deviantART: by:cranberrydreams

deviantART: by:cranberrydreams http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:cranberrydreams&section=today deviantART RSS for by:cranberrydreams en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Wed, 25 Nov 2009 06:49:26 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png Wanna buy some Magic Cards?? http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/28373300/ http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/28373300/ Sun, 15 Nov 2009 11:37:17 PST

Gallery

Journal

Store

note me

...I'm selling my collection for $50 or best offer... let me know if you're interested!!!

]]> ~cranberrydreams Recital - Words. http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/28102016/ http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/28102016/ Mon, 02 Nov 2009 08:05:40 PST

]]> ~cranberrydreams To Everyone, Please Read and Answer!!! http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/27850508/ http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/27850508/ Mon, 19 Oct 2009 09:20:33 PDT
What do YOU consider frightening (in a story/movie/life)???

]]> ~cranberrydreams Passion, Determination and Commitment http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/27798537/ http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/27798537/ Fri, 16 Oct 2009 14:04:54 PDT
...In the past, I would have worried myself sick, grown depressed at the obstacle in front of me, and thus given up before trying. We all know the definition of insanity, though, right? Trying the same thing over and over expecting different results is insanity. This time I decided to try NOT worrying, and instead focus my energy on fierce determination.

I rode my little pregnant butt all over town yesterday, talking to everyone I knew about finding work. Raking leaves, babysitting, hell, I would have wiped someone's ass if they'd have paid me for it. Word of mouth worked to my advantage, though, and I got two jobs helping friends with tasks they'd rather not do alone.

I made not $50, but total $110; paid my bill, and now I have money left over to buy food.

I'm very proud right now. I decided to commit myself to overcoming, and my confidence definitely paid off. Go me!

]]> ~cranberrydreams Back to School! http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/27741178/ http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/27741178/ Tue, 13 Oct 2009 09:27:32 PDT
And in the many years to come, I will be myself more than I ever have before.

]]> ~cranberrydreams Happy, happy birthday! http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/26445150/ http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/26445150/ Fri, 07 Aug 2009 13:04:37 PDT
We rock!!!

]]> ~cranberrydreams Li'l Bun-in-the-Oven... http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/26063831/ http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/26063831/ Mon, 20 Jul 2009 11:06:19 PDT

I've been noticing a few changes in me lately, and I'm definitely approaching a month late on my cycle.

Wish me luck, I'm gonna be looking for that little pink plus sign.

]]> ~cranberrydreams New cameras, new home, new new new! http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/24499652/ http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/24499652/ Wed, 29 Apr 2009 15:37:06 PDT
My dad just GAVE me TWO sweet ass minoltas with all these lenses and whatnot.... film cameras, OF COURSE. Sorry if I'm not up-to-date with digital, but I have a certain fondness for film that can't be squashed. I'm so excited to use them. We have such good light in our valley, too, so look for some new stuff from me soon and finally.

Moving into my new house tomorrow. Not much stuff to move, and the new house is literally a block away from where I am now. The point is, though, that it will me MINE, ALL MINE!!!! Ok, and my roommate's, but you get the idea.

In other news, I support the legalization of marijuana in the United States. Let's face it, folks, we could get our asses out of debt so freaking fast by taxing the greens rather than wasting money policing it.... And I wouldn't have to look over my shoulder every five minutes to make sure I'm not being followed by the po-po. Seriously, it's a good idea all around. If you disagree, that's cool, but leave your contrary opinions out, please.

That's all for now.

]]> ~cranberrydreams Baby Steps... ouch. http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/24444103/ http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/24444103/ Sun, 26 Apr 2009 11:15:22 PDT
Anyway, I'm taking steps towards the new me. Revamping can be painful sometimes, though. I'm not sure how easy certain things will be. Still necessary, of course.

More later.

]]> ~cranberrydreams I A Rebel Soul http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/23950750/ http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/23950750/ Sun, 29 Mar 2009 12:23:58 PDT
Ok, so we used to be tied to the Earth; now we have almost no knowledge of what's even going on around us. Sure, yes, we have scientists and computers and instruments, but there is no substitute for being a direct steward of the land. What I mean is, we may be all modern and civilized, but our conveniences are quickly killing us. Why do we have cancer? Diabetes? Heart disease?

I believe the intention was for us to grow our own food, raise our own animals, and care for the land we've been blessed to have. We've always had everything we need; the trouble is grubbing what we WANT. Spoiled, selfish and ignorant, we've asked for our current dilemma. We each have a part in it, too. I take full responsibility just as I'd hope anyone else would. The point is, every one of us needs to work on improving the world, even in seemingly little ways. It's not little when it adds up.

Maybe the point now is to reject our modern ways. Rejoice in the recession, people, because it's a chance for us to cure our jaded minds. Let's try caring for a real change. No amount of stimulus money is going to help us, let's face it. What we need is an attitude adjustment. A shift in point of view. A willingness to say, "maybe I don't NEED all this stuff...."

Hey, I'm a whiny kid just like anyone. I'm not tryin' to moralize, but if I am, I apologize. All I mean to say is that we gotta stick together, work together, and for goodness' sake, take care of our Mother Earth.

So sayeth the raving hippie.

Sorry if I ramble, but it is important to me.

]]> ~cranberrydreams Over a year... http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/23777153/ http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/23777153/ Thu, 19 Mar 2009 09:26:08 PDT
I haven't written anything meaningful in over a year. I haven't drawn anything. I had to sell my camera because I was starving. And none of this I am telling you to make you pity me; on the contrary - tell me how much of an idiot I was, because that's more likely the truth. I wasted a year on "finding myself", and all I really found was that I needed to stop bitching and start working my ass off for everything.

My naivety was my ultimate downfall. My inability to say no to situations further sealed the deal. But now I have the chance, and hopefully the time, to make things up a bit. It's been a long road even getting to this point. I know I still have much distance to walk.

...It's a nice day for a walk, though.

]]> ~cranberrydreams Creative Overflow. http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/16779524/ http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/16779524/ Fri, 08 Feb 2008 03:41:58 PST
So. What's everyone up to? I feel like it's been an awfully long ass time since I've really talked with any of my friends on deviantArt. I feel disconnected. Part of that (a large part) is because I haven't had easy access to the internet in a while. I hate it. But I guess it's good, because now I'm trying to work on a life... rather than just being online all the time. All the same though.... miss you guys.

I've started working for a local radio station in town. Volunteer only, but it's the best work I've ever done. I feel very fortunate to have an outlet that's not just work... or partying. It is work, and it is incredibly fun, but it's because I actually WANT to be a part of something. Not just because I have to be for a grade or a buck. You know? It's cool. Way cool.

I'm unemployed, never been more confused about my life's direction, but... this too shall pass. And eventually, I will be in a place that makes more sense. Well, actually maybe not. Perhaps life is just one long string of nonsense. Maybe we're never supposed to be satisfied. Never content. Never complacent.

Happy to announce that I'm still in madly in love with the same man I've always been in love with. And by always, I mean since May of 2007. He lives thousands of miles away in another world... completely. But it's a world that I feel no less a part of all the same. Weird? Ridiculous? Impractical? Nope. Love is very often impractical in the world's opinion. But fuck the world. It's our world - his and mine - that I'm concerned with. Always will be. And I'm going to see him this summer, come muck or mire, daisies or daffodils.

I've got so much energy tonight. I'm sorry this post is so fucking long.... haha. But I hope you don't mind. And I hope you're all reading this. Or at least one of you out there in this wide, wide, weird world.

It's a strange place to be, in a strange time.

Who are you all voting for in the upcoming presidential elections? Me personally, I'm not voting for anyone. At least I don't intend to now. None of them stick out from the drone of political insanity. I still think we should have elected Howard Dean.

I mean, come on! He was real enough to let loose in front of thousands. He didn't wear a mask, he was just... himself. You know? You know? Seriously, though. I'm tired of this white-washed, bland monotony. And although I admire Obama's honesty, I'm afraid of it too. I think he's made a valiant stand clearing up any possible scandal in his past, but Jesus, is it all a front? Some clear their shit up, and some leave it in the closet till another has to force it to light. But which is the saint? The one who leaves well enough alone and tries to move ahead, forgetting the past, or the one who admits he's got faults? The obvious answer should be the latter, but who are we to judge sinner from saint?

I don't want a president who's going to be some phony voice of the masses, if he's just going to be his own voice anyway. I don't know who to trust. We need a leader who is willing to serve his or her people. Willing to leave his feet dirty for a time while he first cleans the feet of those who put him in office. We don't need a conductor, we need a percussionist. The backbone. The one who keeps the beat while the ensemble shouts its melody to the world.

Where is the dignity - not pride - but dignity of our people? Why, for such a young country, are we so confident in our shaky foundation? Why do we think we are untouchable? I tell you, it's our government who are the terrorists right now. The ones who can sneak and snake in and out of scheme and scam with dirty hands but clean faces are the ones we should fear.

Let us remain immune to the world around us. Immune to the flattery just as we are immune to the flakes and floggers. Deaf to the dandelions and the deceivers. Weed out the over confident, not the weak. Encourage those who stumble. Motivate the depressed and down-trodden. Feed the middle class, people, or surely our society will fall to the feudal lords again.

I can't stop rambling. I have so much on my mind that I'd like to talk about right now. I have so much I would like to pen and ink and paint and sculpt from my brain. I love this feeling. It's a mental desperation, because I fear no one's really listening to what I have to say. They're just waiting for their turn to talk.

But that's ok. Everyone has a voice. This time we should hear out the masses and the minorities. We should give everyone a chance to speak their minds. When you look at the bum on the street, do you see him as a man or a mongrol? When you meet the millionaire, do you view him as a tycoon... or a tyrant?

I'm not vying for com... ]]> ~cranberrydreams What's wrong with... http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/16294919/ http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/16294919/ Mon, 07 Jan 2008 00:17:20 PST
Nothing. Absolutely nothing is wrong with that.

There is something wrong with blowing snoz bubbles, however.

....That is all.

]]> ~cranberrydreams If you're a genius.... http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/14479860/ http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/14479860/ Mon, 03 Sep 2007 22:37:41 PDT

..."OMG! you're a GENIUS! Why don't you join the poetry contest from [link] ? Free to enter, 100k prizes. You MUST win it!"....

If you're a genius, click the fucking link and then let's talk.

....Guys, seriously, don't fall for that. Just a helpful little warning for those who might take the overly excitable note seriously.

]]> ~cranberrydreams I want that one. http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/14115758/ http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/14115758/ Sat, 11 Aug 2007 07:03:24 PDT
I... think that's a good thing.

]]> ~cranberrydreams Gee golly gosh. Fucking hell. http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/13878341/ http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/13878341/ Wed, 25 Jul 2007 18:54:08 PDT
Why is it such a huge deal if you get something pierced? I just had my lip done, I've wanted it done for years. Parents hate it, of course. They say my lip will never be the same, that I ruined myself, that I'm ruining my life.... or at least, that's what they WILL say when they see it. I'm not over-dramatising, it's the complete truth.

Second.... I talk to them about schooling in the UK, my dad's all for it, my mom thinks I'm out of my mind and impractical.

Third.... they're coming to visit in a few weeks. Joy of joys, I get to spend a gruelling weekend with the reason I left home in the first place. ...Don't get me wrong, I love my parents. And I actually get on quite well with my dad, when my mom's not around. My mother seems to think there's some incurable fault deep within my DNA that makes me who I am - someone she needs to change.

I hate to sound like such a whiner, but ...in all honesty, this is the hardest time of my life so far. Well, really that's only because I'm learning loads of new things about the unknown and myself.... But in such a transitionary time, it'd be swell to have some backing (real, HONEST support) from the two who so "lovingly" created me.

I put quotations around "lovingly" simply because I don't feel my parents truly love each other. They married because I came along, I came along because the condom broke, and they were together out of the necessity of loneliness. Forgive my cynicism, but if you knew them, you'd see what I mean. Most assuredly.

So at any rate... I feel this is the calm before the storm. Sure, the waves are tossing my little plank of driftwood around a bit now; but when the shit hits the fan, I'll be faced with one hell of a massive front. How should I go about this? The issues I've discussed above are really only a fraction of what my relationship is like with those two. Should I fight them on this? Should I state my case and stand my ground? Or... should I feel guilty for wanting to argue with my parents for my own freedom?

Every child is faced with this at some point. Which is why I tend to think I should go for the former.

]]> ~cranberrydreams Rodolphe Salis http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/13606423/ http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/13606423/ Wed, 04 Jul 2007 11:36:13 PDT
Got a new job at a call center... started this Monday, the 2nd of July.

Working on saving up as I go... travelling to Manchester, UK in October to visit my love, scope out the area, and make preparations for the coming months.

Moving to Manchester, UK by March of '08.

Don't give a fuck about the 4th of July, because we've never had independence from our ignorance. So there's nothing to celebrate.

Can't wait till I can get back to studying; by the time I go back it'll be two years since I've attended any sort of school. (I realise people take hiatus from school all the time... however I'm impatient and I feel worthless when I'm not doing anything with myself.)

Can't wait to get back into the lens... again, driving me insane that I haven't done anything much besides work and sleep lately.

At any rate, though.... for more pointless updates on Sadie's life, feel free to write her an email.

]]> ~cranberrydreams Who's on first? http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/13445070/ http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/13445070/ Fri, 22 Jun 2007 10:09:23 PDT
Sorry, folks, but it's come to my attention that people generally suck. The vast majority of suckers don't really include you guys on dA, so you're safe. You can breathe a heavy sigh of relief. (yeah, I know I sound cocky and bitchy right now... hear me out, please.)

Anyhoo, I went home for a few days to see my parents and all. At first, it was awesome. Relaxed, creative, fun; then it all turned to shit after my mom saw me smoking a cig. Yeah, yeah, I know what you must be thinking - "what the fuck? are you just gonna sit there and complain about your parents??" I'm not complaining. I'm spillin' the beans, letting this frustration out. Because otherwise my bottled emotions would lead me to go absolutely crazy and become the worst dictator the world has ever seen. (it's always simple things like that which cause someone to go crazy, don't you know? with hitler it was lack of support for his art... no one expected genocide.)

I'm not saying I'm a budding female hitler here. But what I am saying is, if my 'rents don't fucking start giving me some peace and freedom, how will I ever fly? Yeah, they gave me wings (allegedly), but they won't give me the chance to fucking take off.

Right now is a very stressful time in my life. I'm on the razor's edge and I've got to fight for every little thing I have. If all goes the way I dreamt it would my whole life, I'll be in the UK in a matter of months. Living, working, studying. Loving life again. Being where I want to be. Where I've always fucking wanted to be. Not in this shithole that tries too hard to be accepted but then doesn't give a fuck about anyone else (yeah, that's right - you heard me, america).

I want to be creative again, but I feel stifled here. I feel straight-jacketed into a life someone else wants me to live. Not until recently have my 'rents even given two cents about me; now all the sudden they're "making up for lost time" and living vicariously through me. It's too much pressure, and not good pressure. You know? Eh, whatever.

Mark my words, I will reach my goals. All of them. But I'm gonna have to pull out my hair to get there, I know it.

]]> ~cranberrydreams So..... Salsa. http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/12877079/ http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/12877079/ Mon, 07 May 2007 14:38:56 PDT
Anyhoo, I bought some good things at the store, and I think my next project in the kitchen is going to be making some fresh salsa with jalapenos, hothouse tomatoes, poblano peppers, onions, cilantro, lime, garlic, and a bit of salt. I'll roast the peppers and tomatoes so their flavor can sweat out in the mix.

Then I think I'm gonna make some cilantro rice just to keep in the fridge for whenever... I'm in a very kitchen-y mood, I must say.

It just feels good when you can buy food, you know?

Here's to climbing out of debt.

]]> ~cranberrydreams It's beginning to sound a lot like bullshit. http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/11871262/ http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/11871262/ Sun, 18 Feb 2007 17:16:17 PST
This Valentine's Day came and went, like any other day. Except for this: that it simply made me realize we're all clueless when it comes to how to love our own selves. Yes, that's right, I said it. Who among you is going to dispute that? Do you honestly, truly, deeply, REALLY love yourself? Not like Narcissus, come on. And not like Hitler, either, people. There have been plenty of selfanizers out there, I'm not asking for a carbon copy of Miss Paris Hilton or any of the ego-ridden children of the world.

You may say you love yourself, that you want what's best for number one, that you understand what it means to respect yourself enough to respect any other person, but I think you're lying to yourself. I'm lying to myself, too. So what's a girl or guy to do?

Should we give up, kick the bucket, or go on a rampage in a crowded shopping mall just to "make a point"? Should we cry, see a shrink, or pray to God that He'll show us the way? Well, we all know how good God is at showing us the way. No, we have to figure it out ourselves. Alone. Without the flowers, chocolates, and candy coated kisses that last and last and last. Without the significant other, without the person who "completes" you. If you can't complete yourself on your own, then maybe Valentine's Day is for you. Good luck, but I don't envy you. Not in the least.

This day, I proclaim solitude and meditation. This day, I boycott the matrimonious masses. This day, I choose to love myself instead.

]]> ~cranberrydreams New Year, New Me... Oh boy. http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/11419426/ http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/11419426/ Sat, 13 Jan 2007 08:06:19 PST
I'm no longer a part of "Our Town", the fairly famous play by Thornton Wilder. And you know what? I'm even more stoked about that. Through a series of humiliations and unprofessional acts put on especially by the "professional" people I was working with, specifically the director and producer, I decided not to put up with their shit any longer. And it was about damn time, too; I'd been putting up with their version of flamboyance for nearly six years. Sure, I gave up an opportunity to be on stage and learn more about acting. But am I dead yet? Are all my chances of furthering my performance experience gone? I hope not. If all my chances are gone, well, then that wouldn't have been the way to go out anyway, to do this "show". I made the right choice, regardless of anything anyone would say to contradict it. I'm sick of being the community doormat. And if I'm ever going to make something of myself, it's not going to be by "taking it for the team". It's going to come with hard work, determination, and an unwillingness to just take what I can get.

I want more from life than the white flag we're all provided with.

]]> ~cranberrydreams skin on skin http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/11130868/ http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/11130868/ Wed, 20 Dec 2006 18:10:21 PST
So until then, I've got a part in "Our Town", a fairly famous play that I'm very stoked to be a part of. I'll be playing the Stage Manager, who is really a narrator for the story. I'm also still taking voice lessons, preparing for a performance on Christmas Eve, and obsessing over good bands that I have been fortunate enough to find inspiration from.

But tonight, I'm simply relaxing with my best friend. Playing cribbage, drinking vodka, and hopefully getting in the hot tub sometime soon.

So with that, I'm going to go take my clothes off in exchange for my bikini.

Cheers.

]]> ~cranberrydreams Sweet Pandemonium http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/11015875/ http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/11015875/ Sun, 10 Dec 2006 10:35:35 PST
Well, I figure, since there isn't anything of real interest or excitement going on in my immediate life, I might as well indulge my fantasy/dream life, right?

I'm real excited to go back to school next year. So I'm saving moolah so I can snag myself a decent apartment, not just a piece of crap. I'd rather have a place to myself, but I realize I might have to have a room-ate (har har) in order to keep up with rent. Blah, I just see myself getting stuck with a girl named Stacey who likes to listen to Justin Timberlake and practice her sorority acceptance speech. I hope that doesn't happen, because I'd really like to get my homework done for one thing... not to mention, I'd like to set up a little photography studio and be able to listen to Black Sabbath without having to worry about who might be offended.

Meh, oh well. It'll come round the way it will. I can't do anything to stop the inevitable (not to say that Stacey is inevitable... but you know).

Time to go nurse my throat. My voice is completely kaput. Maybe this means I'll be able to get out of work tonight... fuck yes, I hope so. I need some sleep for once.

]]> ~cranberrydreams raise your voice http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/10934872/ http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/10934872/ Sun, 03 Dec 2006 10:00:14 PST
Sorry for my depressive moods lately. But it's been going on for the last 4 months, so it was bound to come out somehow, I suppose. I hope I haven't rubbed any of you the wrong way. It's just nice to have "someone", even a cyber someone, to confide in.

Have a good day, all. Keep your toes crossed for me... if you happen to think of it.

]]> ~cranberrydreams blue monday, v. 2.3 http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/10849014/ http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/10849014/ Sat, 25 Nov 2006 19:25:26 PST
am I doing the right thing? I feel stuck in this shady mentality. But I've been writing lately, so I guess that's good.

I make no sense right now, I know this. But that's the beauty of a journal: it isn't required to make sense of anything. at least not mine.

I wish I could tell you all what I was really feeling, but I usually just save that for my real journal. it would just be nice to have someone to talk to. none of you can really talk to me, though. none but a few. maybe that's better.

Why aren't we more honest, as humans? Why are we so afraid of the truth of our sexuality, opinions, beliefs, thoughts, nightmares, inspirations, emotions, etc? Why the fuck do we feel like we have to keep things on the fucking D.L. all the god-damned time? why do I have to feel guilty for spouting profanity in my journal just now? Fuck it all. what the fuck, you know? I'm sick and shit-fucking tired of this stupid ass world. And I'm tired of editing myself for the sake of etiquette. Fuck etiquette. Fuck this fucking fucked up world.

Fuck.

...'scuse me.

]]> ~cranberrydreams Mmm, survey..... http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/10604823/ http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/10604823/ Fri, 03 Nov 2006 14:44:06 PST
Are we friends?

When and How did we meet?

Would you kiss me? Where?

Give me a nickname and tell me why would you call me that?

Describe me in a word:

What was the first impression you had of me?

Do you still think/feel the same?

What things make you remember me?

If you could give me something, what would it be?

How well do you know me?

Do you want to know me, personally?

Are you gonna put this in your journal so I can say what I think about you?

]]> ~cranberrydreams FINALLY, Something NEW! http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/10431940/ http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/10431940/ Wed, 18 Oct 2006 08:19:28 PDT
Anyhoo, how are you all doing? What's new? I finally have internet back at my house, so you'll probably see me around here more often... at least for the next couple of months.

I'm going to be moving to Colorado Springs in January with my best friend since 1st grade, so there might be a dry spell between submissions then as well. But for now, I'm just glad to be back and kind of a part of this again... it's awesome to have feedback on my work, as I'm sure you all can agree!

More later.... ciao for now.

]]> ~cranberrydreams Phew! http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/9723135/ http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/9723135/ Mon, 14 Aug 2006 09:31:03 PDT Mood: Cute

Girly & A-glow
Listening to: Richie Havens--Grace of the Sun

Goodness gracious, me-oh-my.

These last few weeks have been a BLUR. I haven't been online much at all, so if you guys have been wondering (yeah right, you say... you're not THAT special, miss Sadie)... I've just been busy as hell. Hella busy. Like a bee. On crack. And speed.

Ok, enough. But anyway. I haven't been thinking about my online life so much lately, which is kinda good... because before, my online life really kinda was... my life.

Sad? Definitely. All of you who live on the internet are sad, sorry fools!

So I'm getting into the business world... actually, the business of jewelry and fashion. Finally I'm working on beading again. It's expensive to buy materials, but totally worth it in the end. And, um, registering at a local community college for the fall, so I don't come off as a complete bum. At least I'm doing something, right? I'll get back to school, I just need some time off to re-evaluate.

I miss you guys, my loverly friends on dA... hope to catch up with you more soon-ish. Please keep in touch, and I'll do the same.

]]> ~cranberrydreams CSN&Y--Red Rocks http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/9429090/ http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/9429090/ Wed, 19 Jul 2006 17:03:12 PDT Mood: Cute

Girly & A-glow

So it's been a while since I've updated this infernal journal. Good rhyme, eh?

Went to the Crosby Stills Nash & Young concert at Red Rocks (Denver) last night... Tuesday night... got back at 3:30 AM.... it was a FOUR hour long show, people! That was amazing! And even though we were in the 66th row, we could still tell Neil Young was hardcore rocking. Oh man, it was gorgeous. Those guys really still have it, and then some. But I think it was just really exciting to see the group that I've loved since I was a little thing running around the house in my diapers. Totally stellar experience. Really surreal too... although the surreality of it could have been attributed to the massive amounts of ganja floating around the amphitheatre.

I had nothing to do with that. At all. I promise you. Yep.

So anyway... Things are just wonderful on the home front right now. I'm taking a much needed break from school, figuring out what I really want to do... not just what some professor with a Ph-friggin-D thinks I should do. Not that I hate school by any means, but I just need some time to find out what I really, truly, honestly want. Maybe I'll go back to school, and maybe I won't. But whatever I do, it'll be awesome and I'm going to love what I end up doing.

I'm just really excited is all....

]]> ~cranberrydreams HONEY, I'M HOME!!!!!!!!! http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/8952028/ http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/8952028/ Fri, 02 Jun 2006 16:28:12 PDT Listening to: NIN--The Hand That Feeds

OMG, I am SO glad to be back in the mountainous, high altitude, crystal clear glory that is Colorado. No fucking humid stupid Iowa for three whole months. And I'm back with my fam & friends, so of course I'm even more ecstatic!

The trip back was awesome... fastest 15 hours on the road in my life. Brady's a kick ass travel buddy, lemme tell ya. We had a few laughs, a bunch of music, a couple naps and smokes, and we even switched off driving privileges so neither of us was bitchy--like at all. My dad met up with us in Castle Rock, then he and I drove to Canon City and had some mexican food at one of our fave haunts. Drove up the canyon to my little hometown, just after the sun had set behind the Collegiate Peaks. Gorgeous. We were both dog tired and extremely sore... and I was getting sick (today my voice is gone, but oh well). But we were home safely, and I could breathe the air... I didn't need a fucking snorkel to take it in.

So needless to say, I'm effing stoked to be here. My best friend Jess and I are going to our fave coffee shop in the ENTIRE WORLD to hear some live music and drink iced chai in a little bit, after my fam and I have grilled steaks (fuck yes, real food). Listening to the new NIN album, [with_teeth]....... if you guys get a chance to pick that baby up, DO IT. It's different than Trent's regular stuff, but I love it. I've listened to it about five times already. The title track is pretty grand. Well, all of it is. I haven't enjoyed a full album like this since Coldplay's X&Y.... so I guess not that long, but whatev. Good shit, get it however you can.

Anyway, I'm off to take my doggie down to the river!!! He needs some cool water and doggie interaction (not vulgar shit, you guys... he's old), and I need to go check out some kayak guys. So there.

for all of you!!!!

]]> ~cranberrydreams Woot. http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/8928578/ http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/8928578/ Wed, 31 May 2006 08:55:13 PDT Listening to: Nickelback--Savin' Me
Watching: Bleach, episodes 30-33

I am worth $1,734,184 on HumanForSale.com

Im With The Dark Side

]]> ~cranberrydreams As summer approaches... http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/8852596/ http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/8852596/ Sun, 28 May 2006 16:08:07 PDT Listening to: Nickelback--Savin' Me
Watching: Bleach, episodes 30-33

Ok, so I've been at a loss of inspiration for my art and photography lately. I want to create pieces that are more provocative (not necessarily sexually, people), more controversial, more interesting in general. It's fine doing what I do, if I don't want to get any better, but I'd like to be more emotively focused. More daring, if you will. SO....

If you have any ideas, any commissions, any tidbits or suggestions for me at all, PLEASE LET ME KNOW! Summer's coming up very soon, so I'll have WAY more time for creative stuff. Thank God, I say. I'm ready to go home, seriously.

As for my writing, I've got some pieces coming soon. Kinda proud of them... I'm trying to take an edgier route with it, a more honest route with my writing style and sound. I'm also working on writing some songs, 'cause, ah, I'll probably be starting a band of my own next year. Already got the guitarist (he's awesome).

So. Let me know your thoughts, guys, please! You're free to comment here, leave me a note, send me an email, hell... any form of communication necessary.

A GIANT HUG for all of you!!!

Ok, and one of these:

And a

for [link], because he's the best friend I could ever hope for.

Im With The Dark Side

]]> ~cranberrydreams Day of Silence http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/8588831/ http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/8588831/ Wed, 26 Apr 2006 06:04:48 PDT
No, I'm not just being a conceited exhibitionist... this is a cause I hold strongly. Mostly because it relates to a lot of people I know, and then because it's also affected me. So if you expect to [orally] speak to me today (and no, I am not being vulgar), please don't expect to get an audible answer.

]]> ~cranberrydreams Stolen from Wavecutter Industries http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/8518488/ http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/8518488/ Wed, 19 Apr 2006 07:52:35 PDT

Yup.

If You Were... SURVEY!

1.If you were a genre of music, what would you be?
- Jazz or glam rock.

2. If you were a movie, what genre would you be?
- Espionage or suspense. Or both, because they often go together quite well.

3. If you were a color, what would you be and why?
- Green. It's my fave color. Well, either that, or that midnight/twilight blue the sky takes after the sun's been down for a little bit...

4. If you were a piece of jewelry, what would you be?
- An evil tiara. Ask me later.

5. If you were the president of the country, what would you do?
- Legalize marjijuana and make money off it for the country's economy. Basically I'd turn the USA into Holland. But it wouldn't work anyway, and I'm not goingto be the president, so whatever.

6. If you were having a wedding tomorrow, what would it be like?
- It'd be pretty crappy, because I'd only have had a day to prepare.

7. If you were given the chance to meet anyone, who would you meet in the film biz and the music biz?
- In the film biz, I'd want to meet Gregory Peck. In the music biz, George Harrison, definitely.

8. If you could go on a date with your dream man, what would you do on the date and what your dream man be like?
- We'd rob a bank and miraculously escape as stowaways on a ship to Ireland. My dream man would be something like a cross between Sean Connery and Hugh Grant. Except for that prostitution thing. Unless I was his dream prostitute. Um, ok.

9. If you could be any age for the rest of your life, what age would you be and why?
- The age I am every year of the rest of my life.

10. If you were forced to be a doctor, what kind would you be and why?
- I'd get my doctorate in music. So there. I wouldn't have to be forced.

11. If you were a painting, what would you look like?
- I'd look like what Picasso would paint if he were doing a portrait of Woody Allen.

12. If you had to choose between love or friendship, which would you choose?
- I wouldn't choose between them, they are the same. You can't have one without the other. Well, not in my opinion, at least.

13. If you had to be a teacher, what would you teach and why?
- I'd probably teach philosophy... or music... because learning how to think more critically and carefully, as well as learning how to play/write/enjoy good music, would be wonderful ways to spend time.

14. If you found out you were Princess Diana's daughter or son and Prince Charles was your father, how would you deal with it?
- Well, I'd probably cry, because I only ever saw my mother on the television.

15. If you weren't you, who would you be?
- the Orbit Gum woman.

]]> ~cranberrydreams Life in Pollen http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/8509378/ http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/8509378/ Tue, 18 Apr 2006 10:25:37 PDT

]]> ~cranberrydreams Youth Against Fascism http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/8448628/ http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/8448628/ Wed, 12 Apr 2006 12:45:46 PDT another stomach turns
yeah your ghetto burns
it's the song I hate, it's the song I hate

you got a stupid man
you got a Ku Klux Klan
your fuckin' battle plan
it's the song I hate, it's the song I hate

a sieg heil-in' squirt
you're an impotent jerk
yeah a fascist twerp
it's the song I hate, it's the song I hate

black robe and swill
I believe Anita Hill
judge will rot in hell
it's the song I hate, it's the song I hate

yeah a cross on fire
by a christian liar
a black attack on fire
it's the song I hate, it's the song I hate

yeah the president sucks
he's a war pig fuck
his shit is out of luck
it's the song I hate, it's the song I hate

another nazi attack
a skinhead is cracked
my blood is black
it's the song I hate, it's the song I hate

we're banging pots and pans
to make you understand
we gonna bury you man
it's the song I hate, it's the song I hate

I'm a human wreck
a redneck in check
I killed the teacher's pet
it's the song I hate, it's the song I hate
it's the song I hate, it's the song I hate
it's the song I hate, it's the song I hate
it's the song I hate, it's the song I hate
it's the song I hate, it's the song I hate
it's the song I hate, it's the song I hate
---------------------------------------------

Pretty much.

]]> ~cranberrydreams Well, aloha. http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/8426117/ http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/8426117/ Mon, 10 Apr 2006 09:40:30 PDT
I posted a few good shots from my trip, there might be more on the way, I don't know. I took a bunch, but the few that I posted today as well as the very few I might add were the only ones I really liked. I hope you like them too... and if you do, please comment. I love feedback from my friends on dA, it helps me get better! I'll do my best to comment on your stuff too, now that I have some extra time and whatnot.

Ciao for now.

]]> ~cranberrydreams And the cow smoked hash over the moon. http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/8294024/ http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/8294024/ Tue, 28 Mar 2006 11:27:29 PST
See you soon.

]]> ~cranberrydreams 18,000 Pageviews... http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/8263182/ http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/8263182/ Sat, 25 Mar 2006 08:55:32 PST

]]> ~cranberrydreams Devious Journal Entry http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/8253784/ http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/8253784/ Fri, 24 Mar 2006 08:51:13 PST rawr.

......................

yep.

]]> ~cranberrydreams UPDATE: Clicky the Linky! http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/8165753/ http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/8165753/ Thu, 16 Mar 2006 10:50:29 PST rawr.

Mood: Grateful

......yeah.
Listening to: Coldplay, X&Y
Reading: Growing Up--Russell Baker

Ok, so this is a fun little thing to do... go for it.

[link]

My user name for this is "batheontheroof" because someone had taken "cranberrydreams" already. Butt face, whoever they are.

***Who is BA84 Heavy???***

AND DO THIS ONE NOW TOO--the more serious, or rather negative, traits you see in me.

[link]

]]> ~cranberrydreams Goodnight. http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/8070122/ http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/8070122/ Sun, 05 Mar 2006 00:04:59 PST Yes.

Watching: Fight Club

...Oscar Wilde would make a joke about anything, even death.

So as the freezing rain spat-spatters on my window pane tonight, remember to look up at the stars if you can see them. If you can't, well fuck, I don't know what you'll do, eh? ...And as I sleep, breathing softly in my bed, the orange glare of street lights magnified by the white wetness of falling water, dream of nothing. Think of nothing. Wish for nothing. Live, instead... and detach the mind except when necessary to detect the need for common sense and intelligent deliberation. Live logically, but without the dependency on forceful thinking. That's when you'll reach enlightenment.

And please, for God or Ghandi or the Jews' sake, don't listen to a word I just said. It's currently 2 AM and I'm about to nod off to my own dreamland.

Goodnight.

]]> ~cranberrydreams blue monday. http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/7931861/ http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/7931861/ Sat, 18 Feb 2006 06:48:01 PST Reading: Chez Nous
Watching: Fight Club

-How does it feel
-To treat me like you do
-When youve laid your hands upon me
-And told me who you are
I thought I was mistaken
I thought I heard your words
Tell me how do I feel
Tell me now how do I feel
-Those who came before me
-Lived through their vocations
-From the past until completion
-They will turn away no more
And I still find it so hard
To say what I need to say
But Im quite sure that youll tell me
Just how I should feel today
-I see a ship in the harbor
-I can and shall obey
-But if it wasnt for your misfortunes
-Id be a heavenly person today
And I thought I was mistaken
And I thought I heard you speak
Tell me how do I feel
Tell me now how should I feel
-Now I stand here waiting
I thought I told you to leave me
While I walked down to the beach
Tell me how does it feel
When your heart grows cold
(grows cold, grows cold, grows cold)
-------------------------------------------

Do you know what love means? Rather, what does it mean in your beliefs? Do you have the capacity to love?

]]> ~cranberrydreams Happy V-D!! Yeah, I said it. http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/7891082/ http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/7891082/ Tue, 14 Feb 2006 05:14:59 PST Whatever you do today, I hope it's a good one.

]]> ~cranberrydreams Parlez-vous francais? http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/7829676/ http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/7829676/ Tue, 07 Feb 2006 15:00:44 PST
I'm working on figuring out next year's class schedule, and I'm actually SUPER excited for all the things I could be taking. Next year is also the time when we're to declare our major, and I'm thinking of a double major and a minor... I calculated the needed credits, along with all that I've already done, and it would work perfectly. A few of the things I would be taking next year... well, let's just say, people don't really believe I can do them to the required ability stated. Ok, right, well, by "people", I mean myself... but I know what some would say if they knew I was trying to be so ambitious about an area of my interests that I'm not that great at. But I think that's the point of taking courses that you're not awesome with, isn't it? To strengthen yourself, provide a challenge, get better, and just explore the possibilities. At the moment, I'm thinking a double major in English and Art, and a minor in Theater. Yeah. I'm not the best actor. I'm just kinda... mediocre. It's because I'm too damn nervous to really express myself fully, but I know that if I broke my shell, if I worked on it, I could really enjoy myself and get into it.

Anyway, that's enough for now. I don't like writing journals that are TOO long... even though I've done it before (sorry, guys... you don't really want to read my rantings

).

]]> ~cranberrydreams "Super" Bowl? http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/7808113/ http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/7808113/ Sun, 05 Feb 2006 10:57:01 PST
I mean, it's a great chance for guys to get together and drink beer and holler it up while they eat food that could cause annurisms and/or heart attacks, but what's so great about American football? The players are heavily padded and helmeted, they run around the field in tights chasing eachother and a ball, and the only time they actually use their foot is to make a field goal. Or something like that. I dunno, they just... try to come off as being tough, but serious injuries are really rare, simply because they are so padded. I mean, I could totally understand the hype if the Super Bowl were celebrating something really hardcore like rugby, or for goodness' sake, the REAL football (soccer). But it's in honor of men in tights and pads. It's totally a Mel Brooks moment (correct me if you think I'm out of line, please).

Well, today, I will be doing art and perhaps taking some new photos. I need to get out and stretch the Canon. I should probably clean my room, too, but... that won't happen till later.

]]> ~cranberrydreams Heard a funny joke today....The State of the Union http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/7768109/ http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/7768109/ Wed, 01 Feb 2006 06:01:45 PST
The American Empire is in decline, and our modern-day Nero has spoken. Hoo-fucking-ray for us. The only difference is, we CHOSE our downfall. We hand picked it.... in a line-up, we would have had Mozart, Newton, Mother Theresa, Shakespeare... (the equivalent to the choices we had... compared to who we actually chose)... and we STILL would have chosen the man (I use the term "man" loosely in this context) who choked on a pretzel and waved at Stevie Wonder.

America, where's your pride? Where's your dignity? Where's your fighting spirit (because it's certainly not in Iraq)....? America, why are you all the sudden suicidal?

]]> ~cranberrydreams A New Age.... http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/7671964/ http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/7671964/ Sun, 22 Jan 2006 00:11:24 PST
My last year of being a teenager just dawned. I'm 19. And for some strange reason, this year is really hitting home. It seems as though I've got all the time in the world, that I've got a monumental amount of time to use to "find myself" in this infinite universe. Is that all I'm basing it on now? The time factor? What about the importance of purpose and life itself? What about living day to day, making sure I am prepared for whatever happens? I'm not sure about any of it, to tell you the truth. Basically, turning over another year... well, sometimes, even at a young age, gaining another notch in the age stick can make you step back and think.

I think I've got a nouveau new year's resolution: to gain more experiences than years.

]]> ~cranberrydreams Ugh, survey. http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/7599134/ http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/7599134/ Sat, 14 Jan 2006 06:41:57 PST

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.
"and money, which was the base of all Renaissance achievement,"

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can.
Um, air.

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Ugh. Sadly, 'Lost'. Four hours of wasted life.

4. Without looking, guess what time it is:
8:20 AM

5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
8:31 AM

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
Pearl Jam

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
Just ten minutes ago, I was on my way back from breakfast.

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
Armando's (s0lidsn4k3) journal.

9. What are you wearing?
maroon Abercrombie sweat pants, a dark blue sweat shirt, thong sandals.

10. Did you dream last night?
Yeah, and it was weird. I'm trying to forget.

11. When did you last laugh?
Last night.

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Celtic tapestry, photographs, a map, some of my artwork, a poster of War's End Kiss, some other random wall hanging cloth, a mirror, a fan, some postcards, aaaand... that's it. Oh yeah, and a light switch. And some electrical outlets.

14. What do you think of this quiz?
It's another annoying survey.

15. What is the last film you saw?
Well, if 'Lost' and 'Sex & the City' count as films, then those. Before that I can't remember. Today I'm seeing Tristan & Isolde.

16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
A flat in London and my life.

17. Tell me something about you that I don't know:
Well, first of all, I don't know who 'you' are... so I'm guessing you don't know anything about me. I have blue eyes.

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
I would bring glam rock back. I mean really BACK.

19. Do you like to dance?
Yes, yes I do.

20. George Bush:
A figment of our imaginations (aka nightmares). Very soon he'll evaporate and we'll wake up from this horrible dream, sighing with relief.

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Milan

22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Vincent

23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Actually, after I graduate from college, I will be living abroad.

24. What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
Well done, you didn't listen to all those stupid fucks. Thanks for not giving up.

25. 4 people who must also do this in THEIR journal:

]]> ~cranberrydreams New Year... New Me. http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/7580494/ http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/7580494/ Thu, 12 Jan 2006 06:10:30 PST
Don't take this the wrong way... I'm not threatening anything, I just don't want to have things up that aren't seen in my gallery. It still amazes me that some big breasted girl in short shorts can have far more attention than a possible cure for cancer. In a nutshell, perhaps if I started writing dirty poems and taking photos of lesbian sex, perhaps then I'd get my "work" noticed. But the truth is, that wouldn't be my work at all. Because that's been done over and over and over again, to the point of not even being shocking anymore. Isn't art supposed to be personal? Isn't deviantArt supposed to be about art?

Please read it, if only to somehow show me that I am wrong about things like this. But don't just read it for me. Try to see what I meant, what I must have been thinking about. I bet you at one time were thinking the same or similar things. ]]> ~cranberrydreams Happy Christmas. http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/7371656/ http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/7371656/ Wed, 21 Dec 2005 09:54:36 PST
Do I start by labeling things that I'm good at? Or do I look more closely at my personality? Am I to focus on how I react with certain people or situations, or should I start all over from scratch, exploring all avenues of possible interest?

The thing is, I want to be exceptional. I'm not an exceptional person. I can't do anything really exceptionally, and I fear that I never will have that. To put my thoughts in one, concise sentence, I'm quite the dull bird. I'm not happy with who I am... so perhaps I should start proving this unarbitrary-ness to myself? But how? See, THESE are the kinds of things they need to teach us in school. But I tend to think that no one would be able to instruct us on "finding" ourselves, because most people haven't really "found" themselves. What's more, finding one's self is an individual race, so for me to wish that someone would have educated me is just plain silly; one's quest is different from another's.

Oh, I'm so confused right now, I don't know what to think or where to start-- perhaps if I just keep talking something will eventually come to me (either that, or I'll go crazy talking to myself... one or the other, you know).

I find myself wishing that I could just pack up and leave. Or just leave... hell, if I had my choice, I'd leave without a trace, change my name, and just go live overseas where no one knew me. Where no one knew what I was saying, because I spoke an English dialect and they all spoke Finnish or some slang breed of Russian. Just to get away and not have to talk about all the problems that bother me, or the stories of my past, or the fears of my future... but that would be insanity, wouldn't it? To not talk to people, not get close enough to anyone to share things.

I guess I'm just afraid of ...being unimportant. Being forgotten. Being ignored. Maybe I need to think of things in a different way, then. Maybe I just need to live my life and not care whether I'm noticed or remembered. Maybe I need to smile more.

Happy Christmas, all of you out there. I don't know who's reading this, but if you are, I hope you have a good holiday season. Please remember what it's really about, and that it's not about that new XBOX 360, or that co-worker that you want to seduce at the company Christmas bash, or even the turkey that wasn't cooked JUST the way you like it. Be thankful. Love responsibly.

]]> ~cranberrydreams An actual journal entry. Oh gosh. http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/7222232/ http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/7222232/ Sun, 04 Dec 2005 16:43:00 PST

I am more fascinated by the ghettos and industrial parks of huge cities than I am of God's great countryside... the mountains and streams and such. This is not to say that I enjoy the harsh, manmade "parks" more than I do nature, but rather... I am more drawn to it, especially artistically. Perhaps this is simply because I grew up in the serene bubble of nature nearly my entire life, and I've never known steel beams instead of tree branches. But there's an elegance to the way metal can hold its own structure, looking so weightless a hundred feet up. And while sitting on the train, you notice thick, toxic, black smoke billowing from one of the many factories or plants along the way, and you just want the train to stop so you can get out and stare at its ominous, growing cloud for a while. For a society that places so much emphasis on aesthetics, it's funny how we ignore the messes we leave behind... or more often, the messes we encourage. But it's a reflection of us, of our desire to conquer each new task by raping the wilderness with our structures. For some reason, I'm in awe of that. If I have a day to fulfill whatever wish I want, put me out in one of these industrial parks and I'll be entertained for quite some time.

The looming structures of the dark, manufacturers' castles seem to produce, work, drive forward on their own: another contradiction-- they depend solely on correct procedure carried out by their human lifeblood, but almost independently they loom over the cityscape, quietly imposing their forms... always watching... never really sleeping... their deep, pounding, machine music almost lulls me into a trance. I can't stop looking, I can't stop wondering who in their right mind would trap themselves behind the cement and barbed wire walls, as if this bionic calling was their livery. But I am no activist. I wouldn't dare fight the system; the system will prevail.... and in a way, we need the system. We need the smoke, the ash, the burning embers, the churning, echoing heartbeat of these industrial playgrounds. I need them. My imagination needs them... my camera needs them... my pen, my voice, my future... need them.

I will tell my story through the things I see... and in a way, my story is really only theirs'.

]]> ~cranberrydreams Subscription and Deviant Promotion! http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/7209974/ http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/7209974/ Sat, 03 Dec 2005 07:35:14 PST So it's cool.

Hey, I just wanted to shout out and please, please, please ask you guys to go visit AND maybe even comment at

's devpage! He's really talented at his craft, but gets little to nil recognition for it. Please go support him a bit! You won't be dissappointed!

Thanks, guys.

Hmmm.... would any of you like to participate in a contest of sorts? I'm cooking something up, we'll see how much response I get in favor of it.

Ciao... and happy Saturday!

]]> ~cranberrydreams Contradictions. http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/7193549/ http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/7193549/ Thu, 01 Dec 2005 10:45:10 PST I've got a new quiz for you all on this, the first day of the new month, December:

Do you feel misunderstood often by your peers, elders, or those younger than you?

Do you just want to escape from reality and/or civilisation sometimes?

Are you affected emotionally by events, circumstances, or situations? For example, do you feel depressed when experiencing a breakup? Or perhaps do you become elated and content when things go your way?

Are there times when you feel dissatisfied with yourself or your life? If you are a young person (teens to twenties), do you seem to feel this often?

Is it hard to cope when people of a higher position (say, a boss or teacher) criticize your work? Do you feel frustrated and disrespected? Do you feel outnumbered and insignificant?

Ok, and here to reveal your scoring... If you answered "yes" to one or more of these questions, I've got BIG news for you: CONGRATULATIONS, you're just like everyone else!

---------------------------------------

Fabulous revelations, aren't they? To know that we are all unique, and that that very statement is a complete contradiction of the purpose of stating it.

Have a fantastic day, lovelies.

]]> ~cranberrydreams Arabic Courtly Love http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/7072257/ http://cranberrydreams.deviantart.com/journal/7072257/ Thu, 17 Nov 2005 14:12:12 PST
Long story short, marriage simply for the purposes of love will never work, as long as we are humans that need things and desire more. (Please don't take this journal post as just me being down on love, love is a great thing and it does tend to make us happy... but we need to start being a little more mature about this, don't we?)

FACTS ABOUT ME (fact no. 1: I'm bored)--

[My name is]: Sadie
[in the morning i was]: Groggy and cold, but generally happy
[all i need now is]: A double mocha
[love is]: Not what it seems
[i'm afraid of]: Spiders
[i dream about]: Crazy shit that I forget when I wake up (it's probably a good thing)

You:
-- Middle name: Rose
-- Birth time: Er....
-- Birthplace: Denver, CO
-- Last place traveled: England
-- Eye Color: Blue
-- Height: 5' 10"
-- Zodiac Sign: Aquarius

Describe:
-- Your heritage: UK, Ireland, Germany, France, Holland
-- The shoes you wore today: Purple Chuck Taylors
-- Your hair: Dyed brown, shoulder length, fine strands
-- Your weakness: Shopping and chocolate (ok, so it's two...)
-- Your perfect pizza: IlVicino's pizza

What is:
-- Your most overused phrase: "Hey"
-- Your thoughts first waking up: "Can't I sleep longer?"
-- Your current worry: Missing the train to Michigan for Thanksgiving
-- Your plans tomorrow: Go see H.P. 4, hang out with Dave, lounge...
-- Your best physical feature: Eyes?
-- Your bedtime: Whenever I end up hitting the sack

You prefer:
-- Sunrise or sunset: Sunset
-- Gore or horror: Gore all the way
-- Eastside or westside: Er...
-- Stripes or polka dots: Stripes
-- Planes or trains: Trains
-- Metal or hardcore: Metal
-- Pools or hot tubs: Freshwater lakes

Do You:
-- Do you think you've been in love: I'm not sure
-- Want to get married: Yeah
-- Type w/ your fingers: Whaat?
-- Like to take baths: Oh GOD yes.

-- Get motion sickness: Yes
-- Like talking on the phone: No
-- Like thunderstorms: YES!
-- Play an instrument: Yes, but mostly sing
-- Workout: When I can
-- Like reading: Yes

Favorite:
-- Body part: Back and cheekbones
-- Kind of fruit: Strawberries, melon, blueberries, mangos, plums
-- Music to fall asleep to: Any kind will do
-- Car: 1964 Austen Healey (black, with white racing stripes... or cream white)
-- Number: 3 and 7
-- Thing to do: I can't just pick one!
-- Horror movie: I don't really get into horror that much....
-- Color: Green, scarlet, black
-- Food: Mexican, but I'll eat most anyt... ]]> ~cranberrydreams