http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:cuntprincess&section=today deviantART RSS for by:cuntprincess en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Fri, 11 Dec 2009 18:32:27 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/28493130/ http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/28493130/ Sat, 21 Nov 2009 17:10:23 PST

it hurts.


and i went to the movies today.


with joey


raymond calls.


raymond says Lucian is fussy and hes leaving for work


i call robert to check up, Lucian is fine.
>=[

i missed a little girl being abducted.
>=[

Fourth Kind is odd...


do i believe in aliens?
yes.

because of that movie?
nope. not convincing.


your thoughts..
is there non-human intelligence out there?
(that speak Sumerian!)

]]> ~cuntprincess http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/27937118/ http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/27937118/ Sat, 24 Oct 2009 08:35:41 PDT yeah... you..

im tired as shit...





bye!

]]> ~cuntprincess http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/27881386/ http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/27881386/ Tue, 20 Oct 2009 23:01:43 PDT Lucian has been screaming all..damn... day..
teething + constipated
ugghhhh

but i have an interview tomorrow.
krogers.
hopehopehope.
really.

oh and i found an awesome photo of "Dead"
(former singer for Mayhem)
[link]
tehe...
Cat, if i blow my brains out, or die some gruesome death... dont cry..
Take pictures!!!!


(tired beyond belief. nini!)

]]> ~cuntprincess http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/27812836/ http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/27812836/ Sat, 17 Oct 2009 09:31:44 PDT
2. Lucian is 6 months old today.

3. Valerie (Stephanies baby girl) is 2 years old today!!

4. Today is Jenn's(rays sister) birthday party.

5. i get to meet more of Ray's fmaily.
(after 2 1/2 years. shesh)

October 16, 2009
6. i found my wedding dress. ^_^<3

7. got pissed coz BDS II is gonna be released oct, 30th... IN FUCKIN CANADA! grrr

October 15, 2009
8. Lucian says "Moma"
[i only picked "stupefied" coz i like the face ]

]]> ~cuntprincess http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/27547777/ http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/27547777/ Fri, 02 Oct 2009 21:07:21 PDT Nothing is coincidence...
Everything has a reason...
Everything has a purpose...
Not a plan.. Not a path...
Destiny.
It's up and it's down...
But it's there.
Your choices are your's to control...
You pick one thing and everything falls into place as it should fall after that ....

]]> ~cuntprincess http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/27148316/ http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/27148316/ Fri, 11 Sep 2009 11:04:10 PDT i are be poor.

theres the big save (another book) stuff too.
loads of great stuff.
i would buy alot if i had that damn money!!!!!!!!



but noooooo cause i got no customers.
dammit.

]]> ~cuntprincess http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/27087627/ http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/27087627/ Tue, 08 Sep 2009 03:51:57 PDT great products, great deals,
human tested...

]]> ~cuntprincess http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/26942749/ http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/26942749/ Mon, 31 Aug 2009 18:00:10 PDT but im not sick...

my chest is tight...
but my heart is still beating...

my eyes are burning...
but theres no fire left...

]]> ~cuntprincess http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/26833316/ http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/26833316/ Wed, 26 Aug 2009 09:37:16 PDT You cannot hide yourself
behind a fairytale forever and ever
Only by revealing the hole truth can we disclose
The soul of this sick bulwark forever and ever
Forever and ever

Indoctrinated minds so very often
Contain sick thoughts
And commit most of the evil they preach against

Don't try to convince me with messages from God
You accuse us of sins committed by yourselves
It's easy to condemn without looking in the mirror
Behind the scenes opens reality

Eternal silence cries out for justice
Forgiveness is not for sale
Nor is the will to forget

Follow your common sense
You cannot hide yourself
behind a fairytale forever and ever
Only by revealing the hole truth can we disclose
The soul of this sick bulwark forever and ever
Forever and ever

Virginity has been stolen at very young ages
And the extinguisher loses it's immunity
Morbid abuse of power in the garden of eden
Where the apple gets a youthful face

Eternal silence cries out for justice
Forgiveness is not for sale
Nor is the will to forget

Follow your common sense
You cannot hide yourself
behind a fairytale forever and ever
Only by revealing the hole truth can we disclose
The soul of this sick bulwark forever and ever
Forever and ever

You can't go on hiding yourself
Behind old fashioned fairytales
And keep washing your hands in innocence

]]> ~cuntprincess http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/25299260/ http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/25299260/ Sat, 13 Jun 2009 21:51:57 PDT doesnt even feel like a home anymore.
it hasnt in almost a year..

i feel weird when i here,
out of place and unwelcomed.

tomorrow and monday,
im packing mine and Lucian's things
and tuesday,
while Ann and Wallace are away to see Danielle,
im moving out.
going to my moms.

getting a job in tell city
or lewisport
or hawesville,
work on my driving
since mom has my car

mom is, surprisingly,
the only one i feel like supports me.

well, dad too,
but all he can do is listen to Ann bitch
because im still jobless.

and i hate that.

so im leaving.

im getting what i can and poof!
i'm gone.


Wallace made a joke to mom
about helping pay for my car insurence.
"sixty dollars? well hell kim,
me and anna might help pay about $40 of that!
it'll save us $200 a month in gas!"

ouch. srsly.

ralph, when hes not drunk,
is actually a nice guy.
he's giving me his car
and going to drive his bronco

its a tiny little bumble bee
looking thing.
cept its an ugly shade of bluegrey.
and the windows stick
and the gas gagde is a little mest up
and it has troubles starting
and it has no A/C

BUT! it runs


sigh....
idfk...

]]> ~cuntprincess http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/25005695/ http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/25005695/ Thu, 28 May 2009 21:00:27 PDT out of my nose...


owie...


Lucian sleeps through
the night now.
(waking once or twice for a bottle)
wewt!

i feel like dancing...


Groove, slam
work it back
filter that
baby, bump that track.



]]> ~cuntprincess http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/24846272/ http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/24846272/ Tue, 19 May 2009 19:40:52 PDT i have no idea what to say... but when i do, i'll let you know....btw... thanks for the discount on the ice!



"...i am who i am
i'll do what i want
but i cant hide..."
(Here with me)

Lucian is nine pounds now.
we had to take him to the hospital
monday,
his thrush spread to his throat
and i didn't know it
so it irritated him when he swallowed
and he would scream
and scream
and scream
until he started bleeding from it.
talk about scary...
seeing blood coming from his mouth
and not realizing why...
i started shaking and crying...
we have a check up appt tomorrow
but hes doing better now.

and my mom has swine flu.
.... yeah not much to say there
other than she has it.
they caught it early so shes okay..

Nova Vincent is too cute

i talked to shannon today.
he hates childrens music.
he covers his ears
and starts crying.
haha

Lucian likes
Evanescence and APC.
tehe

Me and Raymond are back together.
yays ^_^


uhm....
idk what else to put.


Peace,Love,&Crabless!

]]> ~cuntprincess http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/24479596/ http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/24479596/ Tue, 28 Apr 2009 12:26:06 PDT in not caring what others think. positive remarks? hooray!... negative remarks? just keep them to yourself. srsly. especially if you dont know the entire story.

i believe...
that the earth is a thing of beauty and should be worshipped and treated with respect...

i believe...
that every child deserves a chance to live.

i believe...
that everyone has a right to voice their own opinion, and be respected for it.

i believe...
Animals have voices too. They feel pain just like us and they want it stopped!

i believe...
in faeires, devas, and angels.

i believe...
in the magick of nature.

i believe...
in war with purpose, not senseless violence.

i believe...
in the power of music.

i believe...
words just aren't nearly enough.

i believe...
words can destory the strongest walls.

i believe...
in contradictions.

i believe...
in fate, things happen for a reason, there are no accidents or coinsidences.

i believe...
that i am imperfect.

i believe...
no one will ever be perfect. no exceptions.

i believe...
peoples beliefs should be RESPECTED.

i believe...
in freedom of choice.

i believe...
it's okay to be hurt, to feel pain, to be upset.

i believe...
it's okay to be happy, self confident, and secure.

i believe...
its okay to express that and NOT be put down and critized for it.

i believe...
Happily Ever After does exsist!

i believe...
there are things worth fighting and dying for, and things that are best left alone.

i believe...
politics are a joke!

i believe...
that in a life time, be happy if you can make atlest one person happy. you will never be able to please everyone, so don't try.

i believe...
a broken heart can be fixed.

i believe...
in true love.

i believe...
people have the right to any relationship, gay, open, or no relationship at all, as long as it's consentual.

i believe...
age does not define maturity.

i believe...
in freedom of expression.

i believe...
art cannot be confind.

i believe...
in the unseen.

i believe...
in the unheard.

i believe...
that peace is impossible.

i believe...
this war is completely stupid.

i believe...
in our soldiers.

i believe...
in being random!!

i believe...
in living life the best you can.

i believe...
in no regrets.



]]> ~cuntprincess http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/24433801/ http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/24433801/ Sat, 25 Apr 2009 19:22:01 PDT i bet if i allowed myself to feel right now...
i would probably end up clawing the veins
out of my fucking wrist...



*sigh*

mood: stressed/annoyed/pissy/aggrivated/depressed

]]> ~cuntprincess http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/24391612/ http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/24391612/ Thu, 23 Apr 2009 10:07:47 PDT not so much of it anymore
x_x

so while Lucian is napping,
updates!!

so hes 6 days old today
he's 7lbs and 12 oz.
little pig. tehe
he's the funniest little thing
when you try to take his photo.
haha. "eyes open? kay!"
*closes right as you take the picture*
^_^

he's staying the weekend at his daddys
and im uber nervious.
not that i dont think raymond cant care for him..
just that hes going to be away from me for so long!!
:S

*sigh* his daddy...
still nothing...
and i miss him...
so much...


urg.. anyways.
people are always welcome to call me
or come by and visit!
i get bored and lonely here all day.
srsly.


]]> ~cuntprincess http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/24251275/ http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/24251275/ Wed, 15 Apr 2009 05:28:40 PDT (april 16th, for people who are like me and rarely check dA and wont see this until the 20th)

tomorrow... at 6a.m.
im getting induced.
because someone is stubborn
and didnt come on friday
like he was suppost to.

and im currently angry
at his daddy because
he decides to leave on tuesday
and go to some dumb fbla thing
that he wont be back until thursday (the 16th.
grrrrrrr.
they're leaving at 5am out of louisville.
but i have a really funny feeling
they're going to stop for breakfast somewhere
which leaves his arrival time somewhere
between 7 and 11 am... im guessing.

and i really wouldnt be that mad...
because thats only like a few hours
and hes coming straight to the hospital
when he gets back into town
so my mom or dad can always just sit with me
and wait until he gets there...
(because im really not expecting to
have him until sometime in the afternoon.. im hoping)

if it wasnt for the fact that
their inducing me on thursday
IF!
if Lucian hasnt already come on his own
by that time...
which means theres no guarentee
my water wont break sometime today
while raymond is in louisville
and has no way of getting here.


grrrr....
stupid...

]]> ~cuntprincess http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/23977493/ http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/23977493/ Mon, 30 Mar 2009 22:08:47 PDT i dont think i'm going to make it.

atleast, i hope not...
i actually think i'll be able to
sleep better once hes here.

no more no sleeping on back or tummy.
no more waking up every 2-3 hours in absolute pain.
- i dont mind waking up every few hours...
its just the soreness and sickness and pain that
i cant handle.
no more waddling and sore legs/thighs.
no more pressure pains from his head shoving
its way through my crotch.
no more braxton hicks shit and
horrible contractions in my entire back...
those pains they said was acid reflux...
stupid idiots, contractions in my upper abdomin.
(no i cannot fucking spell. hush.)


bleh....
ima go lay down now...
maybe....
if i can -.-''

]]> ~cuntprincess http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/22963653/ http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/22963653/ Mon, 02 Feb 2009 12:48:54 PST with stupid tress.
that fall on the stupid power lines
and fucks up the stupid transformer box
that the stupid energy people have no more of
so we have to wait another stupid freakin week
to have our stupid electricity back on.
while the rest ofour stupid neighbor hood
has their stupid power,
we have a stupid freakin generator....

grrr...
so freakin stupid!!!

12.
incase your wondering.

]]> ~cuntprincess http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/22839160/ http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/22839160/ Tue, 27 Jan 2009 08:27:26 PST i wanna see my baby boy <333

anyways.
i've written 3 different chapter fours
for 'This, my night'
but im just not happy with any of it.
so i'm gonna drop it.
i'm working on a new project that i should
have up soon.


uhm...
i also have a headache...
and school is out for today...
so i think ima go back to sleep.


bies!

]]> ~cuntprincess http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/22369753/ http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/22369753/ Sat, 03 Jan 2009 08:39:58 PST i want it to snow...
like a lot to were there's
a good few inches stuck to the ground.
T_T

urg.
i have to go plan out baby shower
stuff today.
bllleeehhh

mommy woke me up uber early....
then decided that she wasnt going to come pick me up til eleven...
crackerjack...

i guess it wasnt that early...
i just kinda sorta stayed up til
after 2 am reading...
>.>

Amanda Ashley = great writer.
<333

i have no idea what else to put here...
i just feel like writting...
hm...
OH! i got a zune for x-mas!!
DDDD

puny little 8g.. but still XP

uuuhhmmmm
i keep having these dreams...
some where raymond and i are all happy happy...
everything is great, normal...perfect...
then others where raymond isn't happy with me...
leaving me, cheating, or something to that effect...
T_T
i wish i knew
why i was having these dreams...


a little more than 3months,
and Lucian will be here in my arms
icantwait.icantwait.icantwait.icantwait.
icantwait.icantwait.icantwait.icantwait.
icantwait.icantwait.icantwait.icantwait.
icantwait.icantwait.icantwait.icantwait.
icantwait.icantwait.icantwait.icantwait.
icantwait.icantwait.icantwait.icantwait.
icantwait.icantwait.icantwait.icantwait.
icantwait.icantwait.icantwait.icantwait.
icantwait.icantwait.icantwait.icantwait.
icantwait.icantwait.icantwait.icantwait.
icantwait.icantwait.icantwait.

im so excited... i cant wait to see him <3333333

=']]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]



wellll i have to go... talk to you guys later!!!!!!!

]]> ~cuntprincess http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/22017355/ http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/22017355/ Tue, 16 Dec 2008 14:51:56 PST or even been on dA.
i don't constantly live on the internet anymore,
so you'll have to forgive me, lol.

baby news...
its a boy
they moved his due date to april 10th,
but they think it may be sooner.
We've decided on the name
Lucian Myron Knowles.

i'm so damn excited!
i wish april would hurry up!!
i want to see my son's beautiful face,
to finally be able to hold him in my arms,
to finally give his daddy a chance to actually hold him since i technically get to for the first nine months.
i cant wait!!!!!!!!!
i'm ready for this.

other news...
uhm... none really...
i dropped tech.
i'm going to stay with bod mod.
i really cant wait to get out of this house.
my grandparents are srsly wearing on my last nerve.
my grampa wont have anything to do with me
unless he absolutely has to.
gramma wont shut up about how much i've mest up my life and how im going to turn out like destiny and all this other bullshit...
i haven't ruined my life, dammit!
made it harder.. yeah.
but that much more worth living.
=[
i would move in with my mom...
but im not going to move back to HCHS,
plus she and ralph smoke,
and i really can't stand
to be around it.

oh... and REALLY REALLY REALLY hate wrapping presents....
no...hate is an understatement...
its more like an ungodly fury.
erg.
-.-''

i'll be happy when xmas is over.
really..

]]> ~cuntprincess http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/21388568/ http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/21388568/ Sat, 08 Nov 2008 12:51:39 PST so i'll have to use the bad ones instead >:3

annnnnnyy ways.
i find out what i'm having on the 20th.
i couldn't be move excited.
DDD
well... about that anyways.


ugh.
other than that, i feel like shizz...
srsly...
and i dont know what to do...
i wish i didnt always feel the way i do...
but i always just see more and more reasons to feel like this...





all i want...
is what i can't seem to figure out...

]]> ~cuntprincess http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/21099585/ http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/21099585/ Tue, 21 Oct 2008 17:45:25 PDT 'the fifth of november....'
okay yeah... so i realllly need to stop watching V for Vendetta...

but srsly guys. november.
19 days(i think) after the fifth.
i turn 18

wewt!


"Would you like to watch it?"
"Alright... but put away the sword."

tehe.
so anyways.

for my birthday,
i'd really appreciate a subscription!

you know you love me!!!!


my back hurts.... ehhhhhh

other news.
i need to stop getting cat addicted to books...
or so she says.
she loves it, though.
i know she does.

srsly! how could you resist vampire books ment for 12yrolds!
and- ofcourse- only we can turn it perved.


and OMG! i got to run in D'n'D today!
bwahahaha! itwasfun

i got to play baseball with my club and a rat!!!
xD


*yawn*
well... yeah.
BYE!!!!!!!

]]> ~cuntprincess http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/20685359/ http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/20685359/ Fri, 26 Sep 2008 11:51:19 PDT idk wat it is...

er...

yeah...



OFF TO ECON!!!!!!!
:]










Mood : sick.hyper.angry.RAWRBISHRAWR

]]> ~cuntprincess http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/20564357/ http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/20564357/ Fri, 19 Sep 2008 07:13:47 PDT



can i bashmy head into a wall now?


=[










Current mood broken : "tired"

]]> ~cuntprincess http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/20135215/ http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/20135215/ Sun, 24 Aug 2008 17:37:18 PDT
i'm so scared....
of not being a very good mother...
that he'll leave...
that he'll because of me...
that i won't make it...
that i won't graduate...
that i'll just push people away...again...
that i'll let everyone else down...
(the people i haven't already let down)
that i'll let my baby down...
that my baby won't be healthy...
that i won't be able to do what i want in my life...
what i need to do...

i'm scared...
i'm scared that i'll fail...
that i'll loose everything and everyone that i love
and i'll be left alone
that the only people i'll have left will
be the ones that don't believe in me...
that will rub everything in my face...

i'm so scared...
that he will run...
that he will realize this isn't what he wants...
me or the baby...
that he'll run to someone else...
someone so much better than me...
and won't want any thing to do with his baby...
im so scared...
that he's lying to me
that he doesn't care
that he doesn't love me
or love his child...
that he's just waiting til after highschool,
or whenever his chance comes
then run...
i'm scared my baby
won't have a loving father...
that i won't have a him in my life...
that he'll leave,
and i'll be left with nothing
taking care of the baby on my own...
that my mother will leave again...
that i'll turn out like her...

all this running through my head
and my grandparents wanting an abortion
or just to make everything difficult for me...
i feel like on egg shells with everyone
even with him...
and i hate it...
i know i shouldn't be this stressed
i know its not healthy...
my chest hurts..
i try to relax and i can my
heart rate double itself....

but at least the sickness has stopped....
for now...

]]> ~cuntprincess http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/20044026/ http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/20044026/ Tue, 19 Aug 2008 15:13:50 PDT to put it bluntly...
i'm pregnant...

and my best and probably only option...
is to move to lewisport...

i have a home there...
but i dont want to leave my friends....

i need to relax...

im so stressed...

god damn...

T_T


my mom, for once, is a god send...

srsly...

]]> ~cuntprincess http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/19817417/ http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/19817417/ Wed, 06 Aug 2008 21:56:54 PDT

This time

Tonight the sky above
Reminds me of you, love
Walking through wintertime
Where the stars all shine
The angel on the stairs
Will tell you I was there
Under the front porch light
On a mystery night

I've been sitting watching life pass from the sidelines
Been waiting for a dream to seep in through my blinds
I wondered what might happen if I left this all behind
Would the wind be at my back ? Could I get you off my mind
This time

The neon lights in bars
And headlights from the cars
Have started a symphony
Surrounding Me
The things I left behind
Have melted in my mind
And now there's a purity
Inside of me
(chours x2)




who else wants to watch August Rush now?




(mood isnt working again- hyper/sleepy)

]]> ~cuntprincess http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/19805658/ http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/19805658/ Wed, 06 Aug 2008 09:30:04 PDT and

Blue-
1. cos
2. cos
3. 2D adv. art
4. English (mcdaniel)

White-
1. cos
2. cos
3. Alg II/gen. graphics
4. Econ/ US Gov't

(Cos- Cosmetology)

no art wiff my kitty T_T

]]> ~cuntprincess http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/19209371/ http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/19209371/ Fri, 04 Jul 2008 20:56:51 PDT eeeeeeehhhh

2. my sister is on the
other side of the state
but should back at her
orginal foster home soon.
Thankfully - shes perfectly okay.

3. i need a job.
badly.
i have my app in
eight different places
but really only hope
on one that i really want.

4. mommy wants me
to move in with her and Sue
when i get a job,
and was suppose to call
me back today but didn't.

go figure.



i'm going to go vomit now.
have a nice day.



*mood still not working - bleh*

]]> ~cuntprincess http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/19100432/ http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/19100432/ Sat, 28 Jun 2008 21:51:13 PDT
a) Tell you why I friended you
b) Associate you with something - fandom, a song, a colour, a photo, et cetera
c) Tell you something I like about you
d) Tell you a memory I have of you
e) Ask something I've always wanted to know about you
f) In return, you must post this in your journal.


just pick what you wanna knoww




(my mood thing still doesn't work)
Mood: Blue.

]]> ~cuntprincess http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/19054292/ http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/19054292/ Thu, 26 Jun 2008 09:50:50 PDT my mood thing just wont let me change it..
im actually very very upset...


A baby bird fell from its nest,
and my kitty decided it was lunch...
and attacked the poor thing...

but luckly britty was playing super hero
and shoo'ed kitty away...
but i wasnt quick enough...

i would have left the birdy be
so the momma would come back
but kitty ripped up his wittle wings
and some made some cuts over his body
and his neck was all crooked and bent up

so i scooped him up
and sat under the tree
craddling him
until his suffering finally ended
and he passed on...

and i cried...
and cried...
for the little life that was taken...
for the last breath that was taken in my own hands
for the baby birdy that never even got the chance to soar across the sky.....

until daddy took him away
saying he was nothing more
than a sespool of germs and diseases
and threw him in the garbage
and i cried harder..
i was the only one who thought
of the baby birdy as once a living creature,
a beautiful life that belonged among the clouds...


i guess now,
his great spirit is
now flying above the clouds,
to the stars...

should i get this emotion
over a baby bird....?

T_T





sorry i havent posted ch4.
my charger to my laptop is acting up
and not letting me on
longer than 15 minutes at a time,
if that.
and my grampa is being an ass
and kicking me off his computer right now...

byes....

]]> ~cuntprincess http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/18876579/ http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/18876579/ Mon, 16 Jun 2008 15:33:49 PDT 1. Post these rules.
2. Each tagged person must post 8 facts about themselves on their journal.
3. At the end, you have to tag 3 people and post their icons in the same journal.
4. Go to their pages and send a message saying you tagged them.
5. No tag-backs.


Britts 8 FACTS

1. I got engaged at age 17.

2. i love flowers

3. i'm rave/kandi kidd

4. i love surprises and being spontanious (as long as i dont know about it - like "oh i got you a surprise that you haveto wait a week for")

5. i love stuffed animals

6. i'm a witch.

7. i love poppy music and lyrical music

8. i love being random and crazy

Who I Tag-




]]> ~cuntprincess http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/18792164/ http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/18792164/ Wed, 11 Jun 2008 20:58:50 PDT thursday morning,
(probably a few hours ago for some of you)
i am to wake up,
get dressed
and leave for Kansas.


uuuggghhh

i dont know how much
i'll be online,
or how much i'll be able to post.

i promise i will get
straight on the next few ch.s
wen i get back.

i have a shit load of ideas,
not just to write it all out
and try to make it amamzing.

key word here...
TRY

wish me luck!!!



i'll be back home thursday,
at the lastest.


I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!


]]> ~cuntprincess http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/18705109/ http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/18705109/ Fri, 06 Jun 2008 21:37:04 PDT i would work on a new ch.
but theres 7 kids running around my house,
being loud and shit
and i cant concentrate
soooo
im just going to rant.


i have a headache.

i am leaking more blood then a damn slaughter house.

i am cramping.

i want ice cream.

....i have JStar stuck in my head now.

i have to leave for kansas and miss...

1. mine and my babys anni.
2. Far From Fallen show
3. and i wanna say there was something else
but i cant really think straight.

i missed 'Who framed roger rabbit'

but got to spend time at the mall with my baby

i burnt my finger lighting fireworks.

but one thing happened today
that was amazing
that people are going to call me a damn idiot for
and yes i know i am so please don't remind me
but i'm a damn idiot whose in love.

and greatly religious

and when ray and i got engaged
we did a rite that stated
"so long as the love shall last,
so shall the bond between our hearts"


so guys what guys?

by love, not materialistic objects,
law or any other means
but our emotions...

i'm still engaged.
(kiki, please, just don't.
im happy, don't bash me.)



(and don't say that you wouldn't.
because you would.
you emotions aren't hard to read)


i am proud and very happy to be back with him
things are better than ever,
with everything,
better than i ever thought possible.
talking more,
understanding,
just everything is amazing

yeah, we have rough spots

but we are trying to
communicate better
and work things though.

Trust is still an issue...
but slowly and surely...
pink promises and blood oaths.



Only time will tell


and now,
a survey thing...

stolen from *IHeartBunnies
You MUST answer all questions honestly!!!

Have you?
1. Kissed someone in the past week- yus
2. Hugged someone in the past week- yus
3. Been in a fight in the past week - nope.

Do you?
1. Like someone - nope
2. Have a boyfreind - fiance
3. Love a non family member - yus.

Would you?
1. Ask someone out - why would i? i have someone
2. Kiss a stranger - i have before
3. Die to save a friend - yus.

Are you?
1. Human - barely
2. In love- madly.
3. An outcast - yus

Yourself
1. First name - britty
2. Second (and third) name - diane
3. Last name - Loyd
4. Occupation - student...

5. Height - 5' even
6. Hair colour - multi
7. Eye colour - grey
8. Age - seventeen

Favourite?
1. Book - deeper than the night
2. Movie - dont have one
3. Song - crushcrushcrush by paramore
4. Band - currently - savage garden

5. Animal - dont have one
5. Place - anywhere out of my house
6. Day - saturday
7. Number - dont have one
8. Season - spring

]]> ~cuntprincess http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/18599497/ http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/18599497/ Sat, 31 May 2008 20:00:46 PDT without it all going to helll

you said you would do anything
to make me happy...
but all you do is hurt me more...
so just forget it all..

i'll just ignore it all...
i'll just ignore the pain...
i'll just bottle up all this bullshit
i'll just keep it all inside

because obviously neither of us
is ready to be mature enough
to not take it all the wrong way
and make the other person
feel like shit...

because i guess it is immature
of me to tell you how i feel
and why im hurting
when i know all its going to
do its hurt you

because im stupid enough
to not just learn to live
with the shit
and tell you my problem
and expect you to change
yourself in order to please me

because all you can do
is make me feel like shit
and call yourself a let down
wen you never let me down

i let my self down
by expecting too much
and making you think
that your not good enough
when you are the best thing
thats ever happened to me....

i dont know what else to do...
except to keep it all bottle up inside...
forgotten....
because i feel thats
all i can do
without hurting you
and starting this chain reaction...

all .... over .... again....

]]> ~cuntprincess http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/18293157/ http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/18293157/ Mon, 12 May 2008 16:53:09 PDT soo the government is fucked up.
i've told you all this once before...

but they still will not release any information
on my sister.
even though we have legal rights to know where
she is at any point in time

sooo we have to get a damn attorney
so my grandparents can fork out
a shit load of money
that we dont fucking have just
to find out where she is
and why they took her away.

its fucking stupid as hell.
aaarrgggg

T_T

all we know is that shes in a
medical sensitive home....

thats it....

all i wanna know is where my sister
is and why they took her away
from a damn good home.
is that too much!
goddamn...

]]> ~cuntprincess http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/18264810/ http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/18264810/ Sat, 10 May 2008 22:22:52 PDT ugh...
i know i shouldn't do
the things that i have done...
yesterday...today....
but i just can't help it...
it' just so natural
when i'm with him...
to just.....

aksjdfaskjdfkajd
*pulling my hair out!!!*

you pass us by on the street
and you think we're
"together"
but we're not....

and its confusing....

yeah... i know...
so much for time.


but everyone knows
im not exactly patient...
and once i figure out what
i really want the most...
i go for...


and thats probably the worst thing
about all of this....


Shit!!

i hate being confused..
T_T



actually no...
i was wrong...
the worst thing about all this is....

I STILL CANT FUCKING TRUST HIM!!!!

i mean i want to
and he has proved
that i can trust him
to a point
but not fully.
just slightly
and even to that point...
i don't trust him



kjklasjfalksjdfkalsjflksjdfkjfajfkjaeikf

sixtyfootmonkeys.

]]> ~cuntprincess http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/18170904/ http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/18170904/ Sun, 04 May 2008 19:25:49 PDT the state came in and took Danielle away from her goddamn school!
her foster parents dont even know anything
its fucking rediculous!
they took the Raders (her foster family) son
who is also autistic.
for no fucking reason at all!!!

i fucking hate kentuckys social services.

we have our ideas about wat happend..
but nothing for sure yet...

but what we do know is...
Danielle and Andrew are in government custody...
no idea where the are or anything.

we dont even know if they their medication...
if she doesnt have that...
she could seriously die...

im not sure about Andrew about that...


im just terrified for her...
this..
this just doesnt add up..


it just isnt right..

]]> ~cuntprincess http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/18109583/ http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/18109583/ Wed, 30 Apr 2008 21:49:32 PDT so to fill your guys in on wats been going on...
Ray admitted he cheated...
and lied
and everything.
Tiffany admitted she lied as well.
He, Tiffany and I talked it through
in a 3 way phone convo...
he and tiff will remain friends.
me and tiff are going to stay friends
and talk and stuff.
make sure theres no more of this shit.
and Raymond and I...
well mostly me, he just agreed...
that I wouldn't...Couldn't
Can't and Will NOT
forgive him.
and right now, i can't trust him
with a damn dime.
but...i have given him time
to prove that hes trust worthy..
and i dont mean like,
not a month from now...
i mean, seriously...
time.

like, by graduation...
in a year
so DON'T start thinking
that me and him are going to jump up
and start dating again.
hell, i dont even know if we are!!
i just want to know the truth
and if he really loves me like he says he does,
he'll work to regain my trust

if not...
well...tough shit for him.


and please!
dont getting pissy or upset with me for this..
its just wat i feel is best for right now....

i do have feelings for him
im just trying to figure out wat feelings and how deep they are...

]]> ~cuntprincess http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/18058952/ http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/18058952/ Sun, 27 Apr 2008 17:10:09 PDT i dont really know what to put here...
i just got tired of looking at the other journal entry...

my mind feels like its going to exploded.
im just so damn confused,
i just want to know why i feel like this.
i was so damn fine..
now a month as past
and its like....
*BAM!*
"your not getting out the emotional stress this time!!
bwahaha!"

i've searched my mind
trying to figure out why im like this
why that damn photo pisses me off so badly
why his silence is so much worse than
actually talk to him.
why i still dream of him.
why i think back to all our
memories together soo often
the nights we shared together...


but why it hurts so damn bad
to think about running back to him.
why the logical part of me
tells me that its not going to work
its just going to fail again
like it has three times
and 4th time would
just be more of a emotional
heartache....



gah!
someone fucking shoot me now!
please!!
this life
is a fate worse than death...

]]> ~cuntprincess http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/17968320/ http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/17968320/ Mon, 21 Apr 2008 22:26:02 PDT it's the worse thing in the world.

i don't know how i should feel anymore.
my emotions change nearly every
five minutes, so it seems.
i just want to feel happiness again.
not this damn confusion.
not this depression
not these moments of happiness
but something that last
longer than a few hours.
i want something i can feel
and not change from
thought to thought.
but the more i think about this
the more i just feel...
here.
not happy, or depressed...
not cold or empty...
or emotionless...
just here.
everything is here
but i guess...
i really dont feel like i have a
reason to feel happy...
or to feel sad...
but when i do feel happy,
i'm completely ecstatic.
when i'm upset,
i'm morbidly depressed...

does any of this make sense?
or am i just rambling in my confusion?


...damn...

]]> ~cuntprincess http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/17796954/ http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/17796954/ Fri, 11 Apr 2008 14:30:30 PDT my cat just rolled his eyes
at me.
seriously.

i yelled at him
for tormenting my
hamster, which i named
Darius!

and he looked at me
all bored like
then rolled his eyes
like
"omg bitch stfu! i know!"
and looked back at the hamster.

wow. i didnt know it was possible
for cats to roll their
eyes.
im highly amused by that.


ANYWAY
i havent updated this thing in a while
so ya
heres your update bitches!!

]]> ~cuntprincess http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/17604891/ http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/17604891/ Mon, 31 Mar 2008 11:48:29 PDT no, nothings happened, which is odd
i just feel soo much better.
about my self.
about everything.
i haven't had any headaches.
i don't feel all gloomy, icky and depressed.
i actually feel...maybe...BIG BIG MAYBE....
....happy.

yeah, things aren't perfect right now.
things are crappy between me and my mom.
my rooms still a mess.
im still like 10,000,000 lbs.
but...right now i couldn't care less.
i feel like i can actually love myself
not because i've done something great
because fuck knows i'm the worlds worst accident
and that i fuck up everything...
but...because i'm me.
i dont feel like have to charade
around as someone i'm not.

it's like huge bolder has been lifted and
i can feel alive, happy, beautiful again.
like i haven't in years. (i really haven't)

God, I love it!!!!!!



yes. i know once i post this
everything will crash down.
but i'm living it up right now
and pray it last a while.


]]> ~cuntprincess http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/17485403/ http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/17485403/ Mon, 24 Mar 2008 02:02:56 PDT im single again...
and hes depressed.
im just fuckin numb
which is a good thing...
i guess...

i plan on staying single for a damn long while.
i'm sick of relationships.
this past year has been
absolutely crappy.
just like the year before.
i fucking hate it.

but....
i have my kiki.
my puppy and kittys
my notebook and pen
and my camera.
thats all i need.
they are the only thing
that makes life worth living.

bleh...
save me?
good luck....

]]> ~cuntprincess http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/17429460/ http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/17429460/ Thu, 20 Mar 2008 16:24:25 PDT lately, all we do is disagree, sit in silence or just hurt each other even more.
why do it always end up like this...
third time we've tried,
and i honestly do love him
but i'm beginning to loose faith...
quickly.
i'm so tired of the stress of being in a relationship
and having to watch my words
and actions so i don't upset him,
but keep my emotions in tact
and try (epic fail) and explain what hes done
to upset me, to hurt me.
it's too damn complicated...
but i love him so fuckin much!
i dont want to lose him!!
hes everything to me!
i don't want to hurt him
but it seems no matter what i do,
we both get hurt.
we've tried so damn hard
to make this work...
but...
i don't think i can do it anymore...
third time failing....
maybe it's just not meant to be...

my heart hurts so damn much..
what should i do.... T_T

I've asked some of my friends,
but it seems i'm still stuck...
i still don't know what to do.

Thanks Cat for helping me out so much
and listening to my rants.
it really means alot to me.

]]> ~cuntprincess http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/17355338/ http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/17355338/ Sat, 15 Mar 2008 23:07:46 PDT so ya, not listening to Astrid Haven didnt solve my constant dream thing,
so im still going to continue to be addicted to them.


so today -
Caitlin, Keeley and Cooper came over today
gosh i love them...
they brought me two baby hamsters,
the girlie i gave to my baby sister
and kept the boy for me
but i need a name.
i've narrowed it down to...
Tox(sihk)
Gizzy/Gizmo
Gidget
or
Azzy (see, am way too addicted to AH)
and suggestions?

also;
kiki is over here
and we too picss
some will be up soon.
excited?
i know i am!
haha!

LOVE!!

]]> ~cuntprincess http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/17309670/ http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/17309670/ Wed, 12 Mar 2008 23:16:17 PDT some pretty sick and twisted ones... it gets pretty demented
and i get super scared because these are coming from my own self consicous...
and lately, my lullaby as been Astrid Haven,
and my dreams have increased dramatically...
i can see were my dreams have been influenced by that,
Astrid Haven has some twisted lyrics, but some i can barely understand bc of how Astrid sings at times...

but i'm just wondering...
i've had these dreams for as long has i can remember,
so its not the music.
except now, i here their music in my dreams.
All the colors in my dreams are dingy, dried out, and faded.
theres always this wicked looking sun, evil eyes and a crooked smile.
i have pictures from when i was little, when i first saw it in my sleep and drew it when i would wake up.

last night, one of the dreams i had, ( i usually remember 2 or 3 a night.) this being the more recent.
i dreamed i was in the bottom of a wishing well,
sitting in a small puddle of my own blood.
coins were being thrown at me,
and i could hear the intro to Pout Digger repeating...

when i wake up in the shadows of the wishing well
and i can tell you that its never the same

but theres another voice reading over a
poem of some kind...
thats been playing over in my head all day.
it wont leave me alone,
no matter how much i try to ignore it.


i woke up in the shadows of the wishing well
i guess my dreams finally fell through,
wished on pennies rain through,
fall on,
expecting me to grant them.
shivering in the cold and dank
surrounding me, my own blood.
hidden in the dark,
no one can find me
no one can see me
just the way i like it,
engulfed in darkness.
in these shadows,
with the pouring wishes
that wil never be fulfilled.
i'm tired of make them come true.
i wont do it anymore.

and in another,
there was alot of hills
and everything looked drawn, and etchy.
there was this huge dead tree
and a boy, who looked like he'd been drawn and just pulled off a peice of paper was smiling at me, with a noose around his neck,
tied to the tree
and ofcourse the wicked sun was looking down on him smiling.
then the hill collapsed and all that was left was the sun, the tree withthe boy now hanging from it, and all darkness...
a sun that sheds no light.
the boys body eventually unhinged and fell into some great abyss
and the head, still tied to the noose, started singing.
i dont remember what,
but it was singing to me.
then the branch swung and the head came flying at me
and i woke up.

those two arent nearly has bad as my others,
sadly....

i'm working on some pictures, dipicting scenes in my dreams,
i'll have them up soon...
but for tonight, i'm changing my Lullaby...
Paramore.

if you know anything about dreams,
please let me know,
im tired of these dreams..

]]> ~cuntprincess http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/17124750/ http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/17124750/ Fri, 29 Feb 2008 21:18:14 PST two years off drugs.
i still cant believe it.
3 plus years of my life,
wasted...
but i'm making it up.
its been over a year since my last cig,
and a few months since my last
drink and cut.
I'm aiming to make those months years,
and those years grow in numbers.
i would have never been able to do this
without all my friends
and family.
you guys are incredible!
i love you all!
i've been through so much,
and these past few, 3? years
have been soo hard!
espcially with getting my life in order,
well still doin that
but you know wat i mean.
i've had soo many chances to relapses
like today even, could have drank.
its really hard to turn away from something so nice
something so relieving
but its worth it.
and im extremly thankful for every moment that i am sober.
thank you everyone that put up with my bullshit.
i love you guys!!

]]> ~cuntprincess http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/16604413/ http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/16604413/ Sun, 27 Jan 2008 21:17:04 PST August 18, 2007 - attempt two
November 24, 2007 - attempt three

new date
January 27, 2008
7:10ish, under the stars
he proposes.

i'm so ecstatic!
i can hardly stand it.
i've worn this smile
since he dropped
to one knee.
tears stream down
both our faces...
=']

hes my everything,
he really is.
i would be nothing
if i lost him.
<333

]]> ~cuntprincess http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/16461093/ http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/16461093/ Fri, 18 Jan 2008 14:41:07 PST Whats your deal?
i haven't done shit
but your acting like
I'm the worst person
in this damn world!
Is it because of him?
because i actually
love him and your too
damn antisocial to
actually go out and meet people?
you hang on to the past
likes its all you have
when you know damn
well you have so much more
you have me,
i'll always be here for you
and you know it.
you have Shannon
and Ray, yes he does still care
hes irritate as hell with the
way your acting,
just as i am.
you have a future,
you know you do.
take advantage of
what you have now
get off your sorry ass
and fuckin do something!
sitting around feeling shitty
about yourself isn't going to
get you anywhere.
i've been feeling like shit
for the past couple days
because i know its hard for you
and i want to help
but you wont fucking talk to me
you fucking ignore me.
you wont let me in
and its fucking killing me.
Please, Talk to me.
call me.
something...
I miss my best friend....

]]> ~cuntprincess http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/16416652/ http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/16416652/ Tue, 15 Jan 2008 12:04:10 PST
A Werewolf in the full moon,
not one to touch.

A vampire in search for blood,
the elixer of life.

A mess left after a tornado,
damaged.

A drug addict feining for a fix,
a little slice of heaven.

An actress with no audience,
just an empty house.

A nympho craving that ----,
refusing the whore house.

A lost child's need for a mother,
abandoned.

A writer who can't find the words,
an emtpy page.

A beauty queen with no attention,
cries her prefection away.

A cold heart lost at sea.

Simple things ment to be beautiful...
but they're not.

just a little peice of me...

Walking in a Rose Garden...thorns and all.
Capturing the beauty and the pain
all in my memories
as they take form in my head

]]> ~cuntprincess http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/16351599/ http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/16351599/ Thu, 10 Jan 2008 23:52:40 PST sometimes,
on the rare fucking occasion,
i like knowing what the hell is going on.
chya right....

Ki, i know your reading this
whats up between us?
i try to talk to you,
although these past few days
i haven't been feeling well.
i dont know if it has something
to do wiff raymond
or what the hell is going on.
i've been grounded.
haven't been able to
really do anything.
you've walked right past me
without even looking at me
when i just wanted to talk.
things have changed
i know they have
im not stupid
i just cant figure out wat.
help me out here kiki
your muh best friend
and love you so much.
you like a fuckin sister to me!
=[

]]> ~cuntprincess http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/16049979/ http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/16049979/ Sat, 22 Dec 2007 20:59:46 PST Yes, i don't say "merry christmas" i have more respect for everyone that doesn't celebrate christmas, like myself.
anyway.
it's been a while since my last entry so i figured i'd update this thing.
i got an early xmas gift...a baby bearded dragon.
shes adorable. i'll have a picture of her up here soon, i'm sure.
times have been really crazy here lately. christmas is soo hectic. its insane. finals are over, the first semester is done. i can only hope i past...if i didn't, i'm fucked.
and i wont have art with my best friend next semester because she has drivers ed. i'm going to go insane. T_T
Akira, my baby dragon fell asleep on the keyboard..how cute!
anyway, everyone is getting plans mixed up, nothing is going like its suppose to. its...hectic.
-sigh-
i'll be so glad when this is all over.
and when my headache is gone.
oh wells, i suppose.
it'll be all good soon =]

]]> ~cuntprincess http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/15674378/ http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/15674378/ Mon, 26 Nov 2007 04:47:45 PST Finally Seventeen!
and STILL can't drive!
how grand! lol
this weekend has been great, it really has.
first, a long break from school, ALWAYS nice!
then, i get to see my sister.
i swear, i love her more than anything
and i do mean anything!
then a boy..
oh if i could only say
but its onthe hush hush for now
until things are settled.
the only damper from this weekend.
but i really dont mind.

Everything this 5 day [lol!] weekend
just went perfect.
i wish it was always like this..

last night, this morning..
i really dont think i could be happier...
unless, of course, daddy killed over
or mommy calls and tells me that she FINALLY got
a new apt.
closer a certain someone <3

i only wonder though..
how long this will last?
happiness and i never last long...
oh well i suppose...
enjoy it while it last!!!


]]> ~cuntprincess http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/15526607/ http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/15526607/ Thu, 15 Nov 2007 20:58:35 PST was to be the one he told everything to.
his life, his feelings, his secrets...
but he still hid from me.

all i wanted...
is for us both to be happy
together...
but neither of us were.

all i wanted...
is what i didn't even
know i needed.

i've tried to move on
but i miss him.
i've tried to live again
but thoughts of him
still fresh in my mind.

i dont know what to do...
i dont know what to say...
he still has my heart
in his hands
he wont let it slip away...

but...
i cant do it again
i cant take the risk...
i've already hurt him so much...
but i cant turn away...

]]> ~cuntprincess http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/15027620/ http://cuntprincess.deviantart.com/journal/15027620/ Fri, 12 Oct 2007 10:45:09 PDT used, and useless.
i have served my place here...

i am...
obsolete.
there is better ones than me

i am...
a failure.
that is my place here...

i am...
a disgrace.
failure at everything in life

i am...
just another face.
nothing special

i am...
a fake.
i'll lie to your face, just to give you peace

i am...
never good enough.
to be that special gleam in anyones eye

i am...
not worth your time.
you can find better

i am...
just another lost girl...
looking for someone to
look me in the eyes...
tell me im wrong...
take me in their arms...
and love me forever...

But i just remain this ghost
of another lost girl
drifting among this world.

because my soul mate
the one who is destined
to finally see me through
is gone.

i cant even wear my mask
i cant hold it up
without it actually cheering me up
setting me up
for more disappointments
so i'm not even going to bother anymore...

]]> ~cuntprincess