http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:depictionofintimacy&section=today deviantART RSS for by:depictionofintimacy en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Thu, 03 Dec 2009 10:53:25 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://depictionofintimacy.deviantart.com/journal/10640457/ http://depictionofintimacy.deviantart.com/journal/10640457/ Mon, 06 Nov 2006 18:42:00 PST wassupwassup.

tomorrow i'm off to serve soup and dinner to those in the beautiful city of san francisco.

i hear my father moving about upstairs.
the floorboards (that serve as ceiling down here) groan to me under his girth.

i may not have a boyfriend
may not be in love.
but.
i do have someone i would love to have as a boyfriend.
someone i care deeply for.
someone i want to take care of make everything ok for.
someone who claims to like me back.
and you know what-
i wouldn't trade this feeling for anything.
titles like "girlfriend" and "boyfriend" don't mean anything
it doesn't secure a relationship
mean you are more compatible
signify a greater depth to the relationship.
i haven't genuinely liked someone since i was fourteen.
long
time
ago
it seems.
i haven't felt this way-this particular way- ever.
i hate worrying about him,
but at the same time,
i love it.
i don't like what he's doing, but i like that i can worry about him.
and he knows it.
i hate feeling like i'm being annoying, pushing myself on him, apologizing and feeling stupid, having friends calling me "gay" for what i say when i talk about him..
and then i can't help myself- i love it.
i love saying i'm sorry and hearing him say its ok ("nah its cool babe.")
i love getting close to him and catching him glance my way.
i love when he tells me to shut up i'm not being stupid. hearing him say that he likes me ("i care bout you.")
i like that my friends can see me feeling this way and listen to my stupid recollections of our past encounter.

i'm not sure how you define love.
if its a feeling even.
if it takes time even.

but what i'm feeling--

it makes me feel like i start everyday with the intention of going ice skating.
that "i can't wait!" excitement.

i don't know.

i'm going to beautiful san francisco tomorrow.

]]> ~depictionofintimacy