http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:depressive-poet&section=today deviantART RSS for by:depressive-poet en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Wed, 16 Dec 2009 00:17:24 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://depressive-poet.deviantart.com/journal/9078401/ http://depressive-poet.deviantart.com/journal/9078401/ Thu, 15 Jun 2006 15:07:23 PDT
like i said, if you want the page, im me on messenger or leave me a note. ]]> ~depressive-poet http://depressive-poet.deviantart.com/journal/8997145/ http://depressive-poet.deviantart.com/journal/8997145/ Wed, 07 Jun 2006 08:45:09 PDT ~depressive-poet http://depressive-poet.deviantart.com/journal/8982603/ http://depressive-poet.deviantart.com/journal/8982603/ Mon, 05 Jun 2006 20:54:59 PDT
so today i found out that if you cut yourself under warm water you won't stop bleeding. which is really weird cause this last time i relapsed, that's the only way i would cut myself, when i felt shitty, that's what i would do. take a bath and cut. i could have killed myself, fyi, that was not the aim. i was just feelin shitty , and that was my release. the cuts were fuckin deep, it's a wonder i never bled out. so now that i'm in the right state of mind, it's just like wwow.... i could have died...

i'm glad i didn't die.

i dunno..this is just like fuckin crazy to me right now..maybe i'll feel different about it tomorrow.

i am not looking for attention, i'm just venting. ]]> ~depressive-poet http://depressive-poet.deviantart.com/journal/8928502/ http://depressive-poet.deviantart.com/journal/8928502/ Wed, 31 May 2006 08:43:32 PDT 'the first rule of project mayham sir, you do not ask questions'
'THE FIRST RULE OF PROJECT MAYHAM SIR, YOU DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS!!!'


FUCKKKKKK ]]> ~depressive-poet http://depressive-poet.deviantart.com/journal/8285028/ http://depressive-poet.deviantart.com/journal/8285028/ Mon, 27 Mar 2006 13:34:05 PST ~depressive-poet http://depressive-poet.deviantart.com/journal/8243922/ http://depressive-poet.deviantart.com/journal/8243922/ Thu, 23 Mar 2006 08:12:33 PST
the original words entry was about angie and i..not YOU!! ]]> ~depressive-poet http://depressive-poet.deviantart.com/journal/8240742/ http://depressive-poet.deviantart.com/journal/8240742/ Wed, 22 Mar 2006 20:09:49 PST ~depressive-poet http://depressive-poet.deviantart.com/journal/8196890/ http://depressive-poet.deviantart.com/journal/8196890/ Sat, 18 Mar 2006 10:49:54 PST ~depressive-poet http://depressive-poet.deviantart.com/journal/8170425/ http://depressive-poet.deviantart.com/journal/8170425/ Wed, 15 Mar 2006 16:11:45 PST
i dont know

so much has happened, so much continues to happen. everything is spinning out of control. i try to move on. i try to not think of what was. i try to ignore memories. it was working. i was moving forward. you just keep pushing me back. i just want to move forward. get a grasp on thigns. live in the moment. and get out of the past. ]]> ~depressive-poet http://depressive-poet.deviantart.com/journal/8122231/ http://depressive-poet.deviantart.com/journal/8122231/ Fri, 10 Mar 2006 14:21:04 PST
what's on everyone's minds? ]]> ~depressive-poet http://depressive-poet.deviantart.com/journal/8068489/ http://depressive-poet.deviantart.com/journal/8068489/ Sat, 04 Mar 2006 19:43:33 PST this was pointless. ]]> ~depressive-poet http://depressive-poet.deviantart.com/journal/8064734/ http://depressive-poet.deviantart.com/journal/8064734/ Sat, 04 Mar 2006 11:52:07 PST
don't call.
don't im.
don't leave notes.
don't leave comments.
don't mail.
don't email.
don't visit.
no contact.

no explanation, no apologizies.

this is how it is from now on. i realize that you aren't going to change. i've already changed. it's too late now.

change is hard to get accustomed to. but you will have to. because i'm not there. i won't be there, i can't be there.

this is how it is. i will have you calls blocked. i can't deal with this. ]]> ~depressive-poet http://depressive-poet.deviantart.com/journal/7978481/ http://depressive-poet.deviantart.com/journal/7978481/ Thu, 23 Feb 2006 07:23:15 PST

and at the school they have an embroidery machine. the teach said she would let me use it. i'm going to have 'DeSiGn By ZoEy' put on my jeans. that way, I get the credit for teh jeans...not someone else. (Zoey is my nickname) ]]> ~depressive-poet http://depressive-poet.deviantart.com/journal/7510987/ http://depressive-poet.deviantart.com/journal/7510987/ Wed, 04 Jan 2006 18:18:31 PST than hurting someone else

holding in the words
that stab like a thousand knives
all inside
is easier than stabbing someone else

slicing the skin and seeing the blood
is easier than pushing someone else
to do the same

holding it all in
and pretending you're sane
is easier than pushing someone else to do the same

why hurt the ones you love
when you can hurt the very person you hate?
why hurt someone else
when you can hurt yourself

slicing the skin and seeing the blood
is easier than pushing someone else
to do the same ]]> ~depressive-poet http://depressive-poet.deviantart.com/journal/7370587/ http://depressive-poet.deviantart.com/journal/7370587/ Wed, 21 Dec 2005 07:14:08 PST
well tahts' the buzz

peace ]]> ~depressive-poet http://depressive-poet.deviantart.com/journal/6246675/ http://depressive-poet.deviantart.com/journal/6246675/ Tue, 16 Aug 2005 19:40:59 PDT ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
i am trying somethign different in the way of art....it's an abstract thing....so far it has turned out great...only two have gotten done so yeah....but the two have turend out great, in my opinion...i love the look so much...they make me happy..lol...i love colored pencils.....they rock....

~~~~~~~~~~~

so yeah that is the buzz on my new form lately.....cya....i hope you enjoy the new art. ]]> ~depressive-poet http://depressive-poet.deviantart.com/journal/6105338/ http://depressive-poet.deviantart.com/journal/6105338/ Mon, 01 Aug 2005 19:46:33 PDT ~depressive-poet http://depressive-poet.deviantart.com/journal/5975785/ http://depressive-poet.deviantart.com/journal/5975785/ Tue, 19 Jul 2005 09:06:39 PDT ~depressive-poet http://depressive-poet.deviantart.com/journal/5846907/ http://depressive-poet.deviantart.com/journal/5846907/ Tue, 05 Jul 2005 12:02:56 PDT
First:
On friday i went to my friends house for the weekend. On friday night not much went on. we spent an hour and a half workin on a tent. It was an extremely old tent. Almost impossible to set up. Then on saturday we went to the lake. We, as in, Angie, Jessica, Her two cousins, Her mom, and I. That was a lot of fun. Later on the evening (saturday night). There was a party w/ a hole bunch of drunk adults. It was hillarious.

Second:
I went to oklahoma w/ my boyfriend shawn. It was his birthday. He turned 16. I'll soon be 15 in august. And i was sorta on of his gifts. We went to oklahoma to see fireworks. We ended up in Celebration City, an amusent park. Then we wasted 10 dollars in tokens in worthless machines. But it was Fun anyways. Definately worth it. I loved it. It was so much fun. I had to come back today though. Damn. I went up on sunday night. I stayed the night at his grandma's house that night. Then we found out the mornin of monday, that a tree fell on their house, not the restaraunt. we spent all morning until 2 in the afternoon just getting the tree off. then we finally left to go to oklahoma. we stayed at linda's *shawn's mom* boyfriend's house after we got back from celebration station*. we left there at 3:30 in the morning. *YAWNS*. it was crazy. then we went back to winfield. and then we left for cheney around 10:00 in the morning. and now i'm back. it was so much fun.

I will never forget this 4th of july. it was CRAZY FUN!!!!!

CYA ]]> ~depressive-poet http://depressive-poet.deviantart.com/journal/5791259/ http://depressive-poet.deviantart.com/journal/5791259/ Wed, 29 Jun 2005 12:38:58 PDT ~depressive-poet http://depressive-poet.deviantart.com/journal/5783354/ http://depressive-poet.deviantart.com/journal/5783354/ Tue, 28 Jun 2005 16:26:01 PDT ~depressive-poet http://depressive-poet.deviantart.com/journal/5752227/ http://depressive-poet.deviantart.com/journal/5752227/ Sat, 25 Jun 2005 09:42:49 PDT
i'm so happy!!!!

they are a little sensitive, but that's ok ]]> ~depressive-poet http://depressive-poet.deviantart.com/journal/5733437/ http://depressive-poet.deviantart.com/journal/5733437/ Thu, 23 Jun 2005 11:40:02 PDT ~depressive-poet http://depressive-poet.deviantart.com/journal/5717542/ http://depressive-poet.deviantart.com/journal/5717542/ Tue, 21 Jun 2005 19:50:34 PDT and carved the word
suicide
into wood
with the razor blade
i used to use to draw blood
i stopped cutting
but the urges are here
and they are strong
i want to kill myself
and just end it all
i must kill myself
and end it all
i left my razor blades
on the cement
and didn't realize it
so i ran back to my house
to escape from myself
just to realize
i couldn't leave the blades behind
they are a part of me
a part of my mind
as much as i want to move on
and just change
it's too hard
and i can't
i want to scream
and fall to my knees
i'm begging for help
i need a new way out
i need a new release
i'm no longer numb
and now i realize
i never was
i was always feeling this urge
the urge to die
and waste away
into the back of the minds
and into the shadow of the darkness
the darkness
of the myself
i wish i was better
but the only cure
for this disease
is death
and that's all there is left for me

*story behind the poem*
i went to the park earlier. i wasn't feelin good. so i took my razor blade w/ me. i carved the word suicide into the bench. and the chair. and the tree.then i wrote it on cement. i was bein bit by mesquitos so i ran back to my house. and i also ran b/c i coudln't stand to be by myself. i realized that i forgot my razor blade. i contimplated to leave them. but i had to go back and get them.now i'm here. with my hands shaking. and tellin eveythign. to people i dont even know. i want to cut myself. like i used to. ]]> ~depressive-poet http://depressive-poet.deviantart.com/journal/5702664/ http://depressive-poet.deviantart.com/journal/5702664/ Mon, 20 Jun 2005 09:20:14 PDT ~depressive-poet http://depressive-poet.deviantart.com/journal/5592378/ http://depressive-poet.deviantart.com/journal/5592378/ Wed, 08 Jun 2005 19:16:26 PDT ~depressive-poet http://depressive-poet.deviantart.com/journal/5553693/ http://depressive-poet.deviantart.com/journal/5553693/ Sat, 04 Jun 2005 17:34:59 PDT
XxXLet's LeaveXxX

Sing a lullaby
sing it in tune
and sing it soft
hold my hand
tell me it's OK
try to make me understand
please tell me that we aren't going to stay

sing a lullaby
sing it in tune
and sing it soft
kiss me goodnight
tuck me under the covers
that hide the bruises
look at me body
fragile and broken
tell me that we'll be all right

sing a lullaby
sing it in tune
and sing it soft
please don't go
i know what he'll do
this is the sad truth that i know
i know the things he does to you

sing a lullaby
sing it in tune
and sing it soft
you tell me that we will leave
as soon as we can
this is a lie
that i wish i could believe

sing a lullaby
sing it in tune
and sing it soft
wipe the tears from your eyes
pull your sleeve down
to hide the hand mark
he threw you to the ground
didn't he
this is all so wrong
why can't you see
this has gone on for way too long

sing a lullaby
change the tune
and scream it loud
tell me we'll get out
and live what this life is about
i can't handle it anymore
we need to leave
and just shut this door ]]> ~depressive-poet http://depressive-poet.deviantart.com/journal/5494188/ http://depressive-poet.deviantart.com/journal/5494188/ Sun, 29 May 2005 15:19:49 PDT
summer of sneaks:

Summer of the sneaks On the way home from schoot. I saw some sneaks. I ran home and told my perents. They thouth that I was lieing. I said I’m not lieing. I thin kit was a piysinis sneaks. Debbie said go to your room now. I went up to my room. Then a coupl minits later I esckaped and went the river. I saw four sneak and tried to capsher them. They were piysinis. I got bit one. I went back home. Debbie fixed it and I was fine.

?:
My cusin spent the nitgh at my house. We stayed up till 1:00 and watched Mad tv.
My dog Roy is so spoiled. He gets 3 biscuts a day and I have a cat her name is Rex. Rex is a fat cat. When I was on vacoin we made outdoor smoors.

Rex Roy Watson

M grandpants:
Did you ever see one of you Grandpaws? I haden’t. I’d only one seen grandparnent. That is my Grandma. In the summer I spent the night over at her house. We go swimmying at the pool. One time my brother Jordan separated his elbow. Wes, Mom and Dad lingered the hospital but I went to grandma’s house.
Do you know Roy? I do. Roy is very exceptional to me. He was my only dog. Roy was fun to play with. He was a valine dog. His birthday is on valines day. We had him for along time. But we had to put him asleep. It was hard.

Amelia Bedelia:
Mr. Rogers said one morning that “he could’nt wait until chistmas.” Miss. Rogers said “Christmas was right around the corner.” Amelia bedlia thought if she turned the corner Christmas would be there. So she turned the corner but Christmas was’nt there. Mr. Rogers said I don’t’ mean that. I mean it’s Christmas eve today but Christmas is tomrow.

?:
Have you ever been in a tornado? I’ve seena tornado. It’s scary. When it happen I brought Elizabeth, my doll and Roy, my dog. After a while we found out it wasn’t a tornado. I was so relifed because I probly had about 100 dollars worth of dols in my room. Luckuly I was still there.
Have you ever heard of a flooded Halloween? I have. It was horrible. We were all dressed up. And then out of nowhere a storm. I was terrified. I hope that never happens aganin.
What ifyou were famous? I

Apparently I didn’t finish that one

?:
My grandma makes quilts for the needie. One quitl she made had squares of pink and blue going down the middle. Its really big. She makes good quilts.
Have you had an aunt die? Well I did. Her name was aunt Ireen. She was small probally about my size. She ment alot to me. But she was to week. So she died. My mom was crying and it made me cry. She was good.

Still don’t know:
One time I had a nightmirro that a polar bear chased me in my house. Sometimes I even think there s a kidnapper in my closet. When I have to sleep in the living room I put my blankel over my head. When Schuyler was over at my house she told me this one relly scary story. When go to bed with mom I feel sage. My brother used to go to bed at the same time as me I always felt safe then.


TRIPS:
Have you ever been To Missery? I have. When we go down to our cabin. Its very cosy. Jordan and I sleep upstairs. My brother Wes isleeps downstairs. My mo mand dad sleep upstairs. I like My moms room because it has this one mirro that has lights on it. I do my hair. It is fun.

?:
My favorite character is Tigger. Beacuse he always jumps on Pooh and says hi you budy boy. I also like eor beacuse he is always slow. I also like Pooh.

Science experiment:
I think Lima bean will be sick. I’ve never trided them. They stink. We’re gonna soak them over night. They spout when their underwater for 5 hours.

Halloween night:
On Halloween night in cheeny it floded relly bad. Our house basement floede. It lityed and thumderd. 2 cars got stukc in the street.

?:
My friend she came over to my house. We were watching Halloeenl. I said the killer was in the closet. I scared her half to death!
My cousin Ira has long hair and some times he has a ponytail sometimes.

Roy Adm Ro

?:
I sleep with Elizabeth and my baby blancet. It is 12 and Elizaebeth is 3 I got her the Chrismas of 96. She is named after my middle name I always sleep with her. My blancet is so soft. Sometiems it’s my only cover I think it puts me to sleep .

In the morning roy my dog barks by my brother’s room. ]]> ~depressive-poet http://depressive-poet.deviantart.com/journal/5480160/ http://depressive-poet.deviantart.com/journal/5480160/ Fri, 27 May 2005 20:00:12 PDT ]]> ~depressive-poet