Quick update here: Some of you might have noticed that I haven't been on dAmn for a long time, and if I am, I'm either idle or not around. I still keep up with my duties in #IdleRPG as much as possible, and wish to give out a warm to all my watchers and friends.

The reason for me not being so active in dAmn anymore is because I recently got a job and it's taking up a lot of my time. The money earned is going towards a good cause (The "Lets Take a Trip To England Fund"). My ankles kill and I can't walk properly. We can all blame cheap shoes and stupid people for that. I wore brand new shoes to work and got blisters the size of jupiter on the backs of my heels, and it hurts to even bend them, because the scabs split in half. Lovely, isn't it? I can't take some pictures if you'd like.

We all know that when im not on dAmn, im on skype with a certain someone, and if you have something important to tell me, you can note or gmail, either way: I'll get back to you ASAP. I wish i could be part of the dA Christmas Card projects, but alas, I am too busy with my life. I might give a few to certain people.

Last but not least, I've been tagged to do this so I will.

Purpose: Tell us 20 things about you and tag 6 others to do it.

Tagging: =Abinadi, `doofsmack, ~gfx-sheep, ~Bluecatdemoness, =Icarus-Has-Fallen, ~Maskawanian

i. I prefer roman numerals over numerical numbers

2. But for the purpose of this, i won't use them

3. After sentences, i usually always press the space bar twice.

4. I had a traumatizing experience in the shower today.

5. It involved an earwig, and no, i will not tell you. Maybe if you ask.

6. While i was taking a shower, i was thinking of things to put in this.

7. I didn't come up with much.

8. I love YOU

9. I have to play Halo 2 on live with =Icarus-Has-Fallen

10. I got a tablet yesterday (friday) and it's my first ever ( thanks to =traos)

11. I prefer boy shorts to panties or thongs

12. The earliest I've gone to bed in the past 2 months is 1am

13. Isn't this over yet?

14. I'm going to the movies with =thegnat today, then out to dinner

15. I've always wanted to go to England.

16. But I can't do a british accent to save my life.

17. For years, I was nicknamed the Russian Lesbian in my highschool, but am not Russian, nor a lesbian.

18. I got the award for highest mark in grade 12 university level physical education, but i hate gym.

19. I hate tea, and coffee.

20. I've never slept naked >_>

21. (because im special) I was tagged by two different people

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_{Made by =thegnat}


... ]]> ~deadlights11 http://deadlights11.deviantart.com/journal/6549070/ http://deadlights11.deviantart.com/journal/6549070/ Mon, 19 Sep 2005 19:06:08 PDT
_{Image made by =}thegnat


I adopted a cute lil' death fetus
from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!

*Ahem* Apologies for the previous journal entry, I must admit it was probably more than a little confusing for everyone minus one person in particular. Please forgive me, but any inquiries made through comments or notes won't be answered. It's in the past, the journal was a spontaneous implosion of my heart and head, and nothing more will be said of it. Kthxbai.

In other news, I missed my chance to go to a devmeet in Hamilton, where I currently live, which was organized by ^superkev and his friendly-friends. I would've hitched a ride with long time friend =thegnat and another person by the name of `sodalicious. But meh, to be honest, I had a better time staying at home and talking to =Nex9k9 all day, plus =traos on msn. Enjoyable, quite .

I do have some.. bad news.. at least for me. It seems that real-time chat is very difficult for me to participate in, when it comes to dAmn. So, unfortunately for the time being, I'll have to be grounded to msn and other lame IM messengers (no, not AIM) to get by the weeks before i can be home on the weekends to hop along happily in my most frequented rooms. Sorry folks.

I am, however, feeling rather jovial which is a great and pleasurable change from the past few days. Please don't ask about it, I would rather not have to ignore your comments . I remember in the past when I would post journals that would evoke thought and discussion, and I miss doing that. Many of you might remember journals posted on love, and the ideologies behind God and the universe. I miss those days, but it seemed that while i was away from school (during the summer), i lost interesting things to discuss. Let's hope that now with my intellectually creative juices flowing, i can once more post journals with some kind of stimuli. It seems too often nowadays, people strike for the easy way out, and don't bother using their brains.

What's happened to the idea of "original thought." I mean, seriously consider society today and the changes it has presented on the collective rectum that *is* the public. Consider why certain things grab your attention. There are various elements that can be blamed for lack of understanding within community, and in person. The truth is, first impressions stick whether or not we'd like to believe it.

Certain things pop out at individuals, things such as:

intensity (brightly/colourfully dressed people)
repetition (obnoxiously annoying people)
contrast to behaviour (A normally happy person suddenly being grumpy)
motives (this relies more heavily on individual experience rather than external stimulation, but it still appplies)

Why does society, and the people within it, label one another? Is it for the simple fact that organization has been embedded into our genetics and we prefer class and order? That doesn't make sense though, because the sloppiest, messiest people tend to be the most arrogant about political and social movements, they're either too absored with themselves to care what anyone else thinks, or too complexly emotional to go back to the basics of happiness versus sadness.

All the issues can be laid out and numbered, but I think the real problem lies in the fact that reality is based, as I've said in the past, on experiences. An... ]]> ~deadlights11 http://deadlights11.deviantart.com/journal/6301191/ http://deadlights11.deviantart.com/journal/6301191/ Mon, 22 Aug 2005 20:32:46 PDT
_{Image made by =thegnat}


I adopted a cute lil' death fetus
from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!

_{ART STATUS ARTISTS WHO ROCK MY SOCKS}

Okay, so my dad thought it would be fun to go out on Lake Ontario for a nice boat ride. My mom didn't feel like going, so she convinced me to go, so my dad wouldn't feel lonely. I grabbed my iPod and hopped into the truck. This is where it all goes wrong...

We get there to a stormy looking lake, the water's an inky black pool of death. Regardless, we pushed the boat into the water and started the engine, heading towards Port Dalhousie... which, by the way, is about an hour boat ride in ideal conditions. These weren't ideal. We ended up battling swells that were six feet high, and the boat isn't completely finished; meaning there's only one seat. And we all know who was sitting in it... my dad. It wasn't comfortable for him though, because he got sprayed by every wave.

Anyway, we almost get to the Port when I say to him, maybe we should turn around. He takes my advice and we start heading back to the marina. But the thing is, it was worse going back; the wind was in our faces, the swells getting bigger as the sun started to set. It was all lovely and such, the water was like a beast, a machine with a pulse of its own. While the sun was still up, the molten feel of it was almost intoxicating. It truly inspired me just by watching it; each swell would turn back on itself, folding over in a delicate dance that held my gaze.

Anyhow, I'm sitting in the front of the boat holding on to the sides for dear life. Several times we were ten feet in the air, and I had to stand in order to soften the fall when we eventually hit the water again. What an experience. I was wet, cold, sore, and very scared. It got dark, we couldn't see anything, and the swells were getting bigger. No sweat, we pulled into the marina, safe and whole. However I knew I wouldn't be able to walk: my legs were shaking from taking the brunt of the slamming. I was right, and my dad had to help me into the truck, where I felt sick to my stomach the whole ride home.

It's the day after, and every muscle from my lower back to my knees is pulled. I can't walk properly, and I can't bend over or sit for too long. Every time I get up, or try to, I groan and grit my teeth. It's not very nice. We were out there for two hours >_0.

The moral of the story is: Check the forecast before going on the water.

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http://deadlights11.deviantart.com/journal/5981475/ Tue, 19 Jul 2005 21:20:24 PDT
_{Image made by =}thegnat


I adopted a cute lil' death fetus
from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!

_{ART STATUS ARTISTS WHO ROCK MY SOCKS}

My personality.. It's very accurate. I bolded the highest percentages.

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test

Extraversion............56%
Stability..................50%
Orderliness..............53%
Altruism...................56%
Interdependence......56%
Intellectual..............63%
Mystical...................23%
Artistic....................56%
Religious.................10% (it lies)
Hedonism................30%
Materialism..............43%
Narcissism...............43%
Adventurousness......30%
Work ethic...............63%
Self absorbed..........43%
Conflict seeking.......50%
Need to dominate....43%
Romantic................30%
Avoidant.................63%
Anti-authority..........36%
Wealth....................36%
Dependency............70%
Change averse........56%
Cautiousness..........50%
Individuality............36%
Sexuality................23%
Peter pan complex...36%
Physical security.......70%
Physical fitness.........30%
Histrionic.................43%
Paranoia.................43%
Vanity.....................23%
Hypersensitivity.......50%
Female cliche..........43%

Stability results were medium which suggests you are moderately relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic.

Orderliness results were medium which suggests you are moderately organized, hard working, and reliable while still remaining flexible, efficient, and fun.

Extraversion results were moderately high which suggests you are, at times, overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.

trait snapshot:
changeable, in the middle, suspicious, somewhat traditional, dislikes chaos, down to earth, group oriented, practical... you scored in the middle on the overall factors of this test.

Now you know.

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http://deadlights11.deviantart.com/journal/5859824/ Wed, 06 Jul 2005 18:40:24 PDT
_{Image made by =}thegnat


I adopted a cute lil' death fetus
from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!

_{ART STATUS ARTISTS WHO ROCK MY SOCKS}

Please leave a one-word comment that you think best describes
me.

Only be one word. No more.

Then copy & paste this in your journal so that I may leave a word about you.

_{taken from =Black-Jack}

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_{Made by =thegnat}



http://deadlights11.deviantart.com/journal/5673613/ Fri, 17 Jun 2005 05:20:24 PDT
_{Image made by =}thegnat


I adopted a cute lil' death fetus
from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!

_{ART STATUS ARTISTS WHO ROCK MY SOCKS}

May Her Soul Rest In Peace

Those who know what happened don't need a name. In the last twenty-four hours, I've come to the realization that life is so fragile, like an egg without the protective shell, only the thin membrane to hold it together.

Too often it seems, we are able to take the life we have for granted. People are unable to appreciate the simple things: the smell of life after the rain; the feeling you get in your stomach when the person you love says something incredible; the way rough textures can excite your senses.

It's such a pity to me that a person could take their own life. What could have been so bad, as to make them think they had no one to love them, no one to care, and nothing to live for? Life never gets this bad, only pessimism does.

For those of you who are depressed, please just remember: There is someone who always loves you. And if not, then I will . I have enough love to share with everyone. It seems this person's death was not in vain afterall; my apathetic spell seems to have passed.


There's nothing like the feeling of velvet against leather. Like Lao Tsu and dialectical thinking, understand that the world is created of opposites, and because the opposites contradict, they make dynamic tension.

There is nothing not worth living for.

I love you all.

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_{Made by =thegnat
Do me a favour and... http://deadlights11.deviantart.com/journal/5648655/ Tue, 14 Jun 2005 17:13:50 PDT
Image made by =thegnat}


I adopted a cute lil' death fetus
from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!

_{ART STATUS ARTISTS WHO ROCK MY SOCKS}

The Problem:

In Mackie's "Evil and Omnipotence" he outlines the core problem of evil, and claims the position is only applicable to those who believe God is wholly good and omnipotent at the same time. The problem occurs when you consider the contradictions between being wholly good and omnipotent, and having evil in the world. In laymen's terms, how can evil exist in the world if God is wholly good and omnipotent? If this were true, then God would remove all evil.

Considerations:

i) Good is opposed to evil
ii) There are no limits to what an omnipotent being can do.

Mackie suggests that both propositions cannot be true at the same time; therefore God is either not wholly good, or simply there are limits to omnipotence.

Proposed Solutions:

i. Good Cannot Exist Without Evil

It is suggested that evil is necessary to counter balance good. This is a very slim argument because it imposes a limit on what God can or cannot do, claiming that God cannot create good without creating evil at the same time (and accidentally). This conflicts with God's omnipotence.

ii. Evil Is Necessary As A Means To Good

It is also suggested that evil is necessary, not as a counter-balance for good, but as a means for it to exist. This means that good and evil are products of one another, and also implies severe restrictions on God's power, removing the thought that he is "wholly good." A wholly good being would not allow this to happen.

iii. The Universe Is A Better Place With Some Evil In It

This relates to the ideology that 'contrast heightens beauty.' As an alternative interpretation, it is also connected to the "notion of progress"; that perhaps the process of the world trying to overcome the evil by means of goodness is the finer thing to be appreciated, compared to what it would be in goodness was supreme and unchallenged.

iv. Evil Is Due To Human Free Will

This solution derives from the concept that the free will endowed by God on humans is what is the cause of evil. The problem with this solution is that if God has the power to allow humankind free choice, then why give humankind the ability/opportunity to choose evil actions in the first place? 'His failure to avail himself of this possibility is inconsistent with his being both omnipotent and wholly good.'

Another important point is that if God is able to give hum... ]]> ~deadlights11 http://deadlights11.deviantart.com/journal/5574733/ http://deadlights11.deviantart.com/journal/5574733/ Mon, 06 Jun 2005 21:37:36 PDT

<sub>Image made by =thegnat - PS Brush used from [link]

ART STATUS ARTISTS WHO ROCK MY SOCKS</sub>

D-Day
Normandy, France
June 6th, 1944

Remember the veterans, the Americans, the Canadians, the Britons and the other members of the Allied forces. On June 6th, they stormed the beaches of Normandy, coded (US) Utah, Omaha, (CAN/BRIT) Judo, Sword, and Gold, and proceeded to advance into Axis occupied territory, eventually leading to Bastogne and the Battle of the Bulge.. then on to V-E Day.

It's easy to forget the thousands of men who died on the battlefields; some died for pride, for patriotism. Others died because they had no other choice: conscription, money, tradition. Many times, these people were no older then 18, some as young as 16, an yet we live such greedy, consumerist lives that I'm sure many of you didn't even know it was D-Day. I pity you, for you don't know what really matters.

For those of you who remember, I you. Long live the veterans, and may they rest in peace.

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<sub>Do me a favour and... GO HERE!!

Made by =thegnat</sub>

]]> ~deadlights11 http://deadlights11.deviantart.com/journal/5523827/ http://deadlights11.deviantart.com/journal/5523827/ Wed, 01 Jun 2005 17:29:47 PDT

<sub>Image made by =thegnat - PS Brush used from [link]

ART STATUS ARTISTS WHO ROCK MY SOCKS</sub>

♫ ♪ Get out of this place while we still have time ♫ ♪

The Sniff Test.

Example: Dogs live their world according to their noses. To them, the ultimate reality is that which is aquired through the sense of smell; if a dog cannot smell it, it doesn't exist (that was redundant but necessary). Take a dog into a library and say, "Okay boy, go find Nietzsche's Beyond Good and Evil." He will come back to with you a contemplative expression and say, "Nietzsche? Where? Huh?"

Consideration: A dog cannot comprehend the idea of books, knowledge, or any other intangible object because he/she is using the wrong sense.

Discuss: Are humans using the wrong sense when it comes to detecting God?

_{By the way, I'm an atheist, I was just wondering. This was an issue discussed in my philosophy class, and I thought it would make an interesting topic. I haven't had a good, thought-provoking journal in a while.}

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<sub>Do me a favour and... GO HERE!!

Made by =thegnat</sub>

]]> ~deadlights11 http://deadlights11.deviantart.com/journal/5322939/ http://deadlights11.deviantart.com/journal/5322939/ Tue, 10 May 2005 17:38:01 PDT
ART STATUS

ARTISTS WHO ROCK MY SOCKS
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_{Please note that the following entry has been taken from Adbusters volume 11, no. 5 (September/October 2003) and is in no way meant to offend any persons, nation, or political group (minus George Bush). All credit should go to Adbusters}

You need to stay tuned. You are lactose intolerant. Your cholesterole is high. Your calcium is low. your blood pressure is high. You are iron deficient. Your diet is poor. You need to take some pills, you are not happy enough.

Secondly, you are fat. You should go on a diet. Your tits are not big enough. Your tits are too small. Your tits are neither big enough nor small enough. Your ass is too big. You are one of the crowd. You are not very sexy. You have no style. your clothes suck. Your shoes suck. You are too thin.

You are doing it all wrong. You need to stand out. You need to be an individual. Your face is all wrong. You need to know the rules. You need to know secrets. You should try to be yourself. You need to see that change is good. You are fat. You are nothing. One day, you are going to be a star.

What makes you think you have the right to drive around with a ton of metal wrapped around you, the right to twist a tap and get hot water, the right to flick a switch and get your house warmed up?

Why?

July 4th

Because my country has sold its soul to corporate power.

Because consumerism has become our national religion.

Because we've forgotten the true meaning of freedom;

And patriotism now means agreeing with the president.

I pledge to do my duty... and take my country back.



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_{Although I may not be American, this is very powerful. You should listen. I am, in no way, shape, or form, trying to insult or ridicule any person or persons. If you do not understand and are offended by this journal entry, please feel free to note me with your concerns.}

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_{Do me a favour and... GO HERE!!}
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]]> ~deadlights11 http://deadlights11.deviantart.com/journal/5237803/ http://deadlights11.deviantart.com/journal/5237803/ Sun, 01 May 2005 11:43:26 PDT
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Why love, if it hurts so much to lose? For as long as I can remember, love has been an essential ingredient to life. Suffering is also essential though; during existense pain and loss is what brings us to reality, the reality we've always tried to hide. But what can be said for reality? It's subjective, cruel, just as confused as I am?

Most of the time when I write these journals, I speak from a logical point of view, hardly any emotion to my words. Is that because I'm apathetic, or is it because I don't want people to misunderstand me? Does it even matter?

I'd give anything to speak from my heart, but to me my heart is suffering from atrophy. A heart is more than just an organ; it is also a symbol of understanding, honour, love, peacefulness. Complaining is irrelevant.

Sometimes I feel like I just want to die, you know? But the death would be irrelevant as well. At least that's what I'd tell myself, because to make something of my life would mean egoism, self-importance... I'm just too insignificant to really be bothered with.

I don't expect anyone of you to read this, it's more for myself. I needed a way to get these things off my chest, off my mind, out of my ID. Forgive this stupidity (if you actually did read it). ]]> ~deadlights11 http://deadlights11.deviantart.com/journal/5194891/ http://deadlights11.deviantart.com/journal/5194891/ Tue, 26 Apr 2005 13:22:23 PDT ART STATUS

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Latin: Esses est Percipi
English Translation: To be is to be perceived.

What do you see when you close your eyes? Does the world become nonexistent?


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Owner/Co-Founder of:


Member of:
]]> ~deadlights11 http://deadlights11.deviantart.com/journal/5151263/ http://deadlights11.deviantart.com/journal/5151263/ Thu, 21 Apr 2005 17:34:14 PDT ART STATUS

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A major controversial issue that many people have to deal with on a day to day basis is the question of gun consciousness. For some reason or another, people feel safe when they have a weapon, usually a gun, close at hand for protection. However, if guns were illegal, or even better: nonexistent, then this world would be a much better place. The only reason someone feels the need to have a gun, is because they feel threatened by another deranged, media-exaggerated individual who is wielding their own hefty, street modified 9 mm. It’s unfortunate that society has devolved to this very primal level.

Another important aspect is that people feel the need to have what others own. Someone buys a nice, new shiny gun, and automatically their friends have to own their own in order to be seen as ‘masculine’ or ‘cool.’ It’s all very elementary. If people were mature in the first place though, then there wouldn’t be accidental deaths from teenagers and young adults ‘just looking’ at the weapon.

It’s unfortunate to say that while guns are morbid and superfluous in their use, they are fundamentally necessary. Only, though, in measures of security and war. Sometimes a human being will go to great lengths to achieve what he/she wants, and this endless supply of greediness can lead him/her to extreme dangers, and those trying to protect the sought object need arms in order to protect themselves. However guns are not necessarily the only means of ensuring, or at least preventing, occasional theft; Taser Guns could instead be put in their place. Of course, ethical issues come into play, asking redundant questions as to if sending electronically induced bolts through a living being is “cruel and unusual punishment.” What of guns? Shooting a person is ethically superior to merely inhibiting them temporarily? Someone has their morals prioritized ineffectively.

As to the question, “Would I be able to shoot a person?” In the shortest, most easily understood answer: No. Well, perhaps if I had a weapon in my hand and someone was attempting to kill me; but that hypothetical situation is very unlikely to happen because I do not, and never will, own a gun. So if one person was sure enough to take my life, so be it. My views will probably change over time, but as for right now, I have no regrets in my life.

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Member of:
http://deadlights11.deviantart.com/journal/5078417/ Tue, 19 Apr 2005 13:16:15 PDT ART STATUS

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Taking Back Sunday rocks hardcore.

So does Straylight Run.


_{Listen to me damnit!}


Is there a difference between your dreams, and your waking life? I don't think there is, not really. The only difference is that we associate reality with being awake, and unreality with dreaming. But really, it's all interconnected; when we're awake we're sleep-walking, and when we're sleeping we're 'awake-walking.'

The only difference is your mental one. But if dreams could be lucid, if we could control them and manipulate them with our rational realization, wouldn't life be an unstoppable force? We would never really seep back into subconscious arrangements because our so-called reality and our dream fantasies would be one and interwoven into a mass of intellectual humanity. Wouldn't that be fantastic? The options would be endless and absolute all at the same time! Though it might end up bordering the schziotypal personality trait of living in ones fantasies, believing them real and tangible, in the end it is babbling rhetoric versus the inquisitional human curiosity.

Or maybe I'm crazy

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Member of:
]]> ~deadlights11 http://deadlights11.deviantart.com/journal/5051918/ http://deadlights11.deviantart.com/journal/5051918/ Sun, 10 Apr 2005 13:53:06 PDT ART STATUS

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Well, I have to write this gigantic essay (!!) for History, and my choice topic was;

Who's the Bigger Villain: Stalin or Hitler

I'm torn, they're both evil S.O.B.'s and I'm at a loss. I hate making decisions!! So I'm going to post some notes on both of them here, and you let me know what you think O_o;; Got it? It's a cheap replacement for not being a subscriber/unable to post polls

Stalin
Communism

- Lasted far longer in power
- Made the Soviet Union the worlds' second superpower
- Managaed a deep transformation in society (though by violent means)
--> How violent?

Allowed brutal, unrestrained police terrorism (first the Kulaks, then party members, then administrators/ordinary people)
People were punished for deviating the party-line, or just for Stalin's moodiness
Hundreds of party members were shot for their alleged complicity in Kirov's assassination (*Kirov was said to be Stalin's heir, but we all know who killed him --> Stalin himself. Well, Stalin ordered the kill.)
Kirov was the leader of the Leningrad party, and Stalin needed his death to start The Great Terror (1935-1939), as well as purge the Leningrad Party because he doubted their loyalty to the Socialist cause
Executed the top Red Army generals, then killed the ones who condemned them (generals)
Of 85 Corp Commanders, 57 disappeared within a year
Of 100 000 Red Army officers, 60 000 were purged.
Every member of Lenin's Politburo except Stalin and Trotsky were either killed or committed suicide to avoid execution (Trotsky was later killed in Mexico City (1940) by an ice pick to the head). The list includes:

Two vice commiss... ]]> ~deadlights11 http://deadlights11.deviantart.com/journal/4903914/ http://deadlights11.deviantart.com/journal/4903914/ Thu, 24 Mar 2005 20:03:11 PST shouts our imperfections at us daily. I know I'm not perfect, but neither is that skinny model on your magazine cover, whom you airbrush over anyway for flawless skin, unnaturally perfect hair, straight, linear noses, coinciding EYEBALLS!

Yet it amazes me how easily we are force fed the crap on their spoons, and how one is ridiculed for having a voice to which they own purpose. Shall we squash what little dignity you have left? Wouldn't that be FANTASTIC! Oh yes, I live to serve your community and my life would be oh SO perfect (there's that word again) if ONLY I could please you, fulfill your image of what you think I am.

My sarcasm may be unwarranted, idiotic in the least, but this unrandom event stirs from deep, and most probable, psychological foundational problems within each and every person in this world. The only way we can have a voice is to do the utmost extreme, barbeque anyone? Shall I set myself on fire, yes fire, to serve my purpose justice, to give it some kind of weight to which you (the media) will finally give it notice, regard, VALUE!? Funny self harm seems the only way I'll be heard...

...because the media is showing the horrors (Oh the horrors!) of our community, telling us left and right that the world works THIS way, and we have to accept, accept, ACCEPT it! Now don't we?

But I now I tell you, that I don't accept it.

Now what are you gonna do? Last I heard, they dismissed burning people at the stake. Why not banish me? HA. I'm already gone?

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Owner/Co-Founder of:


Proud Member of:
]]> ~deadlights11 http://deadlights11.deviantart.com/journal/4599871/ http://deadlights11.deviantart.com/journal/4599871/ Wed, 16 Feb 2005 16:21:08 PST not pushing anything. This is a big, fat, lie.

Many times I've been asked why I choose to remain an extreme atheist. For a while, I was questioning myself, and slowly I realized I was turning agnostic. I hated that idea, so I burrowed deeper into my conscious and found LOGIC onto which I grapsed like a life-line. If I ever began to think like that again, I would lose my sanity. What little I have left of it.

By talking to me in the chatroom, or online, you'd probably think I was just this happy, possibly even preppy person. Just from the way I type, I suppose? I am the furthest thing from that misconception. Academic progress is one of the most important things to me, higher than even love, as I've learned the hard way. But those details are minute and beside the point.

What is the point anyway? Life is a routine, an unrandom (you know it, Martin) event that is like snow and white noise on a unsignaled channel. Perhaps, as existentialism proposes, life is a meaningless hole, full of nothing. Godless, like the ruthless acts the Americans, the Britons and the Australians (no offense intended) put upon the Iraqis, even the Afgans, not to mention the minorities in their own country (leaning moreso to America). So what, I ask you, is the point? Is the purpose of life, to live a life of purpose?

"The ride requires no explanation, only occupants."

I don't know what to believe with that quote. Do you all remember the quote, or rhetorical question, "If a tree falls in the woods, and there's no one around to hear it, does it make a sound?"

....Well to me, that above quote is very much implying that if a tree falls, it will make no sound if no one hears it. Are we, as human beings, claiming such ignorance? Ignorance, in my opinion, is an uneducated view that is left to ferment, to sit in the acidity of our minds and poison the thoughts built on various mental foundations. I can't believe that some people would be so foolish as to think that if there is no audience to life, then it must not exist. *Shakes head.* Some people...

I do agree, that yes, life does not require an explanation. Why then, do we continue to seek one? What is the point? By trying to find an answer to life, you're only lessening it's nonmeaning anyway. I say "nonmeaning" because even while I believe there is no meaning to life, I'm sure a fair few of you will disagree with me.

That's the problem with religion. It's ignorant. Turns a blind eye to those who do not believe. Yes, I am fully aware that I will more than likely get many hostile opinions from my fellow dA members. But this is what I want. Disagree with me, dammit! Be yourself for once and TAKE A STAND for what you believe in. Stop caring what others think of you. Just. Talk. Back.

I'll be waiting. And responding. ]]> ~deadlights11 http://deadlights11.deviantart.com/journal/4246267/ http://deadlights11.deviantart.com/journal/4246267/ Wed, 05 Jan 2005 13:18:38 PST
Your poetry is your only window into your soul, but no one takes the time to read and encourage your lagging spirits. Time creeps by slowly but surely and as the moonshadows make their way across your life, you feel empty. Nothing can ever fill these holes left by these trespassers, their footprints will forever be indented into your heart.

Your mind tries to forget but you know it is no use, because from this point onward your actions will be marked by past experiences. Left alone to fend for yourself, your weaknesses are truly seen and felt. The mind is holding your soul together by the tattered remains of your being. All you have left is this lonely hopelessness and an empty heart. ]]> ~deadlights11 http://deadlights11.deviantart.com/journal/4237353/ http://deadlights11.deviantart.com/journal/4237353/ Tue, 04 Jan 2005 12:23:01 PST
While being in love can be a beautiful thing, it can also be ugly. Tortured hearts strive to be loved back, but when this is impossible, hurt beyond any recognition is seen and felt. Unfortunately, you cannot make someone love you back, and can only love them in secret, fearing the day when your mask will become transparent and your love will be open for all to see and ridicule.

How can such a wonderful thing also be capable of ugly endings? Words and comfort can only take the heart so far, and in the end it will be the strength of the person that determines if they were right for this world.

All is fair in love and war - many famous quotes can be taken and dedicated to the love games we play, and the wars within our own hearts. How do wars often end - either with peace or death. If one can become at peace with their struggling heart then one can overcome any obstacle that confronts them through the rest of their life.

Often it is thought that the conscience lives within the brain, but many times we refer to our hearts in times of need. Logic can only take you so far, but when the heart is blind to all other suggestion, perhaps our minds and logic will be our only saviour. ]]> ~deadlights11 http://deadlights11.deviantart.com/journal/4161212/ http://deadlights11.deviantart.com/journal/4161212/ Tue, 15 Nov 2005 21:43:40 PST #IdleRPG Frequently Asked Questions

• Idle Now!


• Scores

1. How come no one is talking?

Well, y'see, the point of this room is to not talk. That means, people do not talk.

2. When I enter the room, I'm prompted to read the rules. How important are they, and do I really need to read them?

The point of the idlebot's message when you enter is to warn you that you should read the rules. I doubt highly that `doofsmack would do all that extra coding for no reason. Reading the rules will help to make sure you do not get kicked.

3. When I talk, I get penalized. What the hell is this?

The point of the chat is to be a parody of other role playing game chatrooms. The idea is to not talk, and by talking, you violate the rules and therefore are punished. Don't take it personally.

4. How do I get promoted to Resident or ThePro?

The higher privclasses have requirements that must be met in order for an IdleCop to justify promotion. The logic behind it is thus:
Resident: Idler must be at level 30+
ThePro: Idler must be at level 60+

5. What are the purposes for the privclasses?

The purpose of the privclass is to ensure order and organization within the chat. More dedicated members will be promoted according, whereas one-time entrants will not be promoted. The privclasses in #IdleRPG are not meant to suggest that other members are superior, they're just a fun way to showcase dedication.

6. I typed a few lines and was kicked by an IdleCop (operator). Why did this happen? Does nobody love me?

I'm sure the IdleCop was doing their job and could justify the kick easily. Usually the reasons for kicking will be placed beside the kick command. Here are a few reasons why someone may be kicked:

- talking repeatedly
- spamming
- flooding
- talking
- insulting
- obvious disregard for the rules
- talking

7. I've been idling a long time and am level 30 or above. Why haven't I been promoted yet?

There are many, many people who level up every day, and the IdleCops aren't always able to keep up with the demand. Usually, the high-scores table is checked once a day and promotions occur then, but sometimes it is forgotten. If you still haven't been promoted at level 35+, you should contact an IdleCop (=deadlights11, =twexler, or `doofsmack are the most active) with a link to your highscores page.

8. Why am I banned?

The easiest answer is that you probably disregarded the rules. If you did not know the rules, and wish to continue idling, you should contact an IdleCop (operator) through notes and discuss the possibility of becoming unbanned.

9. I don't understand the rules. What are they?

"IdleRPG is like a normal RPG... except different. All you have to do is idle in #IdleRPG, and you'll gain levels. If you talk (not idling), you'll have time added to your levelup timer."

This means that everytime you talk in the room, the idlebot will penalize you and time will be added to the countdown that works toward your leveling up to the next level.

10. The idlebot is not in the room. What's going on?

Sometimes, due to `doofsmack's internet connection, the idlebot goes down and talking in temporarily allowed. Please be reminded that #IdleRPG is still a chatroom and profanity, racism and discrimination will not be tolerated and could result in a ban or a kick from the room.
Note: When the idlebot is not in the room, you will not be penalized for talking, so feel free to use the limited time to get to know your fellow idlers.

11. It doesn't seem like any operators are actively watch... ]]> ~deadlights11