http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:emoxjello&section=today deviantART RSS for by:emoxjello en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Sun, 06 Dec 2009 23:27:12 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/27750931/ http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/27750931/ Tue, 13 Oct 2009 18:36:43 PDT I honestly thought I was going to explode- I couldn't take another second of his begrudging superiority. Fucking prophets, no wonder why everyone beats his ugly mug to a pulp day to day. "but then the riddle would be rendered lifeless, y'know?"
Why can't someone render you lifeless?
Obviously, I was little bit bitter... the cunt had a reason to be my sovereign, as Atrocious said- I was just his bodyguard. "Just picture it for a moment, Eros... the question is flying free, between you and me, back and forth and around, and you are selfish enough to trap it into that tiny cage we humans call the brain. You, of all people are asking me to clip this little ditty's wings!" his expression betrayed the riot building up behind his eyes. "Your cruelty surpasses even my own comprehension. Just think for a moment, utilize all of your precious schemas, my darling. DO YOU really want all the magic in the world to dwindle and die, to render it all explicable and scientific?"
By this point, his words had become nonsense to my ears. I was tired and angry for being subjected to his rants, all meaningless banter.
"Yes, I do," I didn't care. At this point, I simply wanted to spite the bitch- make him writhe and moan... but I never held such power over him. On the contrary, he had me wrapped around his finger, a victim to his every wish.
"You selfish bastard, just go to sleep."
"So I can take you somewhere far away?"
"Oh baby, will you take me to the sky tonight?" he purred.
I blinked... not this again. Oh lord. "I wanna traverse the 'midnight meat train' for an hour or two before it pulls out of the station."
"Get the fuck out, now!"

He did leave eventually. I'd rather not talk about what I had to do though. I'm going to bed now if anything, just to see where I'll end up in the morning.

]]> ~emoxjello http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/27721813/ http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/27721813/ Mon, 12 Oct 2009 08:47:56 PDT In any case, on this certain lazy June day, I rode my bike with determination down the road. No one bothered to pay attention to a stupid nondescript kid. Well at the moment I was completely unnoticeable, however by this afternoon I knew that when I returned to this street the reaction would hopefully be outrage, distress, and disappointment.

-----------------------

This has decided that my story will be in 'I' format.
Now I need to figure if this is Ashtray or Eraser speaking... they intertwine so often.

]]> ~emoxjello http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/27434481/ http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/27434481/ Sat, 26 Sep 2009 18:27:43 PDT
Not particularly conveniently placed in the time period.

just keep breathing...

]]> ~emoxjello http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/27253415/ http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/27253415/ Wed, 16 Sep 2009 20:55:05 PDT
I’m not sure what to do. If I’m asked to describe myself… strange and bizarre words are my initial thoughts. To be conventional and not scare the questioner off… I state ‘artist’. I like to carry that title and apply it to all of the aspects of my life. Breaking grammar, challenging painting techniques, and burdening music with sharps and flats are a few techniques I carry in my arsenal. When I write, I listen to the sounds of the words, the rhythm and syncopation of each sentence. This will probably screw me over in college if I don’t manage to sneak myself into a liberal arts school, right? But that’s beside the point. How do I write bluntly, harshly, nubbed, and precise? I use passive voice freely, it makes language flow. My wordiness is the color on the canvas. Be patient with me, until I learn a better way to write my words in a way that sounds carved on cement… or maybe you could teach me how to shed my artistry. Maybe lend me an alarm clock to wake me from my dreamy language? I’d be much grateful. I want an A in your class…


Sincerely,
Vanessa G.

]]> ~emoxjello http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/26283388/ http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/26283388/ Thu, 30 Jul 2009 18:57:24 PDT I get this strange feeling that I know everything sometimes... well everything that matters that is. No, not genius style like what the capital of 'x' state is and whatnot... but something different.

It's not like I've heard it before, I just know; and I feel like a douchebag when I laugh or smile at people who are trying to tell me something philosophical that they've spent a lifetime turning over in their minds. It's really insensitive of me to find their struggle funny and vain, but I honestly do.

"Yes, I know." I'm sorry if that's all I have to say.
I'm sorry if I choose to laugh at your struggle that day. It's just that, the world is getting hung up on things that don't matter, and once it discovers that it doesn't matter all I can do is laugh- since that's what I've known and said all along.

And then I begin to feel like... what idiot am I? Young splendid dude... funny thoughts in his head- all new and unkempt to say to the world: I know what's best for you?

Who am I to give the world adivce on subjects i've never experienced? I guess... it's just because they're silly.

-rereads- Fucking hell. When I try to explain myself in writing, it gets all poetic... and I hate poetry because it makes no sense at all to me. Fuck me.

"If you give people everything they want they don't learn the meaning of value."
Yes, I know. you're silly for saying that... so definitive and so very incorrect. All I can say is you're a moron and a cute one at that. -smile-
I'm gonna go stick my head in a blender now. I scare meself. Should I click submit?

]]> ~emoxjello http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/25967787/ http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/25967787/ Wed, 15 Jul 2009 16:00:52 PDT Erm. I also got a 4 in Biology, which I totally was not expecting, because I skipped an entire secetion of the essay. And I also got an unexpected but rather shiny and beautiful 5 on English Literature. Which is great! It acts as an ego boost- my writing isn't crap! -squee-
lol I also got a sunflower and I'm a bit paranoid that my chickens will eat it. Grr...
I also ordered a filter for my fishies... and I wanna buy some ghost shrimp for them to play with. xD
I'm obsessed with my phish. Oh well. I'm a loser. I know.

]]> ~emoxjello http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/25730456/ http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/25730456/ Sat, 04 Jul 2009 07:50:28 PDT
oh beguile

]]> ~emoxjello http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/25468774/ http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/25468774/ Mon, 22 Jun 2009 08:08:59 PDT It makes ignoring people so much easier. lol I'm just kidding! xP

But really I need a break from home and city... I'm in need of softcuddle luxury in the hands of very rich friends. lol I'm more nervous than happy about that. But ferserials- It's a go time

]]> ~emoxjello http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/24666923/ http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/24666923/ Sat, 09 May 2009 10:30:53 PDT
I just finally fucking realized what a idiot I am.
;.;
I murdered one of my loves. Oh lord.

]]> ~emoxjello http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/24608949/ http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/24608949/ Tue, 05 May 2009 20:15:57 PDT I know something everyone else doesn't.
The ultimate secret if you will. <3


But I'm so disenchanted. I would cry, but that is reserved for pain.

]]> ~emoxjello http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/24186693/ http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/24186693/ Sat, 11 Apr 2009 17:22:10 PDT I got another fish. His name is Maged. I'm addicted and SHUT THE FUCK UP! love you.

I hate art and everything creative right now.
And I'm in love with the direct and solid. -sleeps on ground-

My pokemon team is going to be beastly -nerd mode-


-mindless zombie romp-

-heartless rampage-

]]> ~emoxjello http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/23855834/ http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/23855834/ Mon, 23 Mar 2009 19:12:24 PDT

Alors, je suis perdu et vraiment joieuse... seulement parce-que je suis une petite femme: tout stupide et dangereuse.

Mes pensements- ils me tuer quelque jour... et peut-etre ca etre la raison.

I need an ashtray.

]]> ~emoxjello http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/23470202/ http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/23470202/ Sun, 01 Mar 2009 12:46:22 PST Stop it.

]]> ~emoxjello http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/23390552/ http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/23390552/ Tue, 24 Feb 2009 21:40:57 PST WHAT IN HOLY HELL!
Ferseriously I've gotz liek 6 papercuts on my fingers. WHAT THE STUPID MF?!

It hurts. My hand hurts. This blows. Why does paper hate me?

]]> ~emoxjello http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/23351983/ http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/23351983/ Sun, 22 Feb 2009 20:07:43 PST
The truth is, no matter how cryptic I try to be, it all boils down to one thing: I'm a ridiculously happy person.

And in time it begins to bother me. Especially when I'm being hit with tragedy after tragedy and that happiness doesn't waver. I feel sick.
I wouldn't call my raging fits of depression sadness... it's something else entirely that has no name. And this is something even stranger.
Death doesn't affect me like most people, it sort of lingers like a foul air and leaves me disoriented. It might be the desperation of those around me... or maybe I'm just confused by the topic so much my mind can't register it. I have no idea. But it's extremely frustrating.

My family seriously needs a sip from the fountain of life.

]]> ~emoxjello http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/22850010/ http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/22850010/ Tue, 27 Jan 2009 18:26:43 PST
Less than 20=Seme
More than 20=Uke

01-[ ] You like to be content in everything.
((I don't mind being uncomfortable))
02-[x] When a person confesses his/her love to you and you don’t like him/her, you start feeling very tense and/or you don’t know what to say.
((shiiiiit))

03-[x] You enjoy listening to smooth and relaxing music.
04-[x] You are quite hyperactive.
05-[ ] If you don’t like something, you start crying and you don’t care if you start talking too loud.
((What the shit?))

06-[x] You love candies or any type of caramel.
07-[x] You like making others blush.
08-[ ] You sleep with a doll/ teddy bear/ pillow in your hand.
09-[ ]Yu’re usually shy with the opposite sex.
((-goes for a penis grab))
10-[x ]You like romantic- funny anime.
((Geez... gimme a break))
11-[? ]Between L or Light cosplay, you prefer L.
((I like boooooth! ^^))
12-[x] You have listened to “an café”.
13-[x ] You like listening to it (the above band).
14-[x] You have 1 or 2 song on your computer of “an café”.
((NYAPPY AROUND THE WORLD! xD I don't even know what the shit that means...
geez... I've seen them in concert and I bought their CD... -fail- ))
15-[?] You are innocent and a little clumsy.
((Clumsy yes... innocent definitely no))

16-[x] You smile at kitties.
((-glares at you-))
17-[ ] You usually say –kawaii-.
18-[x] You like plushies.
19-[ ] Between light blue and blue, you prefer light blue.
20-[ ] You hate Paris Hilton because she is an idiot.
((It's a waste of time/emotion/energy to bother hating an idiot))
21-[x] You have been lost in a shopping center/parking/cinema.
22-[ ] You have called to the mistaken number twice or more.
23-[ ] You cried with Pocahontas' ending.
((I cried when Kokuom died. ))
24-[x] You have used a very feminine dress or shirt.
((I'm a girl! What do you expect from me?!))

25-[x] You call your pets with cute names.
26-[x] You believe that yaoi/yuri is the best.
27-[ ] You're easy to trick/convince.
28-[?] Some men scare you.
((Only creepy looking men... or creepy women... or just people who act people in general))
29-[x] You have seen Pucca and you like it.
((YES!))
30-[ ] You have pink/red clothes or they are decorated with flowers.
31-[x] Sometimes you start looking at the clouds and you get lost in space.
32-[ ] You’ve said “Kyao” or something like that before.
33-[ ] When a person of your same sex gets angry with you, you’re at the defensive.
((What?))
34-[ ] You like j-pop.
((Rock plz... kthnxbai))
35-[x] You have cried for more than one movie/TV series.
((All my fave characters die, kay? Gimme a break!))
36-[?] You watched gravitation and you felt like Shuichi-you watched strawberry panic and you felt like Nagisa.
((I've watched Gravi but I /never/ feel like Shu-chan))

37-[ ] You smile with no reason.
38-[ ] You usually are very positive.
((I'm not negative either though...))
39-[x] When there’s a rainbow, you run out to see it.
((I usually chase after it too... find the end. whee!))
40-[ ] You usually don’t understand what your parents say.

Final Countdown: 18 ((without ?'s... since I don't feel they fully count.))

Lol I thought so... stupid AnCafe is what fucked me over. grawr

]]> ~emoxjello http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/22661151/ http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/22661151/ Sun, 18 Jan 2009 20:03:43 PST But my trip to the Academy of Sciences reaffirmed my beliefs that time doesn't exist. ^.^

Another thing I wonder is if existence should also be accepted as fact.
Then consciousnesses.

Mara, I wrote while I was asleep... I imagine just the same as you text the world your dreams.
I wrote what was on my mind while I was unconscious and let me peer into my conscience.

It was filled with cryptic words. I wrote 'ASHTRAY' on the top of the sheet and had managed to write one sentence before I fell asleep.

The rest... goes as such:
The Martyr's Son: Ashtray

I often wonder about black holes... Asking questions to myself like: "Who's idiot God put them there?
Or other times it could be a question more like: Should I take a peek and cry out to survivors?
Then again I can't help but wonder which complex mathematical formula allows for black holes to live/exist/thrive.

Either way, I'd personally call them beautiful- thought I've never seen a black hole in person. But in theory, who could describe wonderment as hideous? Discovery is lovely and adventure is her equally beautiful lover.
Another anomaly would be aquatic creatures. So many splendid microbes and even greater creatures. It's impossible to give each one a name, but it's also impossible to forget them.

Small inscriptions, yet large incisions is the way the world is run nowadays. There's no room for the humble, just apartment space for the beloved and mansions for the intelligent. As I'm neither, I'll mooch off the church since God told them that it was right to pay me money. I'd prefer to stay as poor as possible since God promised me that the poor would inherit the earth.

Personally, I'm proud to say that I've got serious plans for that day. I want to make God rue the day that he decided that it would be okay. Even I didn't think the big man could ever be so naive- so ignorant. Well, either way it's up to us now- we inherited the bible. Now it's up to us to increase it's insanity for whom was assigned the ending. we weren't born with stopwatches to could down our day, so now is the ear to finish immortalizing our lives through scriptural graffiti."


HUH?! What the shit? What kind of drugs was I tripping on. LMAO
Peace out! Space Cowboy...

]]> ~emoxjello http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/22402568/ http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/22402568/ Sun, 04 Jan 2009 19:48:47 PST
During the ride I had nothing better to do in the car so I actually started working on my story with the working title of: The Martyr's Son

It's basically a cracked-out revamped Alice In Wonderland only not really...

Let me start out by saying that so far in my life I haven't done any hard drugs and am not in the influence of /anything/ while writing... But I am slightly insane so that my explain a few things.

Basically... the world suddenly went insane one day. The only survivor to remain normal doesn't know his name (he's a survivor because he managed to escape relatively normal). Everyone knows the world has changed but they don't really know how to change back/they don't know why they don't bother to change it back. The new world is known as "The Change" or "The World".

Now I'm gonna write down allllll the characters I invented so I don't forget them. They're more or less in the order of importance to the story:


1. "no name" (A.K.A Eraser/Racer/Razor/Era/Eros)
- He's the main character. He's in his late 20s, but doesn't exactly remember his name. He doesn't have amnesia... he remembers lots of things from the days before The Change, but oddly he can't remember the /vital/ things he /should/ know.
- Ashtray (see character below) nicknamed him Eraser and then the name changes kept rolling on from there. He'd rather people call him Joe or at least John but the people in The World can't pronounce those names.
- He's the sacrifice, or the martyr.
- He's also got 'narcolepsy', not your typical real world narcolepsy but rather in The World its a condition where you fall asleep and awake in a new place/start over... kinda like a video game with no save option. This kinda /really/ complicates escape from The World.

2. Ashtray (Secondary character, the showstealer (like Mercutio in Romeo and Juliet))
- He's the /true/ prophet and is also Eraser's 'best friend'. They have an awkward relationship since Eraser hates Ashtray. They also kind of have an awkward attraction/lover relationship in there too... >.>
- He got his name since people use him as an ashtray... literally...
- Even though he's often subjected to violence everyone loves him. He's beloved and renowned across The World
- Ashtray has a similar condition to Eraser's narcolepsy... but it's a bit opposite.

YAOI -cough-

3. Atrocious (A.K.A O, she's the wisewoman of the story)
- She's got the answers and gives the best advice.
- She's also Eraser's true love interest that will never /ever/ happen.
- O is strange but even stranger by The World standards. She speaks with odd phrases and often curious facts like the prophets.

4. Eclipse (random character who buddies up with Ashtray and Eraser)
- He's O's little brother and has also got /severe/ epilepsy
- He's going to serve as my Deus Ex Machina when I need it because in The World he has the crazyass sweet hookups

5. Gunnzalez (the hotchick)
- She's the ho who sometimes comes before the bros and consequently fucks things up for my main characters
- She isn't a bad person, but shit follows her around like gum stuck to her heel

6. Bong (crazy guy who helps my main characters)
- He owns a hookah shop... despite the fact that people call him Bong.
- He's slightly retarded but is also extremely helpful.

7. Script (another random character who serves as comedy relief at times)
- As his name implies he always writes plays/scripts about the other characters.
- He's a good guy but his father is one of the main evil characters.

8. Terrible/Terri (a character that's up to no good)
- He hangs around with the cops and also snoops in on Script's business.
- His intentions aren't clear, and is actually rather a nuisance if anything

9. Flash and Aero (which are actually two characters that I'm counting as one cause I'm lazy and they're the cops that were mentioned before)
- They're not actually cops... no one's really sure what they do when they ' patrol'
- They pop up randomly and they also play music in a band.
- They're the good evil caracters. xD

10. The Pen Holder (the superbad character)
- He's Script's dad, and obviously passed on his writing talent to his son.
- He's the puppeteer who tortures all of the residents of The World.

False Prophets:

11. Invisible Ink (he's the only intentional false prophet and a baddie)
- Is in cahoots with The Pen Holder, masquerades as Script's friend

12. Duck
- O.C.D freak.
- He chose that name because he strives for perfection and decided one day that ducks were the most perfect of animals

13. Summerthyme (A.K.A Thyme)
- She's me/w... ]]> ~emoxjello http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/22166409/ http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/22166409/ Wed, 24 Dec 2008 12:45:52 PST
--------------

Interesting sex meme eh? I'mma do it. 'Cept I wanna go play final fantasy. So I'll do it later I swears!

O.C Sex Meme:
RUELZ!:
1. Pic an O.C or moar... for extra fun. xD
2. Fill out the questions plz.
3. BE HONEST NAO! >[
4. TAG THE WORLD!

1. Do you prefer rough sex or sensual sex?

2. Have you ever given oral sex? If so, did you like it?

3. Have you ever used sex toys during sex?

4. What is your sexual fantasy?

5. Who gave you the best sex?

6. How long have you gone with only one sexual partner?

7. Where did you do the freakiest sex?

8. Ever done anal sex? If so, did you like it?

9. What was the most uncomfortable/nastiest thing a lover has ever done while having sex?

10. Ever done a three(or more)-some?

11. Biggest turn ON?

12. Biggest turn OFF?

13. Ever had sex in front of someone?

14. Ever had a one-night-stand? If so, how many?

15. Do you have sex in cars?

16. Do you always use protection?

17. Are you a biter?

18. Be honest, are you a freak?

19. Have you been told you're good in bed?

20. Do you like having sex in PUBLIC places?

21. How old were you when you lost your virginity?

22. How many people have you been with, honestly?

23. Would you ever do porn (sex on film)?

24. Ever had sex in your parents room?

25. Ever do anything with the SAME sex?

26. Ever cried during sex?

27. How long was your longest sex episode?

28. How about the shortest?

29. Do you watch your partner while having sex?

30. Are you a licker?

31. Spit or swallow?


BONUS QUESTION!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

32. Have you ever broken in a virgin?

]]> ~emoxjello http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/21907482/ http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/21907482/ Tue, 09 Dec 2008 22:56:24 PST Then I'll have Chad and Brad will be my gay twins and lastly will be Rococo <3 my little anemic royalty.

PEDANTIC : JESUS
ORATORICAL : JOHN F. KENNEDY

True or False?

I created a friend named Ashtray. I would have named one of my sons that but they're not gonna be worthy.
He's the /true/ prophet in my story. And he got his name because everyone uses him as an ashtray. You should see his poor arms ;.;... his face his tummy...

ASHTRAY : CANCER CARL
EPICURUS : SUPERTRAMP

True or False?

Who ever answers correctly will win a prize!!!

In art class we're making music. I only see women in the songs they play and in the songs I chose...
I chose to make a drawing with:
Sunflowers - Everclear
and MGMT - Electric Feel

It's all good fun. Some people don't understand how to paint music but that's okay I can tell they're figuring it out as they go.

BUTTNEKKID LADIES!

]]> ~emoxjello http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/21823546/ http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/21823546/ Thu, 04 Dec 2008 21:37:40 PST 1. tag 10 peeps (not the one who sent it to you!)
2. answer all truthfully
3. take it in public!
4. tell all tagges on their profile that they have been tagged, and link to your journal.

Info
[] I am shorter than 5'4. (Ha! >.> ))
[x] I think I'm ugly sometimes.
[x] I have many scars.
[x] I tan easily.
[x] I wish my hair was a different color.
[] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[] I have a tattoo.
[x] I am self-conscious about my appearance.
[] I have/I've had braces.
[] I wear glasses
[] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free
[x] I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger. ((Ha ha! The lesbian in SF this weekend!))
[x] I have more than 2 piercing.
[] I have piercing in places besides my ears.
[] I have freckles.

Family/Home Life
[] I've sworn at my parents.
[] I've run away from home.
[] I've been kicked out of the house.
[x] My biological parents are together.
[] I have a sibling less than one year old.
[] I want to have kids someday.
[] I've lost a child.((Haha! If I did have a child I probably would))

School/Work
[x] I'm in school.
[] I have a job.
[] I've fallen asleep at work/school.
[x] I almost always do/did my homework.
[] I've missed a week or more of school.
[x] I've been on the Honor Roll within the last 2 years.
[] I failed more than 1 class last year
[] I've stolen something from my job
[] I've been fired

Embarrassment
[x] I've slipped out an "lol" in a spoken conversation.
[x] Disney movies still make me cry.
[] I've peed from laughing.
[] I've snorted while laughing.
[x] I've laughed so hard I've cried.
[x] I've glued my hand to something.((Fucking superglue... bitch asshole motherfucker))
[x] I've had my pants rip in public.

Health
[] I was born with a disease/impairment
[] I've gotten stitches/staples.
[] I've broken a bone.
[] I've had my tonsils removed.
[] I've sat in a doctor’s office/emergency room with a friend.
[] I've had my wisdom teeth removed.((I'm about to... ;.)
[x] I had a serious surgery.
[] I've had chicken pox.
[] I've had measles


Traveling
[x] I've driven over 200 miles in one day
[x] I've been on a plane.
[] I've been to Canada.
[x] I've been to Mexico.((I'm a MexiCAN not a MexiCAN'T))
[] I've been to Niagara Falls.
[x] I've been to Japan. ((<3333 Shinjuku/Harajuku and Kyoto are the best!))
[] I've celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[] I've been to Europe.
[x] I've been to Africa. ((Wooo Egypt!))

Experiences
[x] I've gotten lost in my city.
[x] I've seen a shooting star.
[x] I've wished on a shooting star
[] I've seen a meteor shower.
[] I've gone out in public in my pajamas.
[] I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
[x] I've kicked a guy where it hurts. ((Bwahaha))
[x] I've been to a casino.
[] I've been skydiving.
[] I've gone skinny dipping.
[x] I've played spin the bottle. ((Omggg remember when we were at the Farm you guys?!))
[] I've drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[] I've crashed a car.
[x] I've been skiing.
[x] I've been in a play.
[] I've met someone in person from myspace.
[x] I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.
[] I've seen the Northern lights.
[] I've sat on a roof top at night.
[x] I've played chicken.
[x] I've played a prank on someone
[x] I've ridden in a taxi.
[x] I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[x] I've eaten sushi.
[x] I've been snowboarding.((I PHAIL'D EPICALLY!))

Relationships
[x] I'm single.
[] I'm in a relationship
[] I'm engaged.
[] I'm married.
[] I've gone on a blind date.
[] I've been the dumped more than the dumper.
[] I miss someone right now.
[] I have a fear of abandonment.
[] I've gotten divorced.
[] I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
[x] I've told someone I loved them when I didn't.
[x] I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.
[] I've kept something from a past relationship.
[] I've had a crush on someone of the same sex.
[] I've had a crush on a teacher.
[] I am a cuddler.
[] I've been kissed in the rain.
[x] I've hugged a stranger. ((JESUS!))
[x] I have kissed a stranger.

Honesty/Crime
[x] I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't.
[x] I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't.
[] I've snuck out of my house.
[x] I have lied to my paren... ]]> ~emoxjello http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/21739962/ http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/21739962/ Sat, 29 Nov 2008 22:44:31 PST Hold on to your chickenshitbullshit, snort some cocaine, lick a green fairy, and get ready babe.

]]> ~emoxjello http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/21739648/ http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/21739648/ Sat, 29 Nov 2008 22:17:43 PST
The Warriors
and
Sugar.

Can you diiiiiig it?! LMAO

I say you need to watch both of them in order to live longer. 'Cept be sure to watch Sugar when the 'rents are abo0t cause that may lead to some... -ahem- interesting events. GAY PRAWN!

It was good seeing them though cause they just reiterated my beliefs. Inspired me to not create.

I need to wait it out.

Dir En Grey tomorrow... I'm ready to rock out with my cock out. Dress hella gay and punk. Haha!

]]> ~emoxjello http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/21427237/ http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/21427237/ Mon, 10 Nov 2008 18:52:01 PST
What do you do when your parents give you the permission to do drugs whenever you'd like? Do you take that opportunity and pop as many pills and smoke as many joints while the offer is still fresh? Or do you take the not so high road to sobriety and boring shitty lifeness?

Fuck it, I'm taking the high road. And we're both okay with that.

I think I'm getting weirder... well more estranged... and I'm not sure how I feel about that. But I wanna see the world through different eyes for a day or two.

I'm very passive and I'm also okay with that cause it makes me feel intelligent.
I can't write my history essays and that's definately not okay.

You know what else isn't okay? That guitar hero world tour doesn't come out for about.... another 6 days!!!! -grawrersrsrs-

Having to schedule an appointment to get my wisdom teeth pulled isn't okay either. But Sam will take me on the high road, and my parents say it's okay... so if my school says it isn't at least I'll know what to say.

........why am I writing this? xDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

]]> ~emoxjello http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/21145729/ http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/21145729/ Fri, 24 Oct 2008 19:34:40 PDT
Ha ha! Take that however you want. Lyrics, thought, a warning sign that I'm secretly a murderer.

Wow.... amazing idea. Wow amazing thought. Wow.
What if there were: Revelation Assassins?
If they exist, they would be busy trying to murder this idea.
That's so cool! I'm so awesome. -egggoooootrip-
Ego trips are amazing highs for pervs.

So liek, their jobs are to assassinate ideas... to prevent "ideas are bulletproof".
They'll make your thoughts, bleed, scream, wither and disappear.

All those ancient civilizations that were wiped off the face of the earth. Beautiful.
-----------
okay so i wasn't done typing, but my computer decided to post it. (-glares at the idea assassins-)

I'm floundering. I'm lost. Surprisingly I'm not sad. I'm immune to sorrow. Go ahead, make me sad, I dare you... I'll turn into your worst nightmare.

I'm so not me right now. But I know who I am,so it's not as if I can't find myself/discover myself. I guess my mind/soul has decided to sepearte from itself for a while.

"WITH BARLEY CAKE AND WATER, MY HAPPINESS RIVALS ZEUS!""WITH BARLEY CAKE AND WATER, MY HAPPINESS RIVALS ZEUS!""WITH BARLEY CAKE AND WATER, MY HAPPINESS RIVALS ZEUS!""WITH BARLEY CAKE AND WATER, MY HAPPINESS RIVALS ZEUS!""WITH BARLEY CAKE AND WATER, MY HAPPINESS RIVALS ZEUS!""WITH BARLEY CAKE AND WATER, MY HAPPINESS RIVALS ZEUS!""WITH BARLEY CAKE AND WATER, MY HAPPINESS RIVALS ZEUS!""WITH BARLEY CAKE AND WATER, MY HAPPINESS RIVALS ZEUS!""WITH BARLEY CAKE AND WATER, MY HAPPINESS RIVALS ZEUS!""WITH BARLEY CAKE AND WATER, MY HAPPINESS RIVALS ZEUS!""WITH BARLEY CAKE AND WATER, MY HAPPINESS RIVALS ZEUS!""WITH BARLEY CAKE AND WATER, MY HAPPINESS RIVALS ZEUS!""WITH BARLEY CAKE AND WATER, MY HAPPINESS RIVALS ZEUS!""WITH BARLEY CAKE AND WATER, MY HAPPINESS RIVALS ZEUS!""WITH BARLEY CAKE AND WATER, MY HAPPINESS RIVALS ZEUS!""WITH BARLEY CAKE AND WATER, MY HAPPINESS RIVALS ZEUS!""WITH BARLEY CAKE AND WATER, MY HAPPINESS RIVALS ZEUS!""WITH BARLEY CAKE AND WATER, MY HAPPINESS RIVALS ZEUS!""WITH BARLEY CAKE AND WATER, MY HAPPINESS RIVALS ZEUS!""WITH BARLEY CAKE AND WATER, MY HAPPINESS RIVALS ZEUS!""WITH BARLEY CAKE AND WATER, MY HAPPINESS RIVALS ZEUS!""WITH BARLEY CAKE AND WATER, MY HAPPINESS RIVALS ZEUS!""WITH BARLEY CAKE AND WATER, MY HAPPINESS RIVALS ZEUS!""WITH BARLEY CAKE AND WATER, MY HAPPINESS RIVALS ZEUS!""WITH BARLEY CAKE AND WATER, MY HAPPINESS RIVALS ZEUS!""WITH BARLEY CAKE AND WATER, MY HAPPINESS RIVALS ZEUS!""WITH BARLEY CAKE AND WATER, MY HAPPINESS RIVALS ZEUS!""WITH BARLEY CAKE AND WATER, MY HAPPINESS RIVALS ZEUS!""WITH BARLEY CAKE AND WATER, MY HAPPINESS RIVALS ZEUS!""WITH BARLEY CAKE AND WATER, MY HAPPINESS RIVALS ZEUS!"

]]> ~emoxjello http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/21053063/ http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/21053063/ Sat, 18 Oct 2008 19:49:35 PDT
Wow I can't even start. Liek okay here we go for realz now:

My mind is like a pair of pantyhose. It shreds, and gets stuck on just about everything that juts out at it. It can also be super sexy! ;3
So in this particular case, my mind has been snagged for quite a long time. When I've got nothing to do, the question comes up:
How do I think?
Yes. It's ridiculous to think about thinking... it just gets scary cause liek, after a few minutes of forced thinking, I start to think I'm dead.
Eventually, it might actually kill me/get me killed. How can a creature survive without thinking? I think therefore I am, right?
But how do you know you're thinking...? At least in my case cause I ain't got a clue.
Mara decided I think abstractly, and well I agree cause I don't got no otherwords for it.
I wish sookie was real so she could tell me how I thought... >.<
I don't hear music, sounds, my voice, I don't see pictures, colors, shapes, numbers, I get a: ...................................... -answer-
LMAO!
I told my dad and he tried to help me through it... he told me to picture my mom. Or that I knew who she was when she was mentioned and that counted as thinking.
But liek. When I try to picture something I don't really get an image of what it's supposed to look like. When I write, I don't plan the sentences in my mind. It appears on paper/screen.
I think if I meditate for too long I'll disappear or cease to exist, die. The only thing that kept me in this world was that bell. I think I found nirvana. And it's hidden in my mind, and it appears when I 'think'.

]]> ~emoxjello http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/20858150/ http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/20858150/ Mon, 06 Oct 2008 13:09:06 PDT
So stop your bitching.

]]> ~emoxjello http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/20599244/ http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/20599244/ Sun, 21 Sep 2008 09:56:19 PDT
]]> ~emoxjello http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/20513242/ http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/20513242/ Mon, 15 Sep 2008 20:39:26 PDT
LIKE I JUST HAVE TO FUCKING YELL IT TO THE WORLD!!!!

BEST MOTHERFUCKING BAND ALIVE!!!
I JUST CAN'T WHEN I LISTEN TO THEM... I CAN'T FUNCTION AND I CAN'T THINK IN THE MOST AMAZING WAYS...


FUCKING HELL... VILLE'S VOICE IS JUST A PLEASURABLE ORGASM!!!!
LINDE'S GUITAR IS BEASTLY AND SEXY AS FUCK!!!!
MIGE'S BASS IS THE GROWLING OF A STEALTHY LEOPARD AND I WANT IT TO EAT ME!!!!!!!!
BURTON'S KEYBOARDS ARE LIKE A SUPERSONIC SOUNDWAVE OF LOVE AND SEDUCTION!
GAS'S DRUMS ARE A TECHNO SENSATION OF ORACULAR MINDRYHTMS!

I'm sorry... I just can't help myself... they're my favorite band in teh entire world...

I can't help but sob when I listen to them... they give me fucking shivers and I... I... I...

My mind is wiped dry.

SO BEAUTIFUL....
I CAN'T I CAN'T I CAN'T I CAN'T I CAN'T I CAN'T....

Damn them...I can't listen to him without them like ripping a reaction like this out my heart.
I actually think that's why I've been avoiding listening to them during the last 4 months or so.

]]> ~emoxjello http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/20462678/ http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/20462678/ Fri, 12 Sep 2008 21:20:25 PDT 2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
4. Put any comments in the following line after the song name.
5. Tag three people after this quiz!

Are you male or female?
Taste the Pain- Red Hot Chili Peppers
(That's right, how dare you ask?!)

Describe yourself.
Love Song- Korn
(I'm a sensual lover man, not a fighter.)

What do people feel when they're around you?
They're Comming to Take me Away Ha Ha- Napoleon
( ;.; they think I'm crazy... )

Describe your current relationship.
Right on Time- Red Hot Chili Peppers
(xDDDDDD need I say more?)

Where would you like to be now?
Rendez-vous with Anus- HIM (covering Turbonegro)
(WOOOOOOOOOOOOOW THIS IS FUCKING GENIUS! I LOVE YOU IPOD! LMAO)

How do you feel about love?
Lit up/Let Down- Vains of Jenna
( how... depressing... But it's true. ;.; j/k! lmao)

What's your life like?
Clint Eastwood- Gorillaz
(Gosh.. I wish Clint Eastwood would have been in my life if he were like 30 years younger... God he was a sexyass beast in Good, Bad, and the Ugly <333)

If someone says "is this okay?" you say,
Put Your Lights On- Santana
(... -ahem- I wasn't high when I said that...)

How would you describe yourself?
Bathwater- No Doubt
(Yes, I'm disgusting. What of it?)

What do you like in a guy/girl?
Fight Like a Brave- Red Hot Chili Peppers
(That's right man, you gotta fight the power without fear!)

How do you feel today?
Blow the Whistle- Too Short
(LMAO! Oh god...)

What is your life's purpose?
Foxey Lady- Jimi Hendrix
(I'm a seductress... mreow! ;3)

What is your motto?
Send the Pain Below- Chevelle
(That actually is my motto. WOW! )

What do your friends think of you?
Je Ne T'aime Plus- Manu Chao
( D: WHAT?! I HATE YOU GUYS! -goes off to cry in a corner)

What do you think of your parents?
Disclaimer- The Offspring
(Yep, they definately need one.)

What do you think about very often?
In Joy and Sorrow(acoustic version)- HIM
(my life is depressing... and SO JOYOUS CAUSE I LOVE HIM!)

What is 2 + 2?
Gone with the Sin(O.D version)- HIM
(dammit... no wonder I didn't pass the math quiz!)

What do you think of your best friend?
Baila Me- Gypsy Kings
(C'mon friends lets booogey!)

What do you think of the person you like?
The Park- Feist
(Hell yeah, that's where I wanna go with the person I like -wink- ;3 Remember the slide, Hillary?)

What is your life story?
Quiet- The Smashing Pumpkins
(... fuck it all. I'm gonna start rebelling and rioting as of now.)

What do you want to be when you grow up?
Under my Umbrella- Incubus
(... I don't know.)

What do you think of when you see the person you like?
Sloppy Love Jingle Pt. 1- Gym Class Heroes
(OMFG HOW APPROPRIATE!!! I slip, trip, bust my lip, and fall in love!)

What will you dance to at your wedding?
Dare- Gorillaz
(ALLLLRIGHT! woohoo)

What will they play at your funeral?
I'm Your Problem Now- Mindless Self Indulgence
(LMAO! That's right you have a dead body rotting in front of you, what're you gonna do 'bout it?)

What is your hobby/interest?
Panic- The Smiths
(I'm a terrorist, obviously. >.< )

What is your biggest fear?
Alms Alms- Sweeney Todd Soundtrack
(I FUCKING HATE THIS SONG!!!! AND I HATE THE BITCH THAT SINGS IT! No wonder it's my biggest fear!)

What is your biggest secret?
Where It's At- Beck
(Heehee where is it at, eh eh eh? You'll never know!)

What do you think of your friends?
White People for Peace- Against Me!
(LMAO you guys are white... and peaceful! lolz)

What will you post this journal's title as?
Summer Shudder- AFI
(...how 'bout not?)

Well, anything to say to your watchers out there?
A Little Priest- Sweeney Todd
(MMmmm... Itchy, tasty.... -munches on Pope-)

I TAG ALL THE LOVERS I'VE RACKED UP OVER THE YEAR!

]]> ~emoxjello http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/20431077/ http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/20431077/ Wed, 10 Sep 2008 21:47:18 PDT How silly of me to suggest such trivial pieces of UTTER SHIT.

LMAO

So you call me a writer, eh? A writer with no words. I'm not gonna get very far that way.

GENIUS STRIKE ME!!!! -waits-... fuck!!!!!

I'm gonna go cry now and recite my mantras...

How silly of me...

]]> ~emoxjello http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/20332343/ http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/20332343/ Thu, 04 Sep 2008 21:18:05 PDT Concept: HARDSHIP
-Nietzsche was alive ~1850-1900
-He became the most influential figure of thought (specifically: hardship) in the 20th century

-We all face setbacks and philosophers are there to offer advice to make the pain go away
-Nietzsche was the first who radically stated that HARDSHIP can bring HAPPINESS (he wished wretchedness upon all)
-He comapred it to a climber scaling a mountain
-Nietzsche's life wwas very difficult both physically and mentally (physically was due to his syphilis which he acquired at some whorehouse in 'college'
-Stayed in Switzerland
-Worked on some of his most famous books there
-Became a professor at the age of 23 but was never successful during his life
-Had little money and his books went largely unread
-He adored mountains. Quote: "Philosophy is a solitary living in ice and mountains"
-Love life was just as unsuccessful
-Ended his days in madness
-Example: he embraced a horse (naked btw, after running out of a pub? or whorehouse? I forgot...) and exclaimed: "This is the most human thing here!"
-Was put into an asylum (and died at the age of 56)

-Ballerinas must work to achieve goals (strains, pains (blisters/blood, pained backs... etc.)

Nietzsche says: NO ONE IS BORN GIFTED! Everyone must work
-DIFFICULTY IS NORMAL, PAIN IS NORMAL
-Pain is a sign that shows a gap of who we are and where we want to be
-USE suffering to create something BEAUTIFUL
There is no end of the world for humans- we can all bounce back
-HAVE THE FEELING OF FAILURE
-HOW CAN YOU JUDGE YOUR SUCCESS IF YOU DON'T FAIL?
-Nietzsche even wished misfortune on his friends
-The manner in which failure has been met is what matters

-Nietzsche wanted to give up books to become a gardner
-Likened gardening to philosophy: roots may be ugly but can be fixed(cultivated) to make something beautiful
-BUILD YOUR HOMES ON THE SLOPES OF MOUNTAINS
-Live recklessly/dangerously because the VIEW CAN BE FANTASTIC
-Nietzsche hated that drinking alcohol suppressed sorrows
-Happiness cannot be brought about by escaping troubles but rather, it is brought about by cultivating them

-The philosopher loves his father (a preacher who died when Nietzsche was around 4)
"Love never ceases"
-Grew up in a very religious atmosphere
-Nietzsche grew up to hate religion stating: "ONE DOES WELL TO PUT GLOVES ON WHEN READING THE FIRST TESTAMENT. THE ONLY RESPECTABLE FIGURE IS PILATE"
-Religion dulls pain and weakens resolves

-PAIN IS ENERGY and PROBLEMS ARE ASSETS
-Nietzsche never denied his wishes/pain
-When he died it was written in the book at the church: "A known antichrist"
-Calls religion: " A RELIGION OF COMFORTABLENESS" (written sarcastically)
-THEY ARE ALL SHY DEERS HIDING IN THE FOREST
-Those who dare to climb, breathe the sweet air and see the terrific views

-WHAT DOESN'T KILL ME, MAKES ME STRONGER! (<3)
-Not everything that makes us sffer is bad and not everything that is good is actually good

-Speak to me of overcoming, everything else is chatter
-Philosophy is a form of hygiene for the mind, cleansing to achieve VITALITY(energy)
-The philosopher loves his enemies and hates his friends

]]> ~emoxjello http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/20272043/ http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/20272043/ Mon, 01 Sep 2008 12:55:37 PDT Basically, on certain random nondescript days the world decides it's time for a CONNECTION DUMP!
You guys know about the chaos theory right? RIGHT?!
Ignore the below if you know what the chaos theory is....
"The phrase refers to the idea that a butterfly's wings might create tiny changes in the atmosphere that may ultimately alter the path of a tornado or delay, accelerate or even prevent the occurrence of a tornado in a certain location. The flapping wing represents a small change in the initial condition of the system, which causes a chain of events leading to large-scale alterations of events. Had the butterfly not flapped its wings, the trajectory of the system might have been vastly different. Of course the butterfly cannot literally cause a tornado. The kinetic energy in a tornado is enormously larger than the energy in the turbulence of a butterfly. The kinetic energy of a tornado is ultimately provided by the sun and the butterfly can only influence certain details of weather events in a chaotic manner.
Recurrence, the approximate return of a system towards its initial conditions, together with sensitive dependence on initial conditions are the two main ingredients for chaotic motion. They have the practical consequence of making complex systems, such as the weather, difficult to predict past a certain time range (approximately a week in the case of weather)." -Wiki <3

So essentially, what this is saying is that /everything/ is connected. Well, it's true so why bother arguing with it! ^.^
But when this happens... it breaks my brain. So it's kinda fun and kinda scary at the same time.
I had this whole crazy connection involving the 69 eyes, HIM, The lost boys, the doors (morrisson) going around and around and around in a spiral a while ago. That one was my most recent one.

But today I have another one!
I'm studying Hinduism right now 'righ 'righ?
I have a role-play with XxJakOxX involving a certain vampire named, Bhakti and an adorable little mortal named Bambi, righ?
The character Bhakti was inspired by this guy who was working at Whole Foods who had /extremely/ long dreads and was also named Bhakti.
So... today I discovered what Bhakti means! (i had never bothered looking it up since... well I thought it was just a strange name!)

In Hinduism the entire point of it is not to become reincarnated. This cycle, known as samsara (Wheel of rebirth), is continued until moksha (liberation, or freedom from the human condition, or release into the infinite ocean of the divine, infinite bliss, united forever with the divine, etc. etc.) is achieved. Karma works with samsara in determining the nature of each reincarnation. Karma, I suppose can be /loosely/ viewed as a type of judgement. Dharma is the ethical duty based on the divine order of reality. So while karma holds people responsible for their action, dharma is the rule of life. Following dharma is what gives you good or bad karma.
Are you following me?
M'kay so then how would you know what to follow? what is the dharma you need to follow to get good karma? This is where the caste system comes in. Caste is your social class... but nevermind all that!
What Bhakti gets into is the Paths to Liberation (moksha). Not everyone is the same, so how can there be one path? Hinduism solves this by offering three paths that successfully cover each general type of individual. The first is Karma Marga or Karma Yoga which means "the path of works". This is the most common path since it engages the tasks of earning a living, raising family, physical activities, etc. etc.

Second path Jnana Marga, or Jnana Yoga, The path of knowledge. This path is for those people who have a talent for philosophical reflection (sounds like me! heh heh)

And the third path which created this crazy chain of events is the Bhakti Marga, or Bhakti Yoga, the path of DEVOTION! Now this is absolutely hilarious.... Anyway before I get into the detail as to why, lemme explain what bhakti marga is. Bhakti marga is for people who easily experience emotional attachment (more hilarity here btw), and they try to reach Moksha by worship of gods and goddesses...

Right now the hilarious part:
Bhakti and devotion should never be used in the same sentence when regarding the vampire character. Just... no... he's a fucking psychoticbitchass murderer!
Emotional attachment? he's the most fucking detached vampire in the fucking world. He doesn't give a damn about life and thus could care less about other creatures/beings etc.

So here's where things start to get trippy:
One of the most commonly worshipped gods of Hinduism that people worship when they follow the bath of Bhakti Marga is: Shiva, THE GOD OF DESTRUCTION
Now that sounds a whole lot more appropriate! http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/20208509/ Thu, 28 Aug 2008 19:45:14 PDT Today I wrestled with Ben and I totally kicked his ass after his shoelace came untied. bwahahaha!
I never have homework!
The Dir en Grey tix came today!!! yaaay! I have them physically in my hands now. I can't wait 'til Nov. 30th. I really really really need this.
I'm going through concert withdrawls. -dies- I'm a music junkie and I need my riot hit.
I have amazing inspiration running through my veins. I just need to wait 'till December and you'll get an art dump like you won't believe!

I've been taking cold showers. You should too to decide whether the water is hot or cold!
Basically, as most of you know, I was really emopissy and like the whatnot but....
Philosophy has been the perfect bandage. It's like emu oil. It heals, soothes, protects, and allows it to breathe.

I can't control anything. Nothing will get better. So I should stop trying to covince myself that things will get better. I won't go to that happy in my mind. I'll let the pain hurt and I won't set the thoughts aside I'll accept that it hurts. I won't be a slave to my fears.
I'm not tied to this chair. I'm willingly tied to my pain. And it feels so good.

]]> ~emoxjello http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/20023190/ http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/20023190/ Mon, 18 Aug 2008 13:20:32 PDT Now /that/ was cool.
Mmkayzzzz... so today was orientation day! woohoo and tomorrow I start school again! Should be a fun year! lmao
Over the weekend I applied for a job at the Albany Aquarium (a place where they sell fishies and anything that has to do with aquariums). \
This is year is gonna be da shizzzzznit! I'm not joking.... well like I'unno. No fuck it, it's gonna be. I've goddamned decided. y'know why????
I'LL TELL YOU WHY!!!!!! I don't give a shit if you don't wanna know I'm telling:

1. I get to go off campus to buy lunch now... 'cept I can't really cause I don't have a car...
2. I have many remedies to (1.)!!!! I have many friends who can drive!
3. A friend who can drive is a longlost friend known as, BEN!!!!!!!! Hillary, Jenna, you guys remember him! Man I missed him. It was fun talking to him again and he's gonna drive me to lunch. w000hooo...
4. Vincent can also drive me to lunch, or I'll punch him. xP I love you vincent!
5. My hair looks fucking rad
6. Kevin said he'll go with me to a DIR EN GREY CONCERT! -squeeeeeeflail- I'm gonna call him now actually and ask if he wants me to buy his ticket! Anyone else wanna go? I'm recruiting peeps! lmao Tix are $30 dollars, location: warfield, SF, and it's Nov. 30? it' a sunday in november remember rembember the blahblah november! lmao
7. Kevin has dirtbikes and he's gonna teach me to ride a motorcycle! Finally my dreams will all come true!
8. Anime club will continue and they're gonna be playing GURREN LAGAN!!!! FUCK YES! great great great anime! so I may actually go this time instead of watching shitty ass princess monosomethingorother and totoro shit...
9. I'm just all around excited!

]]> ~emoxjello http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/19924096/ http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/19924096/ Tue, 12 Aug 2008 21:10:39 PDT
This is has gone up and beyond anything I could foresee or can possibly handle in my current stage of life....

Honestly, I don't know what to do.

what.... what happened? What did I do? What did I do that was so wrong to bring this upon...

This is ridiculous.

It's not like I can't believe this is happening to me, fuck... /anything/ can happen. It's not even so much as a /why/ me... it's like a plain old: I DON'T WANT THIS! GET RID OF IT! RUN AWAY! HELP ME!!!!!

I... don't understand....

I'm beyond exploding, my mind is broken. Flat out.
Dammit, I threw away the manual.

If I tried speaking to someone for help... I /know/ they wouldn't understand... Only thing they could do to possibly help is to give me the strongest dose of morphine. That's the only thing that could possibly be helpful. But what the most likely thing to happen is that they'll say: I understand, and I'm sorry....


Even fucking Jesus didn't raise this many people during his lifetime.

How the hell-

How can I-

...

Usually when I write what just comes to my mind, something comforting happens. And then one of you guys mentions something that confirms my feelings but...

Now I just got nothing.......

wall wall wall... blank blank blank.
Goddamit, quit firing blanks and load the gun with a bullet already!

.................................................
fragggggggggg

uhm yeah, that's pretty much what's up with me right now... This is horrible, and there's no way out. It's like a rolypoly trapped in a 50 foot plastic jar coated in soap.

Fatality....

]]> ~emoxjello http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/19865388/ http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/19865388/ Sat, 09 Aug 2008 16:23:26 PDT
It's always tease, tease, tease
You're happy when I'm on my knees
One day is fine, the next is black
So if you want me off your back
Well come on and let me know
Should I Stay or should I go

meh /exact/ feelings right there!
Only thing keeping me anchored is.....

I don't know actually... my pets? probably.
Oh speaking of which btw I went to a petstore in chinatown but there was no Count D. It was big a lot bigger than it looked like on the outside ;3

Right, I was talking about misery.....
Yeah I'm miserable right now and it's at the point where I feel like I'm gonna break down. I feel like I should, I feel like I might collapse.
I feel like it, but it's not gonna happen.
This isn't 'bravery' or 'strength', not even so much 'willpower'... don't even start to think I'm valiant and honorable.
I'm not that person.... what I am is.......

I don't know actually...

But it's never happened before and it probably never will, but if it does it'll be a terrible moment, the world will break open and lightning will terrorize the skies.

I'm not poetic either, and I'm not a leader. I'm not quiet, and I'm certainly not believer.
Don't call me brave, don't mention thoughtful.

I'm sick and ill and the world should despise me.
Instead of having dreams of me saving humanity, they should all think like my family does of me: school is all for shit, and in order to survive you gotta be the best and since your not you should just do backbreaking labor cause your bones are strong.

Fuck you.
Fuck you to hell and I hope that jesus fucks you in the ass in a gangbang including all the apostles females and males

I'm so pissed right now I hope you get a stye in your eye and you burn, burn, burn, burn, burn as I rebel and riot.

I hope you choke and fucking burn like a roasted duck at a chinese restuarant. Peking fucking roasted duck.

I hope your intestines fall out of your ass and you bleed an ocean of wine. you'll fill every single Italian vineyard wineglass and all them fancy rich bitches will sip sip sip you away.

I hope your balls get caught in a cherrypicker and all the americans pop you in their Coca-Colas glasses. you faux maraschino cherry....

I could cross the world with these insults cause if I'm anything I'm damn creative!

Definition of creative taken from dictionary.com:
1. having the quality or power of creating.
2. resulting from originality of thought, expression, etc.; imaginative: creative writing.
3. originative; productive (usually fol. by of).
4. Facetious. using or creating exaggerated or skewed data, information, etc.: creative bookkeeping.

See God? I can do it too....

I GOT THE FUCKING MESSAGE. IT'S TIME TO GROW UP. YOU AREN'T GONNA LET ME HOLD ONTO CHILDHOOD ANY LONGER...
BUT GUESSWHAT MOTHERFUCKING ASSHOLE, YOU CUNTFACED BAG OF SHIT.....
YOU CAN SMITE MY ENTIRE GODDAMN FAMILY, BUT I AIN'T GONNA SHED A SINGLE TEAR FOR THEM AND I CERTAINLY AM NEVER GONNA LOOK INTO THEIR LIFELESS FACES... SO BURN BURN BURN LIKE SHE DID AND HOW MY HEART IS NOW!!!!!!!!

Ahhh... venting.... phew

]]> ~emoxjello http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/19615835/ http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/19615835/ Sun, 27 Jul 2008 00:01:12 PDT
1) I'm gonna lose 50 lbs by my next major vacation (which should be sometime next June) so by my calculations if I lose 1.5 lbs a week which is the healthy amount to be losing without extreme dietings or workouts or anything it'll be perfect!
Yush. I don't care what you have to say it's my decision and I just felt like announcing it so it'll motivate me to get through with it cause if I fail I'll be embarassed so ha to you psyche!

Right onto announcement numero 2!!!! hooooo

I think I'm a bloody fucking genius for comming up with this in the shower but I'd like to know what a few of you think:
I just came up with a plot. Yush a plot
I don't know if it should be a comicbook, an endless chronicle adventure series, a short story, a regular story, a book, a movie, or just stay in my dreams.

Is it cheesy? Is it stupid? Is it boring? Is it cliche? Has it already been done and I'm just retarded for not remembering where I jipped the idea from? should I go on with it? Any ideas for character names/ organization names? Any ideas for plot twists? Anyone wanna be a producer? Anyone wanna be coauthor? Anyone wanna draw it? Anyone want me to shut up now and get on with it?

No one better steal this shit or I'll kill them with my bare hands

Okay here's my pitch:

The story would be called The Black Widow or something along those lines.

The concept is about the ultimate prostitue. Yush a prostitue and a male one at that. I mean, it's Vanessa we're talking about so of course it would have to be about male prostitues but anyway....
He is alledgedly unbelievably beautiful but of course this is only stated by the lucky few who have /been/ with him since he never shows himself in public. He's covered from head to toe whenever he's on tv, news, shopping, etc.
But what makes him the ultimate prostitute you ask?
Basically he's worth millions and eventually billions of dollars for just one service. Yes, he is the prostitue to the richest most powerful people in the world. And usually these people if they are sane and remain sane can only afford him once because he is so expensive... those who become corrupt with his beauty take him two or three times and then are bankrupt.
Apparently there are rumors that this prostitute has existed for thousands of years... could this man be the /real/ Helen of Troy? dun dun dun!!!!!
He is known simply as The Black Widow... no one knows where he is from, his age... nothing...
And most importantly they don't know what he plans to do with all that money until one day!!!! la la la

Okay here's the breakdown:
There's this fraternity (haven't come up with a name for it yet)that has existed for as long as the Black Widow has existed. It is comprised of the few billionaires who have managed to spend that fateful night with him. The fraternity dedicate themselves to his memory and more importantly the protection of his identity from the public. Though it may seem sweet that they want to protect this fellow... they're anything but noble. They're as dirty as their money and they run the world with the Widow as their king. Big, mean, nasty henchmen is all they are. They'll kill, threaten, or hurt anyone who even thinks about leaking information on the Black Widow to the public or more importantly the government.

Now that leads us to the Government Fraternity (haven't come up with a name for these guys either):
They're the exact opposite of the fraternity above. What they desire above all else is to eliminate this prostitute so they can collect his riches and restore world order (economy, world hunger, global warming, conservation, oil, nuclear weapons, etc. etc.). Of course, this fraternity is more corrupt than the Black Widow's since it is comprised of governments from around the world without a uniting motive. They all want to get the money and destroy the Black Widow but once they get the money... who will get the glory? Who will be the savior? what will be done to save the earth? So of course within this united government of powers there is deep deep deep corruption. Traitors are savagely killed, the heroes lose their lives at the hands of the warmongerers... it's a fucked up world with fucked up mentalities. But what this fraternity fears most is the Black Widow taking over the world

Of course such a crazy fraternity needs a badass evil leader... so I'll eventually come up with some super awesome guy. And pretty much everyone will be equally as badass.

And amongst all of this badassness and chaos there is the sweet hero of the story who is just flatout awesome:

His goal and life is to become a millionaire... for what r... ]]> ~emoxjello http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/19546034/ http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/19546034/ Tue, 22 Jul 2008 22:26:49 PDT
Anyway guess what? I trained my betta fishy Jimmy Blue to jump! yush it's actually freakin adorable and terrifying if your fingers are too close! >.< teehee

Uh what else? I'm almost done with my AP biology work which = drawing time

Oh and guess what I'm a fucking bloody moron. I got lost on the way to my audition but thank da godz the director is a holy man! He's allowed me to audtion later... I should start memorizing that monologue again.... -sigh-

Shitty thing is that I'm losing my mind right now cuz mah dominican friends are coming over for over a week which = no time to finish the last two outlines which = instant K.O

FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK FUCK ME NAO! -dies- x.X

Right-o what else? Ohhhh I finally watched What's Eating Gilbert Grape and i'm now dying to see Dark Knight -emosigh- again

When did life get so goddamn busy?

Go back to school on the 18th.... not looking forwards to it.

Anyway I'm hungry and I'm gonna go draw more gayporn and possibly manually ink gay porn cause I'm pissed at photoshop

kthnxbai!

]]> ~emoxjello http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/19184556/ http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/19184556/ Thu, 03 Jul 2008 13:11:55 PDT <333 and I love my OCs!
And the subject box isn't working! yaaay Oh wait now it does! nevermind

oh and all of these characters are created by me! yes... I have created /that/ many characters much to Cho-chan's dismay and the dismay of my family suck it.

BELIEVE IT!

sorry I had to... I couldn't resist

Choose twelve of your original characters in any particular order (NO PEEKING AT THE QUESTIONS AT THIS STAGE!). Then, answer the questions that follow and don't forget to tag a couple of people when you're finished. |D

1. Ryoko (The typical Neko boy!)
2. Ryoko (Cross-dressing geisha man! yes I have to characters named ryoko and wanna hear something ironic? This ryoko is seducing a ronin samurai and kitty boy Ryoko the one above is with a blind guy /named/ Ronin? )
3. Salazar (centpolar vampire <3 addicted to snakes)
4. Mieko (super ghey nerd of the future)
5. Riley (badass Harley Davidson lover)
6. Sterling (blind, albino, mentally diseased psycho)
7. Chris (loser werewolf highschool dropout)
8. Bijou (badass vampire slayer)
9. Jukka (Spinnish(spanish/finnish)drummer druggie)
10. Augustus (crazy soapopera loving vampire)
11. Thor (sexiest man alive, super model, and official dumbass)
12. Mjolnir (Thor's twin brother, only genius and still super sexy)

***
01) Who would make a better college professor, 6 or 11? What subject?

Wow... lessee who would you prefer? A mental ward patient or a dumbass?

I guess Sterling... he would obviously teach P.E

***
02) Do you think 2 is hot? How hot?

Yes, he's a damn sexy whore geisha. On a scale from 1-10 I'd say a 10.5

***
03) 12 sends 8 on a mission. What is it, and does it succeed?

Mjolnir would send Bijou to assassinate his brother, Thor. And Bijou would probably refuse cause Thor isn't a vampire and he's too easy of a mark...
So, the mission wouldn't even be started. xP

***
04) What is or would be 9's favorite book?

Wow... Jukka reading a book? That's funny! lol

***
05) Would it make more sense for 2 to swear fealty to 6, or the other way around?

I really really doubt it. Why would you a lying geisha thief swear fealty to a psychoward patient?

But Sterling would probably swear fealty and then totally forget about it

***
06) For some reason, 5 is looking for a roommate. Should she share a studio apartment with 9 or with 10?

I'm pretty sure Riley would choose Jukka cause they're both crazy partygoers and they'd have a blast whereas with 10... Riley would think Augustus was a pussy and he would probably get on his nerves.



***
07) 2, 7 and 12 have dinner together. Where do they go, and what do they discuss?

They'd probably go to a beverly hills nightclub. I think Ryoko and Mjolnir would hook up and poor little Chris would end up being an awkward third wheel

***
08) 3 challenges 10 to a duel. What happens?

OMFG THAT WOULD BE THE MOST EPIC BATTLE OF THE CENTURY!!!!! Hillary... we have to try this! ^.^
I mean Augustus is pretty badass! He took on Angel's brother and Akasha and SURVIVED!
And Salazar... he murders cities! <3

***
09) If 1 stole 8's most precious possession, how would she/he get it back?

Ryoko would get immediately owned by Bijou.

***
10) Suggest a title for a story in which 7 and 12 both attain what they most desire.

Naughty afterschool sessions! ;3

***
11) What kind of plot device would you use if you wanted 4 and 1 to work together?

Mieko would use his computer linde to create a time machine and travel back to Japan during the feudal area to escape Tsume! And then Mieko would meet Ryoko and Takumi who would be extremely confused by the amount of girliness in the two guys but they'd all be best friends! ^^

***

12) If 7 visited you for the weekend, how would you get along?

I would love him very much! I'd take him to Marina's house and he'd pretend to be Remus! ^^

***
13) If you could command 3 to perform any one task or service for you, what would it be?

I would tell him to please not kill me! ;: Nice... salazar! -pets-

***
14) Does anyone on your friends list write or draw 11?

No... it's really difficult to describe or even draw the sexiest man alive! ^^


***
15) If 2 had to choose sides between 4 and 5, which would i... ]]> ~emoxjello http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/19094753/ http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/19094753/ Sat, 28 Jun 2008 14:55:54 PDT
Whoever wrote that swallowing a bottle of pills will end your life can fucking choke on a tylenol for all I care.

Whoever warned cutters that slitting their wrists will make then bleed to death should try it first so they can feel the addiction.

Whoever said putting your neck in a noose will snap your neck, I'll kick the chair you're standing on for you.

And whoever fucking said that commiting suicide was for the weak, the depressed, the lonely, the lost, the outcast, the unloved, the cowards, the hated, the unnapproved, the fakers, the loyalists, the lovers, the fighters, the loveless, the distasteful, the alcoholics, the fags, the motherless children, the childless fathers, the priests, the beggars, the homeless, the devoted, the cherished, and the deformed can come and tell it to my face so that their memory will forever burn.

My mother always told me that she would never cry for someone who commited suicide. Because they wanted to die... they quit, and no one cries for a loser.
She told me people should cry for those who struggled and didn't make it.
Like rhose who are dying of cancer... apparently they deserve a mourning more than the others.

But so far of all the deaths of family and friends I've witnessed since the first death I can remember at the age of 6, I've never been able to shed a single tear.

As soon as they pass their face is erased from my mind but the places they've tread has a strange golden glow.

You know, I wonder what it will take to make me cry... maybe the death of my mother, my father, my sister, my best friend, or my lover.

Maybe I never will.
Because death is the road to awe.

We all watched him give up and die without a struggle... without lifting a finger. He simply couldn't go on anymore and his heart gently stopped beating.

It's what happens. Nothing will ever be the same... but every second that passes will never be the same either so it isn't such a novelty is it?

I'm okay and I know I'll always be because I'm stronger than I look.

]]> ~emoxjello http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/19094744/ http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/19094744/ Sat, 28 Jun 2008 14:55:07 PDT
Whoever wrote that swallowing a bottle of pills will end your life can fucking choke on a tylenol for all I care.

Whoever warned cutters that slitting their wrists will make then bleed to death should try it first so they can feel the addiction.

Whoever said putting your neck in a noose will snap your neck, I'll kick the chair you're standing on for you.

And whoever fucking said that commiting suicide was for the weak, the depressed, the lonely, the lost, the outcast, the unloved, the cowards, the hated, the unnapproved, the fakers, the loyalists, the lovers, the fighters, the loveless, the distasteful, the alcoholics, the fags, the motherless children, the childless fathers, the priests, the beggars, the homeless, the devoted, the cherished, and the deformed can come and tell it to my face so that their memory will forever burn.

My mother always told me that she would never cry for someone who commited suicide. Because they wanted to die... they quit, and no one cries for a loser.
She told me people should cry for those who struggled and didn't make it.
Like rhose who are dying of cancer... apparently they deserve a mourning more than the others.

But so far of all the deaths of family and friends I've witnessed since the first death I can remember at the age of 6, I've never been able to shed a single tear.

As soon as they pass their face is erased from my mind but the places they've tread has a strange golden glow.

You know, I wonder what it will take to make me cry... maybe the death of my mother, my father, my sister, my best friend, or my lover.

Maybe I never will.
Because death is the road to awe.

We all watched him give up and die without a struggle... without lifting a finger. He simply couldn't go on anymore and his heart gently stopped beating.

It's what happens. Nothing will ever be the same... but every second that passes will never be the same either so it isn't such a novelty is it?

I'm okay and I know I'll always be because I'm stronger than I look.

]]> ~emoxjello http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/19032320/ http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/19032320/ Wed, 25 Jun 2008 04:20:04 PDT خزدهخعسمغ فاهس يخثسر؛ف وشنث شرغ سثسرسث زعف غخع ذشر تعسف بعذنهرل سعذن هف

ه؛و لخررش يهث هر فاث شهقحمشرث زعف همخدث غخع شمم شرغصشغ
حثشذث شري نهسسثس


ه وهسس غخع

]]> ~emoxjello http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/19032294/ http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/19032294/ Wed, 25 Jun 2008 04:15:43 PDT
i feel sooooo new... i like basically didn't check anything and deleted it all so i could be as clueless as i am now.

this is how i became stupid.

because sea sponges don't feel pain.

btw i'm still alive i didn't get trampled by a camel...
tomorrow is the flight wheeeeee 18 hours of fucking fun

see you all soon hopefully

i've been smoking waaaay too much bong over here.

btw i'm not regretful but the computer wont let me load the moods. xDDD

]]> ~emoxjello http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/18740024/ http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/18740024/ Sun, 08 Jun 2008 23:36:29 PDT I ate a cheerio today that was actually a caterpiller.
And I saw a ghost this morning. I saw her. She scared the living day lights out of me, she was sad and was soaked to the bone.
I wonder if she died that way....
She was made of mist.
And I confessed this to my sister and Colin, which was a great weight off of my chest.
She got mad because now she's scared....
and then she continued by asking me if I was still saying my prayers at night.
I leave Friday morning for 12 days or so.. .I don't know... I don't even know what day it is.

I've seen a ghost in my house too, she was a younger blonde girl. She was in the bathroom. She was pale and soft.

I've seen a ghost in the ocean. He was a beautiful man with a hat and a stern stare that could kill. He was mad but I thought he was resentful. That was a long time ago.

You probably think I've been reading too much Odd Thomas. I probably have... but I don't see them like Oddie does. I don't have that type of skill, and I don't have psychic magnetism... nor am I skinny or fit enough to run around and find murderers like he.

I see a ghostly shape... a shadow out of the corner of my eye and I turn... I see them for a moment and then they're gone. They look real and yet they're surrounded by an aura.
Why am I doing this? Oh right I'm scared shitless still.... I don't know why, they can't do anything but liek... you feel 'em there and it's sad....... so sad.....

The breeze was beautiful today, in it was my god. She was graceful and danced in the night with her lover. I stood transfixed. It had to be a woman, the breeze so soft.

-sigh- Don't worry about me, I'll be gone and preoccupied so I can't bother chasing these insanities much further for a while. Well I will.... they just won't be put to words. They'll be drawn in my moleskine.

Mmmm this song holds the taste of cherries... and yet it's called the water...

I like piercings because they make the flesh less touchable less soft... harsh and unwanted.
Try to caress, but there's too many obstructions..... too many sharp edges of jewelry.

Look outside at the sky.

]]> ~emoxjello http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/18700442/ http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/18700442/ Fri, 06 Jun 2008 16:00:40 PDT My little Jimmy-kins... aka Jimbleu my little betta... I cleaned his bowl today but as I pulled the top off of his tank, I noticed this giant heap of bubbles floating, it looked as if someone poured dishwasher into it.
Basically he made a bubble nest!
HE WANTS TO MAKE BABIES! ;.; and he has no wifey to make babies with and I feel so bad for him. He's lonely and he's just huffing and puffing away making a beautiful little home for his babies. -sniffles-
T^T WahhhH!

And even after I destroyed it, he's building one right now... poor little thing... I wish I could get a girly betta, but I'd need a new tank cause otherwise they'd eat eachother...

Oooh and I finished Forever Odd! Sooooooooooooo good! read all of the Odd Thomas books, you won't regret it!

And I'm still playing Final Fantasy... so good, I want Fran. Like I just wish I could bring her to life and I'd just cuddle with her forever! Oooh Balthier too btw... he's a sexy bitch. I think he and Basch make a cute couple.
Oh and Vaan would be Vossler's perfect little bitch but ANYWAY

I'm leaving in 7 Days zomfg! -dies-

]]> ~emoxjello http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/18625702/ http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/18625702/ Mon, 02 Jun 2008 11:16:51 PDT It's not fact. But I know.
I'm sure everyone knows. So how do I put in words what that false feeling of loneliness is?
Describe a color to the blind.
Blue isn't sadness. So he said, the day he whispered goodbye. I thought I would possibly be lonely then.
But who was I to say souls don't become entangled?
That's it, red.
The red string that leads me to him. The farther he goes the stronger the pull against my heart is, since the string can't wrap around the world forever.
So it's longing, it's desire. The yellow glow that you left behind.
No cloud could ever hope to cover you, you're in the sky. And even the earth can't help to tremble as you breathe.
I sit outside, counting each black feather and I taste poison on my lips.
It burns as I try to hold it down, but the taste is so vile that it only brings shadows of your name.
I keep carving my veins into each feather, if only to distract myself a little while longer.
I bet you never knew of the cages I have kept in my room. Within each one I have a phone. Some are white, some are gray... some even shine and shimmer in the light of day. But each stopped singing a long time ago, they refuse to eat and they no longer breathe.
You no longer call.
If you spoke, I wouldn't be able to recognize your voice. My vision was never good, so if I saw your face the shadows wouldn't lay the same.
So draw me, cause I know I'd be able to recognize your lines.
Soft and tender, you'd make me beautiful because your eyes play tricks with you just like mine. I'd know it was you, if you smiled and showed me when you were done and apologize under your breath.
I'd recognize you in the drawing and then I'd go... and I'd leave you to be with the drawn me.

]]> ~emoxjello http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/18562173/ http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/18562173/ Thu, 29 May 2008 15:08:37 PDT -innocent halo- ANYWAY Hullo everbody again! I feel kinda guilty for posting so many journals but liek try to understand I'm outta school and got liek nothing better to do for half of the day.
But yeah I'm in a pretty good mood because for the most part today has been a good day so far! I say for the most part because no day is perfect and tragedy insued and tragedy is insuing as I write.
SO YUSH.
Uhm where to start?
Basically my mom told me to do that spring cleaning shit routine where you're supposed to throw out all your shit.... and I refused to do that. lmao
I'm a hoarder. xPPPPP
SO INSTEAD I PLAYED FINAL FANTASY XII liek the entire day so far from the beginning. I've played with such dedication that I made it to the part with Balthier and Fran make their grand entrance!!!! And I saved it to a seperate slot so I can watch it over and over again! w00t!
So that happened and guess what!!!!! I found a chicken! Yush, all these animals find their havens in my backyard
List of adopted animals: Dutch Rabbit (Momiji), 2 Stray Kittens (SickO) (Jack the Ripper), Sharpei (... I never named it) Black Chicken (RoboChicken, Turkey Chicken, Turkey, Gojira, Godzilla Chicken)
Yep yep so now I have a HUGE BLACK CHICKEN! It's liek effin huge it's liek two fucking feet tall and she's so sweet I snuggled with her! But then she started pecking me to try and eat my bracelet! D: gah!

And my other chicken jumped on her trying to liek attack her or something.
Picolino: zomg that's a sexy chicken
Picolina: AHHH BITCH IS GONNA STEAL MY MAN! ATTACK!
Squirt: Aaah mommy it's a giant! -helps her mom, Picolina in attacking Turkey Chicken-

And of course Gojira didn't even notice cause my other chickens are bantems and are like one hundred times smaller than her so she didn't even feel it!

Now for the tragedy.... MOMIJI BROKE OFF AN ENTIRE TOENAIL!!! Gah there was so much blood I was freaking out!
She was just hopping through the grass when my dad picked her up and he felt something wet and he looked and his want was covered in blood!
Gah I almost dieeeed!
I washed off her foot and put antibacterial cream on it (which she ate... -.- and I'm pretty sure that's worse than the accident)
I hope she gets better! meh... poor momo-chan. -pets her-
Yes she's on my bed to make sure she doesn't eat anymore of the cream! -glares at her and sighs-

]]> ~emoxjello http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/18548296/ http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/18548296/ Wed, 28 May 2008 17:44:53 PDT And I'm not Ice-T, but that is a genius song.
ANYWAY! Today really was a good day.
The ear piercing I gave myself last night didn't explode into a huge swollen infection like I was fearing. y'know all those crazy stories people tell about DIY piercings? I think they were all written by suburban moms trying to prevent their pussy children from piercing themselves out of desperation of being told NO!!!!!!!
So yush, last night I pierced my ear with the aid of a safety pin and some earcare shit I had left over from my previous piercing at claires which cost a fucking liek 40 dollars all together. What a ripoff right?
And this piercing cost liek 0!!!!!
So I've decided that if this piercing continues to heal without any infection whatsoever or complications, I'm gonna do all my piercings by myself! It's fucking easy as hell, in the comfort of my own home!
'cept I'm probably not gonna do that with my industrial cause it's mostly all cartilege and that's more challenging, I could try though, but I know it's gonna be harder.
Kinda tempted to pierce my tragus tonight but I'm not dun worry guys! ^^ fufufufufufu

Anyway the reason I did it was cause I had 2 piercings on one ear and 3 on the other and my ocd was bitching at me, and my mom told me no more so I was liek fuck it I'm making this even! xP so now I've gotta nice round 6! wo0t.

What else happened today?
Right-o!!!! I went to the store with my dad and bought a COCONUT!!!!!!!!!!!! -squees- and GLOWSTICKS! and PEANUT BUTTER! and STARBUCKS FRAPPACINOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ^.^ Oh and doggy food for my puppies!
Ooh oh oh!!! And I bought FOREVER ODD! The sequal to ODD THOMAS WHICH IS ONE OF THE GREATEST BOOOOOOKS EVER WRITTEN BY MAN! -drooooooooooools- So goooooooooooooooood!

and then and then and then!!! They also had the sequal to /that/ one, BROTHER ODD!!! But I wasn't allowed to but it... ;.; but I'll go back as soon as I finish Forever Odd!
And oooooohhhhhhh zomg!!! There is gonna be a sequal released to Forever Odd this year called ODD HOURS! I'm so excited lots o' good readings....
and I'm still reading Next, and I'm gonna read Jonathon Strange and M. Norell, and Snow Garden, and No Country for Old Men and Dracula and the list goes on and on and on!!!! whooooo!

COCONUTS!
CUTTLEFISH!
RUBBERDUCK! ^.^ Rubber toys are <3

]]> ~emoxjello http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/18530712/ http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/18530712/ Tue, 27 May 2008 16:30:53 PDT I'unno if I'm overwhelmed or so bored that little impediments seem liek nightmares cause I've got nothing better to worry about?
Liek life is going way too fast for me, I've never been fast at anything and at the moment it feels liek I'm sprinting to try and catch up but everyones already crossed the finish line and my stomach is getting sick and I can't breathe very well and I'm tired!!!!
I had a good cry last night, very satisfying... I don't entirely remember what I had decided to cry about but it let me sleep liek a baby.
Anyway, fanime was teh greatest this weekend! I hugged Jesus and there was yaoiness and amazing music with AnCafe!!!!!! ^.^ -squeeezels-
Gah just a great way to end overwhelming school which I just managed to crawl out of!!!!
So yush yush lots of artistic time... 'cept I gotta study for that goddamned driver's license (I've had lots of driving nightmares since I was liek 5... so I'm a bit nervous :: ). And I'll be leaving to egypt June 13th for basically two weeks so I gotta get ready and pack for that.
Uh uh uh UH!!!!!
oh oh oh ohhhh!!!1 mmmhfm...
gah.
nya.... -sigh- -.- shoot me now.
My life is terrible and other people realize this along with it all. But it isn't terrible. And yet it's painted in a sticky black vinyl that makes my life fester and smolder and sweat and smother and suffocate under it.
I don't feel it though, I just built a little rainforest under it with all these beautiful creatures you see... colorful birds and treacherous predators needed to balance this lovely ecosystem. All this sweat and choking fog feeds the drooping trees and waters the poisonous frogs that live alongside me.
But just like the europeans thought the natives were savage, they think I'm savage too... they think I'm miserable and unloved and tortured and hurt and in agony. They think it's their responsibility to civilize and convert me.
I've studied their religions and their god is a selfish god who could never learn to love a child liek me, wild and barren and festering in my own blood. I went along with it at first because I wanted to please them, pleasing them was the only to insure they wouldn't slaughter my beautiful beasts that coinhabit this sanctuary. I still say the prayers and make the sacred gestures but I won't go into this initiation any longer.
They'll call me a devil, a demon, a witch, a bastard, a whore, the worst of lucifer's cohorts. I'll be shunned and shoved and imprisoned and eventually poisoned.
But I'll take it all, their swords, arrows, guns, canons, credit cards and more and I'll rise farther above than they ever wished they could.
I'm no martyr for this dying forest. I may have a righteous cause but I'm not willing to die and I won't. Not because of this stupidity.
I'll keep playing along, as long as their is something I can gain. I've learned from these parrots to copy and repeat, I can do it.... and when I can leech no more I'll destroy the hand that feeds.
Ah.... -breathes- thank you nameless... Anton Christos. You say things better than I could ever say because you're a vertabrae.
Right I have to stand up for what I think. They won't convert me. But I'm willing to use and sacrifice if it gets me further along. I'll play this injured and tortured poster child for as long as they want as long as they keep putting opium into my veins. As soon as they cut the supply I'll dump 'em into the ditch to fester and burn. Sounds terrific to me. What do you guys think?
I'm crazy aren't I? But that's the be expected... cause who isn't? Just some insanity is more vivid than other versions..........
......mmmhm....
Wings, and things, black feather tips. Make 'em big, they won't be an escape but they'll take your mind away.
I'll do that, I'll jump that high some day.
Imprisoned isn't anything I wanna hear, travelling through soundwaves alpha waves are so much better and delighful to the ear...... whisper it again and you'll hear.

STOP. This is crazy, don't write anymore.
STOP NOW.

]]> ~emoxjello http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/18371834/ http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/18371834/ Sat, 17 May 2008 18:54:33 PDT Ap art was murder since there was a little mishap with the number of pieces I made... 11 /not/ 12 like I had thought. That involved a lot of stress to say the least and rushing around from school to house to montclair, midnight phone calls and flirting. phew
That was out of the way May 9th thank gawd but it was cruelly followed by an onslaught of projects and ap readiness/'weeding out the weaklings' tests.
But I got into both AP bio and english!!! And of course art again (I'm apparently a masochist)... but I was already automatically accepted into that.
But basically this month has been amazing and tortorous!!!! Frank in Little Miss Sunshine was right, suffering is the best time of your life... all the happy times don't even come close.
Because when you're being shot down... you hit a point where you know its time to sink or swim.
And when you're just hanging on the edge and about to drown and you manage to get this rush of adrenaline where you know you won't give up you just manage to jump out of that godawful situation... it's the most beautiful moments you could ever hope to experience.
Then after the torrential blues you stop and take a breath and you blow bubbles all around you to shield yourself and the watery bubbles and prisms reflect all of these beautiful rainbows. -sighs-
Speaking of bubbles I got a fish as a gift from my parents for getting 4 academic awards for french, history, english, and art!
He's a betta. I really think they're beautiful and I don't know why but I feel a special kinship towards them. I think they reflect my personality a lot.
I mean they're beautiful for one, and they come in vibrant colors. I think certain of my aspects are nice and I think of myself as a pretty vibrant person. And they're tough as nails and will kick you're ass if you stick your fingers into their water and they'll jump up to get ya if you hover your finger over their pond. xDDDDD
They're essentially pirranahs in drag. ^.^
So yessum yesterday I went to the Albany Aquarium and purchased my little finned-friend. I've had two red bettas in the past and so I thought it was time for a change. They're kept in the back of the store for obvious reasons so the employee asked me what color I wanted and I said something a bit dark. She brought out a deep red betta and this indigo blue betta with hints of purple and red and a specked veil-tail and I feel in love with the blue one immediately.
So I bought him a blue 2.5 gallon tank to make his home and I named him Jimbleu ^^. Aka Jimmy Bleu, or Jimmy, or just Bleu. Any combo of those is fine. lmao
But one of the best parts is that the rocks that are at the bottom his aquarium aren't those shitty pieces of dyed plastic gravel you buy at the store.
I have semi-precious stones! ^^ Beautiful clear crystals, fools gold, topaz, and pink crystals and shiny black onyx ones straight from the forbidden Sea of Cortez! I bet they're worth /a lot/ of money
The'yre amazing and they hold special value because they're from my grandmother... ^.^
And the most awesome thing is that I have a really big pointy crystal in there and Jimbleu lieks resting on top of it liek a little fishy butterfly. But my personal favorite thing about him is that he blows bubbles!!!! They just float all along the edge of his tank and it look so purdy...
Okay I'm insane stfu
oh btw GAY MARRIAGE IS LEGAL! -squee-

]]> ~emoxjello http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/18172333/ http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/18172333/ Sun, 04 May 2008 21:18:09 PDT BUT HOLY SHIT... the theaters ferseriously need to turn up the air conditioning cause Robert Downey Jr. is /smoking/ hot in that movie.
And Pott/Stark make the absolutely cutest couple ever!
Omg I just wanted to snuggle them both and go awwww!!!!
so yessum. GO NOW!
And I think I'm only two more view from a thousand! nice big round number! ^^
teehee. popularity can bite my ass but that's liek the most amount of zeros I've had cause I'm a zero so zeros suit me! ^^
oh oh and oh! wait I forgot... no i remembered! dooooooood... I get all emotional with robots... I don't know why but I really feel for them.
I think I'm secretly a cyborg.... 'cept I'm really squishy but whatever.
Robots being pained makes me cry...
<3333 robots forever.

]]> ~emoxjello http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/17946577/ http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/17946577/ Sun, 20 Apr 2008 15:14:29 PDT
How does the world see you?
Something in the way - Nirvana ( ;.; gawsh...)

Will I have a happy life?
Minority - Greenday (well Mexicans used to be a minority...)

What do my friends really think of me?
Safe and Sound - Chris Cornell (^.^ thanks guys)

Do people secretly lust after me?
Life in a Glass House - Radiohead (xDDDD )

How can I make myself happy?
No One Left - The Nightwatchman (... I can make myself happy if... I kill everyone? ^^)

What should I do with my life?
Hard To Be Vain - Vains of Jenna (okay, I'll be humble I swear!)

Will I ever have children?
White Light - Gorillaz (... right...)

What is some good advice for me?
Outsiders - Franz Ferdinand (-cough cough- )

How will I be remembered?
The Matador - Johnny Cash (awwwn... but I'm a vegetarian! ;.; )

What is my signature dancing song?
It's My Life - No Doubt (LMAO)

What do I think my current theme song is?
Love you like I do - HIM (I LOVE YOU!)

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
Medication - Queens of the Stoneage (Geez... that's harsh. I don't need drugs! I'm not that crazy yet!)

What song will play at my funeral?
Set it Off - Vains of Jenna (... o.o cool)

What type of men/women do you like?
Dum Diddly - The Black Eyed Peas (I liek 'em retarded! xP)

What is my day going to be like?
Fortune Faded - Red Hot Chili Peppers (dammit! >.< )

]]> ~emoxjello http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/17888260/ http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/17888260/ Wed, 16 Apr 2008 21:18:08 PDT Life has taken a turn for the worst and I feel like crawing into a little cave and staying there for an eternity.
Grendel's mother in the beowulf movie style... but not horny.
God. I don't think it's good for people to get over 6 injections in one day. Both in the mouth and then both arms.....
If I die in the middle of the night, you'll know why... fucking o.d on drugs that are apprently good for you according to the doctors.
I fucking hate doctors... and hospitals... and I cried for about two hours after I got home. Not straight... on and off.
I hate them, I hate them, I hate them... I can't breathe, major panic attack.
Fucking hell... my blood pressure was high... I wonder why? Do you know why?
Now the doctor wants to see me again and I demanded he take it again and I tried to calm my mind, I tried to bring feeling back into my numb fingers, I tried to will my clammy face and fridgid limbs come back to life and get the blood flowing normally without all of the adrenaline my heart was pumping insanely fast throughout my body.
Fucking hell it didn't work either.
Stupid mind over matter didn't freakin work.
Y'know what's worse? Usually when something bad happens I can get over it after a while, realize it's okay and move on. But I can't in this situation. I'm effing stuck. It sucked all of the energy out of me. I feel sick, I feel like going to sleep and never waking up. I want this feeling to go away.
I know it's really stupid but I can't help it. It actually makes me feel even worse knowing that it is stupid cause now I feel like a dumbass idiot who is completely worthless.
I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I /hate/ this.
I'm going to go to bed and I'm gonna die a little tonight.
kthnxbai

]]> ~emoxjello http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/17820914/ http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/17820914/ Sat, 12 Apr 2008 20:18:49 PDT CUDDLEFISH!!! o0;:: -evil giggle-
Right-o. Here is Mr. Todd
Sweeney: -sulk sulk sulk-
:: heh heh -pushes Sweeney away- Nevermind that!
Dooooood vegan restaurants are hXc to teh maxxxxxxx!!! xDDD xxx
I'm gonna go watch pr0n now! bai bai!

IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?
So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes), or your iPod
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool...
7. When you're finished tag some other people to do it!

Opening Credits:
"One Man Revolution" - The Nightwatchman (Wow, that's great! This movie is gonna be hxc! Kinda liek.... V for Vendetta!)

Waking Up:
"Amazed" - The Offsrping (I have the tendancy to be amazed in the morning, since the sun is FUCKING BLINDING MY EYEBALLS!)

First Day At School:
"On My Own" - Three Days Grace ( ;.; I have no friends... -sniffs-)

Falling In Love:
"Kids with Guns" - Gorillaz (When he breaks my heart I'm gonna shoot the bastard! xDDDD)

Fight Song:
"Spanish Bombs" - The Clash (-evil grin- technically, bringing in huge weapons isn't cheating... xP)

Breaking Up:
"Ms. Jackson" - Outkast (... that's right, when I break up with my man I'm gonna turn lesbian. 'specially for Mawa! xDDDDD I wubb jo0 )

Prom:
"Sloppy Love Jingle, Pt. 2" - The Gym Class Heroes (... that song has no music innit... o0;:: )

Life:
"Gotta Love It" -Aerosmith (even though it's a bitch, life is a pretty whore you keep paying more and more for even if she's got crabs.)

Mental Breakdown:
"Le Saboteur" - Turbonegro (stoopid ebil life saboteurs!!! I hate you!)

Driving
"City of New Orleans" - Johnny Cash (woo roadtrip to Mardi Gras, Viva La Bam style!)

Flashback:
"Season" - The Academy Is (... -punches emo song-)

Getting back together:
"Hey Ya" - Outkast (damn right bitch! Shake it like a poloroid picture!!!)

Wedding:
"Salt in Our Wounds" - HIM (xPPP Marriage can suck my balls!)

Birth of Child:
"Luxurious" - Gwen Stefani (... I don't see how having a baby is luxurious....)

Final Battle:
"Los Angeles is Burning" - Bad Religion (this battle is sooooo epic!!! we destroyed a fucking city!)

End Credits:
"Again" - HIM (xDDD YAY FOR SEQUELS!)

]]> ~emoxjello http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/17788057/ http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/17788057/ Thu, 10 Apr 2008 22:35:30 PDT So basically, there was liek no hope of survival for my gentle and juvenile artistic spirit.
Essentially, I was completely fucked for tomorrow because it's the end of the grading period AND I needed to turn in two more pieces.
Basically I just tucked my cock under and gritted my teeth and got through the agonizing second to last piece. It looks like complete shit, kinda like donkey shit that's been trampled on by a herd of retarded sea monkeys that vomit every two seconds, and the herd is being followed by old women who's vaginas sag and contain crabs and dysentry all over the shit and vomit.
I'll put it up eventually and it will immediatly induce seizures of agony from the shittiness of it all. But fuck it, I've redone it 3 times and I'm not about to do it again.
I sound kinda miserable but really i'm insanely happy because today I got inspiration from The White Quail, a short story by John Steinbeck who is one of the most amazing writers of all time.
But anyway, I was gonna draw XxJakOxX again, righ'? When I was liek: omg, why don't I draw quails with her?
Cause liek I have a bird/feather thing going righ'? Righ'! So then i got piccies of quails and they are so fucking damn cuntfaced assfucking cocksucking cumsquirting kawaii it's amazing! And then I was liek... omg why don't I fuckin' put a racoon skull in there just for good measure?! So I did.
Essentially XxJakOxX has this 'David by Michelangelo' thing going on where if you look at half of her face she looks liek she's gonna kill you, righ'? And then if you cover the half then she looks utterly terrified! It's amazing!!!!!
So now there is XxJakOxX on the ground, shirveled and alone, with a quail looking out at the audience just liek her on her back and a racoon skull with a quail on top of it too also looking out at the audience.
And this is liek my favorite-est thing I've /ever/ done, liek literally! There is sooo much hidden symbolism, my inking has become magnificent! It's just flatout assfucking amazing.
Kthnxbai!

]]> ~emoxjello http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/17752629/ http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/17752629/ Tue, 08 Apr 2008 17:59:03 PDT AND I'M GOING TO MYV MYV'S CONCERT ON MAY 18th!!!!!!!!!! FUCK YES LIFE IS GOOD!
Only not because AP art is murdering me, I have to do two more pieces by the end of this week and my creative train crashed into a wall of death with drawing impairing mines.
On top of it all I have a math test monday, a history test and research paper due friday, a french test on friday, and a scriptures quiz on friday as well.

But life is too good to pull me down, and I'm way to be slowed down.
Because I know no matter what happens, nothing can destroy me.
xP
I'll keep floating on okay, it's not like any of this can kill me.
It may be a bitch, but I'll get through it!

Comming up:

Hopefully more Nameless installements and pictures. He isn't so much nameless anymore either, his name is probably going to be Shaddai or Eloheim.
Because he's the messiah and he's Jesus. His cousin's name is John Baptiste aka John the Baptist and I haven't finished counting his amount of piercings yet. xP


I hope you have big fun!

]]> ~emoxjello http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/17642650/ http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/17642650/ Tue, 01 Apr 2008 21:26:30 PDT MIYAVI... YES THE REAL FUCKING MIYAVI is coming to San Francisco.... -sigh- It's funny how life plays with you like that.... telling you something amazing is happening and then life says: Oh, btw you can't go.
-dies- MIYAVIIIII! MY MYVMYV! god... this sucks balls.
Essentially I'm trying to figure out how I can get my hair to look jrock, yeah I know it's like fucking otaku and what not but whatever fuck it. I don't care, I like it so suck my clit m'kay?
Anyway... and like something just made me type jrock and I clicked on the first link and tadaa on the first damn page: Miyavi's world tour stopping in SF.
So I was liek omg omg! yaaay! Then it turns out the show is gonna be in May and I'm like yaaay then I find out the tix went on sale on the 23... aka AGES AGO.... And I'm liek damn so I click on Slim's tix righ? And there are none apparently and life still dares to tease me with hope saying: that doesn't mean they're sold out go to tickets.com. So I do and tickets.com says they have none so I go back to slim's and they're like: oh btw if tickets.com doesn't have any then that means it's sold out.
And then my world shatters and I'm like nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!
Cause its fucking myv... he doesn't come around every day to the us to my hometown to preform! please karma! function for me! please you haven't failed me I'l fucking finish my hw tonight if I have to! please get me a damn ticket! -sigh-

]]> ~emoxjello http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/17546545/ http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/17546545/ Thu, 27 Mar 2008 18:18:46 PDT And I <333 j00 forevers XxJakOxX and I really wanna try teh meme! lawls so here it is...
oh and ps. I fucking missed the 666 and now I'm depressed.... damn.... fucking hell.

RULES:
1. Put Your iTunes, Windows Media Player, ETC on Shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Put any comments in brackets after the song name.
5.Put this on your journal.


1.If someone says, "Is this okay?" You say?
Basement - Puddle of Mudd
(uhm... that's dirrrty so I suppose it's okay! ^^)


2.How would you describe yourself?
Kiss and Control - A.F.I
(that's right I can kiss the shit outta ya and still be able to control myself from raping you!)

3.What do you like in a guy?
Pinch Roller - Kasabian
(kinky! ;3 )

4.How do you feel today?
Amnesia - The Vines
(that's actually my usual state of being... I can never remember shit)


5.What is your life's purpose?
Getting Through to Her - 311
(Am I a secret lesbian? xDDD)

6.What is your motto?
Drenched in Blood - Turbonegro
(-evil psychomurderer sweeney laugh- o0;:: -eyetwitch-)

7.What do your friends think of you?
Porcelain - Red Hot Chili Peppers
(apparently I'm fragile while being shipped and expensive)

8.What do you think of your parents?
Redundant - Green Day
(xDDDDDDDDDDD ain't that the truth?)

9.What do you think about very often?
Novacane - Beck
(I'm not a druggie... >.> -cough-)

10.What is 2 + 2?
All Apologies - Nirvana
(apparently my itunes doesn't know the answer to the question so it feels the need to apologize)


11.What do you think of your best friend?
Zee Deveel - Incubus
(they are the devil and incredibly ebil! -twisted smile-)

12.What do you think of the person you like?
Bleed Well - HIM
(uhm... they're on their period?)

13.What is your life story?
Noesis - Gackt
(wtf does that mean?)

14.What do you want to be when you grow up?
A Beautiful Lie - 30 Seconds to Mars
(That's right. The cake is a lie. And I am also a lie.)

15.What do you think of when you see the person you like?
Sunday Morning - No Doubt
(that's dirty too... xDDD I'm gonna bang 'em till sunday morning! and not go to church afterwards either! suck it!)


16.What will you dance to at your wedding?
Starman - David Bowie
(lol aliens will also be invited)

17.What will they play at your funeral?
I'm So Happy - Janne Da Arc
( ;.; apparently nobody loved me... waaaaaaaah!)

18.What is your hobby/interest?
Play Me - Korn
(xDDD sex me up baby!)

19.What is your biggest fear?
More Than Love - Los Lonely Boys
(;.; how sad.... this is getting depressing.)

20.What is your biggest secret?
The Unknown Soldier - The Doors
(Yeah i'm actually an iraq veteran.... sorry guys)

21.What do you think of your friends?
Won't Go Home Without You - Maroon 5
(awww see? I totalyl love you guys!)

22.What will you post this as?
Don't Phunk With My Heart - Black Eyed Peas
(... sure...)

]]> ~emoxjello http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/17518549/ http://emoxjello.deviantart.com/journal/17518549/ Tue, 25 Mar 2008 23:37:16 PDT Right-o, my sock is upside down and I think I've been wearing upside down all day, it isn't inside out btw it's liek literally upsidedown.
Upside down.... the upside is down huh interesting so liek the top side that is supposed to be on top is down, m'kay I get it but it's still too confusing. It's like a million more cuddlefishes complicated than it should be. I mean ferserials. No Country For Old Men is like a rubickscube compared to this shit.
Oh yeah I can't sleep. That's why I'm writing this, but I'm not on the insanity side yet... I hope... actually no I am but wahver shut the fuck up.
I have to type like a million page outline for AP bio, well admittance into AP bio... fine so it isn't a million but like here i'll type the page numbers: 1106-1135 by next friday. All on top of a history essay on the Mexican Revolution AND the worst of it all: I have to crank out 2 more AP art pieces one of which is being made with my worst enemy (acrylics) yep I feel fucked.
Then tomorrow I have to go pay a visit to the dentist and I predict two cavities.
Has anyone noticed that Jussi 69 says activitities when he tries to say activites? activiTITIES! lol horndog
ANYWAY..... life's a bitch but whatever.
Dearest XxJakOxX I think I'm going through withdrawls. lmao but whatever 'nuff said! <---- still doesn't get that and probably will never ever ever ever get it.
I fucking suck at backgrounds and I wanna kill myself. lmao
Actually no... I wanna be sedated dear lord I need to charge my ipod.

Oh and by teh way I'm going insane again... this time it's a different level. I'm not seeing things I'm hearing things... lots of strange things like breathing and swishing noises. And it's scaring the fuck out of me. Tomorrow I'm going to be home alone all day until 3:30 comes and it's dentist time. Buuuuuuuut... I'm scared shitless now of being alone here.... Goddamn. WHY BRAIN WHY?!!!!

Does my laptop have a virus cause it is going SUPER SLOW!! geebuz

]]> ~emoxjello