http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:discipleofmalice&section=today deviantART RSS for by:discipleofmalice en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Sun, 06 Dec 2009 19:30:56 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/19784200/ http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/19784200/ Tue, 05 Aug 2008 05:39:17 PDT can or might trigger my allergies(both my skin and lung asthma).

in no particular order...heheh

1. oranges (weird)


2. vitamin C (weirder)


3. apples (even weirder)


4. pineapples


5. mangoes


6. bleach


7. peanut


8. peanut butter


9. almonds


10. wallnuts


11. sunflower seeds


12. butong pakwan


13. sesame seeds


14. salmon


15. lobster


16. crabs


17. shrimp


18. tuna


19. ...any other sea food you can think off


20. ...any other shell fish you can think off


21. eggs


22. chicken


23. too much salt


24. too much sugar


25. soy sauce


26. fish sauce


27. caviar


28. chocolate


29. perfume


30. cologne


31. powder


32. cream


33. hair gels


34. hair mousse


35. lotions


36. ponstan (in capsule form)


37. coffee


38. dust


39. smoke


40. pollen


41. fur


42. syntetic fur


43. just any kind of fur... T_T


44. cotton


45. wool


46. just any kind of fine fibers... T_T


47. bees


48. some insect bites


49. baygon insect killer or any products


50. chalk


51. chlorine


52. too much cold


53. too much heat


54. eratic change of weather temperature


55. some alchohols


56. energy drinks


57. and lastly....paintsOMG! i cant paint

So, now you know how corny my life is...
and to think of it... GAWD!!! I REALIZE WHAT A NERD I AM!!!
IM A FREAKIN BUBBLE BOY!!!

]]> ~discipleofmalice http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/19104436/ http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/19104436/ Sun, 29 Jun 2008 06:08:40 PDT
here it goes:

i've just heard someone ordering at Mr.Donut: "Miss, ilan donuts po pwede sa 1 dozen combo (Miss, how many donuts can i order in 1 dozen?)"

i'm such a neat freak, i started to clean my footwears with formaldehyde(formalin).

when i was young, i often drown my depression with juice... with 10 tbs of sugar.

that time also, i'm so OC i almost stabbed the guy with a chinese brush because he mixed my paint with his.

i think i'm overdosed with anti-toxin.

i also think i'm allergic to vitamin C

when my classmate asked our professor's colleague's email, he answered: "Email mo sya, mabait naman yun. sasagot yun. (Why dont you email him, he's friendly. He'll answer you.)"

I asked a thesis adviser, what will happen to our midterms. Her answer: "Ewan ko, oo nga noh, midterms na pala."

I love to laugh at the most unnecessary time. (ex. climax of Saw movies)

I have the most maniacally laugh i've heard.

Some relatives of mine i look like Rez Cortez (one of actors here in the Philippines who play a great role in villians.)

Fat is thin, only better... lotta pounds better!!

Dumb is genius with mental retardation.

There is here, only far away.

the end... i think...

]]> ~discipleofmalice http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/14547794/ http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/14547794/ Sat, 08 Sep 2007 15:21:56 PDT
Another 3 months and im going to be another year older... *sob!!

weird thing is, i dont feel "christmas-y" at this countdown... maybe people are getting too miserable when they're getting older. hmm... maybe its because as i become more responsible or mature the wilder i become. i dont know... i just want to have my time of my life before i graduate (which i also wish to be soon).

im not really looking forward into working full time. maybe its all those bad experiences i get. but still what else im going to do after i stepped into the real world. truth be told, im not really ready for it. i dont have enough on my bank account to support anything i want. maybe its good enough to start with something rather than nothing.

ARG!!!

Its the "-ber" season! and i dont hear any jingle-white-kissing-santa caroling. i think even Jose Mari Chan isnt singing this season on the radio. WTF?! i really miss the cold breeze during this season morning, the late sunrise, and the cold stuffy nose i have whenever my allergies gone haywire. but all im experiencing now is a early red sunrise(which really confuses me coz, sunsets have a red sun), a hot humid afternoon, and my itchy eyes coz my allergies attacked it rather than my nose.

-i think this would be the miserable christmas im going to have. anywayz, i hope you guys have a better holiday than me...

]]> ~discipleofmalice http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/14025128/ http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/14025128/ Sun, 05 Aug 2007 07:14:13 PDT alot to describe her...

in chinese, 愚笨
in dutch, Stom
in french, Stupide
in german, Dumm
in greek, Ηλίθιος
in italian, Stupido
in japanese, 愚か
in korean, 어리석은
in russian, Тупоумно
in spanish, Estú pido
in filipino, bobo... P.I. mo!

but for my vocabulary, her name would be suitable to describe that specific word! i dont care if she'll read this journal coz just to be honest you, she'll be probably know that she's the one im describing... if not, well, thats another evidence for you peeps that she's totally an idiot.

ok, for once, if you are reading this, have a backbone for crying out loud! dont dare me to talk to anyone that you have obligations with it. you took the project, finish it yourself! not that i dont want to make the project you've been passing to me, its because you kept on doing it everytime! dont ever throw it to anyone that you can boss around, coz to be honest with you, you're not a boss(well, not even close to a professional!). dont you ever notice that we're just trying to put up a smiling face whenever you're around the room? more probably on the whole office? why?

i'll just bluntly say it you ok,

you're such a blabbermouth!

you asked me once if im angry at you before we've eaten my first pizza, YES!!! OMFG!!! i just hate your guts! each and every bloody hell of it! dont ever see yourself as a regular because youre not acting like it.

ok, why not lay off this website for once and get to work!
all we see on your monitor is this website! for crying out loud!!! if you're trying to get (uhm, let me use another word... STEAL) works from this site. please dont get caught ok?

you stupid lazy ass!!!

]]> ~discipleofmalice http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/13468872/ http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/13468872/ Sun, 24 Jun 2007 07:35:27 PDT

10. i bought a firewire connector for my ipod for S$2... only to find out its not compatible with video
9. i bought a bag for S$78 for my laptop... but its for 14" mac only
8. i thought theres a 500G USB hardisk... so i bought a maxtor... only to see it a big adaptor with it
7. i looked over for a 70% off pile on Guess... theres no size for my big ass
6. for the things i said... i havent bought a thing on price-off, even its THE GREAT SINGAPORE SALE
5. i tried to work for my portfolio... but laziness overcomes me
4. so, i didnt have a portfolio, i dont have a thing to show for the guild meeting in the convention
3. i paid S$500 for a class with "the" Artgerm, only to find out that he'll teach the whole thing again at the S$250 convention...
2. i won an original ZBrush at a contest... to find out that its for PC only
1. so i installed it to my PC... but i need to pay $9.50 just the Pixologic to complete the activation...

well... theres something to look on to i guess...

*i have an original Imaginary Friends Studios Portfolios signed by Mr.Lau himself plus other IFriends
*the Zbrush i won has a complete tutorial book for reference
*i have a 500G external hardisk! and a S$8 refund on tourist tax
*and here's a kicker... *oops! i think i'll just to tell you personally*

]]> ~discipleofmalice http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/13080123/ http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/13080123/ Thu, 24 May 2007 18:43:18 PDT OMG!!!

is this true?! he... i mean He answered my comment?!

...well, im kinda shallow... but O-MY-GAWD!!! he totally answered my comment on him!



i feel so unworthy...


(who is it? well looky at the linky here-y...HE TOTALLY ANSWERED!!!)

]]> ~discipleofmalice http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/12319193/ http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/12319193/ Sun, 25 Mar 2007 06:51:26 PDT
This is an exhibit presented by 15 multimedia students of the De La Salle- College of Saint Benilde School of Design and Arts. Featuring artworks by Bobby Ray Aguila, Frederick Joseph Ang, Jamie Anne Beramo, Kervi Cioco, Chez Kerr Chua, Donn Nino Dacalanio, Jose Genesis De Leon, Nino Brian Dimaano, Lowie Gomez, Jose Rene Legaspi II, Rastle Joy Lozano, Ronwell Tristan Sanchez, Marcel Louis Sarmiento, Raymond Ridgely Sim and Tin Yumul. All artworks are available for sale.

The Art Space is located at the Third Level of Glorietta 4, Ayala Center, Makati City. Exhibit runs from March 29 to April 1, 2007. Viewing hours are from 10:00 am to 10:00 p.m. Artists' reception will be on March 29 at 7pm.

]]> ~discipleofmalice http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/12112638/ http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/12112638/ Thu, 08 Mar 2007 23:22:43 PST
but Mr.Tzu kinda left something out... well, for my sake actually and try to enumerate and explain some of them(or the ones i can remember for now... hahahha)

(this exerpts are translated in my own words)
1. in an army one must have a strong soldier, a weak soldier, a fool soldier, and a backstabbing one...
***yep, a number of strong ones to keep the army alive, weak ones to throw away for bait, a fool so he'll stand by you all the way even your moral are slightly crooked, and a backstabbing one to be your spy. my point here is also the same for friends. a strong one so theres someone you can hide to or fight your battle for you, a weak one so you can out-power them... free gifts, food, etc. a fool can be the one that follows anywhere. his loyalty is the one that keeps your whole group alive. and a backstabbing friend can be useful whenever you have fights on other enemy or friends. its the friend who goes under the "the enemy of your enemy is your FRIEND" category of friends.

2. one must know your weakness or strength before your enemy's
***totally true! PVP in WoWis a hell if you dont know what your enemy is capable of doing. in filipino scene though is totally different. if you dont know that person is capable of the better. surprises isnt the best quality of a filipino... just like on telenovelas... if the story is a pasé, old timly, hunk of trash of a storyline, it would more probably to be watched by all of the whole country. philippines is an old tradition type of community. too old for my taste...

3. In ancient times those known as good warriors prevailed when it was easy to prevail
***for my point of view, they just have initiative on the battlefield. in the old days, you cant copy or steal something in an instant. now a days, if you want to be good on something you can do it. you can cheat, steal, gamble, anything that your heart desires. it is easier to stomp someone on the ground if you can trip them first. hence, the excerpt the one who is first in battle has the upper hand.

well, thats it for now

]]> ~discipleofmalice http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/11630941/ http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/11630941/ Wed, 31 Jan 2007 04:07:59 PST
well. speaking of chinese... i always tend to hear about some nasty yet true fortune telling on noon time talkshows... and still wondering, just for a change... tell something that they're not expecting. let me give you a list of something im not really expecting here for this upcomming year.

10. a very successful impeachment trial... nor a new president.
9. my graduation... (sad, huh?)
8. a GOOD reality program that involves houses nor freaky singing
7. our new College of Saint Benilde Design and Arts building
6. a new lesson plan from any web design teacher
5. a new WiFi Router... T_T
4. a GOOD or even an uncorrupt "mayor" that "knows how to punch"
3. updates on my webby comic
2. greetings from my old friends... even my highschool classmates
1. a great summer vacation...

]]> ~discipleofmalice http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/11284746/ http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/11284746/ Tue, 02 Jan 2007 07:07:39 PST
whatzup?! its a late entry for the holiday, and i will explain it why i havent updated for a while later on my log...

first of, Fête no.1
my greatest birthday for my whole frickin 21 years... 22 actually... for the first time, all of i invited really took a chance and celebrated with me... im so touched... aw
but that day wasnt all that good. first, it was 5:00 am i was late for my course card distribution. plus, to my surprise, my backstabbing friend is there on my ride to school. he even asked me if was my birthday... but still didnt greeted me(it was no biggie for me. he's not even invited. heheheh). the dreaded day i knew im goin to get a failing mark. no doubt i have my first present from a prof. its like "sleeping beauty" story. i was like "you should have... really... you really shouldnt have." thats like. at this point im keepin my cool til i cant stand no longer.
other than that im going to regret every thing i did that morning.

o well, by 1:00pm all was joy-joy-happy time. everything was so perfect even though i knew i need to keep my "lowered expectation" mentality. i also have a cake. a super 22 candle cake! then everyone was "make a wish" but ya know... my wish already came true....i wish for friends that would stand by me forever... and there you all are! (aw... so freakin corny now... HAHAHAHAH)

Fête no.2
i dont know for you guys but celebrating christmas on a muslim country really can turn off the fun of it. me and my family was on this hotel on malaysia and theres no fire works. there was a alot of people on bars near petronas tower, but i think that Filipino "noche buena" i was lookin for this whole time.

Fête no.3
Tahun Baru!!! Bagong Taon!!! New Year!!! this time where on a remote province on Indonesia called Batam. were on my Dad's house. the celebration this time was completely different. again from a muslim community, i saw cow being slaughtered infront of our house by elder locals from the neigborhood. i'm hearing Bahasa Karaoke, from the looks of it was i think a mile away. my dad blowing a horn because there we didnt bought a single firework. still, i was glad i have my whole family with me that time.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM YA ALL PEEPS!!!

]]> ~discipleofmalice http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/10780697/ http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/10780697/ Sun, 19 Nov 2006 17:23:35 PST
im so excited!!! my web-comic is now up and running... well, not anyone wouldnt understand what im writting there but, hey still, i fulfilled what im trying to do since im high school!

Everything you'll be reading here is about my environment in my school. conspiracies, caricatures, revenge... heheh... and much more. and now i promise im going to update this freaquently as much as i can. even though the rest of my friends stabs you in the back, even though all your teachers hate me for doing this, even though everyone will tell me its a great misconduct in my journalism career....

hey, everyone lets out some steam once in a while... why cant i?


heres the link! http://room-ml2.blogspot.com

]]> ~discipleofmalice http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/10621637/ http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/10621637/ Sun, 05 Nov 2006 06:06:29 PST
I've always been wishful that i will make a mark. i always thought that i can be better than those kept me lower than me. well, maybe its karma. but i said it myself that people make things happen, not god, not ideas. its all reality. I've always wished for power, but im afraid once it rolled on to my doorsteps. maybe i've been overwhelmed. or maybe i'll always thought about that it wasnt for me in the first place.

its a bit ironic that here i am. i have nothing to be proud with. typically ranting on what my life would be if i have what i want. but i cant ask for more. i have everything, anything i can ask for.

haaay... buhay.(aw... life.) it can be boring sometimes, it can be painfully erratic too. its all about the timing. life is a jerk that kept on bugging you whenever you dont feel like it.

everything and everyone kept on getting better than me.

~~~~~

*noticing that i wrote about is kinda... well, "a slap on the face"

let me tell you something i overheard while strolling.

"those who cant do, teach
those who cant teach... are the ones makin a riot bout the govement
those makin a riot, ends up without a job."

~~~~~
oh yeah... i feel sorry for saddam...
oh, is he gettin hangged? heheheheh... let me take back what i said... burn in

]]> ~discipleofmalice http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/10036422/ http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/10036422/ Mon, 11 Sep 2006 07:03:35 PDT
T_T

that emoticon sums it up...

Watching the fun apple ads added more frustrations about my life. firstly, i needed to graduate... desperately. next my grade wasnt so clean for this term(and i havent told anyone yet). and im out of money... that WiFi card bus is pretty useless once you see this Apple MacProBook

for now im enjoying myself to my lousy compaq presario that kept on crashing everytime i play diablo(not diablo 2 or LOD! just plain DIABLO w/o any f**king updates...)*sigh*

for the funny ads...Apple Ads


hey, can anyone here tell me whats a good laptop for 3d modelling??? ]]> ~discipleofmalice http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/9993244/ http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/9993244/ Wed, 06 Sep 2006 20:54:06 PDT [link]

firstly check out the link...

god, i thought i had my bad times myself... but this one is too much...
i mean. get the web design for free and then sue the guy who made it... wow...

like, i know my friends did that to me but sue me by not doin it?! come on!

another thing is what would be the website all about. "how to get rich book"?!!! like, wtf?!

i know all of you guys will be reading this has some experience in this, but way hell... only thing i can do know is everybody should know this, asap.

with my lifetime, i always wish i got someting with a fair exchange. i dont want to name names but Brandon Mendez(a striving business man with a hell of a friendly favor), my barkada(Jerson, Venz and the ever backstabing Jaje) would turned out to be a "user", some guys i left in De La Salle main during my engineering days and some hotshots here in Benilde that kept of sucking you off on the neck and expect nothing in return. hey, theres alot(and i do mean alot) of leeches in this world, but you cant manage to get them out of your neck. figuratively, you'd better of out of the water. there's alot of them out in this world, and even a nice pinch of salt cant even drive them away. in the end you'll be the loser. out blood and out of use.

nuff said... read the blog. ]]> ~discipleofmalice http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/9960193/ http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/9960193/ Mon, 04 Sep 2006 06:21:01 PDT
not in the church though so its pretty much ackward for me coz, i missin out the whole use of the wedding... well, the place isnt what struck me but the whole emotion of the whole banquet...

simple, yet not that too elegant
the bride is my close friend... but i didnt find her stand out from the rest
the friends and family is too quiet
theres too many issues that any of the people would like to talk about...

then the groom wanted to speak...

he grabed the mike and poured out his guts to all his comrads, peers, and men and women that he was working for...
he showed great feelings from what the whole crowd didnt expected...

this really troubled me... i did that from quite sometime and it tend to stick to me from now on... is it that if a person shows great emotion he tend to also show great weakness? i know someone that doesnt do that... he is so stuck up that in time that he is near to its breaking point he ran... he ran his father's back and hid.

pathetic... i sense it more acceptable to see a man fight his emotional stress than to ran from it... disgustingly enough he hid from his father's back!

what a wimp! ]]> ~discipleofmalice http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/9819119/ http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/9819119/ Tue, 22 Aug 2006 17:59:27 PDT In my life, I discovered there are four kinds of friends. Barkadas takes place whenever you have certain similarities or have similar fondness to something. Though this idea of mine is much narrowed down, I seem to categorize all what I already seen in this world. This category only takes place on a barkada group where it has 4 or more members. I will also be attributing these types into a male gender class.

The loser aka the scapegoat
Every group needs one. The group intended to pick on this fellow as it will stick itself to the group. He takes the fall for whatever the berks done. He is the one following far back on the group. Everyone knows him because ironically, because he still tends to help the group even though the group doesn’t owe him a thing. He would always say “sige, utang na loob nalang” to himself to gratify to what he has done. This fellow would tend to be the homo of the group but in rare cases. But in majority, he would be the rich kid being helplessly sucked out by the parasites of the group. This can take place on outings, birthday celebrations, or even vacation meetings; he would end up paying the bill and still accept his friends to what parasites they are. Also in the end, this poor guy will be kicked out the group whenever he has no use at all; even he if he is the one created the berks.

The secret bearer aka the clown
He would be the all know-it-all person of the group. Though he would be always being absent whenever there is a gathering, whenever he is present he tends to make the group more enjoyable. He has more good qualities than the other guys. He would always make you laugh and realize what you have done that isn’t quite right. But the thing is, he would never take your side in a fight, or whenever you get yourself on a downside. He would always make mind tricks on you. And he would stay quiet forever whenever something goes wrong. He would be the one starting of discussions behind your back to the group. He makes fun of you whenever you’re gone. He would be the person you really enjoy the most but in the sad part you don’t know the person at all. Though he is not the intellectual of the group, he would tend to be the one with the most economic problem of his own.

The backstabber aka the great parasite
He makes the berks organized. Though everyone sees him as a mature guy that he is, he would tend to act out as a pathetic little brat. What he wants, he gets. He would always nags about something. He would be your “all around friend ng barkada” because he knows all of you. But whenever you’re not looking *wham* you got an emotional Rambo knife on your back. He would tend to fix the problem of the barkada even he is not. Whenever you ask this guy for a favor, he would say yes for a price. You would always feel down with him. He would always ask around emotional questions and runs away whenever his turn to talk. He would always say he has a problem with women but in certain parts, he is the problem of the women he’s trying to court. He has an ugly face and acts out that he is a womanizer.

The bad ass aka the deceitful friend
This would be your true bestest friend to the end of the earth and he would also be likely to say to you that term also. He would be more likely being the one who will bring gifts, celebrate a party or what ever your heart felts likes it. He is the one that you are in the group, though he would see you like a crap in the end whenever you’re down. He would also help you whenever you are down, but only with his finger. After the celebration is over, the happiness has run out, he would be the guy that acts out that he doesn’t know you even if you have given him part of your soul. This is also the guy that you’d promise that you’ll still be friends even if both of you has a wife and children of your own. But in the end he is the one pushing you to a deep hole of distress. He is the worst one of the group. You can’t take a promise with him because he would tend or intentionally forget it, because he wants to get out of the group. He is also the one saying, “the other groups I had doesn’t have problems like that.” or “I enjoy the other barkada than yours.” He would be the one that only goes for the happiness of the group, whenever there’s a problem he will tore your dignity and friendship in front of you saying “I’m not a part of this group and go to hell”.

Friends are the one that you would likely depend on whenever you are in a downward spiral, but in the end your friend would also be the one that pushed you to that cliff in the first place. ]]> ~discipleofmalice http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/9756942/ http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/9756942/ Thu, 17 Aug 2006 07:05:23 PDT What have you done so far?
Is it worth being proud of?
What have you done in your life youre so sure you can shout out to the world you’ve done this and everybody loves me because of this?

Im thinking some of us are just askin the same question within our lifetime, in this case im going to tell mine.

I started as a crazy weird boy without a friend and freaky as it may seem, our school bully doesn’t give a damn putting a fight on me. In some cases, I really don’t. I don’t bother having laugh at coz its probably its not my priority to look too good at my peers. Well, that’s me in my past life. Invisible.
Now, my story of my first taste of fame…
I have my way on teachers and my art projects. Not to brag but I kept being pointed out to carry out art stuffs coz people around me seem to notice I began to show some talents in paper. I hated that. Though sometimes I felt a tear of joy trickling on my cheeks whenever my preparatory teacher pulls out my notebook and show to the class how “art” is supposed to be done. I still prop down my head to the desk in shame. But I love to draw. Heck, I sell my soul just to be good. But not too good that attracts attention. Seems fame is too hard to taste. Just like tasting a siling labuyo(chili) dipped on ampalaya(bitter gourd) sauce.
At this point I still wanted to find something more suitable for my lifestyle that I can still draw. I want more paper. I have lots of crazy ideas to put on paper. Colors to discover. Canvases to feel. Pencils to dull. I wanted more. My family though is pretty much of a stepping stone to where I stand now, but I picture my friends to be more of a help. Yes, I have friends at this time. My family and my friends are two separate lives I live in. It is like my school is another planet and my school service is my rocket away to a god forsaken place I called home. School seems to be my home now. I had so many organization that I completely forgot that I hate seeing my art being admired my teachers, people I hated also… well, only during my high school and collage days.
I’ve done animations, graphic designs, wallpapers, interface designs, web designs… entirely and almost all of branches of studying an art course. Though I like each and every bit of knowledge I know, renaissance, anime, comic, sketches, macabre, whatever I’ve tried it. I like it all.
Now, for my answers. Yes, I like it all. All media, I think I probably known or seen. Now, I don’t know where to center. Just like what my animation professor said blankly to my face: “you guys have lots of talents to show of, none of you just don’t have any clue to choose your own specialization.” Its true. I don’t know what I want to be. Well, that’s what multimedia arts is all about. A buffet of knowledge being a jack of all trades and really master of none. This kind of training sucks big time.

And yet I cant finish anything I probably started out. Though you see I have 80+ devs around here, I cant say I put all my passion upon this works. Yes, im proud of all of this, but not that I can yell all of this is my first class work.

That’s for me. I think im not much of an artist. Artist are social people. I guess im not that kind of people. ]]> ~discipleofmalice http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/9352049/ http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/9352049/ Wed, 12 Jul 2006 08:28:39 PDT It was just fine and dandy when all of them came along my life. Well, they are my life at first, but then slapped me hard and kicked me out of my own car to the sidewalk. Pity isn’t it? Well, so I thought. It seems too real to be true. A group, keeping you alive, shares your dream and wishes, pushing your dignity up and making a hero out of you. That always happens during a fitting script for a great controversy. I always see myself a leader. Leader is always the target of a stinking misconception or a blind item, more yet, a black mail. I don’t blame them to what happen to me. It’s not their fault that I’m a good trusting friend. It’s not their fault I spoiled them through and through till they see I can’t take it much longer… hell yeah… it’s their entire fault! Am I being dumb again to my self or what?!
Since the summer incident, I promised myself I can’t think of anything high school, that everything I consider my friends is my worst enemy or even unreal. I left my whole teen hood a blank. I consider myself a hermit from all anything that considers Lourdes or St. Francis. For once in my life I now promise myself that I won’t step on those unholy grounds. Every one in there is more likely to be destroyed and eaten up by the earth, and just like the story goes, every one looking back at that god forsaken place, will be turn into a block of salt.


i just curse all other 3 dragons will turned into dust and burned down to the ends of the earth where blood boils and pain creeps underneath their black empty souls... so help me god! ]]> ~discipleofmalice http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/8733979/ http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/8733979/ Wed, 10 May 2006 19:21:30 PDT Tagged by
(kung di nyo sya kakilala she's jess ignacio. isa napaka magaling na studyante ng multimedia artist sa DLS~College of Saint Benilde, heheheh)


Instructions:

The topic is 6 weird habits or things about you. All those who get tagged need to write a journal about their 6 weird habits/things. You must write the rules too. After completing you'll need to choose the next 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Leave a comment that says "you're tagged" in their devpage comments and tell them to read your own.

Sige nga, masagutan nga ito... Well, first of all i need to say something first... its been months since my last journal, and thinking i need to take off my flaming elsewhere to someone i really love and also the one i really hate. heheheh... also, for those who dont know me, i can get weird as i can get. thats why i have so many enemies, and yet so much more friends! yey

so, here it goes...

when my mother goes at work when im just a little boy, maybe 3yrs old i think. my mum leaves me at this preparatory school near our house. so clearly i cannot be admitted for my age, so sat there with older kids like a student but im not. the whole point in this story is the time we got to shapes and colors, i exceeded all other students in that class, coz i can tell what shapes and colors the teacher shows us. but when its math time... i suck!

im afraid of clowns... though it maybe joker of batman, krusty from the simpsons, bozo the clown, pink haired ones, sad ones, grinning ones... each and everyone of them! im the hitler of clowns... even Ronald McDonalds! they just really freaked me out... uhhh... those all those red noses...

my first award in a art competition is when im in 1st grade and we need to color within the lines of goofy, donald and mickey(disney characters if you didnt get it by the way...) i won first prize, which is i think it composed of a complete set of encyclopedia, crayons and a pencil case... but the real deal is, the winner should buy those items... my mother was frustrated and bought me the pencil case... i didnt enter any competition again since i was 18... now, im a lousy competitor.

i have a weird mannerism to defy authority... my mother was an exception... coz, she taught me how... for those who know my age... heheh, i was clearly a EDSA baby. i was taught how to fight for my own rights and rebel whenever i am being mistreated. and thats why im on the capus newspaper now.

im really fond of speaking to anyone, or even anything. my bestfriends during my childhood days was my batman action figure, spiderman action figure and a dog that sings to me a lulluby song. strange enough, i dont have toys that dont have a mouth. i didnt have toy cars, toy trucks, or toy guns. weird thing now is, im a misanthrophical son of a bitch. heheheh...

i have a wierd relationship with gadgets and such. i am afraid to use them... heheh... this started on a magic diary(a product from sony i think that has a calculator, telephone directory, love calculator and fortune teller that activates when you enter a date and your bday) i saw a flaw on that thing which tells you your fortune on the date that you enter, it seems that your im still alive at year 2200+. since then that triggered me to find out when im going to die...(grim huh) then i reached to maximum incapability that what will happen to me when i die, or whenever around me dies. i lost weight and i had asthma attack every single day. stressed out i suppose. then my mum entered me to a session with a psychatrist. i think it helped me to go on through my... ]]> ~discipleofmalice http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/7338332/ http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/7338332/ Sat, 17 Dec 2005 16:25:44 PST
Same thing i can say about friends... but also theres a large debate that old stuffs are more reliable than the new ones... but hey, "What are friends?
Friends are people that you think are your friends, but they're really your enemies, with secret identities and disguises, to hide they're true colors. So just then you think you're close enough to be brothers they wanna come back and cut your throat when you ain't looking..."

Yeah, they're just there if they want something to you. But when the time comes you need them they'll just spit on your face and treat you like an irritating pimple.

Hmmm... whats else in the head line?

***i've learned today that you cant rely on someone to bury down the hatchet at a snap of a finger. Friendship that states that "friends forgive but best friends forget like nothing happened" really suck! *BULLSHIT!!!* alota B*LLSH*T!!!

People are like scavengers that pick on you once you're down helpless. Rather lend you hand, they'll just step on you.

ALSO
*POOH's FRIENDSHIP DAY isnt true!
~just like the easter bunny, santa claus, the guy you call a best friend or even God!
*POOH is just g*y

Now for the entertainment section...
My family has turned my back on me!

this just came in....
Im the worst son they ever had!
~hey but i didnt say that i hate them...

~~~~~~
(This should be in the shout out, but hey, it would fit)
FRANK TAN JR.,
JAJE,
JR,
I wish you'll just die!
If you want be alone, just die ok?!
For what i know you just a cold imature son-a-bi**h! (A old beaten out chinese bitch of a father!)
I wish all your family just rot in hell!
I wish you suffer on your life!
I wish you fail!
F**K YOU! JAJE ]]> ~discipleofmalice http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/5691586/ http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/5691586/ Sun, 19 Jun 2005 04:26:31 PDT ~Pablo Picasso

so, what is up with the mass media? as long as you are part of it, you'll pretty much be remembered 'till death... crappy reason to live a dream right??

there was one death lately from a newscaster was deeply mourned about... BULLSHIT!!! from the time i woke up till i rested out my feet infront of the TV from school, the news was all about him!!!

hell! whats wrong with this society?! he just made a documentary from a tribal peninsula to find out whats causing the death of many tribesman there, and finally caught himself a Malaria and now he's a all new hero?!
=ok, he became the sacrificial lamb to start the concern of malaria here in the philippines... but... the big question is... SO?!

is that the problem here? we still need to wait for someone to die just to create a solution to a simple problem?

... again i'll say... BULLSHIT!!! I HATE THIS LAND!!!

hmm... way, to start of a so called "blog"... well, just to let out steam i suppose...

so, in the local news... i have a new hobby than RPG video games... heheh...

it is so called film photography... well, im practicing B&W photography...

well, its not the fumes i'm into it... it's kinda addicting too but thats not it... the work to create something out of the dark is really intruiging... it is also complemented with the experience seeing a movie about ghost photography...

well, i got my SLR and i will continue to RANT!!!
write to you gain next time...


(comming up? my trial print in B/W photo and MMA gag comic strips(MMA is multimedia arts... its my course taking up now)...)

mga tropa ko...



http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/5595093/ Thu, 09 Jun 2005 04:57:03 PDT - Da Vinci

To start of, im intruiged that so many peers of mine are using blogs. Me thinks my “black book” has gone useless… well, same goes with my new SLR camera… everything old is good, but it doesn’t always lasts… so, seeing that my journal isn’t much viewed by many… and also to let out some steem, at the same time uploading up my works(crappy and not so good), im using this part of dev-art to do just that… read all you want, im not writing all those flowery stuffs al those some wants to read…

Im just going to rant
Rant…
Rant…
Rant…
Rant…
Rant…

Coming up?
Rey Langit’s Son most telecasted wake!


Sa Mga Pare ko!!!


]]> ~discipleofmalice http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/5079725/ http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/5079725/ Wed, 13 Apr 2005 15:49:24 PDT ...as so Dorian Gray said...
is quite true actually...

i hate myself knowing i hurt someone i really love. that i know myself that im better that what i have done. i know myself that im really sought to be strong... but im not...

i am now on the state of finding myself, for who i am and what am i going to do. one person showed me what i am today. Jaje pictured me as a lowlife, self beating, bum. that i can only draw to keep myself alive.

that is true actually...

im no better that those scavengers lying down on the streets waiting for their sustenance to come to them.

he wanted me to be strong. stand up for my self. change what i become.

that incident happened during my 20th birthday by the way. by those words, i finally given up mt one true skill. for three months that passed, i havent created anything. i deliberately forgotten to put my pencil to act.

by now, i began pushing way people around me. i forgotten to give a helping hand.

i forgotten the my real essence....
and he hated it... ]]> ~discipleofmalice http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/3305378/ http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/3305378/ Tue, 07 Sep 2004 03:14:33 PDT "Im sorry I've done this to you"
"You dont deserve a jerk like me"

...this words, from my one and only friend.

it like been forever since we last met. even though that time i feel so uncontrolably depressed, upon seeing his jolly 'ol laugh and jokes... i cant help but smile.... silly at it is... its like he's my sorrow and joy... without him at my side, i can go simply insane...

in some case, even if he's around me, i still foam on the mouth...

its been 2 weeks since i hear his grumble. mopping about his girl and his books... i know he can handle it on his own... (in other hand... he doesnt like my help. seems like it he dont want to look at me anymore...)

*sigh* ah... life... question: can you still appreciate... no, "trust" your friend even if he done so many things to disappoint you, maltreated you, irritate you, etc? would you still talk to him... ofcourse no would be the answer... now, lets turn the table around... what you didnt know is your friend is making-up from all the things he'd done but keep messing it up when you try to recall the things he'd done wrong... now, what would you do?

strange as it is... i feel like i've been left alone. not only by my one true "bestest" friend... but also with my other friends... whats good in having a new model of cellphone, if you cant use to call on someone? whats good in having a cellphone if the one you're calling doesnt have a paid account to call you back?

whats good in having a friend if that friend doesnt want to talk to you?

in conclusion:

its really hard to make friends to start of... but come to think of it... its harder to keep them from stabbing you at the back...

(now for those who wonderin where i have been may 'til april... the truth is i took a vacation out of my country just to run away from my problems) ]]> ~discipleofmalice http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/3126128/ http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/3126128/ Sat, 14 Aug 2004 18:00:26 PDT
i've been poisoned because of my own stupidity...(i know... who in their right mind spray baygon allover a room and sleep in it?... i guess its me...)

since that, i've been having this dream where am a walking pestilence, secreting some kind of plague on the tips of my fingertips... and all i touch wilt... and following me is a sepernt, telling what to do.. obeying his every will...

well, i dont know what it meant, but now i feel different.. just different...

hmm, im ok now, much better... i guess,

but my best friend isnt... my idol of perfection has something wrong with him... i never seen him like this before. he always have the initiative to study hard. to do well on what i never done... my source of jealousy and also admiration... well, not anymore... i never seen him such irresponsible like this... i guess he'd change....

everything changed... and i dont like it...

i've been calling him, just to check out whats he'd been doing... well, everything is kind of quiet... no ones talking to someone...

i really dont like this...

i just wish everything turns out fine...

hmm... i really dont know what started this but its like effecting everybody all around me... just like poison on a bloodstream...

(heheh... kinda scary) ]]> ~discipleofmalice http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/2973856/ http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/2973856/ Mon, 26 Jul 2004 16:46:45 PDT
i know im good, everyones telling me that... though, through that i feel more unchallenged... no one critics my work... its all positive... (thats also the reason i havent checked DA for a long time... brings so sad memiors)

so, im here now... cant stand out for my own... yet no true friends to walk me by... true, im such a happy fellow... everyone notices that also... yet, i feel so terrible when i lie for others sake...

its been a norm to me that i look out for others before me... whenever me and my friend go out, he kept on telling me that i should take responsibility for my self as well, not other people would treat me like he treat me like that... other would only benefit for your work and you would be left alone...

i hate to think that...

---------------------------------------- -------------------------

still i still think on some other way....

what are friends? they'll bring you sweets and praise you in exchange for your work... after that, youre nothing... they'll just spit you out like a worthless piece of junk left alone rotting on the side of the damp street...

user-friendly... friendly-user.... but mainly "user" ]]> ~discipleofmalice http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/2313295/ http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/2313295/ Tue, 27 Apr 2004 21:47:16 PDT
uhm... its my 4th day here in Singapore... bored... and with all this chinese looking people around me, its so hard not to forget my "bestest" friend from home...

its my 4th day around here and i cant call home... i cant call him... the only thing i cant connect through him is through email or chat rooms... too bad his computer down. he's the only one i can hang around with, tell my problems and the same way, helps me to laugh it all away! with all these singaporeans keeps on bumping around me along orchard road, its really hard to be homesick... missing him out... looking through this people and thinking he just looked like him! im hallucinating every time its a rush our here... every one looks like him!

i really miss my home... atleast there i can call him and go out, hang around his house and enjoy a long laughter with him...

its only been 4 days! 26 more to go! and im expected to be in Indonesia for the following week by my father and another week again in Bangkok for a tour cruise! i know it great for my age to travel all around south east asia... to island(or country) hopping... but im really home sick for sure

*** sorry if i cant comment for while... sorry deffpan88 if i cant browse along of your great masterpieces... Skeevy... just keep those wonderful poems writting! i cant wait to go home and read them... and all those im on watch... i just cant wait to go home! ]]> ~discipleofmalice http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/2212557/ http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/2212557/ Tue, 13 Apr 2004 05:12:06 PDT Friends are people that you think are your friends, but they're really your enemies, with secret identities and disguises, to hide they're true colors. So just then you think you're close enough to be brothers they wanna come back and cut your throat when you ain't looking..."


well, here i go again with my rants...

first of, i'll tell you what happened...

i opened my YM and finally saw him online. he didnt mind messaging me or his other friends. so, i did the first message... without any sugars and cherries, i yell out with all my rage...(including the infernal "BUZZ") he gave out his thoughts after im finished typing furiously my mind out... as usual, he admits he is wrong, without any doubts he kept telling me he'll do better... ye right...

ok, he manage to make me to agree to let him to pass by my house... what a big mistake! he keep on telling me he has a problem with people... but, somehow, he dont have any problems with me... well, i can take that...

so to make my story short, after that cheesy worthless handshake. he make an agreement to get along with his problems and stay close with us for a change...

... well, too bad...

well, 5 mins ago... we were having a fight again... he keep on arguing me to push the call button and put down the phone. let him rest for a while, with all the summer heat and all (i hope his sister's room's aircon fall on his head!) i just want to arrange a summer get-away on a resort... all i need is his schedule for summer classes, so i cant know when i can arranged it... well f**k him!

am i really that irritating? am i not a good friend... well for those who dont know me, dont judge right away.

im watching Shrek now... the scene where DONkey just want to have a good quality time with this STUPID OGRE... but he doesnt care... hell if he freezes outside with no food or water... hah! Ogres have layers... well i think his layers are too thick enough to feel our feelings... he doesnt give a thing...

i just want a friend to tell what i feel. to share my problems. well, he gives a hell a problem with girls... cant handle them single-handedly i suppose... and now im with a problem!

this is all the thanks i got with being friendly with him... well im good with others, im a perfect people person... but once i got to know a friend, they just use me to draw valentine card for their parents or wrap gifts for ther girlfriends... a total "USER-friendly"

but not him... he doesnt use me... he knows my gifted hands and i know his powerful mind... and we dont give a hell with each other... we dont use the capabilities of each other... we are one of a kind... no give and take... but a hell of hurt when we fight...

once we almost end up having a black eye... but thank god, i just have a sprained arm from his blow and full of tragic in my heart... (hey, im the only one hurt that time! but i think i also strangled him with my bear hands... thats good enough...)

it nice to shout out all my rage here... it keeps my other me in place... ]]> ~discipleofmalice http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/2148469/ http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/2148469/ Sun, 04 Apr 2004 04:52:11 PDT
even the smallest word or sigh can mean something. its the feeling on how you express it.

i dont have the skill talk according to the rules, but i can still express myself though how hard i try. im not good with words either... my grammar is much worst if you cared to ask...

thats why no one understand me...

thats why no one likes me...

but still i keep on believing i can be someone with form, someone with all the knowledge, someone who can stand tall and say: "im here, bow down to me..."

i know someone like that... i patronize him... i lay down my life for that person... hoping some of his great nature can rub off on me(exageration perhaps but it is the truth). i know he's a good friend... though he hates company... i still find some way to treat this illness of him. my other friends also wanted him to change... still he dont want to listen... he likes what he is right now.

i dont know whose really wrong in this. we want to change something that is eternally perfect... though his imperfection makes him perfect... or something like that... i want him to like that in the first place... i thought it would be nice having someone whose strong and with unbreakable ego... but the outcome returned to me as a cold and heartless rival...

i want to talk to him... he listens... yet he doesnt give a thing to us... what else we can do but wait... wait if the wound would still heal even our ears turn out cold and our lips to be like stone... ]]> ~discipleofmalice http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/2134551/ http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/2134551/ Fri, 02 Apr 2004 01:57:41 PST
i cant think staight when everything goes array... nobody wants somebody's opinion anymore... no one hears out someone... you're on your own... they keep on coming up with explanation why they dislike what someone have already has...

everyones a critic... everyone has tantrums... everybody keeps on nagging... and here i am...with all ears...

bitter, yet true...

i want to enjoy my life... but someone keeps on ruining it... he's always the one that keeps my day from being so shiny and dandy, smiley...
too bad i cant do anything to stop my "so called brother" to cause chaotic feud around our circle...

we always keep in mind what he wants... so sad to know that he dont return what we sacrifice from him... what he wants... he gets it... how much i strive on what i give to him... the only thanks i get is a "yeah", "right", "ok", "thats all?" response

(jer... if youre reading this, you know what i mean... pabasa mo na sa kanya...)

when by the time we confront wtih "his" (not ours) problem... he will just sit there... looking so guilty... silent... then after that he will say, that he will try better next time... he will admit that he was wrong... and tries to make up on what he did... (yeah right)

cause after a few weeks, he will return to his hermit shell again just like he doesnt like anybody...

from all the time making friends with almost hundreds of people... i got the one who's always bitter when i come to confront him... bad luck i guess...

jer, will also keep a positive statement on me, everytime this happpens. "He's busy with his project", "He's a friendly person once you really get to know him","Hang around him... maybe you'll forget what he'd done to you..."... statements like this... i dont want to be patient anymore! i waited yet nothing good comes back at me...

what else i can do...

he's bitter, im sweet

he's a hermit, im a public

i guess there some time that you are wrong at something, and you hate to admit youre wrong... still other will still complement what you think though how immature or immoral how your mind think...

how strange isnt it... you cant really choose your friend... they choose you to start with... ]]> ~discipleofmalice http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/2099382/ http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/2099382/ Sun, 28 Mar 2004 03:16:06 PST
I dont know if im right but from my word power, i think thats what it meant...

So after my "social" problems, quandaries about life, trust, and friendship... i found myself into something that can make me forget this nonsense even for a short while...
Funny how something disturbing can make you move... into more intersting...

well, im positive that im not going into this hobby... i know im more into canvas and brushes... primitive yet... you can still mold reality... oh yeah, there is something like photoshop... nearly forgot...

i just hope, everything turns into something near to light... specially for us... ]]> ~discipleofmalice http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/1847481/ http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/1847481/ Sun, 15 Feb 2004 00:08:31 PST
I think....

It's just how much i wanted to have a REAL TRUE EVERLASTING(well, maybe never that everlasting part) FRIEND of my own... I have friends... got tons of them but i cant say i have any regular normal bestfriend....

No one really cares... its just like they hated me for some sort. that didnt stop me from finding someone... they come and go... leaving me on air.

I did found someone... at first he didnt comply. he always show the "i dont want to be your friend now, not ever" kind of look. for some point i thought that did i something wrong. but theres a some kind of urge that this time i shouldnt stop. this kind of relationship is very important to me...

I am afraid to be alone... yet i am.

time passed, exciting and fearsome days happened between us. tears flood our eyes and smiles brings more joys to our laughters... fights come and go... but i cant really tell if this will go on...

... but i'll tell you what im sure of, i wont give up anything for this friendship... i just hope... he does too... ]]> ~discipleofmalice http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/1845333/ http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/1845333/ Sat, 14 Feb 2004 16:10:20 PST i can pass any test of endurance...

by my emotion cant..

i remember the time i was stabbed at my side with the metal fence. i just ended up only with a scratch.. that just wasnt the first time i was nearly been killed with a pointed object... well, that still isnt the last time i have been nearly killed... one time, when im doing weight lifting while lying and the 35 lbs weight slipped on my hand and fell on my face... i have no bleeding nose or a disfigured face... or even a broken neck... i have just pain all over my face and scared out wits. i have so many to share, but i cant remember other details.

i cheated death oh, so many times... but i think death isnt really giving me a chance to rest... i have so many pains and suffering. i cant say that i have the greatest problem on my life but i think i come to the brim of my patience... i cant really handle them any more... ]]> ~discipleofmalice http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/1629644/ http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/1629644/ Sun, 04 Jan 2004 17:20:52 PST
I'm happy i have a passive friend... though he have a great mind... he's just mainly a listener. He dont want to meddle himself into trouble. As for me I'm a runner... escape is my first defensive manuever. Given a chance, i just want to avoid the mistakes I made. I'm not good at lying anyway... so my stand is to stealthly walk away from problems...

Well, thats another year that i got away fast from. As for now, new challenges awaits me ahead... new faces... new things... all can cause new problems... i hate new things... say that im living traditionally... but tradition what keeps me on my foot and my fast pace in walking... ]]> ~discipleofmalice http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/1338517/ http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/1338517/ Wed, 29 Oct 2003 16:38:24 PST i have everything... average knowlege, ultimate riches... i have my past, and i have a waiting future. i can be anything i want. im a great actor... though the mask im wearing grins until its lips rips, i have a great sigh behind it. i can make people smile, laugh till thier heart's desires. ironically, i cant even pinch myself to waking reality.
i remember one time, that just seeing my friends with me kept me happy till i sleep. but happened? my heart forgot to smile again... cold as it is, it is being isolated as my face causes a great lie of happiness. still, they are always there to comfort me. though i dont want it... i have tried to ruin every relationship i have gone though... but i failed. happiness, is so hard to break. i tried to break trust, love, companionship... still, all mends again to one whole by this sickly feeling.
i cant say that i havent felt great joy today. people starving in agony, people crying, shouting in pain... those are my happiness... they complete my day... seem so evil doesnt it? well except for him, my lover, god and brother always bring me solice. he always give me peace of mind... though not every one sees it. his smiles both quenches my anger and softens my heart. he keeps me contained... trap to this feeling of joy... i cant say i hate it... but it keeps me powered up again to do what i enjoy most... hate others... ]]> ~discipleofmalice http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/1298044/ http://discipleofmalice.deviantart.com/journal/1298044/ Sat, 25 Oct 2003 15:41:49 PDT i just hate when something is sorted or being judged by another's perceptions...
the strange thing i cant imagine is why would this feelings affect me... why my mind be challenged into something i am not. i have never had the chance to think my self as a thinker like jer, a spritualist(may be evil or good) like venz, or a perfectionist, the one and only jaje... what about me? the talented? what would i get from that?! what job would awaits me till i graduate? in that point, i would be like venz... but venz seem to be alright that way... how bout me? what pride can i give? im not perfect. i dont think deep... im just nothing!
i have tried everything. it just made me more envious than before.
how about riches?... i just want to be like them.... they have just enough to survive... i have everything... we'll except my most wanted love for someone... my coins isnt much important when nobody hides their faces in your back.... im just a nobody.... ]]> ~discipleofmalice