http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:d3pr32210n&section=today deviantART RSS for by:d3pr32210n en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Tue, 08 Dec 2009 02:32:54 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/28227911/ http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/28227911/ Sun, 08 Nov 2009 22:08:33 PST
Having someone quit without any notice is hard. I was working everyday for at least four weeks. Now we have two new people; one I am glad to say is a friend of mine. Once we get them all trained I should be uploading a lot more photos.

My photo teacher has come to the conclusion that there really isn't anything for me to practice on. She doesn't think I need to get better at anything. Now I just need to get my portfolio in order and start working towards what I want my photos to be. The subject matter will be hard because nude women aren't exactly school appropriate. I've done enough band shoots to last me until the next major metal fest comes through town.

If anyone knows anyone in the Phoenix, AZ area (male/female) with an alt style who is willing to model for me, then please help me get in contact with them. I can't exactly pay for the use them so if they are willing to donate their time for my practice I will be exceedingly grateful.

~Aemilia

]]> *d3pr32210n http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/26487350/ http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/26487350/ Sun, 09 Aug 2009 15:53:35 PDT
The following is the comment this person left and our conversation after.

Josh: "13] What is your favorite color? Either the absence of color or the presence of all colors. Depending on what field of art you study." White, and Black. Absence of all color: white. Presence of all color: black. You don't need to study art to know that. Nor do different studies about art depict that they are different.

Me: It you draw or paint then White is the "Absence of Color". But If you are into photography like I am, its the opposite. Black in the "Absence of Color". Didn't know that DID YA!?

Josh: Then photography is completely retarded. Because when you mix ALL colors you get BLACK. When you have nothing but a sheet of paper, you get NOTHING. Same should go with photography. If you are taking a picture of lets say, a black and white bird. Now by your means, the black bird would actually be white, and the white bird black? No. Maybe you just don't understand.

Me: Maybe you're just ignorant. Look it up. Basic principals of photography.

(you can ignore this next part. It has nothing to do with the basic principal of the argument.)

Josh: Ignorant? I think i shall. Ten Tips for Better Pictures Simplicity - The simpler, the better Distractions - Avoid them! Cropping - Do this with the camera first. Capture the most important part of the picture - the part that makes the story. Your pictures need to have a variety of types of croppings. Perspective - Try to get interesting perspective that other photographers have not tried, or that you have not often seen. Bend your knees, and tippy-toe whenever necessary. Standing on a bench, chair, ladder, etc. can be an excellent helper. Lighting - Use natural lighting whenever you can. You want to create a mood with your lighting. Watch where you have shadows. Any indoor picture may need a flash. Action - Place yourself close to the action. Try to get people in action. Capture their daily activities. Sprts scenes lend themselves to fast action. When photographing sports, try to get as many faces as you can. Contrast - Try to get your blacks as black as possible and your whites as white as possible. Contrast small shapes with large shapes. Creativity - Create a new view of a common picture. See things in a way that you never noticed before. Crop your center of interest so that it is telling the whole story - showing faces, expressions, moods, movements, stances, situations, and experiences that we all share at one time or another. Find our likenesses and differences. Consistency - Be as consistent as you can. At first this will be difficult, but it will slowly start to make an impression on you when you do certain things the same that give you good pictures. Follow that, so your pictures are the best possible. Balance - Each picture has its own balance and should be pleasing to look at. It can be formally balalnced or informally balanced, but the basic principles of design apply here too. Try not to make something look like it is falling off the page, etc. Fucking get some. Call me ignorant more, and get showed up more. You can't win an arguement with me, i suggest you give up.

Martin: to the guy below me ur retarded. Light is the complete oppisate of painting ya dumb fuck. Black is the abbsense of light and therefore color. think about it. you dont turn on the light switch to make it dark. you fill it with white light and COLOR. dumb ass. oh and i think she knows about photography dude me and her have only takin 2 years of classes studying the damn thing and she is on her 3rd. now go shove ur head in a hole and stfu

Josh: But the funny thing about light and dark, THEY ARENT COLORS. Dip shit, Can you go into a crayon box and find the colors "Light" and "Dark" No. Can you look at a rainbow and find see light and dark? No. And 2 years is NOTHING. Come back to me when you've been doinging it for 10-15 years. Then you can try and act like you know what you're talking about.

Me: Thank you Martin. Can't wait to see you tomorrow! Josh, just shut up. you're making yourself look like an idiot. There is no way you could have "been doinging it for 10-15 years." You were how old that long ago? You didn't even know anything past the basic color wheel. Yeah, I was probably a year or two younger at that time as well, but I've been studying the theories of Art and Photography for going on 5 years now. I can give you a list of emails of friends of mine who are professional photographers, as well as friends who have studied this longer than I have and they will tell you the same thing Martin just did. Face it. You're wrong. Get over it.


Now, I hate to bring this to everyone's attention because of how trivial an argument like this is. When someone puts down something I believe... ]]> *d3pr32210n http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/22747083/ http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/22747083/ Thu, 22 Jan 2009 20:36:31 PST Well Chase​ did a set calle​d Littl​e Reno and the set went live on Zivit​y.​ com a few days ago.

They have broke​n every​ recor​d with all the votes​ they got on the set.

It's free to sign up for a free month​ and you get free votes​ as well.​

So do me a HUGE favor​ and help these​ guys out.

If they keep getti​ng more votes​ Zivit​y will do a magaz​ine artic​le on them.​

PLEAS​E PLEAS​E PLEAS​E!​!​!​!​
ITS FREE!​1!​!​11!​!​1!​!​11!​!​1!​!​1!​!​!​!​!​

http:​/​/​www dot zivit​y dot com/​login​

]]> *d3pr32210n http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/22019373/ http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/22019373/ Tue, 16 Dec 2008 16:50:28 PST were discussing our Emetophobia (fear of vomit) when she came up with the idea for a deviant group for people with phobias to create art that stems from their personal phobias. Since we both grew up not knowing there were others with this fear, it is not hard to imagine others who feel alone as well. The group is basically for people who have a phobia or phobias to talk about it with others with the same phobia(s). Growing up it was hard for me because I thought no one knew what it was like and what I was going through. Now, I know that there are others out there who know how it feels.

No one is ever alone.
Even though it might feel like it.

If you have a phobia or know anyone who has, spread the word and add !

Our conversation started over this amazing photo:
[link]

]]> *d3pr32210n http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/21320582/ http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/21320582/ Tue, 04 Nov 2008 15:25:09 PST There was a part that a sophomore was having down the street from my house. We stopped by that and thse freshma bitches were trashed. We were there for all of 20 second before I was like "fuck this" and we left. I don't do parties like. My friends wanted to call te cops because of all the underage drinking. I can't handle the vomiting that hapens when people overdue the drinking. Emetaphbia is horrible. After that I went home. When I wen outside of a smoke before I crashed I could hear them screaming.

Elections. Wow. Hot topic. Not an hour ago my friends were in a heated argument about it. For me, it's like the better of two evils. Neither canidate would be the best option for the country at this current point in time. If I had to choose I'd go with McCain because I don't like Obama's socialist views on healthcare. And I don't want taxes to be raised for those who have the money and no taxes for those who don't. This country throws money around to eaily, to people who don't deserve it. And to countries that we are 'helping'. Why give money to others when there are eople starving in our own country. Not saying everyone that has money issues doesn't deserve help but a majority just don't want to get up off their asses to make something of themselves.

I'm just saying what I think; I don't want nasty comments. You are entitled to your opinion as I am mine.

]]> *d3pr32210n http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/20228937/ http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/20228937/ Sat, 30 Aug 2008 01:44:11 PDT
My friend is the Vocalist of Wings of the Fallen, we call him Satan.
The bassist is a sexy redhead tat we call Red.
The guitarist is a moster of a guy who we just call Clinton or Clinty. (same guy I went to Mayhem with)
No drummer as of now though.

I am doing everything from wardrobe to make-up, including lighting, set design, and all the other photography-ish thngs.

I got some work lights from home depot that I have been wanting to get for awhile an I made some awesomely ghetto reflectors out of cardboard and tinfoil. And I'm also using one of those reflective car sunshades. HAHA!!! The awesome ideas you get from reading in the DIY section of the boards on LithiumPicnic.com

I was disscussing the lighting wih my photography teacher a couple of days ago. She suggested I use the shoot as n opportunity to snap a roll for one of my assignments. Thank god I'm in advanced photo. I would have never gotten this opportunity last year.

So in the next coupleof days I will be processing the photos and posting them.

OH! And my birthday is next thursday. WOO!

]]> *d3pr32210n http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/19580083/ http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/19580083/ Thu, 24 Jul 2008 20:38:12 PDT
I went with my ex Lauren and Clinton. It was fucking AWESOME!!!!

We got there just as 36 Crazy Fists started playing on one of the small stages.

Since I live in Hell we were already sweating like pigs.

Then 36 were done and Jagerband started on the stage next to 'em. The guitarist had great stage preasence. He also had a braid on the top of his head pointing striaght up that bobbed every time he started head bangin.

Most everyone was standing around because it was like 115 degrees out. The mosh pit wasn't bad for either bands though.

After that we started heading back to the main stage to claim our spots. We had about 2 hours to kill before Mastodon even started.

I saw Cassie and Alichia at a distance but didn't go say hi because of the assholes they were with. Fuck betrayers.

Anyways Allan and Tyler saw us and hung out for awhile. I also saw my Terrorist, Ricky. He gave me a hug but Dez was a dick and just kept walking. I yelled at him later for it.

So Mastodon started playing and this group of fat mexicans just sat down right in front of us practically squeezing us out. One of them kept trying to hug up on me so I got Clinton in between me and him cuz Clinton is pretty big.

I saw Jessy too with his friend. Jessey was high as kite. First time too. HAHAHAHA!!!!!

We proceeded to smoke and enjoy Dragonforce.

There is always a couple of guys in my general area that always check me out. I wear jeans and a bikini top and I always feel fat so IDK why they would stare. (I know I'm all over the place. This is like a record for me too so I don't want to miss anything)

FINALLY Disturbed started setting up. Then the fires started. They always have to burn the plastic water jugs. The smell is horrble. And when you blow your nose after you shower that night the stuff that comes out if always black. (Ew.)

Disturbed was fucking awesome. For those of you who have heard Inside the Fire from the new album, he sounds WAY creepier when he laughs live.

So after Disturned we are waiting for Slipknot to set up and start. Then the firehoses start putting out all the fires. Too bad they didn't spray alot like last year at Family Values. We had a mudslide on the lawn.

The mosh pit was really big during Slipknot. and the light show was awesome. It might have been better than it was because I was high off my ass...

The fire hoses proceeded to spray the croud to keep the mosh pits under control.

Very last song the drum set lifted and went virtical so it was like we were looking over him. It didn't go out over the croud like it usually does which sucked. Then we find out Sid, at the very first show in 2 years, jumped out over the stage and broke both his feet so he was in a wheel chair. That shit was funny. Oh and their masks aren't all that different. The one thats the most changed is Clown's who has a gag ball for a nose.

It took us a good hour to get out of the parking lot.

I get home, take a shower. Almost ready for bed. (this is at 2 in the morning) I get a phone call from Satan. "Come outside" Me: "I've been out all day in the sun WTF!!!!"

So I go out and me Lennon Foster and Satan go out to Denny's. They proceed to break into random song and fuck with the waiters.

Went back to lennon's place and swam for a couple hours. Well, I went skinny dipping cuz yeah it's fun.

Get home at around 5 in the morning. WOOHOO!!!

What a day.

(Yes I know alot of spelling mistakes. I DONT GIVE A SHIT!!!!!)

]]> *d3pr32210n http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/18666850/ http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/18666850/ Wed, 04 Jun 2008 17:33:29 PDT
Not even that but telling this to your ex-girlfriend who is your best friend. And bitching at her for telling you.

Goddamnit. I'm sick of crying of these assholes. I want to rip thier balls out but I just can't get myself to hate them.

]]> *d3pr32210n http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/18499020/ http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/18499020/ Sun, 25 May 2008 17:57:59 PDT Well the season is being retarded...
110 degrees one day, then 2 days later a high of 58.

Finals suck.

Williams can kiss my white ass.

]]> *d3pr32210n http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/18125020/ http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/18125020/ Thu, 01 May 2008 21:29:52 PDT
Yet, instead of jumping on them you just want to collapse and cry because it hurts so much?

Yeah, that was my experience last weekend.
3 panic attacks in 2 days.

]]> *d3pr32210n http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/17722318/ http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/17722318/ Sun, 06 Apr 2008 20:11:03 PDT
I was hangin' out with him and some friends but the only frind I remember is Veronica. Even though I have never seen this chick before or don't know anyone named Veronica... Well, I could help but notice that everytime I'd look at him he would be looking at her. Then before I knew it he was all over her and I just got up and walked away and started crying. He comes up and asks what was wrong and I said "Three guesses. Can you please not do that in front of me." He said ok. But I couldn't get the picture out of my head. And everytime I looked at them they would be looking at each other.

I can't get that dream out of my head. I don't know how many times I've cried over it. I can't get him out of my head, and I have no chance. I don't even think he would give me a chance.

WHY CAN'T I GET HIM OUT OF MY HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He won't even talk to me.

Damnit. Now I got myself all worked up over him again.

"My hands are searching for you
My arms are outstretched towards you
I feel you on my fingertips
My tongue dances behind my lips for you

This fire rising through my being
Burning I'm not used to seeing you

I'm alive, I'm alive

I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I'm breathing
Holding on to what I'm feeling"
-All Around Me by Flyleaf

]]> *d3pr32210n http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/16711414/ http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/16711414/ Sun, 03 Feb 2008 17:23:44 PST

I also gauged my second holes to a 4g from a 6g. Can't wait to get my 4th holes done! I gots new gauges and nose rings too. And the new Gothic Beauty.

When I was looking through the magazine I saw two people I recognized.

I saw Jaws from My Parasites
And Natalie Addams (who was photographed my Michael Helms)
The friend I was with was like "How the fuck do you know all these people????"

Idk but I just do.



Ummm emotionally I've been unstable but I've been able to manage. One of my friends has been through some stuff to and I want to know what happened because I really want to get closer to him.

And I've been getting alot of emails on Myspace and Vampire Freaks from guys saying I'm cute/hot/beautiful (you get the idea) and it's starting to creep me out.

]]> *d3pr32210n http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/16173248/ http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/16173248/ Sun, 30 Dec 2007 20:55:33 PST Thats what I'm leaning towards. WANTING FEEDBACK! PLEASE!!!


The holidays suck.
Every year it just gets worse.

Sitting at home. All alone. With nothing to do but sleep.
I can't get out, can't get away. And when I can its always with the same people that just stress me out. Can't wait to get out of this shit hole. I'm depressed all the fucking time. I need a change. Someone maybe. Ah but what does it matter. All the ones I fancy are JUST FRIENDS. Yet the ones that like me are all virgins and weirdos. I feel like I'm not good enough for some people. Either that or I'm just ment to be a loner since all the ones my own age piss me off and seem.... whats the word.... immature. All my friends are older. I may be the youngest but I feel better with them then with anyone around me.

Ugh. I could write forever.

]]> *d3pr32210n http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/16045257/ http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/16045257/ Sat, 22 Dec 2007 14:22:21 PST
It's also the Winter Solstice which gives the most power to Nocturnal Witches (which I am) since its the one day of the year with the least daylight.

This year that power is super chargered because the full moon is really close.

So it's really effecting me and my friends.

Please don't say anything if you have nothing nice to say about what I believe about.

That includes trying to shove the whole God bullshit down my throat.
If you bleieve thats fine I just dont want to hear it and you don't have to read what I have to say.

]]> *d3pr32210n http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/15221381/ http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/15221381/ Thu, 25 Oct 2007 19:49:59 PDT
I'm hoping to shoot another set soon.

I'm working on a poem called Death Dealer so keep an eye out for that.

Right now I'm sufting through 4 CDs of Dope and labeling all of the songs and albums. Ugh Ive been working on it for the last 3 hours. Lost of new music on my hardrive.
Static-X
Mudvayn
Dope
Lamb of God
Godsmack
Canibal Corpse

woohoo!

Anyways updates on SG vs LP more girls are kicked off for working with Philip including Zoli who is being threatened with being archived on the site.

Best wishes to Apnea and Philip.
Apnea: [link]
LP: [link]

]]> *d3pr32210n http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/14760822/ http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/14760822/ Sun, 23 Sep 2007 16:06:20 PDT
I just made a voodoo doll complete with pins while watching Invader Zim. About 2 hours.

He looks like shit but I will love him forever!!!!

]]> *d3pr32210n http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/14431224/ http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/14431224/ Fri, 31 Aug 2007 19:38:58 PDT
I peirced my nose, and for some reason I can't look when they draw blood.

Family Values Tour was awesome. Slave to the Metal.

Sunburns and mud slides.

WOO!

]]> *d3pr32210n http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/13306980/ http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/13306980/ Mon, 11 Jun 2007 18:05:00 PDT
Team Forkicide!


Read more abou it in the journal.

Affiliates: 1

Team Members: 2

Date established: today.

]]> *d3pr32210n http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/13243289/ http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/13243289/ Wed, 06 Jun 2007 18:35:30 PDT She is my everything.
She is my world.
She means more to me than my own life.

She has my heart and always will.

I'm happy again.

]]> *d3pr32210n http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/13194556/ http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/13194556/ Sat, 02 Jun 2007 20:57:19 PDT
There won't be much nature photos anymore, more along the line of more... homo-sapien studies.

Im getting a promotion at my job! YAY!

P.S.
Sue-icide Girls vs Lithium Picnic

Phillip will rule all!

GO TEAM FORKICIDE!

]]> *d3pr32210n http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/13015589/ http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/13015589/ Sat, 19 May 2007 16:26:50 PDT I guess I'm doing pretty good.

I'm getting alot of positive feedback about my work lately and I really apresiate everything.

I'm thinking of making prints of my best work to start a protfolio so if anyone has any comments on which ones I sould have made please comment.

Ummm.
I really wanted to go to the tempest concert but I couldn't so I sold my ticket to one of my homies and heard it was killer.

FEAR THE SPORK!!!!
(it knows all)

]]> *d3pr32210n http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/12780732/ http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/12780732/ Sun, 29 Apr 2007 16:36:32 PDT WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME!?

what's wrong with you?

I'm sorry, but sometimes I think I'm not.

Life is no longer worth living.
I'm back to my old habits, and it feels good.

Get me high, get my drunk. I don't care just get me the fuck out.

I'm tired of feeling, I'm not worth any of it.

Just leave me.

]]> *d3pr32210n http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/12263453/ http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/12263453/ Tue, 20 Mar 2007 19:23:33 PDT
I went to Seattle for 3 days, ugh. It was fun but it rained too much.
And why should I complain when I live in a desert and hardly see a cloudy day?

Well I'm visiting my cousin on friday for a couple of days.

SARAH I HOPE YOU SEE THIS!!!!

]]> *d3pr32210n http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/11765192/ http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/11765192/ Sat, 10 Feb 2007 20:19:22 PST yaya.

I LOVE LAUREN!

]]> *d3pr32210n http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/11508684/ http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/11508684/ Sat, 20 Jan 2007 17:53:22 PST
Examples:
Athena
Banshee
Furie
Broxa
Isis
Bayne
Sabastian

Something! Anything! PLease HELP!!!!

Oh and If you want to know where IM going to model...
Gods Girls!

]]> *d3pr32210n http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/11464721/ http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/11464721/ Tue, 16 Jan 2007 19:06:47 PST
I love you baby girl, more than words can ever express. Nothing will ever keep me away from you, let it be my parents or whoever else. You make me feel wanted. loved, and you make me feel beautiful. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, even if you have some issues. I can't wait untill i can hold you in my arms again, wether it be tomorrow or next week. My life is nothing with out you. I will never leave you, i want to spend the rest of my life with you.

Im saying all this in case you didn't know.

I am your forever and for always

I miss you so much right now


]]> *d3pr32210n http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/11108594/ http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/11108594/ Tue, 19 Dec 2006 16:19:46 PST And i I am so ghetto that I just got my first PS2, first ever gaming platform EVER! except my computer.
Finals suck so much ass. But i got like 90's on all the ones I have taken so far and that would be 66.666% of my finals.
I LOVE RAVING TO PPL I DONT KNOW!

OMG! I have been a deviant for a year now!

]]> *d3pr32210n http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/10846144/ http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/10846144/ Sat, 25 Nov 2006 14:14:35 PST
Ok im going to anauto show tonight!!!

i put up the xmas tree!!

and yeah lots of new photos soon!!!

(FYI im grounded so it wont be for awile)

]]> *d3pr32210n http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/10704206/ http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/10704206/ Sun, 12 Nov 2006 17:57:41 PST
]]> *d3pr32210n http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/10469271/ http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/10469271/ Sat, 21 Oct 2006 19:44:11 PDT
(aka Lauren)

NOW!!!!

]]> *d3pr32210n http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/10407078/ http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/10407078/ Sun, 15 Oct 2006 22:58:35 PDT
I am at me cousin and her girlfriend's appt. I'm visiting for the night.

Well nothing else is up with me...

]]> *d3pr32210n http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/10115098/ http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/10115098/ Mon, 18 Sep 2006 18:27:16 PDT
Then I ask her about some other stuff and I find out she got high after she promised to ME she wouldn't. She swore. So that knocked me off my feet.

Then I don't know how this came to but she says that she would rather be with Cyndey cuz she makes her happy yada yada yada.

So of course after we get off the phone I start crying, I go into a break down and I cry so hard I throw up multiple times. This goes on till 3 this morning, then I pass out from coughing and not being able to bleathe.

Now after school Lauren calls me in tears.

It turns out I was right about everything. Cyndey had cheated on her with one of their friends and everyone lied to her, except me. She is cryoing so hard. Then I hear "Shit you stupid thing why wont you cut!" And i freak out and start balling.

So I go to my mom and I'm crying anf begging to have her drive me over there to be with Lauren. Of course I get the lecture that I shouldn't be involved with this. So I yell at her and all about deserting my lover/friend when they need me most just couse it involves self mutilation.

Then Lauren hangs up and I call my friend Shelina cuz Lauren's dad blocks everyone's numbers and Shelina has 3-way. That doesnt work so I explain whats going on to her.

Fuck this is hard.

I Finnaly got ahold of Lauren. She's still alive but I wont be ok till I get to hold her on wednesday, maybe if I'm lucky tomorrow.

Last night I was broken up with all the shit I learned about how she feels about another girl. Now that girl has screwed Lauren over like I knew would happen. I KNEW IT!! and I worned her but she didn't listen to me.

She better listen to me now.

EMOTIONAL OVER LOAD!!!

(no wonder Lauren named me Emotion....)

Sorry for all the misspellings. ]]> *d3pr32210n http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/10105899/ http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/10105899/ Sun, 17 Sep 2006 20:58:46 PDT
I died my hair today! BLACK! I look sooo hot!

AH! What else to say...

OH YEAH! Lauren is getting to get her ass yelled at from me next time I talk to her.

She needs to understand what she has, me. ]]> *d3pr32210n http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/9961164/ http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/9961164/ Mon, 04 Sep 2006 08:05:44 PDT *d3pr32210n http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/9910380/ http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/9910380/ Wed, 30 Aug 2006 16:56:35 PDT
DAA Registered Visitor Badge #72

AND Resident Mad Scientist

]]> *d3pr32210n http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/9785722/ http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/9785722/ Sat, 19 Aug 2006 19:03:49 PDT Ten Reassons Why I love her:
1)When ever I'm around her I forget all my problems, all the things that eat me away from the inside out.

2)She has taught me what it means to love someone so much it almost hurts.

3)She has proven to me she will always be there for me no matter what.

4)Everytime she breaks my heart she picks up the pieces and puts them back togather.

5)I still get butterflies right before I see her.

6)The way she holds me, the way she kisses me, the way she makes me feel like I'm the only one.

7)She brought out the real me the one that no has ever seen, yet still stuck around and loved me for what I really am.

8)She makes me feel like I matter, like I really mean alot to her.

9)For the things she does to cheer me up, the little things.

10)I'm just so in love with her...

I love her with all my heart, there is nothing I will not do to show her I'm worth it.



I love you baby, I want to make this work more than anything else. Please give me a chance...
]]> *d3pr32210n http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/9781832/ http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/9781832/ Sat, 19 Aug 2006 11:36:15 PDT
Yesterday I went to an pep rally for the froshes.
I got confetti EVERYWHERE!

There was sooo much confetti I filled up my hat and got all my friends in the face.

That was one of the funniest pep rallies I have ever been too.
They had this group called the backstage boys dance to backstreetboys and this mexican dace thing....

The flyers for the cheer squads weren't wearing any underwhere so we saw there ass cheeks!

Man what a joke that was... ]]> *d3pr32210n http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/9781801/ http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/9781801/ Sat, 19 Aug 2006 11:32:37 PDT *d3pr32210n http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/9609940/ http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/9609940/ Sat, 05 Aug 2006 17:09:21 PDT I'm used to the heat but that damn humidity is killer man!

Lost 3 hours

We went to Baltimore, Ma for 2 days:
-Aquarium
-Ferderal Hill (FIREFLIES!!)

Road a bullet train at 150 MPH to New York City for 4 days:
-Hotel was next door to Grand Central Station!
-My cousin was there too but with his friend and his family
-Bryant Park
-Central Park
-Statue of Liberty
-World Trade Center
-Brooklyn
-Macy's
-National History Museum
-Tavern on the Green (restraunt where they have a servant in the bathroom...)
-FUZZY PIPE CLEANER KITTYPILLER!
-Unitied Nations
-Grenitch Village (spelling error?)
-Little Italy
-Got hit on at Jr's in Grand Cenral Dinning Concourse
-Mental break down becasue I missed Lauren so much, parents were bitching at everything and TOO MANY PEOPLE!!!!

Train to Albany, NY. Drove to Lake George 3 days.
-Beach
-Gringos on a string!
-Pumpernickels
-Bumb around
-NO CELL SERVICE ANYWHERE!

Drove to Vermont for 2 days of wingin' it.
-Ben and Jerry's Factory
-Sheldon Farms
-Vermont Country Store
-Horrible drivers (almost ran us of the road twice in les that a minute, drive like old chinese ladies!)

1 night in Albany.

2 hour flight to Chicago
2 hour layaway
3 hour flight to Phoenix

Gain 3 hours

24 hours no sleep.....

HOME!!!!! ]]> *d3pr32210n http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/9387128/ http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/9387128/ Sat, 15 Jul 2006 16:52:21 PDT (900 dollars later!)

Now off to try it out!

-flies off into sunset- ]]> *d3pr32210n http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/9115428/ http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/9115428/ Mon, 19 Jun 2006 12:06:33 PDT
NEED A FITTING TITLE! PLEASE HELP ME!
(need a title for Chris and Alex's Story)

For thoes of you who would want to know whats going on in my life
(doubtfull anyone would want to know about me)
Im doing pretty good.
I have been helping Lauren with some crap that Shelby has been dealing out. Jariel finaly got the message that me and Lauren want nothing to do with him. He kept messaging her saying "maybe we should take a break as a couple and we can try again later"
This after what I said. I told him what we think of him that she doesnt like him she broke it off a hell of a long time ago. Yeah she told him off good.
Im proud of her.

Well I really didnt mean to go off rambling about my crap but if you read it thanks for reading about my screwed up life!

I feel conceaded now! ]]> *d3pr32210n http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/9057170/ http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/9057170/ Tue, 13 Jun 2006 13:15:33 PDT ]]> *d3pr32210n http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/8961327/ http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/8961327/ Sat, 03 Jun 2006 16:58:56 PDT
You don't feel anything at all, even though not 5 minutes earlier you were crying your eyes out or feeling some other emotion that was really intense.

Well I in one of thoes states.

I seem to have these alot.

I am an extreme example of bipolar.

]]> *d3pr32210n http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/8929522/ http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/8929522/ Wed, 31 May 2006 11:03:39 PDT

I am so happy! I get to see her today!

Things have changed for the best between us and I am so glad that she is in love with me!

STAY AWAY FROM HER! SHE'S MINE!

As you can tell I am in one of my more hyper moods, it feels strange because its been a long time since ive been this happy.

OK OK OK! I know im just going to say it once then I'll be good....

GO ME! FUCK YEAH!
]]> *d3pr32210n http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/8503856/ http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/8503856/ Mon, 17 Apr 2006 19:33:41 PDT *d3pr32210n http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/8494866/ http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/8494866/ Sun, 16 Apr 2006 23:33:49 PDT its a comic from JTHM

Who are the first & second person on your top 8?
Katy (my cousin) and Lauren ( hopefully one day my girl?)

What exactly are you wearing right now?
Southpark boxers and a black sports bra

What is your current problem?
age difference keeping my wishes from happening

What makes you most happy?
lauren

If you could go back in time, and change something, what would it be?
how old i am

Ever have a near death experience?
yes i have. i think more like 3.


What's the name of the song that you're listening To?
Who I Am by Jessica Andrews

Name someone with the same birthday as you?
Beyonce!


Do you have a crush on someone?
no, im in love with someone though.

Do they know that you like them?
yes.

Do you still watch kiddy movies or kiddie TV shows?
i dont watch TV that much anymore.

Are you comfortable with your height?
im fine. i dont really care

Have you ever ridden in a Hummer limo?
no. dont plan to either

Has anyone really close to you passed away?
fuck yes.

Do you ever watch MTV?
if im extremly bored or im just plain fucked up.

What's something that really annoys you?
my slef doubt

Chapter 1: You

Initials: ejk
Middle name: juliet
Nickname(s): em face, emmy, emotion
Current location: my room
Hair length: 2 1/2 in.
Eye color: brown/green

Chapter 2: The Background

Do you live with your parents: yes.
Do you get along with your parents: sometimes
Are your parents married/separated/divorced? married
Do you have any siblings?: none in this residence
What pets do you have?: two pussies

Chapter 3: Favorite

Ice cream flavor: mint chocolate
Season: i dont know
Color: black
Class: dont like school


Chapter 4: Do You..

Sing in the shower: yes
Write memos on your hand? all the time
Believe in love:not untill someone proved it to me.
Wear glasses or contacts?: nope


Chapter 5: Have You Ever..

Worn braces?:have them. gettin them off in a month yay
Broken a bone? yep
Had stitches?: no
Shoplifted?: yes
Taken painkillers?: fuck yes
Gone SCUBA diving?: no
Been stung by a jellyfish?: no
Been stung by a bee?: no
Slept with your contacts in overnight?: what contacts?
Thrown up in a restaurant?: EW EW EW EW! DONT TALK ABOUT PUKE INFRONT OF ME!
Been to overnight camp?: no
Been sent to the principal's office?: i practicly live there.


Chapter 6: Who/What was the last..


Person who called you: Lauren
Person you hugged?: Heather
Person you kissed?: Lauren
Person you tackled?: Rizzo
Thing you touched?: My eyes
Thing you ate?: chocolate covered strawberries
Thing you drank?: DR. Pepper
Thing you said?: mmmhmmm ]]> *d3pr32210n http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/8451137/ http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/8451137/ Wed, 12 Apr 2006 17:00:54 PDT
I GOT THE FIRST SEASON OF ESCAFLOWNE ON DVD! IT JUST CAME IN THE MAIL!

im soo happy.

Lauren gave me a nick name
Jariel is Hatred
Cindy is Sin
Ryan is Death
Lauren is Depression
and Im Emotion

Quite fitting when you consider how emo i am.

Yes happy ]]> *d3pr32210n http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/8430750/ http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/8430750/ Mon, 10 Apr 2006 18:03:40 PDT
I talked to lauren.

Turns out lauren sent Jariel over to see what was up with me.

I blow things out of porportion.

I guess I was too upset to notice she actualy did care. wow im oblivious.

Hope she's not too pissed at me.

She told me she has an open mind and that she would die for me so that means alot to me and I dont want to lose that between us wether we are a couple or not.

Yes happy ]]> *d3pr32210n http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/8402954/ http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/8402954/ Fri, 07 Apr 2006 22:17:59 PDT
I broke down again.

This time in front of everyone. I was alone but 50 feet away was everyone at Heathers truck. Jariel came over and was asking what was wrong for like even untill Heather came over and got it outta me.

I am crazy for Lauren, Im afraid she doesnt care about me like that, and I miss her.

When we left I stopped to wait for my dad and she didnt even pause to say bye, let alone look at me. That hurt like a mother fucker.

I feel so bad right now I swear im ready to comit suicide. No joke. (im too much of a pussy so dont worry about it i wont)

I wish I could tell her but evertime I do tears form and I stop because I dont want to look like a fuckin pussy.

You know what? I really dont care if I stay like this, as long as she's happy. If me being like this makes her happy, I will stay like this as long as I know her.

I love her, I need her, and I cant have her ]]> *d3pr32210n http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/8275143/ http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/8275143/ Sun, 26 Mar 2006 13:34:41 PST , we fell asleep and woke up again around 5:00 AM. We cuddled somemore and fell asleep till 10:30 AM when both our phones rang at the exact same time. We cuddled some more and then got up. She took a shower and dressed in front of me (not obviously flashing me but carefully dressing) Her mom dropped us off at DQ where my parents picked me up.

Im writeing this down here because I really don't want to forget anything.... ]]> *d3pr32210n http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/8076053/ http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/8076053/ Sun, 05 Mar 2006 16:01:02 PST [link] and I think its going quite well, oh and thanx for the help!

well i finally got in touch with my best friend that i havent talked to in forever and thats good.

I had so much fucking homework i swear I cant wait for summer. Then i can get a job or something.

I miss lauren, I cant talk to her cuz shes at Charlie's (her dad) and hes a basterd.

Listening to some metal and reading over some erotica to give me some idea of where to go from here. ]]> *d3pr32210n http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/8019710/ http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/8019710/ Mon, 27 Feb 2006 15:58:39 PST Thanx for listenong to my sitchuation, any advise would be much appresiated?
I CANT SPELL! ]]> *d3pr32210n http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/7976195/ http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/7976195/ Wed, 22 Feb 2006 21:57:28 PST *d3pr32210n http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/7972913/ http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/7972913/ Wed, 22 Feb 2006 15:27:44 PST
Nothing too much is going on in my life. The only significant thing that is changing is my relationship with Lauren. So far its been good. Things are looking better for me and I have hope that one day (hopefuly sooner rather than later) we will be more than friends... evern though we are more than friends now.

Well you know what to do with my Deviations... COMMENT! ]]> *d3pr32210n http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/7897646/ http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/7897646/ Tue, 14 Feb 2006 16:06:53 PST *d3pr32210n http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/7732453/ http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/7732453/ Sat, 28 Jan 2006 13:55:37 PST *d3pr32210n http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/7670718/ http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/7670718/ Sat, 21 Jan 2006 20:52:42 PST *d3pr32210n http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/7642540/ http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/7642540/ Wed, 18 Jan 2006 18:51:09 PST my kinda gf came to my school and i skipped my last period thanx to my really cool teachers that let me! the i went over to her house and we cuddled for a long time man im so happy! she makes me feel really good.. and shes the only one that can!
ok imma just gonna say it.....
I LOVE HER! WEEEEEEEEEEE!

anyways... well yeah.. thats all thats new over here...

(>^_^)>Emily Juliet<(^_^< ]]> *d3pr32210n http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/7622153/ http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/7622153/ Mon, 16 Jan 2006 15:54:09 PST

ANYWAYS! on a brighter note i got back froma suposed 'road trip' and i saw my cuz for the first time in forever OH! by the way.. i remembered that i never said sorry for being a bitch when my cuz and her gf got togather a couple years ago.. so sarah (or sara?) im srry for being a bitch! tell katy too me srry ]]> *d3pr32210n http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/7556393/ http://d3pr32210n.deviantart.com/journal/7556393/ Mon, 09 Jan 2006 16:45:37 PST ]]> *d3pr32210n