http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:deadnurmind&section=today deviantART RSS for by:deadnurmind en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Thu, 17 Dec 2009 17:10:46 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/27224234/ http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/27224234/ Sat, 03 Oct 2009 20:51:19 PDT


***sept 15th 2009***
I do believe the word complicated is the only word I can put there. I am at a cross road in my life and more often than not I seem to be walking in cirles. And I am more than a little lost at the moment. I keep looking for a sign or something to show me where it is that I am suppost to be going but it feels as though I am looking through a fog. Nothing I do seems to feel right anymore and I have gotten myself so lost that I fear lossing myself before I find my way back to the beaten path. I want so badly to just be happy but I dont even know how to do that anymore. I feel that somedays I know what I am supposed to be doing but it never stays around long enough for me to be certain. Perhaps I am just second guessing myself too many times and I need to follow my instincts. I just dont know anymore.
On top of everything else I am so sick of being broke. I havent had a customer in a month and it is really starting to eat away at my mind. The longer it takes to get someone in here for work the more I think about quitting. I know you dont want to hear that, but its true. I am almost ready to give up on those dreams simply because they just seem too far out of reach. Dont get me wrong okay, I love what we do but..... Its getting harder to hold on to faith when it seems to be slipping between my fingers I have pinched pennies for as long as I can remember and damnit for once it would be nice not to have to live paycheck to paycheck. I would like to actually be able to go do something, or shop for clothing, buy shoes for my guys because they are litterally walking out of the ones they are wearing. I dont even have a pair of pants that will fit to keep me warm while the weather cools off. My son only has one pair that fits! One!! I cant even afford to go visit my family for the holidays. I'm just thankful that I have food on my table and that I can get all the bills paid, but unfortunately that is it. I cant even afford body wash, and I am quickly running out of toilet paper. I feel like I am at my wits end. I feel like I am failing my family because I cant give them more than what we have. I need a better car, my house is falling apart right under my feet(litterally) and I cant even afford to wash my hair anymore. It is eatting me up inside.

~Please God Help me!~

]]> ~deadnurmind http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/24951463/ http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/24951463/ Thu, 09 Jul 2009 12:44:49 PDT
I thought I would just add a few more words here while I was submitting a new poem. Anyways, Enjoy my works.

****MAY 25th*****
I have decided to start writting again. I have finally found my muse (although it happens to be very far away at the moment)I have finally found the poems and songs in my heart again and am going to attempt to put them on paper and add them to so keep an eye out for more "words"

]]> ~deadnurmind http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/22206336/ http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/22206336/ Fri, 02 Jan 2009 06:26:50 PST I have come to the realization that I should really stop drinking. Epsecially around certain people (who will remain nameless for the sake of them and myself) Everytime I have a drink around "said persons" I end up having very strange dreams. Which would be okay but they are starting to freak me out just a little bit.

The worse part is that my writers block is keeping me from making anything out of it but giberous. (sp?) And it makes it just that much more frustrating.


So the lesson here is: No drinking! lol



***EDIT* THis is time 3 lets see if the pattern repeats itself tonight. BTW: Happy new Years.

Well Thank goodness lack of sleep is not conducive of dreaming. New Years eve consisted of Shots Fireworks and staying up till 4 am talking about just about everything. I really enjoyed it.


For those of you wondering "yes I have a new years Resolution" and NO I am not telling you what it is... yet. lol

]]> ~deadnurmind http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/22045746/ http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/22045746/ Thu, 18 Dec 2008 08:45:06 PST ~deadnurmind http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/21994566/ http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/21994566/ Mon, 15 Dec 2008 09:45:39 PST


*Pika-la-Cynique

And

~AsheRhyder



Roomates and Girls Next Door!!


Best comics ever. Everyone should check them out!

]]> ~deadnurmind http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/21716437/ http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/21716437/ Fri, 28 Nov 2008 15:02:42 PST s So if there are any of them that you would like to see kept on here you better Them ASAP.

I have already deleted over 200 of them and still have a ton more to go!

The only one's I am not deleting is my poems. I am not sure I still have H.C. of them around here.

]]> ~deadnurmind http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/21288999/ http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/21288999/ Fri, 21 Nov 2008 13:27:19 PST

On that note. I dont know how much I am going to be doing on dA any more. It just isnt doing it for me any more. *shrugs* I dunno!

]]> ~deadnurmind http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/19446524/ http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/19446524/ Thu, 17 Jul 2008 13:09:29 PDT


See you all soon.

]]> ~deadnurmind http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/18643168/ http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/18643168/ Tue, 03 Jun 2008 11:03:58 PDT
]]> ~deadnurmind http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/17761683/ http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/17761683/ Thu, 22 Jan 2009 10:44:00 PST [link] It took me a little longer than I hoped but at least I should look pretty good in my bikini at the pool this summer. All I need now is to tone it up just a little. Keep watch I promise there will be some kick-@$$ pictures coming up soon.



May 28

UPDATE------------>[link]


May 21
I have fallen off the horse so to speak. I got sick and then I got lazy which is how I got in this shape in the first place. I have gained back 3 lbs but I am up and active once again and hope to have good news in the next couple of weeks. Keep praying for me!


April 9
An Update: ----------------> [link]



I have finally set a goal that I am working really hard to achieve. I am working on getting down to 160 lbs by the 4th of july. That is a little over a lb a week. I can handle that. I hope!

Pray for me and for my friend Bay because she is working really hard to do the same thing that I am. Wish us both luck. I will let you know how it turns out!

]]> ~deadnurmind http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/17650572/ http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/17650572/ Wed, 02 Apr 2008 12:14:08 PDT

I thought of a idea for some "rainey day" photos but I think the neightbors wouldnt be happy about me prancing around ... well.. youve seen my photos. lol

]]> ~deadnurmind http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/17623747/ http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/17623747/ Tue, 01 Apr 2008 07:06:44 PDT


I LOVE THE NEW AVATAR!! PUNKS!!! lol



]]> ~deadnurmind http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/17509043/ http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/17509043/ Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:39:39 PDT







BOY IS IT GOOD TO BE HOME!!!

]]> ~deadnurmind http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/17252355/ http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/17252355/ Sun, 09 Mar 2008 08:43:30 PDT My Son and little dog are going with me. I cant wait. My grandmother is ever taking vacation time so that she can spend as much time as possible with me and my little one. YAY!! I am so excited. I just cant wait. I have already made my list of stuff that needs to be packed up. I am about ready to start packing even though it is still a week away. *happy dance* lol



DAD... BRO... I LOVE YOU GUYS!!

]]> ~deadnurmind http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/16689953/ http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/16689953/ Sat, 02 Feb 2008 12:06:42 PST



[link]

]]> ~deadnurmind http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/16486935/ http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/16486935/ Sun, 20 Jan 2008 08:50:08 PST I finally found my muse. I am working on a short story right now. A preview of it is in my gallery labeled Chapter One



OH BTW: I have a new fractal program that I am using. YAY-NESS again! I couldnt get Apophysis to do what I wanted anymore. I am working with a different one right now. I have only gotten about 1/8 of the way through the tutorials but I dont think I am doing to bad!

]]> ~deadnurmind http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/16240112/ http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/16240112/ Mon, 14 Jan 2008 19:05:27 PST Jan 14,2008
Walks havent helped any. Still cant find my muse. Maybe a dream? Sleep sounds good. I dont know any more. Maybe it will come back to me or maybe I have lost it for good. Oh well *goes out to find my muse again* "Here muse!! Where are you?!?"




Jan 12,2008
I am looking for inspiration. I want to write about something so badly but I cant seem to find the words. I am going to try going for a walk to see if there is something out there that can get the creative juices flowing again but.. I dont garentee tha I can find anything.


Jan 3,2008
An ability I thought would never be lost to me seems to have vanished into thin air. I have written some pretty interesting piece of work on my dA page but now I cant seem to find my muses any more. Poetry and Prose are gone. I am unable to do them any more. What is wrong with me?

]]> ~deadnurmind http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/16190085/ http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/16190085/ Mon, 31 Dec 2007 17:29:30 PST
A lot of things have happened over the past 365 days.

In feb. I moved 4 hrs away from the only home I have ever known all the way to Oklahoma. It was a scarey trip for me. I didnt have any idea what awaited me up here. I moved into a TINY *curses in severl unknown languages* little apartment.

Shortly after we (my son and I) moved up here m husband decided to bring home a new addition to our family. Our one of a kind Jack Russel/Weinie mix Named Scooter. I wasnt sure how that was going to work out since he was a stray and I had a budger but they got a long better than I could have ever hoped.

I met some really incredible people after moving up here too. Chris's work family is the best bunch of people I have ever known. They have become my family away from family. I have felt more love up here than I have in a long time. They accepted me and my son like we had been in there family all my life. I feel so blessed to have these people in my life. They are all I could have ever asked for in the way of friends.

Towards the end of this year my newest addition was born. My Sugar dog. We think she is a Rat/Chi She is absolutely insane but I love her to death. My family feels complete now that I have these 4 in my life.

My son had his second birthday up here with out extended family. They gave him more than I was able to and I was thankful that they were here to give it to him.

Christmas rolled around and yet again I was surpised by the love that was give to my family. My boy got more toys that I could have imagined giving him.

This year has been amazing and I know that next year will be even better than this one!!

]]> ~deadnurmind http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/16083826/ http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/16083826/ Mon, 24 Dec 2007 20:23:38 PST

***I miss my family! I really do guys. I wish you guys could come see us.

]]> ~deadnurmind http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/15991113/ http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/15991113/ Tue, 18 Dec 2007 18:15:46 PST

I BELIEVE IN GOD BECAUSE HE IS AMAZING!!!

]]> ~deadnurmind http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/15674818/ http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/15674818/ Mon, 26 Nov 2007 05:56:09 PST Needless to say I was pretty shocked when i got back the the car and found all of the doors locked. My Hubby had come out to find me standing beside the car looking very bewildered and went back in to see if they had anything in the welcome center to help get the locks popped. Luckily they actually had a wire that we used. We couldnt get it through the window like you see in all the movies because the wire kept bending and wouldnt reach the buttons. Well I was standing at the back window trying to coach my son to pull up on the lock or roll down his window. ( He had rolled his window down several times while we were on the road. He just through his foot up on the button.) It took him forever but he managed to crack the window just enough that my hubby could get the wire down to the button and roll the window down the rest of the way. By that time I was half froze (being that it had droped to around 36 degrees outside) and was ready to go home. Well since we were off from out normal trail becuase of visiting my friend we decided to swing by my hubby's Aunts house. He hadnt seen her in 5 years and ALOT has changed since then. Well we finally made it home by about 7 and I was worn out. We had been on the road since 12:30ish and all I wanted was a shower and to throw myself into bed. It was nice to be in my own bed again.

]]> ~deadnurmind http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/15372430/ http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/15372430/ Mon, 05 Nov 2007 06:20:47 PST
]]> ~deadnurmind http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/15313490/ http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/15313490/ Thu, 01 Nov 2007 08:53:29 PDT


***Cant wait for turkey day***

]]> ~deadnurmind http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/15172583/ http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/15172583/ Mon, 22 Oct 2007 12:15:33 PDT

Oh and my new "biddy bitch" > I am not to happy about the pup either. She wont go outside to crap!! It has gotten to cold for her and she will wait to crap in the house no matter how long I leave her outside.

Not to mention that fact that my husband is still working 7 days a week.


Oh wel...... *Rant over*

]]> ~deadnurmind http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/15119036/ http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/15119036/ Thu, 18 Oct 2007 17:31:48 PDT I..... *shiffles* have never carved a pumpkin!


*looks away all ashamed like* lol


This year my husband and I got a couple of pumpkins and I am gonna have some picture up here soon of he wonderful mess we are going to make,, YAY FIRST PUMPKIN CARVINGS!!! YAY!!

]]> ~deadnurmind http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/15102375/ http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/15102375/ Wed, 17 Oct 2007 13:56:58 PDT I did it.. Some how I did it..


I have reached 500 deviations.



Hee hee hee


I just noticed that and thought I would share.

]]> ~deadnurmind http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/14984474/ http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/14984474/ Tue, 09 Oct 2007 12:03:27 PDT


I am frustrated. I hate the fact that I have to borrow money from my family just so I can come visit with them. I wish I could save a little money and not have to keep borrowing it from the boss man. Things are hectic around here and.... I am tired. I will figure things out.

]]> ~deadnurmind http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/14856601/ http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/14856601/ Sun, 30 Sep 2007 13:20:20 PDT
]]> ~deadnurmind http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/14380493/ http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/14380493/ Tue, 28 Aug 2007 12:59:06 PDT


I have been taking these pictures to that even if I cant loose the weight I have put on I can still feel good about the way I look!!

]]> ~deadnurmind http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/14129443/ http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/14129443/ Mon, 20 Aug 2007 09:03:07 PDT

Dear Santa,
This is my Christmas list. I am starting early this year because there are lots of things I NEED!!

FIRST on my list my hubby and I need new PJ bottoms. All of ours now have holes in them. We wear a size Men's LARGE and arent really picky on the colors as long as they have room to move in them without having them jump up your butt!

SECOND: Scooter needs a sweater. He gets so cold in the winter that he doesnt wanna go outside. He is about 20 lbs and looks good in green

THIRD the budgie can always use more cloths. He is running low on pants that fit him. Most of them are too short in the legs. He wears a 2T-3T as long as they are long!!

[link] <----- I really want one of these too!

A million dollars and to not have to pay over half of it away in taxes

A house of my own. I am tired of living in apartments. There are too many people around and I happen to be really anti-social.

Did I mention money yet? I hate not being able to save any money. As soon as we get to a point there we are stable and can start saving money again something comes up. Can you keep those somethings away... for like... EVER!!! I would really appericiate that.

Lower prices on stuff. Everything we need is going up in price. Milk, gas for the car, dog food.. Why is it that when minum wage was raised the price of everything went up too? I thought they were supposed to raise the minium wage to make life a little easier? (or at least so they could take more taxes out of each hard earned paycheck) But what is the point to raise the wages if everything else is still going up in cost too? *sighs*

Okay well maybe I cant think of alot of stuff right now but I promis I will get back to you ASAP with the rest of the list!

THANK YOU AGAIN!!!


p.s. Tell Rudolph I said HI



[link]

]]> ~deadnurmind http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/14041040/ http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/14041040/ Wed, 08 Aug 2007 12:50:41 PDT [link]


Well I decided to hope on the bike and take it for a ride around the elementary school last night. I forgot just how much fun bike riding can be. It isnt be best bike in the world but it beats walking anyday. I took off and before I got to the first stop sign my little dog had caught up to me and looked at me like "Where are we going momma?" He really enjoyed it. We made one lap around the school playground and he ran with me the whole time. It really made me feel good. I love my dog.
The only bad part is that when I woke up this morning EVERYTHING hurt. And there are bruises... where there should NEVER be brusing. I had a kid...!!! and that was the last time THAT area ever hurt this much! I am probably NOT going to do it again tonight.. Maybe tomorrow!

]]> ~deadnurmind http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/14034041/ http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/14034041/ Sun, 05 Aug 2007 20:04:02 PDT

[link]

]]> ~deadnurmind http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/13911124/ http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/13911124/ Mon, 30 Jul 2007 07:26:37 PDT

BTW: My house smells like popcorn this morning.

Yesterday we(the 3 of us) went to eat dinner at My husband's ex girlfriend(from highschool)'s house. It was interesting to say the least. She is cool though. And a good cook too.

Basicly.. better day that last couple of them.




*~*~*~*~*~*~*~JUL 28*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Just leave me alone today. I have gotten up to early after doing to much yesterday. It is only 9:45am and I have already managed to hurt myself pretty badly. I stappled two of my fingers to a notebook! I am in a fairly bad mood and dont really wanna talk about it!

]]> ~deadnurmind http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/13753959/ http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/13753959/ Mon, 23 Jul 2007 13:36:29 PDT
My hubby came and got me last friday. I was so happy to see him! I missed him and my Scootie-dog very much. Our son was so happy to see his Daddy again. He couldnt hardly believe he was real. He kept sitting up on his dad's shoulder and looking him in the eyes to make sure that he was real. I had a wonderful time visiting with my dad and bro. In fact I was kinda sad to go. I really did enjoy my time down there. It was a lot of fun. Well I am back home now and I dont think I've slept that good in a long time.

Anyways.. Yeah.. YAY!!



oh btw: In case anyone is interested I have an Ebay account also under "deadnurmind" Check it out if you are interested. This is what I am currently selling... [link] Enjoy!


I SOLD MY DRESS!! YAY.... I made $20 off the dress... YEAH YEAH YEAH!

]]> ~deadnurmind http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/13651384/ http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/13651384/ Sat, 07 Jul 2007 20:44:29 PDT Not much I can do about it now. I guess I am just not that entertaining any more.

I am still enjoying getting to spend time with my brother and Dad though.
****Unfortunately my son is still awake and it is nearly 11!****

Anyways.. Nothing else is new.. Still leaving Next Friday!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~July 7th~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It is so great to be visiting with my Dad and brother. I havent seen either of them since Easter and I was starting to miss them. My budgie enjoys spending time with his Uncle. I am so excited. I get to see my Aunt L and Unc. D tomorrow! Yay! It makes me happy to get to see my family. I enjoy being here alot.

However, my sweetheart could not join me. I am going to be down here for about a week and he couldnt take that time off of work. I do miss him terribly. But at least I get to talk to him every day on the phone and I know that he misses me too.

Well that should be all the new info I have sooo.... BYE!

]]> ~deadnurmind http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/13287685/ http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/13287685/ Tue, 19 Jun 2007 12:21:21 PDT YAY NEW CAMERA!!!!

~~June 10th~~~~~~
We have finally gotten Internet back at our little apartment. I havent had internet in months. YAY!!!

We are all doing well. Budger has gotten sick once ((in his whole little life)) with a really bad cold but he got over it with some TLC and vitamins. He is almost 3 feet tall and looks more like a 3 year old than a one and a half year old. He talks. He understands more words than he can say but I know he is a smart little kid.

My hubby is a hard working man. He has had one day off in the past month and a half, unfortunatley that was the same day as his family reunion and he still didnt get to sleep in last. He is doing good though. Tired and Sweatie but still good.

As for me: I have started on a diet. I really want to lose a few of these extra pounds. It is not going to be easy though. I LOVE FOOD. I do a lot of walking (since I dont have a d.l.). But the good news is that everything is within walking distance, including Seth's dr.'s office. It is a nice little town that I live in. I love it up here. I dont hardly know anybody ((other than family)) and I like it that way. At home I couldnt hardly step out my door without seeing someone I knew from school. It is nice.

Well Since we have internet again I will be on dA more often. I dont do a lot of pictures anymore. I lost my camera while traveling and all I have now is a dinky little camera phone. I dont even have time to do photomanips any more. I have dishes and laundry to do. But I will be around. I still have messenger and email so those of you who know them are welcome to keep in touch.

]]> ~deadnurmind http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/11688871/ http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/11688871/ Wed, 07 Mar 2007 10:39:03 PST
Newest addition. We now have a dog. He is a Jack Russel ((I think)) and his name is Scooter. My hubby brought him home from work. He had seen the dog running across the busy street that my hubby's shop is on and he picked him up and brought him home. He is actually a good little dog. Good with the kid, house broken, good car dog.. small.. he's a good dog for us!

Hubby works just 2 streets up from our work. We love it. I actually am able to walk and visit him at work. It is neat.

I am happy here!

]]> ~deadnurmind http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/11493443/ http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/11493443/ Fri, 19 Jan 2007 12:17:08 PST Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

Lyrics by: James Blunt

]]> ~deadnurmind http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/11219248/ http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/11219248/ Sun, 04 Feb 2007 19:16:24 PST We are NOT having a memorial. We are greiving as a family and honoring her in our own ways.
So far I still dont know C.O.D. As soon as I know I will update this journal.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
January 13th
For those of you who live near me and know me well. My mother's obituary comes out in the local paper tomorrow morning. So far that is the only update that I have. I dont have any news on her memorial or even the cause yet. As soon as I know something I will updat my journal.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
December 31, 2006
As of right now I still know nothing about what happened to my mother. We are going to have her cremated and have a memorial for her but I dont know when yet. My dad is still making phone calls and seeing what he needs to do.

I would like to send a Thank you out to everyone that has supported my family through this hour of need. It has been hard on all of us but it is good to know that we are not along. THANK YOU






*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I woke up this morning to the news that my mother died in her sleep last night. She was 40 years old and in bad shape.

Looking back on the last few days there are so many things that I wish i had done differently. I wish I could have told her that I loved her one last time. I wish I had hugged her just one more time. The last conversation we had wasnt a pleasant one and it hurts me badly that it wasnt "i love you"

For all of you that have someone you love dearly, dont leave things on a bad note. You never know if its going to be your last conversation.

I love my Mother so much. She has made me the person that I am today.

I love you mom!

]]> ~deadnurmind http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/11026305/ http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/11026305/ Fri, 15 Dec 2006 19:52:13 PST

I just hope he gets us a house very soon!





I LOVE YOU LOTS MY G.H.


Well the good news is that living here isnt as bad as I thought it would be. I at least get a home-made Italian cream cake.. It was soo good.

]]> ~deadnurmind http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/10782151/ http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/10782151/ Sun, 03 Dec 2006 07:08:05 PST

That is pretty much all that is new sooo... Bye!

]]> ~deadnurmind http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/10693082/ http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/10693082/ Sat, 11 Nov 2006 18:21:52 PST
*sighs* The chances are slim though.

Well the roommates have moved out.. Can't stand not living in a motel.. or some kind of crock like that.

Phone and Gas are now in MY name and.... My hubby is currently unemployed

I need help.. and lots of it!

Anyone wanna donate... something.. It would be greatly appriciated!

Just wish me luck!! please!

]]> ~deadnurmind http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/10378747/ http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/10378747/ Mon, 30 Oct 2006 19:21:40 PST
My pirate costumes are coming along great... Pictures will be on teh compy asap.

Oh I found pirates of the caribbean...... techno version... hee hee hee

]]> ~deadnurmind http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/9967456/ http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/9967456/ Mon, 04 Sep 2006 16:36:21 PDT ~deadnurmind http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/9838760/ http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/9838760/ Sat, 26 Aug 2006 17:01:25 PDT Well on top of being broke something has kicked my ass. I have been sick for 2 days and Have felt like shit! I have had a temp up to 103.1 and have puked twice now. It has not been fun. I havent been able to cuddle with my kiddo cause I dont want him to get sick.


Luckily I have the worlds greatest hubby and he has been taking good care of me. He has gotten my temp down and even made me food. He is soooo good to me. Taking care of me and the kiddo(s) I love him lots!!!!









Aug 24th
We are soo freaking broke!
My baby and I are trying to find a new place to live.. we are so broke that we are gonna have to start selling off most of our stuff because we dont have the money just to live any more. Much less the rest of the stuff that we HAVE TO DO... I am having to go back to work because my hubby cant. No one wants to hire a man with a hernia. And he cant get it fixed until december-ish... I am not looking forward to going back to work but I got to do what I got to do. *sighs*

For those of you who know me and where I live.. I am having a moving sale next weekend... In case you are interested in any of my stuff. I am getting rid of A LOT!!!


Too much to do and not near enough money to do it with..


If anyone out there wants to support a dirt poor artist... HERE I AM!!

Donations will be taken in the form of cash, check, or money order. Thank you! ]]> ~deadnurmind http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/9717750/ http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/9717750/ Wed, 23 Aug 2006 05:39:38 PDT




I GOT MY DRESS!!

I dont like it!




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well here is the good news.. I'M MOVING!!
The better news: IT"S NOT TO FLORIDA!!

I am going to try to find a place and a job down in Athens.. hee hee hee





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Click this link to help feed big cats: [link] ]]> ~deadnurmind http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/9442358/ http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/9442358/ Sun, 30 Jul 2006 21:28:55 PDT


THE SKY IS FALLING!! EVERYBODY!! QUICK!! OUTSIDE!!


random ness!!

the magic number is 141

btw: how many people actually pay attention to my journal? Just out of curiousity here. cuz....... I WANNA KNOW!!


s to Animal I've become by 3 days grace


I love little face.. Emoticons are so much fun!


okay... bye




********************************************************
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I just decorated a very neat looking blanket for my son.. As soon as it dries I am going to scan it ((since at the moment I DO NOT have a digi cam with me)) and post it on here. I am so excited about it.


I took one of his receiving blankets and painted on it with fabric pants.. I am gonna post the image the best I can since.. I dont have a camera at the moment.


@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
________________________________________ _____________________








++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



sex is good! ]]> ~deadnurmind http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/8656191/ http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/8656191/ Tue, 02 May 2006 20:02:10 PDT I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you
Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true

Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

Now I'm just rolling home
Into my lover's arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you. by Rascal Flatts!

I have never been happier in my life! NEVER NEVER NEVER
My love ~ghostedheart and I are celebrating our 1yr anv today.. actually we celebrated it on sunday but going to Scarby!
[link] <--- seen here

We had so much fun there and we are going to try to go back at least one more time this season. I am SOOO in love!! ]]> ~deadnurmind http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/8349746/ http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/8349746/ Mon, 03 Apr 2006 03:25:08 PDT *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I really think my kiddos are gonna get a kick out of it. My hubby's kids that is. They will becoming over this weekend and I think instead of finding places for them to sleep around the house I think we are just gonna fling them outside.. except for the littlest ones of course. Budgie and his 4 year old will have to sleep inside. Too my activity. Kenz would be up all night playing and not let anyone else get some sleep. But it'll be okay. I'll figure out something neat for her to do inside before she goes to bed.. Like a bubble bath and maybe paint her nails. I dont know we'll see.
*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*
Well I dont know yet... but I may just spend the rest of the week out there. I loved it. I really really did. ]]> ~deadnurmind http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/8238193/ http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/8238193/ Mon, 08 May 2006 22:11:19 PDT *~*~*~~~~~~~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~***
Well I am still working on cleaning up my gallery. I have gotten rid of a lot of things that I dont want any more. EVER!! And I still have a few pics to move. I am moving all of my pet pictures (( all animals)) to my club page.

[link] <--- Seen here

In case you still want to look at them. ]]> ~deadnurmind http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/8175347/ http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/8175347/ Sat, 18 Mar 2006 09:19:30 PST Well here is an update. Because of schedules being the way that they are we have had to push the date back until may. We are trying to aim for the 13th or so but It'll just have to wait and seee if my baby's work schedule and Nate's kiddos schedules will work for us. I am still very very excited!!
~~~~~~~~~March16~~~~~~~~~
It is about damn time but I am finally going to have one of my old friends come and visit me. I am so excited. My friend Nate.. aka ~was-the-wolf I cant wait to actually meet him face to face. He and I have been friends for over 2 years now and I have only ever talked to him on the phone 2 and never actually seen him in person. Thanks to my trust boyfriend ~ghostedheart And the fact that Nate finally has time to come see me.... HE GETS TO COME SEE ME! I am so excited. It has been a long time coming and ... yay! hee hee hee It is going to be a little scarey though. I mean he and my b/f are so much alike.. I'm gonna be out numbered! Oh the fun we are going to have J/k I can't wait! ]]> ~deadnurmind http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/8066645/ http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/8066645/ Sat, 04 Mar 2006 15:47:52 PST
PANDA AND ROGUE YOU TWO BITCHES BETTER COME VISIT ME.. DONT MAKE ME KICK YOUR ASSED!! LOVE YA! ]]> ~deadnurmind http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/7836151/ http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/7836151/ Wed, 08 Feb 2006 09:45:36 PST
Valentines day last year, I was thinking about a man that had stolen my heart. He is the sweetest, gentlest, kindest, most loving man I have ever met. His eyes burned like blue fire especailly when he looks at me. I fell in love a year ago and have been ever since. I was not able to spend valentines day with him last year but this year is different. He is in my arms and that is where he is going to stay!

This is the note I found in my dA box when I got up on V-day morning a year ago... I still have it because it meant so much to me...


please forgive me for not sending a card or white roses like i wanted to but it was not possible. i saw the card i wanted to send you. but i cant remember exactly what it said but this is my attemt at telling you.


to my love on this day of valentines. my heart is full of love for you. you are the only one for me even though we are apart your the only one in my heart. there are no words which can explain the pain you have healed. all i can say is i love you more than you know. and soon i hope to show , that you are the one for me, and soon all will know, but until that time i will keep you close every waking hour, and will not rest until we are together forever.


yours forever

ghost


p.s. I LOVE YOU


P.S.S ok i totaly forgot what the card said and i made this up from my heart to you .


My dearest ~ghostedheart I will love you until god pulls the last breath from my lungs. Until The sun refuses to warm the earth every morning. I will love you until time itself no longer exises. You are my one and only and I swear here and now that I will love you forever!! ]]> ~deadnurmind http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/7517213/ http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/7517213/ Thu, 05 Jan 2006 12:25:03 PST










lylmgk



??????&^&^%R^#%$@%$#@%$%#^%$^#@%$#&#@%$#!@$#$#%$#%$#!%$#@^%$#^%$#$&^%$&^^$%#^%$#@$%@!%$#!^$#&^$#&$$&^#&%$#$#@%$!%$#@^%$#&%$&*%$&%$*%$&$^%#^%$#@$%#!%#@!%$#@^%$#&^%$*&%^$&^%#^%$@$%#!@$%#!@^%$#&^%$&*%$*%$*$*$*%$*^%#&%$@^#!@^$#@^%&$#&^%$#*^%$#*%$*^$%


there i think that covers all the bad words you will say when you find this




lylmgk very much ]]> ~deadnurmind http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/7337693/ http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/7337693/ Sat, 17 Dec 2005 15:05:09 PST
We figured out that the blood was coming from the cracks and sore on my nipples. So i have been pumping and bottle feeding him. He finally messed his diaper this morning.. but not since. The doctor said not to worry unless he went 3+ days with out a dirty diaper. He is doing better and there-fore so am i... thank you all! ]]> ~deadnurmind http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/7320973/ http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/7320973/ Thu, 15 Dec 2005 17:14:12 PST ~deadnurmind http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/7293684/ http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/7293684/ Mon, 12 Dec 2005 16:47:56 PST I am still loving it despite the fact that I never get more than 4 hrs of sleep at a time and most of the time I want to strangle the little... *$#(#$*#( Especailly when he chomps down on my nipple.. lol..

No it's great really!! ]]> ~deadnurmind http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/7176237/ http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/7176237/ Wed, 30 Nov 2005 13:01:52 PST I forgot to mention.. He is now 9lbs 11.5 ounces and 22 &1/4 inches... he's getting so big



I took the Munchkin to his doctors appointment today and everything is good and normal.. *is scared* lol..Me have a normal kid lol. Neways. He is doing good. I am doing better. I am getting used to this sleep change thing and at the moment I dont want to rip his little head off for staying up at odd hrs in the middle of the night. But I think me and the hubby will survive. Speaking of we are looking for a new place. We are going to try and find one and be move by Febuary. Maybe.. We'll see if things work out that way. I'd like to start work back and see how that goes before I move any where. Not to mention I'm also planning on going back to school.. Hopefully this Aug. NE ways.. I'll keep you up to date on that as things progress. Since the kiddo is asleep that is where I am going.. Night all.. lol.



btw: Check this out: It's the Munchkins dA site. Momma's gonna display his artwork on here... you know.. when he is old enough to draw. ]]> ~deadnurmind http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/7116156/ http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/7116156/ Tue, 22 Nov 2005 16:29:30 PST Lack of sleep is causing my brain to malfunction....I am starting to hear things... things that arent there. I dont get any more than about 3 hrs of sleep at a time.. and it is taking its toll................. I um... er... *passes back out* ]]> ~deadnurmind http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/7027382/ http://deadnurmind.deviantart.com/journal/7027382/ Sat, 12 Nov 2005 13:14:02 PST
SETH DANIEL
born:November 8th 2005 at 5:18pm
Weight: 8.1 lbs
Length. 20&7/8 inches

I was in labor for only 6 hrs.. would you believe it.. m first kid and that was all it took. *thanks god* And I didnt even have an epidural. Seriously. *smiles* I am so happy that my son is here. He is strong and healthy and as soon as I am feeling up to it I will post some really great pictures of me and him on here. ((Panda has some posted already if you want to see him ~TrulythePanda ))

I am still getting the hang of breast feeding but it i getting easier by the day. My milk has already dropped and Seth is loving it.. lol I am only on here long eonugh to let you know that he's here and that I survived. I am still really tired and since he is sleeping that is what I am going to do too. I will post things soon. ]]> ~deadnurmind