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]]> ~el-comedian http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/21434999/ http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/21434999/ Tue, 11 Nov 2008 09:07:50 PST
]]> ~el-comedian http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/16393044/ http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/16393044/ Sun, 13 Jan 2008 18:33:44 PST pfft...

]]> ~el-comedian http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/14099859/ http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/14099859/ Fri, 10 Aug 2007 03:06:52 PDT
]]> ~el-comedian http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/11988099/ http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/11988099/ Tue, 27 Feb 2007 13:48:38 PST everything gets melted or burnz...
dat iz baaad thing...

and it is going to be much more baaad....

]]> ~el-comedian http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/10413922/ http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/10413922/ Mon, 16 Oct 2006 15:27:31 PDT
announced to the third parties...

]]> ~el-comedian http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/9382419/ http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/9382419/ Sat, 15 Jul 2006 05:47:32 PDT
du bakalim...
sakin olmak lazim pek mumkun olmasa da... ]]> ~el-comedian http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/9135846/ http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/9135846/ Wed, 21 Jun 2006 10:21:09 PDT
gercek olabilir mi?

galiba bu sefer gercek...

du bakalim... ]]> ~el-comedian http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/6864012/ http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/6864012/ Tue, 25 Oct 2005 12:30:58 PDT how can you understand that r u recovering or not?
i think i am hopeless about recovering...
the hole inside me is still same...
same size,
same darkness,
same pain,
same sorrow...
can feel...
nothing...
i guess i am dying... ]]> ~el-comedian http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/5779739/ http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/5779739/ Tue, 28 Jun 2005 08:55:36 PDT pain
pulls me inside
like a black hole

lost a part of my body
mind
and
soul...

i know i will survive...
it is just a matter of time,
which will take so long in this case...

want to cry
want to shout
want to numb
want to sleep
forever
like in a coma

all mixed
want to vomit

i am bleeding
and i am drowning in my own blood...
cant breath
cant think
cant live...

nobody deserves this kind of end...
nor start...
like a circle
which i cant break

all my fault...
all...

dunno what to do
dunno what to say
dunno what to feel...

i want to extract myself from me...
can anybody help me? ]]> ~el-comedian http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/5147493/ http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/5147493/ Thu, 21 Apr 2005 10:53:01 PDT
got thousands of words to write,
got thousands of words to say...

all meaningless...

feeling sad...
listening space-dye vest...

dunno what to say
dunno what to write

just feeling numb... ]]> ~el-comedian http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/4818072/ http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/4818072/ Thu, 17 Mar 2005 14:51:06 PST
Spread the making love DA around! (you can copy and paste this message on their userpage!)


RULES:
1- You can f**k the person who f**ked you!
2- You can't f**k the same person more than 3 times
3- You -MUST- f**k 6 other people
4- You should f**k them in public! Paste it on their user page! c'mon..don't be scared of public displays of affection
5- Random f**ks are perfectly okay! (and horny)
6- You should most definitly get started f**king right away!
7- You should use condoms or you must request the usage of condoms from your partner.

*3* f**k is all around~~
poligami??? hell yeah...

ps: put uc instead of ** ]]> ~el-comedian http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/4693835/ http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/4693835/ Mon, 28 Feb 2005 14:40:21 PST
people got right to learn his or her health status and decide his or her future...
no matter how close he or she is, families musnt act with their emotions...

sad... ]]> ~el-comedian http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/4534988/ http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/4534988/ Wed, 09 Feb 2005 03:15:30 PST
take good care of your health...

dont let your fellows and friends sit in sarrow while they watch you dead... ]]> ~el-comedian http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/4309794/ http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/4309794/ Thu, 13 Jan 2005 11:13:24 PST
Falling through pages of martens on angels
Feeling my heart pull west
I saw the future dressed as a stranger
Love in a space-dye vest

Love is an act of blood and I'm bleeding
A pool in the shape of a heart
Beauty projection in the reflection
Always the worst way to start

"but he's the sort who can't know
Anyone intimately, least of all a
Woman. he doesn't know what a woman
Is. he wants you for a possession,
Something to look at like a painting or an ivory box.
Something to own and to display. he doesn't want you to be real,
Or to think or to live. he doesn't love you, but I love you.
I want you to have your own thoughts and ideas and feelings, even when
I hold you in my arms. it's our last chance... it's our last chance..."

Now that you're gone I'm trying to take it
Learning to swallow the rage
Found a new girl I think we can make it
As long as she stays on the page

This is not how I want it to end
And I'll never be open again

"...i was gonna move out...ummm...get,
Get a job, get my own place, ummm,
But... I go into the mall where i
Want to work and they tell me, i'm,
I was too young..."

"some people, gave advice before,
About facing the facts, about
Facing reality. and this is, this
Without a doubt, is his biggest
Challenge ever. he's going to have to face it.
You're gonna have to try, he's gonna to have to try and,
Uh, and, and, and get some help here. I mean no one can
Say they know how he feels."

"that, so they say that, in ya know
Like, houston or something, you'd
Say it's a hundred and eighty degrees,
But it's a dry heat.
in houston they say that?
Oh, maybe not. I'm all mixed up.
Dry until they hit the swimming pool."

"...i get up with the sun... listen.
You have your own room to sleep in,
I don't care what you do. I don't
Care when. that door gets locked,
That door gets locked at night by nine o'clock.
If you're not in this house by nine o'clock, then you'd better find some
Place to sleep. because you're not going to be a bum in this house.
Supper is ready..."

There's no one to take my blame
If they wanted to
There's nothing to keep me sane
And it's all the same to you
There's nowhere to set my aim
So I'm everywhere
Never come near me again
Do you really think I need you

I'll never be open again, I could never be open again.
I'll never be open again, I could never be open again.

And I'll smile and I'll learn to pretend
And I'll never be open again
And I'll have no more dreams to defend
And I'll never be open again

Dream Theater (Kevin Moore) - Space-Dye Vest

PS: she doesn't wanted to stay on the pages... ]]> ~el-comedian http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/4100577/ http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/4100577/ Sun, 19 Dec 2004 06:26:17 PST her zamanki gibi bi oda
iki monitor... alet edevat...
calisiyorum...
mevcut dertlerim yetmiyormus gibi, artik yeni bi suru derdim daha var...
en son kendim icin bi sey ne zaman yaptim hatirlamiyorum
en son kendimi ne zaman mutlu hissettim hatirlamiyorum
en son kendimi ne zaman huzurlu hissettim hatirlamiyorum
en son ne zaman dinlendim hatirlamiyorum
en son....

ama ben cok sikildim bunlardan...

herkese iyi yillar...
not: benimki gibi bi hayattan uzak durun...

------
new year is coming...
as usual
i am siting i a room with full of equipments and I am working hardcore...
like my current problems are not enough, I have obtained new problems...
I dont remember when did I something for myself
I dont remember when did I feel happy
I dont remember when did I feel patience
I dont remember when did I rest
I dont remember...

I am bored all of these and those and bla bla bla...

wish you all happy x-mas and new year...
ps: stay away from a life like mine... ]]> ~el-comedian http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/2711460/ http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/2711460/ Mon, 21 Jun 2004 11:27:56 PDT sonucta isinizi basarili buldugum icin +fav ediyorum.

Sizin tesekkur etmeniz durumunda benim de, o guzel isi bizlerle paylastiginiz icin tesekkur etmem gerek ki bu da bizleri kisir donguye goturecek bir surecin baslangici olabilir.

bu sayfadaki mesaj alanini genel bir ilan tahtasi gibi kullanmanizi tercih ederim...
ne biliyim, geyikler donsun, eglenelim falan bence... degil mi?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
You don't have to thank for each +fav which I did.
I like your deviation in many ways, so I +fav it.

when u thank to me, I suppose to thank for sharing that with us, which leads us to a paradox...

you can use as a bulletin board this message are in this page... I prefer...
we all can have phun etc... not? ]]> ~el-comedian http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/2475352/ http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/2475352/ Fri, 21 May 2004 07:41:04 PDT
[link]

at the moment there are not so many options
but keep watching...

more will come ]]> ~el-comedian http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/2234265/ http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/2234265/ Fri, 16 Apr 2004 09:09:22 PDT

sleepless over 20 days (in the middle of an insomnia attact), running from side to side, working over dose... I am begining to get bored of living like this...

this aint living I guess...

I dont know when did I something for myself...
I cant remember...

I really want to go... somewhere...
I really want to do... something...
I really want to breakfree...


yours sincerly... ]]> ~el-comedian http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/2028346/ http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/2028346/ Wed, 17 Mar 2004 06:01:08 PST
j.f. kennedy said it...
dunno why I want to wrote but I want to...

something will happen soon
but dunno what will or when... ]]> ~el-comedian http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/1918854/ http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/1918854/ Fri, 27 Feb 2004 23:31:16 PST
now, I realized that in some cases, good-looking plans may not be good at all...

nevermind...

listening music, watching nickelodeon, drinking coffee and waiting for render...

this is my life and this is what am I doing at the moment... ]]> ~el-comedian http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/1887757/ http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/1887757/ Sun, 22 Feb 2004 08:55:09 PST SOUPISGOODFOOD!!! ]]> ~el-comedian http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/1865907/ http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/1865907/ Wed, 18 Feb 2004 10:08:15 PST soupisgoodfood ]]> ~el-comedian http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/1853861/ http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/1853861/ Mon, 16 Feb 2004 06:33:18 PST
terrible headache...

it hurts... ]]> ~el-comedian http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/1849119/ http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/1849119/ Sun, 15 Feb 2004 10:25:05 PST
it seems it will snow couple of days more...
I like snow but not this often...

anyway...
still alive...
not dead -but well shaken- ]]> ~el-comedian http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/1821543/ http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/1821543/ Tue, 10 Feb 2004 06:56:30 PST

100 Things about me:
INSTRUCTIONS:
1. Copy this whole list into your journal.
2. Bold the things that are true about you.
3. Whatever you don't bold are false

01. When I was younger I made some bad decisions
02. I don't watch much TV these days
03. I love psychadelic mushrooms
04. I love sleeping
05. I have loads of books
06. I once slept in a toilet
07. I love playing video games
08. I like marijuana
09. I watch porn movies
10. I watch them with my father
11. I like sharks
12. I love spiders, I think they're adorable, especially the ones with bright colours on their backs
13. I was born without hair and I still have no hair
14. I like G. Bush
15. People are cool.
16. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year
17. I have a lot to learn
19. I carry my knife everywhere with myself
20. I'm really really smart
21. I've never broken someone's bones
22. I have a secret
23. I hate snow
24. I drink only milk
25. I drink too much water
26. I hate microsoft
27. I love Chinese food
28. I would hate to be famous
29. I am not a morning person
30. I wear glasses
31. I don't need glasses, except sunglasses
32. I have potential
33. I'm pure Japanese
34. My legs are two different sizes
35. I have a twin
36. I'm wearing a padded bra
37. I can ramble on about absolutely nothing
38. I'm left-handed
39. I hate llamas, but I'm one of them
40. I don't like horror movies
41. I suck at climbing, but I love it anyway
42. People hate me usually. eh, probly
43. I love pop music
44. I hardly ever go to bed before midnight
45. I hate parking fines
46. I know national anthem of my country by heart
47. I know more than two languages not good at them but
48. I spend too much time on the computer
49. I often want to throw out the computer in a window
50. I live on a ground floor ... sort of...
51. I don't like chocolate
52. I'd like to be more original
53. I've lied
54. Cocks are my favorite birds
55. I want to conquer the world
56. I wonder what happens when you die
57. I've read all books about Harry Potter
58. Eat your dog!
59. I love to exercise. only if I get time
60. I hate chemistry with a passion
61. I love to write
62. I like changes
63. I hate going to class
64. I am afraid to die
65. I hate dish washing
66. My hair is long, brown, and incredibly curly
67. My nails are nine inch long
68. My favorite color is black
69. I like to sleep on the floor
70. I am hopeless at cooking
71. I sucked my thumb when I was little.
72. I should be doing somehting else rather than writing this
73. I am online a lot, but not in MSN
74. I hate government
75. I don't have a girlfriend/boyfriend
76. I'm too nice for my own good.
77. I love to read, I read as much as I can.
78. I don't trust newspapers
79. I like debating
80. I live in a vagon
81. I clean my room once a month
82. I'm scared of american fast food
83. I have a third eye
84. I love Mozambique
85. I don't trust any religion.
86. I used to play with barbies because all the other girls were doing it
87. I wanted to be a super hero when I was little.
88. I like listening to wind chimes sometimes... others I want to kill them
89. I'm very disorganized
90. My hair is long and straight
91. I earn a lot
92. I don't like spicy food
93. I keep a diary
94. I can't do cartwheels
95. I am very lazy sometimes.....
96. I'm sarcastic
97. I think my hair is annoying
98. I'm very sensitive
99. I love being "ab-normal"
100. My left eye is violet and my right eye is a light blue ]]> ~el-comedian http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/1812460/ http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/1812460/ Sun, 08 Feb 2004 11:10:17 PST
to all I added to friend/devwatch;

it is a pleasure to watch your deviations and no need to thanks becase each one of you deserve to be watched


]]> ~el-comedian http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/1801687/ http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/1801687/ Fri, 06 Feb 2004 01:37:43 PST
still cant take a shower in my flat...
I guess I have to do something...
got no energy... ]]> ~el-comedian http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/1781303/ http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/1781303/ Mon, 02 Feb 2004 06:00:22 PST sent the friends from israel safely back to their countries...

I hate to say goodbye...
so I will say hello... ]]> ~el-comedian http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/1742864/ http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/1742864/ Mon, 26 Jan 2004 03:48:08 PST
will last 3 days... hope dat it will be interesting for me...
also educative...

it is cold here... according to meteo, lastnite was the coldest of last 25 years...

sleep with double sleeping bags in my cold-at the moment- home... I have to fix the windows... oh god lots of thing to do but got no energy... ]]> ~el-comedian http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/1709830/ http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/1709830/ Tue, 20 Jan 2004 00:09:09 PST
tidyied up my home yesterday.
got terrible pain in my chin. using medicines...
got 3 projects and 1 final exam this week. then I will be free for a while which means I can do something for my self...

bad nitez... ]]> ~el-comedian http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/1667594/ http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/1667594/ Mon, 12 Jan 2004 08:52:25 PST still not signed contract for electricity....
lots of works to do
I have to begin to work...

still need to find a job...
got no cash...

everythingz gona be allright
everythingz gona be allright
... ]]> ~el-comedian http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/1646853/ http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/1646853/ Thu, 08 Jan 2004 06:20:12 PST
signed the contract
find a way for electric
I guess I will move on a few days...

mean while I will miss the birthday of my gf how sad and boring...

we suppose to make a private birthday celebration with her

luv ya xxx ]]> ~el-comedian http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/1631676/ http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/1631676/ Mon, 05 Jan 2004 03:18:49 PST today I have to deal with lots of things

electricty for my new home
homeworks
contract for home
find some money
collect some information
clean the house
etc etc

dunno

bored allready ]]> ~el-comedian http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/1611473/ http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/1611473/ Wed, 31 Dec 2003 23:00:35 PST
ye old 2003; what a year for me... " hexplosions" suffering, poverty, sadness, sorrow...

i will try to make things change in 2004...

can I?

dunno...
we will see...

ps: I hope that "what u do at the midnite of new year is what u will do in whole year" stuff is totally lie... I felt asleep ]]> ~el-comedian http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/1602393/ http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/1602393/ Tue, 30 Dec 2003 07:59:03 PST
after nailing my self yesterday, today I was acting totally different than yesterday. dunno why or dunno how long it will lasts but at the moment it feels o.k..

I found a place at last. I will move after the 5th of january I guess... got lots of thing to do... but I can... I know... ]]> ~el-comedian http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/1598559/ http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/1598559/ Mon, 29 Dec 2003 10:28:48 PST It seems it was a good idea...
well
anyway
I have a pierce in my right tit now and it pains
but also it remembers me that I am still alive and still there are more pain that I can fell...

what am I feeling now?
dunno..
I am not trying to feel and think... ]]> ~el-comedian http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/1588453/ http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/1588453/ Fri, 26 Dec 2003 23:14:48 PST I am lucky...
no broken bottles/glasses...
only bottles, bottles and more bottles everywhere...

still need to find a home till the end of this month... only 4 days to go ]]> ~el-comedian http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/1586432/ http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/1586432/ Fri, 26 Dec 2003 13:29:07 PST over 20
from the morning...
I forget to swallow my little green-white...
I think I wont die

do I want to?
I guess so. ]]> ~el-comedian http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/1584453/ http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/1584453/ Thu, 25 Dec 2003 23:43:08 PST it is raining outside...
I am in a friends house...
escaping...
drinking...
tryin to think what to do...
still dunno... ]]> ~el-comedian http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/1575236/ http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/1575236/ Tue, 23 Dec 2003 23:29:01 PST in sorrow

watched a bit of finding nemo...
made me smile...
still didnt watch lotr3... dunno when...
once uppon a time in mexico will be on cinemas on 26th... I think I wont watch that too

how miserable I am
I hate my self when I feel like this...

still need 2 find a home, job and some sort of activities to busy my mind... ]]> ~el-comedian http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/1571565/ http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/1571565/ Tue, 23 Dec 2003 05:27:31 PST only 10 days to find a place...
bored, sad...

lastnite I woke up and cried more than 2 hours without knowing why.

dunno...
life is sad... ]]> ~el-comedian http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/1566719/ http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/1566719/ Mon, 22 Dec 2003 02:04:25 PST I am still unhappy
I am still sad...

I guess listening portishead in the mornings makes no help ]]> ~el-comedian http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/1555563/ http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/1555563/ Fri, 19 Dec 2003 07:18:24 PST still no difference
same shit
different day...
still going down...
unhappy... ]]> ~el-comedian http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/1550868/ http://el-comedian.deviantart.com/journal/1550868/ Thu, 18 Dec 2003 04:09:49 PST this is not a teenager-bullie

I need a home urgent
I need to find a parttime job asap
I need some care and love -not mean sexually

anyone got idea where can I found those? ]]> ~el-comedian