http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:breakingsilence&section=today deviantART RSS for by:breakingsilence en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Sun, 06 Dec 2009 01:34:55 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://breakingsilence.deviantart.com/journal/19758418/ http://breakingsilence.deviantart.com/journal/19758418/ Sun, 03 Aug 2008 19:15:45 PDT the only things i can rely on:

there is no changing me
not this girl, love.
all that needs to be, will be
only
by
me.
i will be involved as much
or
as little
as i wish
you have no control
remember that.

i will laugh with whomever.
breathe with whomever.
kiss, touch, feel, fuck
with whomever
there is no other

i will love
you.
like no
other
funny how we do the same
lead
and be led

i think of
black and red
hard and heavy
loud and safe

i think of
afflicting blood
i think of
nothing

what i have to offer is
like
no other/
is true and honest
imagine that.

more than you
or anyone
could ever comprehend

i am
intense

i am
interrupted

something pure
find it out

]]> ~breakingsilence http://breakingsilence.deviantart.com/journal/16656878/ http://breakingsilence.deviantart.com/journal/16656878/ Thu, 31 Jan 2008 10:29:40 PST i told you something
did the other
and my brain is set on idle.
..
...
i thought to myself in pictures

finger dug hard into my eye
reaching for sight. for blood. for blind.

teeth clinched heavy heavy heavy
deep into my tongue
waiting for metal
for blood. for taste.

..
back to idle
slow it down
fall asleep but not to dream
not to rest.. or feel fresh

i have only one hour
one day
one life
and im what?

yes, yes wasting it away

back to idle
slower now

my hands sink into my chest
feel for something red
feel for something heavy, beating
something raw
something bleeding
rip rip rip it out

mind set
mind read
mind fucked
mind dead

bleed it out
back to idle

funny isnt it?

]]> ~breakingsilence http://breakingsilence.deviantart.com/journal/3594518/ http://breakingsilence.deviantart.com/journal/3594518/ Fri, 15 Oct 2004 07:43:05 PDT

all i need is a true sense. because im sick of being honest.
my heart pounds and pounds at an instant thought. a trace that leads me to a thousand memories. all of which hold your name. and yes, i am guilty of getting lost in them. because my mind is tainted with those thoughts.
and id beg for mercy if i thought mercy was what i needed. its clear to me now, that its not. because if i gravel any longer on these concrete stairs my limbs might choose not to move and id be stuck there, floating. and in mid-air you dont have much control over anything. i know this, because ive been there before. and all i did was feel an impact so hard i could not breathe, let alone move. and there i lay, motionless once again. im not willing to take that chance.
so in fragments ill write what im thinking. and its at this moment that i am focused. yes my heart is still beating, yes my thoughts are still racing. but im silenced and still.
youre indecisive and its killing us both. because im just as stubborn as you and look at where we are. how long has it been? when was the last time? i never said that. why? because i never felt that. harsh? no, because i felt more.



---------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------


this is me caught in the moment
this is me holding tight
i have no choice but to lose control
and i will because of who i am
i will because of what i feel.
time is only distance now

just like its always been. ]]> ~breakingsilence http://breakingsilence.deviantart.com/journal/3594508/ http://breakingsilence.deviantart.com/journal/3594508/ Fri, 15 Oct 2004 07:41:34 PDT
i havent stopped gasping

and the sight of a nonexsitant life

is getting hard to swallow down

i think i think i think

and i might have to do something soon

because all that surrounds me now

are crummy walls that only blocking the view of my dreams

and i cant stand the image any longer

so what if i lose my thought

or choke on those words

those words that hold me up

and let me down

cuz god only knows im hiding so much

and my lack of morals has got me this far anyway

i watch her as she falls into this pattern

this realm of hurt and anger

i try to fall with her, but its obvious i cant

im trying to pick her up

but we wait until shes reachable again

wait and wait and wait

until i just grab for her whole world

and take it all with me

because no ones getting left alone ]]> ~breakingsilence http://breakingsilence.deviantart.com/journal/3594499/ http://breakingsilence.deviantart.com/journal/3594499/ Fri, 15 Oct 2004 07:40:49 PDT
in a passion i can hardly speak

my thoughts are racing

my heart is throbbing

to know youre around me somewhere

in a place where nothing is clear

and no one feels the same.

your breath i am breathing

and your words i am hearing

your steps im walking

but in circles of restlessness

that maybe here, we'll bump arms

or touch hearts

while my hands are going crazy

my eyes feel what they cannot see

you sit beside me

you walk behind me

you stand before me

and lay next to me

youre eyes are on me

in the skin around me

and youre getting harder and harder to hold in. ]]> ~breakingsilence http://breakingsilence.deviantart.com/journal/3594495/ http://breakingsilence.deviantart.com/journal/3594495/ Fri, 15 Oct 2004 07:40:18 PDT
if my eyes are not free

ill question your existence

because there is a greater chaos

lurking in our minds

a way to destroy

what money has bought

and what resources have created

the impact of life moralities

is little to none

because no one seems to understand anything

and your cold embrace with the world

means nothing to anyone

because your heart and your mind is cut-off

closed and shut down

i scream out to feminism

and parade in gay rights

i kiss the boys that battle everyday

because this is a social change

but its not evolving fast enough

so instead we're impatient and do nothing

but say "fuck off" to the world

thinking we're better somehow

putting faith into rebellion like its some kind of savior

your original words bore me

and i cant wait to get away from it all

with your toxins and drugs

that only make you weak

and ill say "fuck off" to you

in hopes that maybe youll rethink it all

because while your giving in

im taking it in and im free ]]> ~breakingsilence http://breakingsilence.deviantart.com/journal/3594493/ http://breakingsilence.deviantart.com/journal/3594493/ Fri, 15 Oct 2004 07:39:51 PDT
but my silence is still questioned

and as you had predicted

after the sun went down

it did rise, opposite of where id thought it might

more often, than i hoped it would.

youre the brains of this opporation anyhow

im not sure why i challenged that

but since my palms were already sweaty

i though, well what the hell

these nerves of mine wont slow down anyway

and this death threat that your peeking on

seems reachable

and id leave well enough alone

so i did

you tell me to hold

but ive been waiting forever

its amazing the insight you get

during the early hours of the morning

the second hand is motionless.

and as you predicted

so was she. ]]> ~breakingsilence http://breakingsilence.deviantart.com/journal/3594490/ http://breakingsilence.deviantart.com/journal/3594490/ Fri, 15 Oct 2004 07:39:27 PDT
lost in a trail of memories

i fear the directions fold in your back pocket

but if i refused to tell you

maybe then you wouldnt notice

and the guilt i hold would subside

i'd be distracted at the least,

to know i could hold your heart

but i choose to break it

over and over again

but my muscles have been torn

and rebuilt and are now unstoppable

and my bones have been crushed and mangled

and healed and mended

mind and body

spirit and soul

ive broken the rules and bled

ive dealt

my directions have been destroyed

and my way to you, is lost

loneliness and regret is lost

because i chose to move on

i battle the words

and the lyrics to my heart

recover everyday

nothing more is perfect

nothing more is solitude

but we,

we're not alone. ]]> ~breakingsilence