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]]> ~doomsday666 http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/4039610/ http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/4039610/ Sat, 11 Dec 2004 01:46:38 PST mood:
music: Iced Earth - Dante's Inferno
reading: Justina Robson - Mappa Mundi
action: drowning in self-pity, depression and loneliness


I think I could die.
I'm cold - fucking winter, depressed tendency getting worse, alone, my dad keeps annoying me, my mon is sick, and college isn't anything to make me happy.
Inspiration may be with me ocacionally but I haven't much fun or any satisfaction drawing.

I just feel like being in and building my own labyrinth of depression, hate and self-loathing.... and me in between, clueless, alone.

This journal is so pathetic what crap am I writing these days!


What am I complaining, I could be seriously sick, and there are still worse scenarios for me *knocks on wood*.



Club I'm in
And I adopted this one [link] owned by ~doomsday666 http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/3773752/ http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/3773752/ Sun, 07 Nov 2004 05:36:46 PST mood:
music: Iced Earth - Question of Heaven
reading: MacBeth
action: feeling sick and fearing tomorrow


Peace!
I'm not having that much fun these days... I feel not well... and my dad again is troubling me.
college started again and also I met some nice people it's still annoying. I want a life dammit! But his seems to be all I get.

It's cold here now, not only that I hate autumn when everything is dying, leaving only skelletons of the trees behind, no the cold will also do its part in adding to the depressive mood.

I'm trying to get as much art done as I can... but I'm not having much fun with most of the works... maybe I start finishing the colouring of Setoneph.

Watched the first 2 seasons of Transformers and now the first 2 DVD of the 3rd and I love it, call me a I couldn't care less, I'm an addict now.

has drawn Kessar for me... , go worship him [link] (both twhord and Kessar XD)

~doomsday666 http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/3547321/ http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/3547321/ Sat, 09 Oct 2004 03:42:20 PDT

Depression struck again...

Autumn has come and everything is dying and this doesn't make things better....
At least I'm healthy (*knocks on wood*)...

I don't know what to write else. ]]> ~doomsday666 http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/3411200/ http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/3411200/ Tue, 21 Sep 2004 01:52:17 PDT ]]> ~doomsday666 http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/3367118/ http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/3367118/ Wed, 15 Sep 2004 03:05:02 PDT mood:
music: Apocalyptica
reading: Der Hexer von Salem 5
action: trying to get an online RPG running und writen 5DR




Peace!

Not much happened and most what happened wasn't connected to real life, but anywayz better than nothin'.

Believe it or not there's a certain hope on the horizon that there'll be an onlineRPG in my life again.
I'm working on it with .
It will be called Otherworld and take place in an alternate SciFi an Fantasy dimension.

I also joined but I wonder when I have the first picture to submit .




Oh and one thing else, I never got any kiriban in my whole life, anything, neverm but the Gods of Onlinefortuities discovered me.
I got two.

The 5000th from
and the 2000th from ~doomsday666 http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/3216764/ http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/3216764/ Thu, 26 Aug 2004 11:59:59 PDT mood:
music: nothin'
reading: Der Hexer von Salem 3
action: typing journal




Peace!

Oh well, This journal wont be as derpressive as the one before.
Not much happened and most what happened wasn't connected to real life, but anywayz better than nothin'.

Drama first, 's cute little koi yoshi disappeard in my pond, probably eaten by some other fishes ("Wels" in German but the dictonary didn't know it either ), poor little thing. To make it even better another one disappeared at the start of this week.

I finally have some RPG group again, we're playing Call of Cthulhu in the now and here and oh well it was kinda an escalation maybe our charas were a bit too bishonen... uhm.. well the GM has taken it good so far, sometimes he get's a little green around the nose, but everything else is fine XD.

I bought FireWarrior for the PS2 last week for 20€ and it's really great, if you like Warhammer 40k you should play it. I bounced alot . After the first crappy levels it gets really goth, and oh there are Space Marines... and Chaos Space Marines and you're only a blue little Tau...

DOOMDOOMDOOMDOOMDOOMDOOMDOOMDOOMDOOMDOOM DOOMDOOMDOOMDOOMDOOMDOOMDOOMDOOMDOOMDOOM DOOMD... ]]> ~doomsday666 http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/2877297/ http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/2877297/ Wed, 14 Jul 2004 01:29:19 PDT mood:
music: nothin'
reading: nothin'
action: typing journal




Peace!

So I'm finally one year older - but not wiser.
And I don't wanna believe me.

Now it's 23 years and still nothing worked in my life. No job no training, no clue...
And now I sit here and wonder - not why, I know who fucked it all up: me myself I - about what'll be. I brought matriculation-documents to university, yesterday, so that in case I get no job, I (my parents) still get children's allowence because I get kicked out of geology because I did the wrong things knowingly...

If one only could change the past...

Well, next looser-branch of study will be meteorology (<- spell?), I should have kept up geology, cause this is terrible. What do I care about weather?! Main-thing it rains, everything else does not concern me.

So this journal is maybe the worst pathetic crap I ever wrote...
Shit.








Still no hope and no future but at least I live and have friends *hugs friends*...


Club I'm in
And I adopted this one [link] owned by

Now that I know how to get the icons done I'll do some friends list soon, but not today. ]]> ~doomsday666 http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/2744623/ http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/2744623/ Sat, 10 Jul 2004 02:26:13 PDT mood:
music: Tristania
reading: Call of Cthulhu RPG
action: typing journal


PEace!

There'll be RPG soon!
Call of Cthulhu
And through the time I wait for the first game I'll play Eternal Darkness - a friend lend me her Gamecube - yeah, talk about sanity .



Still no hope and no future but at least I live and have friends *hugs friends*...


Club I'm in
And I adopted this one [link] owned by

Now that I know how to get the icons done I'll do some friends list soon, but not today. ]]> ~doomsday666 http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/2672520/ http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/2672520/ Wed, 16 Jun 2004 07:20:43 PDT mood:
music: Album Once by Nightwish
reading: The Godfather
action: typing journal


Well, well, it's been a while since the last journal... not that I care...

I got the new Nightwish Album today and what can I say, it's awesome! Need good music?
Go get it!

There'll be Tekken 5 someday and I'm waiting...

Got Legacy of Kainefiance, it's cool if there were only better level designers working on it.

Finally played through Castlevania:LoI... oh how I hate Walter an that stupid Death-wanna-be... . The abortion in the basement will be next .

Still no hope and no future but at least I live and have friends *hugs friends*...




Club I'm in

Now that I know how to get the icons done I'll do some friends list soon, but not today. ]]> ~doomsday666 http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/2328398/ http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/2328398/ Sat, 15 May 2004 03:53:42 PDT mood:
music: Overpaid by Deine Lakaien
reading: First they killed my father by Luong Ung
action: trying to get healthy and trying to keep sane


PEace!

Has been a while since the last journal.

I try to stop smoking but I'm not very successful, seems I have too try harder.

I've seen my first Tekken5 srean shots and all I can say is FINALLY, I wait for it since September 02 (when I got T4 ) and I think it was worth waiting.

Got assimilated by Transformers fandom . I'm not sure why maybe infected me with the feared TFVirus not that I'm angry or else .
Thinking about making up a fan character. Yeah you hate fan characters.
We hate them all execpt out own http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/2252890/ Mon, 19 Apr 2004 01:04:02 PDT music: White Rabbit - Jefferson Airplane
mood:
action: soon writing more candidacies
reading: nothing to read at hand


All crap.
I'm tired, looking like shit and feeling the same. Good thing I have to make passport photographs soon.
Hopefully the labour office got my school-attestations I emailed them on friday I don't dare to trust in the capabilities of that institution.

I hope I have nerves to draw again this noon... but as I now myself and my life I'll end up playing FF9 like I did the week before.

Nothing interessting happened... ]]> ~doomsday666 http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/2212444/ http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/2212444/ Tue, 13 Apr 2004 04:38:49 PDT
If you do so please read and review this [link] it's one of NKS' works and she really deserves more credit.

If you don't like yaoi it's okay, we're tolenrant but spare us your flames because: Flames will be forced to inhale Heihachi's farts. ]]> ~doomsday666 http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/2176043/ http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/2176043/ Thu, 08 Apr 2004 00:58:18 PDT mood:
music: nothing
action: trying to wake up
reading: RPG-books


Yeah, comps working again.

Had an interview for a training as photographer on April 1st. No joke.
Aww, it would be a wonderfull place to work: Easy to reach by train and tram, vocational school would be just few 100 meters away... wonderful isn't it.
But not for me 'cause I got told I don't want it enough...

Had another on monday. as 'hearing aid builder' (Sorry, my dictionary can't come up with the right term, sorry.
Anywayz, I'll have a mini on-the-job-training at the end of this month, along with lot's of other peoples... so exclude me getting the job.

MOST of the candidacies came back as disaffirmations, the others tell me that they decide for ther trainingships later this year...
Well if I got a disaffirmation, now or in summer... what makes the difference?!

There'll be some Paper & Pencil RPG this weekend... finally.
I'll have to be GM but well... it's the only game I endure it.
Problem is, I'm the only one who's really bouncing with energy for playing... So most likely I will make an idiot out of me.

But well I'll be a much bigger idiot stitting on the street with no job and being kick out from the university and with the nagging voice in my head telling me it's all my fault...

Tried to draw again... and you now what?!? Fuck it!
I wont do it again, so soon.
So the only stuff you can see here will be my ranting and selfpity. A cronological enumeration of failure.
Have fun. ]]> ~doomsday666 http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/2066652/ http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/2066652/ Tue, 23 Mar 2004 01:33:52 PST mood:
music: nothing
action: reinstalling crap
reading: nothing


Yeah, comps working again, at least it boots.
Yesterday it had connection to the Internet, today it had none, till nothing important was done except boot it for the x time out of no better ideas and than it worked but still gave the message 'not connected'.

Still no job, hope or anything.
And yeah after loosing the ability to draw it seems like my abillity to write left me too. If I can't write after 12AM when else.
Fuck.

So the only stuff you can see here will be my ranting and selfpity.
Have fun. ]]> ~doomsday666 http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/2060110/ http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/2060110/ Mon, 22 Mar 2004 04:28:48 PST mood:
music: Mad World
action: writing candidacies
reading: nothing


Still no job, comp still down, and I'm not really motivated to reinstall every crap again only to have it crash a week later again.

I'm not drawing by the way and even it I did I couldn't scan anyway.
And I'm not sure when to draw again... maybe never... had a disaster killing what was left of my ambitions yesterday. ]]> ~doomsday666 http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/2028665/ http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/2028665/ Wed, 17 Mar 2004 07:34:46 PST mood:
music: Apokalyptica
action: writing candidacies
reading: some Y-candy from NKS


Nothings going on here. Still no traininship and still nothing drawn. Besides my comp died again and I dare blaming the AMD processor .
Noone wants to buy my Castlevania:LoI and I
m playing wih the thought of selling FFX2, too 'cause I doubt playing it a lot further. ]]> ~doomsday666 http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1996596/ http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1996596/ Fri, 12 Mar 2004 01:37:56 PST mood:
music: Nevermore - Heartcollector


The Heart Collector

To see the actor without tears
Dark rivers carve the years between the lines of self control
In my psychotic karmic fear,I own your tears anyway
And I am you and we are not afraid

And we won't be here for long
The heart collector sings his song that's slowly boiling over

Nevermore to feel the pain
The heart collector sang
And I won't be feeling hollow for so long
Nevermore to feel the pain
The words fall out like fire
Just believe when you can't believe anymore

The stage is empty now
I hope we hold and cannot allow
the corrupt eclectic takes his fatal bow

And we won't be here for long
The heart collector sings his song again

Nevermore to feel the pain
The heart collector sang
And I won't be feeling hollow for so long
Nevermore to feel the pain
The words fall out like fire
Just believe when you can't believe anymore

(C) by Nevermore ]]> ~doomsday666 http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1990757/ http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1990757/ Thu, 11 Mar 2004 02:16:41 PST mood:
music: Simon and Garfunkel - Sound of Silence


Trying to decide what programms I need on the laptop and hoping that they'll work, it'll be stupid to look after every word my empty brain lacks in an non-digital dictionary.

Plus I'm cursing the Labour Office for being that slow and not sending me the day before yesterday requested adresses .

What else... read some really good stuff from novalon ([link]) which reminded me that I also wanted to write a lot. That'S what I'm preparing the laptop for 'cause I can't write in peace in my room, with my parents around taking at me making me forget whatever sentence was in my mind a splitsecond before... -> mega-annoying.

Well anywayz...


I'm glad I found this icon... butterflys can be such a horrifying metaphor...
*heehee*INSANE*
++++

Sorry for updating that journal that much had tons of faults in it *sigh* ]]> ~doomsday666 http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1979099/ http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1979099/ Tue, 09 Mar 2004 06:50:30 PST mood:
music: Silent Hill - Hometown


Writing candidacies sucks beyond believe!

You do not know what to come and all you can do is sit and wait what makes you real sick. And while waiting you figure thousand things which can go wrong really it's one of the best ways directly into the lunatic asylum .

I'd like to draw but all recent attemps had to be thrown in the trash can.
And it's unfair 'cause I really want to draw not only for me but also for certain others to whom I promised some pictures .
And of course I know who's to blame for all that shit: me .

Yeah and again I'm whimpering in public about my problems, I'll better stop now before I can't stand my self at all... ]]> ~doomsday666 http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1972021/ http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1972021/ Mon, 08 Mar 2004 02:58:47 PST mood:
music: Marilyn Manson - Sick City


Played through FFX2 yesterday, needed about 5 days, for uhm.... 89%... I think (*can't remember*). And now I feel like ranting about it, that's that simple .
You find savepoints throughout the whole farplane which also give you the option 'return to aitship' which is really a good thing. You have to battle Shiva, Magus Trio and Anima... Magus Trio is the hardest and not even that is a real problem.
After that blossom field you enter the lastst level (and it's child ) which is totally annoying, I found some piano things which totally overcharged my broken brain. Anywayz after Jumping over several infrared barriers you wencounter some Dragon-thing (the same model that guarded Mount Gagazat peak in FFX Auron: "It comes."). This abortion allmost caused me some serious brain cancer, you battle it forever and it completly sucks!
Then when it's finally gone you run some screans along and what do you find? Dipshits twin infront of a muchly apreciated savepoint, so all the annoying fight again.
Then you find a field of floating pillars, on which you have to play a certain melody to proceed - I was short to throw something out of the window. But thanks to NKS who had a plan and guided me through I made it to the other end.
Than you meet with all the other jumping jacks an develop the uber-super-plan to take Vegnagun apart, you start with it's tail.
I thought ... but very soon the multifunctional kitchen tool's tail fell of. While you hear Auron and Braska intruct you not to give up, unfortunately Jecht (I don't have the words to discribe my disaffirmation for him properly) doesn't stay quiet.
Anywayz Yuna spots the Leblanc gang in trouble so up to them.
Here you encounter a feet from the multifunctional kitchen tool and three orbs which look like traffic lights, I thought 'okay that's it, prepare to die girls', and snip the leg fell off O_o.
Than Gippel and Nooj (<-Idiot) have probs with the multifunctional kitchen tool's middle section. Into the next fight: Auron, Braska and Jecht completely refuse to shut up now, while I though 'okay that's it, prepare to die girls, now it will do it's overkill-attac'. It didn't and went down as non-impressive as it's predecessor parts did.
Somewhere Sephiroth must cry bitter tears... came to my mind.

Last part: Battle Shuyin
Shuyin made me realise how much I like Tidus, by being such a miserable copy.
Mega-enemies playing organ in a psychotic way are very old I'd say + a colourful and 'hip' design like that gruesome.
The fac... ]]> ~doomsday666 http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1965641/ http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1965641/ Sun, 07 Mar 2004 00:41:21 PST mood:
music: Deine Lakaien - Lonely (accoustic version)


*sigh*
*stares daydreamingly behind the screan*
My brain!! It would really be helpfull if I'd change the music... at least if I want to have somewthing else in mind than an angsting Kaine....

*Thinks about other music* .....

God forgive me, I created a monster!

Everybody please be nice to the mentally disturbed .... ]]> ~doomsday666 http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1960785/ http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1960785/ Sat, 06 Mar 2004 06:04:00 PST mood:
music: Marilyn Manson - Last day on earth ]]> ~doomsday666 http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1954412/ http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1954412/ Thu, 04 Mar 2004 23:54:10 PST ~doomsday666 http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1936959/ http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1936959/ Tue, 02 Mar 2004 00:37:58 PST
My computer is working again !
The C:/ drive was fried somehow nothing worked, but now old C:/ is replaced by a new one which is far bigger and faster, it takes no minute now to boot the mashine.

What else?
Yesterday a nice little laptop joined our household *yeeeha!* maybe now I'll write more, now that I can't do that whereever I please.

Oh... uhm... and ... I got FFX2... and I'm kinda glued to the screen.

bought a new sketchbook, too but if it's going on like it did before and I'm not satisfied or pleased with every single piece I don't now when I'll update again.
Sorry. ]]> ~doomsday666 http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1924607/ http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1924607/ Sun, 29 Feb 2004 00:52:18 PST
]]> ~doomsday666 http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1897155/ http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1897155/ Tue, 24 Feb 2004 00:32:51 PST ]]> ~doomsday666 http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1875751/ http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1875751/ Fri, 20 Feb 2004 01:51:02 PST
Thanks that somehow my journal got eaten...

I hope that my condition is becoming better slowly, at least now I'm finally hungry again... but there's nothing to eat in the fridge - my mom's an eco and my dad a diabetic - so if you're not a rabbit or a cat (cat-food... the worst smell ever!), you wont eat it.
And if I try to boil rice you better call the state security to rise the alarm-level...

Why am I boring you with that crap... maybe because nothing special or interesting happened...


NKS is going on vacations next week, this eve will be the last I see her 'till she returns...

I know I will survive it (1 weak isn't that long...) but I can't believe it.
I'm 22 and that premature *sigh*

Maybe I'll play through FFVII, thinking of unchaste things Vince could do with Cloud or/and Sephiroth , or I try how far I can throw Castlevania:LoI 'cause that's much wiser than playing it (or buying it ).
Or I'll find some money and buy FFX-2...


Well, I have a picture to draw... ]]> ~doomsday666 http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1853727/ http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1853727/ Mon, 16 Feb 2004 05:42:00 PST I can't say if I'm getting better or not 'cause my condition is unstable.

But I'm drawing again, not with the vim I had maybe before but it's better than nothing, I guess .
This gallery wont die

Oh and do yourself a favour an do NOT BUY Castlevania: Lament of Innocence. I did and regret it. After knowing that Capcom was able to create something almost perfect like DMC1 I thought, well than KONAMI could do even or better.... --> wrong. Totally wrong.
I spent 59€ for a game that is boring, bleak, has the most cliche storyline ever, monotonous levels, frustrating endbosses (Walter and Death), no targeting but instead a parry-function noone ever needed. ]]> ~doomsday666 http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1831446/ http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1831446/ Thu, 12 Feb 2004 02:55:12 PST .
A good friend own a Game Cube and short later Eternal Darkness and I'm bewhitched by it.
I'll sit on his couch staring at the screan and absorb every little sick detail and the great atmosphere .
I'm a fan of the Ctulu theme for years now but I never had such a good access to it like with that formidable game.
And of course it's a great source of inpiration .

What else...
After almost loosing my sanity during the weekend and the last few days, I think I'm getting slowly better by now. I have vacation now and i'll do nothing but relax myself for the next weeks. I don't want to get this kind of sick ever again.
For compesation I'm getting a fierce cold once again, but compared to the other problems I gladly welcome it.

I don't know what happened with my applications butg honestly I don't care. If I don't get it, I'll stay at university, maybe that's what I should have done all along.... I can't think about this now when I want to stay sane.

The only real problem is that my dad () is home too, and after talking 3 sentences with him I could have exploded in an instant.
*sigh* ]]> ~doomsday666 http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1816266/ http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1816266/ Mon, 09 Feb 2004 03:28:54 PST
I was busy around candidacies for apprenticeship when I found something really interesting... bookseller... I called and was told the place wasn't occupied yet, so I got myself writing a candidacy immediately which I'm going to deliver today in person this afternoon.

I can't believe I should have luck one time in my life, so I almost don't dare to hope it may be successful. *sigh*

I really want this job but my imagination is building up horror-visions of what to come.
I wish it wouldn't be like that but I can't help it either.


]]> ~doomsday666 http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1806357/ http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1806357/ Fri, 06 Feb 2004 23:37:56 PST Don't asked why the depression went away as if someone had pushed the off-button but I'm sure it returns it would be a major miracle if not.

Anyway as soon a I'm mentally alive I'll use my time to draw.
First picture for the demonbreed series done, two others in progress and some more ideas in mind.

NKS lend me Zone of the Enders II and after finishing the pic I started playing it... ... I think it's awesome at all as long someone plays it whos not as unable as I am ...
Gods, poor Jehuty !

Well I this this is another completely boring journal entry and so it has to end here------------------------------------> + ]]> ~doomsday666 http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1795863/ http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1795863/ Wed, 04 Feb 2004 22:05:42 PST ]]> ~doomsday666 http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1791894/ http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1791894/ Wed, 04 Feb 2004 07:31:48 PST No 2 second after I uploaded Firewarrior - colour I saw several faults on it, no second before... *sigh* I wont list the flaws I think you see them by yourself.


I think I'll devote my time to the demonbreed in general and their design/design-update.
There's so much in my head but so few time round a day and far not enough skill in my fingers .

So well, I better get my lazy ass down to the shack of doom...
]]> ~doomsday666 http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1785888/ http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1785888/ Tue, 03 Feb 2004 00:26:42 PST
If you wondered where the the promised uploads are, wonder along, I fear it'll stay chaotic for awhile.
be warned this will be again.

in principle I want to draw but when I'm sitting down in the doom-shack I don't feel like drawing. I have some and so on but then I don't want .

Maybe I should do more till I got the nerves and peace and wait till the is gone a little farther so that it can't come back in no time.

My dad's now at home all day and makes me sick!
I can't do one single step without having him blahing into it. I can't to cut a class or all because he wants to drive me to station all the time (that's cool when it rains or it's cold or you have to hurry, but not all fuckin' day!).
He's bored and so he sticks his nose in everything I do. he does things on my computer noone asked him to and the worst thing is that he knows everything. EVERYTHING. That starts by driving and goes to politics, theology, computers, how to handle people (just yell at them until they want to die), cooking but also drawing, how universitys function and how to read my letters without even the slightest caution that I could find out because then he just yells at me and that's it. Or he askes me what they were about and from who and if I refuse to tell him then he yells at me.


Yeah, so my mood goes between and than back to .

Maybe it's usual that you can't work under this circumstances...


Time to stop the pitiful self-pity and .

*sigh* It's time that I get a life but than I have to act like a responsible grown-up and that'S what I'm afraid of. ]]> ~doomsday666 http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1775435/ http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1775435/ Sun, 01 Feb 2004 01:32:31 PST
As you hopefully see I have updated finally, I'm not sure how long it takes now for the picture to appear. On the other side I really don't want to rant aboput DA because the alternative is the Elfwood with it's thousand-years long ticket queue and it's arbitrarily moderators , so I'm just wondering not blaming DA.

Anything else?
Well recently sometimes I feel my days are to short for life/job/university, friends, computer/PS2 and drawing. If you concentrate on one thing next time you look for the time ysou recognize that half the day is over, and the damn train is eating away time, too.
Seems like I need more hours per day or being faster, the later is even more unreal the the other option.... ]]> ~doomsday666 http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1754067/ http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1754067/ Tue, 27 Jan 2004 23:30:01 PST It snowed for the last two days now and we/I hoped that it would be possible that we get forgotten by winter.
Well now we have snow.
Luckily it wasn't punctual to x-mas 'cause the whole media would loose it in case, blahing even in the evening new about the snow.
hey, it wouldn't be the first ever.
I digress.

Snow has two good things, you can sledge and everything looks beautiful (if it's not in the city).
Well yesterday eve NKS was visiting and we were debating like so often before about what to do now then I decided that I'd have to go sledging now. It was kinda a compulsive act I bounced around and my temper really did things aside from me I guess.
Well we walked up a suitable hill drove down one time and I was completely satisfied and even-tempered again.
Thinking back at this I think insanity struck me very hard

AND I ripped a really ugly scratch into my finger with the damn cord, while tugging the sledge
++++

Now about art:
I didn't do a single line on Dion but I started something else, there's only one thing I'll hint you for it's outcome:
I think I got a spleen for contrast (or the lack of it) recently, don't ask why. Yeah so there maybe backgrounds again on my pictures
++++

This is the fifth try to make the journasl appear on the page.... ]]> ~doomsday666 http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1754066/ http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1754066/ Tue, 27 Jan 2004 23:29:39 PST It snowed for the last two days now and we/I hoped that it would be possible that we get forgotten by winter.
Well now we have snow.
Luckily it wasn't punctual to x-mas 'cause the whole media would loose it in case, blahing even in the evening new about the snow.
hey, it wouldn't be the first ever.
I digress.

Snow has two good things, you can sledge and everything looks beautiful (if it's not in the city).
Well yesterday eve NKS was visiting and we were debating like so often before about what to do now then I decided that I'd have to go sledging now. It was kinda a compulsive act I bounced around and my temper really did things aside from me I guess.
Well we walked up a suitable hill drove down one time and I was completely satisfied and even-tempered again.
Thinking back at this I think insanity struck me very hard

AND I ripped a really ugly scratch into my finger with the damn cord, while tugging the sledge
++++

Now about art:
I didn't do a single line on Dion but I started something else, there's only one thing I'll hint you for it's outcome:
I think I got a spleen for contrast (or the lack of it) recently, don't ask why. Yeah so there maybe backgrounds again on my pictures
++++

This is the fifth try to make the journasl appear on the page.... ]]> ~doomsday666 http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1754060/ http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1754060/ Tue, 27 Jan 2004 23:28:19 PST It snowed for the last two days now and we/I hoped that it would be possible that we get forgotten by winter.
Well now we have snow.
Luckily it wasn't punctual to x-mas 'cause the whole media would loose it in case, blahing even in the evening new about the snow.
hey, it wouldn't be the first ever.
I digress.

Snow has two good things, you can sledge and everything looks beautiful (if it's not in the city).
Well yesterday eve NKS was visiting and we were debating like so often before about what to do now then I decided that I'd have to go sledging now. It was kinda a compulsive act I bounced around and my temper really did things aside from me I guess.
Well we walked up a suitable hill drove down one time and I was completely satisfied and even-tempered again.
Thinking back at this I think insanity struck me very hard

AND I ripped a really ugly scratch into my finger with the damn cord, while tugging the sledge
++++

Now about art:
I didn't do a single line on Dion but I started something else, there's only one thing I'll hint you for it's outcome:
I think I got a spleen for contrast (or the lack of it) recently, don't ask why. Yeah so there maybe backgrounds again on my pictures ]]> ~doomsday666 http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1754059/ http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1754059/ Tue, 27 Jan 2004 23:27:34 PST It snowed for the last two days now and we/I hoped that it would be possible that we get forgotten by winter.
Well now we have snow.
Luckily it wasn't punctual to x-mas 'cause the whole media would loose it in case, blahing even in the evening new about the snow.
hey, it wouldn't be the first ever.
I digress.

Snow has two good things, you can sledge and everything looks beautiful (if it's not in the city).
Well yesterday eve NKS was visiting and we were debating like so often before about what to do now then I decided that I'd have to go sledging now. It was kinda a compulsive act I bounced around and my temper really did things aside from me I guess.
Well we walked up a suitable hill drove down one time and I was completely satisfied and even-tempered again.
Thinking back at this I think insanity struck me very hard

AND I ripped a really ugly scratch into my finger with the damn cord, while tugging the sledge
++++

Now about art:
I didn't do a single line on Dion but I started something else, there's only one thing I'll hint you for it's outcome:
I think I got a spleen for contrast (or the lack of it) recently, don't ask why. Yeah so there maybe backgrounds again on my pictures ]]> ~doomsday666 http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1754054/ http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1754054/ Tue, 27 Jan 2004 23:26:17 PST It snowed for the last two days now and we/I hoped that it would be possible that we get forgotten by winter.
Well now we have snow.
Luckily it wasn't punctual to x-mas 'cause the whole media would loose it in case, blahing even in the evening new about the snow.
hey, it wouldn't be the first ever.
I digress.

Snow has two good things, you can sledge and everything looks beautiful (if it's not in the city).
Well yesterday eve NKS was visiting and we were debating like so often before about what to do now then I decided that I'd have to go sledging now. It was kinda a compulsive act I bounced around and my temper really did things aside from me I guess.
Well we walked up a suitable hill drove down one time and I was completely satisfied and even-tempered again.
Thinking back at this I think insanity struck me very hard

AND I ripped a really ugly scratch into my finger with the damn cord, while tugging the sledge
++++

Now about art:
I didn't do a single line on Dion but I started something else, there's only one thing I'll hint you for it's outcome:
I think I got a spleen for contrast (or the lack of it) recently, don't ask why. Yeah so there maybe backgrounds again on my pictures ]]> ~doomsday666 http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1737138/ http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1737138/ Sun, 25 Jan 2004 02:00:57 PST since Dion I havn't got anything on paper, all tries fail terrible making me feel incapable and adding it's fill to the lurking depression.
I have no plans for any of my stories either and additional to the draw block a writersblock too, that's why I get nothing done for 7Hells, too.
Yesterday night I tried to sleep and failed 'cause my poo little brain was heavily bombed heavily bombed with ideas, well let's say I have a plan now, but how to use it when u feel like you can't eiter write nor draw...

Thanx to my dad and life itself depression struck again. I hate it when this happens. I'm really looking forward to soon vacations, two weeks then I'm free for a while, hopefully I'm feeling better than.

There's not much else to say.
Don't forget this gallery there'll be new pictures someday. ]]> ~doomsday666 http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1717361/ http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1717361/ Wed, 21 Jan 2004 10:09:39 PST I had/have a kind of creative crisis, I get nothing done like I want and so I'm so frustrated that I don't want to touch a pencil again for fear of more frustration.
Stupid but true.
Sad but true.


And I rediscovered DMC1, which is idiotic on AUTO EASY 'cause you miss some really wicked stuff and you can't do really controlled movements.
Now playing it on NORMAL it's a multiple more difficult than DMC2 on HARD... or I'm just unable. But hey, I know why I hate Phantom and Nightmare that much.
Background and atmosphere are rich and detailed, the music rocks, too.
At the moment I'm stuck with Vergil (Nelo Angelo) a third time but I see some land... or better he'll fall this eve.

What sort of special-heroes is creating names for Crapcom anyway?
Dante Sparda... Sparda... there's Sparda Bank in Germany (maybe elsewhere too. I don't know) almost one in every town
But the highlight IMHO is the hero of Chaos Legions: Sieg Wahrheit... don't you think so? Well maybe Victory Truth sounds better...



As I'm typing this my AIM does strange things I have no clue of...
Then *PING* and my DApage was close, luckly my journal survied, thanks to Copy-Paste.

I got to do stuff for the 7Hells RPG, too and if this keyboard doesn't dies like it's predecessor it should be done somewhen this weekend.
I thought about redoing Dion or maybe a whole new picture... I'm not satisfied with the last by now...
Maybe I should just leave it be...
I don't know.


My other stories are kinda on vacation for a while, I think all the plans and ideas need a time to rest like good wine untill you can work on/with them again.

That was a longer journal entry ... and it ends NOW.
++++

Oh and I just discovered that my AIM was innocent. It was my beloved father who just switched the LAN (which my computer needs to access the WWW ) off.
Thanx daddy.
]]> ~doomsday666 http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1698702/ http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1698702/ Sun, 18 Jan 2004 01:48:10 PST

]]> ~doomsday666 http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1688431/ http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1688431/ Fri, 16 Jan 2004 04:40:49 PST
I'm writing journal again, it's been a while.
The stress with university lessened a little now that I've held presentation on Wednesday... it was a total failure I stammered, forgot my text, let accidently fall my pointer and so on put I passed it anyway.
Not that I need it anymore 'cause I changed my branch of study last autumn.
With the beginning of February exams take place... Yeehaa!... I don't know anything I think...
But I'm searching for an apprenticeship anyways. If my computer dies off when I'm writing candidacies I'll explode ort something.


Oh and to everybody who commented, ed etc etc...
Drawing is only half that satisfying without your opinions - THANX!

Uhmm... Guess that's it for today, have a nice weekend everybody ]]> ~doomsday666 http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1671625/ http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1671625/ Mon, 12 Jan 2004 23:15:46 PST
You see I've updated, I'm not dead, yet .
Finally I did something and upload it, hasn't happened for a while.

The problem is I got some stuff to get done with, and so I haven't all the time the I want to spent for drawing and RPGing etcetc...


This is a very short journal entry. ]]> ~doomsday666 http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1656495/ http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1656495/ Sat, 10 Jan 2004 03:00:29 PST
Although nothing is happening on DA at the moment I'm not in a creative deadend. I've just nothing that's completed for scanning right now, but that'll return sooner or later.

I'm RPGing again I can't belive it! After more thatn 5 years of paper&pencil RPGs and a long period of no-playing at at I gave that hobby hobby a second chance and joined Ariyasnow's [link] RPG The 7Hell.
I'm really looking forward to what'll happen.
Gonna draw my chara soon I think.

The other stuff isn't neglected either...
Yeah what else... FFX2 will be released during February in Germany... I can't wait till it's finally in my PS2. ]]> ~doomsday666 http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1646049/ http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1646049/ Wed, 07 Jan 2004 23:33:26 PST
I'm at tha point again where it's time to prattle about the university and that it's eating my time and nerves and that I got nothing done.
But I've rambled about that a thousands times and I don't wanna go on with that.
So here it is, maybe it'll be long time between the updates and maybe not. I planned for a lot of things to do and I'm trying to get at least half of it done.

The Terrorcrew needs profiles and so on.
Morningstar needs an imperatively design-update.
5DR needs a break.

*yawn* I need more sleep! ]]> ~doomsday666 http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1636182/ http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1636182/ Tue, 06 Jan 2004 00:22:12 PST
This is the last day of freedom than university starts again...
I care as less as I can manage, I don't want this crap to bring me down again.
++++

I think art and skills can be slippy and disloyal . Recently I had a real plan and several ideas, I didn't manage to get one good sketch down in more than 4 or 5 hours, its like gettin nuts real soon.
You know what you want to draw, you know how, you know from other pictures before that you can do it but somehow you're unable. I've done everything wrong you can mess up on a picture wrong perspective, pose and proportion....
Then I left it for that day.
Less than 24hours later (yesterday noon) I had less than two hours to draw and *drum roll* have a complete inked sketch.
Well I'm not complaining I'm just thinking it's kinda strange how your work/art depends on your day.
++++

The side- or parallelstory to Morningstar is running *squeal* pictures'll follow, as soon as it got a title.
I'd spoil you if I say
Well to whoever invented those delicious yaoi/shonen-ai stuff thank you

So now I'll stop this commercial, and resume thinking about a name.
++++

What else?
I think I need some other directory and generally a better plan to keep vista on the legion of cuteness (and doom).
Maybe I'll think of somthing... or maybe not... chaos is eternal, isn't it? ]]> ~doomsday666 http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1626542/ http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1626542/ Sun, 04 Jan 2004 00:57:59 PST
Yesterday was a good day I think.

++++

It's *beep* cold here and the last 24h went by without a moment I wasn't freezing. We're in a global change of climate why can't at first the winter change, the poles are melting anyway so why has it to be so *peep* cold?!
Snow at all is nice to look atbut here art only patches of white, not to mention the chaos on the roads and the damn salt that destroys shoes, tyres, dog paws and so on...

It's all year the same. When your freezing for weeks you can't wait till it's summer you can't believe anymore that there's somthing like too hot. and then in summer you can't really remember freezing but you wih the heat gone...
++++

New character design popped up in my head and maybe today or tomorrow I'm done with it...
New design? I wonder is there really any new design anymore? Well I try to be a honest artist, not stealing anyone's Characters/Stories and defending mine. But when I'm roaming the galleries I find lot's of great work and I envy lot's of skills and styles but I can't say I find
anything really new anymore. This is not meant to be and offence in any kind this is just a matter of factly statement. ]]> ~doomsday666 http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1622257/ http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1622257/ Sat, 03 Jan 2004 01:59:57 PST ++++

I really got more important things to do than drawing, dreaming and head-up-in-the-clouds plotting for some stories. I need to get my life straight.... this fact is bothering me for beyond everything... mixed up with an (un)healthy dose of paranoia.
I hate things like that.
Anywayz I decided to be free from it at least for the weekend because even I didn't to achieved anything on college, college at all causes stress because... well because it is exactly like it is and I think I'm no person for a life like that.
++++

So now away with all that serious crap, I have still vacations, damnit!
As I speak of cursing... Recently I decided to update the timeworn Elfwood Galleries. Havinf ticket number 2.500andsomething It'll took the *beeep*Moderators there forever to work through.
Only to tell me that all of my pictures didn't fit some stupid rule. You don't have to sort the pictures fir themes and stuff oh no! You have to erase them properly and don't have ringbook fringes on it or knits or what-the-fuck-else.
And you have to wait for more than a week to get told in an way too arrogant and ridiculously authoritarian manner that everything'll be rejected.

WTF is wrong with that place? Everybody mutated? What do those guys think they are?
I don't know. The only words I've left for that would be better not written because it could be expensive.... ]]> ~doomsday666 http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1617200/ http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1617200/ Fri, 02 Jan 2004 01:21:33 PST
I wont think about non-DA-themes now, so I hope that'll be a good year for drawing and the steady (yeah but slowly) improvement of skills or tha lack of it, whatever.

I'm a pessimistic so I don't think life's going to be better and world-wide suffering'll decrease... I coose my nick wisely 'cause I'll always be a prophet of a dark future, no matter if writing/plotting or in real life.

*sigh*

Got the first picture done in the new sketchbook in the new year... I hope... HOPE.... that'll be a good year for my sketchbooks and me.


Best wishes to everybody.






this journal entry ends here ----------------------------> o ]]> ~doomsday666 http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1606999/ http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1606999/ Wed, 31 Dec 2003 05:03:49 PST Yeah you read right.
After all the year of desperate partying nothing will be done that's it.
I wish I could cut off all the celebration, that would make the streets alot safer....
Well in less that 24h all the trouble'll be gone anyways.
++++

When you wonder about the newest submisson, yes I really wrote something, exclusive for DA if you want to say so. It's not as long and as complicated than 5DR so I managed to write is in English. ]]> ~doomsday666 http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1601597/ http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1601597/ Tue, 30 Dec 2003 00:36:55 PST .
Nothing happened until now and I'm sure nothing important'll happen till I go back to bed this night.
++++

Uploaded a crayon piece of Thetis hope you like it - even though I think it's good it's not perfect, but I didn't want to go on with it maybe ruin it so I left it that way.

++++
though thwe day'll be long I don't think it'll be boring at all I decided to dedicate some time to the vampire stories Morningstar, not sure what to come out, guess a completele new chapter will come up.
-enough of the commercial! ]]> ~doomsday666 http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1597514/ http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1597514/ Mon, 29 Dec 2003 02:37:41 PST
Well, well....
And what do I have to tell you?
Not much.
I have lot's of scenes in my head but I don't want to draw any.
Had a character idea this night but have no clue how to use it or even if I like it or not. It's just in my head, without an opinion.

I even had an idea for a complete new substoryline but I don't know or can't decide if I really want it or what exactly to do with it.
The consisting stories are all - at least for me and now - on a dead point, there good till there and than *pling* there's no more in my brain, and for the ideas I got I have no clue if they're good or not I can't judge about their quality and fitting.

*sigh*
This is unnerving.

Well I thinks I leave this entry be now. ]]> ~doomsday666 http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1588871/ http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1588871/ Sat, 27 Dec 2003 03:13:24 PST
Well this days could be good...
I have a new sketchbook which waits for me to be filled.
Got still some unfinished stuff in the old one and I'm having good (at least I like them) ideas recently.
This seems to be a good footing for having some better days ahead

Converted and overdid an older but very dearly loved character to be used in ForumRPG - I hope this'll proving to be a good decision.

Not more journal for now. ]]> ~doomsday666 http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1584731/ http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1584731/ Fri, 26 Dec 2003 02:51:17 PST My chrismas was a catastrophy at all.
But well let's start at the beginning.
on 24th' eve we (mum, dad and I) were scheduled (I use this term on purpose) to visit grandma.
We celebrate chrismas on the evening of 24th not on 25th..... to get rid of any misconceptions.

Well and than we stayed there.
My Dad ate the fondue like he had to go after five minutes and not time to no end for it, noone interruopted this ... I'm not sure if someone except me got it or cared for it.... *sighs*.
Well after the meal a conversation broke free that couldn't be called nice or contemplative or hearty or whatever adjective else you associate with chrismas.
It was the same crap that was the topic every other day: the stupidity of the road construction in our town/village, dogs, cars, and how well every aunts children were and how proud they're of them.

I sat around for all this eve with not two sentences directed to me and drank my sparkling mineral water.

Sometime than my Dad decided that it was time for the presents, I don't know if someone was happy or not because I wasn't part of the conversation, but I got a new sketchbook - one of that perfect ones, which seem like made exactly for me.
Well I was happy 'bout that present but all the feedback I got were snidely looks and shaking heads.

Chrismas is very special and unforgetable when you wanted to be loved as you are but get threaten like a freak or a sickness.

When it was finally over I stayed to help my Granny wich the dishes... than soon after I went back to my godforsaken shack of doom and got back to work/art.

Two friends thought of me and I got SMS as I thought outside the house having a smoke.
Thanks to them.
++++

Yesterday wasn't that worse at all. It began terrible with my Dad telling me how worthless I am to him and not interested in anything (well not in food, eating, cars, hardware and dogs, and I hear his opinion over politics every time the news are on... so I know it)) at the noon I watched a looooooong Jules Verne filming with a young and very english Pierce Brosnan ... than NKS saved me from another horrible boring and forlorn eve.
++++

What else?
Well check out my newest work. It's the X-mas gift for NKS, I could only show it to her yesterday but not give it to her because it was without and it looked strange, unreal.... well now it's better, the background is crap but far better than none.

I'm outta words now... ]]> ~doomsday666 http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1580324/ http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1580324/ Thu, 25 Dec 2003 01:39:48 PST
Everybody satisfied now?
Yes?
Good, because there are children starving hour for hour. All the glory and holyness wont help them, they die.
Just is case you wake up and be happy with you and the world, forget it.
++++

So now that I hopefully ruined some happy days, I can breath freely and feel enlighted in my pagan heart.

++++

I love my crayons and I'm on another picture, NKS' present is done I only have to scan it.
++++

There's nothing more to say today.
++++

OPne thing I almost forgot, I have some Elfwood Galleries, too but I think I know why I'm here now most of the times, got some real nice comments: " thats just sick. come on now. what kind of sad freaks would want to look at that. ur fuking twisted i tell thee. do u have a life. do you have a boyfriend? No. Do you have any friends? No. Did your parents disown you and cast you into the street? Yes. fuking wierdo"
Nice, huh?
This comes from the following address: hornyhousewivesdoit4ulive.com
And I got more than one, when you see this you really have to wonder 'bout the amounts of scum out there, well I wish them all the worse.
Merry X-mas. ]]> ~doomsday666 http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1571255/ http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1571255/ Tue, 23 Dec 2003 03:19:01 PST ++++

Yeah had a revival party with my charcoals and black crayons, the last two days.
X-mas is drawing nearer, did I mention that I hate x-mas in all it's superficial crapyness? No?
Well I HATE CHRISMAS.
There's no reason to fell trees for a dead joiner.
But commercialization is ruling, burning on the horizon like the star over Bethlehem. And all the children gather to be part of the consumption-mashine, being assimilated to the spiral of work, stress, frustration, consumption, work, stress and even more consumption because they can find no happyness but acording to TV you'll get happe when you buy so you have to by more... and so on.
How shall someone find peace when the world is such a wasted place?
++++

I still have to finish the presents...
++++

oh ...


--- ]]> ~doomsday666 http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1566713/ http://doomsday666.deviantart.com/journal/1566713/ Mon, 22 Dec 2003 01:59:52 PST I'm still cursed with university and no plan for my life.


Why wasn't there any journal for so long?
Because nothing happened and I'm too lazy to write regularly entries without having a idea about the topic.

Why aren't there any new deviations?
I havn't drawn anything that is finished and therefore could be uploaded. I'm not ignoring/letting down deviantart, even with it's searchfunction down... *grrr*.

I did some stuff with charcoal again (in a much smaller scale) than every coal stuff that I did before, but it's good as far as it is, maybe I can finish it today - and not ruin it by not knowing where to stop.

Yeah, gotta do some x-mas presents soon. ]]> ~doomsday666