Code of an Eso

~coolduedc — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 17:30:19 PDT

â CODE OF AN ESO â

This is a testimony of morals pertaining to, or concerned with the principles or rules of right conduct or the analysis between right and wrong in the Life of Me. These Rules can be all-purpose to everyday life, but Rules are needed to be followed but not in the order listed.

1.) Neutral Conduct in every Situation.
2.) Never become in the way of relationships as conflict is not needed. (Example of Relationships: Serious Relationships, people to whom to be Dating, Engaged, or Married.)
3.) Friendship is a Must unless conflict is found.
4.) To obtain a happiness of a friend does mean taking a bullet.
5.) If Depression has happened to fall, pull yourself out.
6.) Self Suicide is not and will never be an OPTION!
7.) Randomness. (Daily)
8.) Make a Person laugh or Smile. (Daily)
9.) Being the Good Guy. (life Long)
10.) Finding Happiness even if it takes your whole life.
11.) Self Control can Help your Goal.

All rules are from own personal moral with life experiences
(Note: may change due mind set.)

Devious Journal Entry

~coolduedc — Wed, 06 May 2009 19:38:54 PDT

oh god...

~coolduedc — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 07:14:55 PDT

...

Yesterday.. Maybe the most stupid and embarrassing day. all because that 1 person who could not understand that its "OVER".

it all started when I left work and was on my merry way back to my home town. About an hour into my drive I had gotten to a town where I suppose to meet up with my parents at Wal-Mart. (I have worked @ this store before so I know the ppl that work there, so it was nice just to go and visit.) Anyways so I visit my friends talked to them. And I went to look behind me I thought I saw my EX GF's Mom.

I kind of didn't care, until I saw the only Person in the world that I didn't want to see. MY EX!!! When I saw her I kind of jetted away. just for a moment so that I could lose her. after that I floated back to my friends. Until she was right behind me.. O.O 1st thing she said was "We need to talk!" (of course we meaning more than one person. and I didn't really want to talk to her @ all.) I returned with a "No." and when to ask where my other friends was at.

Before I when to find my Friend (Whos my Best Friend XD) My Ex's mom when past me and said "Hi" (God shes one of the reasons that my Ex is still bugging me.) I didnt answer back to her. That felt so good.

YAY! I found my Friend. -Cell phone rings- Its my Ex's mother calling me. (I didnt answer.) of course I got a nice Voice mail. Stating that I was an Ass for not talking to her daughter.. WTF
about 5 mins later "she" calls me. (I answered) Shes almost crying because I didnt talk to her. She starts to tell me about why I haven't placed charges on her. (because shes always @ my work wanted to talk to me, calling me, and sending me txts.) and one the last things she said was "You know that your car is pretty Dirty." O.o o.O I was freaking out... and I told her to leave me alone forever... She hangs up..

the only thing had bugged me was she said that my Car was dirty.. SO i ventured off to my car, thats when I saw. It was written on my Car "Asshole." once in dust, and second was in lipstick.. (which I have pics.)
[link]
[link]

-something just to end it.-

[link]

Wot>?!

~coolduedc — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 17:48:13 PST

Wot? dAmn thats a Good show so far. Bones its the 1st time that i've seen it, and its pretty great.

Anyways I forgot what I was saying...

[link]

Days that Seem to be Breakin a New. . .

~coolduedc — Sat, 17 Jan 2009 12:57:06 PST

As the passing of the Days, life has happened to become anew. Anew by difference in people, and environments.

But How has it become "Anew" for me. Well there's a good story with that, but happens to be complex... O.o to make it short, made my differences with my EX, a friend just starting to talk to me again, after 3 months of silence from an Awkward moment, and started a new hair style for myself. ( Turns out pretty Good. )

Work sucks, but that's always the same. Expect with a tiny difference. Snow and Ice. . . BTW I'm a cart pusher @ a Wal-Mart. So you see where I'm getting @.

Still single. I'm still looking for a girlfriend. Which is doing OK, but I found out its better to not look @ all. Way life is I seem to bump into people and get to know them. (As with all of my Ex girlfriends was, I met them, and started to date them. Skipping the friendship part. (which was bad to do.) I've learn from that.

Yeah this my only IMPORTANT journal entry that I've ever done, besides the posting of whom that I watch.

anyways this is a pointless but OH well.

The PPL whom I Watch.

~coolduedc — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 05:36:09 PDT

To Whom that I Watch!

~coolduedc — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 09:58:43 PST

rejected

~coolduedc — Wed, 19 Sep 2007 10:48:58 PDT

Not much can be said, as life that I have known it, is strange an just plan wrong. As I get the backlash or my just Dirt. I don't Want to Understand. My Place in this world. Where is it? As It has already been 18 years, and still nothing has made my life turn better. Worse and Worse. Those are my key Terms about my Life.

But I'm Just speaking in Random. As I don't Understand. Why.

CODES!!

~coolduedc — Tue, 11 Sep 2007 11:36:51 PDT

endless

~coolduedc — Sat, 01 Sep 2007 20:50:42 PDT

From time and its endless being. it seems that life it's self is on a stand still. With emotional and psychical pain, that makes use just want to end it.
But sometimes our pains are better then others, and we yet cant explain it. With saying that, It makes me feel that I am one of many people that they bottle there emotions and with the ending fact that we make emotional pains to the ones that people that loved or liked you.
As things like that don't even come to our mind, as people on the outside is not important to ourselves.. Just need that 1 second to think of Why.

Linkin Park - Numb Lyrics

~coolduedc — Mon, 23 Jul 2007 18:27:44 PDT

I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)

[Chorus]
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

Can't you see that you're smothering me
Holding too tightly afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
And every second I waste is more than I can take

[Chorus]
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you

[Chorus]
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

[Chorus]
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be

Linkin Park - Easier to Run Lyrics

~coolduedc — Mon, 23 Jul 2007 14:12:46 PDT

[Chorus]
It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something more
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone

Something has been taken from deep inside of me
The secret I've kept locked away no one can ever see
Wounds so deep they never show they never go away
Like moving pictures in my head for years and years they've played

(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(If I could take all the shame to the grave I would)
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(I would take all my shame to the grave)

[Chorus]
It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something more
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone

Sometimes I remember the darkness of my past
Bringing back these memories I wish I didn't have
Sometimes I think of letting go and never looking back
And never moving forward so there'd never be a path

(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(If I could take all the shame to the grave I would)
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(I would take all my shame to the grave)

Just watching in the sun
All of my helplessness inside
Pretending I don't feel misplaced
It's so much simpler to change

[Chorus]
It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something more
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone

It's easier to run
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made)
It's easier to go
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(I would take all my shame to the grave)

katatonia - Complicity Lyrices

~coolduedc — Sat, 07 Jul 2007 20:31:58 PDT

I have no name my face a blur
I speak only to answer them
White noise becomes a voice
I hear it constantly

I dare not break the circuit
I rest only for a short time
This time I promise I won't give up

I have no right to let it go
I have no right to do so

My vision now is incomplete
I am affected by the warmth
A change of tone unusual sound
Is this the time to decline

They control the circuit
The embodiment of what I've done
If I waver from this circle
A second pass and then I'm found
But he who walks behind me
He once saw the morning sun

Nujabes - Battlecry Lyrics

~coolduedc — Wed, 04 Jul 2007 08:23:42 PDT

sharp like an edge of a samurai sword
the mental blade cut through flesh and bone
though my mind's at peace, the world out of order
missing the inner heat, life gets colder
oh yes, I have to find my path
no less, walk on earth, water, and fire
the elements compose a magnum opus
my modus is operandi is amalgam
steel packed tight in microchip
on my arm a sign of all-pro
the ultimate reward is honor, not awards
at odds with the times in wars with no lords

a freelancer,
a battle cry of a hawk make a dove fly and a tear dry
wonder why a lone wolf don't run with a klan
only trust your instincts and be one with the plan

some days, some nights
some live, some die
in the way of the samurai
some fight, some bleed
sun up to sun down
the sons of a battlecry

some days, some nights
some live, some die
in the way of the samurai
some fight, some bleed
sun up to sun down
the sons of a battlecry

look, just the air around him
an aura surrounding the heir apparent
he might be a peasant but shine like grand royalty
he to the people and land, loyalty
we witness above all to hear this,
sea sickness in the ocean of wickedness
set sail to the sun set no second guessing

far east style with the spirit of wild west
the "quote-unquote" code stands the test of
time for the chosen ones to find the best of
noble minds that ever graced the face of
a hemisphere with no fear, fly over

the blue yonder where
the sky meets the sea
and eye meets no eye
and boy meets world
and became a man to serve the world
to save the day, the night, and the girl too

[chorus repeat]

Invincible Lyrics From Static-X

~coolduedc — Wed, 20 Jun 2007 16:44:26 PDT

This moment in time
This moment defined
How is it I feel nothing?
Just don't say goodbye
You say to me
I'm trying to do the right thing

This moment in time
This moment defined
How is it I feel nothing?

It's alright

And we sneak a call
And we're like thieves
I love the times like these
Just don't say goodbye
Just won't you please
I'm trying to do the right thing

It's alright

All my life I was in the cold
Now I find I feel nothing more
Leave me to learn
Leave me to hurt
Now I'm not so invincible

It's just come to this you know

Hold Nothing Back

~coolduedc — Wed, 20 Jun 2007 15:08:24 PDT

*I LOVE THIS SONG I JUST NEED THE LYRICS*

You try to find a reason why it all went away
And you think of what you could have done different
When you thought you were complete
You opened up your eyes

When you thought you had it all that's when you lost it
If you want to hold onto everything you will fall

You are around chasing things that disappear
You can't get enough cuz you want it all
When you thought you were ok
you opened up your eyes

When you thought you had it all that's when you lost it
If you want to hold onto everything you will fall

When you thought you had it all that's when you lost it
If you want to hold onto everything you will fall

When you thought you had it all that's when you lost it
If you want to hold onto everything you will fall

Random

~coolduedc — Tue, 19 Jun 2007 18:16:53 PDT

The ways the I continue into life, odd things have become to over come me. And others that cannot be explained. My mental state seems to become over depressed as my emotions cannot control themselves.

I can't even be able to enjoy the day with becoming down with sadness, as I seem people become happy. Once a get thing that I have been able to joy from no longer wants me to express it.

Being put down by my own self, as people try to help I do not want their help as my depression has gotten the better of me. Just to think that I was bi-poler. But I still don't understand that concept.

My true thinking has become random or messed up as I should say. Maybe some relaxing time could do me a lot of good. I Hope.

Dare to Care

~coolduedc — Mon, 18 Jun 2007 18:08:05 PDT

My Life has seem to become less complex then it should be. and yet theres something wrong with me. I don't know how to Explain it, but something with my emotions it has me become mad yet sad, and others that I cant really know how to anymore..

I have just become so.. Lost. My moods are getting the better of me. I wasn't able to show them, but now I have to seem to let them loose and not control that I have over them..

For seen

~coolduedc — Mon, 18 Jun 2007 15:17:07 PDT

Depths of my soul has come to wonder to get for seen of the great light of mind ridden Darkness.

poem Called "Distance Is Better"

~coolduedc — Sun, 17 Jun 2007 17:39:49 PDT

For the Main reason off it all
If you cant get a Clue

Then what good are U?
Even when you tell people that I should Rot in Hell

Well "F" you
You no good to me, and will never will be

My mood has changed for the best
Even you think It has become worse

Well Im just happy without you
and trust me its the True facts

So do u get it?
Or should I just tell you In person?
Well with your luck that never going to happen

Soo boo Hoo to you.
So leave me alone
Dont even talk to me
Even if you must
I wont give a Care of it

I will tell me true feels of it all
So you can Just shut Up
So if you Please just stay away
I dont want to be with you anymore then I had to

This may Not be all the Facts
But thats all @ my mind @ the time
of this freaking chime
Im not going to talk to

so dont even Try.
Later.
Happens to be my last words so

Bye.

deviantART: by:coolduedc