http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:countthescars&section=today deviantART RSS for by:countthescars en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Fri, 18 Dec 2009 17:41:27 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/14872675/ http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/14872675/ Mon, 01 Oct 2007 15:22:20 PDT of all that goes unnoticed by anyone but us'

i hope nobody else finds this page; there is a great deal open to misinterpretation. i haven't been neglecting poetry. that's an obvious thing to say, because, when i don't write, i carry it with me nonetheless - but what i mean to say is that i have been writing, just not posting. as always.

life right now is complex and hapless. i need nobody to tell me what i should be doing - i have a degree of clarity and focus with regard to this - it's the moments of stasis which are frightening to me, pausing at the impasse.

that's enough. i really just wanted to share that quote with everyone.

]]> ~countthescars http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/14358424/ http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/14358424/ Mon, 27 Aug 2007 01:41:56 PDT
Yes; it was one of those nights. A good time, I can safely say, was had by most.

That is, until I got home and the weight of my actions hit me, slightly. I was certainly sober enough to contemplate the general frivolity with which I approach life; the general recklessness; and whilst it is a double entendre - I repeat - I can't say no to anything. And this, you understand, is inconsistent with my general tendency to over-think and analyse my actions, as I'm doing now - and here lies my affliction. But perhaps, secretly, I'm most comfortable with all things temporary, since we're taught to think of this period in our lives as a preparation period; not real life. Not real life.

I had the worst, aching need to see him, to sit on his bed and cry, or crawl soundlessly under the covers, and it's probably that I want to be known by somebody on that fallible, open level; the almost-tragic.

]]> ~countthescars http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/14220812/ http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/14220812/ Sat, 18 Aug 2007 03:47:07 PDT
The rest is all stuffed onto the corners of the collage of all these bittersweet experiences I've been having. It's raining and I'm glad. My throat feels like roadkill.

On a more relevant topic; I have been writing, but not posting, and this is probably a good thing.

My heart is so loud today.

]]> ~countthescars http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/13587030/ http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/13587030/ Tue, 03 Jul 2007 02:14:41 PDT
It was possibly because I was talking yesterday about somebody who I thought I'd never see again. "Do you want to?" this person asked. "Yes... but not in the hope of uh... of starting anything.. more... well, just to talk" I said. This was possibly only half true. How is it possible for him to think about me calmly - without crying or writing letters? He doesn't know, that is why.

Dear God why am I not over this. ]]> ~countthescars http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/13389813/ http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/13389813/ Mon, 18 Jun 2007 05:50:24 PDT
Yesterday I had what seemed like a very long dream. A festival was involved. I left the festival and everybody there to travel alone into London and to call him. I thought that he would be around, but he said that he was in Lincolnshire, and he was saying, "But, we could still -- we should still --" and I was unable to speak.

I don't feel happy today but I can't talk to anyone and I have things to do.

]]> ~countthescars http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/13260113/ http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/13260113/ Fri, 08 Jun 2007 02:10:52 PDT
Is form important? I give the example of t.e. hulme; despite finding his theories for the most part detestable, you cannot help but admire his humourous tone and exactitude.

I realised that I have a great many in-jokes with myself. For instance - who am I talking about t.e. hulme for? Who will actually be able to read that and say, ahaha, indeed, his letter on tory philosophy, yes. But I feel comprehension is overrated, particularly in poetry. The waste land wouldn't have been half as good if eliot had literally said;

april isn't actually the cruellest month,
it's just symbolic of the fertility we don't have, and i'm
venting my anger about the sordid world we live in.

come in under the shadow of this metaphorical rock,
and i will show you what i'm complaining about,
you heathens.

Notably my poems have been a good deal more conventional and understandable lately. I felt I had things to say I suppose. I'd like to have someplace where I could actually get feedback on my poetry, the whole system of da works like politics, you just need your lackies behind you and some output banal enough to be crowd-pleasing.

]]> ~countthescars http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/13250781/ http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/13250781/ Thu, 07 Jun 2007 10:14:01 PDT
]]> ~countthescars http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/13210431/ http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/13210431/ Mon, 04 Jun 2007 03:37:16 PDT
realised, the other day, that there is nothing i'd like more than to live in london. i want to go to ucl. i broached the subject to my mother on a speedy trip to morrisons. "do you think i should apply to cambridge next year?" i said, "i thought you already were". "yes, i am. but i'm asking should i." "you think you'll be disappointed?" "no," i said truthfully "i think i'll get in"
and so the conversation commenced, and by some reverse psychology she managed to get me to retract all i had previously been thinking that day.

so it is, days float by, a routine that is merciful and attracts nobody.

i could write plays about this sort of subtext.

yesterday i spent a long, long time reading over the poem i wrote, admiring the way it encapsulated everything and tweaking with increasing awe.

]]> ~countthescars http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/13197912/ http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/13197912/ Sun, 03 Jun 2007 04:58:22 PDT so i'm sending you flowers, and writing you letters

my latest poem is about bad advice,
but the poem is good. awesome.

stop procrastinating imogen.

]]> ~countthescars http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/13160074/ http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/13160074/ Thu, 31 May 2007 05:47:40 PDT















p.s my favourite poet would be geoffrey hill, if anyone would ask.

]]> ~countthescars http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/13046894/ http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/13046894/ Tue, 22 May 2007 05:11:47 PDT
Since college has been drawing to a close I have been thinking somewhat about the things I would like to do before it ends. One of these involves kicking someone in the crotch. I'm not sure that will get done, I will put in my list of unlikely aspirations and if the moment arises perhaps it'll happen. What else? Nope - that's very much it. I have grown at college, but college itself hasn't grown me and I think it's therefore fair to say that leaving college will be about as significant as any next step can be, having been ready for this next step for long enough. It isn't frightening; that's what I mean. And I will miss very little.

Did I say that life was underwhelming? That I'm frustrated with my poetry? Mostly I have discovered that farce is the truest of forms.

]]> ~countthescars http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/13033815/ http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/13033815/ Mon, 21 May 2007 04:38:04 PDT
i'm pissed off; hate this goddamn nonchalance

i'll sort it out in summer

]]> ~countthescars http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/13012361/ http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/13012361/ Sat, 19 May 2007 11:05:14 PDT
i compensate by
composing myself
a massive ego

and smirking at the realisation
that nobody on here
has written a sestina

either

]]> ~countthescars http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/12979068/ http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/12979068/ Wed, 16 May 2007 15:14:55 PDT
Withnail & I has it right, at the end; it is all very funny but then they delve with profound simplicity into the need to drink and numb oneself. It's from Hamlet. 'I have, of late, lost all my mirth....'

My mouth tastes, strangely, of ash, on my teeth and tongue. I really do think that the world is deaf. But I did make something of a confession here last night, and then realised that it would mean nothing to anyone. I can't complete it.

]]> ~countthescars http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/12961127/ http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/12961127/ Tue, 15 May 2007 04:09:46 PDT
]]> ~countthescars http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/12823813/ http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/12823813/ Thu, 03 May 2007 04:00:02 PDT
I have been planning for a while to get down to some work which is metrically interesting; using a specific form, not necessarily as formal as a sonnet, but in tercets, for example. Something that will elicit some progress, as opposed to the poems which I'm writing at the moment, as spurts of inspiration that aren't getting me very far.

Having said that, my latest poem is nice. You should read it, and comment, and such.

I think that... life is very busy right now. I must go and do some dull things now, like psychology revision and contextual notes on two plays, for theatre studies. It is no wonder I am still a mere versifier.

]]> ~countthescars http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/12738016/ http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/12738016/ Thu, 26 Apr 2007 02:05:12 PDT
]]> ~countthescars http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/12534451/ http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/12534451/ Tue, 10 Apr 2007 03:59:47 PDT
]]> ~countthescars http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/11513734/ http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/11513734/ Sun, 21 Jan 2007 05:06:08 PST
anyway, psyching myself up for some hard work this year. until june-ish. so only really five months of it, from now, and then some silly-exciting gap year. i haven't had time to write, except in various journals, and that's okay; i think it's cleared my mind about some things, i didn't ever want to get stuck in my ways. when i come back to some more formal writing, i'll have a clean slate for a mind.

'always i desire the great canvas for my lines and gestures'
- te hulme

really, today - i don't feel like even writing informally, philosophically, personally, critically, in any form - i feel restricted somehow. as soon as i ever thought about an audience, or a lack of one.

]]> ~countthescars http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/9972558/ http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/9972558/ Tue, 05 Sep 2006 03:12:33 PDT
the encyclopedias/ tinyfolk - st
the encyclopedias/pigrims/bluey - woodsy, bear, odium
fire island, AK - rain contained
nire - my father's record player
the microphones - it was hot we stayed in the water

yum. yesterday, i cried in front of a friend at four in the morning, sat in his garden. today, the friend is in spain for an indefinate length of time. bath is like one of those small us towns, where the people come and go, talking of michealangelo. or perhaps that's a poem. in any case they come and go, some of them perhaps discuss art, i don't know.

i'm glad college has started, my life has purpose again, and i've also joined the gym. my intentions are good. it won't last. but hey.

lunch? lunch sounds good. ]]> ~countthescars http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/9811926/ http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/9811926/ Tue, 22 Aug 2006 04:13:28 PDT
so it's been a while, since july fourteenth to be precise. what's new? lost the will to live, found the will to sleep late, drink coffee and catch the daily episodes of diagnosis: murder and neighbours that any further activity is planned around.

got a new job, no more latin american life for me. restaurant called 'blackstones', if anyone's in bath you should check it out, it's hip and happening and i think i hate it already. too clean, and furthermore too much pressure to be clean. also i got attacked by one of the chef's tongues. nice.

i just want college to start. sick of everyone asking me what im doing, what my plans are, what uni i'm going to, when that'll be and on and on. barely matters, just going to stick my head down and work hard which is something i didn't do last year. my (good?) friend matthew is thinking of leaving college, i would be extremely upset if this were the case. matt is better than most people, particularly most in bath.

in short i'm upset because i felt like myself for the first time in months yesterday and some boy went and ruined it. so yes i want to stay in bed and never get dressed or go out again, but i can't even do that because my bedsheets and a lot of my clothes smell of aftershave and it's disgusting. when the fuck is diagnosis murder on. when the fuck are things going to go right. ]]> ~countthescars http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/9371913/ http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/9371913/ Fri, 14 Jul 2006 04:52:27 PDT
So, in no particular order;

1. Hearing the song that gives you that nostalgic buzz. (You know the one.)
2. Speaking quietly and being listened to intently
3. Reading the morning newspaper in the afternoon
4. Conversations with strangers
5. Enjoying your own company
6. Being in no rush, wandering on summer evenings
7. Reading Samus' words of any kind
8. Getting an email from a distant friend
9. Philosophical conversations whilst drunk and laughing about it the morning after
10. Cuddles with conviction


...how cheesy was that?

but so true! ]]> ~countthescars http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/9179725/ http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/9179725/ Sun, 25 Jun 2006 14:38:31 PDT on an entirely irrelevant note, i'm loving cat power and justice at the moment, missing a boy and feeling rather sleepy. tomorrow i've no idea what i'll be doing, something along the lines of sleeping and reading and wondering around the city centre. mmhm. ]]> ~countthescars http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/8789355/ http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/8789355/ Tue, 16 May 2006 14:41:01 PDT
anyway, i have found God. i found God in notting hill, i found God today, i find Him in my inbox on occasion. and also in a book of poetry. He gives me purpose. unfortunately i'm led astray by the goddamn atrium. oh, atrium - why do i find it impossible to leave you behind? probably eyes. those eyes. the essential desire, the pleasure, the weakness that is shared by all human beings - the purpose - to relate to others. to understand that there is a common strand in all our lives, to understand unity. and remain true to yourself simultaneously? remain true to the atrium and the ventricle? in fact this entry has not been scientifically accurate - there are two atriums, left and right, and two ventricles, likewise.

but what's really beautiful, what really speaks to me - is that relationship you can only find with strangers. that lovely informality that says, "i do not know you, but i know that you are another human being and that is good enough for me". that's what i adore about working in service, not the money. knowing people... that, i believe, is education at its finest. have you ever sat down and properly talked to someone? taken the time to get their philosophical views, to ask them questions, to find what they believe is their personal meaning, their perception of the future? life makes the earth - it's like the tree falling in the middle of the forest - does it still make a sound? are bad situations not only so because we percieve them as such?
i'm getting way out of my depth.

yes, i've been pretty busy and pretty tired. latest poem - it's good. read it. that's all. night. ]]> ~countthescars http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/8789353/ http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/8789353/ Tue, 16 May 2006 14:36:27 PDT
anyway, i have found God. i found God in notting hill, i found God today, i find Him in my inbox on occasion. and also in a book of poetry. He gives me purpose. unfortunately i'm led astray by the goddamn atrium. oh, atrium - why do i find it impossible to leave you behind? eyes. those eyes. the essential desire, the pleasure, the weakness that is shared by all human beings - the purpose - to relate to others. to understand that there is a common strand in all our lives, to understand unity. and remain true to yourself simultaneously? remain true to the atrium and the ventricle? in fact this entry has not been scientifically accurate - there are two atriums, left and right, and two ventricles, likewise.

but what's really beautiful, what really speaks to me - is that relationship you can only find with strangers. that lovely informality that says, "i do not know you, but i know that you are another human being and that is good enough for me". that's what i adore about working in service, not the money. knowing people... that, i believe, is education at its finest. have you ever sat down and properly talked to someone? taken the time to get their philosophical views, to ask them questions, to find what they believe is their personal meaning, their perception of the future? life makes the earth - it's like the tree falling in the middle of the forest - does it still make a sound? are bad situations not only so because we percieve them as such?
i'm getting way out my depth.

yes, i've been pretty busy and pretty tired. latest poem - it's good. read it. that's all. night. ]]> ~countthescars http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/7721550/ http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/7721550/ Fri, 27 Jan 2006 09:38:42 PST
since i am kind, and would like the share with the world the work of those i respect, i will post one poem i found most striking here. (don't worry, it's short)

taking leave of a friend.

blue mountains to the north of the walls,
white river winding about them;
here we must make separation
and go out through a thousand miles of dead grass.

mind like a floating wide cloud.
sunset like the parting of old aquaintances
who bow over their clasped hands at a distance.
our horses neigh to each other
as we are departing. ]]> ~countthescars http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/7645820/ http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/7645820/ Thu, 19 Jan 2006 06:33:56 PST
there is a girl on here, probably not just the one, who simply submits pictures of herself and calls it 'art photography'. not even stock art. photography.
is everyone here so pretentious?

seriously guys, if you want to see half naked girls then buy some pornography, don't go around clicking '+fav' on a bunch of narcissistic photographs and continue to build upon the pretense that this is art.

ARGH I HATE THIS PLACE ]]> ~countthescars http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/7516606/ http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/7516606/ Thu, 05 Jan 2006 10:58:55 PST
i am now going to talk a bit about my last deviation which you should read.

basho was a japanese poet in the 1600s who specialised in seventeen syllable verse, better known as haiku. he was a bit of a recluse. his poetry is striking and inspiring to me, i decided to write about that mixed in with some vaguely philosophical thoughts i had.

the poem brushes a point of interest to me - the subject of originality (in this sense dA is representative of society in that the majority of people do not have any). i had the notion that i would have liked to have lived a long time ago as there would have been a better chance of producing something that could not be linked to hundreds of other great works that have gone before us. this is of course impossible for me now, but if i can still produce something i am proud of and that others enjoy reading, then i am sure that will be more than sufficient.

that is what i am going to be doing with my poetry and fiction this year, in a less contrived environment.

thankyou for your time,

imogen. ]]> ~countthescars http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/7516603/ http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/7516603/ Thu, 05 Jan 2006 10:58:17 PST
i am now going to talk a bit about my last deviation which you should read.

basho was a japanese poet in the 1600s who specialised in seventeen syllable verse, better known as haiku. he was a bit of a recluse. his poetry is striking and inspiring to me, i decided to write about that mixed in with some vaguely philosophical thoughts i had.

the poem brushes a point of interest to me - the subject of originality (in this sense dA is representative of society in that the majority of people do not have any). i had the notion that i would have liked to have lived a long time ago as there would have been a better chance of producing something that could not be linked to hundreds of other great works that have gone before us. this is of course impossible for me now, but if i can still produce something i am proud of and that others enjoy reading, then i am sure that will be more than sufficient.

that is what i am going to be doing with my poetry and fiction this year, in a less contrived environment.

thankyou for your time,

imogen. ]]> ~countthescars http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/7506242/ http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/7506242/ Wed, 04 Jan 2006 08:24:05 PST
it's been a largely happy one for me so far, with the odd exception, as there always is. today i am working hard, or atleast, attempting to.

inspiring people that got me through 2005 include;

murakami, tolstoy, berger, bukowski, eliot, plath, shakespeare, homer, tolkien, mirah, newsom, kinsella and so many other musicians and writers.

also matt, sarah, bryony, charles, mark, simon, stu, ben, frasier, maz, elanor, etc.

things that interested me this year were;

russia, trains, electronica and fog.

the reason i am still alive;

poetry. escapism. disillusionment and ambition as a result of loneliness.

and that is quite a substantial insight into the life of imogen.
so bye. ]]> ~countthescars http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/7229993/ http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/7229993/ Mon, 05 Dec 2005 14:31:07 PST
That's why today I have tweaked my english essay, looked up pictures of the biblical character of Salome, read a book, written a poem, made a new countthescars preview for the poem and also learnt about individualism and marxism on the internet. My new preview looks kind of awesome, it's a photograph I took myself in london.

Yesterday I had a very good time, and went home and wanted to stay up all night but my bed looked too inviting. Today I've been on a real buzz and tomorrow I only have an hour of college. whoopeee!

Time for some christmas shopping, maybe? Possibly.

If you're in the area you can always read my new poem.
x ]]> ~countthescars http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/7096210/ http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/7096210/ Sun, 20 Nov 2005 11:34:20 PST
oh my. ]]> ~countthescars http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/7081665/ http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/7081665/ Fri, 18 Nov 2005 15:10:50 PST
it turns out i'm rather clever but possibly indulge too much in self pity.

i blame the lj and the da. i'm always writing about my feelings.

AND ANDN ANDND charles will be here tomorrow. YIPPEEEEEE!!

charles if yr reading, my room is a mess. i'm going to try and clear up, but like..don't be too shocked. ]]> ~countthescars http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/6852713/ http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/6852713/ Mon, 24 Oct 2005 07:42:20 PDT
It's really just a pretentious/artsy myspace, with a few more goths and a few less scenesters.

I don't need anybody's support anyway. It's true, but maybe I'll send the nicer ones of you a copy of my book one day. ]]> ~countthescars http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/6833834/ http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/6833834/ Sat, 22 Oct 2005 05:02:14 PDT
But I didn't.

Not just because I couldn't work out how to do it (shhhh), but also because every one of them was a wonderful piece of work and .. yes, every one of them deserves to be there.

I'm so bored, though. I think I'll head down to the library and make notes on the roles of women in a patriachal society as featured by shakespeare in much ado about nothing. My life is so fun.

Keekeekeekeekee, my luvr!! What day this week should we go to oxford? I'm free everyday except tuesday and wednesday, and i work friday and saturday evenings. So.. it's basically monday or thursday. Or tomorrow, hawhaw.

Completely up to you.
xx ]]> ~countthescars http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/6819179/ http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/6819179/ Thu, 20 Oct 2005 13:39:15 PDT
I really want somebody to critiscise my poetry. As in, tell me what's wrong with it, so I can improve. Please?

Anyway, AS Levels are absolutely wonderful. I have never been so engaged in my education as I am at the moment, college is just the best place ever.

Over the holidays I will be reading the three sisters by checkov, cymbeline by william shakespeare, if nobody speaks of remarkable things by jon mcgregor, and theory/theatre by mark fortier. Awesome. There are a few other books on my shelves that I need to read, but they can wait for a little while.

Yes, I've submitted a new poem under the title, "when acting is an art", so check it out if you have the time.

That is pretty much it for now. Hope everyone is having a wonderful season.

x ]]> ~countthescars http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/6625520/ http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/6625520/ Wed, 28 Sep 2005 13:18:31 PDT
I'm sorry. Either deviantart improved considerably overnight or someone bought me a subscription.
Who was it?

REVEAL YOURSELF!!

Expect a new ID very soon, because I have a new camera I got for my birthday. This pleases me. Also, expect amateur photographs of various vaguely spectacular things around Bath, like erm...architecture.

And Charles, don't hate me for selling out. ilu really!

xx

]]> ~countthescars http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/6170272/ http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/6170272/ Mon, 08 Aug 2005 15:45:21 PDT
I don't want to complain in here, or anywhere for that matter. There are a lot of talented artists on here.
I wish people liked the things I write a bit more.

That's not all, but it's all I can say, really.

xx ]]> ~countthescars http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/6147376/ http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/6147376/ Sat, 06 Aug 2005 04:48:54 PDT
It's either the fact that I woke up too late, or the fact that I can't find any batteries for a camera in order to list things on ebay, or the fact that yesterday evening was full of uncomfortable circumstances. But most likely it's the fact that today will be boring as hell because activities consist of tidying my room and working an eight hour shift and not seeing any of my friends.

I've just discovered the worst band in the world who call themselves shoegaze. Such idiots. It's an insult to the shoegaze greats... the cocteau twins would have a fit.
In fact, the cocteau twins might get me out of this horrible mood.

I need to get me another subscription.
xx ]]> ~countthescars http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/5979340/ http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/5979340/ Tue, 19 Jul 2005 16:43:52 PDT I haven't been able to come up with any answers as such, but I'll keep you posted.

Things are so nice and new, I feel like I'm looking at things in a completely different way.

For example, I got a text from someone who once meant the world to me, and didn't particularly care.
Yes, it's nice things are improving. But is it such an improvement, really? I just feel a bit bemused by it all.

Meanwhile, everyone else seems deserving of my respect. I've come to appreciate the things I actually have, which is refreshing. And I feel on the brink of something big, like, almost as big as my love of Owen Wilson.

I'm sorry, it had to be said. Who's seen wedding crashers, and what's the verdict?
[N.B even if you say it's shit, it has OWEN WILSON, and therefore it is good.]

xx ]]> ~countthescars http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/5889261/ http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/5889261/ Sat, 09 Jul 2005 20:00:15 PDT However, I cannot wait to see everyone again when I come up to London this week! It's going to be awesome.

I really do love Modest Mouse unbelievable amounts. I wish I was a friend of Isaac Brock's, but I'm sure he'd scare me in real life, his mind is so twisted. I larve it!

Anywayz, new poems possibly coming sometime in the never. I'll still be commenting and shit, though, so don't start deleting me just yet!
xx ]]> ~countthescars http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/5600360/ http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/5600360/ Thu, 09 Jun 2005 14:48:12 PDT I should really re-subscribe to deviantart, because, seriously, it's a lot better. And I feel like a cheap skate not doing it.
I'm exhausted.
And I've just written a new poem, so check it if you generally like my work, or even if you don't... and tell me how much you dislike it. Anything's cool, as long as you don't talk about batman.
If you want to talk about Batman, I'll write a poem of that title.

I'm talking crap. Yeah, yeah.

So, uh... I went to a hill today.
There's a hill that I can see from my bedroom window, and I have a lot of memories of it, and I went there to think.
I guess that inspired my poem a lot.
I just want to be someone else at the moment. Someone taller...? Yes.

Who else likes books?
I like books.
I'm reading two at the moment: One is The Alchemist, and the other is one by Sharon Creech, who's like... a hero of mine.
Both very good so far.
One's about magic, the other's about spaghetti, or something.
Gosh, I've only read a few pages. Quit bugging me about it.

!!!

Anyway, hope you guys are all seriously well, and feeling arty and inspired and aren't having any writers block. I want to see more work from all of you! And I mean it.
I would do some recommendations, but uh... let's face it, nobody ever reads my page anyway, so there would be next to no point.

But, erm... the point is... keep being creative and being yourself and doing good stuff.

Imogen.x ]]> ~countthescars http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/5509385/ http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/5509385/ Tue, 31 May 2005 07:47:10 PDT Owen - I'm Not Going Anywhere Tonight.

I’m not going anywhere tonight,
because of something said.
I know, I know, it was meant well,
but it still hurt like hell.

Its OK, its alright, its just that I’m a little tired
of fading interest, of boys and girls.
You know me and, you know me and I wanna say,
I’m gonna say, I’m not the same, maybe in time.

I’m not making promises in life
cause of something I did tonight.
My best friend, that was way back when.
Not anything was everything then.

I know it’s not fair to the fairest of them all
(you know who you are).
I’ve got your picture on a mirror on my wall.
I know you and, I know you and,
but you wanna say in the worst of ways
that I’m afraid and maybe too late.

I’m not going anywhere tonight cause I don’t want to, I don’t have to. It’s my right to be a fucking baby sometimes. ]]> ~countthescars http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/5184275/ http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/5184275/ Mon, 25 Apr 2005 09:38:23 PDT so busy, and partly because the last few times I've posted in here I felt really discouraged.
However, I'm going to try and finish these poems off, and maybe post a few more at a later time, so it's all good.

Over the next few months I've got my GCSE exams, and a few gigs and stuff. Mainly I'll be revising and trying to earn some money for the summer, so I won't be posting too much until late june sometime, when that'll all be over.

But anyway, shout out to all the people on my friends list, especially the ones that have recently been added/ added me.

Annnd take care of yourselves.
xx

]]> ~countthescars http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/5121142/ http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/5121142/ Mon, 18 Apr 2005 13:51:52 PDT Lately, I've been feeling a bit dead, a bit depressed and generally useless. Failing to come across anything of significance to make me really love life at the moment, and failing to prove myself worthy of anything of that sort anyway, I'm just existing.
And maybe you've read my latest poems, maybe you haven't. Nevermind if you haven't. Nevermind if you have, but haven't commented. But thankyou if you have taken the time to say a few nice words... it means the world to me.
So, basically my life at the moment is all about school, music and work. I haven't seen many of my friends out of school lately, and when I do see them, I just feel a bit detatched. Like I'm not myself.
Nevermind. Thankyou everyone on my friends list for simply being there, even if you don't get a chance to read my work, or can't be bothered, or whatever. Thanks anyway.

Ohh, and welcome back to milpalabras!! < 3
x ]]> ~countthescars http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/5061350/ http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/5061350/ Mon, 11 Apr 2005 14:36:18 PDT
- Modest Mouse
- Regina Spektor
- Other brilliant musicians
- Deviantartists (especially kate (spillingblood), milpalabras (if that's the right spelling) and mr.samus (samus-merid) although every one of you is an inspiration)
- The sky (it sounds cheesy, but is true)
- Being over-emotional

Basically, thankyou.
And I go back to school tomorrow so I may not be writing so much over the next month or so, although I will try.
All of you .... keep being amazing.
The end. ]]> ~countthescars http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/5053291/ http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/5053291/ Sun, 10 Apr 2005 16:51:35 PDT
...ouch. ]]> ~countthescars http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/5004256/ http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/5004256/ Tue, 05 Apr 2005 05:06:14 PDT Lately, I have been listening to a lot of modest mouse, and drifting in and out of depressed states. However... I have mostly been out of them, due to some seriously good self motivation, and some seriously good friends.
Yesterday I got so pissed off that I just pulled out the internet because it was making me depressed. I put on The Postal Service and sat and wrote in my real diary about what was bothering me, and about my writing ideas, and about my plans for this week. This cheered me up a bit.
On thursday, I am meeting Chaz and Seth "formally". Haha, should be awesome.
Today, me and Roxi are having a piss up, out of boredom...and the fact that we haven't done anything like that in a while.

I had an idea for a series of poems, which is something I've been wanting to do for a while, inspired by Samus-Merid.
I thought of a kind of Coheed And Cambria/Fantasy idea, where I write the story behind them each beforehand, and then do the individual poems from each of the characters point of view.
It needs a lot more planning, but it's the first idea that I've been excited about, so it's something.

Yeah, so have a good week everyone, and make sure you keep an eye out for new work.

x

]]> ~countthescars http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/4934686/ http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/4934686/ Mon, 28 Mar 2005 14:00:17 PST And it was completely worth it, even though we didn't do anything in particular. Just hanging out, taking the dog for a walk, watching tv was a lot of fun.
I can't wait to see him again.


]]> ~countthescars http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/4819475/ http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/4819475/ Tue, 15 Mar 2005 12:04:34 PST At first I was annoyed at Toni, for leaving me these past six months in favour of him. But everyone makes mistakes, and love can make people lose sight of everything else, so I really should be understanding of that.
I haven't had a chance to talk to her and commiserate what happened with her and Tim, even perhaps try and cheer her up, but tomorrow hopefully I can be there for her at school.
It's got to be hard for her, I can't imagine what she's going through.

And about him blocking me...I'm sure he has his reasons, whatever they are.

Yeah, so other news is that I'm in the process of writing another poem, so keep an eye out for that

And thankyou X1000 to Samus and AellaWind for their comments on my last journal entry.

Love.x

]]> ~countthescars http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/4803133/ http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/4803133/ Sun, 13 Mar 2005 15:01:03 PST I was really happy yesterday, just because I'd done lots of work, and at the prospect of maybe having a job soon, and stuff like that... But right now I just feel lonely, and like I haven't actually accomplished much this weekend.

R.I.P
Pete and Gaby.
Tash and... her boyfriend.
(almost) Toni and Tim.

Couples are splitting up and arguing everywhere.
And I phoned toni and heard her almost crying down the phone to me, and then i talked to her on the internet and tried to console her, and reassure of all the times tim has proved he's completely, madly in love with her.
He's being a dick head.
I also realised he blocked me.
Not that I ever talk to him anyway, but that upset me a little.

I just think... I try my best with people, and I don't think I'm ever horrible or inpolite deliberately... so what is it with people, that makes them dislike me?
Is it chris? Because that all happened three months ago, and chris was the one that hurt me, not the other way around... why can't people see that?

I forget things sometimes. I mean to send people birthday cards and things, then I can't afford them, or I buy them and forget to send them, and I feel inadequate like that. Sometimes I don't like talking to people because I don't want to make them unhappy because I'm not in a great mood. I don't think people respond well to that. They think I want to avoid them or something.

And, I guess I'm pretty selfish.
I mean, my friend is really hurt and I'm on here ranting about myself just because a few people have a problem with me.
I should be on the phone to her right now, telling her it'll be ok.

I don't get it, though.
Last time I saw tim we were talking and laughing and it was pretty normal, so why does he suddenly dislike me?
And why do people just suddenly want to lose contact with me, if I don't have anything of value I can give them anymore...
It happened with craig, with chris, tweety never talks to me properly anymore, seemingly tim, fucking gaby, and he who shall not be named.

So, how hard can it be to just communicate with people?
It's not just me that gets this.
I'm better off without people like that, but I really just wish it would stop happening. Because these people are still happy to carry on like normal with my friends, and my relatives... in fact, anyone but me. So, why single out me?

Probably because I complain too much.
Sorry about this post.
x

]]> ~countthescars http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/4777675/ http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/4777675/ Thu, 10 Mar 2005 13:33:14 PST However, I don't think it was so much down to me, as all the inspiration I've had from other poets on here, and just the simple encouragement to do my own thing...and make each piece of work my own.
I just feel motivated to produce things now, and to make each piece more creative or unique than the last.
So, this is for all of you... A really really big thankyou to every person who has added me as a friend, or who I have added as a friend, or to anyone who has ever commented on a piece of my work or inspired me with a piece of theirs.

The past few days/weeks have not been very eventful, aside from a trip to london the week before last, which was fun indeed.
At the moment I'm trying to catch up at school and find me a job that pays alright and that I want to do. On saturday me and Roxi are going job hunting together as we're both in the same position... so hopefully I should have some money around May.

Tonight I spent about an hour doing maths work, and now I'm going to do some reading, and learn some lines for drama.

I'm really tired at the moment.
I've been staying up too late

Hope everyone in deviantart is doing well. Just put a new piece up called "tomorrow" so check it out if you have the time.

Thanks!
x

]]> ~countthescars http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/4651717/ http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/4651717/ Wed, 23 Feb 2005 07:45:34 PST Sing out, Sing loud.
We'll sing as loud as you do.
Hold on, hold on.
This is the end of the line... I'm not falling.
As if I would fall to pieces in the wake of your design. ]]> ~countthescars http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/4646084/ http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/4646084/ Tue, 22 Feb 2005 14:21:14 PST This week should be good, once it stops dragging it's feet, and gets there.
I made a deviation called "pipe dreams and picket fences" which doesn't seem to want to display itself on my userpage...
hmm.
Yep. We'll... not much to say. I don't completely want to spill my guts in here, because only two people will know what I'm on about, one of which will probably not want to know because I'll be talking about a close friend of theirs.
So, yep.
Things are just fine. School is ok, I should have some work soon, friends stuff is... ok... I'm just a bit lonely.
But, then again, I'm sure everybody on here has heard that a thousand times before, so I won't go on about it.
hope everyone's ok.
see y'all soon.
x ]]> ~countthescars http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/4555196/ http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/4555196/ Fri, 11 Feb 2005 15:07:28 PST I think I'll start now.
Catch y'all later. ]]> ~countthescars http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/4490103/ http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/4490103/ Thu, 03 Feb 2005 16:33:43 PST Abstractness is awesome.
I want to write something that has no relevence to anything at all.

And I bet that someone will read it and think, "man, i can relate to that so much."

It's automatic.
I love it when people say they can relate to what I've written. Usually, the questions I ask just sound right. They're not necessarily things I want to say.
I could write it now, while I'm up late.
I may start it.
Watch this space...
xxx ]]> ~countthescars http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/4429128/ http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/4429128/ Thu, 27 Jan 2005 13:54:59 PST Drama coursework and poetry. Mmm.
I think I'll have to accept it won't be finished by tomorrow, and just go to bed... on time (for once).
Yes, I really, really need a good sleep right now.
But firstly, thankyou to everyone who's left comments on my page or on any of my work, none of it goes unnoticed!
<3
Nighty night.
x ]]> ~countthescars http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/4392905/ http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/4392905/ Sun, 23 Jan 2005 10:42:24 PST
I've been writing quite a lot lately, trying to experiment, and break away from the whole "teen emo poetry" thing... all my poems are starting to sound the same in a way.
My love life?
Very confused.
The rest of my life is kind of... same old, same old.
Got some gigs to look forward to... school work is going ok... my friendships are starting to remind me of the brady bunch...
Yes, there is a slight lack of drama.
But, I'm starting back at the theatre tomorrow so that should be cool. I've missed some people there.
Nothing else really.
x ]]> ~countthescars http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/4370654/ http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/4370654/ Thu, 20 Jan 2005 16:35:31 PST But I can't find any music sad enough to fit this moment right now.
Kate, is now gone. And I don't know where she is, but I can only imagine how she's feeling right now.
I tried to talk to her but my messages didn't get through.
Sean. I don't even want to talk about.
James has just told me that he likes me and man, I would do anything to just switch around my feelings like pieces in a jigsaw...but, like pieces in a jigsaw, they wouldn't fit.
Ouch.
Messed up?
I think so.
Roxi's unhappy, but pretending she isn't.
Everyone's so...so unhappy.
He's missing her. I'm missing him.
Maybe we're just all so tired, and it's something we can just... sleep off.
Because when you have a problem, you sleep on it.
And that makes it magically disappear.
I really wish life was like that.
I wish life wasn't life.
I wish I lived in one of the books I read, or the films, or a game, like baldur's gate.
All those lands are brilliant.
I would go travelling across...everywhere. By the sea.
*yawn*
I should stop talking now.
night everyone.
x ]]> ~countthescars http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/4332289/ http://countthescars.deviantart.com/journal/4332289/ Sun, 16 Jan 2005 05:27:04 PST Not particularly proud of it, but any writing is good practise.
Basically, it'll be a busy day today.
I've got a lot of school work to do, and I have to clean out the guinea pigs and have a shower.
Recently I keep having moments of just stopping, and thinking. Appreciating the moment I'm in.
It happened in PE the other day, I was working on our dance and suddenly I just stopped, and looked around, and thought how amazing everybody in the room was, and how lucky I was to be there.
My view on life has definately changed.
I don't believe in blaming people for anything that happens.
It just does.

What else?
Not much to say as far as my love life goes.
Roxi is trying to set me up with James. haha. I had a dream about him last night.

Friends stuff is cool. Most of the group are pissed off at Toni because of various things, but I doubt anything much will come of it.
Umm... saw callum the other day. That was VERY cool, haven't spoken to him in ages.
Yep, my main worry is school work and money.
I've got an interview at pizza hut on monday though, so if all goes well I should have some more cash sometime around march. And my mum promised to pay half for this hoody I want, so that's all good.
I'm also having my hair done soon. I vaguely know how I want it, but I can't find a picture so I'll have to describe it as best I can.
Yep, life is ok.
Sorry about the size of the entry.
x ]]> ~countthescars