http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:fakeashollywood&section=today deviantART RSS for by:fakeashollywood en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Thu, 17 Dec 2009 23:21:28 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/27200080/ http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/27200080/ Sun, 13 Sep 2009 21:15:11 PDT
I feel like everything has come full circle. Like maybe, all those fucked-up nights with my fucked-up drug-friends, like maybe it was meant to happen. I can't decide if I'm better or worse for it. Had I not gone to rehab, I wouldn't have the appreciation for life and for people that I do now. Had I not screwed up my life, I wouldn't have had the chance to learn from fixing it. I've never loved my family more. I've never been more stable and self-sufficient.

I guess the only way to truly see growth, is to be able to look back, and feel shame, and see how far you've come.

There are some memories I wish I could erase. Some moments I would take back. Some people say that there is no point to regret. But there is. If I didn't regret something, I didn't learn from it. I regret Paulie. I regret drugs. I regret disowning my true friends and my family. I regret it, because none of those things [drugs, drug-friends] are with me anymore; like a long, drawn-out nightmare, those things passed...but I regret them, like a truly powerful electrical fence that I grabbed, and know never to touch again...I've learned.

I don't think I've ever been more set in sobriety, because I've seen just how low I can fall...

Screwing up my life, everyone asks me, "how bad did you feel. How bad did it suck? How depressed were you?" Here's the truth: I had fun on drugs. At the time, I loved my friends. If I didn't, I would have stopped. If it wasn't fun, I wouldn't be addicted. But heres the other truth. Just like rolling down an enormous grass hill, laughing as I went down, I was left to look up and see how far I'd fallen, how much ground I lost. The trip back up that hill was terrifying. I know now that it's a trip I could only make once. I appreciate my sobriety now. My family. The friends I have.

Some pictures take me back to moments that make my face burn. But not all of them would I take back. Some friends I used to have, they weren't all bad. But I'm better off without them. It's hard.

I write all this because I've been having strange dreams lately. Lots and lots of strange dreams. I think the only reason I liked certain people back then was because they were unattainable. A certain figure keeps haunting me. I wake up, with Zach's arm sloped over my shoulder, feeling as though my heart is taking arms against my better judgement. I fall back asleep feeling traitorous.

I have a great life now. I feel like a lot of the things I've been through have made me bigger, more adult. Smarter. Grateful. Productive and focused.

I lost my virginity to a boy I'll never see again, who disappeared as fast as the wind, and what I wouldn't give to have that back, to be innocent again, and to be whole. I think I lost part of my soul and sanity to that person.

I say all this for reasons I can't exactly describe.

I don't know what love is, but I know what security is. It's a studio apartment in Gladstone, shared between Zach and I. It's being able to be honest with someone. To help eachother instead of hurting one another.

I love him, I think. But I can't explain the dreams either.

I regret a lot, but am thankful for the new appreciation I have for life.

I can't ride roller coasters anymore...my new phobia of danger is that extreme.

]]> ~fakeashollywood http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/20728576/ http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/20728576/ Sun, 28 Sep 2008 17:12:27 PDT I'm no longer a user.
I'm no longer a puppet, either.
I'm a worker,
and a dancer,
and a good friend.
And I'm an employee,
and a recovering addict,
and I'm in need of some friends.

I'm doing yoga,
and Northland,
and ACT Prep classes.

I graduate in December.
College in January.

Shout out to Alarica who's been there through the entire ordeal.

Love you lots.





<3 mollie

]]> ~fakeashollywood http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/18469019/ http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/18469019/ Fri, 23 May 2008 19:24:35 PDT stuff..happened.
i'm kicked out of the rest of the school year.

staying with megan.

call if you know the number.

may be getting a house,
1160 / month.

paulie'll help with rent, and a couple of other people.

tell me if you need to have some fun.

i miss jack and alex.

]]> ~fakeashollywood http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/16083519/ http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/16083519/ Mon, 24 Dec 2007 20:01:16 PST
"so will you scatter my ashes where they won't be found?"

because being without him makes me want to die...









codependency?
maybe.

codependent?
never.

"i am not the one that you should blame"

]]> ~fakeashollywood http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/15739416/ http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/15739416/ Fri, 30 Nov 2007 18:47:37 PST
mindless self indulgence. listen to them.


"yo yo yo yo yo yo i killed the rock rock rock rock then she killed my brain brain brain......"

]]> ~fakeashollywood http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/15307643/ http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/15307643/ Wed, 31 Oct 2007 19:37:08 PDT



Teen Charged With Arson, Seven Roommates Left Homeless Last Edited: Tuesday, 30 Oct 2007, 7:45 PM CDT Created: Tuesday, 30 Oct 2007, 7:22 PM CDT
Carl Bolwing

An 18-year-old Kansas City teen has been charged with arson. Police said he started a house fire that caused 10 young people to run for their lives. The damage wasn't serious but the fire did expose something police said is seriously wrong: kids living without parental supervision.

Eight people were living in the house on Nashua drive. One was 21, four were 18, another was 17, and two were just 16.

Police said it's no wonder something went wrong.

Carl Bolwing, 18, was taken into custody minutes after the midnight fire. Bolwing's girlfriend, 16-year-old Cassandra Rankin, explained her boyfriend's attempt to get people out of his bedroom.

"He was like, 'Baby, I'm sorry I accidentally lit a plate on fire I tried to put it out, I was very angry, I'm sorry it's all my fault," Rankin said.

Where Rankin and her housemates will live now is a question without a good answer.

"I'm mad," 17-year-old Krystle Clark said. "I mean that's my house, I've got no where to go. My family is in Branson and they're not going to let me back in my house."

"Carl is a really good kid, he wouldn't do anything like that on purpose," 18-year-old Courtney Rigsby said. "He's a sweetheart but he doesn't make the brightest choices."

In Missouri, you're legally an adult at the age of 17, but two of the girls living here were just 16. Police said they'll be returned to their parents.

"It's a situation where obviously there's a recipe for disaster there when you've got this many people living in one house without any adult supervision," Capt. Rich Lockhart with KCMO Police said.

"A lot of us had a lot of situations, that we couldn't really control," 18-year-old Paulie Algozzini said. "That kind of brought us here."



any names sound familiar??
i'm gonna cry...i miss everyone so much.

paulie doesn't have his house for 5 months...and i dont know where everyone else is going.

]]> ~fakeashollywood http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/14702076/ http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/14702076/ Wed, 19 Sep 2007 14:14:15 PDT
]]> ~fakeashollywood http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/14437965/ http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/14437965/ Sat, 01 Sep 2007 08:38:25 PDT
Here's what I wrote while I was in the hospital:

It's a trap
A white walled trap that leaves me here
until i say what they want to here
its the beds
the cardboard beds to tell all your secrets

the caffeine and nicotine want me back
i can hear them screaming and tying up my veins

i want freedom
i try
i try to act right
everyone knows me, sees right through me
reads my files and folds me up and shelves me in a room
a safe room, mind you

i'm not a piece of paper
but i am being ripped apart.
i'm a human with no rights and with a voice that screams

they don't like screaming, they might hear you. they grip you tighter.

the help me sleep, i miss being able to see the moon and the stars.
they are constant,
and i certaintly can't wish on my pusle.

eighteen sings to me. i know nothing until then.
please eighteen
enlighten me, and bring me out
of this prison.

they dont like me,
the doctors.
they like my mom.
they nod to her

"poor woman, we'll keep your basketcase."

poor woman nods back.
girl screams.
bad goes to cardboard bed and anticipates a longer stay.

they want to limit me and bore me into submission.
damn them and their color pages and their clinics and their studies.

i can live on air, food, sleep and water,
but in this place i can't breathe-

the wounds are too deep to heal.


----

i was in the hospital a total of nine days, and then i was grounded for two weeks, and i'm in group therapy, and i'm allowed to smoke at home, and i finally got to see paulie again last night, and here's some other stuff i've written about the hospital and other stuff since i've been free:


you can only be told you're a ticking
so many times before you explode
and when you do you prove them right
and they d rug you, d rug crazy
the s have more than you do
and they are control freaks.
you can do everything right and they'll take it away
and you become desperate
might i hand over my future too?
there's only so much i have to give and the hospitals do nothing
try to talk try to talk, to what point and purpose?
they'll have your words too. own them.
and your brain, they need that.
to lay it on a tray and disset it, with knife like restrictions.
i own my thoughts and intentions.

(that was when my mom was trying to make me drop classes, and threatened to do it herself, because i was tired one day, and she says taht me having a hard class load will swing me a manic phase and 'endanger her children' as though i'm not one of them.)

We admonish the d rug gies. They. They officials. Weed is a misdemeaner and pills are a felonly. Lock 'em up. The wasted potential. All it does is sit around so it may as well sit in a cell.
"god, the brains on that g irl." I see things they don't. I feel for the 'criminals'. I h ate freedoms being taken. You can deserve to die but you can also deserve to live a full life- by the laws of mother nature enstated by strength.
Higher thinking is a curse. It formed religions and hopes and dreams and goals. It formed love and h ate and weilded a human heart.
We work. We work for money. We work for money to go to college. We got ot college to get good jobs. We get good jobs to work for money.
When do we make time to live?
And when you do live, you could go to jail. No highs in this world. Just lows.

And for ever cigarette butt that is smashed beneath a shoe a leaf fallls and crumples and dies. Poison cigarette and nourished leaf meet the same fate in the end.


---

everything is green.
in this hospital.
green chairs and green posters
green jello
parents spending their green to keep me from smoking mine.
green smiles from the grinches behind the counters
i want blue
blue waters and blue skies and blue berries.
blue.
i'm sick of red too.
sick of seeing ambulances and watching the kids walk in. red eyes and red veins pulsing hopelessness. stuck with green and seeing red and it is never chrismas.
but i want blue like krystin's eyes.

---

part of me wants my funeral to be small and quiet
my body burned on a mound by a river
my ashes fed to the water
two or three humans might cry over my
or laugh... ]]> ~fakeashollywood http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/13811289/ http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/13811289/ Fri, 20 Jul 2007 16:40:04 PDT
If you guys didn't know, my dad is/was/might be dating a 24 year old; Heide I guess. Supposedly they got engaged...I guess she broke up with him... He was trashed off his ass last night.

You know what? I do nothing that anyone would miss. Seriously, if I died, my house would continue on just the same, worlds of fun would be fine, and the only reason that I'm here is because I'm selfish and I don't feel any desire to leave yet.

I need to be needed.

(Funny...I'm sure most people are worthless too. It's not just me.)

But it's Friday night, and I just got paid...so I'm going to have to cut this short.


Harry Potter Seven tonight. I'm excited. =]

Tell me your predictions or leave me a smile.
Call me if you really want to go overboard.

<3

]]> ~fakeashollywood http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/13811287/ http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/13811287/ Fri, 20 Jul 2007 16:40:00 PDT
If you guys didn't know, my dad is/was/might be dating a 24 year old; Heide I guess. Supposedly they got engaged...I guess she broke up with him... He was trashed off his ass last night.

You know what? I do nothing that anyone would miss. Seriously, if I died, my house would continue on just the same, worlds of fun would be fine, and the only reason that I'm here is because I'm selfish and I don't feel any desire to leave yet.

I need to be needed.

(Funny...I'm sure most people are worthless too. It's not just me.)

But it's Friday night, and I just got paid...so I'm going to have to cut this short.


Harry Potter Seven tonight. I'm excited. =]

Tell me your predictions or leave me a smile.
Call me if you really want to go overboard.

<3

]]> ~fakeashollywood http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/13648142/ http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/13648142/ Sat, 07 Jul 2007 15:16:29 PDT Went tanning this morning. Celcius. It was nice.
Hung out with lots of people yesterday:
Keith, Kevin, Brandon, Jesse, Katie, Krystin, Jake, Landis, Amber, Tim, and Dalton.
It was nice.
Went to breakfast with Lexi this morning.
It was...
nice.

I haven't been to work in three days. "sick."
it's been...
fantastic, actually.

---

Alarica is coming down this weekend.
=]

---

people change too much. takes me by surprise.

-


"There's always that one person

that will always have your heart

You never see it coming cause

you're blinded from the start

Know that you're that one for me,

it's clear for everyone to see

Ooh baby, you will always be my boo"
-usher

---


so my fortune cookie on facebook says:
'love will be found from a past meeting"

tcch..i wish.

]]> ~fakeashollywood http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/13513865/ http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/13513865/ Wed, 27 Jun 2007 15:16:27 PDT
and all of this to pass the time

...

keith is a godsend, but i'll never be his allie.
and to my mother megan doesn't exist.
-
i love smoking. i feel like an indian. tribal. should light a fire in my yard and another under my ass, get a second job.
i wish i was native to anything.
-
seeing my father tonight. nevous. called into work today. called in, slept in, dined in.
-
the knock of a door shakes me, startles me, my brain just rattled.
i keep too many secrets.
my nerves tense up.
-
i can only be around small children for so long before their screaming starts to make my hair stand on end.
-
but life is relative. i can't help but wonder still, it keeps me up at night, if i have a soul. initial answer: no. but one can wish. one can dream. one can't sleep on questions that will never be answered. it's like laying on a needle matress.
-
mohammed, steven, keith, steven, mohammed, sex, lies, lust.
-
and all i can do is listen to music and bite my nails.
it's the honest truth.
-
i want to see my brittany.
i want to see my jessica.
i want to see my katie.
and not only see.
but listen to and laugh with.
-
there is no god, i've accepted that.
but there is me, and there is you, and there is an earth. and i'm more or less stuck here until i get buried. or encarcerated. whichever comes first.
-
ones been in jail.
the other is a coworker.
and the last is perfect.
and i know which i deserve.

.
-
McDonalds is getting old.
I should upgrade to a cheese pizza.
-

call.text whenever
8630349
i'm past all of the "he said she said she wears he listens to she does" bullshit.
-
chiiill.

]]> ~fakeashollywood http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/13383368/ http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/13383368/ Sun, 17 Jun 2007 16:48:32 PDT I'm sorry to say that. But they do.
A vast, vast majority.
In fact, it's almost safe to say that except for like, 10, maybe, I despise females. The whole damn species.

You know what sucks? Having to leave Keiths house, to get in a car with Kayla, Krystin, and Katie.

I love them, but ohmahgosh, all they talk about is makeup, music, and boys.

I was happy on Keiths bed, playing madden, and drinking Coke.

---
So my dad texted me:
"I gave you your phone back and you still can't even talk to me. I remember all the good times and all you remember are the fights. That isn't fair. I love you and i'm proud of you!!"

I replied:
"Our relationship isn't based on whether or not I have a phone and when I made time to talk to you you blew me off to 'get out' aka 'get drunk.' I'm done dealing with your shit. We're too old for the game of what's fair or not, and once you stop basing you're parenting by what you see on TV, we're not going to talk. Happy Fathers Day, Darryl."

Cold as ice...but I'm done with him.

I bought chuck some jeans...60 dollars...

Work tomorrow, perhaps I can chill with Keevie in the morning.

I miss him when I'm not around him, it aches..
His jaws are defined and his hair is a mess, and the holes in his walls are from fights, but I can't stop thinking about him can't stop can't stop and I want Katie to leave because she likes him, and he doesn't like her, and it just won't...stop. I just want to be around him, not even date him, not anything, just be with him. Talk to him.

I'll call him later. See what he's doing.

When Krystin layed on him he gave me this look of "this isn't my fault" and I slid to the other side of the bed and turned up the music, and chilled.

--------------------------------------------

I want a superman.

]]> ~fakeashollywood http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/13360777/ http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/13360777/ Fri, 15 Jun 2007 19:52:00 PDT The boys that are already claimed by someone elses's hearts...The boys my friend's love, the boys my friends talk to...the boys that talk until 5.12am.

we layed out on the Tonka turf,
we looked at our bruises and cuts,
we talked about the sky and people below it,
And laughed about nothing

He lives right by Worlds of Hell.

I've known him since I was 6. I guess we used to spend the night at Krystin's house, he was there 'for her brother;' we would stay up late and play truth or dare.

I don't remember any of that, but I do remember this:

The way he hugged me when he said goodbye, the look in his eyes, and the way my mom described his look: scruffy cute, gentle.

-mollie

]]> ~fakeashollywood http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/13281484/ http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/13281484/ Sat, 09 Jun 2007 18:31:24 PDT That's about the sound track to my summer...

So I've been working alot.
In shop it's pretty much

me
steven
stephen
justin
jeff
trey
vincent


...I open-close all next week (9am morning - 1 am night)
with one day off.

And I still try to keep a social life.

--

joss stone lyrics make my heart sing

"Fell In Love With A Boy"

Fell in love with a boy
I fell in love once and almost completely
He's in love with the world
And sometimes these feelings can be so misleading
He turns and says, "Are you alright?"
Oh, I must be fine cause my heart's still beating
Come and kiss me by the riverside,
Sarah says it's cool, she don't consider it cheating

Oooh ooh ooh [x4]

Red hair with a curl
Mellow roll for the flavor and the eyes were peepin
Can't keep away from the boy
The two sides of my brain need to have a meeting
Can't think of anything to do
My left brain knows all of love is fleeting
He's just lookin for somethin new
I said it once before but it bears repeating

Oooh oooh ooh [x4]

Can't think of anything to do
My left brain knows all of love is fleeting
He's just lookin for somethin new
I said it once before but it bears repeating

Oooh oooh ooh [x4]

Fell in love with a boy
I fell in love once and almost completely
He's in love with the world and sometimes these feelings can be so misleading
He turns and says, "Are you alright?"
Oh, I must be fine cause my heart's still beating
Come and kiss me by the riverside
Sarah says it's cool, she don't consider it cheating, oh

Don't go telling no more
Don't go telling no more
Don't go telling no more lies on Sarah
Don't go telling no more
Don't go telling no more
Don't go telling no more lies on Sarah

Ooooh oooh oooh [x4]

Can't think of anything to do
My left brain knows all of love is fleeting
He's just looking for something new
I said it once before but it bears repeating

Oooh oooh oooh [x4]

Gonna tell you what's on my mind
I'm gonna tell you what's on my mind
Cause it bears repeating




---



I'm curling up in a blanket tonight and sleeping life away, because I need to hide for awhile..



The boys are still paper and the kisses are still sweet.

When my heart bleeds out I'll let ya'll know.

]]> ~fakeashollywood http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/13218352/ http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/13218352/ Mon, 04 Jun 2007 17:23:38 PDT I'm giving up on trying to make her believe that I like her. I've tried everything.
He insists I call him.
He insists we're going to hang out.
Stay friends.
Talk.
Stuff.


I don't trust boys.

They hurt...

But I've stopped crying over them.
I mean, they're all dissappointments.


Top 5 THINGS BOYS SAY::::
<>
1. I love you.
2. I'm falling in love with you.
3. I'll always call you.
4. You're perfect
5. You're beautiful.


What they mean:::
I really want to get laid. I could move on to another girl. You're pretty but she's better. I love your kisses, not you. And I'll call you when I remember to.


I'm so doneee

]]> ~fakeashollywood http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/13175116/ http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/13175116/ Fri, 01 Jun 2007 10:27:01 PDT rode front seat
waltzed around WalMart
vandalized
listened to the entire Akon CD
been a 'tease'
had another crush
been to several parties
practiced self control
had neck kisses *favorite*
cried to My Chemical Romance
lost my shirt
lost my shoes
worried about getting 'caught'
made a boy cry
rocked out to MIB by will smith

=]

]]> ~fakeashollywood http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/13114474/ http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/13114474/ Sun, 27 May 2007 15:49:59 PDT
i have:

.partied
not been able to remember...stuff
had/lost a boyfriend
had a hangover
snuck out
ate exclusively fast food
chugged almost a gallon of water
left the house in non-parental-approved clothes
borrowed money from the rents
stayed out until 6am
gone swimming at 2am
stayed the night at a boys house
danced naked
rocked out hXc to N'SYNC
lost weight
lied
contacted old friends
made new friends
had a crush
smiled until it hurt
laughed until i fell over
vomited. alot.
been in someone else's clothes
watched a Disney movie
recieved a chocolate bar
kissed someone of the opposite sex
kissed someone of the same sex (says krystin. this is debatable. i do not have any recollection of said kiss)
left a hickey
.planned a party
lost my backpack
cleaned a bedroom
been to Canterbury park
done a photoshoot (we're cam-whores)
had HELLA fun.
:]


going out with MeGaN ReNeE tonite.

love.

---









<4-1

]]> ~fakeashollywood http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/12830501/ http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/12830501/ Thu, 03 May 2007 16:48:02 PDT My body stopped working, right in the middle of first hour.
My head felt like a toxic waste land...
Kind of like it was filled with water, but there was a small little electron in there, bouncing around the empty cavern of my skull, burning, sending shockwaves to my arms.
So I went home.
Says my mother to the nurse:

"she keeps up a social schedule that would exhaust the president. She's going home, and going to bed."

So I did. No complaints. Jack screamed at me the entire ride home.
The light in my bedroom made me miss the dark bathroom in the nurses office, where I curled up on the floor and cried, clutching my veins.
They were swelling.

I just woke up.

The day wasn't wasted, on the contrary, I'm learning some very interesting stuff:

The most common name in the world is Mohammed.
The most money ever paid for a cow in an auction was $1.3 million.
The Neanderthal's brain was bigger than yours is.

Why am I so amazed?
I blame the lexipro.

I need to make my body work at it's maximum.

I can't be pulling this shit in college.

But for now?

:]

]]> ~fakeashollywood http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/12757456/ http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/12757456/ Fri, 27 Apr 2007 17:21:20 PDT Thesis:
My escape is in the making and my life is going to change.
I won't be like my parents before me or the generation around me.
I'm going to think for myself and do what I need to.
--
So I haven't been going to school as much as I should--
But my life has been rather stagnant.
Arrogant though I am to believe any will read this--
It's good record keeping, clean up, make down...
I need to redress myself, feel comfortable.
It's hard to always get walked on and over.
Was I always like this?
Megan and Nate, not together.
Abi and Matt, not together.
Mallory and Max, inseperable.
Me and Chris, a few fun phone calls...
I wish that I got to see him more..
If I was more mobile.
If he was more willing.
If?
Fetal pigs pose problems for me.
I can't cut them open...Don't get me wrong, dissections are a breeze.
Just, not institutionalized murder...please?
I feel stuffed with words, maybe that's whats clogging my pores.
Maybe that's the fat that's lumping around my midsection.
Maybe?
I could cry.
I hate being dependent on people for rides.
If I had a car I would disappear in it.
Live in it.
Make it mine.
Curl up at my boyfriends house with no one else around ever and disappear from the world.
My dad says he's on anti depressants.
Could be bullshit, might be true.
Chuck's killing himself to support us and my dad's killing himself to ignore us.
And it's sad that I don't play favorites.
It's sad...
Maybe I am like that counterparts that compose me.
I try not to be.
I wonder what happens after I die?
Do my eyes close?
Does my flesh rot?
It can't be peaceful...just...finatic.
I want roses on my grave...
---
I want deep narcotic eyes with lines that match those on long white fingers, with deep black hair that falls just below my waist.
I want my body to cave into itself.
I want to be happy without anyone around, to feel my breath sponge out from my lungs and exhale... pure air with no pollutions.
I want to splash my face with crystal ice water from a stream far away away away and gone from this place.
And I don't want to take anyone with me.
I want to know the bones in my kneecaps.
I want to see.
--
I think differently than most people.
I'm sure of it.
I'm one human in one house in one city in one state in one country on one planet.
I want to fall away like the full red petal of a flower. I want my fingers to circulate the blood platelets in them.
--
Thesis:
My escape is in the making and my life is going to change.
I won't be like my parents before me or the generation around me.
I'm going to think for myself and do what I need to.

]]> ~fakeashollywood http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/12647003/ http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/12647003/ Wed, 18 Apr 2007 19:29:36 PDT [how much have I changed?]

Religion looks like hopelessness to me. Hopelessness and tradition. Confusion and devotion.
Relgion and faith bury themselves behind the eyes of the white-haired women who pour into their seats every Sunday, arms thrown up and eyes closed, to trap what is hidden behind.
Faith sounds like the pastors voice, grainy, powerful, assured, and feels like the paper dresses, and the paper money in the offering
-the sacrifice. The rows and rows of people, lined up and singing the songs of their ancestors.
The enlightened onces who hold their scriptures and their babes to their chests....with love.

And then the church empties;
I wonder why they sang with such honey-laced voices, only to return outside to the blinding sunlight, to the 'lost souls.'

And when the pressed paper dresses are peeled off and removed, when the fruit-colored hair falls in waves, these spiritual beings return to human form and human nature.

[The scriptures lay forgotten, and the children of the era fall victim to the video games]

This is the natural state of things.



---

Me and Chris are still together.
I'm doing ok...I guess
School's almost out....

I want someone to "hold me high and steal my pain away."

sometimes I wonder if I've grown up to fast...
Other times I wonder if I'm really as expierenced as I like to believe.
Most of the time I search-

pray tell sir, is there anything more to this world?
Boys with moist lips and strong hands can't solve all my problems...most of the time they get distracted, their eyes fall onto something prettier, sweeter, lighter...

And you get dropped.

And it sometimes feels like the bones in your wrists and the veins behind your eyes shatter like glass.

I'm lonely and I can't figure it out, but only half the time.

I've been waking up with strange dreams, with bloods, and knifes, and isolation.

But I'm doing pretty good.

Jack is 9 months old..

Family is good.

Got a message from my dad: "hey girl, haven't heard from you in a while, give me a call sometime"

That was 3 weeks ago....
And I never called him back.

Grades: B-
Food Choices: D+
Clothing: C-
Boyfriend: B+
Internal Thoughts: F
Self-Expression: D
Hygeine: A-
Music: C+
Friends: B+

eh.

]]> ~fakeashollywood http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/12143180/ http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/12143180/ Sun, 11 Mar 2007 11:59:30 PDT for those who didn't know i'm going out with
CHRISTOPHER TODD GUYLES

he goes to tonka.

and i think we're pretty much amazing together...

going shopping, heading out...

but for those who didn't know, i'm doing great.

xoxoxox

-<3 mollie

]]> ~fakeashollywood http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/11685437/ http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/11685437/ Sun, 04 Feb 2007 14:27:28 PST
Tenative Schedule:

AP English and Composition
AP Government
AP Psycology
College Chemistry
Humanities I
Humanities II
German III
Advanced Precalc and Trig.


Do we have any classes together?

Who's going to COURTWARMING??!

I'm pretty psyched.
Hells ya.


Anyways.

Happy Vday if i dont get on here again before then.

<3

]]> ~fakeashollywood http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/11203734/ http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/11203734/ Tue, 26 Dec 2006 17:56:41 PST Brittaney Stracke is in town. And I don't get to see her that much. If my parents had it their way I wouldn't be seeing her at all.
I'm babysitting these kids named Garret and Dyvn (yes that's how it's spelled) day in and day out. 7am-6pm. Making like 200 bucks though.
I'm typing at the LIBRARY on my break.
Only way I can get on the computer.
Still bargaining going to wolfyu's birthday party.
I have a pretty sweet gift for her though so if nothing else I'll probably be able to drop by and give that to her.
Robotics meeting tomorrow.
I'm downing a double shot and waiting for midnight.

Was I always this bad of a kid? Or is it just circumstantial?

I miss eighth grade. Too bad I can't go back.


]]> ~fakeashollywood http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/10982255/ http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/10982255/ Thu, 07 Dec 2006 10:24:00 PST -
Highlight of the week: Jessica calling me Prongs.

]]> ~fakeashollywood http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/10872321/ http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/10872321/ Mon, 27 Nov 2006 19:34:45 PST maybe it's the exercise.

Swim is going good, exhausting though. I'm nearly the worst one on the team, but I feel justified in this because I've only been swimming for two weeks.
Atleast I'll be in shape for soccer?
.
Packing up my room is sad...I've had to rip down all the stuff off my walls and tape it into boxes.. Hopefully my walls at the new house will be painted and I can start moving in this weekend.
There's horses there...And 3 acres...and ponds...and nothingness.
-nothingness.
It's the smallest neighborhood I've ever lived in, and my grandparents lived in that house their whole lives...so it feels weird that I'm going to have the bedroom that my dad had when he was a kid.
Freaky, no?
I'm a little stressed....
.
Jack Jack has his first tooth, and he's been biting me with it quite frequently.
.
AND BECAUSE I'M A COWARD

Brittany--
my intentions were never to hurt you with that comment on your photo..I was just being a dumbass, like I always am. But Adams's comment in response really hurt my feelings, and I'm not so naieve as to believe that you and her didn't come up with the witty retort together. So I'm sorry, and I hope you are too, and I hope that we can get over it.

--ya...
.
I got my ipod back today.
Actually I didnt realize I was missing it...Kyle runs up to me in the halls ("Mollie, I have your ipod!!") I'm all "what, I'm missing it? When did you TAKE IT??" And he just laughs and walks off with Mall. He gave it to me in Robotics though.
Sneaky devil.
.
Doesn't the weather make you just want to curl up with a mug of cocoa and watch the snow drift, watch you're toes turn pink by the fire, feel your eyelids drip? I've been rather tired lately...these things sound fantastic.
Unreal.

]]> ~fakeashollywood http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/10501460/ http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/10501460/ Tue, 24 Oct 2006 19:55:42 PDT funny story as to why.

]]> ~fakeashollywood http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/10275399/ http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/10275399/ Tue, 03 Oct 2006 19:16:42 PDT
GERMAN!
-I really don't like Frau Thomson. She's eccentric, and doesn't teach as much as she talks. Frau Bierrman "pwns" her.

MATH!
-The seating chart changed recently, so I can't copy off of Steppherz anymore. Kiser was laughign about that.

AP!
-HARD. I've been told that I take too many stupid notes...but really, I think I do fine. That class is *ok*

America and the World!
-I wish I could tell you, but I honestly sleep through that class...everyday...almost...right adams? Lol.

"Advanced" Comm Arts
-Ms. Schaeffer is dumb. I know I am smarter than her. And who the hell cares about USAGE PROBLEMS?

Lunch!
-kinda boring. We don't really talk about much, although there is those awesome occassions where I scare Brittany, or steal Mally-J's food without her noticing. She still doesn't know.

Biology!
-MEGAN AND KEVIN! Fun fun fun fun class. Although I nearly passed out today when we all had to spit into the same cup. The teacher made me sit down and tried to send me to teh office because I guess my eyes were drooping like I was drugged, really I was just dizzy because saliva is grooosssssss....

Chemistry!!
-MALLY AND KYLE! Love that class too. Hilarious. The teacher has told me, mally, and kyle to "stop acting like third graders!!" But she's a dyke so no one cares! Lol. J/k..j/p...

Robotics!
-Monday night tradition of sorts = wendy's, between mechanics and programming. Me, Kyle, and Jessi. It's fun. We learn alot, and I get to miss school alot for different college classes.

Serteens!
-I've been looking for some outlet to 'save the world, save humanity, hug trees!' I <3 serteens, it's service to mankind, and is definately worthwhile. *wink wink GO*

Breakfast Club...
-I think I was kicked out inadvertently.

Key Club!
-I get to volunteer at the thrift store, which is where I got my homecoming dress. $6 yo. How ghettotasticallyawesome is that? Anyways, I need to cram in 60 hours of volunteering by the end of the year...so ya.

Scholah Bowl!
-Make fun of me and I'll *kill* you. *says mantra: not. a. -total- dweeb...not. a. total. dweeb...* lol.

HOMIES!
-This year is awesome, I get to hang out with alot of new people, and I think that I'm getting along with alot of my real friends better, even though it's taken time. Things probably won't be how they used to, but that's ok. Sometimes change can be for the better, and even though most people think I screwed up or something, what's done is done, and I'm trying to look on the bright side of things? I think the two major changes to my friends crowd are kyle and megan, I hang out with them alot. And they're awesome, when you get to know them! And I'm talking to Brittany and Anets again, which is AWESOME. I love my marauders. <333 And even though I'm on a "break" with Mikums, I think it's for the better, because he wasn't good for me, and we'll probably get back together later, but not until I'm ready for it, you know? Because I do love him and I know that he loves me, but I can't handle anything too intense, I HAVE to keep my grades up, that's my main priority.

Friday Night Football!
-I love going to the games, even though I honestly can't tell you anything about them that has to do with sports. It's dumb though, because they don't let you leave to go to you're car, unless you want to pay to get back in. Really, really dumb.

Jack!
-That little kid is growing so fast, he's so fat! He's got a fat roll that overlaps his diaper and another one that goes over his wrist. What. a. CHUNK.

Miscellaneous!
-I started a book, and am having such a hard freaking time trying to not base characters off of real people! GAH! It's so hard!!
But I'm getting there.
-I am also writing another fanfiction... la;dkfjal;kj It's addictive. I'll probably post it on here once I get it really started.




In conclusion--
-I <3 you guys. I'm getting better, and I'm h-a-p-p-y.

]]> ~fakeashollywood http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/9979002/ http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/9979002/ Tue, 05 Sep 2006 15:52:23 PDT call me if you want to go to a concert with me.
]]> ~fakeashollywood http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/9934532/ http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/9934532/ Fri, 01 Sep 2006 20:33:42 PDT the letter was sent to my friend amanda's address with "to the parents of mollie moore"-- but i dont even go to that district anymore...
funky? yes.
cool? sorta.
am i going? heck no. lol. me no likey japan.

i went to friday NIGHT FOOTBALL! and it rocked, it was against NKC, and i knew like everyone! <3

<333 ]]> ~fakeashollywood http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/9841034/ http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/9841034/ Thu, 24 Aug 2006 15:46:03 PDT who needs worlds of fun anyways? lol. jk jk..he's going out with callie moore...
alkjdflakjc;lkj wrong moore damnit!
lol.
I was up so late last night with homework, this schedule is kicking my butt.

Alex has his first loose tooth! It's cute...

Kinda makes me sick to my stomach a little bit though.

Why is Kyle obsessed with his nipples? Today he comes up to me "Mollie, I can see my nipples through my shirt!" and i'm all "....ok?"

It was weird.

Whelp, now I'm dancing, and i'm going to call krystin-my-love.

<3 ]]> ~fakeashollywood http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/9818232/ http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/9818232/ Tue, 22 Aug 2006 16:31:21 PDT I'm sick.
Can't really breath very well...and i just woke up an hour ago. Been asleep for like 24 hours.
The only part of high school i like is like, lunch. lol
lunch with lumps, katie, megan, kyle, chris, brittany, brittany, kari...and others, lol.
me and lumps were goign to sit iwth chris and kyle the other day, but their table already had 9438732458o7983475 people at it. So we sat with megan and brittany instead.
I saw kyle and was all "hi KYLES NOT GAY" and he turnsa round all "I'M NOT GAY!" it was great.
And he still has a big bump on his head, from me throwing chalk at him (long story)
but that's pretty fun.
Krystin's going on a date thing with john anthony on friday...i think.

long story behind that one too.
wellph.. i'm kind of dizzy.
and bored.
not fun.
]]> ~fakeashollywood http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/9516445/ http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/9516445/ Thu, 27 Jul 2006 21:37:50 PDT In other news.
All's going pretty good.
I love life.
I truly, truly do.
I was playing DDR today, at Pizza Street (lame, I know, shutup) and this guy hopped on next to me. And I was all "your dance pad isn't on" and he goes "I'm totally ON!" and starts flailing around. It was amazin.
Heh...and then he told me I was "on" as in "hott" and Chuck was all "Mollie, it's time to go home now..."
And I finally told my mom about my work escapades. Guess she figured me out? And she goes "tongue?" me: "lots" mom: "congrats."
It was so funny.
I kinda love my life, mhmmm...
I feel like I live at Worlds of Fun though.
I wish I did.
I feel alive when I'm around the people there.
Love you sincerely,
Miss me dearly
--molliw ]]> ~fakeashollywood http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/9451382/ http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/9451382/ Fri, 21 Jul 2006 18:45:40 PDT life's been going pretty sweet, I got a new cell phone because i totaled my old one.
And uh...ya?
New songs for the ipods, lots of hugs and kisses all around
life rox, summer sux.
i miss school.
anyways.
zoe wants to get on.
still no word on me having internet acess.
so, tata for now.
<2 ]]> ~fakeashollywood http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/9375382/ http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/9375382/ Fri, 14 Jul 2006 12:25:40 PDT not much to update.
lotsofpeoplearemadatme.
actuallyonly one.
guess who, much?
lol.
ahwelllll.
<3 ]]> ~fakeashollywood http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/9286374/ http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/9286374/ Wed, 05 Jul 2006 21:36:29 PDT he came last night at 3:30 in the morning while i was at lumpys. awkward timing. I got a text message from my brother telling me to call him and i was like "oh shit."
so my moms still in the hospital and will be until friday, so i'm at anets's until then. She wants me to stay in one place so that she can get ahold of me if she needs to. And besides, she knows that i'm welcome at anets's anytime.
in other news...
michael drove me up to the hospital to see the baby today. so small. 6lbs 10 oz. It felt like i was holding air in a blanket. very weird. and it's skin was so...so...wrinkly? ya. that's...thats the word. such long fingernails too. beautiful. not a single birthmark, blemish..scar...nothing.
anyways.
i called in to work today, and they are still taking points on to my record for calling in. so i have to go into work tomorrow so that i dont loose my job.
worlds of fun is just so cool like that to their employees.
gotsta go.
<3 ]]> ~fakeashollywood http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/9183063/ http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/9183063/ Sun, 25 Jun 2006 21:12:43 PDT this isn't a poem, its a journal entry, dont be confused....

we started out in summer time, you took half your heart and my ribcage.
and press the button on the blender. as our substance spun round and round
i picked up the mixture and spooned us down. the blood on the countertop, well...it went to waste. and i'm still thirsty. neither complete
nor satisfied...
my heart died teh day you surrenderedyours.
and we lost the recipe. blood, bone and body
on the tastebuds of my tongue...
we used eachother and theres nothing left to show for it ]]> ~fakeashollywood http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/9156464/ http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/9156464/ Fri, 23 Jun 2006 07:10:27 PDT i'm lookign uber forward to it.
i hope i get put on cart today.
`mollie ]]> ~fakeashollywood http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/9152616/ http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/9152616/ Thu, 22 Jun 2006 20:31:21 PDT [link]
lots of pics of me up right now. ]]> ~fakeashollywood http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/9126286/ http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/9126286/ Tue, 20 Jun 2006 14:33:42 PDT
Mood: confused
Listening to: lying is the most fun a girl can have...
Reading: pshh..who has time to read?
Watching: movies are layme!

I was out at lunch with my uncle today and my chest started hurting, i couldn't feel my left arm, it was tingling, and burning, and then it just felt like it dissappeared. I started crying,a nd he took me home...and my chest feels like I swallowed chlorine under water, I can't lay down or get air...and my head just feels stuck...and I'm going to the doctor, because online it says that my symptoms are similar to an acute heart attack, or this odd coronary disease...

and i'm scared, because i'm too damn young for this.

and if any of you talk to breeanna, tell her i'm really sorry, i tried to get ahold of her, but i can't go to worlds of fun today...

i'm getting raedy to go to the doctors/hospital

this wont be fun.

---
just got back from the doctors

inflamation and swelling, heart scans looked ok, lungs ok...got an EKR or whatever, and i've never been felt up by so many doctors in my life. they had to put these little appendage things on me--still short of breath, stress related, etc...
muscle tension and strain, the works.

but i'm down 11lbs, which is sweet. i forgot i would have to get weighted there.

so ya, pretty worried.
the numbness in my arm was due to lack of oxygen, short breathing.

i'm ok.

anyone want to go to the movies? i have yet to see the da vinci code...

<4

5 days until mikey gets back. ]]> ~fakeashollywood http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/9118118/ http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/9118118/ Mon, 19 Jun 2006 17:20:28 PDT
Mood: flirtacious
Listening to: lying is the most fun a girl can have...
Reading: pshh..who has time to read?
Watching: movies are layme!

Soooo today I was in shop with Darren, with no lead. No, no, we didn't do anything "naughty," we really just got to hang out and know eachother with out...well...nvm...

Darren: *pours water down Mollie's back*
Me: you jerk!! *is waving shirt trying to dry off*
Darren: jerk? where? you better kick his ass!
Me: *giggles and kicks darren in the side*
Darren: that wasn't my ass!!
Me: *laughs hysterically and falls over*

--

Nathan: what do you do if your dishwasher is broken?
me: fix it...?
nathan: kick her.
me: *smacks nathan in stomach*

--

darren: i wonder what would happen if we fill this latex glove with water and freeze it?
me: lets try!
darren: *fills it with water and makes naughty remarks about the appearance...that i'm not going to put on here*
((four hours later))
me and darren: *pull off latex glove*
darren: well this is interesting. *is holding a hand shaped block of ice*
me: wonder what we could use that for...*devious grin*
darren: wanna find out?

--


i <3 work. I love summer.

6 days until mikey gets back! ]]> ~fakeashollywood http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/9108704/ http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/9108704/ Sun, 18 Jun 2006 19:17:58 PDT
Mood: intersting.
Listening to: lying is the most fun a girl can have...
Reading: pshh..who has time to read?
Watching: movies are layme!

she got caught sneeking phil into her room...*sigh* agaaainnnnnn....
but i'm glad they had fun!! <3

So I got to go skating tonite, it was pretty awesome. I wore this blue tank top and some shorts, a pink belt and my awesome necklace with interchangeable beads.

My dad was a complete ass today, almost had me in tears.

I dropped in on adams, that was fun.

Work tomorrow...and then I'm off tuesday.

ANYONE wanna hang out with me?

smooches and kisses,
xoxox

`mollie

i <3333333333 summer ]]> ~fakeashollywood http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/9094076/ http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/9094076/ Sat, 17 Jun 2006 07:52:46 PDT
Mood: kinda mad...........
Listening to: lying is the most fun a girl can have...
Reading: pshh..who has time to read?
Watching: movies are lame.

You guys know the plans I already have for Sunday! And now he wants me to spend fathers day with him? What kind of holiday is that, anyways? He ignores me the entire year, I have'nt seen him in months, hell, who gives if there is some stupid holiday saying I should give him gifts for no damn reason...it's really dumb. Maybe if he were worth something I could understand...but seriously, now I have to blow off plans with people who actually care to watch my dad sit on his ass with a cigarrette just to prove that his daugter will spend time with him on fathers day.

In other news, I've lost roughly 10 pounds working at WoF. That's probably more than I lost from soccer, how sad is that?? I think it has more to do with eating only one meal a day than it does with the walking though. I never have time to eat on my break, and I easily drink a gallon and a half of water a day. So I pretty much eat breakfast...atleast, that's what I'm trying to do. Yesterday I had some carrot sticks. And a diet coke. So...hopefully, if my stomach will shut up, I'll actually be able to look, you know, desireable, instead of fat and oily. XD

I feel bad and I dont know why, I'm usually pretty peppy. Maybe the looming cloud of seeing my dad? I dont know...I just feel sad. Like someone's taken a knife and raked it from my forehead to my chest.

Maybe I'm just hungry. XP

I'll get over it. I bounce back pretty well.

`mollie.

I don't care if you think I'm a bitch - I probably am. ]]> ~fakeashollywood http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/9085123/ http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/9085123/ Fri, 16 Jun 2006 08:36:44 PDT
I screwed with customers at work as I always do, I got to see some friends, I stayed at Katies.... I threw water by Demetrius and got hit on by my "boss." Made fun of JD to his lead, and walked straight into securitys water bucket thing, knocked it completely over, talking to Darren. I made people dance for water, and was horrified by The Hunchback of Notre Dam. I forgot to shave, yet still cut my leg up...and smacked around my co workers...
I had fun, while still wanting to go home so badly.
I'm at home and I want to be home.
I've had fun...

....but yesteryear was better... ]]> ~fakeashollywood http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/9075322/ http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/9075322/ Thu, 15 Jun 2006 09:34:22 PDT
]]> ~fakeashollywood http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/9039770/ http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/9039770/ Sun, 11 Jun 2006 18:30:19 PDT ~fakeashollywood http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/9012787/ http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/9012787/ Thu, 08 Jun 2006 20:27:47 PDT We went down to her hot tub and pool and hung out for a while, and then just chilled. It was fun. I fell into the hottub and this guy was like "don't make me come rescue you." I laughed so hard. It was fun. Genuine.
I'm going over to Mikey's on Sunday, and he applied for a job at Worlds of Fun, so that's pretty amazing, especially if I work with him and Darren *grins devilishly.*
Darren tried to give me birthday spankings on my bday. It was hilarious. I told him I'd beat him if he tried, and he still did. *shakes head forlornly*
John is coming into town soon, so that's all fun and dandy. My dad said that I could have a friend come a long on the fishing trip, so I think I'll ask Mikey, because it would be too damn hard to choose between my SVJH friends. So...me, mikey, john, and jd at the lake. In tents... fishing. Sounds awesome....

if i throw JD in.



<3

Mollie ]]> ~fakeashollywood http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/8987290/ http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/8987290/ Tue, 06 Jun 2006 10:21:32 PDT I can have my itunes on there and everahthang!
I also got this really really cute halter and an ipod pillow thing.
And lots of money
So...what are you guys getting me?

`mollie ]]> ~fakeashollywood http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/8970859/ http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/8970859/ Sun, 04 Jun 2006 17:21:16 PDT hour 2 - Int Math III
S1 hour 3 - America and the World
S2 hour 3 - Ancient European History
Hour 4 - Advanced Placement World History
Hour 5 - Advanced Communication Arts IIA
Hour 6 - Biology
Hour 7 - Honors Theoretical Chemistry

And I have no classes with anyone thus far.



I spent the whole day at Oceans of Fun with Krystin and Katie (different, not Wolfy) and it sucked. I'm burned, so bad. Since the back of my bathing suit had criss crossed straps and my whole back was burned they started calling me Red-X (insted of fed x, for those who are slow)

~fakeashollywood http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/8948221/ http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/8948221/ Fri, 02 Jun 2006 08:06:34 PDT Then I went back home with Katie, and I'm here now .

We should be going swimmin latah.

<3

`mollie ]]> ~fakeashollywood http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/8931707/ http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/8931707/ Wed, 31 May 2006 15:16:59 PDT
So after watching the first two XMen at Anets's, we went to the movies this morning and watched the third one- "the last stand." I think the original was my favorite, but the third one wasn't that bad.

Shakespeare has me completely obsorbed. I'm reading "The Taming of the Shrew" which is pretty funny, but find myself often flipping through "A Midsummer Night's Dream." The writing style in that one has to be my absolute favorite. He rhymes everything...so perfectly...so...amazingly...

Here's one of my favorite exerpts:

Puck: Now the hungry lion roars,
And the wolf behows the moon;
Whilst the heavy plowman snores,
All with weary task fordone.
Now the wasted brands do glow,
Whilst the screech owl, screeching loud,
Puts the wretch that lies in woe
In remembrance of a shroud.
Now it is the time of night,
That the graves, all gaping wide,
Every one lets forth hsi sprite,
In the churchway paths to glide:
And we fairies, that do run
By the triple Hecate's team,
From the presence of the sun,
Followign darkness like a dream,
Now are frolic. Not a mouse
Shall disturb this hallowed house;
I am sent, with broom, before
To sweep the dust behind the door.


Does that not just make you go, HOLYWOW?
I'm pretty amazed.


It's supposed to storm tonite, and I'm looking forward to it.

<3

Mollie ]]> ~fakeashollywood http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/8912503/ http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/8912503/ Mon, 29 May 2006 14:45:52 PDT
darren >
(except add some stupid uniforms, obnoxious hats, rain, and me getting sent home for, uh...how do we put this...not working?) ]]> ~fakeashollywood http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/8903028/ http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/8903028/ Sun, 28 May 2006 14:56:23 PDT
At the concert, it felt like my brain was being smashed like a hamburger and the juices were draining straight out my nose and throat, blood and other crap.

And then at 11:30pm Krystin springs it on me that some 19 year old guy is picking us up, not her mom. And that she's had sex with this guy and she's known him a month.

So i'm totally freaking out, and nto wanting to get in the car with him, adn mad that my mom will find out and want to kill me... adn the concert is going to end at midngiht, so i don't really ahve much of a choice...

Until 1:30 rolls around and the guy isn't there. There is this pizza guy who keeps checking in on us becuase we are meandering around the parking lot, and the guy, Nick, keeps going, "I'll eb there in ten minutes" over the phone.

So, I did the right thing, for once.

I called my parents.

And went home.

And went to bed.

And skipped work today.

And lost my voice...

And am really sick...

And just woke up.

How was your guys's weekend? ]]> ~fakeashollywood http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/8894971/ http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/8894971/ Sat, 27 May 2006 17:16:14 PDT
Today I went to work and was late, but saw my friend Krystin, and I'm going to a concert with her tonite, from 8-12pm. Work tomorrow, work the next day...
And then, I have a day off.

Today was so funny though because Darron had to keep bringing me ice, because I wasn't in Vittle, I was in this place called "wet your whistle" which is pretty much a box. Only one person works in there at a time, and taht person was me. I kept making people dance for beverages (as well as pay ) You'd be surprised how many old dudes can get their groove on when ice water is on the line in 90 degree weather.

I'm such a pain in the butt.

<33 you guys, but i've got a concert to go to.

`mollie ]]> ~fakeashollywood http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/8875977/ http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/8875977/ Thu, 25 May 2006 16:50:06 PDT
So today it felt like a spatula was pressing my brains further and further to the front of my skull...it hurt.

But we did nothing educational so it got better

Yearbook signing tomorrow, I'm so excited. ;

END OF THE YEAR HOMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <333 ]]> ~fakeashollywood http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/8855405/ http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/8855405/ Tue, 23 May 2006 15:19:06 PDT
German Class
May 23rd, 2006
mood: overal nervousness

For yesterday sucking so bad, today was/is decent. I don't have to take the German final because I have a 100% in the class and I'm going to finish the semester witha 4.0 . Princeton oder Duke, komme hier ich!! Tonite I can work on my room without having to worry about homework. Alarica is staying at my house on Thursday. Can't go to Jordan's party or skating on Friday, but only becaue I'm going to hang out with 'Rica while she is here. Ipod still won't charge, aber ich bin so lala. Ich bin gut... Ich bin gut...

___

I have really started critiquing my work, and I find that one of the areas that I struggle with in writing is alliteration. I'm not good at it. I can't make it work. I need practice at it....does anyone have any ideas? I'm thinking about doing a poem for every letter of the alphabet, to incorporate alliteration into. The whole poem is mainly comprised of words that start with the same sound...I think that sounds like fun. Anyone think it would work, though?


I'm excited for yearbook signing. I'm already working on what I'm going to put into peoples books. And I mean, this year it is important, because you can go through and look back on your high school years...I just, really want to get it right.


I don't know what school is going to be like next year, but here are the top ten things that I am looking forward to.


1. I can drive <333
2. Harder, more challenging schedule
3. School gets out earlier
4. Friends from the other school and/or upper classes (CiCi, Seema, Corrinne, Calvin, Nikki, Sam, etc...)
5. Soccah!
6. I will have $
7. Uh, did I mention that I will be able to drive?
8. Longer SSR
9. Clubs and organizations (I've looked on the school site, here are some of the ones that I want to join: Alliance, Book Club, Breakfast Club, Enviornmental, Exit 16, Scholar Bowl, Serteens, and, get ready for this, student council)
10. Friends. Summer is too long.


Soo...who wants to be my campaign manager for student council I think I could get on....maybah....



<3 ]]> ~fakeashollywood http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/8838525/ http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/8838525/ Sun, 21 May 2006 19:34:11 PDT



In other news,
Alarica is staying at my house on Thursday.



Today was so much fun at work. I have this teensy crush on this kid I work with...




We kept messing with the old guy at Vennicci's. We brought him the wrong lids he asked for...again...and then a few more...and then we returned and he gave us a bottle because he honestly thought we didn't know we were bringing him the wrong size...until we brought him an entire box. !! He was so pissed, it was great... then he kept the wrong lids, and made us take the bottles that didn't fit, and so OUR lead was like, what the hell is going on, while me and darren and anna are laughing our asses off, so she takes him the lids that fit the cups that he just sent back....


And then we played hockey "canadian style" with the brooms and a role of tape.





I'm so productive.






`mollie ]]> ~fakeashollywood http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/8819966/ http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/8819966/ Fri, 19 May 2006 20:05:35 PDT I'm staying at her house tonite, but Bree couldn't come I wanted to see her really bad. I hardly ever get to see her, Anets, Jen, or Livi anymore in school.

We went on a run/park outing, and then ate and painted/messed with caligraphy, and are going to watch chicken little.

The church (PVBC) says that they would sign and send the money if I gathered it, but could not help as far as collecting the money, due to the busy schedules of the missions workers already. I'll take what I can get.

So now, I start planning. ]]> ~fakeashollywood http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/8811078/ http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/8811078/ Thu, 18 May 2006 19:09:33 PDT

In other news, I really want to make a change in society. I don't really know what spawned this, but I do. I want to collect money, and currently, donate it to Africa, and starvation. Hopefull money will also open up options to their government to help the genocide problems. Additionally, I need some sort of sponsor, because you can't exactly go door to door with a box and say "I'm donating money to this charity" because no one will believe you. So you have to have some pamphlet of sorts explaining who the money will go to, where it's being sent...etc...etc...


I'm just sick of feeling like a selfish waste of human flesh. I mean honestly, what am I, any of us, doing, truly doing, to help the human beings who are less fortunate than us, but also on the same planet? It seems cruel that I landed in such amazing circumstances, and I've done nothing. I hate how lazy I've been. How much time I've wasted...


I will do something. I will make a difference. ]]> ~fakeashollywood http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/8787606/ http://fakeashollywood.deviantart.com/journal/8787606/ Tue, 16 May 2006 11:14:46 PDT
actually, I don't really know what this entry is about.

THIS WEEKEND:
I have that daly party thing on Saturday
And work on Sunday

And I'm looking forward to neither. ((To an extent. It will be good to see Daly again though...))

Is it bad to feel intellectually superior to some people? ]]> ~fakeashollywood