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        <title>deviantART: by:character101</title>
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        <pubDate>Sat, 12 Dec 2009 00:48:11 PST</pubDate>        
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                  <item>
                <title>20 now</title>
                <link>http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/25870328/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/25870328/</guid>
                <pubDate>Fri, 10 Jul 2009 22:24:56 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ hi all <img src="http://e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/smile.gif" width="15" height="15" alt=":)" title=":) (Smile)" /><br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~character101</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Psycho Killer Raccoons Terrorize Olympia</title>
                <link>http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/9819571/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/9819571/</guid>
                <pubDate>Tue, 22 Aug 2006 18:43:55 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Psycho Killer Raccoons Terrorize Olympia<br />
By Associated Press<br />
<br />
Tue Aug 22, 9:52 AM<br />
<br />
OLYMPIA, Washington - A fierce group of raccoons has killed 10 cats, attacked a small dog and bitten at least one pet owner who had to get rabies shots, residents of Olympia say.<br />
<br />
Some have taken to carrying pepper spray to ward off the masked marauders and the woman who was bitten now carries an iron pipe when she goes outside at night.<br />
<br />
"It's a new breed," said Tamara Keeton, who with Kari Hall started a raccoon watch after an emotional neighborhood meeting drew 40 people. "They're urban raccoons, and they're not afraid."<br />
<br />
Tony Benjamins, whose family lost two cats, said he got a big dog _ a German Shepherd-Rottweiler mix _ to keep the raccoons away.<br />
<br />
One goal of the patrol is to get residents to stop feeding raccoons and to keep pets and pet food indoors.<br />
<br />
Lisann Rolle said she began carrying an iron pipe when she goes outside at night after being bitten by raccoons when she tried to pull three of them off her cat Lucy. She obtained rabies shots afterward as a precaution.<br />
<br />
"I was watching her like a hawk, but she snuck out," Rolle said. "Then I heard this hideous sound _ a coyote-type high pitch ... It was vicious. They were focused on ripping her apart."<br />
<br />
The attacks have been especially shocking because raccoons came within five feet (1 1/2 meters) of cats without any problem in previous years, Benjamins said.<br />
<br />
"We used to love the raccoons. They'd have their babies this time of year, and they were so cute. Even though we lived in the city, it was neat to have wildlife around," he said, "but this year, things changed. They went nuts."<br />
<br />
In one case five raccoons tried to carry off a small dog, which managed to survive.<br />
<br />
The attacks, all within a three-block area near the Garfield Nature Trail in Olympia, are highly unusual, said Sean O. Carrell, a problem wildlife coordinator with the state Department of Fish and Wildlife, adding that trappers may be summoned from the U.S. Department of Agriculture to remove problem animals.<br />
<br />
"I've never heard a report of 10 cats being killed. It's something were going to have to monitor," Carrell said.<br />
<br />
Meanwhile, residents have hired Tom Brown, a nuisance wildlife control operator from Rochester, Washington, to set traps, but in six weeks he has caught only one raccoon. He and Carrell said raccoons teach their young _ and each other _ to avoid traps.<br />
<br />
Brown said he had seen packs of raccoons this big but none so into killing.<br />
<br />
"They are in command up there," he said. ]]></description>
                <author>~character101</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>y</title>
                <link>http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/8002530/</link>
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                <pubDate>Sat, 25 Feb 2006 19:31:20 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ <a href="http://mehmeturgut.deviantart.com/gallery/">[link]</a><br />
<br />
i need this address for when i get home, ignore it, I'll delete it later ]]></description>
                <author>~character101</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>i'm (edit) GAH!</title>
                <link>http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/7680291/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/7680291/</guid>
                <pubDate>Tue, 24 Jan 2006 12:49:53 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ so fucking cool i wish everyone could be like me not really.<br />
<br />
I didn't write that!!! it was my boyfriends <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/letters/=p.gif" width="15" height="15" alt=":P" title=":P (Lick)" /> ha! try and figure out my new password ben!!! ]]></description>
                <author>~character101</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Downhill</title>
                <link>http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/7630800/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/7630800/</guid>
                <pubDate>Tue, 17 Jan 2006 14:32:01 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ It's all going down. meh, I kind of expected it to though so whatever. I fix something with one person and then there's five more who have problems with me. My best friends can't even talk to me about it? People think I'm using them, others think I'm too busy for them, one is having trouble with their feelings with me... he's the only one who can talk to me about it though? I never see him, but he can talk to me, but someone I've loved since second grade can't even tell me staight up how they're feeling? I mean common people. Oh and that supposed MONTH I havn't hung out with you guys... yeah well I figured it out : I hung out with you guys in the beginning of december right? well then every weekend after that I either had christmas family stuff or Adri was visiting, and when someone lives that far away from you, then you want to spend as much time as possible with them. Like when Abby was in brainerd, I always dropped everything to be with her. It's just how I am. And what you said about how most of my stress is coming from Ben... and that I could avoid that. No, that stuff is part of a relationship, you need these things for the relationship to grow and get stronger. Because if you havn't noticed... I'm in love with Ben, I love him so much. I'd say more than 90% of the time I AM happy with him. Just because there's a few hard weeks means nothing to me, there's alot more time for things to be great for us. Breaking up just isn't an option for me. And another thing : NONE of you should ever not tell me something because you think I will cut... I mean come on, just fucking tell me, you have no idea how much it infuriates me when people tell me that they're scared to tell me something because of that. I didn't want this to sound mean or like I'm mad or anything... but reading it over it sounds like it... I'm really not mad... just kind of hurt... but then I did hurt you guys too, and I am so sorry. But seriously please I begging you, just talk to me okay? ]]></description>
                <author>~character101</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Popcorn</title>
                <link>http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/7574353/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/7574353/</guid>
                <pubDate>Wed, 11 Jan 2006 13:52:50 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Stayed home today, needed a day off, sleep did nothing for me though. This screwing up thing is starting to get out of hand, it's not "screwing up" anymore, it's happening more and more again, and I'd like to do it again right now, but I'm holding it off because I don't want to have to tell Ben. I'm just not a very happy person right now and it needs to stop soon. I can't believe I didn't cry...Pissed Ben off last night... really really pissed him off. Gah can't get over it, but I won't make that mistake again. Worst feeling in the world : knowing he's mad at me. I feel like I've been neglecting my friends latly, I'm sorry guys. I've never been good with dividing my time.<br />
<br />
1291 deviations to look at >.< ]]></description>
                <author>~character101</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Lacking</title>
                <link>http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/7510486/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/7510486/</guid>
                <pubDate>Wed, 04 Jan 2006 17:28:44 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ I've felt ishy the past few weeks, ugg. I've seen Ben alot though and that's never bad <3 I'm worried about a million people right now and my appetite is lacking. I'm tired though and will be going to bed at like 8 or 830, after I talk to jacks, get my homework done and call to say goodnight to ben. Hopefully tomorrow will be stress free? I get to go to ben's so that's a plus <3 Sorry I havn't really been all that active here on DA latly, I had 1043 deviations a few days ago, got through 200 and gave up... ugg... don't worry, I'll get through them eventually. ]]></description>
                <author>~character101</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>yesterday</title>
                <link>http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/7429792/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/7429792/</guid>
                <pubDate>Tue, 27 Dec 2005 09:17:14 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Bad day, yesterday was a bad day. I was talking to ben about new years, and my bipolar decided to be a bitch. I got up abruptly and took some excedrin and when i came back my mood was completely changed, i think that's the happiest I've ever been. but the thing is that when i went to go to bed i layed there for an hour and couldn't stop crying, i was shaking and i couldn't stop my racing thoughts. i started searching my room for my sleeping pills, but couldn't find them, which made me more paniced. so i called ben, it took about 2 hours for me to calm down. we talked about alot of stuff, some of the stuff im sorry for... god im so sorry. but after we hung up it only took about 30 minutes for me to fall asleep, and i dont know what im doing today... which sucks...but i know i have coffee tonight... but i dont know if emma knows <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/f/frown.gif" width="15" height="15" alt=":(" title=":( (Sad)" /> i want to see her. you think you have someone who can cheer you up instantly? you dont know what that means until you've met emma <3 ]]></description>
                <author>~character101</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>bad and good</title>
                <link>http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/7410855/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/7410855/</guid>
                <pubDate>Sun, 25 Dec 2005 07:17:11 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Bad things that happened this week<br />
- jack's grandpa<br />
- chey left<br />
- ben got mad at me for walking<br />
- I didn't think ben would be able to come for christmas eve<br />
- I got really sick on christmas eve after ben left<br />
- had ups and downs I couldn't control<br />
- ben was sad<br />
- jacks is leaving today<br />
- had that numb useless feeling on friday, for an hour<br />
- had trouble sleeping all week except for last night<br />
- feel like I'm going to throw up right now...<br />
- feels extremely dizzy<br />
- wants to go to ben's tomorrow but doesn't know if it's possible<br />
- worried so much this week it made me sick<br />
<br />
<br />
Good things that happened this week<br />
- I got my totally awesome shoes<br />
- noodle came home<br />
- fell asleep at 9 last night<br />
- slept with the stuffed animals ben got me last night<br />
- got fucking awesome presents from everone<br />
- adore the braceletes kim got me <3<br />
- steve's grandma made me food which I would like to eat in one sitting but ben won't let me >.<<br />
- don't have to go to church this morning, everyone is sick and I almost threw up<br />
- choir concert went very well<br />
- took jacks out to eat<br />
- got my hair cut and I love it<br />
- more presents to open today at my grandmas<br />
- wine tastes good<br />
- brandon gave me a really awesome card <3<br />
<br />
they pretty much neutrilize eachother out <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/s/smile.gif" width="15" height="15" alt=":)" title=":) (Smile)" /> ]]></description>
                <author>~character101</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Break the tradition</title>
                <link>http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/7395105/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/7395105/</guid>
                <pubDate>Fri, 23 Dec 2005 18:19:24 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Tomorrow we open presents XD My parents waited til today to wrap them in fear of the cats eating them... which they would... we all know it. Ben is coming, my parents bought him a present, my sister's boyfriend Chris is coming too, they also bought him a present. Lots of food, lots of presents, lots of love. Then Sunday it will be the same, cept Ben and Chris won't be there. We will be going to my grandma's, hopefully we won't have to go to church. My arm really hurtsa and I shouldn't be typing but oh well <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/letters/=p.gif" width="15" height="15" alt=":P" title=":P (Lick)" /> I want to type so I'm going to. Still havn't seen Noodle and I've been here for 10 hours, no Noodle hug yet <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/f/frown.gif" width="15" height="15" alt=":(" title=":( (Sad)" /> Damn him. Good news though! My computer is fixed    I have my beloved photoshop back Do you have any idea how happy this makes me? But then there's other things that are bugging me to the extreme. Like Ben, he feels ishy and I know he still does, and that makes me sad, especially since I'm the cause... gah. And then on top of it he had to have a dream about it?! What the fuck is that. He doesn't have to worry, nothing will happen, and I know this but I also know that no matter how much I tell him not to worry he still will. I took Jacks out to lunch today at Lee Ann Chin, totally hit the spot. I'm glad I was able to help her get out of the house and do something, not to mention eat some fantastic food, good choice darling. I'm keeping my promise Ragamuffin  I love you so much. I miss Chey, and holy hell do I miss Adri  She needs to visit soon. ]]></description>
                <author>~character101</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>I am the llama awesomeness &lt;3</title>
                <link>http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/7365224/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/7365224/</guid>
                <pubDate>Tue, 20 Dec 2005 15:43:35 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Today's my birthday, and I fucking rock <3 ]]></description>
                <author>~character101</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Where the sidewalk ends</title>
                <link>http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/7188451/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/7188451/</guid>
                <pubDate>Wed, 30 Nov 2005 18:29:47 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ "Ickle me, Pickle me, Tickle me too"<br />
<br />
Ickle me, Pickle me, Tickle me too<br />
Went for a ride in a shoe.<br />
"Hooray!"<br />
"What fun!"<br />
"It's time we flew!"<br />
Said Ickle me, Pickle me, Tickle me too.<br />
<br />
Ickle was captain, and Pickle was crew<br />
And Tickle served coffee and mulligan stew<br />
As higher<br />
And higher<br />
And higher they flew,<br />
Ickle me, Pickle me, Tickle me too<br />
<br />
Ickle me, Pickle me, Tickle me too,<br />
Over the sun and beyond the blue.<br />
"Hold on!"<br />
"Stay in!"<br />
"I hope we do!"<br />
Cried Ickle me, Pickle me, Tickle me too.<br />
<br />
Ickle me, Pickle me, Tickle me too<br />
Never returned to the world they knew,<br />
And nobody<br />
Knows what's<br />
Happened to<br />
Dear Ickle me, Pickle me, Tickle me too. ]]></description>
                <author>~character101</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Juke Box</title>
                <link>http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/7160078/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/7160078/</guid>
                <pubDate>Sun, 27 Nov 2005 16:26:01 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ friday, saterday and sunday were spent with ben. friday and saterday were spent with adri and steven also. saterday was also spent with the chandie <3 pretty good weekend over all. I feel like shit now, but I'm sure sleep will cure that. next weekend i wont have any time to myself considering that all weekend I have the madrigal dinner to attend to. I'm excited but the thought of it just exhaust's me cuz I know how exhausted I'll be on the monday after that. it's been a month. I think since the last time I did it. but oh god it's getting hard. I want to so badly. if you don't know what I'm talking about I'm not going to explain it. people are proud of me, but all I can think about is how much I want to do it. ugg. ]]></description>
                <author>~character101</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>long long long</title>
                <link>http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/7098664/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/7098664/</guid>
                <pubDate>Sun, 20 Nov 2005 16:53:51 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ I need to take a walk, not alone this time though. I want a walk with ben. Right now cuz it's dark and it's harder to see me in the dark. last night I took a walk, but I was alone, and that's how I felt. I just figured it out now, last night I felt so alone. I didn't know what it was last night though. But it never makes any sense why I get in those moods, it always happens when I'm surrounded by friends. I think I'm gonna get off these pills. I'm sick of pills that don't do what they're supposed to do but instead do a million other things to make me feel like complete shit. I thought I was doing perfectly fine without them. I wasn't dead or anything, I was fine. but I guess "fine" isn't enough for them, they have to be able to see that I'm happy. but I am, it's just that they force things out of me that I don't want to talk about that makes me sad in front of them. that's why I always appear sad in front of them, but they don't realize that, I'm gonna tell them the next time I see them.<br />
<br />
this weekend~<br />
was so fucking awesome. I got to see adri all weekend <3 I missed her so much, this morning I woke up feeling so sad knowing she was leaving again. But she'll come again. I'm looking forward to it. Steven was so happy and I was so happy for him. spent most of the weekend with abby, adri, steven, chey, jacks and ben. I love them all.chey and ellis seem to be doing very well which makes me super happy for her. we went and saw "saw 2" ugh, that movie did things to me (some of you know what) and even now I can't get it out of my head. I havn't done it... but that's why it's still there in the back of my mind. whatever. ugh. change of subject. I loved being with ben most of the weekend... nothing makes me happier. ]]></description>
                <author>~character101</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Careful</title>
                <link>http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/7057385/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/7057385/</guid>
                <pubDate>Tue, 15 Nov 2005 18:06:44 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ This song always does wierd things to me. I don't know if you know it? Shinedown's "45" if not... <a href="http://videocodes4u.com/song.php?file=43803">[link]</a>  uck. I feel so shitty today and I can't shake it. I'm not sure what I should do. These pills don't help shit. I'm such a shitty friend... I can't believe how I've been acting. I think I'm gonna keep to myself tomorrow... I need a good cry. I won't be getting that anytime soon though. I want an empty stomach. I want more sleep. I want less pills. Most of all I want time away. I need time away from everyone. Everyone. I can't have that either. Oh well, I can go a bit longer. I'm content with my life, I really am, I love my life. I just have some complaints and problems. Gah. This entry doesn't make any sense... ]]></description>
                <author>~character101</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>dust bunnies</title>
                <link>http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/7036025/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/7036025/</guid>
                <pubDate>Sun, 13 Nov 2005 16:23:02 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ I swept this morning and I named all the dust bunnies I found. But now I can't remember their names, and they're all dead.<br />
<br />
oh. and ben and I have been together for 6 months now <3 I love you. ]]></description>
                <author>~character101</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Today</title>
                <link>http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/6988922/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/6988922/</guid>
                <pubDate>Tue, 08 Nov 2005 09:17:59 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Today you can find me in my pajamas wrapped in the my most favorite blanky from my most favorite person. Today you can find my hair curly and dissaray. Today you can find me sick and tired to the extreme. Today you can find me listening to sappy songs, cuz I miss my ragamuffin. ]]></description>
                <author>~character101</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>ha.</title>
                <link>http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/6927664/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/6927664/</guid>
                <pubDate>Tue, 01 Nov 2005 15:49:32 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ I'm.... in that mood again, but that could be because I'm so fucking tired. I'm in this I don't care mood and I'm sorry to chey, jacks and abby especially for being such a bitch today. Halloween was awesome, tons of candy. I love being with ben, everyone lokked fucking adorable <3 I would put pictures up... but I can't find my fucking cord. Nothing went right today. I hope chey's date goes well. I hope I can talk to ben tonight too... I really need to. I can't wait til this weekend so I can leave, and be gone all weekend... this house is really getting to me and I hate it. but it can't really be helped. Today I was trying to imagine what it would be like if I didn't have ben... I couldn't see it. And with my imagination that's saying something...<br />
<br />
deviations soon.<br />
<br />
by the way, that last entry wasn't written by me. my boyfriend was a lil.... dizzy... and decided to go on my site and sabotage it. ]]></description>
                <author>~character101</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>do</title>
                <link>http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/6900729/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/6900729/</guid>
                <pubDate>Sat, 29 Oct 2005 19:28:21 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ you know that i had to see ben and it was horrible, all he could do is talk about himself and i wanted to kill him! "fuck" ]]></description>
                <author>~character101</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>glorbbbbb</title>
                <link>http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/6836327/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/6836327/</guid>
                <pubDate>Sat, 22 Oct 2005 11:43:33 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ haven't updated in a while. ben and I got in a in a big fight and are great now. no worries. <3 I love you ben. adri is coming soon!! today!! I can't wait to see her!! I love my adri!! I stopped taking prozac, it made me sick all the time. now they have me on wellbutrin. let's see how that goes.<br />
<br />
edit! today is me sistas celebrating of the birthdays!! which means noelley gets some winey, and is happy...yyy. i love the wine, i loves it. god i hope i can see ben today<br />
<br />
edit again!! adri isnt coming **cries** ]]></description>
                <author>~character101</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>so many swears...</title>
                <link>http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/6804528/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/6804528/</guid>
                <pubDate>Tue, 18 Oct 2005 19:15:24 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. I'm sick of this shit. fuck you. of all the times you could do this...you chose now? what the hell am I supposed to do? fuck you. ]]></description>
                <author>~character101</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>feelings anymore,</title>
                <link>http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/6708096/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/6708096/</guid>
                <pubDate>Fri, 07 Oct 2005 21:54:12 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ why the fuck does this always happen? why do I get like this? I'm fucking sick of feeling like this and making other people feel like shit. I'm sorry Ben. I can't control these feelings anymore, they just keep coming out. ]]></description>
                <author>~character101</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Heart attack</title>
                <link>http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/6697070/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/6697070/</guid>
                <pubDate>Thu, 06 Oct 2005 16:39:40 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ I feel weird about you right now. and it sucks. I'm sorry. This week just wasn't my week. I have all these crazy urges. I can't wait to change my appearance. My hair is in desperate need of a makeover. Can't wait to get it done. Maybe I'll do that next week. I need something to change, and soon. ]]></description>
                <author>~character101</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Just go</title>
                <link>http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/6669382/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/6669382/</guid>
                <pubDate>Tue, 04 Oct 2005 04:21:38 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ V  just go to that site  V<br />
<br />
okays... let's try this agin <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/letters/=p.gif" width="15" height="15" alt=":P" title=":P (Lick)" /><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.xanga.com/ragdollhands">[link]</a> ]]></description>
                <author>~character101</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Grainy like</title>
                <link>http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/6610102/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/6610102/</guid>
                <pubDate>Mon, 26 Sep 2005 17:25:36 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ You know the feeling when you look one way and it feels like someone cracked you over the head with a baseball bat?<br />
Then you look the other way and someone's stabbed you.<br />
It hurts.<br />
It's gotta be a migraine.<br />
My grainy head.<br />
Like someone's rubbing sand on my brain.<br />
I feel compressed, and if I eat something<br />
I'll explode.<br />
Starving isn't fun, but neither is exploding.<br />
This way I won't have to pick myself up off the ground. ]]></description>
                <author>~character101</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Corpse Bride</title>
                <link>http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/6598643/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/6598643/</guid>
                <pubDate>Sun, 25 Sep 2005 12:32:16 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ This weekend was full of fun and stuff. Corpse bride was the awesome. I got to see Ben everyday this weekend <3 It was awesome waking up and being able to see him right away <3 <3 <3 God, this weekend fucking rocked. Abby's gonna be here all week! Which makes me extremely happy, also this week is homecoming week, you know what that means? WACKY DAY! Brian said I should dress normal, cuz I already dress wacky  I feel kinda shitty but it's to be expected since I had such great weekend. Wish I could do this every weekend.<br />
<br />
<br />
There's some pictures to this entry too but I don't know how to do that on here. So check out my xanga for the photos <3<br />
<a href="http://www.xanga.com/ragdollhands">[link]</a> ]]></description>
                <author>~character101</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Down</title>
                <link>http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/6546477/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/6546477/</guid>
                <pubDate>Mon, 19 Sep 2005 14:21:32 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ I'm sitting in my room,<br />
with nothing making sound other than the bubbles reaching the top of my pepsi.<br />
I'm making nothing easy on myself.<br />
All day I've been trying to ignore these thoughts.<br />
As this water drips down my chest I just let the thoughts go.<br />
I'll let them mingle til they are done with me.<br />
And be gone.<br />
I can recuperate.<br />
I can regenerate.<br />
Knowing the meaning of life, baby, will take us everywhere.<br />
We will live until we die.<br />
As I lay my head against the wall I feel huge.<br />
As if I'm Alice fetching that damned rabbit some scissors.<br />
I have this huge urge to walk to your house so you can check to see if my heart is still beating. ]]></description>
                <author>~character101</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>bouncy</title>
                <link>http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/6422502/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/6422502/</guid>
                <pubDate>Mon, 05 Sep 2005 11:54:51 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ I spent 12 hours with Ben yesterday and I couldn't be happier. It was amazing, there's something about being held in his arms that makes me feel this insane saftey. It's like nothing could hurt me. lol, **blushes**.  I am so extremely happy right now. Tomorrow school starts, wow, a whole summer has already passed. Crazy. Went and saw "Red Eye" yesterday, not the best movie but it was still good. ]]></description>
                <author>~character101</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>The Line Begins to Blur + more</title>
                <link>http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/6355542/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/6355542/</guid>
                <pubDate>Sun, 28 Aug 2005 23:11:44 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ so I havn't had time to update in a while. turns out there was no saving my photos. 1700 pictures I had taken were on my personal computer, well the original hard that was in there decided one day that everything on it was not important. so that means every single photo I have taken over this year and a half are gone, and will never be coming back. the little fucker. so right now I am without proper tools to do things with my photos. I now know that I relied on my photoshop way to much! I miss you photoshop!!! this is my journal entry for xanga and myspace today.<br />
<br />
~I am so uncomfortable with myself right now. I don't know what to do, I've been typing like mad trying to focus on something else, but it isn't working. I'm pretty sure that it's myself that's driving myself crazy, but that's okay, at least I know what it is. I need to change my xanga and myspace profiles. I can't decide on anything for sure right now, I can't stop moving. Adri is coming on tuesday and I'm so excited!! I can't wait to see her. Ben is.... I don't know. Hopefully this will all pass soon. I need some good sleep. Love is not enough right now.<br />
<br />
p.s. jacks and chey, I had fun with yous guys!! I love you!! <3~ ]]></description>
                <author>~character101</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Maybe a nightmare is in order here.</title>
                <link>http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/6107817/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/6107817/</guid>
                <pubDate>Tue, 02 Aug 2005 01:03:34 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ So let me fall asleep in these sexy panties, and this sexy blanky. Let me dream about you and clouds we can cuddle with eachother on. Let the rain fall on our faces so we can feel freedom again, let us sleep the day away and awake to the stars falling from the sky. We can smash some glass bottles together and listen to the magical sounds they make. Let's have a contest on who can throw rocks the furthest into the lake. And we'll confess our deepest darkest secrets in whispers. ]]></description>
                <author>~character101</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Do I shoot?</title>
                <link>http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/6105227/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/6105227/</guid>
                <pubDate>Mon, 01 Aug 2005 19:37:06 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Too much twisty swirlyness around and around my tables of northern new hampshire. Too many tiring pillars and mugs. The light shines brightly on your horse and let's itself moo away. Well fuck your light and your moo horse. Take a look at those blue and purple polkaness scissors please. Cut a heart out of red paper for me please. Smile for my soul please. This world is far too round at the moment, let me walk off the edge so that might I fly away from this bed of sickness and computers. and radios and such. Let's drink too much water together and we'll fly over people and turn grey and rain our feelings upon them so maybe they will know what it's like. Eat my cd and I'll bite your face. ]]></description>
                <author>~character101</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Too much is bad.</title>
                <link>http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/6012433/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/6012433/</guid>
                <pubDate>Sat, 23 Jul 2005 11:29:35 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Tap tap tap. Fingernails are odd. Toenails are kinda gross. Unlike their sister, the toenails look gross long. Toenails are jealous of fingernails, but who can blame them? Thanks for not calling me again, my darling darling boyfriend. No really, thankyou. I'm so happy you didn't. PLEASE, don't call. Does reverse psychology ever work? Enough sauce in your socks? ]]></description>
                <author>~character101</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>wasted in buuuuggggys</title>
                <link>http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/5958829/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/5958829/</guid>
                <pubDate>Sun, 17 Jul 2005 12:23:18 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Smoked the last one last night, wish I would've saved it, but it doesn't matter. I feel like shit and I want more sleep. I feel obsessive, but I can't help it. I think he worries me too much and maybe it isn't worth it, but I don't care. Yummy yummy macaroni and cheese in Noofle's tummy? Yummy yummy bugs in my tummy. I LOOOOOOOOOVVVVEE FRUIT SNACKS. I don't love bugs in my tummy though. ]]></description>
                <author>~character101</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Only</title>
                <link>http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/5896333/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/5896333/</guid>
                <pubDate>Sun, 10 Jul 2005 16:11:55 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ This is too much. ]]></description>
                <author>~character101</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Bite marks</title>
                <link>http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/5891416/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/5891416/</guid>
                <pubDate>Sun, 10 Jul 2005 01:41:27 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ I can't believe how worried I am about Ben right now. He ran away and I talked to his mom earlier today and she said he was fine and she knew he would be staying in a safe place tonight, but I think I need to hear him say he's safe, cuz it's 3 40 am and I'm not gonna get any sleep. This really sucks. ]]></description>
                <author>~character101</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Bend</title>
                <link>http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/5871079/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/5871079/</guid>
                <pubDate>Thu, 07 Jul 2005 20:15:13 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ don't get bent out of shape he says. I'll show you fucking bent out of shape. ]]></description>
                <author>~character101</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Disarm you with a Smile</title>
                <link>http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/5850790/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/5850790/</guid>
                <pubDate>Tue, 05 Jul 2005 19:58:57 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ I have had enough. I don't need anymore of this shitty shitty feeling okay? I know you aren't trying to hurt me and all but in case you didn't know and I don't think you do, this always happens. I am actually happy for once and then someone makes me feel guilty about it. That's not how it's supposed to be, I'm not supposed to feel bad about being happy. And then do you know what I do when I feel that way? Of course you do. I couldn't be anymore ashamed of myself. ]]></description>
                <author>~character101</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>something but nothing.</title>
                <link>http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/5792986/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/5792986/</guid>
                <pubDate>Wed, 29 Jun 2005 16:11:53 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ This is what I wrote last night at coffee on a piece of paper out of Abby's notebook. This is word for word.<br />
<br />
~~~"with all your homework in it"<br />
I know I said it but everything I've said today is a dream. Like I just said something but I don't remember what it was. I'm shaking, I've been shaking all day, it's kinda getting annoying now. 3 cigarettes in 15 minutes is bad for you and other people. Everyone seems to be angry at me all the time now. nothing seems to calm me down anymore, even the thoughts that used to help me out just don't anymore. I can barely read my own handwriting. I can't fucking control my hand it just keeps going. and going. Swirls are everywhere. nothing makes sense. I'm supposed to be happy right now. I'm with people I love but still I feel like shit. I am shit. I'm sick of feeling this way and I'm sick of acting this way. I hope by the end of the day everyone hates me. hate me. I want to scream. I looked in the mirror when I went to the bathroom, a normal occurance ya know? a normal occurance except this time it wasn't normal. I can't recognize myself. everything is moving more slowly now but I don't feel any better. it's all the same. it's all the same. it's all the same. it's all insane. it's all fucked up. it's all... it's all normal. Supposedly I thought I was done writing. So I tore out the page, but now I'm writing even more of this shit. negative SHIT. shit, shit, shit. Again I've taken out this damn piece of paper to write nothing. something but nothing. ~~~<br />
<br />
keep in mind this was written last night and I feel a bit different. I recognize myself in the mirror and such. it's all good. whatever. I still feel like shit though. no appetite can do shit to you, along with no sleep. but lucky me, I got 12 hours last night. ha, my body's trying to catch up, you'll never do it body, you'll never do it.<br />
<br />
I need you here, I need to hear your voice, I need you. Just give me a call, please. ]]></description>
                <author>~character101</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>switch</title>
                <link>http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/5777228/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/5777228/</guid>
                <pubDate>Mon, 27 Jun 2005 23:57:55 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Something to write... I'm tired, of alot of things, I'm tired of getting very little sleep and I'm tired of being super emotional about everything. I keep finding myself picking at scabs... I've had huge urges the past few days and they aren't going away. So many things would be so much easier if people didn't care. I could do whatever I wanted. Maybe I just need sleep. Maybe after I wake up later today I'll delete this entry. ]]></description>
                <author>~character101</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Ohio is for Lovers</title>
                <link>http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/5765748/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/5765748/</guid>
                <pubDate>Sun, 26 Jun 2005 20:20:43 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ today... was great and all. the movies was great, I finally got to see ben for the first time in forever, which was totally awesome except for they murdered my slinky **cries** then I got home and my dad was extremely stressed out which stressed me out, then we got back from renting movies and my dad was freaking out cuz cj and brian were there early and I told brian not to come til I called but they came anyway and because they did, my father exactly how I knew he would and I was in tears. this day was all too stressfull in the end. I don't know what to do with myself anymore. my friends are tearing themselves apart and there's nothing I can do. which makes me want to tear myself apart... sometimes it's just too much to take. I havn't cut in almost 2 months, which is pretty fucking good if you ask me. I've never done that good ever. sometimes though it feels like no one cares, and sometimes it feels like there is nothing really there for me to care about anymore...but then there are certain people I think about and then theres no doubts anymore. ben I love you so much... ]]></description>
                <author>~character101</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Thanks</title>
                <link>http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/5705733/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/5705733/</guid>
                <pubDate>Mon, 20 Jun 2005 15:37:33 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ I feel like shit. I am so exhausted. So many people called me today, everyone except the one person I wanted to hear from. ugg. Whatever. I guess it doesn't matter. Sorry for the waste of your time.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~character101</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>So fucking tired</title>
                <link>http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/5696815/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/5696815/</guid>
                <pubDate>Sun, 19 Jun 2005 17:28:13 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ lol. nevermind, I believe the lovely lady has explained ^.^ I am exhausted and I just want to sleep. I miss ben, I really want to see him... I just wanna hear his voice...<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~character101</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>How soon is now?</title>
                <link>http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/5675191/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/5675191/</guid>
                <pubDate>Fri, 17 Jun 2005 09:37:55 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ longest freakin' journal entry ever. We're gonna go get abby in like 6 hours!!!! OMG!!! I can't wait to see her!! I miss ben <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/f/frown.gif" width="15" height="15" alt=":(" title=":( (Sad)" /> I wish he would call me <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/f/frown.gif" width="15" height="15" alt=":(" title=":( (Sad)" /> *hint*  Yes there is still a little bit of paint in my hair. lmao!! that was so much fun! Except my tummy hurts now from the lil bit of paint I swallowed <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/f/frown.gif" width="15" height="15" alt=":(" title=":( (Sad)" /> I saw my therapist yesterday and she gave me lots of good advice... now if only I could remember what she said...<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~character101</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>You're mom</title>
                <link>http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/5670363/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/5670363/</guid>
                <pubDate>Thu, 16 Jun 2005 19:52:21 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ ha ha!!! head!!!<br /><br />Your full name: noelle gineva robertson<br />
Age: 16<br />
Height: i dunno<br />
Natural hair colour: Brown<br />
Eye colour: Brown<br />
Number of siblings: 4<br />
Glasses/contacts?:contacts<br />
Piercings: My ears<br />
Tattoos: not yet<br />
Braces?: no<br />
<br />
FAVOURITE<br />
Colour: green<br />
Band: NIN<br />
Song: don't know<br />
Stuffed animal: my bunny!!!<br />
Video game:fucking mario brothers for 64<br />
TV show: invader zim<br />
Movie:american beauty<br />
Book: diary by chuck<br />
Food: chinese food<br />
Game on a cell phone:snake<br />
CD cover:dont know<br />
Flower: rose<br />
Scent: yummy ones<br />
Animal: penguin<br />
Comic book:jthm<br />
Cereal: ish<br />
Website: deviant<br />
Cartoon: invader zim!!!<br />
<br />
DO YOU<br />
Play an instrument?: no<br />
Watch TV more than 60 hours a week?:yeah<br />
Like to sing?: yes<br />
Have a job?: im trying<br />
Have a cell phone?:no<br />
Like to play sports?: some<br />
Have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: yeah<br />
Have a crush on someone?: yes<br />
Live somewhere NOT in the united states?: no<br />
Have more than 5 TVs in your house?: no<br />
Have any special talents/skills?: sure<br />
Excercise daily?: sometimes<br />
Like school?: most of the time<br />
<br />
CAN YOU<br />
Sing the alphabet backwards?: yes but it will take me awhile<br />
Stand on your tip toes without wearing shoes?:yes but it hurts<br />
Speak any other languages?: a little french<br />
Go a day without food?: yes<br />
Stay up for more than 24 hours?: yes<br />
Read music, not just tabs?:yes<br />
Roll your tongue?: yes.<br />
Eat a whole pizza?: yeah<br />
<br />
HAVE YOU EVER<br />
Snuck out of the house?: yes<br />
Cried to get out of trouble?: rofl<br />
Gotten lost in your city?: yes<br />
Seen a shooting star?: yes<br />
Been to any other countries besides the united states?: no<br />
Had a serious surgery?:no<br />
Stolen something important to someone else?: no<br />
Solved a rubiks cube?: no<br />
Gone out in public in your pajamas?: yes<br />
Cried over a girl?: yes<br />
Cried over a boy?: yes, too many times...<br />
Kissed a random stranger?: no<br />
Hugged a random stranger?: yes.<br />
Been in a fist fight?: do i look like someone who wants to get their ass kicked?<br />
Been arrested?: no<br />
Done drugs?: no<br />
Had alcohol?: yes<br />
Laughed and had milk come out of your nose?: yes. chocolate.<br />
Pushed all the buttons on an elevator?: yes<br />
Gone to school only to find you had the day off because of a holiday/etc?: no<br />
Swore at your parents?:yeah, well not AT them<br />
Been to warped tour?: nope<br />
Kicked a guy where it hurts?: yes. ACCIDENT!!! I SWEAR! lol... stupid chris...<br />
Been in love?: yes.<br />
Been close to love?: yes.<br />
Been to a casino?:no<br />
Ran over an animal and killed it?: yes <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/f/frown.gif" width="15" height="15" alt=":(" title=":( (Sad)" /> on my snowmobile <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/f/frown.gif" width="15" height="15" alt=":(" title=":( (Sad)" /> A lil mousy <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/f/frown.gif" width="15" height="15" alt=":(" title=":( (Sad)" /><br />
Broken a bone?:my pinky toe? 2 times<br />
Gotten stitches?:no<br />
Had a waterballoon fight in winter?: no<br />
Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour?: no<br />
Made homemade muffins?: yes.<br />
Bitten someone?: yes. lmao!! that's a question?!?!<br />
Been to disneyland/disneyworld?: no<br />
More than 5 times?: <br />
Been to niagra falls?: no<br />
Burped in someones face?: yes.<br />
Gotten the chicken pox?: yes.<br />
<br />
WHENS THE LAST TIME YOU<br />
Brushed your teeth: this morning<br />
Went to the bathroom: like 10 minutes ago<br />
Saw a movie in theaters: a couple weeks ago<br />
Read a book:last week<br />
Had a snow day: 8 th grade<br />
Had a party: my b day party? 5th grade<br />
Had a slumber party<img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/c/confused.gif" width="15" height="30" alt=":?" title=":? (Confused)" />????<br />
Made fun of someone:today, my friend<br />
Tripped in front of someone: everyday<br />
Went to the grocery store:quite a bit ago<br />
Got sick: yesterday<br />
Cursed:today<br />
<br />
PICK ONE<br />
Fruit/vegetables: Fruit<br />
Black/white: ahhhh<br />
Lights on/lights off: off.<br />
TV/movie: movie.<br />
Car/truck: truck.<br />
Body spray/lotion: spray<br />
Cash/check: cash<br />
Pillows/blankets:blankets<br />
Headache/stomach ache: head<br />
Paint/charcoal: charcoal<br />
Chinese food/mexican food: chinese<br />
Summer/winter: winter<br />
Snow/rain: snow<br />
Fog/misty: Fog<br />
Rock/rap: Rock<br />
Meat/vegetarian: meat<br />
Boy/girl: girl<br />
Chocolate/vanilla:chocolate<br />
Sprinkles/icing: icing<br />
Cake/pie: cake<br />
French toast/french fries: french toast<br />
Strawberries/blueberries: strawberries<br />
Ocean/swimming pool: ocean.<br />
Hugs/kisses: both<br />
C... ]]></description>
                <author>~character101</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Speed of Sound</title>
                <link>http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/5643233/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/5643233/</guid>
                <pubDate>Tue, 14 Jun 2005 04:56:17 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ The last time I looked at the clock last night it was 12:12 am. This morning when I woke up to the vaccuum the clock said 4:44 am. I need more sleep. ]]></description>
                <author>~character101</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Car Underwater</title>
                <link>http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/5639831/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/5639831/</guid>
                <pubDate>Mon, 13 Jun 2005 18:53:55 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ This bad mood is starting to get the best of me. I couldn't sleep last night. I can't stop thinking, all these thoughts are running. There was a technique my therapist told me to use when this happens... but I can't remember what it is. What good is a technique if I can't remember it when I need it? ]]></description>
                <author>~character101</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Existentialism on Prom Night</title>
                <link>http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/5627726/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/5627726/</guid>
                <pubDate>Sun, 12 Jun 2005 13:43:16 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Wow, that last entry was kinda intense... oops. I want you all to ask me a question, but only one. I will answer anything you want me to answer. Ask away, this is the only time this will happen. Well... probly not... lmao. Just ask. ]]></description>
                <author>~character101</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>It's because of you</title>
                <link>http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/5622152/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/5622152/</guid>
                <pubDate>Sat, 11 Jun 2005 21:11:42 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ I am so sick of you. You're such a fucking hypocrite. Shut the fuck up and stop begging for attention. If you want my help I'll help you. I'm so sick of everyone who's ever screwed me over and thought that they are so much better than me and can give me advice about shit they know nothing about! Fuck each and every one of you! I've been doing this for 3 years and you think that if you've "done it once" you can give me fucking advice?!?! Are you that fucking dense?! God damnit these nightmares are getting old, you and your stupid mental hold you have on me... still after 2 years is getting so old. I'm sick of you and your fucking lies. And most of all I'm sick of me. I can't stand myself. I hate this place, I these hands, I hate these fucking scars, they're everywhere, you say I'm so beautiful... but all I see are scars, and they're fucking ugly. Do you understand now? Why I think I'm so ugly? I ramble and rant too much. Sorry. Over all of this though... is Ben. And he overcomes it all, all I have to do is think about him, then there is no hate, there is only love. See how I've calmed down? It's because of him. ]]></description>
                <author>~character101</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Sunspots</title>
                <link>http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/5598571/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/5598571/</guid>
                <pubDate>Thu, 09 Jun 2005 11:56:25 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/h/heart.gif" width="15" height="13" alt=":heart:" title="Heart" /> I think I love you  <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/h/heart.gif" width="15" height="13" alt=":heart:" title="Heart" /> ]]></description>
                <author>~character101</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Baby</title>
                <link>http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/5573025/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/5573025/</guid>
                <pubDate>Mon, 06 Jun 2005 18:16:54 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ I'm worried. Even though I know there is no reason to worry, here I am worrying.  You better call me when you get home... or I'll kick your ass. ]]></description>
                <author>~character101</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Hi, I'm paranoid</title>
                <link>http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/5523657/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/5523657/</guid>
                <pubDate>Wed, 01 Jun 2005 17:07:31 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Damnit. Right in the middle of an entry  and the window decides it's just gonna  go "POOF" all gone. Alright, so there's  only 4 days and 2 half days left of  my  sophmore year. I'm so sad!!! So many  people I love are leaving <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/f/frown.gif" width="15" height="15" alt=":(" title=":( (Sad)" /> And I know  I'm hardly gonna be able to see Ben  this summer... well I quess just not as  much I would like.  <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/l/licking.gif" width="33" height="15" alt=":licking:" title="Lick me please!" />  Today was fun, we  played softball in phy ed and I  remembered how much fun it is to play.  Some one unzipped my pants today... <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/h/horny.gif" width="15" height="15" alt=":horny:" title="I AM HORNY!!!" />  ... not in school you little jerk... ]]></description>
                <author>~character101</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Island In The Sun</title>
                <link>http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/5502735/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/5502735/</guid>
                <pubDate>Mon, 30 May 2005 13:48:55 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ The room is spinning, I can't think  straight. I'm sorry. I need to learn to  calm myself down. I wish I could be  with you all the time, you make me so  happy, even though it doesn't seem like  it all the time. I'm happy in your  arms. I wish you were here Ben. Abby I  wish you were here too. <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/f/frown.gif" width="15" height="15" alt=":(" title=":( (Sad)" /> ]]></description>
                <author>~character101</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Be my escape</title>
                <link>http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/5460591/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/5460591/</guid>
                <pubDate>Wed, 25 May 2005 19:04:07 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ A PERFECT CIRCLE LYRICS<br />
<br />
"The Outsider"<br />
<br />
Help me if you can<br />
It's just that this, this is not the  way I'm wired<br />
So could you please,<br />
<br />
Help me understand why<br />
You've given in to all these<br />
Reckless dark desires<br />
<br />
You're lying to yourself again<br />
Suicidal imbecile<br />
Think about it, put it on the faultline<br />
What'll it take to get it through to  you precious<br />
I'm over this. Why do you wanna throw  it away like this<br />
Such a mess. Why would I want to watch  you.<br />
<br />
Disconnect and self destruct one bullet  at a time<br />
What's your rush now, everyone will  have his day to die<br />
<br />
Medicated, drama queen, picture  perfect, numb belligerence<br />
Narcissistic, drama queen, craving fame  and all its decadence<br />
<br />
Lying through your teeth again<br />
Suicidal imbecile<br />
Think about it, put it on the fautline<br />
What'll it take to get it through to  you precious<br />
Go with this, why do you wanna throw it  away like this<br />
Such a mess. Why would I wanna watch  you...<br />
<br />
Disconnect and self destruct one bullet  at a time<br />
What's your rush now, everyone will  have his day to die<br />
<br />
They were right about you<br />
They were right about you<br />
<br />
Lying to my face again<br />
Suicidal imbecile<br />
Think about it put it on the fautline<br />
What'll it take to get it through to  you precious<br />
I'm over this. Why do you wanna throw  it away like this<br />
Such a mess, I'm over this, over this!<br />
<br />
Disconnect and self destruct, one  bullet at a time<br />
What's your hurry, everyone will have  his day to die<br />
If you choose to pull the trigger,  should your drama prove sincere,<br />
Do it somewhere far away from here ]]></description>
                <author>~character101</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Once again I'm screwed</title>
                <link>http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/5431144/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/5431144/</guid>
                <pubDate>Sun, 22 May 2005 16:13:33 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ I got home from a trip to Lonville,  Minnesota and was greeted with a lovely  727 deviations to look at. This will  take a while. ]]></description>
                <author>~character101</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Try and believe him.</title>
                <link>http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/5375779/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/5375779/</guid>
                <pubDate>Mon, 16 May 2005 17:09:19 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ He already said " You're much too  strong for this"<br />
Don't give up on this,<br />
Don't give in.<br />
Don't let this ruin you.<br />
" You're much too strong for this" ]]></description>
                <author>~character101</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>floober joober</title>
                <link>http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/5348093/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/5348093/</guid>
                <pubDate>Fri, 13 May 2005 13:48:49 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Erase my answers & put in your own.<br />
<br />
1. What is your name? noelle<br />
<br />
2. What color pants are you wearing  now? bright blue capri thingys<br />
<br />
3. What are you listening to right  now?eisley<br />
<br />
4. what are the last 2 digits in ur  phone number? 64<br />
<br />
5. What was the last thing you ate? a  turkey sandwich!! poor turkey <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/f/frown.gif" width="15" height="15" alt=":(" title=":( (Sad)" /><br />
<br />
6. If you were a crayon what color  would you be? green<br />
<br />
7. How is the weather right now?  comfortable<br />
<br />
8. Who was the last person you talked  to on the phone? ben...2 nights ago<br />
<br />
9. The first thing you notice about the  opposite sex? lots of dif things...  depends on the person<br />
<br />
10. Favorite type of Food? candy food!<br />
<br />
11. Favorite alcoholic Drink? hee hee  hee<br />
<br />
13. Favorite place to shop? anywhere  with something cheap!<br />
<br />
14. Hair color: right now black<br />
<br />
15. Eye Color: Blue. brown... boring...<br />
<br />
16. Do you wear contacts? yus<br />
<br />
17. BEST FRIENDS?? jackie, abby, anna,  adri, alicia, brian, harry  uhhh... im  forgetting someone...<br />
<br />
18. Favorite Month? winter months<br />
<br />
19. Favorite Fast Food? ishy...<br />
<br />
20. Last Movie you Watched? true  romance<br />
<br />
21. Favorite Day of the Year? your mom<br />
<br />
22. Are you too shy to ask someone out?  No<br />
<br />
23. Summer or Winter? winter<br />
<br />
24. Hugs or Kisses?  <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/f/floating.gif" width="34" height="15" alt=":floating:" title="Floating" /><br />
<br />
25. Chocolate or Vanilla? chocolate!!<br />
<br />
26. Do you want your friends to respond  back? liar!!!!<br />
<br />
27. Who is most likely to respond? your  uhh... grandma<br />
<br />
28. Who is least likely to respond?  your grandpa!<br />
<br />
29. What books are you reading?  invisible monsters by chuck<br />
<br />
30. Piercings? just my ears a few  times... there will be more to come!!<br />
<br />
31. Fav. Movie? american beauty<br />
<br />
32. Fav. baseball Team? lmao<br />
<br />
33. Fav. Hangout? lmao! im too lame to  have a "hangout"<br />
<br />
34. Any Pets? 2 slutty cats<br />
<br />
35. AIM SN? fuck you stalkers!!!<br />
<br />
36. Butter, Plain or Salted popcorn?  everything! and iced cream<br />
<br />
37. Dogs or cats? dogs<br />
<br />
38. Favorite Flower? white roses<br />
<br />
39. What do you say when you wake up in  the A.M.? gloofsfnudfjjn mumbo jumbo<br />
<br />
40. Do you still talk to your best  friends from intermediate school?  yus...wait... whats that mean?<br />
<br />
41. What's on your desk? poopy<br />
<br />
42. Rock Concert or symphony? both make  me happy<br />
<br />
43. Play or Opera? both would be fun <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/letters/=p.gif" width="15" height="15" alt=":P" title=":P (Lick)" /><br />
<br />
44. Have you ever fired a gun? guns  scare me, im never going to touch  one...ever<br />
<br />
45. Do you like to travel by plane? I  dunno. i havnt before<br />
<br />
46. Right-handed or Left-handed? Right<br />
<br />
47. Smooth or Chunky Peanut Butter?  both satisfy me! ohh.... those delicous  sandwiches of heaven...<br />
<br />
48. How many pillows do you sleep with?  too many<br />
<br />
49. City and State you were born in?  minnesota... i dont know where<br />
<br />
50. Ever hitchhiked? nope<br />
<br />
51. Who do you love the most in the  entire world? <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/h/heart.gif" width="15" height="13" alt=":heart:" title="Heart" /> <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/h/heart.gif" width="15" height="13" alt=":heart:" title="Heart" /> <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/h/heart.gif" width="15" height="13" alt=":heart:" title="Heart" /> ]]></description>
                <author>~character101</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Jaclyn and Tori</title>
                <link>http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/5330067/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/5330067/</guid>
                <pubDate>Wed, 11 May 2005 13:43:08 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Yes, we are going back out now... stop  poking me! I'm so happy right now. I  just realized I've had 4 great days in  a row, I havn't had that in a while...  I'm so fuckin' happy!! Wow... I can't  believe how happy I am right now <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/s/smile.gif" width="15" height="15" alt=":)" title=":) (Smile)" /><br />
 <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/d/date.gif" width="36" height="22" alt=":date:" title="Date" />      <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/l/love.gif" width="23" height="16" alt=":love:" title="Love" />      <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/k/kiss.gif" width="15" height="15" alt=":kiss:" title="Kiss" />      <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/a/aww.gif" width="15" height="15" alt=":aww:" title="Aww" />      <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/h/heart.gif" width="15" height="13" alt=":heart:" title="Heart" />      <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/f/faint.gif" width="18" height="17" alt=":faint:" title="I think I've fainted." />      <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/f/flirty.gif" width="30" height="26" alt=":flirty:" title="Flirtatious" /> ]]></description>
                <author>~character101</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>This is what i get.</title>
                <link>http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/5301448/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/5301448/</guid>
                <pubDate>Sun, 08 May 2005 11:05:01 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ I don't check deviant art for two days  cuz I'm lazy... so I end up with 354  deviations to look through. <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/letters/=p.gif" width="15" height="15" alt=":P" title=":P (Lick)" /> But it's a  good thing...kinda... well it means I  get to look through tons of all of your  gorgeous art!!! ]]></description>
                <author>~character101</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>The Widow</title>
                <link>http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/5249842/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/5249842/</guid>
                <pubDate>Mon, 02 May 2005 18:23:22 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ I'm sorry, I really should have  explained more in my last entry, all I  managed to do was worry people. So to  clarify, the bruises were from no one  but myself. When I talked about a guy,  I was just extremely worried about him,  he had'nt done anything to hurt me. So  again I apologize, that was really dumb  of me. Oh and I'm still really worried  about you ya know? I hate seeing people  go through the same thing I did. ]]></description>
                <author>~character101</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Purple</title>
                <link>http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/5229624/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://character101.deviantart.com/journal/5229624/</guid>
                <pubDate>Sat, 30 Apr 2005 12:01:10 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ I have bruises on my arms...and I smell  like smoke. Wow this week sucked. I  can't bring myself to ask you why you  did it...mostly because I think it's  all my fault. I'm so sorry. ]]></description>
                <author>~character101</author>
            </item>
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