http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:buddly20032000&section=today deviantART RSS for by:buddly20032000 en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Tue, 22 Dec 2009 14:45:18 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/26911269/ http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/26911269/ Sun, 30 Aug 2009 08:48:53 PDT
Does anyone have any suggestions on reducing file size without sacrificing image quality?

]]> ~buddly20032000 http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/26006665/ http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/26006665/ Fri, 17 Jul 2009 13:43:22 PDT
I'd like an opinion, from both writers and artists: What emotion is the hardest for you to convey?

For me, it's fear. I don't know how to express fear, other than to say I'm scared. Not to mention I can't stand the thought of harming another, so it's hard to imagine what a monster or killer would do to inspire it.

*On a totally unrelated note, I really, REALLY hate my avatar. Can anyone A. Make me a decent one. OR B. Give me some tips on how to make a decent avatar using only a cheap MS paint knock-off?

]]> ~buddly20032000 http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/25886788/ http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/25886788/ Sat, 11 Jul 2009 19:50:44 PDT
I'm sorry. For leaving so suddenly. It was selfish of me.

]]> ~buddly20032000 http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/25152520/ http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/25152520/ Fri, 05 Jun 2009 22:17:24 PDT
As for anyone who likes what I do here, I'm sorry, but someday I'll come out of the wood works again. Until then, thanks for putting up with a half-crazed furry. It's been kinda fun.

]]> ~buddly20032000 http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/25108792/ http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/25108792/ Wed, 03 Jun 2009 14:33:23 PDT
]]> ~buddly20032000 http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/25097083/ http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/25097083/ Tue, 02 Jun 2009 20:40:00 PDT
I put in nine applications last Thursday to try to get a job. No calls yet. Damn. Tomorrow, I'm going to Michigan WORKS, which I gather is a sort of employment center. God willing (Or whatever you believe in), I'll get a job by the end of the week.

I thought that being out of school would give me more time to work on my writing and experiments with drawing and color, but it turns out there is such a thing as too much of a good thing, after all. What little inspiration I had has dried up and I feel like my mind is slowly seeping out of my ears. I b**** a lot, I know. Sorry. Nobody around here listens, so I have to vent somewhere. If you actually read this, I'm truly sorry. I am more than just complaining. I tend to update at night when I'm extremely tired, so that's a major factor. I'll, once again, update with something more cheerful on the morrow.

Cheers!

]]> ~buddly20032000 http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/24958915/ http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/24958915/ Tue, 26 May 2009 10:58:31 PDT
]]> ~buddly20032000 http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/24943244/ http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/24943244/ Mon, 25 May 2009 13:16:07 PDT


]]> ~buddly20032000 http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/24927319/ http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/24927319/ Sun, 24 May 2009 15:54:56 PDT
As for my promise, I am going to keep this journal positive.

I got enough information to continue writing, thanks to and in specific. I'll try to keep my werewolf characters as close to the "traditional" sense as I can, but since there's so much dissent among everyone about silver, transformation and whether their aware while transformed, I'm going to embellish just a little bet to make the story work. Call it creative license if you like, I don't care.

On a totally unrelated note, the weather has been absolutely divine this weekend. Everything is finally green!!!

I need to get a job or I'm going to lose my mind. There isn't much to do around my house but garden, and I really, REALLY suck at that.

Later!

]]> ~buddly20032000 http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/24880207/ http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/24880207/ Thu, 21 May 2009 19:27:38 PDT
This is how I feel right now, and I'm not sure why.

Oh here's a nice thought! Friends gain the greatest rewards by making sacrifices without expecting anything in return. In other words, if you want a friend, be a friend.

Been losing my mind since I graduated. I actually think I'm getting dumber, somehow. Not only that, but my parents are treating me like an equal instead of a subordinate, which is weird. I don't know what's going on right now, to be honest. My best friend lives 815 miles away, and I'm extremely lonely. I guess that's the main reason I'm depressed. I mean, I love my mom and all, but she's not exactly the best company in the world. She's trying to get me to tell her what's wrong and I'm thinking: 'Well, Mom, I was just thinking how much you annoy me.' For those of you who don't know, I would never say that to her.

I don't know, I guess I just need a friend right now, and the only ones who would be my friends around here either annoy or scare the hell out of me. There is one kid, but he's a freshman, so there's not a lot I can do with him without distracting him from school. (and trust me, he needs all the help he can get )

Okay... Guess I got to the pointless, huh? I'll try to have something more cheerful to say next time.
<3

]]> ~buddly20032000 http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/24836682/ http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/24836682/ Tue, 19 May 2009 09:37:48 PDT

That's not what this is for though, I need some help. I'm writing a story (whoa, shocker. right?) and I need some information on Werewolves. In particular; the various ways to become one, their aversion to silver, ways to cure a werewolf, whether or not the afflicted can control themselves or be brought to their senses... Wow, this is more than I thought... How about any books or people who know a lot about this. Anything you might know would help.

Also, I need to look into church rituals, it's beliefs on spirits/ghosts, curses, and, of course, exorcism. I already posted some of the story, but I need to repost them as one chapter.

Hope someone can help!

Later

]]> ~buddly20032000 http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/24688229/ http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/24688229/ Sun, 10 May 2009 14:27:21 PDT
Another random update out of sheer boredom, not to mention the fact that I like people to know I'm still alive... Yeah...

I'm actually okay, though. Sometimes I feel like nobody gives a damn, but what else is new? Been keeping busy with school, random drawing and sporadic writing streaks. I really miss some friends and wish I could find someone to pass the time with. Family is... Complicated, let's leave it at that. The fact that I'm stuck here for two more years is a drag. It's not really them, so much as the fact that I need to live MY life, not just theirs.

Anyway, I'll probably update soon, because I HAVE been keeping busy. Anyone with advice on an ID, please tell me, because I want to do that soon.

]]> ~buddly20032000 http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/24573318/ http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/24573318/ Sun, 03 May 2009 19:40:06 PDT
[ ] You have a short temper.
[x] You often act on your emotions without thinking first.
[ ] You are very competitive.
[x] You like to play with fire.
[ ] You are not a strong swimmer or you can't swim at all.
[ ] You prefer warm weather over cold weather.
[ ] You often lose control over yourself.
[x] You can be quite reckless.
[x] You sometimes hurt people without realizing it.
[ ] People have often called you insane.
Total: 4

.:WATER:.

[x] You have a calm, laid-back personality.
[x] You like to go to the beach.
[x] You rarely get angry.
[x] When you do get angry, you know how to control it.
[ ] You think before you act.
[ ] You are good at breaking up fights.
[x] You are a good swimmer.
[x] You like the rain.
[ ] You can stay calm in stressful situations.
[x] You are very generous.
Total: 7

.:EARTH:.

[ ] You are physically strong.
[x] You have a close connection with nature.
[ ] You don't mind getting dirty.
[x] You form strong opinions on issues that concern you.
[ ] You could easily survive in the wild.
[x] You care about the environment.
[x] You can easily focus on your work without getting distracted.
[ ] You rarely get depressed.
[ ] You aren't afraid of anything.
[ ] You prefer to have a strict set of rules.
Total: 4

.:AIR:.

[x] You have a free spirit.
[x] You hate rules. (Some of them, anyway)
[x] You prefer to be out in the open rather than in small, enclosed spaces.
[x] You hate to be restrained.
[ ] You are very independent and outgoing.
[x] You are quite intelligent.
[ ] You tend to be impatient.
[x] You are easily distracted.
[x] You can sometimes be hyperactive and/or annoying.
[x] You wish you could fly.
Total: 8

.: DARKNESS:.

[x] You spend most of your time alone.
[x] You prefer nighttime over daytime.
[ ] You like creepy things.
[ ] You like to play tricks on people.
[ ] Black is your favorite color.
[ ] You prefer the villains over the heroes in movies, TV shows, videogames, etc.
[x] You don't talk much.
[ ] You are atheist.
[x] You don't mind watching scary movies.
[ ] You love to break the rules.
Total: 4

.:LIGHT:.

[x] You are very polite.
[x] You are spiritual. (Kinda)
[x] When someone is in trouble, you never hesitate to help them.
[x] You believe everything you see or hear. (Aka Naive)
[x] You are afraid of the dark.
[x] You hate violence.
[x] You hope for world peace. (but I don't hold my breath)
[x] You are generally a happy person.
[x] Everyone loves to be around you.
[x] You always follow the rules.
Total: 10

Light. Um... I'm not just light I don't think... Redo?

]]> ~buddly20032000 http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/24468283/ http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/24468283/ Mon, 27 Apr 2009 17:48:09 PDT
You probably don't care, but since I have all this space, here are my plans for the future: (VERY basic, I might add)

1) Graduate! (Duh!)
2) Get a job. (People in MI, any thoughts???)
3) Survive summer '09
4) Start Community college in fall '09
5) Get a better job while taking classes
6) Transfer in 2011 to a four year university for teaching.
7) Graduate! (Again)
8) Find a teaching job in a place I'm comfortable with.
9) Settle down
X) Get the girl. (I have someone in mind <3)
XX) Write novels until one sticks, so to speak.

As for X) and XX), they can happen anytime after #1.

I'd like to hear my friends plans, too. Anyone else who does this, I would love to hear about it!!!

]]> ~buddly20032000 http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/24082663/ http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/24082663/ Sun, 05 Apr 2009 19:40:23 PDT
I had a college interview scheduled, and that took presidence over everything. Now, maybe this is wrong, but I was depressed all day that day. Why? Because no one outside the family in my house remembered, or so I thought. In fact, the high point of my day was when my mom managed to get the workers in a casino restaurant to sing to me. (At which point I wanted to kill myself with a fork. (Figuratively.))
The result is that for the past day-and-a-half I've been depressed. I didn't have the heart to leave my room. I checked my email today for the first time... What do you think was in there?
It was full of well wishings for my "Big day." It's strange to feel unbearably happy while at the same time want to beat yourself to death.
As a result, I hereby name myself an official jackass.

On a seperate note: I'd really appreciate it if someone sent me a message or something once in a while. I'm smack in the middle of Nowhere, USA and losing it!!!

PLEASE!!!

]]> ~buddly20032000 http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/23562212/ http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/23562212/ Fri, 06 Mar 2009 18:30:51 PST
You honestly think
I'll change my ways to fit in?
I'd rather stay me.

2nd Trimester exams are over, thank god.

I'm exausted... Feel kinda mentally numb, know what I mean? I wasn't online much this week, and I probably missed a few things, so I apologize. I'll try to get back on top of things this weekend. I did manage to pass all my classes, though. So that's a plus ^^.

I feel I should apologize for my last journal as well... I felt really random th at day and, I dunno, I guess a normal journal didn't cut it that day. But "normal" is either subjective or propaganda, depending on your viewpoint, so whatever.

I had to put everything on hold this week, but I hope I can straighten things out before the next trimester starts on thursday. My next priority is a project for in response to including me in [link] Hopefully it turns out and is good enough to show her some love. I love all my friends, of course, but I enjoy some peoples company more than others .

But for now, I'm going to bed.

Be happy everyone!

]]> ~buddly20032000 http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/23239142/ http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/23239142/ Mon, 16 Feb 2009 16:17:10 PST
Hola, soy yo otra vez.

En aras de la cordura voy a hablar de los ratones ... No preguntar.

Los ratones son muy difíciles de sacar ... Aún más difícil señalar a un Furry. Finalmente, aunque tengo derecho, por lo que estoy probablemente van a subir pronto. Simplemente no esperar nada espectacular en la forma de color ...

En cualquier caso, estoy satisfecho con la forma en que resultó ^^. La nariz podría haber sido mejor ... y es difícil para colorear un albino >.<, pero bueno.

Más detalles cuando los uploads (Si el servidor decide que le gusta el archivo, que es )

(For the sake of honesty, I used a translator, but who cares? ^^)

Don't know spanish? Here:[link]

]]> ~buddly20032000 http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/23176397/ http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/23176397/ Fri, 13 Feb 2009 14:46:16 PST
If you are on the internet and see something you don't like, remember this: YOU CAN INGORE IT. You are not required to complain or attack the person "responsable" for it. The internet isn't a place for people to get together and argue, in my opinion. If you have a problem with someone that badly, there's a beautiful option called "Ignore".

Just saying.

]]> ~buddly20032000 http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/23159955/ http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/23159955/ Thu, 12 Feb 2009 16:34:39 PST
]]> ~buddly20032000 http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/23108091/ http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/23108091/ Mon, 09 Feb 2009 17:44:03 PST

I'm losing my mind today >.< I got dumped last week and can't figure out why girls are so cruel. Been bugging me all day...

*sigh* Oh well ^^, I'll get over it

]]> ~buddly20032000 http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/23079111/ http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/23079111/ Sun, 08 Feb 2009 10:07:28 PST
I gave up... So if I didn't get to something you really wanted me to see, please tell me! I didn't want to ignore anything, but I can't do it! I've spent two days on it already and I'm starting to fall a little behind, so sorry, but I had to!

]]> ~buddly20032000 http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/23064283/ http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/23064283/ Sun, 08 Feb 2009 10:13:26 PST >

Hi!!

I'm known as Buddly/Buddy/James/Weird kid

I am 17, almost 18. I live in Michigan (LP). In the middle of NOWHERE! *screams and no one hears*

I am MALE (why do people get that wrong?)... I am Heterosexual, but have nothing against Bi's or Gay's. I am also single. Again (Dammit!)

I am a Furry and am into Macro/Micro. I don't like Vore, but it fascinates me for some reason O_o. I am constantly pestered by my parents, who support me in my excursions into art and writing, but don't understand my furry fascination. I go to an art teacher once a week, am a self taught writer, and that's all there is on that

I have a lot of interests including:
The colors Blue, Red, and Purple.
Foxes, Lions, Dragons, Pokemon, Pokemorphs and Squirrels (don't ask)
Writing (current project: What happens when a Cat befriends Mice?)
Drawing (Foxes, again)
RPG's
Nonconformity (Screw cliques)

Things I am against:
Animal Testing (If you think it's dangerous, test it on yourSELF!)
People who cause trouble just 'cuz they're bored
War

My fursona is a three inch tall (standing on two legs) Blue red fox (vulpes vulpes). White front paws with a scar running from the corner of his right eye.

Did I leave anything out this time? ^^

EDIT: I did!
Religion: In short: I don't believe in organized religion... I believe in faith, though, and I hold on to some christian ideals, as well as some Budhist ideals (which are similar).

I will not fight over this, so please don't try to persuade me, okay?

]]> ~buddly20032000 http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/22971646/ http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/22971646/ Mon, 02 Feb 2009 19:09:51 PST
Are you in a point in your life where:
1. Your goals feel within reach?
2. You trust someone completely?
3. You are satisfied?
4. You feel loved?
5. You are honest with most people you know?
6. You are thinking of changing it up a little?
7. You feel overwhelmed?
8. You are busy all the time?
9. You feel like you can depend on your friends?
10. You feel accepted?
11. You are honest with yourself?
12. You know what you want?
13. You feel like you're doing something truly good for the world?
14. You feel happy most of the time?
15. You have hope for the future?

As is only fair, I'll fill it out myself first. Feel free to elaborate!

James (me)
1. No... They're a thousand miles away.
2. Yes. Thank heaven for them.
3. No. I am working towards it though.
4. I feel loved every day.
5. Everyone has secrets. I try to tell the truth, but I can lie just as easily.
6. Yes, I do need a change of pace.
7. Yes, I have a lot to do and very little time.
8. I am. I have two hard classes and a demanding hobby, but it's worth it!
9. Depends on which friends... But mostly I say yes.
10. No, I don't. I'm a furry and people around here don't get them very well...
11. Tough one... I think so, but I will admit I delude myself sometimes.
12. I do and I don't. I know what I want to do with my life, but I think I lost sight of what's truly important...
13. I hope so. I want to bring people together and help them look past our differences.
14. I am, actually I know I have good friends who love me. I also have dreams.
15. I do. People are vile creatures sometimes, but there is a spark of decency there. There's hope yet.

Let me know what you think, and I'd love to answer questions about me if you have any! I've been a little reclusive as of late. I won't however tell you where I live, my full name, etc... Anything else is fair game though.

JD.

]]> ~buddly20032000 http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/22870468/ http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/22870468/ Wed, 28 Jan 2009 17:01:11 PST
Here's the thing; I met a girl, she's cute, funny, nice, and is actually interested in me! (Yes, it is that big of a deal for me.) I like her so much, and I asked her out. She said she would but she already had a boyfriend. The next day she said they weren't doing so well, and the following monday she told me she'd broken up with him. I asked her out the next day, she said yes.

The problem is, we only see each other in math class and we can't bond. I held her hand today and she started shaking! What the heck does that mean?! Anyone got any advice? 'Cuz I have no idea what's going on!

]]> ~buddly20032000 http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/22697198/ http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/22697198/ Tue, 20 Jan 2009 15:43:24 PST
]]> ~buddly20032000 http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/22677982/ http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/22677982/ Mon, 19 Jan 2009 16:32:41 PST
Whatever. I'm tired of trying to please others. This is why I tried to leave deviantart behind, because it makes me feel small. Like a child begging for attention. I didn't have to put this on the internet. I'd hoped to try to get it published, and putting it on a public domain is a huge risk! I wanted to show I could do something as good as the artists, but words aren't as powerful I guess. Even the people I specifically asked and trusted didn't look at it. That hurts, you know? You could show you care once in a while. That's all.

]]> ~buddly20032000 http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/22594816/ http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/22594816/ Thu, 15 Jan 2009 12:02:37 PST
]]> ~buddly20032000 http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/22578548/ http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/22578548/ Wed, 14 Jan 2009 13:32:11 PST
Well, lately my luck sucks so I'll just wait till it gets better.

]]> ~buddly20032000 http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/22546229/ http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/22546229/ Mon, 12 Jan 2009 15:36:43 PST has agreed to co-author. Yay! I hope to get some more of Homecoming done by this weekend. Enjoy, and tell thanks if you see him!

]]> ~buddly20032000 http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/22508330/ http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/22508330/ Sat, 10 Jan 2009 14:53:28 PST
Edit: It's buddly20032000@yahoo.com I guess I forgot to mention that I hate making up screennames, so I use the same one for everything

]]> ~buddly20032000 http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/21883234/ http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/21883234/ Mon, 08 Dec 2008 14:35:18 PST
It's strange to me that a place I'd never heard of would turn into such an obsession for me. Recently I had to take a break because I was acting like a whiny little kid and needed time to mull things over. It's good to know some people do care, even if we've never met. As for those of you who've moved on, I don't blame you, I'm not all that interesting

Since I last wrote, I have met two wonderful people who have shown me what I am worth, and what I can become. Sounds strange coming from a seventeen-year-old, huh? Let me explain a little. I feel I owe some answers, but forgive me if I don't get too specific. It's easy to get hurt your eyes coming from the shadows, if you get me.

*Ahem*

I wasn't raised in the best house. It wasn't my mom's fault, she did her best to protect me, but she is a sickly woman, and my father is a mean drunk. But that's over now. I have the power over my father, and if he ever touches me, my mother, or anyone else ever again I'll kill him.

I am a furry through and through. I am a particular fan of tame Macro/micro, though I don't know why. I expect it has something to do with an abusive father and feeling small and hurt all the time, but like I said, that's over now.

Anyway, now that the anger is gone, I'll to get back to what I started out to do.

When I first joined up, I was in a real state. My grandmother had just passed away and I was desperatly looking for a solid foundation. I hadn't realised before a friend showed me this site that anyone liked the same things I did (or even, in fact, what it was I liked). I'm talking about "Furrys" or Anthros.

I think it began with Disney. I watched The Lion King almost every day when I was younger, and by the time I got around to Robin Hood, I was hooked. The people here were receptive and kind ar first, and I had a good time. I even tried my hand at my own anthro art (I really need to move those into my scraps, they're embarrasing...)

However, it didn't take me long to realize that there was a darker side to my strange sanctuary. People. After all, we're only human (on the outside, for some of us) Is it human nature to hurt other creatures, even those of our own species? Oh well, as a good friend of mine put it "god's up there pointing and laughing at us, but I'll live like I want to"

I took every insult personaly. I couldn't help it, it's my nature. I'm not the kind of person who takes random insults with a grin. For someone in an already unstable state, it was a bit too much. I felt worthless, dwelling on those simple statements far more than I should have. Suicide was on my mind often and I had no energy, no initiative whatsoever. When I finally confessed how I felt to my parents, mom panicked and looked into a counsoler. The first person who helped save me.

This woman was to be the foundation I so desperatly needed. She showed me I was worth something, no matter what others said. She was someone who, for some reason, liked me. I was devulging my deepest secrets to this woman, and she cared about me anyway. For the first time, I felt like I didn't have to be someone else in order to be loved.

She helped me get back on track in school, accepted to a college, and even helped with my interests, by introducing me to a special art teacher. She finished saving me.

It turned out that my counselor was from a creative gene pool, and she carved wood in her spare time. Her sister went to College for fine arts and fine art education, and agreed to take me on as her student.

This woman was unlike anyone I'd ever met, even her sister was different. She is a light-hearted, caring, thouhtful, witty, altogether incredible person, and at the same time, was scatterbrained and forgetful.

These are the oddest, most wonderful women I've ever met. I thank god every day that I met them. They helped me put my life back together.

That's it.

I wrote this for two reasons:

1. To let anyone who cares about me here know I'm not in a gutter somewhere

2. To show that even normal, average people get depressed, and that it takes that all-too-rare showing of kindness to help people in need.

Please. If you know anyone who might benifeit from my tale, pass it on. Let people know that there are good people out there, and it's not hopeless. It's never hopeless.

]]> ~buddly20032000 http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/20130768/ http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/20130768/ Sun, 24 Aug 2008 13:10:17 PDT
I want to say a lot, but the things I have to say don't apply here. I suppose I've been using my DA journals to vent, and that, as I've found out, was a bad idea.

I don't know when or if i'll be back on, but thanks to those of you who've put up with me. Someday I'll be able to put myself "out there" like you have, but not yet.

]]> ~buddly20032000 http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/17345536/ http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/17345536/ Sat, 15 Mar 2008 10:55:09 PDT I'll try to get a grip on my life, then i'll be ready to draw and write again. But only once I find the courage to believe in myself.

]]> ~buddly20032000 http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/16598303/ http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/16598303/ Sun, 27 Jan 2008 14:08:44 PST

About a week ago I found out that diet soda can cause a lot of problems and stopped drinking it Immediately. for some reason it was causing my depression... I don't get it, but whatever.

Since this is the first journal entry since 12:00 Dec 31st, I'll put in some things I've learned over the course of 2007, as well as update current events in life around here.
What I've learned:
-Man cannot run on caffine alone
-God can be spelled "Gawd" (blame my friend for that one...)
-Anatomy ruins amateur art
-There is such a thing as TOO detailed
-If a friend ask you to explain anthro/furrys, do NOT try to...
-Never turn to your brother for advice.
-God created sleep on the SEVENTH day.
-Certain things, (such as sleeping) make school harder
-Raccoons don't like campers...
-Old people DON'T want to be corrected (I have the lump to prove it.)
-Ice is not an ideal driving surface
-Icicles can stab you when you least expect it.
-Anatomy and Physiology is a hard class after all.
-Some things really are better left unsaid (and those things will get you slapped!)
-it is difficult to think a 3:00 in the morning
-It is not-so-difficult to draw at 3:00 in the morning
-Writer's block sucks...
-so does artist's block
-Teacher: easily impressed knowledgeable trained monkey. (again, blame my friend)
-People do not notice if you draw animals, but they DO notice if you favor one above the others...
UPDATES
-No progress on any stories. Though I have ideas, they don't come out right on paper. All you can do is keep trying though.
-It turns out I CAN draw. Not as well as some, but better than others. The trouble comes when I try to color

That isn't nearly all I have to say, but it seems I've run out of steam.
Oh, one more thing I've learned: I'm slightly self-centered, which causes me some trouble at times. But, then again, aren't we all?

]]> ~buddly20032000 http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/15891026/ http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/15891026/ Tue, 11 Dec 2007 14:30:14 PST
On sunday morning I was in the shower trying to clear my head when I got hit by a story idea. Why is it always when you CAN'T write things down that you get these!? Anyway it's about 8 pages in and I showed a few of my friends... BIG mistake

It's about werewolves. One of my friends said it needs more detail, and when I tried explaining that it was a rough draft, she read through it and said "it's good."

Another is big on the whole vampire/werewolf thing. In the story certain things will come up about the origin of them. Some people say it was some experiment gone awry, some think it's a virus or plague. I think the latter, and will put down a certain event which takes place in egypt. This was a point which we squabbled over for a while.

In any case the first chapter should be done soon, after much detailing and editing. you can decide for yourself. As usual however, I need to ask something; is it normal to have two main characters and switch viewpoints in the middle of a chapter? I did just that and it looks strange. (possibly because Ray, the 1st char, doesn't know her name yet, so I refer to her as "she" or "her" a lot.) Anyway, the introduction is classic horror story, so it should be easy to read through.

P.S: if you know of anyone interested in these kind of things, pleeeeeeeeeeease refer them here! I am very proud of this one!

]]> ~buddly20032000 http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/15852353/ http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/15852353/ Sat, 08 Dec 2007 18:05:26 PST
Mine is being hampered by my best friend not being here. I sent him an angry e-mail today... I wish I could take it back. I don't know his phone number, his address, his school, anything! I want to talk to him so much! I hope he doesn't hate me for it...

]]> ~buddly20032000 http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/15640449/ http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/15640449/ Fri, 23 Nov 2007 19:21:58 PST
You see, I'm not really EVER gone... but... observing from the shadows if you will...

I see people on here who can just do a quick sketch and make it look better than I can working for hours, and I get disheartened. I don't leave however, I just keep watching everyone (my friends) contribute and don't comment. Sometimes I don't log in, so people will think I have gone away or something. That way no one asks questions. I feel bad about that, that's why I'm writing this.

I try desaratly to draw something good enough to put here, but nothing comes out right. Stories fall apart in my mind when I try to write. I know I can draw, and my friends (irl) say i'm pretty good, but I can't see it. (is it in my head?)

A few problems I have are
1. I can't draw a character twice. I don't know why, but if I try, they come out all wrong.
2. I can't draw two eyes next to each other. If I try, one is larger/smaller than the other, so I erase and try again. ...and again... and again until finally the paper is stained grey from erasing too many times and I have to scrap it.
3. I can't draw paws/feet. I don't know why. (I'm working on it but not seeming to make any progress.
4. I can't color well. I tried again this wednesday and it turned out ok, except for the fact that her fur, which was supposed to be light brown... was somehow bright yellow. (Oops!)
5.Self-esteem. Enough said.
6. I have problems with perspective and shading.

These journals are kind of my outlet. My family doesn't care about what I draw and my friends don't get anthro and keep trying to get me to draw plain animals.

When I get REALLY down on myself I look up tutorials and try to improve. It doesn't work really well. (although I found a dragon-wing tutorial that helped A LOT)

I'd like those of you who didn't shrug me off and ignore me when I told you about my problems. It really helped. Especially and

thanks for listening and puting up with me. Maybe I should see a counselor about those self-esteem issues...

]]> ~buddly20032000 http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/15076309/ http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/15076309/ Mon, 15 Oct 2007 16:25:53 PDT It's me! The annoying kid from michigan! Its been awhile huh? Sorry, life kinda caught up with me all at once if you know what I mean. If it's not too much trouble, send me a note telling me how you've been. I'll do the same as soon as I get a chance.

Anyway, It's great to be back! I've got to study for a big test tonight but I'll probably be on tomorrow. Smiles everyone!!!

]]> ~buddly20032000 http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/14646367/ http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/14646367/ Sat, 15 Sep 2007 14:57:02 PDT


During the recent internet-less void in my life, I've come to realise that though I have one of the best literary minds in mygrade and school, I have the artistic ability of a three year old, dispite my desparate attempts to better my self. This is something I am prepared to accept.

What I am loath to embrace, however, is the fact that high school art class is too advanced for me, and no one will take time out of their lives to help me. I NEED someone with talent to help me nurture my growing facination with drawing.

I know i've said things like this before, but this time feels different. I am angry and hurt that no one in my school cares enough to help, though I'm not surprised.

You more talented people have no idea how awful it feels to have a simple project in your head and cannot complete it due to inadiquite skill. Over the summer, I've tried countless times to draw simple things and they come out a horrible, blotchy, ill-formed disaster.

I'm just sitting here thinking about it and I actually want to cry! Feeling neglected is the worst thing ever, I mean, All I want to do is pursue a passion and no one wants to show me anything! Is it really too much to ask for someone who will listen? Someone who can understand, and who can be ther for me?

I know this seems like a bout of self pity, but this is the only way I can get it out 'cause, like I said before, NO ONE WILL LISTEN TO ME!!!!!!

]]> ~buddly20032000 http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/14534638/ http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/14534638/ Fri, 07 Sep 2007 18:03:13 PDT
]]> ~buddly20032000 http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/14045951/ http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/14045951/ Mon, 06 Aug 2007 15:23:13 PDT
]]> ~buddly20032000 http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/13698865/ http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/13698865/ Wed, 11 Jul 2007 17:55:36 PDT
The storm was “severe” to the weathermen. It was catastrophic to everyone in it, however, except for one man. He knew this storm’s true purpose. One more than just a seasonal blanket of white powder, so to speak.
It was a cover for him.
He had crossed the barrier only A few minutes ago, but one would expect him to have accumulated quite an amount of snow. However, this man was special. In a way that could change peoples lives, for better or worse.
The snow seemed to veer away from him, and he seemed unaffected by the cold. This, most people would attribute to his red cloak, which he pulled tight over him. However, a certain woman saw him and immediately knew better. She picked up her phone and began dialing.

Across the city, Emily Brown sat at her bedroom window, watching the snow fall. Power had been out to most of the city for about an hour now, and there wasn’t much else to do. Anyone who was crazy, bold, or just plain stupid enough to go outside, quickly reconsidered.
At fifteen years of age, you wouldn’t expect a girl who knew who her parents were to be in an orphanage. But the truth of the matter was, her parents were so horrid, that she had run away. Her parents acted as if they didn’t know Emily at all, often spending weeks out of the house. Emily couldn’t remember the last time they had done something together, besides
She glanced around her room, noting the lack of decoration. A poster from Harry Potter and the sorcerer’s stone, and a long since broken “Furby” were all that suggested a kid lived there. After all, an orphanage is hardly the place for anything more.
There was however, one more thing. Something she didn’t dare show anyone, for fear that they would take it from her. This was a beautiful inch-long sapphire, which her grandfather had given her just before he passed away. He had said it was her inheritance, from a stupid old man who wanted to make up for not being strong enough to take her from her parents. She always looked to it for comfort. This was one time when she needed it.
She crossed her meager space, avoiding the bugs, which had taken over. On her dresser was a locked box, which had cost her the last of her money. It was also firmly bolted in place, for there were many kids who were perfectly willing to steal, as well.

What do you think so far? I'm probably gonna make revisions so don't get attached to it ^^.

]]> ~buddly20032000 http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/13582944/ http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/13582944/ Tue, 03 Jul 2007 16:39:57 PDT Just so you know I am going camping and therefore won't be on for like, five days. thats the downside of camping i guess

1. How old will you be in five years? 21

2. Who did you spend at least two hours with today? my mom

3. How tall are you? 6'1 i believe

4. What do you look forward to most in the next six weeks? Going to see WICKED

5. What's the last movie you saw? The mummy returns
6. Who was the last person you called? My friend jeremy

7. Who was the last person to call you? My mom's friend theresa

8. What was the last text message you received? From my girlfriend, asking about this web site

9. Who was the last person to leave you a voicemail? I don't know, I forgot the code

10. Do you prefer to call or text? Text, I dunno why.

11. What were you doing at 12am last night? Watching the mummy returns

12. Are your parents married/divorced? divorced, my asshole father was abusive

13. When did you last see your mom? 5 mins ago

14. What color are your eyes? Blue

15. What time did you wake up today? 9ish

16. What are you wearing right now? Jeans and a t-shirt

17. What is your favorite Christmas song? I dunno

18. Where is your favorite place to be? a hillside outside of Big Rapids

19. Where is your least favorite place to be? in an elevator, They scare me.

20. Where would you go if you could go anywhere? Africa

21. Where do you think you'll be in 10 years? Somewhere that offers veterenary training.

22. Do you tan or burn? both

23. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child? IT, from the Stephen King novel.

24. What was the last thing that really made you laugh? I cant remember the last time i laughed

25. How many TVs do you have in your house? 4

26. How big is your bed? They come in sizes!?

27. Do you have a laptop or desktop computer? Desktop, but i Wish it was a laptop

28. Do you sleep with or without clothes on? With, I have dogs ya know...

29. What color are your sheets? creamish

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? Two

31. What is your favorite season? Fall, My favorite place in the world gets prettier.

32. How big is your cock, and are you circumsized? I'm not answering that...


33. What do you like about winter? I dunno, christmas?

34. What do you like about the summer? Swimming!

35. What do you like about spring? i don't, I have Awful allergies!

36. How many states/provinces have you lived in? 1

37. What cities/towns have you lived in? Lakeview, edmore, morley, stanwood, holt, lansing and Eaton Rapids.

38. Do you prefer shoes, socks, or bare feet? Socks

39. Are you a social person? No, I'm usually very shy

40. What was the last thing you ate? I can't remember.

41. What is your favorite restaurant? Uhm, bennigans?

42. What is your favorite ice cream? Neopoliticai... uh, that three flavored stuff...

43. What is your favorite dessert? Cake, preferably chocolate

44. What is your favorite kind of soup? Good old tomato!

45. What kind of jelly do you like on your PB & J sandwich? Raspberry.

46. Do you like Chinese food? No

47. Do you like coffee? It's evil!

48. How many glasses of water, a day, do you drink on average? 42?

49. What do you drink in the morning? anything with caffine!

50: Top or bottom?! No idea, Never been there.

51. Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed? I sleep facing the wall, either wall will do.

52. Do you know how to play poker? Yeah, A couple of types, just forgot what they're called

53. Do you like to cuddle? And be cuddled!

54. Have you ever been to Canada? Yeah, I live in michigan!

55. Do you have an addictive personality? People usually throw things at me, more often than not, if that's what you mean.

56. Do you eat out or at home more often?... ]]> ~buddly20032000 http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/13511804/ http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/13511804/ Wed, 27 Jun 2007 12:11:33 PDT Biggs moved alongside him and reahed for the binoculars as the others strained unaided eyes.

2.Stretch your left arm out as far as you can.
that was pointless...

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Dirty Jobs

4. Without looking, guess what time it is.
3:00

5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
2:56

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
Dog collars clinking.

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
Closing windows, about an hour ago.

10. Did you dream last night?
Yes, something about cats and mice.

11. When did you last laugh?
not for a while.

12. What are on the walls you are in?
Bad paint.

13. Seen anything weird lately?
Weird like what?

14. What do you think of this quiz?
it's time consuming

15. What is the last film you saw?
Hmm, I think it was "spider-man three"

16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you think?
God's playing a joke on me...

17. Tell me something about you that I don't know.
I use DA more than E-mail

18. If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be?
Make everyone a furrie

19. Do you like to dance?
Only if it's DDR

20. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Amaya, after my friend 's japanese name, which she likes more than her real one i hear...

21. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Luke

22. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Hell yes!

23. What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
You've been a bay boy...

24. 6 people who must also do this in THEIR journal:
and

Sorry but when your computer troubles are over, your up!

]]> ~buddly20032000 http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/13488547/ http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/13488547/ Mon, 25 Jun 2007 17:36:27 PDT
I finally got off my *** and submited something else. though it's not that good really it's better than my first drawing.

that's all for now. I'm off to browse!

]]> ~buddly20032000 http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/13405069/ http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/13405069/ Tue, 19 Jun 2007 09:46:28 PDT
I did some drawings while bored and they turned out alright, however I need to get some better paper 'cuz my scanner won't work on it... or maybe it's just broken. anyway i'll get SOMETHING on soon i promise.

]]> ~buddly20032000 http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/13200977/ http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/13200977/ Sun, 03 Jun 2007 10:40:50 PDT

I am once again writnig a journal 'cuz i'm bored and no one sent me any advice despite being on recently... anyway, back to writing.

My watchers are not growing, which i contribute to not being a good artist or writer, which is okay 'cuz i am working on that I also have not put pencil to paper for about a day and that says to me that i have a bit of a block, even though i have a good idea i have no path TO that idea! I really would like to draw it even badly 'cuz i like it so freakin much!

I would like to thank you for being my friends, i know it takes a lot to put up with me! I am probably going to send a lot of notes today so don't be alarmed.

, how goes your work? We haven't spoken in awhile so i don't know! mine's going... slowly. It's in my head and not reallyt translating onto paper well as i state above ^ I have no problem with this actually! I need to think on it a lot to get it right!

]]> ~buddly20032000 http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/13190948/ http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/13190948/ Sat, 02 Jun 2007 15:08:44 PDT
Anyway, my new project seems a little much for the supplies I have so I'm gonna need to do some shopping. here is a list of what I am going to do, (I'll explain later in the journal why i did this.)

1. Draw it! (duh)
2. Post line art.
3. Paint it.
4. Post "final" copy.

I need help with #3. I am a total retard when it comes to painting and need advice on the supplies, such as the right kind of paper, best brushes, misc. things etc. While i think i can paint it well enough, i am definatly going to need some help with gathering the right supplies to do it justice, think you can help?

And by the way, Thanks for helping to get me past 100 page views, that really made my day!

]]> ~buddly20032000 http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/13160148/ http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/13160148/ Thu, 31 May 2007 05:59:37 PDT
]]> ~buddly20032000 http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/13147475/ http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/13147475/ Wed, 30 May 2007 06:03:24 PDT
I have a lot on my mind right now and i guess that shows in my journals. I have about two days of school left and then I won't be on nearly as much. I also have exams this week and am kinda freaking about them.

I have to say something as well. I have been depressed lately and havn't been all that nice sometimes, and i apologise for that. I also want to say a few things to individuals.

, You moving away is a big weight on my shoulders, and i try to incllude you in my journals as much as possible to see if you respond at all. so far you really haven't, and that scares me. When i moved away from my old town, I lost contact with all my old friends. We can't let that happen.

, You are a very supportive and good person and if you ever need anything from me, don't hesitate to ask!

, You seem very important to me and seem like you should be mentioned here as well. You have a certain grace about you that is beyond your years, and I really wish i could meet you just once in RL.

, You were one of my first friends here in DA and i really appreciate that. Keep in touch this summer, so that we can keep this small luxury of our sometimes awkward talks.

, I really wish i knew you a little better, but you seem like a pretty cool person.

, We really need to talk a little more. I hope that happens somehow. Also, i think i know some people who can get you a decent avvy.

, I don't know you very well either, but we can overcome that can't we? I hope we don't fall out of commnication over the summer.

Anyone who I didn't mention i just can't think of anything to say to, sorry. I just needed to say these to the people who are important to me, friends old and new, near and so very far away, I do hold you dear to me. And I hope that someday we can alll get to where we are going, and not give up each other in the process.

]]> ~buddly20032000 http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/13141440/ http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/13141440/ Tue, 29 May 2007 17:20:25 PDT
Anyway i AM getting photoshop, one way or another, and cleaning this bad boy up. Thanks for your support through my disbelief in myself, especaelly I really appreciate it!

Now you may see why i've been afraid but i realised after i got started that maybe i can be better at this that i gave myself credit for.

I look forward to adding better images to my gallery. That's all for now!

]]> ~buddly20032000 http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/13135561/ http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/13135561/ Tue, 29 May 2007 08:25:50 PDT what can you do? Sorry for yesterdays journal, I'm feelin better about that.

]]> ~buddly20032000 http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/13128224/ http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/13128224/ Mon, 28 May 2007 17:03:19 PDT
I'm really down on myself for not finishing my piece this weekend. I just felt a little hopeless about it. I start drawing and think that is gonna be horrable and I can't do it. then i'm back at it later and trash that one as well. (I want through a lot of paper)

Any ideas what's wrong with me? I want to do this but i'm so scared, you know? all my friends are better than me and i've never done any serious work. I hate myself right now, gelling helpless and writing about it... ha thats stupid you know?

I mean no offense and i hope you still like me after reading this. I'm still trying, but it's hard, and i feel pressured.

]]> ~buddly20032000 http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/13071987/ http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/13071987/ Thu, 24 May 2007 05:18:27 PDT . Anyway, my friend holly was the inspiration for the piece since she's always been spirited and yesterday she showed her wild side and bit someone (Idoon't like him either, so I can't blame her) I'm going to draw her this weekend and hoppefully i don't screw it up too bad. Whether I do or not I'm submiting it, so that i can get some tips on what i do wrong.

Brice and ashley: If you read this and have no idea what i'm talking about talk to me. [anyone else can ask me as well but I know these people in real life ]

]]> ~buddly20032000 http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/13026232/ http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/13026232/ Sun, 20 May 2007 13:25:11 PDT . I have to say that going to graduation ceremonies helps keep me on track in school (among other things, like my girlfriend) anyway, congratulations to any graduates who read this, and good luck with whatever your dreams are!

]]> ~buddly20032000 http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/13017438/ http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/13017438/ Sat, 19 May 2007 19:29:59 PDT

just so you know, I am friends with people who are polite and share my interests. So please don't critisise them.

]]> ~buddly20032000 http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/13017079/ http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/13017079/ Sat, 19 May 2007 18:55:00 PDT Anyone got a good avvy they don't use? I keep having trouble with the images i download

*edit*

Nevermind problem solved

]]> ~buddly20032000 http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/13010637/ http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/13010637/ Sat, 19 May 2007 08:15:08 PDT

1)*******Am I********
Am I sweet?-
Am I crazy?-
Am I lovable?-
Am I funny?-
Am I ugly?-
Am I an asshole?-
Am I hot?-
Am I psycho?-
Am I annoying?-
Am I a good person?-
Am I a bad person?-
Am I a dork?-

2)******Would You******
Hug me?-
Kiss me?-
Love me?-
Miss me if i was gone?-
Listen to my problems?-
Hug me if i cried?-
Be a good friend?-

3)******If You Could...******
Give me a new name it would be?-
Change any thing about me?-
Do one thing with me it would be?-
Drop me one piece of advice it would be?-

4)******Just A Few Questions******
What do you like/love about me?-
What do you hate about me?-
What is my best quality?-

********Yourself********

1. Who are you?-
2. Do you have a crush on me?-
3. How old are you?-
4. Are we good friends?-
5. Do we know each other in real life?-
6. Are you hot?-
7. Is my avatar hot?-
8. Will you put this in your journal so i can answer these questions about you!?-

]]> ~buddly20032000 http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/13004238/ http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/13004238/ Fri, 18 May 2007 17:50:37 PDT
]]> ~buddly20032000 http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/12997417/ http://buddly20032000.deviantart.com/journal/12997417/ Fri, 18 May 2007 05:53:43 PDT
]]> ~buddly20032000