http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:drkelement&section=today deviantART RSS for by:drkelement en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Sat, 05 Dec 2009 22:36:29 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/21445246/ http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/21445246/ Tue, 11 Nov 2008 19:46:24 PST I haven't been on here in a good 7 months, so I have a good deal of artwork I could post. We'll see when I can get around to taking pictures of my drawings from my drawing the figure class.

I currently have 7,500 images in my inbox to look through from my watch list.

]]> ~drkelement http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/18074645/ http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/18074645/ Mon, 28 Apr 2008 17:12:57 PDT
]]> ~drkelement http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/17724216/ http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/17724216/ Sun, 06 Apr 2008 23:14:55 PDT [link] << that drawing...

"I guess by the bloodstain on your lips
And the wander of your fingertips
I should proof true to my emptyness
And stay here

Well I'm just a kid of ill repute
But Steena wears my only suit ?
And you are just a substitute
For the one that I hold dear

You know you could be anyone
God forgive my tastless tongue
I never should have been set free

I carve my eyes, I skin my face
And beg on how to be replaced ?
That’s how we deal with boys like me

I guess by this world so sick with loss
And your circusses so free of cost
I should climb down of my rugged cross
And lay with you

You know by now it’s half past late
And I only came here for escape
You, you’re just my next mistake
Light me to you ?

You know you could be anyone
God forgive your unborn sons
I hope they don’t end up like me

I drag my mind through sheets of shame
Blame myself, forgive the game
That’s how we deal with boys like me

But despite what you’ve been told
I once had a soul
Left somewhere behind
A former friend of mine

And I hate to speak so free
But you mean not much to me
So if the streetlights they shine bright
I'll be home tonight

I guess by the dim light in your eyes
And that to you all things come as a surprise
I should set the steel trap of your thights
And dive right in

To you I'm just a confused child
Insecure or in denial
Go raise your robes, go have your trial/try
I'll let you in

You know I could be anyone
God forgive what I should have done
My thoughts enough to kill tv ?

And yes, I guess I made/make this bed
But I'll take the sidewalk instead
That’s how we deal with boys with me

But despite what you’ve been told
I once had a soul
Left somewhere behind
A former friend of mine

And I hate to sound so true
But I mean nothing to you
And with the streetlights they shine bright
I'll be home tonight"
-- Two Gallants

]]> ~drkelement http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/16921766/ http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/16921766/ Sat, 16 Feb 2008 22:56:54 PST A Scanner Darkly (2006)
Fast Food Nation (2006)
Bad News Bears (2005)
Before Sunset (2004)
$5.15/Hr. (2004) (TV)
The School of Rock (2003)
Live from Shiva's Dance Floor (2003)Tape (2001)
Waking Life (2001)

[link] (Before Sunrise)
[link] (Before Sunset)

Staring Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy.

The plot in this movie is done in real time. The story in Before Sunrise takes place 9 years prior to the story in 2004...the lovers being reunited. There is a lot of dialog in this movie, but don't let that stray you away. The realistically written dialog and the way that we can relate to the attraction that the main characters have with each other is amazing. Captivating really.

If you have any interest at all in romances...you won't be disappointed. Me and a friend predicted how many years it'll be till the next one. If there is a next one that is...and their better be. Probably about 9 more years, just like Before Sunrise and Before Sunset. I'll wait.

]]> ~drkelement http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/16877812/ http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/16877812/ Thu, 14 Feb 2008 08:45:51 PST Arthur Is Dead by wordworks
Bob. An Epic. by edzull
Episode Nine by evad
and last, but not least...
Nightdress by penslinger

This is some of the best poetry I have ever had the pleasure of reading here on DeviantART. All of them had a very moving affect on me.

]]> ~drkelement http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/16872097/ http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/16872097/ Wed, 13 Feb 2008 22:01:44 PST
Only took about 4 hours.

]]> ~drkelement http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/16825775/ http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/16825775/ Sun, 10 Feb 2008 23:33:44 PST
I have 37 pages of favorites. The rest need organized too....what a chore. At least then I can clean them up and get rid of ones I don't like anymore easier.

]]> ~drkelement http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/16369461/ http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/16369461/ Sat, 12 Jan 2008 09:07:27 PST
Just a thought of the past...from a great song:
Mayday Parade- "If You Wanted A Song Written About You, All You Had To Do Was Ask"

"
I'm throwing away pictures
That i never should have taken in the first place
And it's cold in my apartment
As i'm changing all the colors
From the brightest reds to grays

Well it's 3 o'clock on monday morning
I'm just hoping you're not seeing his face
I've been getting calls in these hotel rooms
Long enough to know that it was him
That took my place

And i hope this makes you happy now
That the flame we had is burning out
And i hope you like your pictures facing down
As even broken hearts may have their doubts

And i'm burning all the letters
Hoping that i might forget her and her bad taste
That she left when she was leaving me
A life of barely breathing as she walked
Out of this place

And you dropped the note and we changed key
You changed yourself and i changed me
I really didn't see us singing through this
Then you screamed the bridge
And i cried the verse
And our chorus came out unrehearsed
And you smiled the whole way through it
I guess maybe that's what's worse

And i hope this makes you happy now
That the flame we had is burning out
And i hope you like your pictures facing down
As even broken hearts may have their doubts

And i'm taking all your memories off the shelf
And i don't need you or anybody else
So take a look at me
See what you want to see
When you get home

Take me home
I'd rather die than be with you
Take me home
You have a problem with the truth
Take me home
Because this happens every time
I knew it would...
I knew it would...

Take me home
I'd rather die than be with you
Take me home
You have a problem with the truth
Take me home
Because this happens every time
And i knew it would...
I knew it would...

And i hope this makes you happy now
That the flame we had is burning out
And i hope you like your pictures facing down
As even broken hearts may have their doubts

And i'm taking all your memories off the shelf
And i don't need you or anybody else
So take a look at me
See what you want to see
When you get home"

We're always scared...

]]> ~drkelement http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/15980806/ http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/15980806/ Mon, 17 Dec 2007 23:48:30 PST [link]

Grats ^cosmosue

]]> ~drkelement http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/15482245/ http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/15482245/ Mon, 12 Nov 2007 16:52:49 PST
"My artwork, at it's best, is the preservation of precious moments and beauty."
I am taking the moments and images in this world that are special to me and preserving them for forever in artwork...

Then I thought- "that is just my poetry"- ...so I wrote an other:

"My artwork is an attempt to preserve precious moments of beauty and emotion for forever and a want for others to understand them."

If this could be written in a more grammatically correct way, please let me know.

]]> ~drkelement http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/15356506/ http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/15356506/ Sun, 04 Nov 2007 05:32:28 PST
I'm giving up the ghost of love
And a shadow is cast on devotion

She is the one that I adore
Queen of my silent suffocation

Break this bittersweet spell on me
Lost in the arms of destiny

Bittersweet

I won't give up
I'm possessed by her

I'm bearing a cross
She's turned into my curse

Break this bittersweet spell on me
Lost in the arms of destiny

Bittersweet

I want you

Oh how I wanted you

And I need you

Oh how I needed you

Break this bittersweet spell on me
Lost in the arms of destiny

Bittersweet
Apocolypica
----------------------------------------------

What do you do when you can't speak anymore...when you can't feel anything?

]]> ~drkelement http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/15309337/ http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/15309337/ Wed, 31 Oct 2007 22:16:09 PDT
Remember how we chased it like shadows
Life was the ocean; we wanted to swim
Looking back now, it’s just how the path goes
They tell you it’s over; you never begin

We don’t give ourselves time - the way that we used to
To watch it all happen, unfolding in sighs
You’d think we were blind, the things we can see through
The things we look past when emboldened inside

CHORUS:
But it’s alright now, it’s alright
The ghosts of our glories are gray-bearded guides
The sound of our sorrows has stirred us inside
(But) I think maybe I’ve never felt more alive

I asked you just once if you thought we could be found
You never did tell me; but I think I know now
Whatever ship comes, by dark sea or gray cloud
As long as the well’s deep, we make it somehow

CHORUS

I don’t know how to make peace or find it
We’re most of us stories we’re scared to explain
But what if there’s sound, somewhere caught behind this
A song we can sing while we’re lying awake

CHORUS

==============================

It is all right...
I need to write some poetry.

]]> ~drkelement http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/15195487/ http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/15195487/ Tue, 23 Oct 2007 22:29:24 PDT
Some days her shape in the doorway
Will speak to me
A bird’s wing on the window
Sometimes I’ll hear her when she’s sleeping
Her fever dream
A language on her face

I want your flowers like babies want God’s love
Or maybe as sure as tomorrow will come

Some days, like rain on the doorstep
She’ll cover me
With grace in all she offers
Sometimes I'd like just to ask her
What honest words
She can’t afford to say, like

I want your flowers like babies want God’s love
Or maybe as sure as tomorrow will come

- Iron and Wine

]]> ~drkelement http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/14855640/ http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/14855640/ Sun, 30 Sep 2007 12:15:44 PDT
]]> ~drkelement http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/14820923/ http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/14820923/ Thu, 27 Sep 2007 23:00:41 PDT Posting some new poems soon. I know, it's been a while since I touched that realm on here.

]]> ~drkelement http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/14660248/ http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/14660248/ Sun, 16 Sep 2007 13:24:53 PDT
I just have a lot of studying and other class work to do.

Check out my 3 recent photos and let me know what you think. I went for a walk last night and found a field just off campus that provided me with some decent scenery for some sunset shots.

]]> ~drkelement http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/14610888/ http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/14610888/ Wed, 12 Sep 2007 22:56:37 PDT
"When I'm lying in your bed
Play the motions through my head
You know that I'm thinking, I'm thinking...
And I have reasons to believe that
I'm not the only one you spend this time with, but I'll stay...

[Chorus:]
You say, you're weak,
You won't let me down,
You won't let me down.
You lie through your teeth,
You smile in your sleep,
You smile in your sleep.

When we met
You said we were the same,
You know that we're different, we're different,
And all the times you promised me that
Everything would work out in the end, you were gravely mistaken

[Chorus]

You lie, you lie, you lie, you lie
You lie through your teeth
You won't let me down,
You lie, I deserve better than this

I dream of steel. Maroon and warm,
Your end (your end), your end (your end)
You gasp for air.
I'll see this through, I'll see through you,
Your pale (your pale), your pale (your pale),
Your pale blue eyes.

When you're lying in your bed,
Your eulogy's been read
You know that it's fitting, you lie.

[Chorus]

You smile, you smile, you smile, you smile
I deserve better than this"


A die a little more each day...

]]> ~drkelement http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/14598928/ http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/14598928/ Wed, 12 Sep 2007 05:18:34 PDT
"Let this be our last goodbye
No need to wonder why
Never had the time to try
But don't blame me

Don't let me down so slow
Damage done now you can go
But a few things that you should know before you leave

Don't you never think of me as one among the rest
I've got little else left to defend
Surely you've seen better but for you i did my best
But you'll go, i'll stay, i'll begin again
Just as you had planned
'Cause i've known lonesome things you can't come back from
I hope i never see your face again

In the streets of Old Watez
The daughters of Anun Cortez
Break their bodies for their bread
The strangest pain
And dress themselves by candlelight
In lips of red and robes of white
Step out to pulverize the night
Can you complain?

And all the faithless loyalties that decorate your chest
Will they bring you comfort in the end?
Surely you've seen better,
but for you i did my best
Sometimes nighttime brings you back again
That curse, that western wind
Cause I've known lonesome things you can't come back from
And i knew we'd be strangers in the end"

Two Gallants

]]> ~drkelement http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/14588903/ http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/14588903/ Tue, 11 Sep 2007 12:02:13 PDT
"When I'm lying in your bed
Play the motions through my head
You know that I'm thinking, I'm thinking...
And I have reasons to believe that
I'm not the only one you spend this time with, but I'll stay...

[Chorus:]
You say, you're weak,
You won't let me down,
You won't let me down.
You lie through your teeth,
You smile in your sleep,
You smile in your sleep.

When we met
You said we were the same,
You know that we're different, we're different,
And all the times you promised me that
Everything would work out in the end, you were gravely mistaken

[Chorus]

You lie, you lie, you lie, you lie
You lie through your teeth
You won't let me down,
You lie, I deserve better than this

I dream of steel. Maroon and warm,
Your end (your end), your end (your end)
You gasp for air.
I'll see this through, I'll see through you,
Your pale (your pale), your pale (your pale),
Your pale blue eyes.

When you're lying in your bed,
Your eulogy's been read
You know that it's fitting, you lie.

[Chorus]

You smile, you smile, you smile, you smile
I deserve better than this"

Silverstein

]]> ~drkelement http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/14570987/ http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/14570987/ Mon, 10 Sep 2007 05:13:40 PDT
""Pretty (Ugly Before)"

Sunshine been keeping me up for days
There is no nighttime, it's only a passing phase
And I feel pretty, pretty enough for you
I felt so ugly before
I didn't know what to do
Sometimes is all I feel up to now
But it's not worth it to you, 'cos you gotta get high somehow
Is it destruction that you're required to feel?
Like somebody wants you, someone that's more for real?
Sunshine been keeping me up for days
There is no nighttime, only a passing phase
And I'll feel pretty another hour or two
I felt so ugly before
I didn't know what to do
I felt so ugly before
I didn't know what to do
I felt so ugly before
I didn't know what to do
Ugly before"

Elliot Smith

]]> ~drkelement http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/14527796/ http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/14527796/ Fri, 07 Sep 2007 08:45:40 PDT
Touch, by Connor Oberst

"Touch, lying on the floor
wishing this could last
but knowing that it can't
and soon you will leave
and i will be on the floor,
watching the tv, trying hard to find a reason to move
i'm frozen in one place, staring at the screen
listening to the rain falling on the street
some days go on too long
and no one can hang out tonight
here, where the carpet is cool and soft,
underneath the clock i feel my weary heart is put to rest
you gather around your friends
the connection that you feel when the night has not yet died
you are new with a promise of a love
you will probably never find
and touch that you can really feel
the brokenness inside as hope and less collide
now nothing is real
(you are new and near now to someone you used to love
when you were young; when all was gold and you two touched
and felt the flutter underneath your skin. you stood in glowing rooms,
the light dripping from both of you.
and nothing since has felt as radiant or real.)
and there is nothing more i want than just one night
that's free of doubt and sadness
one night that i can really feel."

]]> ~drkelement http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/14404430/ http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/14404430/ Thu, 30 Aug 2007 02:17:45 PDT
"I picked you out
Of a crowd and talked to you
Said I liked your shoes
You said thanks can I follow you?
So it's up the stairs
And out of view
No prying eyes
I poured some wine
I asked your name you asked the time
Now it's two o'clock,
the club is closed we're up the block
Your hands on me
I'm pressing hard against your jeans
Your tongue in my mouth
Trying to keep the words from coming out
You didn't care to know
Who else may have been you before
I want a lover I don't have to love
I want a girl who's too sad to give a fuck
Where's the kid with the chemicals?
I thought he said to meet me here but I'm not sure
I got the money if you got the time
You said it feels good I said I'll give it a try
Then my mind went dark
We both forgot where your car was parked
Let's just take the train
I'll meet up with the band in the morning
Bad actors with bad habits
Some sad singers
They just play tragic
And the phone's ringing
And the van's leaving
Let's just keep touching
Let's just keep keep singing
I want a lover I don't have to love
I want a boy who's so drunk he doesn't talk
Where's the kid with the chemicals
I got a hunger and I can't seem to get full
I need some meaning I can memorize
The kind I have always seems to slip my mind
But you but you
You write such pretty words
But life's no story book
Love's an excuse to get hurt
And to hurt
"Do you like to hurt?"
"I do! I do!"
"Then hurt me." [fades]"

THEN HURT ME...its better than having said it was nothing at all...I can't be empty.

Poems coming soon on such thinking.

]]> ~drkelement http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/13664656/ http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/13664656/ Sun, 08 Jul 2007 22:35:25 PDT "The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot"

If it makes you less sad
I will die by your hand
I hope you find out what you want
I already know what I am
And if it makes you less sad
We'll start talking again
And you can tell me how vile
I already know that I am

I'll grow old
And start acting my age
I'll be a brand new day
In a life that you hate
A crown of gold
A heart that's harder than stone
And it hurts a whole lot
But it's missed when it's gone

Call me a safe bet
I'm betting I'm not
I'm glad you can forgive
I'm only hoping as time goes
You can forget

If it makes you less sad
I'll move out of the state
You can keep to yourself
I'll keep out of your way
And if it makes you less sad
I'll take your pictures all down
Every picture you paint
I will paint myself out
It's as cold as a tomb
And it's dark in your room
When I sneak to your bed
To pour salt in your wounds
So call it quits
Or get a grip
Say you wanted a solution
You just wanted to be missed

Call me a safe bet
I'm betting I'm not
I'm glad that you can forgive
I'm only hoping as time goes
You can forget
So you can forget
You can forget

You are calm and reposed
Let your beauty unfold
Pale white like the skin
Stretched over your bones
Spring keeps you ever close
You are second hand smoke
You are so fragile and thin
Standing trial for your sins
Holding onto yourself the best you can
You are the smell before the rain
You are the blood in my veins

Call me a safe bet
I'm betting I'm not
I'm glad that you can forgive
I'm only hoping as time goes
You can forget

Brand New

]]> ~drkelement http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/13653187/ http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/13653187/ Sun, 08 Jul 2007 00:24:03 PDT
I have this strong feeling of abandonment thats been overshadowing me for two months now. Someone who is very important to me has vanished from my life. Despite my calls...my "happy 4th of July, I hope you're having fun." Despite my concern for her well being, despite my many "I love you"s. Sigh. You can heal and feed some pieces of your heart....or keep them comfortable for long enough to keep your sanity or your happiness. Or, maybe to keep your attention off of that piece with some distraction. I have no distractions though and I can't heal parts of my heart. My wishful thinking and my remenessing about the past has come to an end. I have nothing left to reminess about or get off my mind. I've wrote, cried and smiled about it all before. I'm starting to suspect that it does me no good anymore. Hence the lack of poetry submissions.

What I'm trying to say is that I just want something more in my life to be happy about. It's unrealistic to say this, but I just want everything to seem perfect. Life never seems amazing anymore like it used to from time to time. I don't know...A lot just feels missing? I think part of it is because I just finished High School and everything that was day to day is now gone. That's part of the alienation feeling I've been having....but there's so much more that's bothering me/ I'm glad to be rid of so much of the stuff that I had to deal with in high school though. I'm actually glad to be rid of most of it. I guess I just miss my old friends and the way that things used to be with them...this past year and the year before that. I missed the old OLD times often this past year, but I feel like I'm missing them so much more now.

Times change and people change, but some of I'm just not willing to let go of. It just means far to much to me for me to be able to do that....or....

I hope you understand what I mean. Everyone. I'll be posting comments on my watch list peoples art work, but I won't be doing much of my own for a while. I need to clear my head a bit.

]]> ~drkelement http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/13562938/ http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/13562938/ Sun, 01 Jul 2007 11:12:33 PDT I will be displaying what pictures are of what bands here some time soon. I honestly lost track during the 6 hours of music. But, I will find out ASAP.

The following bands played and all of them are unsigned:

Before We Forget:
[link]
The Featured band of the show from Columbus Ohio. It is my understanding that they do not have a full album out yet, but they do have an EP. All of their Photos are labeled "Before We Forget 1-6."
My camera battery died on their second to last song. I was not to happy.

Bandcamp: [link]
They came all the way from New York.

The Great Transparency: [link]
Callahan
Fare Thee Well: [link]
The Promise Estate: [link]

The Hi-Fi Horizon: [link]
Much love to these guys. I'm friends with them...real good friends with one of the guitarists. Some of my photos are on Tylers Myspace. He's linked there on Hi-Fi Horizons myspace.

Three Days Till Sunrise: [link]
Fault Not Taken: [link]
Every Lie is True

]]> ~drkelement http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/13285235/ http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/13285235/ Mon, 11 Jun 2007 11:37:45 PDT
]]> ~drkelement http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/13052956/ http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/13052956/ Tue, 22 May 2007 15:57:33 PDT
]]> ~drkelement http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/12735423/ http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/12735423/ Wed, 25 Apr 2007 19:52:32 PDT
]]> ~drkelement http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/12586601/ http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/12586601/ Fri, 13 Apr 2007 21:29:58 PDT A lot has changes....I'm now single and back to writing some poetry. I'm currently working on a poem that is 200 lines long (8 pages front and back I believe). I may post it here when it's done. I'm considering it my "masterpiece."

I got accepted in to the Bowling Green bachelor in fine arts program, so I'm 99% sure that that's the college I will be attending in the fall of this year. Graduation is around a month and a half away.

That's it for now. I'm due for some much needed rest.

]]> ~drkelement http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/8074365/ http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/8074365/ Sun, 05 Mar 2006 12:44:53 PST

Anwyays...things are starting to calm down finally. My dads out of the hospital and he is doing real well ( he had to have surgery for his heart a while ago...i wont go into detail). I think my school work load isn’t going to be as bad this week. My love life couldn’t be better right now ^^ My girlfriend cares about me so much and she’s just perfect! I wont get all mushy on you, but I’m praying the two of us are together for forever and so is she.

I must be going now *scurries off*

Clubs
Clubs I’m in: and ]]> ~drkelement http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/7511370/ http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/7511370/ Wed, 04 Jan 2006 18:59:01 PST
I got some canvas, acrylic paints and brushes for Christmas, some of which was from my very talented grandpa. They where just old brushes that he had taken REAL good care of and he decided he wanted to send them to us. He also got a big set of art supplies from his family for Christmas and he had to remind them that he doesn’t paint anymore. It makes me sort of sad to think that he has stopped painting because he is incredibly skilled and he’s the one who got me interested in art in the first place.

But anyways, I also got a flag screen monitor, a long with some other stuff that I wont keep naming. I didn’t know a single thing about acrylic paints, but one night I decided that I wanted to paint…so I did. And I didn’t use water at first ….>.<. Blah..I did an abstract and not using water gave me some effects that I liked in places, but it also left little white dots of the canvas uncovered. So for the second half of the painting I did it the correct way. Now I just have to go back and fix the mistakes…then I’m considering giving it to a certain someone as, umm…call it a late, good Christmas gift.

I’m a bit confused right now…*looks around in silence*…oh well. Lol, don’t ask.

Exams are coming up next week and I got my schedule for next semester today. I’m so happy because I have lunch eigth period and commons 9th period (since I couldn’t get into the drawing class, due to the periods that it was available). That means I can leave early .

I spent around 45 minutes earlier working on drawing the corner of a room, with a desk, in perspective. It was difficult for me. Grr, depth… no picture needs such exaggerated angles focus…..Ok…maybe it does, but I hate doing it.

Clubs
Clubs I’m in: and ]]> ~drkelement http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/7348682/ http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/7348682/ Sun, 18 Dec 2005 19:25:39 PST 10 things you like:
1. Anime
2. Video Games
3. Fantasy
4. Poetry
5. Art (any kind)
6. Music
7. Singing (yes, when I’m alone)
8. Spending time with friends
9. Nature…sunrises
10. Animals

3 things that make you happy:
1. Thinking of love…half the time
2. Being loved
3. My friends

3 things that anger you.
1. Inconsiderate,
2. Shallow,
3. Ass holes >.<

10 things you hate.
1. Working, lol.
2. School work
3. That I’m so shy and boring most of the time.
4. When people at school disrespect teachers…unless they are teachers that I have a reason to hate.
5. Drug obsessed slackers
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

3 facts about your name:
1. I go by my middle name, instead of my first.
2. My first names been passed down my dads side of the family.
3.

3 facts about you
1. I can’t fall asleep very early…I go to sleep around 11 o clock now during the school week and wake up at 5:30am.
2. I’m to introverted.
3. I've been writting poetry for around 3.5 years now.

2 things you expect:
1. To get honor roll this six weeks…maybe even high honor roll again.
2.

4 random thoughts:
1. I love this song by Bright Eyes…Poison Oak.
2. I don’t know what the heck to get any of my friends for Christmas.
3. I think I’m getting 4 of them gifts…more than normal.
4. I really should do something the first day of Christmas break.

Clubs
Clubs I’m in: and ]]> ~drkelement http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/6954207/ http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/6954207/ Fri, 04 Nov 2005 14:06:44 PST
I didn’t watch my parents bury her….I didn’t want to cry anymore. I’ve been fighting to much recently…I wanted to write a poem that I could bury with her, but mother nature didn’t care to give me enough time…

Love you Wags…Ill miss you.

Clubs
Clubs I’m in: and ]]> ~drkelement http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/6945947/ http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/6945947/ Thu, 03 Nov 2005 15:15:51 PST , but I don’t know if im going to actually tag 6 people back. That’s a lot.

1. I have the learning disability Dyslexia
2. Ive been tutored since elementary
3. I play video games to much, like World of Warcraft (not lately though)
4. I have a twin brother
5. I’m to damn passionate for my own good
6. I hardly ever leave my house to do something with anyone…*sigh* Conor doesn’t count…he’s the only one that ever wants to hang out with me >_>
7. I love being with my friends, even if I don’t talk much around a lot of them
8. Ive never gotten in a fist fight…though there’s been a lot of people that I deserved to crack right across the jaw.
9. I love animals (O.o)
10. I like taking drives to no place in particular, but they would be more fun if I had a friend to go with.
11. I hate spiders
12. Im afraid of water
13. I have a scar/ bald spot on the side of my head
14. Only two people have ever told me that they like me…and maybe one other person, but im not sure how much she meant it.
15. Im 25% Cuban
16. (cut this out for now...people would laugh at what i had. or make fun of me)
17. Innocent smexy is the best type..lol. I watch some slightly dirty artists on DA, ill admit it.
18. I cant believe I almost told you #16, lol
19. I used to have a rat tail haircut when I was younger

20. OMG Ill do this one later when I can think of something. ]]> ~drkelement http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/6915826/ http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/6915826/ Mon, 31 Oct 2005 12:16:07 PST
Clubs
Clubs I’m in: and ]]> ~drkelement http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/6889562/ http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/6889562/ Fri, 28 Oct 2005 12:19:40 PDT
My bodies a little tired, so I think I’ll lie down for just a few minutes, then try and get some work done.

Edit: Sigh.. For the majority of people that don’t think and write the way I do: at the moment, a lot of what I’m writing has a shadow. Try to think about what you read for at least a minute...

Clubs
Clubs I’m in: and ]]> ~drkelement http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/6831493/ http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/6831493/ Fri, 28 Oct 2005 08:52:16 PDT
Edit: Today I changed my watch list around a little bit. I currently have 159 pieces to look at and its real hard to keep up with them. I get a feeling that if I look at and comment on 20 in a day, then 10 more are added the next day. I dont even take a look at my watches every day....so Its very hard to keep up.

Clubs
Clubs I’m in: and ]]> ~drkelement http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/6740509/ http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/6740509/ Tue, 11 Oct 2005 15:20:01 PDT The Big 1000
I would like to thank everyone that watches me:
, , , , , , , , , , , , ,

And of course my friends and “fans”…If they even consider themselves that (I don’t think my work is good enough to have “fans”):
, , , , , , ,
Thank you also to the people who just repay me for the comments that I give them by commenting on something of mine.

General Life Stuff and Art
Things are going pretty good right now, I guess. I got my driving license a while ago and I’m having fun with it. I’m finally being given enough room for some independence for once! >.< I can’t wait till I can have someone in the car with me though…so I can take friends home from school if they need/ want me to. Also, so I can just go places with my friends. I would just go driving to no place unparticular, because I like driving, but that’s a huge waste of gas. A tank lasts me around a week if I just go to school and maybe make the occasiona... ]]> ~drkelement http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/6576043/ http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/6576043/ Thu, 22 Sep 2005 19:04:01 PDT
Yea that was today.

Just...f&*^ ]]> ~drkelement http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/6459717/ http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/6459717/ Fri, 09 Sep 2005 14:34:21 PDT
School has been going “meh”ish I guess. I wouldn’t say I’m having trouble in sign language anymore. I had failed a test earlier this week, but my teacher had me come in and redo it. I had told her that she was moving way to fast for me. She only asked me fifteen quests, then she said that she felt I knew it, so she changed my grade on the test to 40/40. I was surprised...that was real nice.

I seem to keep falling behind to much. In my graphic arts class I messed up and cut my mat-board (mounting board) wrong when I was in a rush. I put it in the draw that we keep our work in and when I came back the next day I realized I had cut two inches to short on two sides. So I need to schedule a time to come in and recut the board, then melt the glue paper stuff to the picture. We started a new set of projects today, and I went back into the dark room and tried to figure out how to use the enlarger. Our teacher had done a demonstration, but it was two days before, I believe, so I forgot were the buttons where on the timer. It’s impossible to see them back in the dark room. He is a very patient and nice teacher though, so I asked him if he could help me. I got it focused and just as I was going to get the objects I wanted to make my photograph of, along with the photo paper, the bell rang.

But I took a folder home that we are supposed to make a stencil with. Yes, a stencil…that’s another one of the three projects. We have to use it to spray paint the image and words we choose to put on the stencil onto a piece of mat board. If it ends up coming out the sides of the cutout stencil and making a fuzzy edge on the letters, you get points taken off. Arg…I think I may end up taping it down real tight before I spray. It took me around an hour or so when I got home to use stencils on my stencil (lol) and get it aligned just right. It had to be perfectly strait with half an inch in between each letter. I decided to have it say “Coheed and Cambria” just because I couldn’t think of anything else and I have their shirt on today. I’ve gotten “Coheed” cut out so far with an exacto knife. I stopped because it takes so much patience that I was beginning to feel a little crazy.

I took so much time on my small abstract paintings for 2 dimensional designs that I ended up falling a little behind in that class too. I’m only one assignment behind now though. I’m considering scanning a few of the pastels I did this week and last. I have three more abstracts to do for homework this weekend, in water color with the wet to wet technique (crayon with water color over top of it) or with some..press method. I forgot exactly what my teacher called it. You draw on the image with crayon, then water color it backwards onto another surface. You then press the paper down onto that surface for a few seconds and lift it back up. We painted on the desks, then pressed the paper onto it and wiped the paint from the desk. Well, I should say everyone else did, since I didn’t get enough time to do that.

But yea…I was pretty happy most of the day. I got a hug from someone that hasn’t hugged me in a long time (or at last not in the way I like). I had some fun conversations too. I was incredibly busy during class though. I had a Chemistry test that was a bit stressful because the short answer questions confused me. I spent every free minute that I had trying to get my homework done @_@.

I’m done writing now, because I bet this journal will loose everyone’s interest quickly, so I’ve already talked too much. I’ll also be eating dinner soon and I’m starving. Haven’t had anything to eat since 5:30 this morning!

Clubs
Clubs I’m in: and ]]> ~drkelement http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/6379228/ http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/6379228/ Wed, 31 Aug 2005 14:35:08 PDT I also have learned to hide images and meaning in my poems and I tend to use metaphors a lot. Sometimes I don’t mind sharing the meaning with certain people and the reasoning behind it, but other times I do. I don’t really care if other people can relate to my poems or understand the feelings in them…but I can explain what my poems are saying if you just ask.

(Ill probably edit this journal later and maybe tell you how life has been going lately.)

Clubs
Clubs I’m in: PoeticWind ]]> ~drkelement http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/6182110/ http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/6182110/ Tue, 09 Aug 2005 23:41:10 PDT A Wind of Poetry contest. Yea…It took me around two hours I think. I wrote what I liked and disliked about most of them. If nothing stood out to me, I didn’t consider it for my top three picks. I’m kind of tempted to put my compliments in my journal...but I don’t want to offend the others of the poems that I didn’t compliment. They would get mad at me…lol. Good luck to everyone who entered.

Clubs
Clubs I’m in: PoeticWind
Duh..? lol

Admired Artists

<... ]]> ~drkelement http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/6113438/ http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/6113438/ Tue, 02 Aug 2005 14:20:42 PDT Take a look at the last entry by Spyed
He sure does have guts!

I read that after I read the resignation journal entry by
brazensix

I just read his previous journal entry and here’s what I think: One person alone was not responsible for the creation of DeviantART as I understand. But, in that journal entry Spyed was trying to take the focus off the issue by saying “what about commending all the other people who have strongly contributed to DA, like realitysquared and spot?"

They have gotten to keep their recognition for contributing to the creation of this community, but why hasn’t Jark?

“Why is jark no longer on staff?
Because of legal issues, we're not able to say why this has happened just yet.”
"jark no longer being on staff is due to a completely separate matter, which, as I'm sorry to say, we're not able to go into the details about."

If it’s not a legal reason, then it’s not because you can’t say, it’s because you don’t want to.
If you don’t understand what he is saying, and what I’m saying...here’s a better wording of it:
Jark isn’t on staff anymore because of legal issues...but then Spyed contradicts himself a few sentences later and says he’s no longer on staff because of a completely separate issue.

“As for journals; Staff does not have a ‘delete journal tool’. We must assume that these reports were user side errors. Or were edited by the journal author by accident or intentionally.”
For some reason….I just can’t seem to believe that.

I believe I will still be holding to my opinion that Jark was kicked off the team in an attempt by Spyed to gain more power, or influence in this community. Sounds a lot like a dictatorship, which I have already said to several of my friends. Getting rid of what I guess you could call “competition” and then deleting some of the arguments that could sway people’s opinions on these events? Hhhmm…fishy.

I would hate to see this place fall apart all together and I would hate to leave, because this really is a great place for artists. But I also don’t like the thought of getting tired of fighting this and moving on as if everythings fine again. It’s like being in a country that’s run by a dictator and just going on with life figuring that you’ll never make a difference. That’s wrong. I’m starting to ponder how long people are going to be willing to fight though. I admit myself that I am already itching to get back to acting the way I was on DA before this happened. To go back to commenting and submitting my work. But, I am going to continue to try and hold off for the greater good. ]]> ~drkelement http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/6093446/ http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/6093446/ Sun, 31 Jul 2005 20:18:31 PDT :
Okay, I've been simmering and stewing...

(And, incidentally, blowing off very important affairs in my own life...)

I have never encouraged collective discontent or uprising at this site, over any issue, at any time when others were itching for destructive hostility to this site. But the atrocity toward °jark, and the administrative silence in response, is simply too unacceptable to abide.

So here's what I've got, the only rational plan I can come up with, that might possibly work.

First, what's the problem?

The founder of this site was sacked without notice or respect. (In fact, during a recent face-to-face meeting at the Summit, nothing was even said about it, despite such a golden opportunity for the weasel to act like a MAN.)

Regardless of the wisdom of sacking the founder, the conduct itself reflects a poisonous lack of integrity at the top levels of our administration. (If necessary, read my moral assessment here. And °euphoria's latest journal is telling too.)

There has been no communication to the community regarding this deplorable conduct. Not even spin, let alone honesty.

But here's the real problem:

That the agent feels surely he will get away with this.

That is, he can pretty much assume or count on 99% of deviants to go on their merry way, too addicted to this site to take any meaningful stand over it.

He can pretty much count on "business as usual" in the big picture, both at the moment and over time.

He can believe that, sooner or later, this whole mess will simply blow over, largely because DA is such an irreplacable experience with such inertia of motion that it will barrel forward, as it always has.

Left on its own, that premise is true.

So we've got to attack exactly that premise.

But not in a way that will destroy the site or the dream in the long term. Because that's really the last thing that any of us want.

So here's the best strategy I can come up with.

Let's make this site about nothing but integrity, and taking a stand on its behalf.

First and most important, stop submitting art. Unless that art concerns the issue at hand. I would also suggest hiding all your art, but how you handle that is your call. (I personally don't believe in deleting art, but hiding it is non-destructive. Use [link] to batch it all away.)

And if you're burning to post new art, find a way to make it relevant. (Shoot, you'll end up with extra attention for riding the wave, so you could even consider it "enlightened self-interest.")

Second, stop commenting art, unless that art concerns the issue at hand.

Third, stop posting journals, unless they concern the issue at hand. Consider posting a simple journal that says merely "Grinding to a Halt Until °jark Gets the Respect That He Deserves," if you've nothing more complex to offer than that.

Fourth, stop any public communication, unless it concerns the issue at hand. We're all addicted to our social lives here, but let's take it into Notes.

Fifth, minimize viewing of art, to slow down the view counts and statistical progress of the site (as well as ad revenues).

Sixth, make sure your current Favorite reflects the issue, by picking a piece that's concerned with it. In fact, fave as many relevant pieces as possible, to push them up into the DTFs.

Seventh, if you are an administrator who doesn't believe in this crap either, I'd suggest minimizing your administrative functions. Am I out of line to suggest that? Quite possibly. But each administrator should strive to express their indignation as best they can, even if only by passivity.

And eighth, though I have no desire to pimp myself, link this journal if you please. Or, hell, copy it into your own if you please. (If so, take care to preserve the links, there are only a couple. Note me for a copy that preserves the proper bolding and italics.)

In effect, you see, we're "taking all the fun out of DeviantART." But without doing anything that's long-term destructive.

But here's the critical plank of the plan, without with none of the above will really make a difference.

We MUST not spam pages, for a host of reasons.

But we must personally spread the word, to people we know, in an attempt to grind this site to a halt. I would suggest Noting, and just generally keeping our eyes open for people who are blowing this off.

Obviously, most of us here are brimming over with social energy - that's why we spend so much time... ]]> ~drkelement http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/6035480/ http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/6035480/ Tue, 26 Jul 2005 00:38:03 PDT
Walking through my life
Casually and
Calm
As the sun lays its last rays
Across the horizon
I’m reminded of what’s out there
My cool breeze in this suffocating heat

The truth of it all
In my eyes
Trust and hope
Please give it back and don’t tear me apart…just give me time
Just time to fly, fly away with you
So far
Silky purple of flowers
With a soft smile….of yours….a touch
A warmth.
Arms around me singing with whispers

I prayed to the heavens and found silence
Its hopeless….and I know this
But would you look to me now?
Or can I not cheer you up…am I not comfort…not wings to hold you?

What do you dream of tonight?
I see you…laying in silence
So perfect...such an angel

The chair in the corner is my home
As I stare….memories slide down to my lips
My eyes begin to close…and I’m fighting so hard

Because this may be the last time…

Clubs
Clubs I’m in: PoeticWind ]]> ~drkelement http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/5996200/ http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/5996200/ Thu, 21 Jul 2005 14:14:40 PDT General Stuff
Im almost done coloring my "Assassin" drawing. All I have left to do is the background and the blade. I need to learn how to make good blades first though >_>.

Clubs
Clubs I’m in: PoeticWind ]]> ~drkelement http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/5928522/ http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/5928522/ Thu, 14 Jul 2005 00:07:19 PDT and I’m not sure why they are still in my dev watch list. I have read 80% of them…guess I never deleted them. The 2005 ones just start on Jun 3, 2005…so that isn’t to bad, lol. Sorry to all my beloved poets, but I take a while to get through all the word works on the list because I put a lot more thought into my comments on them. ]]> ~drkelement http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/5924619/ http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/5924619/ Wed, 13 Jul 2005 15:24:05 PDT
Today I remembered how much I love The Early November (it’s a band, for you clueless people).Sadly I only have a hand full of their songs downloaded….maybe 6. Oddly, my computer also won’t read their albums. It wont read Cursive either. I’m listening to a song called “Dinner at the Money Table”, which is on the album The Rooms to Cold. Such a great song…I remember going on vacation last year and listening through this album over and over again during the entire drive down to the state park we went to. The songs still have the same affect on my mood…kind of. Ever So Sweet….oh my god the mood of the songs just put me in such a trance.

I have a few poems that I wrote recently, but I don’t think I’m going to put them up on DA, because I guess people don’t like personal poems I guess.

To Janie, who I bet will read this eventually: sorry about not responding to your comments on my old journal entries. I forget to check my messages a lot. I just check my deviant watches so they don’t pile up on me. (pst call me or something if you ever feel like hanging out. I want to hang out with people like you and Kaylin. I haven’t seen either of you all summer. Well…I did see Kaylin for maybe 2 minutes, but that doesn’t count. Maybe her parents will be ok with me being around her now cus….you know. Yea…you know what I’m thinking. I doubt it… her parents seem to have a problem with any of her guy friends, except the one that’s her boyfriend…..*cough*)

Anyways…Ill be eating diner soon, and I’m out of things to write. ]]> ~drkelement http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/5897246/ http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/5897246/ Sun, 10 Jul 2005 18:18:33 PDT s journal, lol. Thought Id put it in my for the heck of it.

Name: James
Birthday: Sept 12, 1988
Birthplace: Columbus OH
Current Location: bedroom…in Pickerington ohio lol
Eye Color: Brown
Hair Color: Light brown…sometimes people say its near blond
Height: 5'3
Right Handed or Left Handed: right
Your Heritage: Cuban and German
The Shoes You Wore Today: umm…my old vans I think
Your Weakness: To quite and introverted…
Your Fears: Spiders, and being made fun of
Your Perfect Pizza: cheese with sausage pieces and ham?
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Being not so quite so then maybe people will have fun around me
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: Meh
Thoughts First Waking Up: Ugh…lol…I don’t like getting out of bed
Your Best Physical Feature: nothing…Im ugly
Your Bedtime: at the moment none….I go to sleep between 3am and 4:30am
Your Most Missed Memory: parts of 9th grade…fun times Ive spent with friends this year and last
Pepsi or Coke: coke
MacDonalds or Burger King: …neither lol….Wendys!
Single or Group Dates: single lol
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: ….thats kinda freaky. I have a peach Lipton tea in front of me atm.
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee: both! But more Cappuccino
Do you Smoke: Nope
Do you Swear: yes
Do you Sing: when no one is in the house
Do you Shower Daily: yes
Have you Been in Love: …pretty damn sure…ok, yes
Do you want to go to College: Yes because you need a college education to get any good paying job now a days…but no because I know Im going to have to work my ass off.
Do you want to get Married: yes
Do you believe in yourself: not really
Do you get Motion Sickness: car sick…on looong drives
Do you think you are Attractive: Think I already answered that...I know Im not.
Are you a Health Freak: No!
Do you get along with your Parents: Not really…but on occasion things are good.
Do you like Thunderstorms: Yes
Do you play an Instrument: Nope
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: No way
In the past month have you Smoked: Nope
In the past month have you gone on a Date: That’s debatable…Im not sure if it was a date.
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: Yea to go to the theater
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: Nah not an entire box, but I had some last night
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: No
In the past month have you been on Stage: Heck no..
In the past month have you been Dumped: No
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: No
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: No
Ever been Drunk: No
Ever been called a Tease: lol…no
Ever been Beaten up: Nope
Ever Shoplifted: Honestly yes once a few years ago. Cigs for a friend I think.
How do you want to Die: …In my sleep when I’m old I think.
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: Not to sure yet. A writer or some type of artist of course.
What place would u most like to visit: some place in Europe
Number of CDs I own: 20 or so
Number of Piercings: 0
Number of Tattoos: 0
Number of things in my Past I Regret: alot

In a Boy/Girl.

Favourite Eye Color: any
Favourite Hair Color: any (nothing crazy though..)
Short or Long Hair: long
Height: Same as me or shorter…but that’s pretty much never going to happen

Weight: I dunno…I try not to be shallow anymore
Best Clothing Style: Psh, any…just not sluty. Or..cheerleader type….you know? ]]> ~drkelement http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/5894830/ http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/5894830/ Sun, 10 Jul 2005 12:48:03 PDT
But I haven’t done anything with anyone in a while now…I’m not that wanted really. I can understand…I’m just there when I am with people…and that’s it really. I don’t know who actually want anything to do with me anymore…I need to go now so…byebye. Have a nice day whoever.

(I still have some pieces I need to sumbit. Drawings and poems...Ill get around to it soon.) ]]> ~drkelement http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/5556459/ http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/5556459/ Sun, 05 Jun 2005 00:34:22 PDT
(No title yet…)
Isn’t it odd that you can’ get rid
Of those memories in the past
That creates such a strong bond?
Please forget.

Would it scare you if
I where to ask?
You’ve resurfaced something that digs,
Digs away at my heart.

I hesitate.
A gable of something you can fake.
I know what’ at stake here..

I’m so eager
To hold you now
And to lay next to you so calm
I’m not bold and I’m so weak
To let what people say
Tear away at me

I have to run, run, run!
I have so much to ask,
And so much I need to know.

I don’t hate the world
Or everyone around
Some just make loud sounds so wrong.
Just have something to look forward to.
Maybe this isn’t you…

Maybe you do these things to say
Go away and don’t hurt me
I swear I’m fragile
And I just want someone to care

But I dare to try and analyze
Because this is a lot like me…
I just want you to be happy.

I want to just be calm
I want to lay still
Not having to worry
I just want to see through

Ill try to stay this way
You just stay honest and true
And tell me what you feel
So our hearts may heal ]]> ~drkelement http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/5504357/ http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/5504357/ Mon, 30 May 2005 17:00:46 PDT ~drkelement http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/5457113/ http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/5457113/ Wed, 25 May 2005 18:56:21 PDT I’m Sorry, Why Do I feel

Today I escape from this room
And I’m shaking again.
I don’t know why I shiver.
Nothings wrong and all I love is…
Beauty, all I feel is lust.
That must be all.

Beautiful blue.
When I touch you,
The feelings warm.
When you hug me
My heart explodes.

I can’t touch you and there’s nothing for me.
Never hold my hand.
Please just put your arms around me…
Softly.

For I want nothing but warmth.
Nothing is wrong and all I love is….
Beauty, all I feel is lust.
That must be all,
And I’m so sorry.
---------------------------------------- -------------------------------

I fucking hate myself....
Today just sucked...Im so tired of being ugly. I wish I could just stop myself from wanting love... ]]> ~drkelement http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/5302267/ http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/5302267/ Sun, 08 May 2005 12:46:39 PDT I hope that you'll pick me out.
Oh, how I long to be found.
The grass grew high. I laid down.
Now I wait for a hand to lift me up, help me stand.
I have been laying so low
Don't want to lay here no more.

But if everything that happens is supposed to be
and it is predetermined, can't change your destiny.
Then I guess I'll just keep moving, someday, maybe, I'll get to where I'm going.”- Bright Eyes

This song suddenly made me think about life and where I’m going to be in a few years. I wonder if I’m going to get into a good college, even with the trouble I have in school. I think next year I’m going to try a little harder, and senior year, I’m going to work myself to death. I’m also going to ask for help when I really need it from…someone who actually knows how to teach. If there is such a person at my school that is…

I wonder when my new cursive shirt and cd are going to get here. I ordered them on Wednesday I think. I’m also thinking about getting my hair cut because its been bothering me some lately. I want to get it cut short in the back, then leave the bangs long. I know people are going to say…”not so nice” things about it at school, so I’m hesitating. I have been for a long time. Not really “not so nice things”, but I don’t think anyone will like it more than how it is right now. I may just wait two more weeks or so before I actually do it, since only a week will be left of school (around that..). Then it can grow back out a tinny bit so it looks natural.

Anyways…..today has been ok so far. I’ve been kind of bored all weekend because I haven’t had anyone to hang out with. But since my brothers car is FINALLY fixed, I started driving again. I drove for around 3 hours yesterday, some of which was at night. And today I drove for around 2 hours. I actually got to drive on some non narrow, back country roads. Going 45 miles an hour is a lot more fun than going 25 mph >.<. I’m still not doing every turn perfectly right now. I tend to turn to early (sharply) on right hand turns and…I do pretty good with left turns. I think I turn tightly and almost end up off the road though because I used to swing out to far, and this is a result of trying to correct that. I also used to drive kind of left to center every now and then when I first started…so now I drive to close to the right edge of the road. Sigh…

I’m not to sure why I’m writing about all this on deviant, but oh well. I’m just procrastinating doing my algebra homework before I go to work…I need to work on my business report later tonight though (its due Thursday), so I really shouldn’t be procrastinating.

I wanted to color one of my drawings tonight, but I don’t think ill be able to go out later. Yea…almost 4 o clock. So I’m done writing now. ]]> ~drkelement http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/5294941/ http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/5294941/ Sat, 07 May 2005 16:06:48 PDT ~drkelement http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/5241582/ http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/5241582/ Mon, 09 May 2005 14:05:25 PDT ), I have had that image stuck in my head. So I am planning on drawing it. But I need to practice a bit first...so It may be a while before the idea is actually down on paper and presentable.

Wow..I edited this and added Elliott in their...cus im....clueless >.<. ]]> ~drkelement http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/5201400/ http://drkelement.deviantart.com/journal/5201400/ Wed, 27 Apr 2005 06:45:57 PDT I’m now sitting in business class and I cant work on my final project because I have to interview a business owner first. I plan on getting that interview scheduled for this weekend.
So now I’m just browsing around and I found One more step to heaven by he1z and it made me smile. I think it means that once you meet someone that’s perfect for you, you seem like your one step closer to heaven on earth. That’s a nice thought…but why does the path their have to have so many objects that trip you? *sighs*

Hope is some extraordinary spiritual grace that God gives us to control our fears, not to oust them. ~Vincent McNabb

Hope is the feeling we have that the feeling we have is not permanent. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

In reality, hope is the worst of all evils, because it prolongs man's torments. ~Friedrich Nietzsche, Human, All Too Human, 1878

Just some quotes for the heck of it…If I was with my friends right now, I think Id be content to just talk with one person. Or maybe just not talk at all...just listen to them instead.
Im not really listening to Coheed right now...just wish I was. Im dieing for more music about now.

]]> ~drkelement