http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:darklight436&section=today deviantART RSS for by:darklight436 en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Sat, 12 Dec 2009 02:16:11 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://darklight436.deviantart.com/journal/28345996/ http://darklight436.deviantart.com/journal/28345996/ Sat, 14 Nov 2009 04:22:15 PST
what can i say to in this journal, to people not reading it?

well for those who have been keeping up, i have been on haeitus for a shit load of time.

since goiing into college, my self-esteem has sequestered and my drawings, that used to give me comfort, now lays collecting dust.

i feel worst than the first year of high school.

i barely see any friends, when i do they mostly just give a passive "hi".

even my sister tells me that i should hang out more with friends (pfft, as if they have any time)

the depression makes me put on a couple more pounds, which doesn't help at all. >.> my parents are pressuring me to go reserve both to get the weight off and get government money.

sigh... see you some other time


p.s. i'm not asking for sympathies, i just want to really work these personal issues my self

]]> ~darklight436 http://darklight436.deviantart.com/journal/25085266/ http://darklight436.deviantart.com/journal/25085266/ Tue, 02 Jun 2009 09:15:54 PDT
my god been sooo long since i updated my journal, since the school year is drawing to a close, i had to focus if i was missing anything or was on track for graduation and everything else. i will recount my last days for school, embellishing the most important points and and the thoughts and feelings i had along the way.

a few months before i committed myself into running for prom king. partly encouraged by friends and the other part motivated to be noticed.
at first i had a rather nice momentum going on, i learned that talking to people are much easier than i thought, but i started to sloww down because of some problems i had with grades.

then i started to look for possible dates to go with to prom. i first wanted to go with a group like L.C.(a popular clique), but many already had reserved seats with all their friends. there was no way i could fit in and all the girls were already taken, three rejected me.

the night before prom, i decided to help out with decorations and stuff. it took the entire night and morning. i was exhausted and was very grateful for gertrude to pick me up (gertrude is one of my class officers, i don't know how to drive still).

i was amazed at how well the preperations went the day of prom. Solomon (class treasurer) decided to remove my reserved seat, because the other people wanted me out, i was able to pick out another seat near L.C., and i was rather happy, but Solomon said that there might be people sitting there, so he sent me to the non-reserved table, by myself, all the way to the back! if i was going to sit in the non-reserves then i shouldn't have paid four dollars of reservations (i paid an extra two dollars for my supposed date). such a waste

the rest of the night was okay, the food was mediocre and the entertainment was mediocre at best. the thing that ruined my night was the crowning of prom king, as you might know already, i lost. i sunk to my chair in disappointment. some friends came by me to cheer me up, i was very happy for that. but it just destroyed my will to enjoy the rest of the night. i kept making excuses such as being tired caused by the decorating the night before. i seriously did not want to be sulking but did anyway. i went home and tried drinking m sarrows away but tequila was a vile drink, i wasted a whole cup full.



fast forwarding to May 23, it was the last day of school and everyone was hectecly trying to finish loose ends, i retook a whole bunch of tests to bump up my grade. then i went to do the countdown (counting down the end of school) it was okay, people were hyped,every one was out in the sun and i enjoyed it alittle. one of my friends blew up a condom and tied it to a balloon, it was hilarious when they released it into the air.

i was excited not only because school ended but because i was invited (for the first time, i'm never invited to anything)to go with a couple friends, all i needed to do was wait for Sherwin to pick me up. i got all dressed and prepared. i waited for him, then waited for him, then waited for him some more, he never came. i stayed up waiting until past midnight. i just felt terrible after that.

after, i attended the graduation practices, it was hard doing it under the hot sun and on the blazing concrete bleechers.

i also went to the bacculearate mass practice, i felt so left out, i just stood out there in the corner. everyone was mingling with everyone else, they took pictures of themselves. komika tried cheering me up, i was at the very least thankful of that.

the mass was very boring, like any other church service. i was actually uncomfortable to be in the church with a whole bunch ofpeople i know. i try seperating religion from social.

right after mass, i went to a senior luncheon to recieve an award, just like at church i did not feel very fitting. the free buffet food brightened me up a bit (because i always binge on food when i feel bad).
the room became very noisy when the awards were being given out, when i recieved mine (a distinguished art certificate)no one really cheered for me. and no one wanted to take my picture, Mr. Labrador and i waited a while for anyone to take pictures, reluctantly a girl just stood up and took a quick pic so i can sit back down. again i felt terrible.

i wanted to leave immediately after that, but i couldn't contact my sister until i used up all my quarters. once again thanks to gertrude she arranged a ride for me.

the day before graduation, there was an all day graduation rehearsal, it was exhausting going over the routine. tensions mounted as people got irritated by the repeated practices. i saw krystal passing out some invitationals to a party, i wanted to go. a few times she past by handing them out, i thought i was getting one because i thought krystal and i were good friends, or at least durin... ]]> ~darklight436 http://darklight436.deviantart.com/journal/23005600/ http://darklight436.deviantart.com/journal/23005600/ Wed, 04 Feb 2009 15:48:44 PST
not much happening on my end of the line.

just learning flash and going to school.

been to several school carwashes to raise money for prom and graduation, yet still very short on how much we ought to have


a while ago i won an art contest along with 200 dollars worth of gift certificates like a scuba trip.

they had my stuff on the cover of a chamorro lunar calender.

i still scratch my head over why the hell i won. i mean it was uber crappy, i worked on it the day before thee deadline so i was like scrambling on it.

however, i liked it when they announced the news right in front of my class so they were all praising me.

if you want, though i don't know why you would, you can download the lunar calender at the western pacific fishery council website.


winning that contest encouraged me to join another contest for a hundred dollar cash, yea it's small but it's more than enough.

i was also chosen for the congressional art contest.

and i will see if i can also join the doodle for google contest also.

man, if i win all three, bit too optimistic, i could be known through out the school!

any way bye

]]> ~darklight436 http://darklight436.deviantart.com/journal/22544520/ http://darklight436.deviantart.com/journal/22544520/ Mon, 12 Jan 2009 14:10:15 PST

how's it going?

for me hell in school

i don't have anything to submit right now
i've been working like crazy on flash
trying to learn the basics an advanced techniques at the same time.

sooo...

yea, nothing but the same old B.S.

shoot!

]]> ~darklight436 http://darklight436.deviantart.com/journal/21583780/ http://darklight436.deviantart.com/journal/21583780/ Thu, 20 Nov 2008 15:16:31 PST
i'm putting up this journal just for the sake of updating

anyway things that are happening for me... i am searching for a college and a full ride scholarship

things are moving too fast!!!

my grades are going down the drain, especially in english and japanese class. man! i shouldn't even be failing those classes

speaking of japanese, we just had a japanese exchage. i was so excited and i primped myself up very well, but turns out that i had gotten a guy.
that ruined the whole experiance, not to be shallow but the guy had a dead face and seemed unimpressed with anything i do! i swear him and his friends were making fun of me along with others, i don't know about what, maybe how i looked or how i got stuck with a guy.

i shouldn't have stood first in line! may be second or thrid would have done it, cuz it was nothing but girls! cute ones even!




when i gave him his gifts, not a shred of reaction to it, all he said is "oh", i gave him a nice pillow and a toy car, he gives me a flimsy, 99 yen fan. i hate myself, everyone had a great time but me.

however there is a little bright side for this. he spoke and understood enough english to put my japanese to a minimum.

]]> ~darklight436 http://darklight436.deviantart.com/journal/20264303/ http://darklight436.deviantart.com/journal/20264303/ Mon, 01 Sep 2008 03:37:15 PDT
this year i had to transfer to a another school farther away, because my old one was considered a "hazard and unfit for student learning". can't believe the crap, now i have to share a campus late in the day and come home too tired to do homework given. of coarse there are the chores that i do and do alone (sisters got great "excuses") it seems never ending.

in light of the situation, i got a cool teacher who organizes snorkeling field trips and is bearable in class. in dark of the situation, my team members never showed up in the trips so i couldn't go out to the reef, no one wanted to be my partner also. i just sat at the shore and waded in the shallows, i don't blame them, it's not like the first time this happened. (TxT)

i'm looking for a way i can get to college in the u.s.

my parents are planning to send me to the philippines, but i can't stand it there. the pollution, strangers and noise is just too much

PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME!!!!


on a lighter note:
YAY!!! my minimalism piece got featured!

once i get in the mood to draw or have time to draw i'll put a little sumthin sumthin fo' ya

]]> ~darklight436 http://darklight436.deviantart.com/journal/18553849/ http://darklight436.deviantart.com/journal/18553849/ Thu, 29 May 2008 02:19:43 PDT
anyway, i've been focusing all my time towards finishing up my makeup before the school year ends. i tried to make sure that i've been passing all my classes then discovered i was failing TWO FRICKING QUARTERS!!! can you believe that?!! first quarter: 67 and the second was 56!!! god!! i really was shaking in my boots because my family would certainly kick my ass if i graduated late! but for some unforseen luck my original teacher retired early making my new teacher give me 10 extra percent! the second quarter was taught by an under qualified substitute, so my teacher made an appeal which resulted in a full hundred percent grade for me. then i gave a few little touches to my frightening japanese grade, leaving me very happy... ok maybe not so much.


-----------------------------------------------------
A DEATH IN THE FAMILY
do not read this if you are empathetic in anyway
----------------------------------------------------

Just when i thought my luck was just getting good, my uncle jumped off the balcony from the fourth floor of the hospital that he was staying at. May God Bless Him. there were many reasons floating about of why my uncle killed himself. one real fact was that he was clinically depressed and psychotic, another is that the hospital staff did not tie him down according to protocal and should have placed him on the first floor where the mentally ill is kept which is also another protocal to the unacredited hospital. my aunt was suggesting that his wife fed him poison that left him crazy and left him alone in the hospital have him finish the job himself. however, niether of those reasons will be able to revive my late uncle. after his death, followed a week or two of uncomfortable moments and sadness.
my mom brought my stroked grandmother and grandfather from the phillipines even though against my dad's wishes. them being here brought even more hardship because we had to take care of them and carry them in and out of the cars. sooo... yeah... i cried at the first rosary and at the burial. i miss him so much, as well as the rest of the family. i wish your happy uncle, third times the charm.

]]> ~darklight436 http://darklight436.deviantart.com/journal/17311485/ http://darklight436.deviantart.com/journal/17311485/ Thu, 13 Mar 2008 05:23:51 PDT
new and much better photoshop!! CS frikkin 3!!!!! so i'm trying to get

back into the swing of things here on deviantArt... haven't been too

proactive here lately, usual excuse, but now i'm working on a new

piece and i'm trying to add new techniques i've learned over the

break!! this time i'm trying to get a subscription through contests

(although i see no contest worth joining in or i'll sell things.

sooo, what happened to me since february...i was alone on

valentines, no surprise there, i was rejected from the japanese trip all

because of my stupid mistake, more family problems, swamped in

school work and yadda yadda yadda...





OH AND MY BIRF-DAY IS CLOSE!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

THE BIG EIGHTEEN!!! WAAH I'M OLD!






i wish those who watched me before had not delete me while i was away

-----------------------------------------------------------------------



]]> ~darklight436 http://darklight436.deviantart.com/journal/16292478/ http://darklight436.deviantart.com/journal/16292478/ Sun, 06 Jan 2008 19:42:25 PST
i've lost interest in deviantart now, ever since my photoshop was wiped out.

i'm rearing for a new one installed soon but i'm pretty sure not very soon. the anticipation is killing me.

and yea, school swamped me, me and my mom is looking for a surgeon consultation for myself, still lazy and everything is out of order.

soo yea that's about all i can say for now, i guess i wrote this just to tell everyone that i'm still alive. i know that no one is reading this, but who gives a !@#$




i'll be send in something, hopefully soon.





friends:

and many more...

]]> ~darklight436 http://darklight436.deviantart.com/journal/15774003/ http://darklight436.deviantart.com/journal/15774003/ Mon, 03 Dec 2007 03:44:52 PST
wow the japanese exchange awhile ago was extreme and a unique experiance for me. my partner kei liked the name sign that i made and kept being friendly to me through the rest of the day, even though that i think she shouldn't. i kept speaking broken japanese with a mix of english and body languages, she just kept saying yes or no. what i thought messed the whole day was unexpected rain during the welcome ceremony! it completely destroyed my japanese notes and schedule, everything was in limbo, of all the days to not bring a jacket or an umbrella! when we took refuge at the gym, my partner complained about it being so frikkin hot and it was! while we watched the cultural performances, ROTC meneuvers and kendo exhibition, my partner was soon bothered by two jerks (whom both were niether charming or smart!). she just kept being hit on, they asked for her phone number, for a date and a bunch of other poorly pronounced phrases. it pissed me off the whole time because my Partner actually wanted to sit next to those two dickheads, i lost my chance to engage into conversation with her.



when the "entertainment" was over we both head out to grab our lunch plates and went on for some where to eat. i didn't actually wanted to bring her into our school because it is a total mess and i wanted to avoid rude people from bothering her. But we ended up in a hot room with a couple of our friends, i wanted to take the chance to talk to her but i didn't want to irritate her while we ate. After we ate our lunches we were supposed to go to an activity class (such as dancing, chamorro weaving and snack making) but we ended up walking around for 15 minutes looking for a bathroom for her and a schedule for us (i previously lost the other schedule). eventually we made it to our intended class (initially it was supposed to be chamorro snack making but due to inefficient funds we switched to weaving) although because of my incompetence we had only 7 minutes left. i immedately rounded a bunch of guys to weave things for her before we left (they made rice holders and fish).


then before we knew it, it's about the ending of the exchange. i felt i didn't do much to make her time worthwhile. despite the horrible experiance with had with me, she still continued to smile and act as if it was great. for a gift Kei gave me a bag with a japanese map, bunch of small toys, copsticks and a fan. my confidence sank, i felt the cocolates and tropical cd was too little of value to her. i wish i had bought something better. i bet i said GOMEN about 30 times! she had no reason to forgive me.


i folllowed her to the parking area and gave our final goodbyes and hugs. then watched and watched and wave to the pink buses as they make their way to the gate.

GOMEN NA SAI!!! KEI!!!!

TSUKETE KUDASAI

]]> ~darklight436 http://darklight436.deviantart.com/journal/15485861/ http://darklight436.deviantart.com/journal/15485861/ Mon, 12 Nov 2007 21:07:02 PST
so in my japanese class i am struggling to get ready for the japanese exchange. i am so anxious about them being here, i mean my school is a bunch of crap. my teacher told me not to be surprised when they look disgusted to see what our school looks like. our bathrooms are so gross and our halls are so dirty. i keep hoping everyday that somehow someway my principle would radically fix it up before they arrive, but i know that would never happen!!!

AND I STILL DON'T HAVE A PRESENT FOR KEI AND DON'T KNOW MUCH CONVERSATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

]]> ~darklight436 http://darklight436.deviantart.com/journal/15297653/ http://darklight436.deviantart.com/journal/15297653/ Wed, 31 Oct 2007 06:51:41 PDT

any hoo i'm way too busy for with home work aka no artwork again for awhile. my grades are slipping and my report card is coming out tomorrow, i'm soo worried that i'm having an F!!!


in a little hapier news i am paired with a girl for the japanese exchange program!!! her name is kei, she has the cutest name!!! i hope she's hot and not talk too much in japanese. since i'm obligated to give her a present i'm debating whether or not to buy her something or make it by myself.making it by my self would mean alot but i don't think i have time to finish whatever over the course of two weeks! and what if she doesn't like it or is a big bitch!!! damn!

sigh

just hope to make good friends with her

]]> ~darklight436 http://darklight436.deviantart.com/journal/15039858/ http://darklight436.deviantart.com/journal/15039858/ Sat, 13 Oct 2007 07:12:33 PDT



augh!!! when will school ever end! nomatter how hard i try i never seem to be organized! i know i may be ranting about it like everyone else but i'm serious! i can't get a hang of junior year, it seemed so easy last year, being with easy and kind teachers and having very easy work. now what is really killing me is chemistry, AP english,
AP government and japanese class! i'm really dragging down this year even when i tried to step my game.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------


blah blah blah...



sorry i haven't been on for a while and haven't been so active online now. i don't have much time drawing stuff on the computer anymore. i'm so busy with homework and people just keep requesting for comissions from me, i don't even get a chance to scan 'em. some of them were very nice, it really killed me to just gave them away. well thank you for everyone who watched, comment or supported me here, it really means a lot. i'll try to get back as soon as possible.

]]> ~darklight436 http://darklight436.deviantart.com/journal/14524363/ http://darklight436.deviantart.com/journal/14524363/ Thu, 06 Sep 2007 23:16:28 PDT
anyway seems that my profile has turned into a standstill like many other times before. sigh who cares if i don't get as much pageviews as any normal person gets (apparently i do) i need to find other ways of getting known! i've already taken the consideration of improving on my drawings a long time ago and i've been ever so active on deviantart. tell me the secret

in the mean time i'm working on this contest called the pink qilt contest. i can't believe i'm working on it when it is due by tomorrow! i'm soo lazy to get to work!

]]> ~darklight436 http://darklight436.deviantart.com/journal/14235173/ http://darklight436.deviantart.com/journal/14235173/ Sun, 19 Aug 2007 03:58:29 PDT
i have just finished the gift i promised for neu-neu, wish i had done it better then again nothing i do is any better. anyways hope neu-neu tells what she thinks about my work! i really think of her as a real freind not just some fan. hope she thinks the same

]]> ~darklight436 http://darklight436.deviantart.com/journal/13960708/ http://darklight436.deviantart.com/journal/13960708/ Tue, 31 Jul 2007 18:18:45 PDT
i'll work on something right now so i can get something done before school starts

]]> ~darklight436 http://darklight436.deviantart.com/journal/13400800/ http://darklight436.deviantart.com/journal/13400800/ Mon, 18 Jun 2007 23:28:25 PDT -----------------------------------

waiting and waiting
no fruit to bear
no one abode
to stop and stare

at my abstraction
the effort the feel
no attraction
the expiring appeal

the crowd is laughing
the joke is set
the critics are talking
my end has met

a sorrow song
i thought i was best
but i found myself wrong
it was really the rest

i still carried on
i numb the pain
to find what's gone
even if in vein

-cesario

-------------------------------

god!!! i really suck in poetry




can you believe my computer corrupted an artwork that i worked on for hours and hours!!!! my heart was ripped out of my chest!!! no future artwork shall fill this void in my soul!!! for hours i've been working on it!!!! sigh now i hafta redo it from scratch!

]]> ~darklight436 http://darklight436.deviantart.com/journal/13377487/ http://darklight436.deviantart.com/journal/13377487/ Sun, 17 Jun 2007 06:13:51 PDT
i really don't get it i've been ever so active in deviantart, i've tried even harder in perfecting my artwork yet no one seems to have cared the least bit. yeah i know that i should be patient and that i should be more active. i have for the last two months!

if anyone is reading i know what your thinking. that i am too ambitous or too self-centered. well i don't care, i'm getting tired of being in deviantart early in the morning to very late at night!!! i'm getting tired of waiting and nothing is bearing to fruit. sigh

]]> ~darklight436 http://darklight436.deviantart.com/journal/13298367/ http://darklight436.deviantart.com/journal/13298367/ Mon, 11 Jun 2007 03:14:51 PDT
LOVE YA MOM

]]> ~darklight436 http://darklight436.deviantart.com/journal/12881606/ http://darklight436.deviantart.com/journal/12881606/ Mon, 07 May 2007 21:23:11 PDT
SUMMER BREAK!!!!

when it's over I will have more time drawing these ideas that keep poppin in my head, but right now i am swamped! since it will be the end of school my teachers are crunching in as much as they possibly can. I have three projects, endless amount of school work and home work not to mention the chores that I do at home. I just can't possibly have time for alittle sketch or sumthing.

sorry i haven't been active in a while, i haven't sent in submissions heck i haven't even comment a lot! i'm just too tired or busy and Ihave no scanner so i have to wait for my freinds to scan it in for me!!!

I NEED A SCANNER!!!!

FREINDS:
[link]
[link]
[link]
[link]
[link]
[link]
[link]

JUST TO NAME A FEW...

]]> ~darklight436 http://darklight436.deviantart.com/journal/12425969/ http://darklight436.deviantart.com/journal/12425969/ Mon, 02 Apr 2007 04:33:10 PDT i'm tired after boarding up my windows... bye bye i need some sleep

]]> ~darklight436 http://darklight436.deviantart.com/journal/12252267/ http://darklight436.deviantart.com/journal/12252267/ Mon, 19 Mar 2007 22:45:24 PDT
more works are coming up but i need to wait for my freind to scan it first i want a scanner, a tablet and a a lot of art programs

]]> ~darklight436 http://darklight436.deviantart.com/journal/12208558/ http://darklight436.deviantart.com/journal/12208558/ Fri, 16 Mar 2007 16:00:49 PDT
]]> ~darklight436 http://darklight436.deviantart.com/journal/11849469/ http://darklight436.deviantart.com/journal/11849469/ Sat, 17 Feb 2007 00:35:13 PST
]]> ~darklight436 http://darklight436.deviantart.com/journal/11766862/ http://darklight436.deviantart.com/journal/11766862/ Sat, 10 Feb 2007 23:32:10 PST
]]> ~darklight436 http://darklight436.deviantart.com/journal/11559830/ http://darklight436.deviantart.com/journal/11559830/ Thu, 25 Jan 2007 00:35:08 PST
sorry for the inconveniance!

i miss the hot girls from phillipines and thailand >_<

]]> ~darklight436 http://darklight436.deviantart.com/journal/11156193/ http://darklight436.deviantart.com/journal/11156193/ Fri, 22 Dec 2006 22:43:04 PST

p.s. oh and did i mention that the girls here are so frikkin hott!!!!!!

]]> ~darklight436 http://darklight436.deviantart.com/journal/10849874/ http://darklight436.deviantart.com/journal/10849874/ Sat, 25 Nov 2006 20:51:33 PST
]]> ~darklight436 http://darklight436.deviantart.com/journal/10849848/ http://darklight436.deviantart.com/journal/10849848/ Sat, 25 Nov 2006 20:48:29 PST have a skit and eat and throw water balloons at.

]]> ~darklight436