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]]> ~damiandevonshire http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/7724122/ http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/7724122/ Fri, 27 Jan 2006 14:57:35 PST ~damiandevonshire http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/4824969/ http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/4824969/ Wed, 16 Mar 2005 00:11:23 PST ~damiandevonshire http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/4457476/ http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/4457476/ Sun, 30 Jan 2005 21:13:01 PST
P.S to those that walk away from me on this have a nice life and may the god’s bless thy with a life if wonders. ]]> ~damiandevonshire http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/4382507/ http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/4382507/ Sat, 22 Jan 2005 04:06:36 PST

nwe poetry coming soon.... ]]> ~damiandevonshire http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/4124757/ http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/4124757/ Wed, 22 Dec 2004 04:07:47 PST ~damiandevonshire http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/3889506/ http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/3889506/ Sun, 21 Nov 2004 23:42:30 PST ~damiandevonshire http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/3851616/ http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/3851616/ Tue, 16 Nov 2004 17:16:17 PST gripping this rope,
Splitting thoughts upon the chairs dismal.
Swearing upon the night of how I loved that dove,
refusing to accept she threw it all away.
Hearing the dial tone of life hanging up on me,
I see no saving grace,
Lining the thoughts that paced my mind,
Looking to the son of the glorified father for salvation,
A calling card of what he forgotten,
Forsaken his sickened son.
Fastening the noose of heaven’s corrupted glory,
wondering if she loved at all,
Mimicking the words she stained in vane.
Writing that message upon the wall,
Finding a moments peace within the black light’s fluorescent touch of solitude,
Speaking to the wind a final message,
Turning the radio on, hearing Iris play that song she sang.


Opening the door to that place of shame
like the door to a nameless memory,
imagining thoughts lining the walls
in an image of hate, or of desperation.
Was there no salvation? Was there no chance
for glorious survival, even with a little help?
Feeling the essence of life breathing through
the sickening gloom, tasting death in all his sweetest
remembrance, and hating him, and hating you
for allowing him to come into this room.
You had no right to leave without telling me.
But you knew I would have convinced you to stay.
The light flickers giving loneliness a voice,
telling me there is no happiness in giving.
I hope the end was quick, and its satisfaction felt.


Satisfaction of isolation, my comfort zone of damnation,
Denying all that I had, wondering if she cared, walking within this place,
Drenched in familiar faces-alone at last. Delving deeper in madness,
Asking for that hand no one lent. Hearing a mother’s tears.
Another day of burden, working to hard for the god’s to care.
Dreaming of sunny grooves, gazing at that pipe.
So solid, friendship unmade, solicitation of values smiling inside.
Tightening the mask wore, protection of sorts, keeping all away,
Locking skeletons in closets unmarked. Sheltered beneath this picture,
Fading but true, a picture of me and you, times much happier, talking much easier. Now I lay here taking each cut, deeper then the last, thinking of those days, staining this photo singing along with cold about how we bleed through rhymes,


And the clock chimes, another hour gone,
spent here in the same solitude that you must have felt;
seems like a second, or an eternity, not sure which.
You spoke of madness in those days before you departed,
madness and being alone, you were never alone.
Tears we cried over losses and the days that passed were
but a season of cold in an otherwise happy place.
A heart’s tyrant ripped your mind away from me,
making you deny the helping I had offered, as if it were never there.
And all the days she was with you, I waited for you to leave her,
Or hoped that she would be all she promised to be.
Never even a note, never even a goodbye.
I felt you leave, you didn’t need to tell me,
I rushed to the phone, as dead as you, and then to the room,
I found your old shell, lifeless and doomed.
I didn’t cry, just waited for your eyes to open. They didn't open.

Time, my dimension of damnation,

Witnessing physiological hallucinations.

Playing god within my life-death’s overcoming pull.

Bleeding upon that receiver wishing I could talk,

Silently screaming I love you. Confusing apathy with empathy,

This verecund emotion, isolating me within a time capsule of denial,

Swallowing pride just to take the ride, hearing that bird’s song of hour’s passed. Listening to the wind’s whisper, remembering that song you sang.

Speaking the quote of love’s unforgiving suicide. So slow and tedious,

Complicating friendship’s bond-separating eyes.

Glances of anguish from inside,

Tying the knot, buried alive within.

This pipe equals my fate, dangling six feet high,

Leaving bloodied handprints upon the wall, a reminder of what happened here, dating the poem for a year from today. Wondering how I’ll be thought of, leaving that song playing. Knowing that you’d want me to hold on.

Reaching the end, my breaking point, releasing the knife, puddles of insanity, crimson tears blackened fears pushing me off my cliff, laying here one final time. ]]> ~damiandevonshire http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/3846258/ http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/3846258/ Tue, 16 Nov 2004 00:55:36 PST ~damiandevonshire http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/3837818/ http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/3837818/ Mon, 15 Nov 2004 00:05:06 PST ~damiandevonshire http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/3811879/ http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/3811879/ Thu, 11 Nov 2004 17:16:59 PST ~damiandevonshire http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/3733864/ http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/3733864/ Tue, 02 Nov 2004 13:07:45 PST ~damiandevonshire http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/3667375/ http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/3667375/ Sun, 24 Oct 2004 23:16:35 PDT ~damiandevonshire http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/3358395/ http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/3358395/ Mon, 13 Sep 2004 20:53:05 PDT ~damiandevonshire http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/3231225/ http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/3231225/ Sat, 28 Aug 2004 11:03:26 PDT
mine are
1.Queen=the prophet song
2.Black Sabbath=iron man
3.Pink Floyd= another brick in the wall
4.Coal chamber= dark days
5.Pantara= cemetery gates
6.Cold= bleed
7.Bleeding Through=on wings of lead
8. Rem= losing my religion
9.Throwdown=you can’t kill integrity
10.Eighteen Visions=waiting for the heavens
11. Avenged Sevonfold=wont see you tonight part 1
12.Avenged Sevenfold=wont see you tonight part 2
13.Slipknot=wait and bleed
14Shnauzer=you’re a bitch
15.(216)=not as much(use to be)
16. Mushroomhead=mommy
17.Mushroomhead= Xeroxed
18. NiN=closer
19.Alice cooper= you can go to hell
20.Dope= I am.
21.Orgy=stitches
22.Powerman 5000=when worlds collide
23. Corporate avenger=the bible is bullshit
24.Corporate avenger=Christians murdered Indians
25.Corporate avenger=Jesus Christ homosexual
26.Pantara=this love
27.Prodigy=slap your bitch
28.Static x=cold
29.Static x=so
30.Garth Brooks=the thunder rolls
31.Kiss=god made rock and roll
32.Shinedown=.45
33.Killswitch Engage=living or just breathing
34.Kittie=brackish
35.Posion= every rose has it thorns
38.Mindless Self Indulgence=bring the pain
39.Bleeding Through= what I bleed without you
40.Hatebreed=now is the time
41.Otep=house of shattered secrets
42.Metallica=unforgiven
43.Metallica=unforgiven 2
44.Mudvayne=world so cold
45.Seether=gasoline
46.Lacuna coil= angel’s punishment
47.Lacuna coil=in a reverie
48.kottenmouth kingseace not greed
49.acid bath=scream of the butterfly
50.atreyu=shot in the heart(remake)
51. Evanesance=going under
52.Soil=halo
53.Auf de maur=real a lie
54.DamagePlan=explode
55.Ill nino=loco
56.Flaw=best that I am.
57.Cold=send the clowns
58.Staind=epithany
59.Planetkillswitch=joyful sound
60.Papa Roach=black clouds. ]]> ~damiandevonshire http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/3225328/ http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/3225328/ Fri, 27 Aug 2004 14:56:22 PDT
Friday, I worked my ass off. Plus I found out that I would be able to go to yellie’s party the next day. Though I still had nothing to do and then Jen came through and invited me to the movies. Well talk about a weird time. She was the one girl from my past that said fuck it I want to get to know the new you. For we went out this summer and broke up because she still saw the old Tim, but hell talk about a hot date, she was gorgeous that night. The movie was the shit, I’ve told enough of you what I saw. Then I waited for her to leave and I walked home. It was the first time in a long time I got all “gothic” and man it was the same way as I remembered it. Walking among the night on cloud nine, feeling the freedom that I haven’t in a long time. For as I walked I seen the insight that I was missing a little stop over looking Brook side in the dark can do that for a person, center them in a way that talking and writing cannot. Then I got home and went to bed for I had work. Saturday I went to yellie’s party, damn my sister for doing a shitty job on my makeup. But I went and I had a fucking awesome time. The people there were all friends and I knew most of them, and the ones I didn’t were fucking great and cool to talk to. The whole vibe was to have fun and I’ll be damned if we didn’t. Then Tab showed with her new guy, I swear I thought it was my little buddy spud, but hell we didn’t talk to avoid ruining the other’s time I guess. But who know? I sure as hell don’t. I got a ride home from Tara’s aunt. Speaking of Tara, I had a great thought over looking the valley Friday night; I mean the epiphany I had was a miracle in disguise. I saw every thing that had happened to me, for I had some time to think about losing some one that was very dear and close to my heart. And as if she was standing next to me, for I don’t care if you don’t believe in the spirits that walk with us, but I can tell you she was their next to me talking and coaching me like no other can. The advice was the same thing she told me time and time again with a new twist. For those that are dearest to our hearts we love no matter what and will stand with till the bitter end. This is Tara to me, but after Friday I knew and know what I am going to do, for me and Jen are seeing another movie, just as soon as schedules allow it. Sunday was a recap day, and that night I went out, Lol… I went out all right. (Moves on, for no details are needed :-P) but for some odd reason Sunday night and Monday night I was really mourning my grandfather and thinking of him, when bless Tara’s golden heart she lost some one dear to her. I did every thing I knew to comfort her, just hope I did.. :sighs: then fucking Tuesday hit, the 2 year ann of my grandfather’s death and the 10 year ann of my grandmothers. Talk about a fucked up day, the whole thing just was so damn depressing as all I could do every time I close my eyes was see the last few days of being around my grandfather and then I felt like shit for my grandmothers was so long ago I can barely remember things about her. :sighs: well then wensday came and I got paid, got a very good movie Donny Darko, a leather whip for my brother, and yes I am a better handler of that…lol.. great thing to brag about. And today I chilled with axe and Anthony, fun day in all.. well I am out, maybe I’ll write some deeper shit later. ]]> ~damiandevonshire http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/3130335/ http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/3130335/ Sun, 15 Aug 2004 08:46:35 PDT
Though the good things that I have to see In my future are Ozzfest Thursday and the party that ,me and my father are throwing at the end of the month.. good times.

I’ll update more later. ]]> ~damiandevonshire http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/3070840/ http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/3070840/ Sun, 08 Aug 2004 00:43:07 PDT
that and i am really wondering whats goin to happen tomorrow, for its been two weeks since tara left and she said thats how long she'll be gone. so i am pondering if i should call her tomorrow or monday. for alot of shit has happened since she left and i would like the chance to talk to her about it and see if we can clear some of the air between us. for she is one of my best friends. though this feels odd, just thinking of what i want to say to her and what needs to be said.though this time i am not pussing out and writing it in this thing like i have so many others.its just that, i dunno to her her voice and to see her would be nice..who knows any more, for as i come out of the cocoon i am in i shall see who has thier blades ready to cut my back. for as its been seen its already begun with some who is next i know not. by as a old friend told me live day to day no better no worse.

good news is i got some info on the collage that i want to go and that my ged will be in my hands by either november or dec.. and friday night thanks to j-dawg i was able to see (216) which in its own right was kewl as fucking hell the pit crazy as hell and i met and chiller with jeff hatrix(jeffery nothing singer in mushroomhead) and met some other members of the band. so now i sit with one hell of a headache and sore body parts...contemplating sleep.. ]]> ~damiandevonshire http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/2972340/ http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/2972340/ Mon, 26 Jul 2004 12:15:18 PDT ~damiandevonshire http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/2967534/ http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/2967534/ Sun, 25 Jul 2004 20:57:16 PDT ~damiandevonshire http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/2953294/ http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/2953294/ Fri, 23 Jul 2004 21:47:13 PDT i hate: the emotions that constentky speak my name
i hope:i can make every thing right and move on
i hear:music
i crave:shit i cannot have
i cry:no more for i have no tears left
i care:more then i should
i always: forget myself and help every one else before myself
i long to: die
i feel alone:constently
i listen:to music to kill the pain
i avoidoeple
i drive:a bike
i sing: with my band
i dance:does hardcored dancing count, then all the time
i writeoetry, lyrics,journals
i breathe:am i alive or just breathing?
i play: with my band to expose my pain
i miss:my old self and the voices that were in my head
i learn: that shit just dont go the way i think it should
i feel:isolated within from myself
i know:nothing
i say:not enough
i succeed:at nothing
i fail:all the time
i dream: when i write and sing
i wonder:what the hell is the purpose of my life
i want:something that the fates see it fit for me not to have at the moment
i have: somthing
i give:to much
i fight:with the world
i wait: for everything
i need:to run away
i am:dead and poeple just havent figured it out yet
i think:i killed my heart
i can't help:but find happiness in my depression
i stay:because i cannot leave yet
i want to be:gone

0. What is the ring tone on your phone? A loud one
1. What time do you get up? 9:30
2. If you could eat lunch with one person, who would
it be? Hmm, tara or yellie
3. Gold or silver? Silver
4. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Secret window
5. What is/are your favourite TV show(s) simpsons and that 70’s show
6. What do you usually have for breakfast? Rice crisp and toast
7. Who would you hate to be stuck in a room with? carpenter
8. What is your middle name? William
9. Beach, City or Country? country
10. Favourite ice cream? Cookies and cream
11. Butter, plain or salted popcorn? I am not fond of popcorn, but butter when I eat it
12. Which would you prefer to buy: shoes or purse? boots
13. Price not considered, what kind of car would you
drive? Old school casket car
14. Favourite sandwich? American sub
15. What characteristic in people do you despise? Ignorance, and fakeness
16. Favourite flower? Black rose
17. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Tazmania
18. Favourite brand of clothing? tripp
20. Where would you retire to? Virgin inlands
21. Favourite day of the week? monday
22. What did you do for your last birthday? A sword from my family
23. Where were you born? cleveland
24. What's your Favourite sport to watch? American football
25. Who do you least expect to send this back to you? Hell no
26. Person you expect to send it back first? Umm no one
27. What fabric detergent do you use? What the fuck are u talking about
28. Coke or Pepsi? Coke
29. Are you a morning person or a night owl? a night owl of course
30. What is your shoe size? 14 1/2
31. Do you have any pets? Dog and 2 cats
32. When is your Birthday? July 3
33. E-mail or card in mail? Hmmm…either will do, though I didn’t get any
34. Who do you look up to? People and my bro and sis, plus a lot of poets I know
37. What would your friends say is your best quality? personality
38. If you were to take inventory of your characteristics which ones would you throw in the trash and which would you keep? I would toss my looks, aint like I got any, and keep my personality
**physical traits**
1. How tall are you? about 6'4".
2. What colour are your eyes? blue
3.What colour is your hair? Dirty blonde
4. Do you wear makeup? When goin to a club and dressing like I want to yes, im a goth..
5. What are you wearing right now? Tshirt and shorts
6. Do you get your nails done? I paint them balck
8. What size shoe? 141/2
9. what is your bust size? Umm ima fat guy
10. Big hips or small? Refer to the last question
11. What is a word to describe your body? monster
12. Who is going to fill out this survey next? Hell if I know ]]> ~damiandevonshire http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/2945666/ http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/2945666/ Thu, 22 Jul 2004 22:23:22 PDT
"Love And War"

Promise that you always will
Keep candles lit on the windowsill
You know I'll be comin' home

You know I never wanted to go away
But what am I supposed to say
When I hear the sounds of the trumpet call
Who says

All is fair in love and war

Your pictures kept close to my heart
Letters all but fall apart
Each night I read them over again

You know I never wanted to go away
But what am I supposed to say
When I hear the sounds of the trumpet call
Who says

You know I never wanted to go away
I swear
Its war


People have been asking me to up date this. Well I really have nothing to say for I have been kicking my own ass for the last week. To many thoughts and emotions to explain and the feeling of isolation is killing me. I am fighting this with all that I am and I think I am losing anyway. Though what do I have to gain from winning hurting more people then I can help? For how many have I hurt by speaking out? How many times have I gone silent and watched things stay well. Hmm, more then I can count. So why the hell do I try? Found my self-talking to an exgirlfriend tonight, really don’t know why I don’t go back to her, though maybe because of what she did. Aye, that’s it..
same old shit, just a different day...great fucking story of life i have huh.. ]]> ~damiandevonshire http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/2881521/ http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/2881521/ Wed, 14 Jul 2004 15:04:33 PDT [link]

[link]

[link]

[link]

[link]

[link]

[link] ]]> ~damiandevonshire http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/2867926/ http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/2867926/ Mon, 12 Jul 2004 21:50:14 PDT I have watched you fall,
Calling his name.
As the tears come,
Falling like blood off your wrist..

(devonshire)
Tell me why?
Why this night I cannot die?
What fucking right do I have not to lie,
Witness my slip into madness.

(both scream)
This is it,
This is the end
Fuck it all,
Fuck me
Fuck u,

(axe) (devonshire)
I see the way the game has been played / I guess I lose in the end
So as the night become day drop your final rose/wilted emotions
Cry a tear standing in his arms/a reflection of you
Apathy is my key walking away/it okay


(devonshire)
I’ll love you forever


(both scream)
2x’sThis is it,
This is the end
Fuck it all,
Fuck me
Fuck u,
I loved,
And now I lose

(Axe sings and devonshire screams)
walking was all fine till the time you call my name ]]> ~damiandevonshire http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/2835108/ http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/2835108/ Thu, 08 Jul 2004 16:39:01 PDT
You Give Love A Bad Name

[BON JOVI cover]

[limited edition bonus track]

Shot through the heart and you're to blame
Darlin' you give love, a bad name

Fuck you

An angel's smile is what you sell
you promise me heaven, then put me through hell
Chains of love, got a hold on me
when passion's a prison, you can't break free

Whoa!
You're a loaded gun
yeah, whoa...
There's nowhere to run
No one can save me
The damage is done

Shot through the heart
and you're to blame
You give love a bad name
I play my part and you play your game
You give love a bad name
You give love a bad name

You paint that smile on your lips
blood red nails on your fingertips
A school boy's dream, you act so shy
Your very first kiss was your first kiss goodbye

Whoa!
You're a loaded gun
whoa...
There's nowhere to run
No one can save me
The damage is done

Shot through the heart
and you're to blame
You give love a bad name
I play my part and you play your game
You give love a bad name
You give love...

Shot through the heart
and you're to blame
You give love a bad name
I play my part and you play your game
You give love a bad name

Shot through the heart
and you're to blame
You give love a bad name
I play my part and you play your game
You give love a bad name
You give love a bad name ]]> ~damiandevonshire http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/2832925/ http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/2832925/ Thu, 08 Jul 2004 12:44:19 PDT
I am a shadow that lurks in the heavens, for feeling is left me mummified in myself. Picking up the pieces as they fall, I begin to understand my place, for this race I cannot win no matter the price I cannot pay to see the end. Maybe some day soon upon a stage they will understand the shit I spoke, the feelings I had then bled me dry upon a midnight weary contemplating my next move. Since the barrel is cocked and ready, pulling the trigger my only cowardly act. Untying my sanity’s reason of doubt. I spoke out of line, when I should of moved aside. Now the punishment of a my own ignorance I pay, playing poker with the reaper. Wondering and waiting the cover of this novel of hell.As though I could tell such a out comes pain.

to be continued..............

how well do u know me???
Take my Quiz on QuizYourFriends.com! ]]> ~damiandevonshire http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/2820669/ http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/2820669/ Tue, 06 Jul 2004 20:47:57 PDT
WHAT THE FUCK ARE THE FATES TRYING TO PROVE BY MAKING ME SUFFER? DO TEHY WANT ME DEAD?? WHY TEASE ME WITH THIS AND THEN HAVE MAKE ME WATCH IT LEAVE??

i am sick of this, for the blood that has been shed is not enough to equal all that i am thinking as the night rolls on, i'll just harpor this within as i usually do. till the day when i feed this demon that lies within to much and he strikes me back for all that i fed him. ]]> ~damiandevonshire http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/2805893/ http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/2805893/ Sun, 04 Jul 2004 23:25:23 PDT ~damiandevonshire http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/2789082/ http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/2789082/ Fri, 02 Jul 2004 16:04:57 PDT
Speaking of collaborations I think that I am one of the luckiest people on this site, for I have worked with some of the best writers that are here. Each taught me something that pushed me. For my first was never posted. Lol, silent one, and me man that came out bad. But that only drove me to improve and man did I, for I have worked with urban alien, howthisgodkilled999, highpreistess, ashescreams, crzyanml6666, imadork, deviljnn, dyingstrippedangel, misskittydevil, blaise, axe murder, purplewitch, sepiroth, angel of decay, hermoine granger, mollykillz, wonderland23, deadrose7, savant, krzyyellie04. For If I forgot one that I did with some one please tell me so I can add it. Since without these I cannot be the writer I am today, for they are how I have grown, testing myself with the best of the best. Either that or I am just trying to make myself some thing that I am not a real poet.

Damn to see some of the shit that I have worked on makes me wonder who I really know, for I see some of those people as some really good friends, for me and anml, are like brothers and axe is my gothic blood brother. Then there is molly who I see as a kindred soul searching for some thing in life that she deserves, blaise who just needs to know has her back when the chips are down, hermione granger who is a very beautiful person on the inside and outside. For each person has affected my life, now I am becoming a friend with alien my mentor. She is a person of knowledge helping me out in this journey. God, so many thoughts that I want to put down here. So many things that are unsaid and shit that many cannot ever to see, like the shit that krzyyellie has helped me see.

This is to sillygoth, thanks for helping me become a writer. And to the times that I will share with those on the site. For when tomorrow comes I need not make a wish for I have what I always wanted a place that I am expected for who I am, where people are there to help and be themselves.

p.s
coming soon i will have one about deviantart ]]> ~damiandevonshire http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/2737493/ http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/2737493/ Fri, 25 Jun 2004 22:29:09 PDT
dammit i need to join some clubs on this site ]]> ~damiandevonshire http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/2700814/ http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/2700814/ Sat, 19 Jun 2004 23:10:24 PDT ~damiandevonshire http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/2629875/ http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/2629875/ Thu, 10 Jun 2004 14:51:32 PDT
"Loser"

Breathe in right away,
Nothing seems to fill this place
I need this every time,
Take your lies get off my case
Someday I will find a love
That flows through me like this
This will fall away,
this will fall away
You’re getting closer to pushing me
Off of life’s little edge
Cause I’m a loser
And sooner or later
You know I’ll be dead
You’re getting closer,
You’re holding the rope,
I'm taking the fall
Cause I’m a loser, I’m a loser, yeah
This is getting old,
I can’t break these chains that I hold
My body’s growing cold,
There’s nothing left of this mind
Or my soul
Addiction needs a pacifier,
The buzz of this poison is taking me higher
This will fall away,
This will fall away
You’re getting closer, to pushing me
Off of life’s little edge
Cause I’m a loser and sooner or later
You know I’ll be dead
You’re getting closer,
You’re holding the rope and
I’m taking the fall
Cause I’m a loser
You’re getting closer, to pushing me
Off of life’s little edge
Cause I’m a loser and sooner or later
You know I’ll be dead
You’re getting closer,
You’re holding the rope
And I’m taking the fall
Cause I’m a loser


People come and go, its known as human nature. To find and then befriend them, then leave. Yet however, when pure feelings come into play we run, hide beneath a guise of distance and low time to use to be with that person. Of you can run and walk, though it seems simple its not. For this is what I have been doing form the world. I have discarded my self from those that I care for, certain friends. Yet I see that certain ones fighting to stay in touch and refusing this, trying to open my up this shell of apathy that I wear. Example the friend I was trying to reveal my feelings to. I have begun to distance myself from, for the mere fact that I will not be let down so instead forgotten, yet she is this slap of reality saying no and not letting me be the coward that I want to be. Though I finally gave her the letter that I wrote. I had many about three attempts to give it to her and finally had another friend do it, a coward yes. Though I told her that she was to call me I doubt she will so I will continue to take the steps moving beyond this losing what little sanity I have left. But hey that life, though I would of liked to at least hear a no, or those famous lines that chicks love to use, you know the ones like your to good of a friend or your like a brother. Though I am angered for that letter and the poems was to have a set of cds with it and I was unable to have those made till Saturday, then I have to get those to her. All this work, but hell this is how the cds are stacked giving me some feed back on this.

Disc 1
1.slipknot prelude 3.0
2. Static x so
3. Drowning pool love and war
4.mushroomhead inevitable
5. Papa roach black clouds
6 union underground bitter
7 m.s.i bed of roses
8 shinedown lost in the crowd
9 slubox October bride
10 mushroomhead another day to regret
11 13 faces some things wrong
12 n.i.n hurt

Disc 2
1 slipknot vermilion
2.arch enemy end of the line
3 lacuna coil 1:19
4 flaw my letter
5 filter take my picture
6 ill Nino how can I live
7 opeth black rose immortal
8 new found glory all down hill
9 bleeding through wings of lead
10 cold whatever you become
11 seether fine again
12 killswitch engage wasted sacrifice
13 slipknot vermilion pt 2


D12 LYRICS

"How Come"

[Eminem:] So I changed huh? You got a phone, pick it up, call me

[Chorus: Eminem]
How come we dont even talk no more
And you dont even call no more
We dont barely keep in touch at all
And I dont even feel the same love when we hug no more
And I heard it through the grape vine we even beefin now
After all the years we been down
Aint no way no how, this bullshit can be true
We family and aint a damn thing changed, unless it's you

[Verse 1: Eminem]
So young, so full of life in vibrant side by side wherever you weres ridin i went
So close, almost on some bonnie and clyde shit
When ronnie died you weres right by my side with a sholder to cry on
Tissue to wipe my eyes, and a bucket to catch every tear i cried inside it
You even had the same type of childhood i did
Sometimes i just want to know why is it that you surcame to yours
And mine i survived it, you ran the streets, i 9 to 5'd it
We grew up, grew apart, as time went by... ]]> ~damiandevonshire http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/2605756/ http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/2605756/ Mon, 07 Jun 2004 15:12:39 PDT
"Friend?"

Living a lie, let's not pretend
That you like me or we are friends
We can call it for the few
That are listening tonight
We'll divide the dream cut the loss
Feel no pain, you can fuck the fame
You can fuck the fame
For the ones that are listening

All this time that I called you friend
I won't be there for you again
All this time that I called you friend
I won't be there for you again

Your future's bleak, you better save your skin
It's that flesh you smell, it's that skin you're in
Your soul is rotting as well as your inners
Your mind and teeth they're getting thinner
Selfish, self-sustaining
Regrets, unmistaking
Fuck the fame, you can fuck the fame
For the ones that are listening

All this time that I called you friend
I won't be there for you again
All this time that I called you friend
I won't be there for you again

Sleep well, sleep tight
You know this song is about you don't you?

All this time that I called you friend
I won't be there for you again
All this time that I called you friend
I won't be there for you again


as time goes on we see that the only thing we know is that we know nothing at all. though some will look to the light and walk within it, only to cast a shadow to immerse them selves in when they fall.


COAL CHAMBER LYRICS

"Dark Days"

It feels like abuse
So subtle the noose
So subtle the noose

There is no light
That's what they say
I'm checking out
Not checking in
Drawing lines
Growing out of favor
Out of favor

If it's meant to be
Then set it free
If it's meant to be
It'll come back you see

Watch what you say
And what I don't
Heard what you've asked
And no I won't
Drawing lines
Growing out of favor
Out of favor

If it's meant to be
Then set it free
If it's meant to be
It'll come back you see

Dark days, dark days, dark days
Dark days, dark days, dark days

Oh no! I feel it!
Oh no! I feel it!

Dark days, dark days, dark days
Dark days, dark days, dark days

If it's meant to be
Then set it free
If it's meant to be
It'll come back you see ]]> ~damiandevonshire http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/2593530/ http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/2593530/ Sun, 06 Jun 2004 00:08:24 PDT
"Vermillion"

She seems dressed in all the rings
Of past fatalaties
So fradgile yet so devious
She continues to see it
Climatic hands that press
Her temples in my chest
Enter the night that she came home
Forever

Oh (She's the only one that makes me soar)

She is everytihng and more
The solemn hypnotic
My doll you're bathed in posession
She is home to me

I get neverous, perversed when I see her to worse
But the stress is astounding
It's now or never she's coming home
Forever

Oh (She's the only one that makes me soar)

Hard to say waht caught my attention
Vixen crazy, Athen Attraction
Call my name in my face, to recognize
Such a fair amount called, to terrorize

I won't let this build up inside of me
I won't let this build up inside of me
I won't let this build up inside of me
I won't let this build up inside of me

(Yeah!)

I'm a slave, and I am a master
No restraints and, unchecked collectors
I exist throught my name, to self ablige
There is something in me, the darkness finds

I won't let this build up inside of me
I won't let this build up inside of me
I won't let this build up inside of me
I won't let this build up inside of me

I won't let this build up inside of me
I won't let this build up inside of me
I won't let this build up inside of me
I won't let this build up inside of me

SHE ISN'T REAL!
I CAN'T MAKE HER REAL!
SHE ISN'T REAL!
I CAN'T MAKE HER REAL!

(She isn't real, I can't make her real)
(She isn't real, I can't make her real)



SLIPKNOT LYRICS

"Vermillion, Pt. 2"

She seemed dressed in all of me, stretched across my shame.
All the torment and the pain
Leaked through the cover in me
Id do anything to have her to myself
Just to have her for myself
Now I dont know what to do, I dont know what to do when she makes me sad.

She is everything to me
The unrequited dream
A song that no one sings
The unattainable, Shes a myth that I have to believe in
All I need to make it real is one more reason
I dont know what to do, I dont know what to do when she makes me sad.

But I wont let this build up inside of me
I wont let this build up inside of me
I wont let this build up inside of me
I wont let this build up inside of me

A catch in my throat
Choke, torn into pieces
No, I dont want to be this

But I wont let this build up inside of me
I wont let this build up inside of me
I wont let this build up inside of me
I wont let this build up inside of me

She isnt real
I can't make her real
She isnt real
I can't make her real


another real journal coming soon i promise ]]> ~damiandevonshire http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/2557253/ http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/2557253/ Tue, 01 Jun 2004 10:33:10 PDT [ music | nin/hurt and flaw/ final cry ]

NINE INCH NAILS LYRICS

"Hurt"

I hurt myself today
to see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
the only thing that's real
the needle tears a hole
the old familiar sting
try to kill it all away
but I remember everything

what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
you could have it all
my empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of shit
upon my liar's chair
full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
beneath the stains of time
the feeling disappear
you are someone else
I am still right here

what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end

you could have it all
my empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
if I could start again
a million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way



I am so sad by this, for the past has tarnished the way that u think. Gets me thinking for when I read this I went to a place that has become my little isolation of my past. As I looked at my friend’s grave I glanced at my leg, for as you cut your chest I did my leg. The scars as faint yet one stick’s out, it was done with a piece of glass about 4 inches long. It cut to the bone and is still kind of scarred. Yet most of it has faded with time. Then I thought why I did it, did I want to bleed or just hurt. Then I seen it, plain as day. I was use to the pain. I was the kid they picked on and yes it hurt being the one that all the kids hated because I was fat and listened to metal. Then when got older I had no one to hurt me, so I did it for them. Then I had some problems, found a friend dead, moved on and cut, fought with my father cut, lost my girl cut. Then my grandfather died and I couldn’t do it. I looked and cried for I was weak and then I wasn’t. He fought for a week for his life and then died, wasted away in his misery. This taught me what life was about. Well what was worth fighting for. I seen life and I have seen death, yet I cannot stop this ride as the life we live converts my madness. To what I am now, well I can see a trend. Since the urge is still there to open my flesh, though I have decided to cover the scars with a tattoo, for the time has come not to forget my past but to move on. For as I read so many journals and poetry I since so much pain that cannot be helped, maybe we are all just victims of our past, striving to overcome it yet not knowing how to relieve the pain. Then after so much pain and bloodshed we become addicted to the release and the sickness begins.


Then the time has come again for those that I call friends to leave, it happens to us all. Though I wonder how many people that say I will never forget you do. For we all have the ones that we listen to, we help them in their life. Talk them down from killing them selves, talk to them when family members die and yet at the drop of time they are gone. This is a repeating process that happens to us all, yet each time we are left looking dumb. This is just like the idea of a boy and girl saying that they will be friends after they break up. This barely ever happens for the idea of seeing someone that you were involved with is a bitch and hurts, so if the break up it self didn’t split the friendship the natural jealousy will take over and cause the problems that will lead to the end of it all. Then after all the pain and shit ends we look back wondering why the hell did we try, what was the reason that we even attempted to get with them, be sex, love, happiness, its all to be found as we look into the world. Yet if this is what we are to find why can it so easily be abused and exposed as a weakness? Then if we are not with them, we cannot be with a person that knows them. For they look at it like you are the one that was with their friend. May that be true at times this can be a great trait to see that friends will stand that test, what about the one that was with the friend that was made to look a fool. They just remain alone looking stupid, duped by yet another. For all we need is to be with one person that doesn’t drive us insane in the first part of our lives, a person that we can grow old and die with, for that’s all we are looking for is a way not to die alone. This then makes me think of what I am doing with my life, for I, like the rest of the world have no fucking clue who the hell I am to be with, there are those that I would love to be involved with, yet afraid that It would end very badly and I would loose the friendship that spawned the attraction. So by le... ]]> ~damiandevonshire http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/2535273/ http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/2535273/ Sat, 29 May 2004 11:12:28 PDT 7/3 and 7/4 summerfest ft. mushroomhead
7/11 dope
7/23 vans warped tour
7/31 unified culture
8/19 ozzfest


Concert calendar is up and finished, though the month of June is kind a slow July makes up for it very nicely. Though the vans tour is a gift to my sister I see it as me trying a new type of music. Yet ozzfest cannot get here fast enough for me, pyro, anml, and god will be there. Then in July I will see one of the best bands in my view that would be dope. Then smile starts the whole swing of things, eh, I know that they are more a radio band but its 12-buck show. Then on my birthday shroom is playing, and at the end of the month unified culture comes back to the stage. Summer of work and play will make Tim a real boy!!!!!!!

Damn now I need to see what song I will be putting in this journal. Well it will be two songs by one of the bands that I will be seeing, dope’s easy and jenny’s crying. Each song has a message and means something to me.

DOPE LYRICS

"Easier"

Would it make things easier if I were gone
Would it make things right if I was never wrong
Would it make things easier if I were gone
Would it make things easier

All the times you took for granted that I waited here for you
I was on another planet, I was waiting there for you

She said
Would it make things easier if I were gone
Would it make things right if I was never wrong
Would it make you happy when you sing your song
Would it make things easier

I was blind and I was faded and I didn't have a clue
I was always into something that I always had to do

He said
Would it make things easier if I were gone
Would it make things right if I was never wrong
Would it make you happier to move along
Would it make things easier

All the awful things we say, all the stupid games we play
Every night and everyday, I don't know what else to say

Would it make things easier if I were gone
Would it make things right if I was never wrong
Would it make you happier to be alone
Would it make things easier
Would it make things easier if I were gone
Would it make you happier to be alone
Would it make things right if I was never wrong
Would it make things easier
Would it make things easier


Well for those that read my journal yesterday I am sorry I was rushed and wanting to just get one out. So here is what happened at work and all the little shit that I left out. Thursday night the power went out at my work, damn old folks home. Then I had to run around for about an hour shutting off alarms and attempting to get the janitors in. finally the electrician showed upped and a hour and 45 min later the power was on. Then at 4:30 a person passed. Not that bad except for the part of my job that says that I need to escort the corner and show him the way to the room and then wait for him to leave, me and this guy on the elevator with a dead body, kind of a reminded of me of taking care of my grandfather and when my grandma died.


Then yesterday anml woke me up and we went to Rhodes. Saw one of the best teachers that I know. And some people that I would say can lighten up a bad day. There was jess; man she needs to find happiness for she needs it.. lol. Then I saw Sammy, kind a weird that she talks to me still. For she is Tab’s sister and claims that she not mad. Eh, go figure; she is another one that needs something to brighten her day. Then I saw my good friend spike, Brit is the shit, very good people. Lets see there was Fred, kewl dude and kick ass bassist, umm, then I saw yellie, another one that needs a sun for her day, though she is good people. Yet no smiley. At least now I can laugh at her saying I went and she wasn’t there.

OKAY I AM TAKING A FRIENDS ADVICE AND JUST JUMPING, WELL AT LEAST TYING WHAT I THINK AND FEEL.

DOPE LYRICS

"Jenny's Cryin'"

Just som one to hold and someone to hate
And something to blame for all the pain

I could ignore her
I could complin
I never wated anything

Why
She says,
Everything is crashing down
Why
She says,
Now the tears are falling down

Jenny is cryin
And I don't know why
And her life's so insane
So now Jenny is hating me

Just something to fill the nothing inside
And something to make her nevercry
Just something to thrill me something to hide
And something to help her say goodbye
Just something to kill me something to do
And something to blow her hed off why

Do you really wanna die ~damiandevonshire http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/2529337/ http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/2529337/ Fri, 28 May 2004 14:32:24 PDT
FLAW LYRICS

"You've Changed"

We've been through this before......

Compromise
With me agree right now
Useless cries
I'm telling you just how
Paralyzed
There is nothing I can do
I realize
I liked the other you.

You've changed
Everything about you is strange
Look at yourself, you've changed
With the facts in your face
It's causing conflict

You've changed
Everything about you is strange
Look at yourself, you've changed
With the facts in your face
It's causing conflict

Hypnotized
By all your complex games
Sacrifice
My own opinions change
Justify
Just why to stay with you
I can't see why
Nothing else for me to do
It makes no sense
Putting ourselves through all this
At my expense
Don't I deserve much less
It's way past time
To right the wrong we're in
The bottom line
No way that we can win

You've changed
Everything about you is strange
Look at yourself, you've changed
With the facts in your face
It's causing conflict

You've changed
Everything about you is strange
Look at yourself, you've changed
With the facts in your face
It's causing conflict

You brought it all, all on yourself, you're strange to me
[background vocal]
You brought on all this mess
My needs were not addressed
You caused so much distress
This much you must admit

You brought it all, all on yourself, you're strange to me
[background vocal]
You brought on all this mess
My needs were not addressed
You caused so much distress
This much you must admit

You've changed
Everything about you is strange
Look at yourself, you've changed
With the facts in your face
It's causing conflict

You've changed
Everything about you is strange
Look at yourself, you've changed
With the facts in your face
It's causing conflict

I'm not the one who changed

I'm not the one who changed



Well now as to what is going on, well I got nothing new to say except the shit that happened at work. Power outage, then a death, I hate the whole idea of escorting the corner to the room and waiting for the body to come out. Fucking shit reminds me of my grandfather when he went. Went to Rhodes today, saw some people talked to spike she is good people, just a lot of shit that I am happy I can help her with. Now I am just sitting here waiting for food to get done since I got work at 8 till am. Fuckers, there going to kill me with these hours, as far as me talking to people I tried to call Tara last night and then see her today and guess what. Neither worked, I am thinking of calling her before I leave. Though I don’t know if I’ll have that chance. I am going to go see smile empty soul with anml and axe, good shit. Man this is a boring journal. Well I need to say this, ill nino is a fucking awesome band, there music can hit me and get me to think. Since I am posting songs with journals these days lets see, aww , yes here we go a song by ill nino. And this is dedicated to some one.. and yes I got another pointless poetry award, eh, maybe its time to stop competing??

ILL NINO LYRICS

"Letting Go"

I still hear my voice
It's calling in my head
But if I had only one choice
I'd leave it left unsaid

Unsaid

I try to reach you but my senses got so blurry
And I, try to teach you but my words come out so muddied
And I, if there's one thing that I should let you know
It's go away
But I keep fighting and I'm finding your injustice

It's just killing me (killing you)
I cannot breathe
Just let me go (killing me)
Or this will break me

My inner voices
Are part of my disease
'Cause it's pushing me to hurt you
But killing you is just killing me

If I can't have you and the dreams you put inside my head
I would not leave you but I keep you here until our death
You think it's over, there's a gun in my head full of lead
I want to use it but I can't abuse it and that's why

It's just killing me (killing you)
I cannot breathe
Just let me go (killing me)
Or this will break me

My inner voices
Are part of my disease
'Cause it's pushing me to hurt you
But killing you is just killing me

What are you waiting for?
You will never get away
What are you waiting for?
You will not get away
<... ]]> ~damiandevonshire http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/2522518/ http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/2522518/ Thu, 27 May 2004 15:57:34 PDT
ARCH ENEMY LYRICS
Instinct

The more I see - the less I believe
The more I hear - the less I care
This world we've created, has left me cold
This world is sedated, dying in it's sleep

I feel nothing

Seen it written on a thousand faces
The simple truth we fear
Seen it happen in a thousand places
Instinct brought us here

The more I see - the less I believe
The more I hear - the less I care
We used to be the chosen ones
Second to none
Look at what we've become
A pathetic excuse for life

I feel nothing

I can feel nothing
Nothing at all
Except for the pain
That hits me again


MINDLESS SELF INDULGENCE LYRICS

"Royally Fucked"

chuck it - you son of a bitch
mom, dad, why don't you finger me too?
i can't say the same for me - you son of a bitch
i could be so fucking cool
i will never be young
i will never be loved
i will never be wrong
so i am royally fucked - i am royally fucked
i love it - you son of a bitch
all of them dead now, let me be the same
oh oh - one two, one two - fall on my knees
i will never be young
i will never be loved
i will never be wrong
so i am royally fucked - i am royally fucked
ok - ok - ok - don't let them see me now
don't let them see me like this
i will never be young
i will never be loved
i will never be wrong
so i am royally fucked - i am royally... i am royally... i am royally... fucked ]]> ~damiandevonshire http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/2522334/ http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/2522334/ Thu, 27 May 2004 15:33:32 PDT ~damiandevonshire http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/2515072/ http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/2515072/ Wed, 26 May 2004 16:38:03 PDT
ARCH ENEMY LYRICS
Instinct

The more I see - the less I believe
The more I hear - the less I care
This world we've created, has left me cold
This world is sedated, dying in it's sleep

I feel nothing

Seen it written on a thousand faces
The simple truth we fear
Seen it happen in a thousand places
Instinct brought us here

The more I see - the less I believe
The more I hear - the less I care
We used to be the chosen ones
Second to none
Look at what we've become
A pathetic excuse for life

I feel nothing

I can feel nothing
Nothing at all
Except for the pain
That hits me again ]]> ~damiandevonshire http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/2509559/ http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/2509559/ Tue, 25 May 2004 21:54:56 PDT

Words typed if haste/as the time moves forward way to slow/this is you my muse/my soul mate/good damn I wish I could be there for you/healing my mind/as the door opens to this dark maze/ just the fire I need to melt my heart’s eye

Walk alone in life/never knowing what is there till we tried/now I walk alone every day/as we walk the same roads/talking on chats/ seeing each thought/a thread to our souls/ ]]> ~damiandevonshire http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/2501373/ http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/2501373/ Mon, 24 May 2004 20:28:56 PDT

will add more later


bleeding through lyrics. this is to tara
2. Sweet Vampirous

i've cursed this day with no regrets, with no compromise. curse your grace.
shallow, this hatred that presses its finger to my lips. simple love is to
blame. i won't lay my head down with this shame. kiss the sky. i'm always waiting
here on the ground, on the ground. be warned. shallow, this hatred that
presses its finger to my lips. be warned, she'll kill you. be warned, she'll kill us
all. be warned, she'll kill you. be warned, she'll kill us all. be warned. be
warned, she'll kill you. be warned she'll kill me.



4. On Wings Of Lead

Nothing was supposed to hurt like this. missing you was always one more kiss.
now there's nothing that i can do. one more nail in the coffin, and it's all
for you. always were and always were a simple love story. you were everything
i ever hoped and dreamed. drown me in a pool of my blood. it's getting harder
just to breathe. i'll suffocate you faster just so you can't see, so you can't
see me sleep. it's getting harder just to say the right things. i've seen the
angel's face, and i've heard her sing to me. from my reflection on this razor
blade, i've heard ten thousand dying screams, and they're calling me. the day
will break on this saddest day, so don't let me wake. i've heard this all
before, and i've seen this over and over again. don't let me wake. drown me in a
pool of my blood. it's getting harder just to breathe. i'll suffocate you
faster just so you can't see, so you can't see me sleep. so you can't see me
sleep. the day will break on this saddest day, so don't let me wake. i've heard
this all before, and i've seen this over and over again. don't let me wake.
nothing was supposed to hurt like this. and missing you, was always one more kiss.
and now there's nothing that i can do. there's just one more nail in the
coffin. there's just one more nail, and it's all for you. i've seen the angel's
face, and i've heard her sing to me. from my reflection on this razor blade, i've
heard ten thousand dying screams, and they're calling me. the day will break
on this saddest day, so don't let me wake. i've heard this all before, and
i've seen this over and over again. don't let me wake. ]]> ~damiandevonshire http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/2403187/ http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/2403187/ Mon, 10 May 2004 22:15:37 PDT [ mood | anger at myself ]
[ music | flaw/medicate ]

Mein Gemüt ist zerschmettert, als ob ein Feuerhaken der Gerechtigkeit es durchstochen hat. Für das ein, daß war mit, daß es paßt gesehen hat, mich ein neues Arschloch innerhalb ihres Journals zu reißen. Obwohl es mir hilft, zu lassen, gehen von den Gefühlen, die ich versuchte,. lol festzuhalten. Lustiges Ding ist das Geheimnis das sie doesn’t weiß. Es gab einen Grund, daß ich versucht habe, Lasche eine Woche zu verlassen, bevor sie mit mir aufgelöst hat. Ich Art ein getroffen mich auf mit einem x und ya. Wir haben eine kleine Versammlung von den Gemütern gehabt. Ich habe wie Scheiße gefühlt, noch nachdem Lesen das, ich mich wundere, wenn ich soll. Für wenn die Zeit war eine Lüge und sie hat keine Gefühle darin gehabt, war ich frei, zu handeln. Dann warum geworden hat’t sie hat gelassen mir verlassen sie, die sagt, daß sie es wasn’t die Zeit gefühlt hat, oder war es, daß sie mich brechen wollte?? Warum fickt das machte sie muß gehen jener Tiefpunkt. Ist es die Tatsache, die sie einem Ausweg für ihr eigenes Gemüt finden mußte? Was je es ist, ficken Sie es. Fügen Sie nur es dem derjenig hinzu, die mich hassen. Besetzen Sie sie, die alle mich hassen. Wie fickt das Dose die ich gehe in einen anderen reletionship und Lächeln, vertrauend daß es gewonnen hat’t Ende mag den Rest. Für aus vier. Ein, fickend nur eine Reden zu mir. O, und Lasche jenes Kücken Liz, ist ein guter Freund der Mine von sillygoth. (Mollykillz) prüft ihren bio u wird sehen seinen keinen Satz auf.

Gut außerdem, daß ich peachy bin, fickend nur groß. Meine einzigen Freunde scheinen zu fallen und ich trage Isolierung ein. Ich habe nichts erhalten, um viel zu sagen. Nur, daß ich wünsche dieses eine Mal, daß ich könnte sehen daß Leute nicht sind, was ich sie will, zu sein. Ich werde von hat geliebt, ihres zu behalten, während ein Freund und ab jetzt ich don’t weiß. Ich wundere mich, wenn dies irgendetwas hat, mit mir zu tun, bin nicht auf jenem Fest. Wenn das’s das Ding dann ficken mich ein Fluß weint, und bitte ficken ertrinkt darin. Mein Gott ich’m zuhörend neuer gefundener Herrlichkeit. Was fickt das? Besetzen Sie dies ist traurig, zu sagen, aber Kyoto schrieb um dies. Sie hat dieses Kommen gesehen. Vielleicht hätte ich ihr vor allen den Monaten zuhören sollen. Gut dies ist die Zukunft, und ich werde auf, nur allein für die Zeit ziehen. Mann, Dose’t ich habe einen Sommer, wo ich mich freue. Ein Sommer der Freude? Gut die helle Seite seine Feder. Werde deshalb wenn ich am besten von diesem ich machen kann, in Ordnung recht haben??

Dann welches von Danielle, und biete mich, was die Hölle ich kann, sie an? Für seines bewiest jetzt, daß alle, die ich mache, Leuten verletzt sind. So jetzt zweifle ich meine jede Bewegung. Die Wahlen, die ich gemacht habe, sind bewiesen falsch gewesen. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Dunkleren Tage und hellere Nächte Devonshire ]]> ~damiandevonshire http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/2355368/ http://damiandevonshire.deviantart.com/journal/2355368/ Mon, 03 May 2004 23:56:04 PDT
"Tear Away"

I'm tearing away
Pieces are falling I can't seem to make them stay
You run away
Faster and faster you can't seem to get away
Break
Hope there's a reason
For questions unanswered I just don't see everything
Yes I'm inside you
Tell me how does it feel to feel like this
Just like I do
I don't care about anyone else but me
I don't care about anyone
Do I really want this
Sometimes I scare myself I just can't let it go
Can you believe it
Everything happens for reasons I just don't know
I don't care about anyone else but me
I don't care about anyone
I don't care about anyone else but me
I don't care about anyone or anything but me
Damn I love me
I don't care about anyone else but me
I don't care about anyone
I don't care about anyone else but me
I don't care about anyone or anything
I don't care about anyone else but me
I don't care about anyone

Well looks like its time for me to explain where I been for the last month.
There are a lot of things that I would like to explain here and say. So yes this is my mini confession. For there a lot of things that people that know me need to know. For this all started as my computer got sick. Fucking virus in the bios. Then it became so much more, kind a like a journey of myself to find that peace that I need. For the month of April was a very interesting time. I just wish that I knew where to start, well yes I do.
DARK LOTUS LYRICS

"She Was"

[Shaggy 2 Dope]
Woo hoo
You shoulda seen her
Man, her fid in my hand heavy sweatin' like a fever
The way she cut through flesh, she was beautiful
Her grace and finess had my love incurable
Little red beady marks trickle down her closed eyes
Whenever there's static she'll make it all right
She was there, never saw me out
Hand on my bidness
Until that day
The court provided a witness

[Anybody Killa]
She was like the moon
The stars, the rain, the heat from the sun
Any fucking thing you could imagine
I was so upset when her ass left
I hunted her down at put three in her chest
Wrapped the body up put her in the ride and drove it home
To find a resting place so her soul can roam
What kinda girl could make a man just crack
The bitch really has to be all that
She was

[Chorus]
She was something I'll never forget
I don't really miss her though
Now she's gone and never coming back
She was
She was something I'll never forget
I don't really miss her though
Now she's gone and never coming back

[Violent J]
Blind date, she was alive when I got there
Dead when I left
I shut her throat down, squeezed all the air out her neck
She fought back, scared with a deep fear in her eyes
Until they rolled into the back of her head and she died
I gripped her by the ears slamming her skull off the floor
Till they ripped right off her head, I bolted for the door
Started to cry I forgot to kiss her goodbye
I turn around to go back in and keep reliving the lie
She loves me

[Jamie Madrox]
She's like a ride on a roller coaster
Filled with many ups and downs
And did everything just to get closer
To her, but she pushed me away
Fat kids are used to rejection
We deal with that shit everyday
Something about her made me press the issue
My friends told me to leave it alone, she'll only diss you
She did, but I was ready for that
Pulled my axe outta my book bag and I put it in her back

[Chorus]
She was something I'll never forget
I don't really miss her though
Now she's gone and never coming back
She was
She was something I'll never forget
I don't really miss her though
Now she's gone and never coming back

[Blaze Ya Dead Homie]
She was a brown complexion with a touch of German blood
Like the sweetest purple cooch to ever surface in the hood
I kept her on my bed
And at my side at all times
She was known for having grown men wanting her crime
High temepered and high strung
But at least she get the job done
And bust off a couple straight shots just for fun
Till that faithfull night
The pigs busted in my residence
And took my bitch and fucked her as some murder evidence
She innocent

[Monoxide Child]

She's outta her mind
It was like the second coming of Satan watching... ]]> ~damiandevonshire