deviantART: by:divisal

deviantART: by:divisal http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:divisal&section=today deviantART RSS for by:divisal en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Mon, 21 Dec 2009 15:31:35 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png This is what I know http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/28472677/ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/28472677/ Fri, 20 Nov 2009 16:44:14 PST Follow Me | Friend Me

I know that I cannot be on here forever.
I know that not everyone that is ''watching'' me is really watching me anymore.
I know that I haven't been as active on here as I wish I could be.
I know that I'm losing the passion for this community even though I wish I wasn't.
I know that when I finally decide to go, I will miss the friends that I have made and kept here.

this is hard.

]]> =divisal = ) http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/27050584/ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/27050584/ Sun, 06 Sep 2009 09:05:12 PDT Follow Me | Friend Me

THEY CALLED!

[well, Monday]
I even had an interview the same day and got hired on the spot!

That was the easiest interview IÂve ever had. Well, second Â first was Starbucks at Safeway and that wasnÂt even really an interview that was them telling me I got the job even though they had never met me. So, I guess I can say it now. ÂSure. It will be okay.Â Now, I just have to wait a week or so for them to check out my employment history. IÂm sure that 1-2 wks will creep along like all the others have, but at least the stress of waiting can go away.

[whew]

PS!! If anyone knows how to make the background of an image transparent, I'd love to know how. Keep in mind that I'm operating on a Macbook.

]]> =divisal ... http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/26923978/ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/26923978/ Sun, 30 Aug 2009 19:56:29 PDT Follow Me | Friend Me

Guess i'm just in need of a place to vent -- even though recently-- anyone that has ears has been subject to my random acts of babble.

Where to begin, really.

Ah. July 9th '09.
Went to work at Bux at 11ish; didn't have to be there untill 1230p. Worked all day and came home to a call from WalMart DC to schedule an interview just two days after I went in and filled out my app.
Perfect timing!
I had just put in my two wks and that would give me enough time to have a few wks off.
Awesome!
But not.
I called back the next morning and the woman told me that they had already finished that weeks schedule for interviews and that they will call me the following week.
Ok. Not so bad. Still rather excited.
Fast forward.
One week.
Two weeks-
nothing.

So, I decide to call them and see if I missed the call or what was going on. A different woman from before said that my application was on the top of the pile in the "schedule for interview" folder and that I should be getting a call soon.
FINALLY!
---but not really.

Fast forward to Aug. 10th '09.
Between the last call and this day, my sister, mother and husband have ALL been talking to people that have been telling them that I will be getting called within the next few days. By now, it's kind of getting old, but everyone keeps telling me that they're going to call and not to worry. Today, I had to go in and fill out another application because my previous app had expired.
...do what!? They called me on the eighth of July, I called back on the ninth, they never returned my call and NOW I have to fill out another app because you let it sit there and expire!?
Fine!

So I do it and I've been given instructions for my sister to be paged when I'm finished so she can come get it.
Easy as pie!
Wrong again.
They won't do it.
Whatever!!! I leave a message and leave.

Fastforward ONE LAST TIME to Aug 27th - 30th.
Wed the 27th I get a call from my mom saying that I WILL, without a doubt, be getting a call Fri or Sat. Most likely Sat and to stay home so I get it.
Great. House arrest.
By this time, my hopes are shot even though I still want to believe it...I honestly can't and say I do for my moms sake.
I can't sleep and when I do I'm having nightmares because I'm entirely too stressed out.
Friday comes and goes but I'm not TOO too worried about friday.

Saturday--
Nothing.

That was yesterday.
It's Sunday morning around 2am and I've used just about every tissue in the entire house on crying. Just thinking about it sends me deeper an deeper into the depression I've been fighting.
We're struggling to keep up wiith our payments..its bad.
We owe 2mnths of mortgage, 2mnths on TV/Phone/Web, 1 month of car, electric and utilities, 2mnths of car insurance and 2mnths of furniture payments.
It's to the point now that I'd deal with the stress that Sbux put me through just to make a bit of money to help out.
I do realize that its not WM's job to keep me employedn but it is their job to follow through with promises. Afterall, how does that make them look?

Ugggghhhh!!!

Tomorrow I plan on calling them and it will be my last attempt with them. I have to move on. We'll end up losing our home if I wait on them.

(sigh)

Off to bed.
We'll see how tomorrow goes.
Blackberry Email

]]> =divisal ... http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/25916170/ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/25916170/ Mon, 13 Jul 2009 09:18:34 PDT Follow Me | Friend Me

I've been absent.
Absent from all that is sane.

I'm leaving my job on the 20th of this month after 2 1/2 years.
My mind has been elsewhere. Definitely not anywhere near here.
Things are looking up/down/sideways -- it's all a blur.

I'm able to hold it together.
Put it into words. Pictures. Gestures.
I've been moving along with the pace of a snail yet everything is rushing by me.

Fast. Faster. Fastest.

I don't feel wanted/needed there anymore. I feel like I've outstayed my welcome - and though they need me [and boy do they need me] I have decided that it's now my time to part ways.
I've given my life to this place and I've gotten nothing back..except for the few best friends that I'll hold close - so very tight.

On the other side, I've never been happier.
My marriage is seeing highs it hasn't seen in a very long time.
Don't get me wrong. I've always loved my husband with love that could shake the heavens - I have always wanted the best for him - for me - for us. We've just been stretched to our limits with stress from me and my job for too long. It's time for a happier me.

That time is now.

As the countdown continues until I last step foot in that place as a partner, I look back and realize that I have had some of the best times in my life and met some of the best people. Even though there are a handful of bad eggs that I cannot stand the thought of, I never wish I hadn't met them. All of them had there place in my life. I don't regret much. The flip-side? I have met two people [who are still there] who I can clearly say will be life-long friends. A few others fit into the category of friends you see when you return and they'll always be a friend -- -- well, you know.

I'm nervous.

All I know is Starbucks. It's been my job for the last 4 1/2 years.

I'm hopeful about my interview.
It will be better for me. For us.

I'm in need of something new.

It will all be ok.

]]> =divisal .Ahem. http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/25469805/ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/25469805/ Mon, 22 Jun 2009 09:13:59 PDT Follow Me | Friend Me

I just wrote a whole journal entry and it disappeared.

C'mon dA.

Sheesh.

]]> =divisal .These current times. http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/24665219/ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/24665219/ Sat, 09 May 2009 08:31:42 PDT things should get cancelled.

So I guess stressful situations are attracted to me.
Perhaps.
Perhaps I walk into things that are meant for someone with a backbone and a cold heart and walk away damaged and cold.
This has happened more than I could count.
I sacrifice "friendships" for the betterment of myself.
[which is probably, in all actuality, needs to be done]
[doesn't mean it won't hurt to let go]

Do you feel abandoned?
--of course I do.
How long do you think you'll feel that way?
--I'd like to think forever so I could forget you all.
Of course you do.

The conversations that I've been having with myself lately go 'round and 'round in circles and always come to me feeling less of a person.
Someone 'not so close to me' has said that I should be angry at the fact that my feelings are being manipulated.
Perhaps.
Perhaps I just like saying perhaps.
Perhaps I just like saying.
Perhaps I just like.
That's my problem. I just like things the way they are.
I do not love them.
I do not hate them.
I am content with my surroundings and everything I do or say or anything and everything other people say or do for that matter.
My biggest lesson would be to learn to love the things that make me happy and not be content with that. I want to live life in love with life. I know there are things that are missing in my life and I am happy at this moment in time. I will go back. Rather, I would like to hope that I will go back. If not, I hope to come out on top regardless or my decisions and indecisiveness.

Please smile again.
--If you could find a way..
I can't.
--Of course.

I guess this has helped.
Then again --
probably not.

====

_{-well, at least in my mind they should.}

]]> =divisal WhenItSnows http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/23465988/ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/23465988/ Sun, 01 Mar 2009 08:54:41 PST things should get cancelled.

This month has been crazy.
things change, people leave, days pass...

I just know that I've had to have a strong set of shoulders this month and I'd do it all over again if need be. But sometimes, the comforter gets the weight of the world thrown onto them and needs a pair of shoulders for themselves...those of which I need today.

--

On to things not so sad -
We're supposed to have 17in of snow coming our way.
[east coast u.s.]
I sure hope so. That would mean that our meeting tonight at work would be cancelled and I would possibly have no work tomorrow - ? But who could really be so lucky, right?

Work is getting tolerable in some ways but in the bulk of them, not really. I'm still gunning for a spot at the WMDC. _{WalMart Distribution Center}
It's a NICE paying job that my Mom, Husband, 2 Aunts and Sister reap the benefits from. I need something different. [not to mention higher paying] Our mortgage payment is about to go up $100 in May and we're pinching it now as it is. So, if you pray - please pray that I get this job and if you don't pray - hope really-REALLY hard.

--

I haven't had any time to take my Nikon out of it's case this week. Perhaps when it starts snowing I can run outside and get a few good snow shots for you all.

--

Love you all!

====

_{-well, at least in my mind they should.}

]]> =divisal Lately, http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/22920775/ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/22920775/ Sat, 31 Jan 2009 10:13:22 PST I've been

Oooops.
Well, I haven't really had a decent day off since who KNOWS when.
Tomorrow is my first REAL day off and I'm going to take every advantage of it. Hopefully it's either sunny or snowing.

Excuses. Excuses.
I know.
I said I was going to be uploading single pictures of Alicia soon so I'll probably get around to doing that tomorrow?? No promises. Ugh.

I'm also hoping to get a day off with ~deesse-feerique so we can do a pseudo photo shoot thing-a-majiger. We haven't done one of those in a while.

Uhm - anything else...
don't really think so.

Tell me something.
Anything.
I'm all ears.

you all!

====

slacking in the photo--taking department.

]]> =divisal Today, http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/22683855/ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/22683855/ Mon, 19 Jan 2009 22:07:25 PST has been

Not much to say - I'm sort of only making this journal to test out the CSS I'm putting in here & and I know I'm really bad about updating this thing - so hopefully, I'll get back to this and write a REAL journal.

Sound good?
Great!

====

a really long day...

]]> =divisal ||It's been|| http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/22422757/ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/22422757/ Mon, 05 Jan 2009 19:46:33 PST A while

Why hello!

It's been forever and a day since I've actually put something in here. I have no idea why I'm so bad at updating.

Recently:

I got a new camera for Christmas!!
I now own a beautiful gold edition Nikon D60.
I've been wanting this camera for SOO long and I finally have it.
[thanks to my husband for that ]

I've been spending a lot more time with different people and I'm finding that I like it. I like being around people I don't normally hang around. It's sort of refreshing. Don't get me wrong, I miss the people I don't see on a normal basis.

Our first Christmas in our first home was a SUCCESS - even though it definitely didn't feel like it was going anywhere during the week before. Everything ended out being quite alright. = )
[so much for worrying and stressing]

Hmm.
I don't know if there's anything else that's worthy of update status.
OOH!
Sooo - I applied to be a gallery moderator today. = )
Wish me luck! I'm crossing my fingers. I would love to be a bigger part of this community.

---

Let me know what you've been up to!

---

:Q&A:

What do you hope to come from this year?

= My answer =

I hope to become a better wife/friend/daughter/sister/aunt/cousin/niece/grand-daughter.
I want to love more. Give more. LIVE more.
I hope to reach my goals that I set.
I hope for change & change to change me.

---

====

since i've updated - oops.

]]> =divisal ||We gotta fight|| http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/21402406/ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/21402406/ Sun, 09 Nov 2008 10:13:18 PST for their right

to live.

====

Get Empowe(RED)

]]> =divisal ||New Journal CSS|| http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/20785287/ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/20785287/ Wed, 01 Oct 2008 21:29:53 PDT You like?

You know you do.

So, this is just testing the new thing.
Can't really type at this moment because of these RIDICULOUS ACRYLIC NAILS I have stuck to my fingers! Ugh!

More to come soon.
Surely.

I have much to rant about.
Fall mostly and how much I adore the season, but I'll do that soooooon!!

Love you all!

----

Tell me your favorite lyric.

====

Journal CSS courtesy of:

The lovely:
=KnowingEscape ]]> =divisal ||I really need|| http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/20607751/ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/20607751/ Sun, 21 Sep 2008 18:32:48 PDT to update this more -

*Coozalicious

SHE'S BACK!

My Sister, that is.
She's been on again = off again with devART for probably as long as I've been on here.
Check her out!
Her stuff is great - [and i'm not being bias]

---

Other news:

My sister is getting married this Saturday and I'll be snapping some photos of that so hopefully I can get some good ones and get them up here.
Family is coming so I want to get a few family "not so much portraits" taken.
It'll be a good time.
I'm convinced.

---

I think that this is everything I have to say.

---

Tell me something about you that I don't know.

don't you think?

]]> =divisal ||A little somthin' somethin|| http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/20002596/ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/20002596/ Sun, 17 Aug 2008 10:53:50 PDT to keep me occupied

a) tell you why I friended you,

b) associate you with something - fandom, a song, a colour, a photo, etc.,

c) tell you something I like about you,

d) tell you a memory I have of you,

e) ask something I've always wanted to know about you,

f) tell you my favorite pic of yours,

g) in return, you must post this in your journal.

while you're not around

]]> =divisal ||It's a matter of|| http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/19884893/ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/19884893/ Sun, 10 Aug 2008 19:20:45 PDT conciousness.

It's too bad you don't know
It's too late to settle
How can you call me your friend
How dare you to pull me again

We'll waste some hours to trace the moon in the sky tonight
So we go like we're both determined
Your perfume slowly poison out my mind
And I hope this won't end
There's no reason to stop these infinite feelings racing towards you

We'll watch the stars tonight and we know where to find them
We'll catch some fireflies to illuminate our eyes

Your meaningful glimpse on me and your fascinating smile
Makes me feel your hiding something intimate
I'll breathe here motionless with this intense outburst of emotions
Let's color our special connection and the value of what we have

Don't play on me
Explosive thoughts we can't control
Every time we start to wonder everything
Tell me frankly if you like me or not

Tonight

Consciousness Beyond Secrecy - Minute by Chance

]]> =divisal ||Fiery Crash|| http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/19570907/ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/19570907/ Thu, 24 Jul 2008 10:45:56 PDT jet ways and Dramamine fiends
and x-ray machines
You were hurling through space
g-forces twisting your face
breeding superstition
a fatal premonition
You know you got to envision
the fiery crash

Oh close your eyes and you wake up
face stuck to a vinyl settee
Oh the line was starting to break up
just as you were starting to say
something apropos I don't know

Beige tiles and magazines
Lou Dobbs and the CNN team
on every monitor screen
You were caught in the crossfire
where every human face
has you reaching for your mace
So it's kind of an imposition
fatal premonition

To save our lives you've got to envision
and to save all our lives you've got to envision
the fiery crash

It's just a formality
why must I explain?
Just a nod to mortality
before you get on a place

Oh close your eyes and you wake up
face stuck to a vinyl settee
Oh the line was starting to break up
what was that you were going to say?

Andrew Bird

]]> =divisal ||A little backwards, but I think you'll|| http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/19443400/ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/19443400/ Thu, 17 Jul 2008 10:05:50 PDT Get the hint

She said
Please, won't you get off my back?
Can't you see that I'm in pain? You know,
I will never let you pull me back in again
A lot of things have changed lately.
It's not up to you to save me
And there's no turning back, this is it.
I'm on a one-way track
Not looking back

So, won't you please forget about me
And let me be. Don't try to save me

But, it would only be a lie,
if I told you I do not miss her
Her eyes, and her smile,
and the words she used to whisper
But, the lord only,
knows how much I have prayed
And the lord only knows about my lonely days
And you could've been mine, and I could have
been yours

But it would be a lie
if I told you I do not miss her

For You

]]> =divisal ||New Picture-alicious|| http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/19053989/ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/19053989/ Thu, 26 Jun 2008 09:32:30 PDT Shameless plug?! Me? Noooo!

Took some pictures the other day out of my moon roof in my car.
Uploaded them today.
[see how much of a slacker i am]
You don't mind tho.
I can tell. You still come around. = )

Anyway -
There's really nothing to update you all about.
My house is still in the same condition it was about a month ago -
just about all the way empty.
Haha! It will come together tho.
At least that's what they all say.
[whoever they all are]

If you have anything to tell me - you know where it goes.
Love you all!

Not Kidding

]]> =divisal ||Stuck behind|| http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/18710442/ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/18710442/ Sat, 07 Jun 2008 08:24:47 PDT Blah-de-da

I never update this journal.
Much less my page with new things.
Mostly, because I haven't written or taken any pictures.
I've been SOO busy with work and moving and unpacking that I simply haven't had any time to do ANYTHING productive with this place and I feel horrible about it.
I've been on here for 6 or so years and I haven't gotten back into the swing of things yet.
Meh.
Perhaps one day.

--

In other news, well - there really isn't any other news.
I'm a little hungry and hmm - well - thats about it.

--

Bye

Oh yeah

]]> =divisal Another late update. http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/18092884/ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/18092884/ Tue, 29 Apr 2008 20:04:59 PDT Mhm

I feel like RANTING!

But I won't on here because you guys don't want to hear it.
I'm just going to say that if you have a job, and you were trained to do your job, then DO YOUR JOB!
Stop bitching, stop blame shifting - stop acting like the [insert ''stereotype'' here] you are.
If you don't want to be classified as such, prove to be better.
But until then, shut your mouth.
No one - ESPECIALLY me - wants to hear it.

Eh - perhaps that was a mini-rant.
Sorry.
Haha!

In other news - I GET MY HOUSE IN 7 DAYS!
Come and help me move!
Please?
= )

That's about it.
I'll try and update some more at a later time.

Oh yeah

]]> =divisal What is it about http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/17101854/ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/17101854/ Thu, 28 Feb 2008 12:05:21 PST

[want to crawl]

[some days that make you]

Today/yesterday = one of those days.
I stayed in bed till One both days and now I just don't want to do a damn thing.
Bleh. Bleh. Bleh.

I really don't even feel like writing in this thing, but I feel it needed an update.
Thanks for the advice on the last one, friends.
Stress. Stress. Stress.
That's all it has been the past couple of months.
And even now, I'm getting frustrated just sitting here typing this.
GAH!

I need to get a hobby or something.
Perhaps start taking pictures again.
My camera has been following me closely in my purse begging me to take him out, I just haven't felt like it.
Maybe when Spring comes, I'll be ready to shoot more.

I don't even know why I keep typing this thing.
I'm just babbling.
Lame.

back in bed? ]]> =divisal This day will be forgotten http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/16900143/ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/16900143/ Fri, 15 Feb 2008 14:30:55 PST

[and everything will float away]

-->

So, Is anyone REALLY, TRULY good at this marriage thing? - because - I seem to be sucking at it pretty badly.

Can anyone tell me how many chances you get to do this right?
How many times appologies can be taken?
Can anyone tell me what I need to do?
Anyone?

Anyone?

Boy do I need some guidance.
Some direction.
Some help.
Something.

Do you get used to being alone?
Do you get used to talking to your spouse more on the phone than in person?
Do you get used to falling asleep alone and waking up alone?
Do you?

Anyone?

I can't seem to find answers anywhere - especially not within me.

So here I go.
Sinking - flailing - drowning - in this ocean.
With no one but myself - my worn out self - to help me survive.

But don't worry about me.
I'm used to it

------------

so very far away ]]> =divisal I'm really http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/16268912/ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/16268912/ Sat, 05 Jan 2008 11:03:06 PST

[a little featurette for an amazing artist]

[~jazzylemonade]

REALLY bad

at this.

---

Updating Myspace - yes
Updating Facebook - yes
Updating devART - not so much

I guess it's harder to update here when I haven't taken anything dA worthy or written anything good enough to post.
[admits to being a slacker]
Not so much a slacker, more like a hard worker.
I'm working odd shifts because that's how Starbucks runs. You never have the same schedule - EVER - and it basically leaves me time to sleep and spend time with my husband.
[

]
Soon - hopefully soon - I'll be able to look for another job that will have a set schedule and will be able to get back into the swing of things with dA.

I'm here for the long haul, so keep with me.

--

On a side note:
Raise your hand and tell me if anyone is reading this thing.

probably two people ]]> =divisal A little past-due http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/15915893/ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/15915893/ Thu, 13 Dec 2007 10:48:52 PST

Links

deviantART
My Faves
My Gallery

Christmas Infatuations

for an update.

[oops]

A lot of things have happened in a VERY short time.
Dustin and I decided to go for the house.
We're buying a 3 bedroom, 2 1/2 bath, three story townhouse just a few minutes away from my mom on the outside of Smyrna.
It's beautiful. Brand spankin' new, also. So far we've: picked colors, floors, where we wanted our cable and phone outlets, how high our ceilings were going to be, how big our kitchen was, we added three 12ft extensions, we're getting hardwood in the kitchen/dining area and I think that's it. So far. Haha! We go next week to meet with the builders and resign some paperwork that has changed since our INITITIAL signing. Since then, the price of our house went down a thousand dollars because the interest rate went down.

[i'm sure you're tired of reading at this point]

So, yeah.
It should be done by the end of March - then we'll FINALLY have our own home!!
I don't know how I'm going to react to a bigger space. Hah!

[i'm out of things to say]

------------

What's one thing that you REALLY want for Christmas?

I'll tell you mine, when you tell me yours. ]]> =divisal ||Today|| http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/15461558/ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/15461558/ Sun, 11 Nov 2007 09:44:29 PST

Links

deviantART
My Faves
My Gallery

Current Infatuations

I think I'm going to

go out alone like I never do.

I'm not quite sure what I'm gonna do yet, but when I figure it out, I'm gonna. I'm kind of thinking about gettin ready and going to Starbucks and then driving up to see Dustin, but I know when I get to the mall I'll want to buy something - and I didn't cash any of my checks yet. Grr.
So hmm. Dilema.

Or maybe I'll just go driving and take some pictures - or call Manda and see if she wants to bear the cold with me to do some photoshooting. Hmm.

Perhaps option three:
Stay home and enjoy my second day off in a row. [which i'm loving, but I really won't be able to tell that I have off tonight till about 2:45pm - when I usually would go in.] Hmm.

I'll probably go out and do a mix-multi thing....but I'll stop boring you with the details of my boring day.

--------

Tell me your utmost favorite memory.

I'll tell you mine, when you tell me yours. ]]> =divisal ||Sometimes|| http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/15332977/ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/15332977/ Fri, 02 Nov 2007 14:58:06 PDT

Links

deviantART
My Faves
My Gallery

I think you

break promises to hurt me so you won't have to love me anymore.

and.it.hurts.all.of.the.time ]]> =divisal ||Somewhere in my head there's a calm place|| http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/15236778/ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/15236778/ Fri, 26 Oct 2007 23:26:59 PDT

Links

deviantART
My Faves
My Gallery

In my own words

It's been an EXTREMELY stressful week and I can't wait for the weekend to get here.
I've got tons of things on my mind.
Work..home..etc.
If you pray, please pray for me.
If you don't, think about me.
Just something.

Maybe one or the other will work.
Love you all.

]]> =divisal __//Stressed\\__ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/14892615/ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/14892615/ Tue, 02 Oct 2007 22:35:25 PDT 01Gallery - 02Favourites - 03Wishlist - 04Today's DDs

Mood: =Unmotivated=
Listening to: =My Husband=
Drinking: =Arizona Tea Lemonade=

Read

Work.
No house of our own.
Anger.
No motivation.
Bad management.
Unsure

When does it all get......better?

[i.need.help]

CSS Layout best viewed in FireFox

Peace!

]]> =divisal * http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/14684788/ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/14684788/ Tue, 18 Sep 2007 08:40:12 PDT 01Gallery - 02Favorites - 03Wishlist - 04Today's DDs

Mood:
Listening to: Crickets
Reading: Words
Eating: Nothing
Drinking: Tea

__//I'm guessing we're not there yet\\__

I need some changes made.

CSS Layout best viewed in FireFox

Peace!

]]> =divisal __//Movin' on Up\\__ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/13669198/ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/13669198/ Mon, 09 Jul 2007 09:10:42 PDT Former Procrastinator

Yes sirs and ma'ams.
I got promoted!

I've only been there a little over a month and I already got promoted to Shift Supervisor. One step below Assistant Manager.
WOO!!

So now,I'll have more hours and more responsibility.
Hopefully I'll be able to handle all of it, tho I'm sure I can.
It seems real easy.
The only problem I've been having is respect issues from some Barista's but that should go away soon. Unless they hold grudges which would only be hurting themselves.

Oh well.
Anything else...
Dustin will be training for Assistant Manager when he finishes his Shift Supervisor Training.
WEE!!
We're both moving up rather quickly.
The only problem is that we're never seeing eachother.
He works during the day - I work during the day.
He works at night - I have off at night.
Oh well. Gotta do what needs to be done.

Now I'm rambling.
Chatchya later!

Peace!

_{Thank you =bewarecalamity for this journal. Edit Entry}

]]> =divisal __//Many a'time\\__ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/13391057/ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/13391057/ Mon, 18 Jun 2007 08:16:14 PDT Former Procrastinator

Oye.
I've been steady working since I've started at Starbucks and it's starting to seem like that's all I ever do. I've had about 8 days off since I've started and I'm feeling it. I guess all I really can do is get used to it. Hmm.

Anyway:
Nothing really to update you about.
Not many of you read this thing anymore - let alone come to my page - or see that I posted new things.
I guess that's my fault for abandoning all of you a while back.
You get what you deserve, huh.

Uhm:
Dustin got certified as a Barista at Christiana Mall and is now working on being certified as a Shift Supervisor. He's not really fond of the working environment, but he loves working for the company so i'm guessing he'll go where ever. [just hopefully not too far]

Our financial state is starting to look a bit stable.
Which is REALLY good because THAT means that soon, we'll be able to start looking for a place to live. HALLELUJAH!!
Not soon enough though. Prbly within the year tho. So, keep your ears perked for a ''Moving In'' party!

Other than all of this:
Nothing. Can't really think of anything else to say.
Hit me up with a question about me.
Anything.

DO IT!

Peace!

_{Thank you =bewarecalamity for this journal. Edit Entry}

]]> =divisal __//Page-ah View-ah\\__ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/13165149/ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/13165149/ Thu, 31 May 2007 14:40:39 PDT Former Procrastinator

Yah!
Just made it to 17.ooo pgvws!
It's pretty nice - it's not all about them though.
It's jut really cool to know that people come to your page and check your stuff out.
Awesome.

Anyway:
Nothing's really new.
I love my job. It's really great, the people are great [the ones that I've met], my hours aren't bad - overall, it's nice. = )

I just recently decided that I need to get prescription sunglasses. My vision has been getting worse over the years and last summer, I was fine. I could drive fine, be outside and not get headaches, but this summer, my eyes are killing me. I'm getting headaches, having to blink a fabagillion times -- it's bad.
So after I make my first car payment, I'm off to Lens Crafters to get my beloved D&G sunglasses.
I'm uber excited!
[yesssss]

Any other news:
Eh - my training is almost finished for my job. [yeah. I should have put this up there with my job info, but I just remembered it. hah.] If all goes well, I get certified on Monday - even tho i'm REALLY behind. I spent one whole day of training just reading my learning guide and that put me SOO far behind. It sucks. So now, I have to catch up and the only time I have to catch up is at work and I don't have the time. I'm not allowed to bring the book home because they don't want me ''working off the clock'' and that's understandable. I just think that they should give me an extra hour to my set schedule so I can devote it to book work.
[blah blah blah]

Hmm.
I think that may be it.

-----

Tell me something good

Peace!

_{Thank you =bewarecalamity for this journal. Edit Entry}

]]> =divisal __//Keep your fingers crossed\\__ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/12862985/ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/12862985/ Sun, 06 May 2007 10:25:59 PDT Former Procrastinator

FINALLY!

Well, hopefully.
I got that anticipated call back from Starbucks for an interview on Monday at 1:00 pm.
I'm UBER excited & can't wait to start working for them agian.
That's my big news.

Other news:
I've already put 3wks of mileage on my new car and I've only had it for 2. Haha! I drive it everywhere as opposed to when I had my other car, I drove it no where.
But anyway, it's really nice.

Still trying to get over this stupid head cold/allergies.
It's gotten to the point where I can't tell the difference between my allergies and the cold. It's pretty sucky.
My eyes have been bothering more than ever - with all of this pollen and junk that's made it's home in my house.
I'm thinking about either going to an allergist or going to the drug store and picking up something I can take during the day and not feel drowsy.
Oh well. I'm done complaining.

Supposed to go to the beach today with the Amester.
That should be fun! REHO HERE WE GO!
Maybe I can drag D along for the ride and be back by the time he has to go to his meeting.
Dunno tho. He's taking forever to get back from church to come get me, so it may just have to be a girls night for the both of us.

Now, I'm just rambling.
Haha. Eh...I haven't got the chance to upload many of my new things, but will get to that soon.
Not going to be making any promises since I can't seem to keep the ones I've been giving you, dA.
I have some writing in progress - almost done.
Not quite satisfied with it tho. I like the parts that I have, just don't know if they belong together - you know. That type of thing.

Hmm.
I think that may be it.
You tell me something about your week.

[love love love you!]

PEACE, PEACH!

Peace!

_{Thank you =bewarecalamity for this journal. Edit Entry}

]]> =divisal __//Reality check\\__ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/12615756/ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/12615756/ Mon, 16 Apr 2007 07:39:46 PDT Procrastination

Alright..I know.
I haven't been putting things up as often as I could.
I've been being a little lazy and plus - it's my spring break so Idecided to do as little work as possible.
Please for give me.
:cute:

In other news:
I have to go back to work tomorrow! YAY!

I'm REALLY looking forward for the school year to be over so I won't have to stay there. I would have left earlier, I just need the money for the car I'm about to get - FOR WHICH - I am very excited.
[i'll have to put a picture of it on my webcam - sike..that's a lame idea]

Anyway:
I thought I'd leave you with a song.

Love You Madly
Cake

I don't want to wonder
If this is a blunder
I don't want to worry whether
We're gonna stay together
'Till we die

I don't want to jump in
Unless this music's thumping
All the dishes rattle in the cupboards
When the elephants arrive

I want to love you madly
I want to love you now
I want to love you madly, way
I want to love you, love you
Love you madly

I don't want to fake it
I just want to make it
The ornaments look pretty
But they're pulling down the branches
Of the Tree

I don't want to think about it
I don't want to talk about it
When I kiss your lips
I want to sink down to the bottom
Of the sea

I want to love you madly
I want to love you now, yeah
I want to love you madly, way
I want to love you, love you
Love you madly

I don't want to hold back
I don't want to slip down
I don't want to think back to the one thing that I know I
Should have done

I don't want to doubt you
Know everything about you
I don't want to sit across the table from you
Wishing I could run

I want to love you madly
I want to love you now
I want to love you madly, way
I want to love you, love you
Love you madly

Peace!

_{Thank you =bewarecalamity for this journal. Edit Entry}

]]> =divisal __//Meet me in the field\\__ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/12585495/ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/12585495/ Fri, 13 Apr 2007 19:53:33 PDT
So I finally talked my husband into letting me get a subscription to this place - it worked.
I'm gonna check it out and see all of the perks.
I'm pretty cited about it.

I still have to edit some more of my pictures from Cry Baby bridge and as soon as I do that, I'll get more pictures up for your viewing pleasure.

I would put a song in here for you to read and love, but I haven't found a song to put up here yet. I'll get right on that!

That's about it.
Just an update.
I'm gettin' my car this next saturday, so if you're in DE, and you see a sweet lookin black Honda Civic EX - it's hawt little me.
Be jealous.

LOVE YOU ALL! ]]> =divisal __//Sandwiched between the sun & the moon\\__ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/12457790/ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/12457790/ Wed, 04 Apr 2007 14:20:44 PDT

as usual.

--------

I want to sing to you my love
My only love and happiness
Don't be so blue so blue my love
Take off your shoes take off my dress
I want to sing to you my love
My only love and happiness
Don't be so blue so blue my love
This too shall pass this too shall pass

But tell me, what have I done to deserve you?
Must have done something cause that's how it works
Must have been kind to kittens and birds,
In a previous life must have thought happy thoughts...

'cause there, you were there right beside me
Then somehow inside me while inside myself
Books on the shelf thoughts on the shelf
Hands to myself, i should definitely keep my hands to myself

Love is a dangerous pastime
Caught between madness and gladness of flight
Nothing is wrong and nothing is right
Falling asleep in your arms every night

But Love's such a strange situation
Full of frustration and anger and fear
Everything's tears
Nobody hears
Nobody's here, and nobody hears...
I want to sing to you my love
My only love and happiness
Don't be so blue so blue my love
Take off your shoes take off my dress
I want to sing to you my love
My only love and happiness
Don't be so blue so blue my love
This too shall pass, this too shall pass...

]]> =divisal __//If you want to - make it work + Q & A Pt. http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/12274308/ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/12274308/ Wed, 21 Mar 2007 16:49:05 PDT And there are no barking sparrows
Just emptiness to dwell upon.

I fell into a winter slide
And ended up the kind of kid who goes down chutes too narrow
Just eking out my measly pies.

But I learned fast how to keep my head up 'cause I
Know there is this side of me that
Wants to grab the yoke from the pilot and just
Fly the whole mess into the sea.

Another slow train to the coast
Some brand new gory art from way on high
I sink and then I swim all night.

I watch the ice melt on the glass
While the eloquent young pilgrims pass
And leave behind their trail
Imploring us not to fail.

Of course I was raised to gather courage from those
Lofty tales so tried and true and
If you're able I'd suggest it 'cause this
Modern thought can get the best of you.

This rather simple epitaph can save your hide your falling mind
Fate isn't what we're up against there's no design no flaws to find
There's no design no flaws to find.

But I learned fast how to keep my head up 'cause I
Know I got this side of me that
Wants to grab the yoke from the pilot and just
Fly the whole mess into the sea.

---

Tell me something beautiful.

]]> =divisal __//Commercials bring songs to my life\\__ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/12144862/ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/12144862/ Sun, 11 Mar 2007 14:14:18 PDT i'm looking tired and feeling quite sick,
i felt like there was something missing in my day to day life,
so i quickly opened the wardrobe,
pulled out some jeans and a T-Shirt that seemed clean,
topped it off with a pair of old shoes,
that were ripped around the seams,
and i thought these shoes just don't suit me.

CHORUS:
Hey, I put some new shoes on,
and suddenly everything is right,
I said, hey, I put some new shoes on and everybody's smiling,
it so inviting,
Oh, short on money,
but long on time,
slowly strolling in the sweet sunshine,
and i'm running late,
and i dont need an excuse,
'cause i'm wearing my brand new shoes.

Woke up late one thursday,
and i'm seeing stars as i'm rubbing my eyes,
and i felt like there were two days missing,
as i focused on the time,
and i made my way to the kitchen,
but i had to stop from the shock of what i found,
a room full of all my friends all dancing round and round,
and i thought hello new shoes,
byebye blues.

CHORUS

Take me wandering through these streets,
where bright lights and angels meet,
stone to stone they take me on,
im walking to the break of dawn. (x2)

CHORUS (x2)

Take me wondering through these streets

]]> =divisal __//It may already be close enough\\__ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/11912009/ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/11912009/ Wed, 21 Feb 2007 17:39:27 PST
A new ID.

Finally! I was kind of getting tired of seeing that piccy.
My new one is recent. Like two days ago - recent.
You should be proud of me for that one.

I changed my - eh - category that i'm in on here.
You know. The think under your name.
It says Photography something or other.
[shows how much i pay attention]

I'm going to be taking A LOT more pictures and submitting them -AND - I won't forget to finish my series. I promise.
I'm thinking about saving up to get photoshop. It'd prbly be a well worth it purchase, don't you think?

Hmm.
A lot of things going on.
Gotta get a new job before I lose my mind.
I teach a classroom full of four year olds.
16 of them to be exact. It's not pretty.
I'm in the market for a house and a new car.
I want a town house and a 06/07 Honday Civic EX, black.
Both of them need to hurry.
I'm tired of living with my mom and being married AND being carless and having to depend on my husband or others to tote me around. I feel like one of the four year olds in that respect.

Don't really have much to say here.
Uhm. Yeah.

------------------------------------

Tell me about something you did that was fun and exciting this past week.

]]> =divisal __//I'll leave your life for the second time\\__ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/11400367/ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/11400367/ Thu, 11 Jan 2007 15:50:21 PST
What was I doing.

That's all I really need to say about that.

Sorry I've been slacking on my submissions. I've been stretched to the max with time and I've hardly had time for myself. I'll get back to the series soon. I know. What a horrible thing to start a series and leave you hanging. That's not what I intended to do. Believe me.

Other than that mess -

Married life is FABU!!
Hahaha! For some reason, I've always wanted to say that. And I just realized. You know when you took typing in school, you always had that urge to look at your fingers...how come now that you're out of school, you don't and you can type circles around elephants? [<-completely random]

But yes. It is. It has been grand. Tough and stressful, but grand. I've heard it was hard the first year, but no one told me what the first month would be like...but I guess that comes with the time of year we decided to take the plunge. Oh well. We're gettin through it one day at a time. Speaking of us..I need to show you some pics that we took on our honeymoon.
I'll get some up here for those of you who still come around here.

If there are any of you.

Hello?

Well, I'm off now to dine!
Love you all...or two..or you...hmph.

]]> =divisal __//Just thought I'd say hello\\__ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/11098260/ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/11098260/ Sun, 17 Dec 2006 19:10:37 PST I'm UBER excited!

That's really all I have to say...other than the fact that I'm married now!

WOOT WOOT!!

It's been grand! I'll have to update everyone of you later!
love you all!

]]> =divisal __//Can a girl get some help?\\__ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/10186654/ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/10186654/ Mon, 25 Sep 2006 20:18:20 PDT I just got a digital camera on Saturday and it's my first.
So that means, I have NO IDEA what this thing can do. Haha!
Right now I'm experimenting but nothing major.
If anyone, ANYONE could help me figure things out and explain things to me, that would be SO HELPFUL!

So, this is my plea.

HELP!!!

Okay!

Have a good day/evening/night!

]]> =divisal Nightmare on Joe Goldsborro Rd. + Q & A Pt. 12 http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/10073056/ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/10073056/ Thu, 14 Sep 2006 17:30:05 PDT
FOUR YEAR OLDS SHOULD NEVER BE IN SCHOOL

[/end rant]

And now onto the second part:

If you could have anyTHING in the world and money was not an object, what would it be and why?

--------

Ponder it then talk amongst yourselves.

]]> =divisal __//Once, twice, three times annoying\\__ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/9717481/ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/9717481/ Sun, 13 Aug 2006 19:53:24 PDT BLADOW!!!

Wow! dA has REALLY changed since i've set foot in this place.
I like it!!

I think i'm going to be coming back full time, sometime soon here.
I miss it and I may have a few things to post for you, so...
BE ON THE LOOK OUT!!!

Not that there are ANY OF YOU still watching this sorry page. Hahaha!
But hopefully, a few loyal ones stuck around for the long haul.

Anyhow, the big day is coming up fast!
I have a little more than 4 months until I tie the knot and it feels like we're NEVER going to get anything done.
We will tho.

Uhm. So yeah.
Tell me whats good in YOUR hood!

-----------------

Btw: Do you ever notice that my titles hardly ever have anything to do with my entry? Heh. Funny. ]]> =divisal __//A little less Rock & Roll\\__ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/8355384/ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/8355384/ Mon, 03 Apr 2006 16:01:51 PDT The Cath-i-nator aka Divisal is back!
Hah.

It's definately been a good while since I even DARED to show my face around here.
I have been busy with TONS of things.

Work
Wedding Plans
Work
Wedding Plans

You know.
Vicious cycle.

Anyways - it's good to be back.
I don't know how many things I will post because basically -
I haven't written anything since my last two posts.
No time to.
I'll try to get back into the swing of things tho.
Just for you.

Hopefully there are still some of you who come around here.
And to those, hope you missed me!

]]> =divisal __//New Post\\__ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/6582779/ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/6582779/ Fri, 23 Sep 2005 15:25:12 PDT I don't know how many of you are going to read it.
I fear my fanbase has dwindled to a few loyal readers, but it doesn't really matter.
I do this because I want to and I know that one day it will get read.
I love you guys!

Anyone want to buy my a subscription?
I'd like to have one, just to see what it was like..and to have the benefits.
I can't do it because I really don't have the money to spend on the side of things I need...so that being said...ANYONE FEELING GENEROUS?

]]> =divisal __//Long time no see\\__ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/6358391/ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/6358391/ Mon, 29 Aug 2005 09:22:09 PDT I've been working on a few things tho and tonight I'll be posting them...if any of you are still watching me that is.
But even if you aren't I'll still be posting.
Hope every one of you are doing grand.
Love you all! ]]> =divisal __//Put a cork in it\\__ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/6032947/ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/6032947/ Mon, 25 Jul 2005 18:19:20 PDT Weekend :
________________________________________ _____________

This weekend was nice.

Friday I had practice and then went to go pick D-man up from work. I can't really remember what all happened Friday night, tho. It's been a few days.

Saturday : Dustin and I went to lunch with Cassi and Billy at Olive Garden. Mmm good. After that, we went back to my house and chilled a little, played games on his phone and talked, then we decided to get in the pool around 5. It was 90 degrees in there, so you couldn't really tell the difference from outside to in the pool without getting out for a few seconds, but it was still nice to be in a pool. That's only the second time I've gotten into my pool this summer. Maybe next summer I'll get in it more. I dunno.We were in there for almost 4 hours then we decided to get something to eat, so we did.

Sunday : We went to church and I got to speak to Billy's parents. I haven't seen them in forever and it was sort of awkward talking to them, but they're really nice people. After services, we had a dinner and had some International Foods, which were quite interesting. I found a few good ones. Actually, everything that I got was a good one. The others looked a little TOO international for me. Hah. After the dinner, Dustin, Amber, Amy and I decided to go to Target so I could get myself an outfit to excercise in. No all I need is sneakers and I'll be set. And, to start my diet today. WOOT! Finally, I'll get to slowly shed the 40 + Lbs I've gained since working at BigButts I mean, Starbucks. After Target, we went to Starbucks to get some drinks and then Amber and I had to take Amy home and force Dustin to start working an hour early. He didn't mind. More Sunday Premium Pay for him, right? [rant] That really bugs me. He's constantly trying to work more hours to get more money, but he gets decent money. He complains if he doesn't get his eight hours in everyday and it drives me insane. He KNOWS I just about GET 8 hours a week and I'm stretching my money from week to week, yet he still complains about his quote/unquote ''lack of money.'' [/rant] After we dropped her off to get her car at my house, Amber and I went to Wal-Mart and then to the mall to look for shirts for her then we went home and chilled with Cassi. After we did that for a little bit, I had to drop a CD off to Alicia then I took Loo home and went to go get D-man. From there we went to the drive-in to go see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory [great movie] and The Island [good, but could have been better]. Then we left and went home. It was about 1:30 2 o'clock when we got home.

Monday :
________________________________________ _____________

Today : I have to go visit Starbucks for 3 of my 10 hours this week. But that's almost okay. I get a big check this week because I worked 24 hrs the previous week. Wee! I need to use it to get my Mom her Birthday presents. I'm excited.

Random :
________________________________________ _____________

OH YEAH! This Wednesday, I'm getting my hair cut. I'm almost positive that I'm just getting a few inches taken off, but the more I think about it, the more I want to do something different with it. I dunno. Marc, what do you think? Haha. I know what you think. Uhm. I think that's all I have to say. Wednesday night Cassi wants to go to the fair so I may do that and next Monday, Thomas is coming up so I have to take off for that. I'm gonna go now. I'm a little hungry.

Peace. ]]> =divisal __//Sum It Up\\__ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/5912857/ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/5912857/ Tue, 12 Jul 2005 10:35:14 PDT Hard Times at Starbucks High

Booya! ]]> =divisal __//White Water Rafting Category - 5\\__ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/5875112/ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/5875112/ Fri, 08 Jul 2005 08:32:26 PDT It was and sort of still is the craziest adventure of my life.
No doubt about it.
I have never had so much craziness happen in 5 days, starting Saturday of this past wknd.
But all in all, it was a good weekend.
My 6 month aversary weekend.

Friday- Dustin and I went out to ''Bugaboo Creek'' to eat. Our second favorite restaurant and then we came back to get some stuff together before we left for MD.

Saturday - We went to Arundel Mills Mall [the biggest mall I've seen and been to] and then to Annapolis Mall. Dustin bought me this really cute outfit at AE in Arundel Mills - shoes and everything and I wore it to church on that Sunday. It is to date, my favorite outfit I've ever owned. We ate at ''The Duclaw'' at Arundel Mills before we went to Annapolis and that was tasty. That was second time there and it became one of our favorites.
We left MD around 7 or 8ish that night and went back to his house to do a few things before I went home.

Sunday - Went to church, came home, had a BBQ for the 4th and chilled with Cooz, Loo, and Dusty and T-Mac came over for a while. Then Dusty, Loo and I went to Wal-Mart because we were bored and then to Wawa before we went back to the house.

Monday - I was supposed to work but I felt horrible so Justin worked by himself from 3 to 7 and Dustin went in for the last hour because they wouldn't let us close Starbucks, even though Dustin had NO customers. Oh well.

Tuesday - We did a whole bunch of stuff. THEN - We played board game, after board game, after board game and had tons of fun with Loo, Cooz, Dusty and Bee Wee [yeah. everyone has a nickname].

Wednesday - We played tons of board games - over and over and over - did a few more things - played more board games - ate a little and played some more.

Thursday - I hung out with my sister the whole day. We haven't done that in 10 million forevers. We just chilled at the house and hung out in her room, listening to music and talking and stuff. It was cool. Then Dustin came over and we played Scrabble and then we went to practice at 5:30pm. Saw Loo there and invited her over. So then it was Cooz, Bee Wee, Loo, Dusty and Me - the now regular crew/gang. Then Dustin and I took Loo home around 12:30 and then night-time crept up on us and took us in.

Now - Friday - I'm just waiting for D-man to come home. I work at 4 today with Josh. I miss working with him. It'll be nice to go back to work. Even tho it sucks that this wks paycheck is only going to be for 4 hours.

I NEED A NEW JOB.

I think that's all of my wknd/wk.
Hope you enjoyed it even tho I left out the drama.

I'm not THAT crazy.

]]> =divisal __//In Other News\\__ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/5710872/ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/5710872/ Tue, 21 Jun 2005 04:56:57 PDT Ammo if you will.
So, I've been warned to watch what I say.
What I do.
Where I go.
All by a helpfull friend, whom I can rely on, who has stuck up for me and doesn't want to see me hurt.
Atleast this person has the decency to ask me if any of this is true other than spreading it around or talking about it to someone besides me.

First of all, assuming is basically getting yourself shot in the butt.
It gets you nowhere.
People who assume things almost always do it for the attention and nothing else.
Why don't people talk about something they know?
Then again, how about no one talk about anyone?
Wouldn't that be great?

I keep my personal life to myself.
If it involves you, you'd know.
If it doesn't, why SHOULD you know?
And what concern is it of yours if I want to keep what's private, private?

I've also been told that my relationships with people need to change.
That I am an adult and not everyone needs to know my business.
So, for a while now, only a few people know things.
My sister and her boyfriend, my cousin and Dustin.
It is not ALL by choice that those are the only four.
I come in contact with them the most.
Therefore, they know the most.
So if your name isn't one of them, and you are talking about things I do, you are basically assuming.
Thinking you know what's going on, but you really don't.

And now, I'm thinking that it would be in your best interest if you just kept your mouth shut about me completely.
If you can't find anything TRUE to talk about, don't speak.
It's really tiring to have to deal with shadiness from work and now I have to deal with it with my ''Christian'' friends.
It's nice to know I have something to look forward to when I come home.

I think that - that's all I have to say.

For now.

]]> =divisal __//Adventure Pt. Uno y Dos\\__ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/5644340/ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/5644340/ Tue, 14 Jun 2005 08:14:25 PDT I CAN tell you that I am test driving cars today with Dustin.
We're just doing it to do it because we want to do something different.

Good reason, eh?

So, for now, this journal will hold some small mystery.

I went to the beach last night.
And got a mysterious fluid on the bottom of my purse.

Maybe that's a little more mystery than you all really wanted to know.

]]> =divisal __//Daddy, can you hold my hand?\\__ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/5578939/ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/5578939/ Tue, 07 Jun 2005 11:01:19 PDT It seems as tho no one can talk to me without somekind of attitude filled response.
Now realizing all of this, I'm sorry.

It used to be okay for me.
I had a Pop-pop to give things to for father's day.
But not this year.
He died in November.
I used to have a Dad too.
He died in January of 95'.
I don't know what to do on this holiday.
Do I celebrate it with the rest of my family?
They all have dad's with the exception of my mom and her sisters.
I wonder if they'll feel like me.
Empty.
Lost.
Jealous of the ones with fathers.

It didn't hit me until last night that father's day is coming when I saw an older man and a younger woman walking thru the parking lot of Bob Evans.
I can only assume that it was his daughter.
They walked with his arm around her and her head on his chest and she looked up and smiled at him as he kissed her on the top of her head.
I started to cry.
I think of all of my friends and their dads.
I think of how they all seem to take their dads for granted sometimes.
They fail to realize that our parents are only here for a short time while we are.
I wish that I could show them what it's like to not have one.
Some of my friends don't have good relationships with their fathers and I wish they would change all of that.

I was close to my Dad while he was here with me.
He taught me to hear harmony and it's because of him that harmony lines are the only things I hear in every song.
He taught me how to play piano at the age of 2 and now I can play by ear.
He inspired me to take up guitar and so my mom let me have his guitar and now I have my own.
I wanted to take up bass after that, and now I have his bass and I was taught a few things.
A friend says I'm a natural.
That's what the bassist in my Dad's band told him.
He took my sister and I to church when we were two and now we are still in the same church because of him.
He taught me how to love my future spouse.
He taught me how to live and treat life.
He taught me that we're only here for a few moments and we must live like every moment is our last.

So this is my tribute to my father, or atleast what's going to keep me sane thru this holiday.
I love him like he was here holding me and I will until the day I leave this place.

But I guess this is also my plea to you who have fathers.
Cherish them.
Love them.
Want them.
NEED them, because it's not for certain how long they will be here.

That's it. ]]> =divisal _//Dinner Pt. 2 + Nonsense + Q & A Pt. 11\\_ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/5566664/ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/5566664/ Mon, 06 Jun 2005 03:51:40 PDT

Dinner

Dinner was a success!

He loved it.
Well, of course he would.
It was special.
It was the first time I had cooked for him and the first time we had stayed home for our anniversary.
I wasn't a big fan of the Thai Chicken Pizza, but he liked it.
He said it was different.
We BOTH loved the Ceasar Salad, the tarts that Coozy and Loo made, and the Orange Slush that I helped make.
Cassi and Amber are great.
They helped out a lot.
I love you both!

Nonsense

My eye is sore.
It's been hurting, now, for the past three days.
I'm not really sure what's wrong with it.
My right eye lid is all swollen and stuff and it's sore to the touch and a little when I blink.
My sister thinks it's a bug bite.
My friend Thomas thinks it's just swollen just to swell, because his eye ''did that once.''
My boyfriend has NO clue what's wrong with it - he just wants it to feel better.
So, I think I should seek some professional medical attention if it doesn't go away, in say, a day.
I'm pretty sure my sister is right.
I can feel a bump on it.
I dunno.
I've probably grossed half of you out.

More Nonsense

We're in the process of opening our pool.
Woo! Right?
I mean, I should be.
This is the first time we've EVER owned a pool.
We always ended up going to Amy's house when we wanted to swim, or my sisters house used to be [where our house is now] to swim.
Eh.
I'm still semi-NOT excited.
Here are a few reasons I am semi-NOT excited:

Reason #1:
I hate bathing suits.

Reason #2:
I hate going shopping for them and trying them on.
I told myself that I was going to lose the 20 Lbs that I gained in the last six months before I even LOOKED at or THOUGHT about buying a bathing suit. It's not noticable, really, that I even GAINED weight. I just know I have.

Reason #3:
I can't swim.
I can swim well enough to keep me alive, but as far as that goes, you can foget it.

Reason #4:
We have to share the pool.
It'd be okay and cool if it was with my brother and his wife.
But they have 5 kids under 12 and that's NOT cool.
That means, less pool time for us because they'll want to ALWAYS be in the pool.
I'm about to set up a time sheet and have ALL of them sign it, stating that they will abide by the alloted times they all have.

Reasons to be excited:

Reason Numero Uno:
It will help get me through that unbareable summer heat.

Reason Numero Dos:
I can finally get some color to my pink, pasty and pale skin.

[ nudges Amy ]

Reason Numero Tres:
It will give me that much needed excercise.

Reason Numero Cuatro:
It will give me something to do on my days off or before I go to work, instead of sitting home or sleeping here.

Reason Numero Cinco:
Whirlpools!

Reason Numero Seis:
Marco - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -POLO!

Reason Numero Siete:
Pool Parties!

JK.

And that's about it.

http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/5519596/ Wed, 01 Jun 2005 08:52:38 PDT So -
I'm cooking him dinner.
He always surprises me and takes me out to my favorite places to eat and to do other things, but I never do that for him, so this time he told me to surprise him and I knew exactly what I was going to do.
Cook.
So, last Thursday, Loo [~deesse-feerique ] and I took my paycheck and bought everything I needed to cook him a full 3 course meal.
We had to buy it that day, because if I didn't, the money would have went elsewhere.
Anyway, so we bought the stuff, took it to my house and put a black ''X'' on everything that was mine, so no one would eat it.
At my house, if you don't write your name on it, it gets eaten by my Mom's fiance'.
But enough of stupid things -
I had a scare with a few of the food things.
I thought for SURE Kenny had eaten [the fiance'] the ice cream but my Mom had hid it SO he wouldn't eat it.
Heh.
Loo and I were ticked when we thought he ate it.
Ah well.
But anyway -
I am supposed to cook today, even though I still need:
Chicken
Sugar Cookies
Bananas
Not really sure how I'm going to go about getting them with absolutely no money.
I guess I'm going to have to be REALLY nice to my mom and kindly ask her for a small bit of cash flow.
Don't know how well THAT's going to work.
Hopefully it will all work out well.

On a better note -
Here's another one of my new favorite songs.
It's from the movie: ''Say Anything.''
It's in the part when they're at the beach in the car and when Lloyd holds up the stereo outside of Diane's window.
So here.
Enjoy.

---

love - I get so lost, sometimes
days pass and this emptiness fills my heart
when I want to run away
I drive off in my car
but whichever way I go
I come back to the place you are

all my instincts, they return
and the grand facade, so soon will burn
without a noise, without my pride
I reach out from the inside

in your eyes
the light the heat
in your eyes
I am complete
in your eyes
I see the doorway to a thousand churches
in your eyes
the resolution of all the fruitless searches
in your eyes
I see the light and the heat
in your eyes
oh, I want to be that complete
I want to touch the light
the heat I see in your eyes

love - I don't like to see so much pain
so much wasted and this moment keeps slipping away
I get so tired of working so hard for our survival
I look to the time with you to keep me awake and alive

and all my instincts, they return
and the grand facade, so soon will burn
without a noise, without my pride
I reach out from the inside

in your eyes
the light the heat
in your eyes
I am complete
in your eyes
I see the doorway to a thousand churches
in your eyes
the resolution of all the fruitless searches
in your eyes
I see the light and the heat
in your eyes
oh, I want to be that complete
I want to touch the light,
the heat I see in your eyes
in your eyes in your eyes
in your eyes in your eyes
in your eyes in your eyes

=In Your Eyes=
-Peter Gabriel-
>So and Say Anything Soundtrack< ]]> =divisal __// I Wanna Be Your Man \\__ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/5481114/ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/5481114/ Fri, 27 May 2005 22:10:28 PDT The story behind the title and the song.
This coutesy clerk at work named Chris always sings to me when I work.
It's hilarious because he always sings these love songs to me.
For a while he's been singing this song to me and I've never heard it before.
Well, one night when Justin and I closed Starbucks, Chris took us out to his car to listen to this song and Justin and I laughed through what we heard.
I must say - you have to download it to understand why we laughed.
Now - I'm like in love with the song.
How ironic.
Anyway, here's the song.
Heh.

---

Hey Lady....
Let me tell u why
I can't live my life without u (Awww baby)
Everytime i see u walkin by i can not breathe
U don't understand but in time you will
I must make u understand

I wanna be your man (I gonna be Your Man)
I wanna be your man ( Yes I do baby )
I wanna be your man ( I wanna be your man)
I wanna be your man (I wanna be your man)

U better not pass me by
Cuz if you do, u'll loose a good thing (oooooh Baby)
Cuz what i've got to say is sealed with a kiss
and a wedding ring (wedding ring)
My mind is blind at times i can't see anyone but you
Those other girls don't matter no they can't spoil my view
I must make u understand

I wanna be your man (I gonna be Your Man)
I wanna be your man ( Yes I do baby )
I wanna be your man ( I wanna be your man)
I wanna be your man (I wanna be your man)
I wanna be your man (I gonna be Your Man)
I wanna be your man ( Yes I do baby )
I wanna be your man ( I wanna be your man)
I wanna be your man (I wanna be your man)

Words can never say what i feel Its too intense
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh ohhhhhh
I tried - I tried - I tried - I tried to tell u how i feel
But i get mixed up (soooooo mixed up)
My mind is blind at times i can't see anyone but u
Those other girls don't matter no they can't spoil my view
I must make u understand

I wanna be your man (I gonna be Your Man)
I wanna be your man ( Yes I do baby )
I wanna be your man ( I wanna be your man)
I wanna be your man (I wanna be your man)

-I Wanna Be Your Man-
=Roger Troutman= ]]> =divisal __//Cheers to: New Beginnings\\__ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/5397006/ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/5397006/ Wed, 18 May 2005 23:30:42 PDT No more 'Starbucks Barsista Catherine.'
Tho I suppose it will be better off this way.
No more putting up with the crap from the girls and no more crap from a few customers.
Want the story?
You're in for a good one.

Ever since I've worked there, it has been understood that I needed off on Sundays [for church], Wednesday evenings after 6pm [for church], and Friday nights after 4:30pm [for Worship practice].
The first few months were fine.
Things were going as need be.
Then school started up again and everyone needed to be off at certain times and they wanted to have off on certain times/days so I had to become: ''The Filler.''
We all know what THAT job description says.
So, I did.
I worked a few Sunday afternoons.
No biggie.
THEN, certain people wanted off on Wednesdays AND Fridays, so I had to start doing both.
By that time, Sunday nights were done with and I didn't nor haven't had to work them for a while.
Wednesdays I worked from 10:30am to 7pm and stayed until 8pm to help Dustin clean. [He worked from 11:30 to 8pm]
I didn't really mind.
It was 8hrs more pay.
I wasn't really complaining.
Fridays were a different story.
While school was in session, yeah.
I could understand that they wanted a day off to just relax from work and school, and at the time, I thought: ''I understand why they would want Friday off. I'll just work anyway.''
Then, they figured that I'd ALWAYS work Friday nights and it became a regular thing to see me scheduled for Friday nights.

Well, a few weeks ago the new 'Availability for Summer '05' came out and we were going to start it early because a few people needed to have a certain amount of hours A.S.A.P.
[For reasons that are STILL unclear to me.]
So, I put it that I'd still like Sundays off, Wednesdays after 6 and Friday's after 4:30.
Followed?
No.
Of course not.
Reasoning?
They feel that I should go through the same things they went through when they started working.
That they couldn't have off when they wanted to have off so I can't either.
Hmm.
Shady point #1.

Also, Josh said that he could work anytime on Fridays and Wednesdays, but they STILL scheduled me to work the nights that I wanted off.
I even said that I'd work in the mornings, but no one likes doing nights.
I'm usually and have been the one getting the night shifts and I haven't minded but it has gotten so rediculous.
Shady point #2.

Amber and Dani always write the schedule because they feel that Dustin would be bias towards me because we are dating.
Point understood, but there has been NO TIME, WHATSOEVER that a situation has come up and he was bias towards me.
Never.
And even when he DID write the schedule, I STILL got the least amount of hours BECAUSE I was the last one hired.
Understandable.
And the only time I really ever worked with him was when I was training and on Wednesdays, and they even TOLD him that we were not going to be working together because it might cause problems.
Shady point #3.

On Monday, Danielle confronted Dustin about a few things to do with me and none of them really had ANYTHING to do with me.
First thing: Grand-ma was upset that she wasn't getting enough hours. [ So Dani says ]
Sound like a problem with me?
No.
But Dani of course made it about me.
A few times I was late to work on a Wednesday mornings and Grand-ma was late to her piano lessons.
But that was only like 2 times out of the 13 wks I worked on Wednesdays, and one time, my car broke down!
Apparently THAT time was irresposible of me.
Second thing: One Saturday morning when whomever was working in the morning came in, nothing was stocked and I had worked the night before with Josh.
She said, and I quote: ''Well, we expect it from Josh. Cathy needs to get with the program and get things done.''
Excuse me.
I do.
As a matter of fact, I remember that Friday.
OH YEAH!
I HAD TO DEAL WITH TWO CUSTOMERS THAT WERE SEXUALLY HARRASSING ME!
NO WONDER THERE WASN'T ANYTHING FLIPPING DONE!
I COULDN'T WORK AFTER THAT!
Shady point #4.

You guys will just love this next one.
The night that I was harrassed, I was working with Josh.
The whole time:
He said nothing.
And tonight, it happened again.
Same regular customer, same time.
I was working with Justin tonight.
And guess what?
He said NOTHING!
Shady?
Yes.
Shady point #5.
Not only that, but Justin even told me HIMSELF, that if it happened to Danielle, he'd ''blow up.''
I guess that - that only works for... ]]> =divisal __//The long way home\\__ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/5337679/ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/5337679/ Thu, 12 May 2005 10:24:26 PDT driving
talking
smiling
laughing
while we passed street signs and dimly lit houses
going no more than 30 miles per hour
while my heart raced as you held my hand.
We drove for over an hour on backroads that niether of us knew
while darkness settled on the ground around the car
on the stop signs and stop lights
railroad tracks and parked cars
finding the only light to be the clock -
the flourescent green of envious numbers -
slowing to catch every minute.
The moon and the stars
the crickets and the birds
watched and sang to us
as we talked about whatever our hearts desired -
you - me and
me - you.
Streetlights came our way and we found our way to familiar streets that led us back home
and we talked about the roads we took
the places we saw
and how we were lost
and niether of us noticed that our hands were now numb
and still holding on
to that long way home. ]]> =divisal __//Something a little more personal\\__ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/5309573/ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/5309573/ Mon, 09 May 2005 09:17:05 PDT Yes.
Journals are a private thing, but I feel the need to show him to you.
Many of you don't even know him, so giving you a glimpse into his heart is what I'm going to do.

''Sat. May 7, 05

As I sit here thinking while you are not with me,i'm looking at our pictures and I think of what 4 months into a relationship feels like. I did NOT think it would be like this. We are with eachother all of the time and when we are not, we wish we were. I could not ask for anything else than you. It's so good to find out what real love is. For me to feel that towards you and you towards me. I have never felt like that. It is wonderful. You always ask me ''How do you love me and why?'' - and I have found out that Love is blind and you can't put it into words. I am sitting here and I just have a sweet peace thinking of you and knowing that even though you are not here, I can still love you.

I LOVE YOU, CATHY!''

Of course I cried.
All of you that know me should know that.

Sometimes I wonder what I did good to deserve him and other times I'm just so happy to be with him, I can't stop pouring my heart out to him.
It's sort of silly sounding and I told him that, but he told me that it wasn't.
That it was pure and true and it made him feel good to hear it.
I don't think I could imagine the past 4-5 mnths any differently.

Anyway, before I get TOO heartfelt, I'll just stop here. ]]> =divisal __//Elastic Wannabe\\__ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/5251024/ http://divisal.deviantart.com/journal/5251024/ Mon, 02 May 2005 20:25:48 PDT Mood:

POOF!

I REALLY wish my allergies would do that.
I've been fighting them for days now and they won't just chill for a few.
Meh.
It could be worse I guess.
Anyway, I just had my 4 mnth aversary.
[Aversary is what you say because Anni = year and it hasn't been a year yet. Atleast that's what Justin from work told me. He's picky. Heh.]
But yeah.
4 mnths.
I'm excited.
It's going great.

Something else new, I want to cut my hair.
Not really sure HOW I want to cut it, I just know that I want to cut it.
Oh yeah.
And I want to beat someone up.
Yeah.
I'm a nice girl.
But don't get mad at me over stupid crap!
Okay.
Here's the scenario.

Dustin and I go out to breakfast and I wanted tea after, so we stopped at work to get someone.
We walk in and I look at Danielle.
Something about her looks different.
So I ask her: ''Is there something different about you, Danielle?''
Keep in mind that I don't think she likes me too much for reasons that aren't clear to me.
I've never done anything to this girl.
So I already have no use for her - I'm just trying to be nice.
ANYWAY, she replies: ''I dyed my hair back to it's original colour.''
My reply: ''No, I don't think that's it.''
Her reply: ''Well, when I dye my hair back to it's natural colour, it makes me look tanner.''
Me: ''Nope. That's not it. Are you wearing make-up?''
Her: ''No. I'm not wearing any make-up at all.''
Me: ''That's it.''
Her:

And a ''I can't believe you just said that'' look to go with the eye roll.
Justin: ''You should poke her eye out for that one. [hahaha]''
Her: ''I can't. She has her glasses on.'' And she cuts me her version of a dirty look.
Me: ''I never said it looked bad. You look fine. It's just that you look different. THAT'S ALL!''
[What I was thinking: I'm going to go over there and punch her in her flippin' jaw.''

Okay.
So am I COMPLETELY wrong in saying that THAT is the most rediculus thing to be mad about?
Girls!
I swear!
I really don't understand that one.
That wouldn't offend me at all.

So this is the basis for my question.

Would you be offended if this happened to you?
Honestly.

I'm still confused.
Hence the sumo emoticon.
I could take her skinny rump too.
UGH!

On a better note, my car is better.
Wee-haw!
Now I'll be able to ride off into the sunset.

Hey Loo!
Are you still working on that story?

Got any cool stories to tell me?
Anyone?
Everyone?
Okay.
I'll wait for you.
Waiting.
Still waiting.
Oh yeah.
I have to submit this thing.
Heh.

]]> =divisal