link>http://bowrll.deviantart.com/journal/4891521/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://bowrll.deviantart.com/journal/4891521/</guid>
                <pubDate>Wed, 23 Mar 2005 14:09:36 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ hey i think i'm going to try one of  those kiriban things, and i'm going to  make it soon since i hardly get any  hits.<br />
<br />
how does 411 sound?  that's my  birthday!<br />
<br />
i don't really know how these things  work, but actually.....<br />
<br />
i'd draw something for someone anyway  even if they didn't get it.<br />
<br />
ha......................<br />
<br />
ok.<br />
<br />
yeah. ]]></description>
                <author>~bowrll</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>hey everyone!</title>
                <link>http://bowrll.deviantart.com/journal/4405016/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://bowrll.deviantart.com/journal/4405016/</guid>
                <pubDate>Mon, 24 Jan 2005 17:30:30 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ i'm sitting in the computer lab next to  nikki.  it's not really that exciting.   here are some conversation pieces. <br />
<br />
xx imacomputa xx: g!<br />
xx imacomputa xx: haha<br />
xx imacomputa xx: i mean Keg<br />
keg790: yes<br />
xx imacomputa xx: whats up<br />
xx imacomputa xx: home stinks<br />
keg790: why are you at home<br />
xx imacomputa xx: i'mnot<br />
keg790: then whyd you say home stinks<br />
xx imacomputa xx: i was calling you a  home-stinks<br />
xx imacomputa xx: like home-boy<br />
keg790: thanks<br />
xx imacomputa xx: you're welcome<br />
keg790: anytime<br />
<br />
<br />
xx imacomputa xx: i think nikki is  passing gas<br />
bubblybabe8604: fine<br />
bubblybabe8604: stinks<br />
bubblybabe8604: ahha<br />
xx imacomputa xx: seee?<br />
sexybabygrl068: lol<br />
bubblybabe8604: suckies!<br />
chaq2008: suckies<br />
xx imacomputa xx: ha ha haha<br />
xx imacomputa xx: suckies<br />
xx imacomputa xx: ahh amanda you have  to sniff it<br />
bubblybabe8604: aaah<br />
bubblybabe8604: ahha<br />
bubblybabe8604: amanda ate it<br />
chaq2008: haha<br />
sexybabygrl068: nooooo<br />
xx imacomputa xx: haha<br />
sexybabygrl068: suckies!<br />
xx imacomputa xx: i'll take one for the  team, amanda<br />
<br />
xx imacomputa xx: remember  treeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeee<br />
secondrateemily: yes XD<br />
secondrateemily: did you see bones?<br />
xx imacomputa xx: hehe tha was funny<br />
secondrateemily: <br />
xx imacomputa xx: yes<br />
secondrateemily: i wanted to do a  little sketchypoo<br />
xx imacomputa xx: it'snot like you to  make normal faces<br />
secondrateemily: put your fox and fish  on dA<br />
secondrateemily: what?<br />
xx imacomputa xx: you think?<br />
secondrateemily: normal faces?<br />
<br />
<br />
ha ha can you tell i'm bored? i kind of  just want to post over that depressing  rant i've had there for a while.  i  discovered a bump on my neck! <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/e/eek.gif" width="15" height="15" alt=":-O" title=":-O (Eek)" />  it's  distressing >_<  well ttyl home-stinks! ]]></description>
                <author>~bowrll</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>heartbroken and hurt</title>
                <link>http://bowrll.deviantart.com/journal/4322969/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://bowrll.deviantart.com/journal/4322969/</guid>
                <pubDate>Fri, 14 Jan 2005 22:41:27 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ today has been the worst day of my  life... i've never been more  confused,one of my friends transferred  to edinboro, and has been at my dorm  almost everyday this week.. he makes me  laugh and teases me, it's a real blast  to hang out with him.  my boyfriend  doesn't think so, however.  everything  has been upside down, and to make  matters worse, i've started missing  josh again. yes folks, the infamous  josh, that i ..actually never wrote  about.  anyway, he was an interest of  mine for a while, infatuation even, and  things got all screwed up with me and  my boyfriend, til me and josh settled  it and decided to be friends.  I miss  his sincerity and open arms and open  ears..  it's not something one comes by  often.  This whole time i've been to  edinboro i get the feeling i haven't  made a single friend, or anyone who  really cares about me.  I've been  really really lonely and confused  lately, and i've been crying more  often.. Today my room mate announced  that she was moving out.  she smiled at  me and said,<br />
<br />
"nothing personal, you're just too  messy."<br />
<br />
to this i would like to quote from a  Killers song.<br />
<br />
Smile Like You Mean It. <br />
<br />
 Yes ashley, smile like you mean it.   you've been lying with your eyes the  whole time we've been roommates.  now  the room will be empty and barren, just  like my heart.  I'm so hurt and broken  from what you did.    <br />
<br />
<br />
GOD  i walked home from brandons, and  part of me wished Josh was here so i  could just break down and know someone  would really listen.  I don't know what  to do.  i've never felt more hurt in my  life... i just want to go somewhere.   honestly, i really fucking need to see  aaron because he's the only one  smiling, and the only one who can  really make me laugh.  Besides Napoleon  Dynamite.<br />
<br />
Brandon has been so wrapped up in his  "friends or not friends?"  to notice  that i'm really hurting, although i  have an incredible knack for hurting  other people and not really realizing  it.  i feel so fucking broken i just  want to run and run and run and go  somewhere where no one knows me, and  "Mr. Brightside" by The Killers will be  playing the whole time.  I wish i  wasn't here, i wish i could be  somewhere, anywhere else but here.  I  wish i really knew what true love is,  and if i've found it or not.  i wish i  knew why i simply love hanging out with  aaron even though i could never picture  or really want to do anything with him,  and i want to know why i hurt brandon  in the first place to make him not  trust me.  I've ruined everying in my  life, everything is MY fault.. my lack  of discipline, my selfishness, my  greed... I've ruined everything i  have... i have no friends left... the  one i valued the most a few months ago  is out of my life almost completely,  even though he is not out of my mind.   that kind of stuff does that to you,  you know?  No matter what, memories  always come back to haunt you.   Unfortuantely, i know if brandon ever  read this it would hurt him again.  I  just can't stand it, i have to get this  off my chest, it's heavy enough as it  is. (ack!)<br />
<br />
sigh,  there might be one person who  reads this for sure, and i know it's  emily.  Emily if you do read this,  thanks.  <br />
<br />
I just wish i knew what i wanted with  my life.<br />
<br />
I just want to be happy<br />
<br />
And that seems to never come my way  anymore... I thought things would get  better, but they've only gotten worse  and more painful.. I've been crying on  and off all day.<br />
<br />
I guess i'll go now...<br />
<br />
<br />
Allison ]]></description>
                <author>~bowrll</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>YYEAAARRRGH</title>
                <link>http://bowrll.deviantart.com/journal/4274172/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://bowrll.deviantart.com/journal/4274172/</guid>
                <pubDate>Sat, 08 Jan 2005 23:51:40 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ tomorrow marks the last day of vacation <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/c/cry.gif" width="15" height="15" alt=":'(" title="Crying" />  sniffle sniffle sniff sniff<br />
<br />
i really want to go to a band show but  i honestly don't see that happenin.   today was fun, i discovered that  brandon exceedingly loathes when i put  my mouth around his nipple and breathe  on it.  strange.  my throat hurts SO  BAD!  I'm surprised, brandon and rob  made up and are now friends again.   stinklies.  ah well, time for bed.  ha  ha... yeah right.. bed... pfft. ]]></description>
                <author>~bowrll</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>aughfffpppt</title>
                <link>http://bowrll.deviantart.com/journal/4085241/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://bowrll.deviantart.com/journal/4085241/</guid>
                <pubDate>Fri, 17 Dec 2004 01:56:34 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ i'm exhausted, it's five am.  i  putzkied around so much i got nothing  done.  lol. that's new to... who? yeah  i really need to break these horrible  habits.  i've been oekaki'ng for like 3  hours now, and nothing has come out of  it.  sigh.  psych final tomorrow...  wish me luck! ]]></description>
                <author>~bowrll</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>..</title>
                <link>http://bowrll.deviantart.com/journal/3860258/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://bowrll.deviantart.com/journal/3860258/</guid>
                <pubDate>Wed, 17 Nov 2004 19:15:54 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ and i, i won't lie, i won't sin...  maybe i don't wanna go... can't you  wait?  maybe i don't wanna go...<br />
<br />
I'm about to fall over from exhaustion.<br />
<br />
I have to clean the room and study.  <br />
And i wanted to read a little fruits  basket too, but.. *sigh*<br />
<br />
Thats not going to happen.  I don't  even know if i have anything due  tomorrow... all i know is I have an  exam in Art History, my worst  subject... so.. adios! ]]></description>
                <author>~bowrll</author>
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