http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:ember-reed&section=today deviantART RSS for by:ember-reed en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Sun, 20 Dec 2009 10:25:00 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/28812416/ http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/28812416/ Mon, 07 Dec 2009 18:24:16 PST
maybe i don't know how to be interesting when i'm not with someone in person, or maybe i come off as an arrogant ass. it could be that i'm too lazy or incompetent to maintain a relationship that develops through typing messages back and forth. i suppose it also doesn't help that i can't get any chat applications to work with my version of lynix.

i'm probably being stupid by asking, and i probably don't deserve an answer either, i'm just kind of upset about alot of things right now and i feel like maybe i might get somewhere if i poke around a bit! i guess i'm just terrible at communities. i'm probably better off just keeping to my work and posting it when i can, i just really wish i could connect with someone right now instead of always feeling like there's something about me that makes me unwanted.

]]> *ember-reed http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/27197364/ http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/27197364/ Sun, 13 Sep 2009 18:31:58 PDT
anyway, i got to go out today. i went to saint peters village with my friends and went jumping on the boulders. it would have been a lot more fun if it hadn't been raining for the last few days, because even though it was gorgeous today, many of the rocks were still wet, and when they're wet, they're more slippery then ice. so, i went down, which was insightful for me since it's been such a long time since i last fell at st. petes. i thought that i'd freeze up, but i seemed to be very aware in the moments of the fall, and ended up controlling my decent so that i landed (more or less) on my feet. that didn't stop me from getting completely soaked though, and though i did avoid any broken bones, i still got a little bloody. with my feet completely soaked it wasn't safe to stay on the boulders, so we hiked back to the car where i put my boots on and we jogged some of the trails. we found this really pretty old quarry that was now full of water a few miles up the trail, then we found a less traveled trail and came across an old bridge that was now just a big gap between us and where we were trying to go. on the other side was an abandoned car that looked like it had been there for at least 30 years. it was really fun. we ended up crossing through the stream and jogged back to the car. it was a good time.

well that was my day, and this is my new journal post! HA!

Clubs I’m in… I think:
]]> *ember-reed http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/26323863/ http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/26323863/ Sat, 01 Aug 2009 18:37:02 PDT
i wish i had time to be a friend. i wish my friends had time for me...

Clubs I’m in… I think:
]]> *ember-reed http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/25393962/ http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/25393962/ Thu, 18 Jun 2009 12:17:06 PDT Pokedex so i haven't really been able to socialize with any of my watchers. i regret that to a significant extent, but stuff needs to get done. so, on to the subject:

otakon. I'll be there. will you? i plan on bringing some killer prints with me to add to the art show. sadly, i did not get a table. i really wanted one, but it just didn't happen. I'll try again next year. that's not the big news tho. anyone like cosplay? I've already spent nearly 100 hours on my costume and I'll probably need a hundred more before I'm done. if you've seen the level of detail in my artwork then you'll drop dead when you see this cosplay. I'll will be posting pictures of it before i leave for the convention so you'll all know what to look for if you want to say hi, but until then i don't want to spoil the surprise. I'm sorry to tell you that if you had planned on participating in the hall cosplay contest, you will be losing to me.

please let me know if you're going. i very rarely get to leave my house for anything other than work and i've almost never gotten the opportunity to meet fellow deviants. last year was the first time i had ever been to otakon and it was life changing. it's what i'm made for, and i want you all to see my cosplay when it's finished. but more important than any of that is my yearning to make new friends. my best friend in the whole world lives several thousand miles away now, and my next best friend wants to leave for alaska soon, which won't change much since i don't ever see him anyway. i hope to meet lots of new people at this event and i hope you'll be one of them! ^_^

since i'm updating for the first time in ages i might as well add a few notes on what life has been like the last few months. in a word, exciting. i work at wawa. for the large percent of you who don't know what that is, it's a chain if convenience stores local to eastern PA. every few months we have a promotion for certain prodects, and this time i made my own adds as a gift for my GM who's an outstanding manager. (best job i've ever had btw) now it seems like i might be picked up by their advertising department since my add has been working it's way up the corporate ladder and everyone has been really impressed! i'm really happy with how well my work was recieved. i hadn't expected it, but i blew their ads out of the water. most of the customers favor my posters over the ones made by the company. it's been really neat! in addition to all of that, i'm still an excellent worker, so everyone has been really kind to me and impressed by my work. i get complimented on a daily basis, which for a leo is like being handed a 20 dollar bill. compliments are my oxygen. i need them to live.

i'm also thinking about taking a welding course after the convention. i can't do it before cause i have my cosplay to work on, plus there's a few more pokedex drawings i want to finish so i can take them with me, but once i'm certified, i'll be able to start working on a proper prototype for my moped which may result in some interesting opportunities should my designs prove as effective as i'd like them to be!

that's it for me. sorry for making you all read so much. i hope you're all doing well. please let me know! ^_^

Clubs I’m in… I think:
http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/24573563/ Sun, 03 May 2009 19:55:41 PDT
the sense that there's something horribly wrong with all of this just keeps growing deeper, and i'm not sure if there's anything i'll be able to do about it!

Clubs I’m in… I think:
]]> *ember-reed http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/23398294/ http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/23398294/ Wed, 25 Feb 2009 12:39:37 PST [link] it's an entry for the *LegoFanClub's contest. i spent every free second i got between work and drawing to put together a "working" model of a gundam themed robot. (i put working in brackest cause it can't come off it's stand without falling over) i figured it'd be a long time before i got another chance since this contest was a free for all. when i got home today, this message was in my inbox as a reply to my deviation:

"good try but its too big and bluckly i my self have built a few gundams in the pass and know what you went thought
try buying some of the non lego kits that have better joint parts that what i had to do
im on version 3 and im builting it from the skeleton up"

ok, so for one, he's barely literate. there's not even a hint of proper punctuation, every sentence dripping with rank attempts at grammar, and a few key words are spelled horribly wrong. this is a typical pet peeve of mine. it irritates me when people can't put forth even the slightest effort to make clear statements in their comments. at the heart of the issue: some guy i don't even know comes along and tells me that i have failed, and he "knows" this because he's better than me, AND HE "KNOWS" THIS BECAUSE HE'S AN ARROGANT !@#$%^&*()))(*&^&*($%!!!!!!1!!1!

"too big and bulky" ??????????? i'm fairly certain that giant robots are, by definition, pretty F***ing BIG and pretty F***ing BULKY!!!! and to make things worse, he has the nerve to promote himself on my page. his only word of advise, the one thing that could possibly make this a critique and not the most asinine comment i've ever received, was that i should get some non lego parts for the joints, which implies that he didn't even read the description, very clearly stating that this was for a LEGO CONTEST!!!! how the F*** can you justify entering a lego contest with non legos. it's completely backwards.

i have no idea why i am so bothered by this, but for some reason, just to think that anyone could be so ignorant as to believe that this comment was anything but an assertion of ones own ego, and that they could assume it's acceptable.... i don't know.... it just drives me mad! to have worked so hard on something and have someone come over and tell you that they could do better... AND NOTHING ELSE!!! i can't understand how anyone can live with being so inconceivably rude. for some reason it's so much easier to ignore outright assholes. but this. it's like trying to hide a slap to the face... if it was someone coming up to me and saying "i'm better than you" i could just ignore it, but this is saying the same thing with subtlety, and it's that subtlety, that half-ass attempt at pretending you're not a COMPLETE ASS... it's just dishonest, on top of everything you are and aren't. i can't stand that!

Clubs I’m in… I think:
http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/23101236/ Mon, 09 Feb 2009 12:12:34 PST
anyway, in other news, i've been really lonely lately. most of my freinds are either thousands of miles away, or too overclocked to see me anymore. it's really been getting to me lately, so if anyone wants to chat with me, i'll try to be online later tonight. i no longer have msn or yahoo, but the aim sn on my front page is still valid, and i also have skype, though i can only use it to chat since i don't have any sound right now. my skype name is ember_reed, just like it is for everything! ^_^

anyway, i'm really tired, and i have alot of drawing to do, but theres one more thing i'd like to say!

i am overwhelmed with gratitude for the incredible amount of new watchers i've recieved over the last few weeks. i didn't have time to thank you all, but just know that i really appreciate all the atention. it has really improved my mood over the last few weeks!

Clubs I’m in… I think:
]]> *ember-reed http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/22601462/ http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/22601462/ Thu, 15 Jan 2009 17:56:10 PST
When You Come Back Down, by Nickel Creek:

You got to leave me now, you got to go alone
You got to chase a dream, one that's all your own
Before it slips away
When you're flyin' high, take my heart along
I'll be the harmony to every lonely song
That you learn to play

When you're soarin' through the air
I'll be your solid ground
Take every chance you dare
I'll still be there
When you come back down
When you come back down

I'll keep lookin' up, awaitin' your return
My greatest fear will be that you will crash and burn
And I won't feel your fire
I'll be the other hand that always holds the line
Connectin' in between your sweet heart and mine
I'm strung out on that wire

And I'll be on the other end, To hear you when you call
Angel, you were born to fly, If you get too high
I'll catch you when you fall
I'll catch you when you fall

[Bridge:]
Your memory's the sunshine every new day brings
I know the sky is calling
Angel, let me help you with your wings

When you're soarin' through the air
I'll be your solid ground
Take every chance you dare

I'll still be there
When you come back down
Take every chance you dare,
I'll still be there
When you come back down
When you come back down

Clubs I’m in… I think:
]]> *ember-reed http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/22531248/ http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/22531248/ Sun, 11 Jan 2009 18:19:13 PST
in other news, i've finally filled the oc group sketch list which means i'll be starting work on it soon, so if you're on the list, look forward to that! i am also currently working on contest pieces for two pokemon clubs, one for ~Pokedex and one for *pokedorks. the pokedex one will be a gijinka recreation of some of the final scenes in pokemon the movie 2000 where zapdos moltress and articuno were put up against lugia. the pokedorks contest piece is a top secret project and i will say nothing more about it until it's completion! in the meantime, i'm gonna try to enter more contests as time becomes more available. i didn't mention earlier due to my lack of enthusiasm, but i have reacquired a job, so i don't have as much free time, and alot less energy as i need to reserve that energy for loathing my job.

anyway, to finish this off, i was supposed to do a tag weeks ago and never got around to it cause of my lack of good internet. now that i can no longer use that excuse, it's time i got this thing done. anyway, i was tagged by ~Kallieth

Rules:
Go to urbandictionary.com and type in your answers to the following questions.
Post the first definition it gives you.
Tag 3 people.

1.) Your name?
[[ember]] - A small, glowing piece of coal or wood, as in a dying fire.
--
i allways thought of it the other way around. like a fire seed. something that persuades the surrounding environment to join in the fire. to me, it's the embers that allow the flames to keep on living, as long as they don't get too cold.

2.) Your age?
[[23]] -The greatest number of all time.
--
i'm not kidding, that's what came up! o_o


3.) One of your friends?
[[Burhan]] rare species of monkey found in SE Britain. unusually long arms and very small feet. you know what they say... burhan has large hands and likes bananas
--
yes, i really do have a freind named burhan, and yes, he has very big hands, but he hates bananas. i will make sure he reads this at some point!


4.) What should you be doing?
[[sleeping]] - To masturbate furiously in your room while praying that your grandma doesn't come in.
--
hmmm. no comment


5.) Favorite color?
[[midnight blue]] - A color that is the epitomy of darkness at night.
--
sweet ^_^ i like darkness


6.) Birthplace?
[[montreal]] - A fine city with a rich and unique history, lovely parks, and a diverse population that is typically recognized for being little more than a great party town by unbelievably lame American jerkoffs who go there to get wasted and hit strip joints.
--
sounds about right!


7.) Month of your birth?
[[august]] - The eigth month of the year characterized by cookouts and swimming!
--
boooooooooooooooring

8.) Last person you talked to?
[[erin]] - 1. Ireland 2. A person's, mostly girl's, name.
--
O_O i didn't know that!!!


9.) One of your nicknames?
[[yesterday]] - the title of a great beatles song!!! the beatles rock!
--
i like that song. never made the connection between the song and my nickname. it was given to me. i wish i could make that up!!

i will tag the first three people to read this journal. take that suckers!

Clubs I’m in… I think:
http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/22277153/ Tue, 30 Dec 2008 10:09:39 PST
1: ~iluvwrath

2: ~Kallieth

3: ~Drathira

4: ~Krazykat0

5: ~pegasusj19

6: ~Robato

7: =lilith-lips

8: ~demonic36

9: =M1A2Tanker

10: ~Regreme

11: ~Red-James

12: *WhiteGaby

13: =Elaine10

14: =burningkyubi

15:

Clubs I’m in… I think:


]]> *ember-reed http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/22254212/ http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/22254212/ Mon, 29 Dec 2008 03:54:23 PST
The os is almost back up, but it’s going to take me at least two days to get everything back to the way it was. I’m also going to be quarantining my computer which means it will not be allowed access to the internet until such a time when I am confident I can prevent this from happening again. I plan on getting another internal hard drive and installing a second operating system (probably ubuntu) and using it exclusively for internet and media. This way the windows components of my computer won’t be infected since they won’t be able to find the other hard drive due to it being formatted on a different file system, and I’ll be able to use the external to communicate properly between the two operating systems. It’s also where I’ll archive all my video’s and music which will remain permanently accessible to both Linux and windows.

That aside, I have taken on a few trades and requests over the past few days, and hope to keep myself open to more trades in the near future. Let me know if you’re interested. Status on those are as follows:

Gijinka for ~bunnyluv2: scanned and ready for coloring.

Angel for ~Sophi3Love: sketching.

Gijinka for ~Kallieth: still thinking ^_^

And now for something new:

Due to my recent loneliness and joblessness, I’ve been rather lonely and have also found myself with a lot of time on my hands. Deviantart has been a blessing in these lonely times and I have strived to get to know people here more. Since I’ve improved my ability to draw so much in the last few months, and I want to to get to know you all more, I want to make a drawing with our oc’s together. So, if you have an oc that you have created as a representation of yourself, or if you just have a picture of yourself that you would like made into a group drawing, please send me a ling as a comment on this journal and I will try to incorporate your character into the drawing. Only one oc per person, and I am willing to accept up to 15 characters into this drawing, but it’s first come first serve, so get on it! ^_^

call it a belated christmas present to all my watchers! ^_^

Clubs I’m in… I think:
http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/21978124/ Sun, 14 Dec 2008 10:17:16 PST
]]> *ember-reed http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/21508794/ http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/21508794/ Sat, 15 Nov 2008 21:26:50 PST
this is really exciting for some reason. i had thought about doing a kiriban for 10,000 but i never got around to it, so i think i'll make one for 20,000. thanks so much to all my new watchers and a big big thankyou to *Pokedex for provising so much of my exposure to the da community. i still feel like an unknown entity here on da, but this place is alot warmer when i know atleast someone is watching ^_^

THANKYOU THANKYOU THANKYOU!!!!!!!!

i have some wall-e and portal gijinka for everyone to look foreward to. once i'm settled into my new place (wherever that may be) i'll color and post them, along with some more pokemon.

WOOHOOO

]]> *ember-reed http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/21303082/ http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/21303082/ Mon, 03 Nov 2008 15:45:01 PST and have been instructed to create a wish list to go along with it. it is essentially a secret santa for deviants where 500 people are assigned to draw something for someone else.

so, my wish list. i suppose what i most want are more character drawings pertaining to the novel i'm working on. since i have no time anymore to work on my own artwork, my origional characters have gone unloved and could use some attention. of my characters, i only have good references for three or four of them, and only two are well developed, so i suppose for anyone wanting to play safe, it might be best to stick to those two. and obviously they are my main protagonist and antagonist.

neru: [link] [link] is my main protagonist and as characters go, she is quite unique. her eyes are gold, her hair is white, and she is not human. (obviously) neru is an android in a future setting approximately 300 years from now. she is also mute, meaning she can't talk, and her legs are prosthetics (meaning she can remove them. her origional legs were destroyed) she can be depicted with or without wings that can be mechanical or standard white feathered. the wings were a birthday gift from her "father" who is responsible for her creation.

azreal: [link] [link] for whom it seems i can only offer horrible references is my main antagonist, and is neru's rival when it come to who is more unique. azreal is a 3000 year old fallen angel (half demon if you like) who can control darkness in the hearts of others and seeks to kill god (i. e. end existence)! he is has lost both his eyes and his toungue but he can sense the world around him by manipulating the "darkness" around him. his sword [link] (the black one) is a demon all of it's own and deep within it is the soul of his father. during one epic battle along the plot one of azreal's black wings is cut off and an oozing black substance spews forth and replaces his lost wing with a deformed demon like wing. as the story progresses this ooze starts to take over and transform the rest of his body. i've yet to attemt to illustrate this so anyone can be creative about it.

the two of them together: [link]

if this seems too complex or if you aren't good at character drawings then i will hapily accept some walle and eve fanart, or possibly something from xenosaga. i'll try and update later with refs for other characters from my novel. this should be alot of fun, and i'm looking forward to drawing something wonderful for whoever is lucky enough to get me! ^_^

]]> *ember-reed http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/20975751/ http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/20975751/ Mon, 13 Oct 2008 18:59:17 PDT
featured on this website would be a massive portfolio of artwork, comics, cosplays, and music available for purchase or browsing, as well as a housing for my book's encyclopedia as well as snippets from it as i complete them. i will tour more conventions as time progresses and i become more organized. i already have a major cosplay well under way, but i want to have a number of them prepared for next otakon. by otakon 2010 i should have some very impressive costumes as well as a large variety of artwork for sale. let me know if your interested, and offer some ideas if you have any about what i should be bringing to conventions whether it be fanart, original work, or something else i haven't thought of yet. i'm open to any and all suggestions! ^_^^

]]> *ember-reed http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/20861721/ http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/20861721/ Mon, 06 Oct 2008 16:32:03 PDT
]]> *ember-reed http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/16264252/ http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/16264252/ Sat, 05 Jan 2008 01:29:21 PST
ever since i finished those portraits i've had an explosion of artistic production. i feel like i know how to draw for the first time in my life; like every time before this i was just stumbling in the dark looking for an idea of how to make an image look half decent. it's almost like there was a plug or something in my brain that i was forced to pull to get those portraits done on time, and since then i've had little to no difficulty in producing work that i'm proud of....

anyway, if you have a facebook, you should be my freind on facebook, and get graffiti so i can draw on your page. comment if you want to be my freind on facebook, and i will note you with my name so you can add me! ^_^

i'll be posting some of my graffiti work here aswell since i enjoy it so much! the best part about graffiti is the replay option, which plays like a video and shows every brushstroke from beginning to end. it has taught me alot! ^_^

]]> *ember-reed http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/16128055/ http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/16128055/ Thu, 27 Dec 2007 18:07:04 PST
]]> *ember-reed http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/14877243/ http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/14877243/ Mon, 01 Oct 2007 20:25:17 PDT these are the english translations to fench aria i'm learning for an audition! (so beautiful)

AFTER A DREAM

once, in a sleep that thy beauty did fashion
i was dreaming a dream of love and passion;

Thine eyes, how soft they were, sweet thy voice, and endearing
all radiant thou as the sky at aurora's appearing

Thou calledst me! and to me it was given
to depart from this earth with thee to heaven

then heav'n to us did secrets surrender,
undreamed of in splendor,
glimpses of glory, deep and tender

alas, alas,
sad it is to wake from dreaming

ah, return to me oh night, give me back thy seeming!
return, return, in thy splendor!
return, oh night, thou mystery tender!

>_<

the french sounds so beautiful, and the melody would break your heart. ^_^

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i can't wait to go to music school!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

]]> *ember-reed http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/14805987/ http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/14805987/ Wed, 26 Sep 2007 20:05:09 PDT _<

]]> *ember-reed http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/14736686/ http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/14736686/ Fri, 21 Sep 2007 23:53:16 PDT
First, WITHOUT looking at the questions below, fill in 12 of your characters.
x_x don’t know if I have enough… lets see:

1) Neru
2) Azreal
3) Keien
4) Axeus
5) Theera
6) Proteus
7) Anna
8) Ai
9) Isaac
10) E. Zarathustra
11) Ember
12) Laurel (borrowed)

Had to borrow one> (sorry hun)

01) Who would make a better college professor, 6 (Proteus) or 11 (Ember)?

Hands down: ember. As far as crazy people go, proteus by far exceeds my expectations for what could ever come out of my head. I think he’s the byproduct of a whole lot of pent up childhood rage I felt towards everyone for making my childhood suck as bad as it did… ember however would be quite the professor. He’s pretty much omnipotent, and while he understands things far beyond the comprehension of fourth dimensional beings, he has a way of explaining things to anyone so that they can be understood. He’d be a wonderful teacher, especially since he loves people, especially young people who are open minded and have a lot to learn! ^_^

02) Do you think 2 (Azreal) is hot? How hot?

maybe… in a dark and mysterious sense, yeah, he kinda might be. If you could ever get past the part where he kills you, you would see that he has a sensitive side, and a very traumatic past which makes him a bit less than open about the fact that he just wants to be free of his hatred. Unfortunately, no one ever makes it past the part where he kills you. it just happens. It’s almost as though he has no control over it. except that he has complete control over it and wouldn’t hesitate to do it a thousand more times if you didn’t get out of his way x_x

03) 12 (Laurel) sends 8 (Ai) on a mission. What is it, and does it succeed?

hmm… this one’s tough. It’s really hard to picture laurel not doing it herself, whatever it is. Though laurel really isn’t my character, so it’s hard to say. I guess laurel might want a beer, in which case, I think Ai would be able to handle it, being married and all…

04) What is or would be 9's (Isaac’s) favorite book?

That would take a great deal of consideration. I really wish that I read more books. He would probably like some sort of science fiction involving an android or some form of artificial intelligence. He’s the first one of his time to successfully create one, so something like that I guess. Anyone know of anything like that?

05) Would it make more sense for 2 (Azreal) to swear loyalty to 6 (Proteus), or the other way around?

Very good one. It just so happens that in the course of the novel, it’s Proteus who swears his undying allegiance to azreal thinking that he is the one and only god who has come to save him from his fears and nightmares. While azreal would have normally just removed him from existence, he could tell that Proteus would never betray him, and so he took his chance and made Proteus his one and only ally.

06) For some reason, 5 (Theera) is looking for a roommate. Should he/she share a studio apartment with 9 (Isaac) or with 10 (Ezekiel)?

Well that’s an easy one, even if they technically have the same dna. Ezekiel is an incredible grouch, and Isaac is an eternal optimist. Besides, Ezekiel ends up turning himself into his own experiment much later on and becomes far more machine than man, but somehow holds on to all of his grudges. Isaac is just happy to have people to talk to, and is incredibly smart to boot.

07) 2 (Azreal), 7 (Anna) and 12 (Laurel) have dinner together. Where do they go, and what do they discuss?

Azreal, being without a tongue ,wouldn’t say much, but rather would simply sit and glare at anna from behind his dark glasses trying to feel her out for the archon she is. Anna would most likely be talking to laurel about how much laurel and azreal have in common as far as their pasts go, and laurel would probably just sit there trying to figure out how a twelve year old girl she just met knows so much about her and their third wheel who can’t speak. As far as a venue, I can’t think of any place that would seat two people who love way too much to kill things, and a little psychic girl who doesn’t seem to eat x_x

08) 3 (Keien) challenges 10 (Ezekiel) to a duel. What happens?

!!!!!!!!!!! wow. I’m so glad I did this now, otherwise I would have never thought to arrange this fight. it would strongly depend on what point in Ezekiel’s life that keien would start the fight it. if it were before Ezekiel started the architects, then it would be a fair fight. Hard to say who would win, but it would be great to see. If it was after he leaves earth to start a colony on the moon, then... ]]> *ember-reed http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/14586238/ http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/14586238/ Tue, 11 Sep 2007 07:33:32 PDT
i'm still open for trades if anyone is interested.

current trades:

- scanned: waiting on color

- sketched: waiting to be scanned


clubs: ]]> *ember-reed http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/14036064/ http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/14036064/ Sun, 05 Aug 2007 22:57:03 PDT
ITS MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'm 22! ^_^

i'm still open for trades if anyone is interested.

current trades:

- scanned: waiting on color

- sketched: waiting to be scanned


clubs: ]]> *ember-reed http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/13591252/ http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/13591252/ Tue, 03 Jul 2007 11:28:54 PDT Geofffffff and ~Drathira for making beautiful renditions of my oc neru, who is to be the main character of my soon to be finished first novel…

Their work:



So, a big thank you is in order for their beautiful works. I am very very happy with them, and I am overjoyed to see other people’s perceptions of her in their artwork.

In the meantime, this means I need to hurry up and finish my end of the bargain… I have a lot of drawings to do, and most of them are for other people, so I need to get off my lazy ass and get to work.

* * *

Anyway… back to why I haven’t been around! At the beginning of last week, I was in Minneapolis for the weekend. Why was I in Minneapolis you say? I was there to see *lullaby-child aka savannah get married. What an awesome ceremony. They got married right at the edge of the lake at her grandparent’s house. most of the wedding party was in costume, which was so beautiful. The best man looked like he came right out of braveheart. (big axe)

So, the ceremony was gorgeous, and very artistic, which is certainly appropriate. I was very happy to see them together. They looked so beautiful together, and I’m certain that they will go on being very happy with each other for ever and ever…

So, a wedding to start off last week… the next day, me and my traveling companion *stitchedmoon aka erin took a long stroll through the mall of America while we waited for our plane… we had a good six hours before we had to be at the airport, so some fun was in order. While we were there, I was introduced to a board game called abalone, which is very fun, very simple, and ridiculously frustrating. It’s a lot like chess in that it depends heavily on strategy, but the rules for the game are unbelievably simple, so it’s dependent on the strategy factor, and not so much on a whole bunch of ridiculous rules. For more info on abalone, see here -> [link])

After coming home really really late from Minneapolis, I went to sleep, and stayed asleep for a while before waking and taking care of some overdue bizness…

Then, last Friday, I got into a car with my beautiful and talented traveling companion, *stitchedmoon and drove to my house where we picked up my brother and his girlfriend, switched cars, and drove for 7 hours to a place I like to call my hometown: Montreal. I drove to Montreal on Friday because Saturday was my grandparent’s fiftieth anniversary celebration, and Sunday was both Canada day, and my other grandma’s birthday. Lots of celebrating… (My family is interesting since one side primarily speaks French, and the other primarily speaks English. Both sides are fairly bilingual, but some speak only one or the other, and I can barely speak French, so it’s kind of a bummer sometimes.)

So, one weekend I’m at a wedding, and the next I’m at a fiftieth anniversary. Interesting combination I think. I was so happy for them. Most of the people in my family build strong long-lasting relationships with the people in their lives, which is evident in my parent’s relationships’ with each other, and the friends they’ve made over the years. The turnout for this celebration was amazing. 130 people, ranging from distant relatives, to close family friends. It was so nice to see so many people I know in the same room. My dad did a really cute presentation for them with PowerPoint, and even though the entire speech was in French, I understood most of it since it was my dad speaking. I’ve always been able to understand him, regardless of my inability to comprehend other languages.

A little while afterwards, my dad, mom, brothers, sister, and I, sang a few pieces for them. We did let the river run togethe... ]]> *ember-reed http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/13276826/ http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/13276826/ Sat, 09 Jun 2007 10:48:37 PDT
To begin, I left my job at Kohle's last week out of financial strain. This was the lowest point of my week since I not only loved that job, but I loved everyone I worked with. Not only that, but having this job allowed me to be completely nocturnal since I worked overnight. Now I am landscaping again, which pays more since I can probably get as many hours as I want, but I've already sustained massive sunburn, and the work still sucks as much as it did last year since it's always really humid and hot. I think I'll go buy some lightweight WHITE fabric and make some pants and shirts I can wear over the summer to protect me from the heat and especially the sun. I think I can stand long sleeves if I can avoid anymore nasty sunburn or ugly tan lines.

Next, my best and longest friend Jeff came to visit from Arizona last week. Later that week, my roommate's sister got home from Italy, and a few days later, my grandparents came from Montréal to see our choral concert. So lots of visitors which was great. We played manhunt while Jeff was in town, which was something I haven’t done in years and enjoyed immensely. All the rest of that week was one celebration after another. I was surrounded by friends and family everyday, and it was something I had not enjoyed in a long time. Oh, and at the beginning of last week, I had just finished season 6 of 24 which was FUCKING INCREDIBLE!!!!! I could not believe the unrealistic mastery of godlikeness that is Jack Bauer.

At the end of last week, we had our concerts. One Friday night, one Saturday night, and a final concert on Sunday afternoon. Friday night was one of the most incredible nights of my life. My director told me an hour before the concert that he wanted me to perform my arrangement of amazing grace before the last song. I was both elated and scared out of my mind. I hadn’t sung it in nearly four months, and I hadn’t performed it in three years. I just wasn’t sure if I’d be able to. The concert went beautifully right up until the time when I would perform my song. Four verses of amazing grace, in front of two hundred people, without any accompaniment whatsoever. The only thing out there was the sound of my voice, completely alone.

When the director called me down from the risers, there was actually a straight line of sight from me to the center of the stage. For having to stand behind fifty people, this has never happened before. I took the center of the stage, with the choir in dire confusion since no one knew about it besides me and the director.

I started to sing. It started badly. My voice was shaking, and I was having hard time breathing.

“amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me”

BOOOM

Just then, there was a great blast of thunder from outdoors, and I could hear the rainfall on the roof of the church. Something happened to me when I heard it, and I felt empowered. Like I could do anything inside that moment.

“I once was lost, but now am found. was blind, but now I see”

This line comes out so beautifully that it gives ME goosebumps. The rest of the song was so unreal, that by the end, I couldn’t believe I was the one singing it. The notes rang back at me from the back wall of the church as though my shadow were singing back at me. The only sound to accompany me was that of the storm outside. It was a magical experience that I have no comparison to. I sang that piece better that night than I ever have before, and ever have since. It was un real.

At the end of the concert, during the reception, people were lining up to congratulate and thank me for my presentation. I was overwhelmed with gratitude for their kindness. Some people wanted to hug me; others wanted to shake my hand. I had the entire front row in tears by the end of my song. It was extraordinary.

The next two concerts went just as well. We had a party on Saturday night with my sister and some of her friends. I had a blast, and drank plenty. I like that I never have to pay for alcohol. ^_^

This week I started my new job landscaping. Also, my good friends Joe and Burhan, which I spend the bulk of my time with since Jeff left for Arizona, finally started getting along with each other. They were mortal enemies for the last four months, and now they’re like best friends.

The landscap... ]]> *ember-reed http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/13084297/ http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/13084297/ Fri, 25 May 2007 04:10:07 PDT
so...

if i do a trade with someone i would like it to be with someone who is atleast relatively close to my range of skill. if you are crazy better than me, or if you can only scribble, then no thanks... (but don't sell yourself short either. you may be better than you think)

i would also like to note that i am fantastic at drawing androids, mechas, tribal tattoos, armor, and i tend to have a knack for drawing really spiffy and or detailed outfits on people. i also love to draw anything with wings.

i cannot draw anything cute. it is not a personal preference thing, it's just impossible for me to do.
i like cute things, but i can't draw them. its a fact, not a choice. i'm also just getting into doing moderate poses, and basic expressions, so anything that relies heavily on these two things probably wont come out to your standards.

anyway, i just thought i would put that out there. note me if your intersted. and please, don't agree to draw something for me and then don't. it would make me very sad...

i am also interested in collabs, but since i have only done collabs with people i know or within speaking range, i don't really know how to procede with one. just note me with the details, and we'll work something out!


also...


from


If you comment...

1- I'll answer with something random about you.
2- I'll dare you to try something.
3- I'll say a color I associate with you.
4- I'll tell you something I like about you.
5- I'll tell you something I always remember about you / a first memory about you.
6- I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7- I'll ask you something I always wanted to ask you.
8- If I do this for you, you must put this in your journal.

clubs: ]]> *ember-reed http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/13033959/ http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/13033959/ Mon, 21 May 2007 04:59:28 PDT

He he… I made my first animated gifs ever. Actually, I can’t really say that considering that I used to do them all the time when I was like 6 years old. But for not having done any in 17 years, I’d say it came out looking very nice! ^_^ the one on the right of course is me, and the icon that matches it to the left is the one I made for my girlfriend. It’s of her character lily! ^_^ awe, they’re SO CUTE!!!!!!

So, I finally got some artwork posted on some clubs. >_< I am elated about it… I haven’t had this many messages ever!!! So I guess I can’t complain about being invisible anymore! ^_^ I am finally getting attention. Makes me really happy….

That is all I have to report! woot

clubs: ]]> *ember-reed http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/12961090/ http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/12961090/ Tue, 15 May 2007 04:03:31 PDT

Whenever I am on DA and I feel as though I have nothing better to do, I like to visit the help with life forums in an attempt to be of service to others. My experience in doing this has taught me that I am a very content person, and that I have a good grasp on my life and what it means to me. It seemed only fair to share my thoughts on the subject. Thoughts that have helped me with my life:

Happiness comes from within. It is a part of you. If you have ever been happy, then there is something within you worth admiring. Love is no different. You cannot love others unless you love yourself. You love another, than that is proof that you are worth being loved.

Life is not meant to be taken seriously. The universe is a big place with lots of vacancies. The world is not as big as people tend to think it is, and it’s bigger. Nothing lasts forever, and that goes for your problems aswell. Take your time, think about it, and don’t let your grip on your reality tire your hands. You’ll need them for writing.

Thinking is the most fun think you can do when you’re board. Don’t measure your successes by what others perceive it as. You know you best. Your mind will always be your greatest weapon. Use it well, and take care of it. Be sure you are always challenging your view of the world. It will get stale if it stays the same for too long.

Journeys are never over, but don’t think you can’t stop and take a break once in a while. You’re not really going anywhere since space and time are relative. If you really want to know where you’re going in life, just look around you. You’re already there. It’s a trip from moment to moment. Save your energy for the moments that will matter the most.

People can’t hurt you. To be hurt is to decide to be hurt. This works both ways ^_^

Your friends will change as much as you will. They are never the same from one moment to the next. Don’t smother them, and don’t ignore them either. You will know who they are when you need them the most. You will need them the most when you least expect it. They won’t be with you forever. We all have separate paths in life. Value the times that they cross. Don’t force them to stay when it’s time for them to leave.

Your life is yours. Your beliefs are yours. Your thoughts are yours. Your feelings are yours. Nothing else belongs to you, so do what you want with them.

When you can’t decide the difference between what is right and what is wrong, look into your heart. Listen closely. It knows the answer.

God cannot save you because god is a part of you. The power of god is yours to weild. If you think you do not have the power to save yourself, then neither does god.

Be happy. If you have better things to do, then I’d like to know what they are! ^_^

clubs: ]]> *ember-reed http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/12907224/ http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/12907224/ Thu, 10 May 2007 03:42:26 PDT stitchedmoon ...

i have to name ten things i like that begin with the letter a.

here goes...

1: Air
2: the music of Andy Mckee
3: Afro celt soundsystem
4: Apples are ok. bananas are better!
5: Anarchy... the good kind.
6: Anime... wut
7: Aerodynamics
8: Apoptygma berzerk from norway. (the politzai are closing the concert)
9: Assemblage 23
10: Angels! o_O

there. note me, and i'll give you a letter. just kidding... noone's even gona read this stupid thing. x_x

blah

clubs: ]]> *ember-reed http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/12901604/ http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/12901604/ Wed, 09 May 2007 15:41:15 PDT
To begin, I have rejoiced in the fact that I have had a blast with my art work lately. It was really nice to let my brain take a rest from thinking about my story all the time and give my right brain a field day with something totally silly and awesome. There’s a club on [link] called pokedex, where members draw their favorite pokemon as humans or in some sort of human form. As soon as a saw it, I couldn’t stop myself. I dre w four pokemon inside of a week, which is really saying something for me since I am usually very slow and reluctant about drawing anything, especially people-like things.

The amazing aspect of it all is that as soon as the idea’s popped into my head, I lost all my apprehensions about drawing figures and just did it. I ended up with some outstanding pokemon. If you would like to take a look at the finished product, then:

[link]

And, AND, I finally tried experimenting with coloring using the crappy imitation Photoshop I have installed on my computer. All of my presumptions about it sucking are still effective today, but the pictures I did turned out all right! ^_^ it was really fun to do. I enjoy experimentation!!!

What has made me most joyous this whole week tho is the realization of how mature I have become. I truly believe that I have far surpassed the rest of my peers on the road of life, and it has become apparent in the way the people around me have come to perceive me.

I have many examples of this, but one that made me nearly burst with enthusiasm was a night at work a few weeks ago. One of my co-workers; a woman named Patrice, approached me after our lunch break before everyone else had gotten back and pulled me aside. Her words:

“Listen, I wanted to talk to you before everyone else got back from break. I just wanted you to know that when I first met you, you kind of rubbed me the wrong way, but lately I’ve noticed that you really seem quite savvy. I don’t know what it is about you, but really seem to know more than most people, and I wanted you to know that.”

I’m paraphrasing since my memory still kinda sucks, but she really did use the word savvy, which as SOO COOL!!! What is so wonderful about this though is that this is not the first time it has happened! This was the fourth occurrence in the span af a few months that someone has remarked on my wisdom. One came from my dad, which meant the world to me, but the others came from people I had barely known for even a year, and all of them were adults. Not young adults. Maybe this changes nothing, and maybe it changes everything, but to hear these things from people who have been on this earth 20 years more than me is saying something that I have been reluctant to hear.

I don’t want it to sound as though I am being egotistical, even though I have the sneaking suspicion that it does. It has just been a powerful revelation for me. That I am still very special. I thought I had lost that identity when I left high school. I had so many teachers either singing my praises or cursing the very day I was born. My guidance counselor had compared me to Einstein on several occasions which may have been an overstatement, but it still made me feel as though I had been given some special purpose. I feel alive like that again, and it makes me feel wonderful.

Another thing that people have picked up on is my powerful sense of good music. I have been told by atleast ten people that I have the best taste in music. That also makes me very happy. Music is among the most powerful influences in my life. Knowing that the music in my life is of the best or greatest quality makes my feel like I have a powerful foundation on which to base my spiritual growth.

To sum it all up, I am very happy right now, and I think that can only get better.

In the realm of bad news, my car is out of commission. The rear driver side tire on my jeep exploded last week, and I have no means of repairing or replacing it. Without the funds to do anything about it, I am dependent on rides or my own two legs for transportation. Also, my shocks are broken again.

Thankfully for me, I am physiologically incapable of worrying about it. I don’t e... ]]> *ember-reed http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/12787298/ http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/12787298/ Mon, 30 Apr 2007 07:10:10 PDT
So, my week: I think I should first mention that my “w” key is broken again, and has once again been replaced by the ctrl v function. This really really sucks, but I think I will take my sisters advice and clean my keyboard so this stops happening. If you see any words in my next few posts that don’t make sense, try inserting a w before making any judgments about my mental capacity.

I went out with my friend Burhan again this last Friday. I will not recount my evening for fear of massive spamming. I’ll just say it was interesting, and I had fun. Also, I remembered the whole thing this time. Go me.

After filling out one of those visual DNA things sometime earlier this week, I have discovered that all I really want in life is to go to a rave and dance to sweet techno music. I wish to satisfy this desire sometime in the next month. Vnv nation rules. (There are no raves in phili that I know of, so this task may be extremely difficult)

I watched the extended version of “what the bleep down the rabbit hole” and learned a lot on the subject of neural networks that should help me overcome my inability to summon my creativity more avidly in life. It also reassured me of my path in life, so I am happy to say that I am still very much on a journey to save the world. How successful I will be depends greatly on how quickly I am able to overcome my laziness.

Finally, I decided yesterday that I definitely want to go back to school. This time I will be studying voice: My voice in particular, and how I can use it to attain my goals. I am still writing, so no one worry; I just really love to sing. Speaking of my writing, it is going well. I finally have a concise order for all the events to take place in chapter one, and have started revising what I have already written for it to match my new outline. I think I will see how far into the story I can outline precisely before I have to stop and think about it. I doubt I’ll get much farther than chapter one, but it’s worth a shot! ^_^

Anyway, I haven’t had any revelations in a while, so this probably isn’t very engaging. I just didn’t want to lose the routine. Last day of April and all. ^_^

]]> *ember-reed http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/12699329/ http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/12699329/ Mon, 23 Apr 2007 00:55:44 PDT
Anyway, I had been spending a lot of time there since it helps me creatively when I listen to peoples problems and try to find real solutions for them, and it occurred to me that the answers I was supplying to the people on this forum were usually a lot more in depth and significantly more advanced than most would care to attempt. My replies were usually well outside of peoples expectations. It occurred to me then that there might be forums on some of the other communities to which I am a member.

I check live journal immediately to see if I can find something there: no forums. So I skip it and look into opendiary.com, which I just joined a few days ago. Behold: I see a philosophy forum in a little subcategory at the bottom of the page. I am interested, so I click on the link in hopes of finding something that will interest me. I am blown by what I find.

Here are all the deep thinkers I have been without my entire life. People who devote as much of themselves to thought as I do. People who post and reply with well thought out, comprehensible questions and responses. I suddenly feel like I have found my kind. There are times I think I am the only one on this earth more concerned with the fate of the universe then how I’m going to pay for gas. The triviality of everyday life is even more apparent when in the company of those who realize what truly matters in life.

The best aspect of it all is that I finally have people I can discuss things with on even grade. Once you have entered the realm of thought, everyone finds their fundamentals. These fundamentals are what all our beliefs rest upon. If when you put your beliefs to the test against those of another and they stand the wear, then you are that much closer to finding truth. If not, then you are still closer to the truth, because you know what isn’t true. If your ideas can’t stand this test, then it is worth the effort to reevaluate what you believe in.

This is where the real war is fought. This is the true battle ground. This is a struggle that has withstood thousands of years, and now I finally think I have found worthy adversaries I can learn from, or even teach from my own wisdom. The world is a little less desolate today.

]]> *ember-reed http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/12677412/ http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/12677412/ Sat, 21 Apr 2007 08:00:28 PDT
The night started off pretty normal as we left the apartment and made our way to Villanova. Our first stop was a Mediterranean restaurant, which I could have done without since I had already eaten dinner once that night. The food was delicious; despite the little room I had left to store it. John, who had brought wine to the dinner, was content in filling my glass whenever I wasn’t looking. To the unsuspecting observer (me), I had about two glasses. I had infact finished half the bottle by the time we got up to go to the bar.

Now by this time, I am already quite drunk. I am known to keep most of my wits about me when intoxicated, but this time I am having difficulty. When we sit down, burhan brings everyone a round of beers, and a round of what I remember being called yeagerbombs. The beer was disgusting as per usual, but the yeagerbombs tasted exactly like those little round candies called smarties. (In Canada, they’re called rockets) I would discover later that the alcohol content of these delicious drinks was actually dangerously high.

We laugh, and drink, and listen to music. After finishing two yeagerbombs, things start to get fuzzy. I don’t entirely remember leaving the bar, but I do remember being in another one. This one was a bit larger, had a pool table, and a dance floor. I think I remember burhan dancing a bit. Then I remember seeing only the lights on top of a cop car. I remember the side of the road outside a gas station. I remember a pat on the back. I remember taking my license from my wallet but not knowing why. I remember the wind outside the car. I remember something on the door.

Then I remember waking up this morning, not knowing how I got there. There was a trash can next to me, and my shirt was unbuttoned. I was told that after the second bar, we left for home. I was told that I threw up twice out the side of johns car, but I don’t remember getting sick (though I do remember trailing something on the side). I was told that we were stopped by the police twice, and we were cleared twice since I was the only one demonstrating signs of drunkenness, and I was in the backseat. I was told that I was ranting in French and for a long while, I spoke no other language. What I still don’t know is how I made it home, or how I ended up in the armchair in the living room safe and sound.

I still feel a bit drunk, but the headache is finally settling in, the dizziness is going away, and my higher cognitive functions are returning to me. I felt terrible upon discovering what a mess I was, but all burhan could say was that he was proud of me. I think he said john was just as proud, and that I didn’t have to worry about the car since he was getting it cleaned today.

I can honestly say that I never want to drink that much ever again. Just thinking about it is making me nauseous. Actually, that might just be the hangover. In either case, I am not at all comfortable with not knowing what transpired last night. I am okay with a beer or two, but that was too much. I appreciate burhan and john’s efforts to show me a good time while I was out, but I think I’ll tell them to take it easy next time. I don’t think they realize how little time I spend outside of my own house.

If there is anyone out there who is thinking that getting really drunk is a good idea, then I am here to smack you over the head. BAD IDEA. Never again…

]]> *ember-reed http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/12662407/ http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/12662407/ Fri, 20 Apr 2007 00:58:10 PDT
WOOT!!!

Here’s the link -> [link]

now i'm gonna do a dance!!

doo doo doo-doo, doo doo doo doo-doo, doo doo doo-doo, doo doo doo doo-doo!

]]> *ember-reed http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/12644002/ http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/12644002/ Wed, 18 Apr 2007 14:48:20 PDT
I have three journals now. One on deviantart, one with livejournal, and a new one I just started on opendiary. I guess I wanted people to listen to what I had to say. Maybe even benefit from it. I usually only talk about what’s happening in my mind. I figure, if someone could find another mind to compare to, the might be able to gauge how their minds are working. There are times I think that everyone thinks the same way, and we are all the result of circumstance. There are other times I think that we are all have a different perspective of the same individual. It’s nearly impossible for me to think, after everything I have seen, to believe that we all have different minds.

The thought I like the most, is that everyone has the power to make anything happen. I really truly want to believe it is possible. It’s an idea that has walked by my side my entire life. I think that whatever I think becomes true. What I want is for everyone to believe that. I think if we think together, then we can make things beyond our wildest dreams. We could make anything happen.

There are times that I shrink at the thought of the size of our potential. I think I will never meet it, nor will I ever have the courage to even stand in its presence. It’s staggering to know, not think: KNOW what we are capable of. There are elements of our world holding us back, and if they were to disappear today, we could be endless. But we are holding on to them for dear life. Like being in a great wind, clinging for dear life, but if we were to release our grasp, we could fly.

I want to be a part of a better world, but I am cowering at the sight of it. It’s so big and so grand, that I can only see it from really far away. I want to be strong, but it’s hard, so I shrink down again. I want to be brave, but it’s frightening. What’s so sad about all of this is that none of these obstacles exist. I made them up. They’re in my mind, and I have complete control over all of it. I am clinging to my fear, and to my weakness. I’ve been clinging for so long, that I can’t remember what it felt like to let go.

It’s like the first time I ever jumped into the pool without worrying about how cold it was gonna be. That freedom from worry is freedom. If I could sit down and just write, without worrying about how well it would turn out, or if I could sit down and draw what’s in my mind, without fussing over what anyone else would think about it. I look back on how easy these things used to be, and now, it’s not so easy.

I need to let go of this fear, and let myself fly like I know I can. I have done it before, and suddenly it’s hard. Why is it hard? I want to be free like I was. I want to breathe air as though it was the greatest gift I had ever been given. I want to eat food without wondering when I’ll run out. I want to sleep without thinking about when I’ll need to wake up again. These things I had, and more are all but gone from me, and I want them back like I have never wanted anything in my life. I want to walk the path I’ve made for myself, and never have to look over my shoulder again. Eyes foreword, and get moving.

If I could forget my fears, I could do anything again. It’s all possible; I just have to believe again. I need to stop worrying about how long it will take, or how much work I need to do, and JUST FREAKING DO IT ALLREADY!!! I don’t want to sit here in my room feeling miserable about the fact that I have yet to succeed. I know better than anyone that if you don’t try, you don’t succeed. It’s been weeks since I even tried to write something for my book, or tried to fill a page with the faces of my characters. All I can think about anymore is how I felt the last time I failed. It doesn’t matter as long as I don’t give up.

I want to believe that I will change, but every time I have ever made that decision, I loose my momentum in only a day or two. Sometimes even in a few hours. What I need is a push in the right direction, and maybe that’s why I’ve been calling out to the world like this. I feel so alone in my struggle that I can’t help but be overwhelmed. I want people to listen to me when I say that I feel helpless, but it’s my fault that I feel that way, and I know I have total control over it. I want to know that I’m not alone. I wish there were more people I could share my life with, or more people who understood. I guess I just want attention…
*ember-reed http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/12413765/ http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/12413765/ Sun, 01 Apr 2007 09:27:57 PDT
just thought i'd update my journal. didn't like the last one. it sounded too depressing for an optimist like me. not that it wasn't very accurate to the feelings i had at the time, and they haven't changed neither. just prefer an uppper to a downer. besides, i keep all my journal stuffs on LJ now! go me!

news: book's going good; art is on an upswing; my tendencies towards musics is rising from the dead, and i'm trying to find a good day to break in my body for the first time this season at st. petes village! ^_^

good day...

]]> *ember-reed http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/11743215/ http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/11743215/ Fri, 09 Feb 2007 04:22:27 PST
It has taken me some time to realize it, and I have suffered greatly as a direct result of my ignorance, but at some point within the last few years, or the last few months, or weeks, or days, or even in the last few hours, I slowly and yet suddenly became aware of the fact that I have been spreading myself thin over my activities, and it has recently begun to manifest in my inability to even start something without being completely overwhelmed with a sudden sense of not being able to encompass the scale of my endeavors.

My inability to choose a path in life has left me in such a state that I am paralyzed, and unable to complete even simple tasks like taking care of myself, unwilling to cut out something from my life, and remaining suck in some kind of an endless stale mate. For so long I could not imagine my life without someday being a great musician, and a great artist, and a renowned scientist, and an accomplished engineer, and a famous singer, and an acclaimed film maker. When I realized that the future I was looking at was too big to fit into one lifetime, it became clear, that until I was to excel at anything, I was going to have to give up something else first.

While I have loved drawing for as long as I can remember, and have become exceedingly good in certain aspects, I cannot see my future lying with visual art. while it has inspired me, and provided me with some of the strongest lessons of discipline I will ever carry with me, it does not contain a big enough piece of my destiny, so I have instead decided to devote myself , for the time being, to reading, writing, and music. Until I have succeeded in writing, at the very least, one novel I can be proud of, I won't be drawing much anymore. This is not to say I will never draw again, but rather, it is a declaration, to me, and to my friends, that my destiny is now mine to behold, and the time has come for me to make my first steps onto a new path. I’ve made this fork in the road so wide and grand, that it almost engulfed my future, but from now on, I can dedicate my energy to a single path I am proud to walk forth on.

i want to thank everyone who has shared their work with me, and everyone who has taken the time to look at mine. art has always been a source of immense joy, and wonderful pain, and the lessons it has taught me will serve me well. i won't take this page down, but i won't be real active for a while to come, so if anyone is actually willing to follow me, i have a brand new live journal, where i am keeping track of my quest for my first novel. i welcome the support and friendship, and i hope that i will allways carry with me the experiences DA has brought me.

oh yeah, heres a link to my live journal -> [link]

]]> *ember-reed http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/10566462/ http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/10566462/ Tue, 31 Oct 2006 04:14:25 PST
got this from

[link]

There are 12 letters in your name.
Those 12 letters total to 64
There are 5 vowels and 7 consonants in your name.

Your number is: 1

The characteristics of #1 are: Initiating action, pioneering, leading, independent, attaining, individual.

The expression or destiny for #1:
A number 1 Expression denotes the skilled executive with keen administrative capabilities. You must develop the capacity to be a fine leader, sales executive, or promoter. You have the tools to become an original person with a creative approach to problem solving, and a penchant for initiating action. Someone may have to follow behind you to handle the details, but you know how to get things going and make things happen. You have a good mind and the ability to use it for your advancement. Because of these factors, you have much potential for achievement and financial rewards. Frequently, this expression belongs to one running a business or striving to achieve a level of accomplishment on ones talents and efforts. You have little need for much supervision, preferring to act on your own with little restraint. You are both ambitious and determined. Self-confident and self-reliant must be yours, as you develop a strong unyielding will and the courage of your convictions.

Although you fear loneliness, you want to be left alone. You fear routine and being in a rut. You often jump the gun because you are afraid of being left behind.

The negative attributes of the 1 Expression are egotism and a self-centered approach to life. This is an aggressive number and if it is over-emphasized it is very hard to live with. You do not have to be overly aggressive to fulfill your destiny. The 1 has a natural instinct to dominate and to be the boss; adhering to the concept of being number One. Again, you do not have to dominate and destroy in order to lead and manage.

Your Soul Urge number is: 8

A Soul Urge number of 8 means:
With an 8 soul urge, you have a natural flair for big business and the challenges imposed by the commercial world. Power, status and success are very important to you. You have strong urges to supervise, organize and lead. Material desires are also very pronounced. You have good executive abilities, and with these, confidence, energy and ambition.

Your mind is analytical and judgment sound; you're a good judge of material values and also human character. Self-controlled, you rarely let emotions cloud judgment. You are somewhat of an organizer at heart, and you like to keep those beneath you organized and on a proper track. This is a personality that wants to lead, not follow. You want to be known for your planning ability and solid judgment.

The negative aspects of the 8 soul urge are the often dominating and exacting attitude. You may have a tendency to be very rigid, sometimes stubborn.

Your Inner Dream number is: 11

An Inner Dream number of 11 means:
You dream of casting the light of illumination; of being the true idealist. You secretly believe there is more to life than we can know or prove, and you would like to be provider of the 'word' from on high.

]]> *ember-reed http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/10286194/ http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/10286194/ Wed, 04 Oct 2006 18:51:48 PDT
now that i have experiences how much fun this was, i am also very very open to doing art trades with anyone who is interested. especially for character drawings since all my characters are best drawn by other people!

^_^ i think thats all i got to say for the moment! BAI!

]]> *ember-reed http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/10106988/ http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/10106988/ Sat, 23 Sep 2006 00:41:57 PDT
Rules!
• Only one character per requester.
• References for original characters, please.
• You must do 10 requests for people in your journal as well.

Sketches!
1. - done
2. - done
3. - sketching
4. - done
5. - sketching
6. -done
7. -done
8. open
9. open
10. open

(personal note)- the third rule does not apply to anyone who allready has this in their journal!

still have three open spots... i won't make you do ten sketches for ten other people anymore... so just ask for something. maybe we can trade!

]]> *ember-reed http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/9716697/ http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/9716697/ Sun, 13 Aug 2006 18:40:54 PDT Mood: ...
Listening to: ian van dahl - inspiration
Watching: fma

random thingy i had to cut and paste to my journal. follow these instructions! ^_^

A) First, recommend to me:
1. a movie
2. a fun thing to do
3. a musical artist, song, or album

(B) I want everyone who reads this to ask me three questions. Ask me anything you want. ANYTHING! I'll give you the absolute honest truth.

(C) Then I want you to go to your journal, copy and paste this allowing your friends to ask you anything.

]]> *ember-reed http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/9652704/ http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/9652704/ Tue, 08 Aug 2006 17:45:02 PDT Mood: uAAAAA!@#$%^&*(
Listening to: louis leerink - endless sorrow
Watching: naruto

holy crap!!! WHAT JUST HAPPENED HERE. it took me almost 20 minutes just to figure out how to make a new journal entry. this is craziness!!!!!

well, you're probably all facing the same problems... ^_^ oh well.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHA HA HAAAAHAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHHHHHHAUUUUUUUAUAHHH HHHAHAHHAAA!!!!!

]]> *ember-reed http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/9627126/ http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/9627126/ Mon, 07 Aug 2006 10:08:33 PDT Mood: ugh
Listening to: funeral march
Watching: naruto

holy crap, it's gonna take me weeks to recover from yesterday. i had so much fun... let's recap!

12:00 midnight: i made the journal entry on da and retreated to my brothers room where he was forced to loose to me in super smash brothers melee over and over again! (every year on my birthday, my brother is required to loose to me at everything!)

9:00am: i woke up, ate toast and watched anime for two hours ^_^

12:00: my freind burhan and his girlfriend took me out to the creek to go kayaking (thats probably spelled wrong, but thats ok) for an hour and a half where i got blisters all over my left hand. (they still burn) it was fun anyway!

2:00pm: after getting back, we played halo for about an hour.

3:00pm: me and burhan take the van to eric's house where we steal his pain-ball while he's sleeping and take it hostage to my pool. afterwards we get in the pool. the burning sensation in my hand of the chlorine seeping into my blisters is the first strike of a world of pain to come!

5:00pm: after spending an hour in the pool, my darling girlfriend shows up, and changes into her baithing suite. i gat to see her in her baithing suit about once a year, and i wish i had pictures... STUNNING she is so hot and she doesn't even know it. i am overjoyed for the next few hours ^_^

6:00-10:00pm: all my freinds begin to show up at random times from eachother. we play game after game of pain-ball, trying to keep it in the pool, but it escalates. we have cake, which my dad smears in my face, and then dunks me in the pool, and i get him back when we play our third round of pain ball. then jeff shows up, and reminds everyone why we call it PAIN-ball. (he hit me really hard, and i tried to block it with my arm. the force caused me to elbow myself in the jaw. i still can't eat or talk right... x_x)

10:00pm: everyone leaves, and me, burhan, bob, and my parents go to a bar. we drink beer, play pool, and leave around midnight. on the ride home, i sit in front with my mom, and we had a really nice talk the whole ride home.

1:00am: (day after) i go to sleep. good times! ^_^

now that i am awake, I AM REMINDED, why we call pain-ball, PAIN-ball. i hurt everywhere. my legs and arms are useless. i ruined all but two of my fingernails, and the concrete floor of my pool claimed the skin of my feet, so i've been walking on my heels all morning.

(ps, painball is where we take this really big rubber ball, fill it an eighth of the way with water, deflate it slightly, and the get all us rowdy boys to beat the ever-loving crap out of eachother with it in the pool! good fun...)

so, i am OUT OF COMMISSION for the next few days! till then!

]]> *ember-reed http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/9612034/ http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/9612034/ Sat, 05 Aug 2006 21:21:50 PDT Mood: bwa-hah-hah
Listening to: the birthday song
Watching: naruto

and an early birthday wish to DA!

TODAY: august sixth. i turn 21! thats right! it's my birthday. i will not be around to check my messages, nor will i be online chatting. starting right now, i am doing nothing burt relaxing, enjoying the brilliant weather, and throwing birthday guests into the pool. there will be no escape! >_<

and what do i ask on this birthday of mine. first of all, if you get me something: YOU'RE DEAD! cause i will kill you. there is no greater gift than the gift of nothing. my friend jeff, who is a week and a day younger than me, will have his birthday soon, and i hope i get a whole lot of nothing i can dump on him for his b-day! ^_^

well wishes are happily accepted! and i hope everyone i know will be at my party today! >_<

as a final note: thankyou to everyone who has supported me here on day. this marks the first whole year i've been here, and i can only hope it's going to get much better! ^_^

till monday, BAI-BAI!!!!

]]> *ember-reed http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/9590547/ http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/9590547/ Thu, 03 Aug 2006 18:29:03 PDT Mood: hah-hah
Listening to: ME!- trancescence
Watching: flcl

well, i had a lot of fun last time i did this, so here we go again.

i got to look through toms of wonderful artworks, and of them i picked out all the ones i liked the most! HER YA GO!





http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/9492921/ Tue, 25 Jul 2006 17:59:04 PDT Mood: hah-hah
Listening to: audio active- time lines
Watching: xenosaga

ok, so i posted a note on the forum asking for people to post their works for a journal feature, and i promised i would feature every deviation i found to be beautiful in anyway. i ended up with a lot more than i had expected, but here they are:





http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/9436950/ Thu, 20 Jul 2006 11:56:21 PDT Mood: ^_^
Listening to: imogen heap- hide and seek
Watching: last exile

whew... so i just woke up from a fourteen hour nap. what a vacation i just had.... ^_^

me and my wonderful darling parter in crime took a trip to minneapolis to visit her bestest friend of all time, :devlillaby-child:.

we had lots of fun, and went to a zoo, and visited the mall, and went on a roller coaster, and watched funny anime, and drew lots of pictures together, which was an honor.

and i got to eat, lots, and lots, and LOTS of food while i was there. we went to the oloive garden, the night before we left, which i had never been too, and i ate more there than i ever have ever... it was good fun... then we stayed up all night and watched anime while finishing the drawing we made together!!! it was so much fun working together, and a great honor to be in the presence of such wonderful people for a whopping five days!!!

i will be greatful fo a long time for the time we got to spend with eachother, and i look foreward with great anticipation to the next time our paths will cross!! ^_^

]]> *ember-reed http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/9163081/ http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/9163081/ Fri, 23 Jun 2006 20:03:30 PDT Mood: ^_^
Listening to: imogen heap- hide and seek
Watching: last exile

RULES: List 10 things about your art and post it in your journal. Then pick a few deviants who must do this!

ready GO!

1. even though most of my artwork is in colored pencil, i tend to only submit colored linart done my pc!
2. i only dubmit the top of my work. out of hundreds of drawings i've made over the years, i refuse to submit anything that is not finished by my standards.
3. my best trait is as a colored pencil artist, but i haven't used them in almost three years since my last piece. not finishing it was a heavy blw on my confidence as an artist. i have been focusing more on music and storytelling ever since!
4. most of my recent works are inspired by my endeavors to illustrate characters and events pertaining to the story i am now working on
5. i do all my best work between 3 and 6 am.
6. i usually make the most progress in my sketches when i'm at school and suposed to be paying attention!
7. when i am completely finished with a piece, i will stare at it for atleast fifteen minutes, and congradulate myself for a job well done, and a product well earned.
8. i'm very good at drawing from life, but haven't submitted any of my portraits. i rather remain a mystery.
9. my first inspiration to draw came from trying to illustrate the things i would build out of lego's. (i'm much better with lego's than i am with a blank sheet of paper)
10. i love drawing machines more than anything. it's one thing i've allways had confidence in!

tags *artistmonk and *darknekochan

tag #2

ready GO!

The rules are:
1. Answer every question, unless you have a legitimate excuse not to. (Such as, "I could answer this question, but then I'd have to kill you with my mad ninja skillz.")
2. Add your own question to the bottom of the survey when you pass it on.
3. You don't have to tag anyone, but it sure would be nifty if you did.

And here are the questions:

- What are your three biggest sources of inspiration (artistic or otherwise)?

A: my first really big inspiration was a movie called fifth element. after seeing it for the first time, i was compelled ever since to make stories. i suppose my second would be an anime called angelic layer, which was the first anime i watched in japanese. the story line opened my mind to a new dimension of freedom. i suppose my greatest source of inspiration would be music. especially choral music. i've written my most beautiful scenes to the heartbreaking arrangements of great composers.

- What's your favourite kind of cheese?

A: mozzerella

- What's the most terrifying dream you ever had?

A: see "dream" journal entry!

- If you could go back to any one time in your life and stay there indefinitely, what time would you choose to go back to? Or, if you could pick any age and stay that age indefinitely, how old would you want to be?

A: i think 19. i liked being nineteen.

- Did you ever have an embarrassing crush on a celebrity or a fictional character? Care to explain?

A: KOS MOS... no explanaition needed!

- What's your least favourite word?

A: snot

- For that matter, what's your favourite word? (Okay, your five most favouritest words.)

A: light, eternal, winter, ember, myst

- If you could be any kind of plant or animal other than a human, what would you want to be?

A: humming bird

- What's the title of the last book you read?

A: i hate reading. the last book i tried to read was harry potter. and then i though: screw it, i'll watch the movie!

- What were you doing yesterday afternoon at 4:00?

A: i'm happy to say, i was sleeping!

- List five things you find excruciatingly annoying.

A: lets see here: poison ivy, carpenter bees, poke weed, sunburn, and black flies! (i'm outside alot)

- What did you have for breakfast today?

A: chocolate chip pancakes! ^_^

new question: do you like cats: y/n

^_^ finish!

tags *adanac

]]> *ember-reed http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/9067282/ http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/9067282/ Wed, 14 Jun 2006 13:41:54 PDT Mood: ^_^
Listening to: nectarios- pheonix
Watching: end of evangelion

i got tagged! ^_^

i'm allways happy when this happens!!!

ready go!


RULES:

1. MUST (!!) answer EVERY SINGLE question.
2. Be HONEST.
3. Pass onto 6 of your DA friends. ^^
4. Have fun and let us grow together as a community ^^

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey

Name: E. Reed
Birthday: August 6th
Birthplace: Montreal
Current Location: 75 ft. above sea level
Eye Color: dark brown
Hair Color: dark... not black, dark!
Height: 5' 11"
Right Handed or Left Handed: right for writing, left for sports, both for everything else
Your Heritage: uh... i think i'm like irish, french, spanish, native american, polish, english, russian........ yeah, i have no idea!

The Shoes You Wore Today: wonderful brown slip on clogs. they're supposed to be hiking shoes, but definitely clogs!
Your Weakness: i have no idea whats going on around me at any given time... which is to say, i have A.D.D. but the super kind...
Your Fears: hurting others.... oh yeah, and crickets! i love all other insects, but crickets freak me out!
Your Perfect Pizza: buffalo chicken.
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: boooooooorring
Your Bedtime: uh... when i get tired i guess

Pepsi or Coke: what a dumb question. obviously pepsi
McDonalds or Burger King: also a dumb question... subway!
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: um.. i don't uh, i can't... what?
Chocolate or Vanilla: wtf... CHOCOLATE who picks vanilla over chocolate. i mean really?
Cappuccino or Coffee: they both suck so much... guess i'd have to say, ice cream

Do you Smoke: ha. no!
Do you Swear: wow.. um. yeah
Do you Sing: YES
Do you Shower Daily: NO
Have you Been in Love: ^_^
Do you want to go to College: i think so, yeah!
Do you want to get Married: eventually...
Do you believe in yourself: only on tuesdays and thursdays.
Do you get Motion Sickness: sometimes
Are you a Health Freak: ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...... aaaaaaaahhh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!
Do you like Thunderstorms: absolutely.
Do you play an Instrument: uh... all of em, i think

In the past month have you Drunk Alcohol: yes
In the past month have you Smoked: No.
In the past month have you been on Drugs: is antifreeze a drug?
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: i think, maybe... wait, yeah.
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: is there a limit to how many times i can answer this question?
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: yes... delicious!
In the past month have you been on Stage: yup... i love singing!
In the past month have you been dumped: nope! i'm too cool for school... i mean; to be dumped
Do you work (as in official work): i had two jobs. now i landscape and write novels!

In a girl/boy---
Favorite Eye Color: *
Favorite Hair Color: *
Short or Long Hair: *
Height: *
Weight: *
Best Clothing Style: *

* not interested!

Number of Drugs I have taken: i had morphine once when i broke my arm cause the ambulance people forgot to take my hockey stick from me and i was delirious and they tried to give me a needle and i hate needles so i fended away the nureses with the hocky stick and so the hospital sent in these big guys to take my stick and hold me down even tho my arm was broken and they gave me the needle and put morphine in it and then it was ok.... does that count?
Number of CDs I own: well, i have like three cd's i listen to, but about 200 that i use as coasters.
Number of Piercing: i pierced my foot with a stick once, but it was an accident. other than that, none!
Number of Tattoos: 0
Number of things in my Past I Regret: you want a number? um... i think like 3... i think!

And now you know lots more about me than you ever wanted to know, I bet.

]]> *ember-reed http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/8769867/ http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/8769867/ Sun, 14 May 2006 15:09:41 PDT Mood: ^_^
Listening to: nectarios- pheonix
Watching: eureka seven

i found a spider in my ship today... a long time ago, i think like 5 years ago now, i tried to build an aircraft carrier out of legos. i didn't have enough to finish, so instead i ended up building a funny looking hovercraft thing...

i was never pleased with how it came out, so i've been modifying it ever scince. through it's many evoloutions as a craft, it eventually became the starship it is today, at almost 3ft long, and containing nearly my entire lego collection.

even though it's not really good for anything, i've allways been proud of myself for building it. it has so many different gizmo's on it, like a retractible radar dish and cargo crane, and this really spiffy drop bay in the back that can pick up little tanks i made to go with it...

i might take some pictures and submit them later.

i don't know why i suddenly felt like mentioning it, i was just looking at it and saw that a little spider had begun to make his home inside of the engineering deck. i thought it was really cute. i want to let him stay, but i might have to get him out if i want to still be able to move it.

i'm kinda happy ^_^

]]> *ember-reed http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/8721925/ http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/8721925/ Tue, 09 May 2006 15:06:02 PDT Mood: eeeeeee
Listening to: conjure one - pilgramage
Watching: flcl

Four Jobs I've had-
1. landscaping
2. tatoo designer
3. line cook
4. pizza delivery

Four Movies that I could watch over and over-
1. hero
2. gladiator
3. moulin rouge
4. FF spirit within

Four Places I've lived-
1. montreal
2. downingtown
3. glenmoore
4. chester springs

Four Tv shows I love-
1. flcl
2. angelic layer
3. haibane renmei
4. last exile

Four Places I've been on holiday-
1. disney world
2. la ronde
3. obx
4. lac baron

Four web sites I visit lots-
1. Deviantart
2. google
3. myway
4. ...(i f**king hate internet)

Four favourite foods-
1. chicken tikka masala
2. sushi
3. stuffed portabella mushrooms
4. salsa

Four Places I'd rather be-
1. sleeping
2. sleeping
3. sleeping
4. sleeping

Four people I tag-
1. canadians
2. me
3.
4. anyone who watches me! ^_^

]]> *ember-reed http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/8617684/ http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/8617684/ Sat, 29 Apr 2006 03:32:31 PDT Mood: exhausted
Listening to: imogen heap- can't take it in
Watching: howl's moving castle

i've been awake now for a whopping 30 hrs now.... i've had two jobs and school to keep up with all week, two tests, and writing, all while trying to finish a picture for 's contest. needless to say, i am tired beyond tired, and i'm gonna go to sleep. i really REALLY hope that i'm not too late for the contest. i wanted to get it done last friday, but i just really suck at coloring on the pc lately. not to mention i think i might have been tackling a bit to much for my current skill level.

while my first attempt at a background may have been over the top, drawing a circular stained glass window with nothing more than a mouse and ms paint to work with turned out to be a lot more strenuous on my mind than i had origionally intended. the keltic knot work was tough too, but that window was so freaking big....

either way, i think i'm gonna stick with simple stuff for a while till i start taking art classes again. maybe next semester.... 6_9

and now for a long and well earned nap for the rest of today. till i have to go to work any way....
*cries*

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

]]> *ember-reed http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/8560552/ http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/8560552/ Sun, 23 Apr 2006 12:04:56 PDT Mood: pissed off
Listening to: imogen heap- can't take it in
Watching: howl's moving castle

aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh

i went to sign up for a yahoo messenger account and someone had allready taken the nane ember_reed. THAT"S MY NAME!!!!! whoever stole it is gona die when i find out who it is. raaaaaaaahghsghrd ghvbkljjhlkkf;dlj'ghjk[dfhjl;gkfjvklghj;klsjldfmljhgjkl;'//.

ps, if you don't have trillian, GET IT NOW!

[link]

]]> *ember-reed http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/8242163/ http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/8242163/ Thu, 23 Mar 2006 01:23:26 PST Mood: upset
Listening to: delgados- the light before we land

art hates me, so i won't have any new drawings to share for a while. -_- sorry every one....

in the meantime, i'll be writing. if i'm brave, i'll share my first few chapters with you, but don't expect much.

]]> *ember-reed http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/7948811/ http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/7948811/ Mon, 20 Feb 2006 01:33:30 PST Mood: sleepy
Listening to: Garasu no Yume
Watching: twelve kingdoms

ok, i got a little less than half of what i wanted to do finished. seems i was more set on wasting my time than i had origionally anticipated. i still have about five or six more pics i have to edit and resubmit, and another four or so i havent finished at all, but i'm almost there! -_-

ugh. i'm going to sleep now! =_=

*ps, can anyone tell me how to put images and such in my journall. i see people do that all the time and i think it's really spiffy!

]]> *ember-reed http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/7906071/ http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/7906071/ Wed, 15 Feb 2006 12:00:44 PST Mood: frantic
Listening to: hyrule symphony- hyrule fields
Watching: angelic layer

ok, this is a warning ahead of time so that you guys don't freak out when you suddenly have like 25 new deviations!

i have recently come across the realization that many of my works here at DA are under the wrong category!!!!

with that in mind, (and also cause i have a paint shop program now) i intend to edit and resubmit pretty mych all of my deviations! i figured i would say something ahead of time. that means all of peoples coments will be deleted and such, unfortunately.

while it would be nice for you all to comment again, i will certainly not requst it. i'd feel better starting again on a clean slate.

also, after editing, i plan on putting my name design, and signature on everything i've done!

so just so everyone knows.

i have a five day weekend coming up, and at it's conclusion, i hope to have resubmitted everything and hopefully have a finished piece for 's contest thing! ^_^

thanks for listening, and to all who watch me, thankyou so much for the attention and support! you rule!!!!

]]> *ember-reed http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/7378073/ http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/7378073/ Wed, 21 Dec 2005 23:31:45 PST
where to begin..

i suppose i should start from where it matters, as most of the dream was of me in my house doing basically nothing.

any way

i'm standing outside my house. it is night time and kind of gloomy. the sky is clear for the most part but the stars are darkened for some reason. it's cold outside, but warm at the same time, and the ground is moist, like it is late fall or early spring. the atmosphere is somehow soothing but for reasons unknown.

i am standing in the front, looking at my street. it is late at night but for whatever reason, i can see things very clearly. then i am next to my house facing the backyard. a tree line that is normally there is gone, but i still sense it as though it were invisible. past my backyard, through the tree's i am looking at the horizon. the moon hovers over it like the sun setting on a tropical beach. it is larger than i have ever seen it before.

a strange feeling comes over me. i can feel it like a shadow coming up from the ground and pouring over my chest, like this should make me sad. but i don't know why. then, i can hear a song. in my head at first, at least i think, but then clearer, like it was being played in the distance. the tune of a symphony orchestra, i can hear with my soul. i can't make out the notes, but i feel the melody in my heart. a powerful, but taming melody, that drifts in and out of me.

though the song is long, i hear the whole thing like it happened inside of a second. as i hear the song, i feel the hearts of those who play it off in the distant horizon under the moon. as my perception of their origion becomes clear, i start to see great white spotlights, flashing up at the sky. not suddenly, but as though they had allready been there, and i was just noticing. as the orchestra in the distance holds thier last solemn note, i notice something that terrifies me. the lights in the distance are reflecting upon the face of the moon. i now notice how big it has become, taking up most fo the horizon.

when the music finishes, there is a silence afterwards. only for two seconds, i hear in the distance, the rotors of helicopters. i connot hear it, but i feel the sadness and fear, and helplessness of the thousands of people under the moon. only two seconds of silence and then the most terrifying sight i will ever see.

the moon strikes the earth. though far, it is still close. i see it before i hear it, a force i can't comprehend. the sight most haunting, but nothing compared to the sound that followed it. a crashing that will haunt me for the rest of my life. i cannot describe the sound it made. so loud and frightening. i am knocked to the ground in terror. i am shaking. all i can think of is the people under the moon, and the song they played.


this dream was so frighteningly realistic. i felt really sad the morning after. there was more afterwards, but it gets harder to describe. anyway. just thought i might share it. atleast i can now get it off my mind for a while.

if anyone thinks they can tell me what this means, i'd be glad to hear it.

]]> *ember-reed http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/7277679/ http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/7277679/ Sat, 10 Dec 2005 21:18:58 PST i've never done anything like this and i certainly do not wish to disappoint. although my first assignment seemed simple at first, it seems i really suck at drawing simple environments like classrooms. i'm totally stoked about a few of the other backgrounds i'll be doing, but doing these simple ones kinda got me stumped.
i think i'll end up doing these ones with the compy on ms paint. that way i can keep it looking really sharp. i did a few good sketches of what i think i will do, i just hope that the angles and such are ok.

in other news, me and my friend jeff have decided to blow up the shop belonging to the guy who is supposed to fix my jeep. i got it back last week, drove it for thirty minutes, and the clutch stopped working. they came to my girlfriends house where i was stranded and picked it up. i get it back this friday night, all fixed up and ready to go, drive it for ten minutes, and the transmission starts making all kinds of funny noises.
i'm gonna kill this guy if he charges me again to fix the damn thing. evry time i get it back, something else goes wrong. i really need my car in order to have a life. i will have to drive even more when school starts this january, and if i find that this is his fault, i'm gonna make sure he PROVIDES me with transportation needed for my education. it's simply unfair that i've been left helpless in this manner.
What sucks even more is that now there is snow on the ground. SNOW!!!! i should be driving in it, doing three sixties, and four wheeling my way through four foot snow drifts. instead, i am mournfully glaring at my poor vehicle, motionless in the driveway. i demand justice.
i have put so much money into getting that car back on her feet and every time she just falls back down again. it's tragic is what it is.

*sigh* i guess there is nothing that can be done. oh well. if i can't go outside and play in the snow with my car, or take it out to go hiking, i'll just have to shut myself indoors and work on backgrounds. *tear*

(not that i don't love working on them, but driving over snow drifts is far more entertaining)

]]> *ember-reed http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/7208004/ http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/7208004/ Fri, 02 Dec 2005 22:37:31 PST
200+ PAGEVIEWS ! ! !

just like that, i'm back in a good mood. i started a prject that will take up some time. hope to be done soon. should finishe sometime next week, but if not, i expect to be pestered. i can't be held accountable for not doing anything if no one is going to motivate me.

in other news, i'm gonna try to complete up to chapter three in my outline so i can get back to my getting published. he he. that will get some attention i think. i've just about sumed up all the charactors, their appearances, backgrounds, and roles in the story.

i have yet to draw a good design for my charactor axel tho. i'm really not good at figures, but i'm even worse at drawing bulky figures. axel, my "mystery charactor" (as i have yet to really design him) is huge. very built and very strong. a tribal african and loyal friend to keien.

he fights with a warhammer which is another thing i just can't seem to get right. either way, i kinda know what i want him to look like, just can't get it right just yet. so i've kinda stopped progress in my project to have all six angel charactors lined up against a cathedral background. but i have other things to draw my attention now. no big deal. ^_^

anyway. till next time... ^_^

]]> *ember-reed http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/7149173/ http://ember-reed.deviantart.com/journal/7149173/ Sat, 26 Nov 2005 12:29:12 PST
i'm looking at 200 hundred pageviews soon so i shouldn't be too discouraged. i guess it just takes time to become popular. '_'

in other news, i'm super frustrated with drawing lately. i'm working on christmas gifts and having a really hard time. i hope i can get over it cause i have some really good idea's. i just can't draw right lately. i don't imagine it's realated to my recent low self esteem, but the two factors are really bringing me down. "_"

anyway, i guess i should stop whining. it won't help me any. i'm gonna go back to trying to draw. i usually get it right on the twentieth try.

also, i'm trying to find a song that i had on a cd a really long time ago. the cd was lost and i can't find it anymore. it was the cowboy beebop soundtrack that my friend burned, but i think he got the tracks wrong. anyway, there was a song on there that i am now incapable of finding anywhere else and its also making me sad cause it was by far one of the most beautiful songs i had ever heard.

all in all, i've had a depressing few days and could really use a hug. *_*

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