~fast-k http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/7290418/ http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/7290418/ Mon, 12 Dec 2005 10:02:24 PST
one thing i'm not dumb enough to do? resell my book to the bookstore. they'll rip you off. i paid like, 100$ for that shit, over probably, i don't remember. they'd most likely give me 12$ for it. shitfaces. ebay all the way, once i get set-up.

don't tell the librarrian what i'm doing. she'll kick me off and be like "omg, people need to like, write papers or something, i don't know, but like, get off" and i'd be like "no way, bitch!" and she'd be like "o, now you fail college!" and i'd be like "o nose!" and it would suck foot. so don't tell her. it's a secret.

i'm very liable to run into glass doors at this point. and my typos are getting worse by the minute. the other night it was "place" into "plays", which makes sense if they're spoken, but not in a chat room. and today i just attempted to write "doors" as "dores". can't tell you why. school is special like that. and ought to be spelled with two "l's". fun fun for everyone.

if i'm not currently making a lot of sense, go read my topic in the forums. supposedly that makes sense. not to me, personally, but i'm all like PMSing and man-hating and shit. or man-hatting. HATS FOR MEN! VOTES FOR WOMEN, STEP IN TIME!

now, i totally swear i'm going to make it home. right after these messages from our sponser.

[insert music from "mary poppins: martyr of brooklin"]

SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL MUSIC!

the disappointments | the cutters | ELFS | elipsis | kulica | nucleus | que la chinga | RBS syndrome | the dean | the delta nationals | the hitch | trash and roll | the ian feys | don haupt | the rubberneckers | winston smith | the collars | and humboldt music.com! ]]> ~fast-k http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/7159011/ http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/7159011/ Sun, 27 Nov 2005 14:18:56 PST yashachan for the subscription! now i can go large thumbnails throughout the holidays!

damn. i had a lot of ideas of what to say in this journal, but they all just kinda disappeared.

o, here's something: anyone (well, a friend), who wants a christmas gift, or like, a solstice gift or something, just ask. i'm going like, super christmas this year. just send me an address and i'll get you something that will make your eyes cross!

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the disappointments | the cutters | ELFS | elipsis | kulica | nucleus | que la chinga | RBS syndrome | the dean | the delta nationals | the hitch | trash and roll | the ian feys | don haupt | the rubberneckers | winston smith | the collars | and humboldt music.com! ]]> ~fast-k http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/7138219/ http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/7138219/ Fri, 25 Nov 2005 03:54:37 PST
now, most of the people in my spanish and english class are real cool, but i hardly know them. i can part ways. but my voice class? i don't want to leave those guys. and their friends. i was getting used to lunches in the caffeteria with friends, with carissa and carrie and clayton and shawn. going to get coffee every tuesday and thursday between music and voice. with robb always making me laugh and not be able to do all the warm-ups. with showing off my little doodles to the people around me, drawing shit, reading shit, sharing shit, singing and listening to my friends sing. i love to sing. but in two weeks? well half of them live in fortuna, a few of them live in eureka, and the rest live in arcata or i don't know where they live. but these are term-friends. i just hope that the next two weeks are just as great as the rest of term. i'll miss this.

here's something: is it right to do something bad to a bad person? you know, steal from a thief, cheat on a liar, kill a rapist? and not like, administer justice as an enforcer of law, but for some selfish reason, and justify it by the fact that they aren't a good person. have any of you ever done it? how did you feel about it? ]]> ~fast-k http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/7085786/ http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/7085786/ Sat, 19 Nov 2005 02:39:08 PST
i took a proverbial dump in scraps. mostly shit i drew last summer. i've decided i'm going to put up more of my traditional art, since i'm not taking many photos lastely. and the ones i want aren't for artisitc purposes. so yeah. and plus, i doodle quite a lot.

duo:

last week robb finally got his song together with chris, and the song performed was "the general" by dispatch. very good. this is why i like voice class, and robb and chris. so i can hear this new shit. although i don't do this excessively, here are some lyrics for it. because i care? i dunno. it's fun. it's got great guitar, too, so if you download, download it. it's kinda anti-war... but not in the like "OMG, BUSH/IRAQ IS BAD!" mmm... yeah.

there was a decorated general with
a heart of gold, that likened him to
all the stories he told
of past battles, won and lost, and
legends of old a seasoned veteran in
his own time

on the battlefield, he gained
respectable fame with many medals
of bravery and stripes to his name
he grew a beard as soon as he could
to cover the scars on his face
and always urged his men on

but on the eve of a great battle
with the infantry in dream
the old general tossed in his sleep
and wrestled with its meaning
he awoke from the night
to tell what he had seen
and walked slowly out of his tent

all the men held tall with their
chests in the air, with courage in
their blood and a fire in their stare
it was a gray morning and they all
wondered how they would fare
till the old general told them to go home
He said
I have seen the others
and I have discovered
that this fight is not worth fighting
and I've seen their mothers
and I will no other
to follow me where I'm going
SO,
take a shower and shine your shoes
you got no time to lose
you are young men you must be living
take a shower and shine your shoes
you got no time to lose
you are young men you must be living
go now you are forgiven

yeah

but the men stood fast with their
guns on their shoulders not knowing
what to do with the contradicting orders
the general said he would do his own
duty but he would extend it no further
the men could go as they pleased

not a man moved, their eyes gazed
straight ahead till one by one they
stepped back and not a word was said
and the old general was left with his
own words echoing in his head
he then prepared to fight

chorus

go now you are forgiven
go now you are forgiven
go now you are forgiven
go

go now you are forgiven
go now you are forgiven
go now you are forgiven
go oh

go now you are forgiven
go now you are forgiven
go now you gotta be, gotta be,gotta be,gotta be, gotta behave

(c) dispatch ]]> ~fast-k http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/7028421/ http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/7028421/ Sat, 12 Nov 2005 15:35:00 PST
last saturday i noticed a bit of pain in my ass, mainly when i was sitting down or getting up. i have had similar pain before, so i thought nothing of it, thinking it would go away within a day or two like it had in the past. on the contrary, the pain intensified over the week, to a point where even taking ibuprofen didn't get rid of it all together. also, i checked out the area (okay, FINE, the "area"? it's at the top of my ass-crack, alright?! and NO, i DIDN'T HAVE ASS SEX! if i had, you people would know, because i'd be like "o, by the by, i had sex with a guy") and it was kinda purple and green, and red around that. also, there was some firming up on some of the muscle tissue.

so thursday i go into the open door clinic (conviently right next door to the office where i work) to have it checked out. the nurse tells me that it's not a bruise, but rather, an infection, and i get a shot of antibiotics, and told to do this compress thing (hot wash cloth on the infected area), as well as perscribed some doxicyclin to take twice daily, and am told to keep up with the ibuprofen. they schedule a follow up appointment for saturday (today) to check on the progress. the shot was uncomfortable, much like a minor bee sting. but asside from that it's not that bad, just uncomfortable taking off my pants in that sterile room and having nurses ask if "anyone's tried to put anything in your butt".

okay, so i go back today, drop my drawers, and have the same nurse look at it, she says it's draining nicely (i have like, yellow puss on my underwear, and HEY i got to start my period too! yay! two things coming out of my ass which i can't control!) but she wants a physician to come and look at it and see if they want to get it drained. so she brings in another lady (thank gods it was only ladies, it's uncomfortable enough having strangers poke in your ass, the only place that makes you twitch), and this lady pokes around and says that yes, they want to give me a shot which is supposed to make it numb, and take a scalpel to thing so they can drain it, then put in some stuff so it won't fill up, and give me some dressing to top it off. this isn't what i expected. you'd think if they were going to do this, they'd do it the first time i come in. nope. and now it's no longer just a staph infection, it's some sort of cist.

what hurt most was definitely the shot. that hurt like a motherfucker. i mean, i've gotten my fair share of shots. plenty of vaccinations and inoculations when i was a little kid (i can still remember exactly what i did and what happened for two out of three of my hep b shots in 5th grade), arm and thigh, i had to be shot in the gums when they took out my wisdom teeth in june, and just thursday there was the one that felt like a sting. i'm no wuss. i can handle pain. i didn't scream, didn't cry, didn't vomit, but you better believe i was sucking in air hard all the time that thing was stuck in me. and you know what? it didn't even completely numb me. i could still feel pressure and heat, although the knife felt more like they were tracing a warm pencil across my skin. but pressing to get the puss out, that still hurt plenty. i spent most of the time focusing on breathing (muffins) and griping the role of butcher paper under the bed/chair i was lying on.

so now i have this large dressing taped to my ass, i still hurt, i got perscribed different antibiotics (stronger ones, although the only difference i can tell is that these are red whereas the others were tourquoise), and i have to come in daily to get my dressing changed. i also can't shower, which really sucks, or ride my bike. i have to miss english on monday, which stinks. chances are this is going to take a week to get out of my system. the whole thing really stinks.

and yeah, the nurses and the physician say "o, you're really brave". brave for what? for not bitching about them doing waht they need to do to make me feel better? i don't want to hurt when i sit down. therefore, i go to the clinic. is that brave? i don't think so. what the hell am i supposed to do about it? the whole thing just really sucks. and no one can tell me WHY i got the cist, or how i can not have the problem again. no sympathy, PLEASE. the last thing i need is for someone to remind me of the festering sore on my ass. although if you mention how your life sucks, i'll probably interupt with a "at least you don't have a staph infection". but yeah, don't be sorry it happened, just help me pass the time until it goes away.

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http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/6845862/ Sun, 23 Oct 2005 13:27:52 PDT
"do you wanna kick it?"
(there is nothing more i would like than to go kick it with you right now) "i'd love to, but i can't."
"you sure?"
(i have to get home so i don't get in deep shit later) "yeah, i've got english homework due tomorrow."

or how about a conversation with a very different sort of person. the sort of person who has lights on the top of their car.

"and how old are you?"
(does it matter?) "17."
"really? because you look much younger."
(and i'm sure that i asked for your opinion.)

i haven't been not home all night for much much longer than i want. and i'd have liked to be not home all night last night, especially with who was giving that invitation. but i guess it's not entirely me. gaura had to drive beau to SF today. he's shipping out. i hope he does okay.

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the disappointments | the cutters | ELFS | elipsis | kulica | nucleus | que la chinga | RBS syndrome | the dean | the delta nationals | the hitch | trash and roll | the ian feys | don haupt | the rubberneckers | winston smith | the collars | and humboldt music.com! ]]> ~fast-k http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/6788416/ http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/6788416/ Mon, 17 Oct 2005 02:32:23 PDT Bluecatdemoness did this for me, so it comes first.

leave a comment here and...
1. i'll respond with something random about you.
2. i'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. i'll pick a flavour of jell-o to wrestle with you in.
4. i'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. i'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. i'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. i'll ask you something that i've always wondered about you.
8. if i do this for you, you must post this on your journal. you MUST. it is written.

alright, on to something completely different. i think it's time for me to spill the truth. here's what i think about everyone on my friend's list who i talk to a lot:

~ashsashsweallfalldow - you have a thing where you need to be dependent on someone all the time. you're real cute and all, but it's heart-breaking to watch you go through relationships all the time because you can't find what you want in them.
~Atrocity-of-life - you're a great poet, but far too bitter. you get stuck on things rather easily. you have a lot of pride, and it gets in the way of being flexible.
`Blue-Six - i have no idea what to think of you. i know what i think of myself when i talk to you. i'm a bitch. i just try to get a reaction out of you. something that tells me that you give a shit about what i have to say. but my ultimate conclusion is that you just think of me as some sad lost little girl who doesn't know shit. and that just makes me angry. even if it's true.
=Bluecatdemoness - you're a real sweetheart. you really got shoved the short end of the stick, and you don't deserve it. sometimes i feel kinda left out though, because i don't know as much about you as everyone else seems to.
~busyuppi - you're also a sweetheart, and wouldn't presume to do anything bad to anyone (besides your siblings). but when you do make me a bit angry i don't know what to do, because i don't want to hurt you, but i don't want you to keep on hurting me.
=chocolate-neko - i really don't think i know much about you. it's probably my fault, but again, i feel kinda left out from all these goings-on and what-not, and have to be filled in about who talks to who because i have no idea. and i think i probably should.
=EmotiVista - you were just delt a very crushing blow, and it's not your fault. but sometimes you need to kinda calm down, you're a bit of a drama queen. like i said to you, it makes the lows so much lower, but it does make the highs so much higher.
~Frostblade - you're like ash, kinda. you need to have someone dependent on you. but in the end you end up more dependent on them than the other way around. you need to learn how to be independent for a bit, try to live with yourself and become happy with who you are, if you're so misserable with yourself. but it seems like you know what you want, just have a hard time of getting it.
~hultsima - you keep on "leaving dA". you get frustrated too easily. you actually aren't that great of an artist, in that beyond the face your proportions get skewed. but i've seen your work improve a hella lot since i met you, so you shouldn't give it up. just don't shy away from the har... ]]> ~fast-k http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/6771188/ http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/6771188/ Sat, 15 Oct 2005 00:31:48 PDT #Caffeinelounge kids have come up with something real stupid... er... fun.

you may now enroll in chat school.

there are two schools, #RealityCheckTech (RULES!) and #ShouldLand High (SUCKS!). the first school is run by myself, and the second is run by zach.

as the principal of RCT, i would like to offer you such benefits of going to my school as an automatic letter grade higher than the average SLHS student, better sports teams (RCT beat SLHS 78:4 in the last game. i mean, you might not be into sports, but that's just pathetic), exchange, and free pie (especially free pie!).

so join the RCT vikings, not the lazy stupid SLHS turtles.

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the disappointments | the cutters | ELFS | elipsis | kulica | nucleus | que la chinga | RBS syndrome | the dean | the delta nationals | the hitch | trash and roll | the ian feys | don haupt | the rubberneckers | winston smith | the collars | and humboldt music.com! ]]> ~fast-k http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/6744650/ http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/6744650/ Wed, 12 Oct 2005 00:56:09 PDT
a good movie sets you up for disappointment when a reality without comforting similarities in the set-up of the heroes journey and a-wash of all depthful colorful players of all different positions stand next to you for the chorus.

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the disappointments | the cutters | ELFS | elipsis | kulica | nucleus | que la chinga | RBS syndrome | the dean | the delta nationals | the hitch | trash and roll | the ian feys | don haupt | the rubberneckers | winston smith | the collars | and humboldt music.com! ]]> ~fast-k http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/6625492/ http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/6625492/ Wed, 28 Sep 2005 13:24:01 PDT magfrump (and you can help out ~busyuppi do it too), ~Lil-Kris06, ~hultsima, the lovely =EmotiVista, and why not someone from #ME? ~Idiot-Ninja, you're on, although i have no idea if you do this sort of nonsense.. hope y'all have fun with this.

as i have an hour to class, i can spend my leisure on this too.

1. i, in fact, have never climbed to the top of a mountain. i got real close, a few miles from the summit of mt. tallac, but i had elevation sickness and it poured down several lakes from the sky.

2. yes. i am 17. yes. i do go to jr. college. woop-de-doo.

3. at 2:00 i will be heading to english class, to maybe, finally use that essay i typed.

4. i'm guy-obsessed. you internet people might not get that very well.

5. i like hats. i used to collect baseball caps, but don't wear them, and instead wear random other hats.

6. i study astrology for fun, because i enjoy symbols.

7. i have three grandmothers, and one grandfather, one of my grandfathers died before i was born, and the other one remarried. but i don't call her grandma.

8. i name various objects. my computer at home is duchess, the other one that i don't use is comit, the cars are gus (black) and lucy (red), my flute is maggie, my guitar is jerry, the other guitar is justin, and my bike is yatzee (although that one i have no idea why).

9. i enjoy nearly all forms of music, that includes rap, pop, and country.

10. i love macgyver.

11. i have failed more classes than you. i don't need a list to confirm it.

12. i have no peircings, nor have i ever. nope, not even ears.

13. i rarely change my sheets. about once every 9 months or so.

14. i have never broken a bone, gotten stitches, sprained, or twisted anything (with the possible exception being my big toe which kinda hurt and didn't like to be moved for about 9 months once, but i never went to the doctor about it). the last time i went to a hospital was when i was born. the last time i went to a clinic was when i had swimmer's ear when i was about 10.

15. i am a half-black in tae so do.

16. i have a wallet chain with 99 aluminum can tabs attatched to it. i have been offered one last tab to make it 100 tabs over 10 times. if i wanted 100, i would have 100.

17. ever since john's death my mom has trouble sleeping. ever since john's death i've been able to regularly get to sleep in under 5 minutes.

18. i have not worn matching socks since 7th grade.

19. i am a musician through and through. i played flute 4 years, tried to learn piano with marginal success, play bits of trumpet and drums, and have been teaching myself guitar for 2 years at the suggestion of one of my camp counselors. however, i have not always been such an avid vocalist. in choir in 6th grade i nearly passed out once, and in 7th grade had more similar problems, culminating with vomiting (although swallowing it) during one performance near the end of the last song, inside the fanciest (well, it was at the time) hotel in the area. contrary to belief at the time, it was not due to nerves. it was due to lack of oxygen due to poor posture, and heat (i have problems in heat). i had no problems performing solo on flute, or on stage for drama (although that was in elementary school, a bit earlier). i took choir back up in 10th grade, with no repeated problems, and have been taking voice for 2 terms, with no repeated problems.

20. i have a strange moral code, by which i will not act (although i've been offered roles before), or shoplift. however, i neither will i rat on my friends, and can somehow enjoy stolen goods, as long as they aren't lifted from local businesses.

you know, just so you don't bug out, your answers don't have to be as long as all that. read =TheArcticBanana's one, or ~Frostblade's, they're more telling. i just have a tendency to ramble on (especially about myself). hence an entire fucking paragraph about how i passed out in 6th and 7th grade. yeah. that's 20 things about me. probably more than that.

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the disappointments | http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/6603638/ Sun, 25 Sep 2005 23:30:09 PDT
doesn't change that i feel rotten, or that i'm going to fail my spanish test tomorrow.

but then again, i can't do anything about it. perhaps that's why i feel so rotten.

SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL MUSIC!

the disappointments | the cutters | ELFS | elipsis | kulica | nucleus | que la chinga | RBS syndrome | the dean | the delta nationals | the hitch | trash and roll | the ian feys | don haupt | the rubberneckers | winston smith | the collars | and humboldt music.com! ]]> ~fast-k http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/6446194/ http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/6446194/ Wed, 07 Sep 2005 22:36:50 PDT
alright, so today i come out of english and just make it on the bus, sitting a few seats behind oliver brink, who's talking with some guy about music. i'm eavesdropping a little, because i hear the guy say something about the disappointments (oliver's band, check out the link in the footer, they're not half bad) playing. he goes off on the dean for a bit (again, check out the link, i'm actually going to a dean show tomorrow night), and about jeremy, and he starts talking about his own band. he's talking about it for a while, and mentions that they're writing a "free ben woods" song.

if i had an uncontrolable syndrome where i shot lasers out of my eyes when my mood abrutly got dark, here's where the bus would get cut in half.

the guy mentions that ben's trial has been delayed three years. do you want to know WHO's doing that or WHY? it's his goddamn mom! the one that's trying to get the best defense for him, and delay the trial AS LONG AS POSSIBLE because it would be incredibly hard for him not to get convicted. finally the trial's coming up in october, i think the first actual hearing is on october 15th. fuck, that's in a month.

i mean, it was bad enough when the shit actually happened. i was staying at my grandma's for a week waking up to my mom's tear stained pillow, and when i went to school i had to put up with all sorts of rumors. of course everyone conviently forgot the day after i told them to shut up, and kept on with the rumors. it died down after a month or so, and then it was only a meerly personal issue at home. why do people INSIST on talking about something that they can get only one side of an issue on? alright, that's unfair, we all do that. how's this for one, why did they INSIST on talking about it right in front of me when i had told them THE DAY BEFORE that it was MY MOM who was dating john, and MY MOM who had found him dead, and it was ME who had known and grown up with john, so that all of their stupid rumors were just that, stupid rumors with no basis in fact AT ALL? is that fair?

fuck them. if i see that guy at the dean show tomorrow night i'm chewing out his liver and scraping his testicles on my toast.

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the disappointments | the cutters | ELFS | elipsis | kulica | nucleus | que la chinga | RBS syndrome | the dean | the delta nationals | the hitch | trash and roll | the ian feys | don haupt | the rubberneckers | winston smith | the collars | and humboldt music.com! ]]> ~fast-k http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/6393409/ http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/6393409/ Fri, 02 Sep 2005 00:52:40 PDT THIS IS THE GOOD STUFF:

first week of school. most excellent. or... well, yeah, sure. i hate the buses. but hey, it's fun to see people i know. it's fun to not be the difinite younger person in all my courses. and voice is going to be fun injected with caffeine with some of my favorite characters from last term back for another season. today we started singing. i introduced myself "hi, i'm jasmine, and i'm going to singing the song that i most consistently belt out in public without warning." and then proceeded...

O, CANADA
OUR HOME AND NATIVE LAND,
TRUE PATRIOT LOVE
IN ALL THY SON'S CO-OMAND!
with glowing hearts we-ee see thee rise
the true north strong and free.
fro-om far and wide, o, canada
we stand on gaurd for thee!
GOD KEEP OUR LAND
GLOR-IUS AND FREE
O, CANADA, WE STAND ON GAURD FOR THEE!
OO, CANADA WE STAND ON GAURD FOR THEEE!

they laughed. they asked if i was from canada. no, just watched the episode of "that 70s show" where they go to canada a bazillion times.

"if ham's canadian bacon, what the hell do you call bacon?"

IGNORE THIS:

alright, when you learn something... new. something potentially big. something that's been going on for a while now. something that could change everything potentially any time. something that, in reality, you can't do anything about. how do you react?

i don't know. i really don't know. i'm trying to sort through this, but it's just hard to sort through my thoughts, when i don't know how i feel about it. i mean, i'm glad i know now, rather than finding out later. and i don't think my reaction if i learned before would be more positive. actually, i'm not that shocked. it kinda makes sense.

no, i'm not going to elaborate on details. why? because that's not how i work. that's not how my family works. well, my dad's side. i guess we accept shit and move on. because there's not much else you can do. ranting and raving is catharthic to a point, but complaining and crying isn't going to make anything more livable. and living is what it's all about. living life to the point where you're enjoying it, every sunrise, every chord, every new experience. because if you are living and not feeling good, why the hell are you living?!

maybe that's why i don't know how i feel about it.

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the disappointments | the cutters | ELFS | elipsis | kulica | nucleus | que la chinga | RBS syndrome | the dean | the delta nationals | the hitch | trash and roll | the ian feys | don haupt | the rubberneckers | winston smith | the collars | and humboldt music.com! ]]> ~fast-k http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/6304649/ http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/6304649/ Tue, 23 Aug 2005 08:16:43 PDT
meanwhile another friend of mine is spending an hour a day practicing writing college admissions essays. he has quite a lot of ambition, and will probably get into one of the most prestigious schools in the country. and others are making their plans based around where their family live.

here's the thing though, the thing that keeps my lying awake: am i ever going to hang out with these people the same way again? i mean, sure it sounds nice to say that we'll be "friends forever", but how many adults do you know that honestly keep in contact consistently with their old friends from high school. and anna is like family. but she's going all the way across the country to williamstown, MA (about an hour away from albany). and her email is registered to myrealbox.com! i mean, half the time when anyone emails her, they get an error back, and later she'll reply anyway. i mean, it's one fucked up service, and we all suffered from it's use when she was away this summer.

i mean, i hope that i keep in contact with these people, but that seriously is my greatest fault, that i'm terrible at keeping in contact with people. i mean, i never kept a penpal for more than two letters (and that on pain of school subjugation to it), and my sister is constantly feeling pains of abandon because i don't email her as often as she does me. i'm struggling with. in fact, after i'm done with this, i'll go and email her. i'm short-sighted, easily distracted and absent minded above pretty much everything. and being aware of it isn't going to help me solve it, no matter how many times you compare it to an alcoholics annonymous meeting.

i mean, you'll be/were probably feeling like this when you're class was entering senior year. and even me, not being a senior, well, that's still some kids i've known since preschool. life journeys, man.

SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL MUSIC!

the disappointments | the cutters | ELFS | elipsis | kulica | nucleus | que la chinga | RBS syndrome | the dean | the delta nationals | the hitch | trash and roll | the ian feys | don haupt | the rubberneckers | winston smith | the collars | and humboldt music.com! ]]> ~fast-k http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/6234129/ http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/6234129/ Mon, 15 Aug 2005 13:01:34 PDT MovieEndings, when i stumbled across one horror that intrigued me, that being "the exorcism of emily rose".

i tend to have eclectic tastes when it comes to pop culture, but i really don't tend to have a taste for horror. but "emily rose" caught my attention, because it was "based on a true story" (keyword there being "based") of an actual exorcism of a college student. see, my taste in horrors is minimal (the last time i was scared during a movie was when i was in 7th grade and saw the silent film version of "nosfuratu"), but that's because the idea of demons, devils, giant creatures, and black and white people crawling out of TVs don't scare me. what scares me during a movie, is the plot of human nature. people going after other people. because that seems much more real. so the idea of "emily rose" did seem kind of scary, i mean, the church going after a girl they thought was possessed. THAT scares me. i would see that.

however, upon viewing the trailer, i see that in no doubt in the plot of this movie, the girl is, indeed, possessed. as i said, i'm not afraid of demons or devils. while the movie might make me jump, it's not going to make me lie awake at night. the movie is less real to me, and therefore less scarey. they definently took the less frightening approach with this; they screwed up. i'll stick to comedies, adventures, and dramas this september.

SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL MUSIC!

the disappointments | the cutters | ELFS | elipsis | kulica | nucleus | que la chinga | RBS syndrome | the dean | the delta nationals | the hitch | trash and roll | the ian feys | don haupt | the rubberneckers | winston smith | the collars | and humboldt music.com! ]]> ~fast-k http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/6212116/ http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/6212116/ Fri, 12 Aug 2005 23:31:25 PDT insaneone has awarded me with a subscription. so tonight is most excellent, there's the "spiderman 2" soundtrack, TNG on TV (the episode where picard has to vacation on risa and ends up digging burried treasure for some greedy -well, that's not descriptive- ferrangis), and here is my shiney new *. if you think this makes me happy enough to buy you lot pizza, well, i just got money from the bank, but i would buy you pizza anyway. hey, there's some of that in the fridge... hmm...

as far as other things go (i just typoed "go" into "guy" *sigh*), i also just got my ticket for bummerfest '05 today. 30 bands in 2 days, for only 15$. i plan on taking quite a sum of money with me to collect albums and other merch. i do know that i want the ian feys album, for they are most excellent, but the only other band there that i know i've seen (although it's possible that i saw one of the others there last year and forget) is caveman (not band, more like dj/rapper), but he's not really my style. i'm looking forward to trash and roll, eureka garbage company, and que la chinga. but that only covers 5 of the 30 bands that i plan on seeing! woo! and this is all the weekend before school starts, it should be most excellent indeed.

so today is definently in the non-non-non-non-non-henious catagory, thanks to `insaneone (check 'em out!) and bummerfest tickets!

SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL MUSIC!

the disappointments | the cutters | ELFS | elipsis | kulica | nucleus | que la chinga | RBS syndrome | the dean | the delta nationals | the hitch | trash and roll | the ian feys | don haupt | the rubberneckers | winston smith | the collars | and humboldt music.com! ]]> ~fast-k http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/6168740/ http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/6168740/ Mon, 08 Aug 2005 12:45:41 PDT national admit you're happy day. since i've already ranted on it twice, i will direct you there so i don't have to write it all out again. i can't be more creative with it.

so here: [link] ]]> ~fast-k http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/6124956/ http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/6124956/ Wed, 03 Aug 2005 17:37:38 PDT
and by now, all the americans (and possibly some others, who knows?) know about the situation with karl rove. or you should. if you need to know, just pick up a copy of an old TIME or newsweek and read. or turn on CNN. the story's just a click away.

the thing is, these situations, in the way they were brought to the public, aren't entirely disimilar. only the focus on them is different.

in the situation with karl rove, the president first presents false information the american people, and that fact is leaked to the public. then the administration makes a few measely excuses. but instead on focusing on the misinformation presented to the public, instead everyone turns on the leak, the source of the information.

in the situation here on devart it went a little different, jark was fired and there was only little information given, and then bits and pieces of the situation were leaked through anonomous sources until the puzzle got more and more whole. well, it still isn't, but there's definently more going around now. and when the administration ($spyed) finally announced the reasons for what was going on, he found himself still under fire. people are trying to get at the truth. some of the information going around probably isn't from reliable sources (although plenty probably is), but the sources aren't called into question so much, it's the administration.

now here's the point: why should theses be even more similar? why can't we, the american people, demand the truth from the administration of our country about why exactly we went to war, and what exactly we knew at that time.

i'm not out-right against the war. i think saddam was a bad guy, and he definently needed to get the boot. but the fact that we used lies, rather than reason, to get over seas really pisses me off. instead of putting karl rove in the hot-seat, we should be putting the president there. this is not a paritsan conflict. it's about the lies and the truth. ]]> ~fast-k http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/5977521/ http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/5977521/ Tue, 19 Jul 2005 12:47:56 PDT color picture of tora and meer.
submit above picture and the bassist picture.
finish nurse picture, scan, and submit.
finish submission for TAB's contest of hats and words
figure out how to do this cafepress thing and start selling
answer all those emails i need to
get final two interviews
get graphics for flash for website
work on website
write a resume
submit resume and applications to local shops
get ready for fall classes
advertise enough to actually get money for trip
renew permit
learn to drive
write more movie reviews and get #movieendings going again
learn to play guitar... better
finish "comupance"
drink
pass out on the couch

do i have to do everything? ]]> ~fast-k http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/5906046/ http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/5906046/ Mon, 11 Jul 2005 16:04:37 PDT
that is, my road-trip. i've been planning on this since i was 12. just not the way that it might hopefully turn out. of course, the road-trip is a long way off. it's always going to be the summer i turn 18, which will be the next one. don't you know it? cool, huh?

okay, so the trip, as thought out so far, will included myself and several other members from #caffeinelounge. we'll start out at the summit (if there is one next summer, which would be most excellent since this time i'll definently go), and travel around the states and canada visiting some people who didn't come on the trip, and just all around having fun and getting to know each other. it'll last all summer, most likely.

so, of course, there's a lot of planning that needs to go into this. first of all, where all we're going to go, and how we're going to get there, and where we're going to stay, but before that where the HELL are we going to get all the money for it?! i'm going to look for sponsership, but i don't know where to start. we will be selling related merchandise on cafepress.com once i get some more stuff together, and of course donations are nice things that you give to cool people like me. i'm shooting for about 20,000$. that's a few thousand per person.

somehow i ended up the unofficial head of the project. probably because i'm willing to do that sort of work. but i must stress that if left to myself, this will fizzle and die. any ideas, suggestions, help, or donations will be greatly appreciated.

]]> ~fast-k http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/5871310/ http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/5871310/ Thu, 07 Jul 2005 20:44:42 PDT
dear poor-excuse-for-religious-fuckheads,

you arrogant assholes today attacked london. now, i may be an american, but anyone can be horrified by the attacks. it seems that you wanted your attack to be in accordance with the G-8 summit in scottland, where many leaders from 1st world powerful countries were meeting to discuss the state of the world. now, tony blair has taken leave of the summit.

do you have any idea what the fuck that was supposed to be about?! the main focus was on fucking africa! people are fucking dying there, and the conditions for living are incredibly poor. 1 in 6 people has fucking AIDS! what? are you saying that you moraless bastards are more important than over a BILLION FUCKING AFRICANS?! you know, for once we were going to take a break from al-fucking-qaeda. it was going to be about global warming, world hunger, alternative fucking fuel sources. now you've gone and made it about the middle east again.

did you know that there are one billion muslims out there? that's a sixth of the population. it's the second largest world religion, behind christianity which encompasses roughly a third of the population. and you and your stupid fucking jihad brothers are only a TINY INSIGNIFICANT percent of all the muslims out there. but you're ruining it for them. they're getting questioned in airports, they're getting dirty looks from strangers while walking the streets, they're getting treated poorly. and it's NOT because people hate muslims. it's because you tiny insignifcant jihadists say that allah and muhammad are your inspirations for doing this, and it makes people question whether they could motivate someone else to do horrible acts.

what? you want people to leave you alone, so you attack them? that's the stupidist fucking idea ever. now it's just going to be more attacks. now it's just going to be worse FOR EVERYONE. thanks a lot assholes. you've achieved something great, turning the world into a shit-hole full of paranoid people who are afraid that they'll get attack for no fucking reason at any given time. what's next? china? india? mexico? canada? let's just try and kill off the 5/6ths of the population that isn't muslim, and when the large percentage of muslims hate you for it, kill them and there'll be only a few hundred people running around disagreeing with each other and blowing each other up. GOOD FUCKING IDEA.

if i ever find you, i'm not afraid of you. i will first box your ears in, then kick the shit out of you. not because i think it's the right thing to do, but maybe if you can't walk you won't be able to get on the bus to blow it up.

i hope you join a jonestown, you arrogant, moraless, fuckwads.

--jASMiNE

]]> ~fast-k http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/5820132/ http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/5820132/ Sat, 02 Jul 2005 11:22:59 PDT
lesson two: i don't know shit from shineola. but that's only because shineola is a 50s floor wax and i wouldn't have any idea what it looked like. it could look like shit, no idea. but my area of expertise tends to be more unpredictable than a random number generator. find me when i'm tired, you'll understand.

lesson three: i tend to feel bad for what i do. a lot. i have a very negative image of myself, actually. it's like... good self-confidence, lousey self-image. don't ask how that works. just know that no matter what you do or say, as my dad has taught me since i was about 3, only i can impact my thoughts and feelings. and you have better stuff to do with your time than bang your head agaisnt a brick wall. i spend far too much time with myself to be influenced by other people's opinions. don't worry, i'll try to keep open minded about things outside of myself, but the world outside is an ever-changing place, so it's necessary.

lesson four: disregaurd all lessons. fuck that. learning sucks. it's summer, we don't have to do that!

]]> ~fast-k http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/5769866/ http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/5769866/ Mon, 27 Jun 2005 08:53:08 PDT
i had a fun time at the lake, and may i say, did a bit of ego-scratching. talked to some of the kids there, of course my poor ego was deflated when kyler told me that on first impression i looked 13. i've gone four fucking years to get out of that age! well, it was a pretty good year. except that halloween. that halloween totally blew. anyhoo, i suck at pool, pretty damn bad. and... i also suck at miniture golf. i can't putt. go figure. i tend to suck at sports. hmm...

it's really cool here, because dad's got all of sierra's art all over the walls. you know, when she called yesterday, it was during the about 15 minute period that dad had left his cell in the car while we went into a fruit stand to get some grub. and of course he was out of his service range. it was good fruit, and we just had to stop, because they had been advertising along the side of the road with a lot of stuff, and some of it just cracked me up. a sign that said "FAST FOOD BAD" was followed, a few hundred feet afterwards with a similar sign proclaiming "FRUIT STAND GOOD". and they were nice cherries.

it looks like i'll be staying for a good three weeks or plus. i'll try to keep up to date with everything that's happening around here, but i don't know how often i'll be around the house and how often i'll be out exploring this beautiful region. let me tell you something that i'm certain of in my future: i'll never live anywhere with sparse trees. i'm a forest type, hell, even driving through sac bothered me because on the hills, the trees are too short. i can't stand it. open spaces get to me, sorry nebraskans.

]]> ~fast-k http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/5715588/ http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/5715588/ Tue, 21 Jun 2005 15:55:11 PDT

and anyone who's interested can get a postcard. just note me your address by thursday night. no later. i don't know how often i'll be online. my dad has an email address, so that's encouraging, but if the connection is at his house it's almost assuredly dial-up.

also, like the new ID? well, thanks for the comments. you're too kind.

]]> ~fast-k http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/5676745/ http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/5676745/ Fri, 17 Jun 2005 12:47:20 PDT
thank you. alright, next topic, i am now officially 17, so yeah. so far all i've gotten was 20$ for my grandpa bob and this sub, but that's good. see, if you knew my friends, perhaps it's better if they don't get me anything. i mean, i cleaned out all the junk from my room, i don't need more.

okay. i think this is pretty much all of it. i'm going to go try and find something to do now.

]]> ~fast-k http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/5661542/ http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/5661542/ Thu, 16 Jun 2005 00:50:32 PDT on being 17:
nancy: don't trust...
scott: men.

i work with great people. they got me this wonderful cake. pink champaign. a thick white frosting, wtih strawberry chunks in the filling... mmm... cake...

sometimes i just get full on what it is to be a gemini. like tonight. i've experienced such a wide range of emotions in just the last few hours. well, i woudln't say wide so much as a large bouquet. yes, a bouquet of emotions.

of course, there was the self-pity that i won't get a bonfire, a party, and people who want to celebrate me with crazy randomness. of course, i still will feel for this, but there's nothing i can do about it. jealousy is natural, and i understand and accept this. and as usual, i put it in a mock rage, which is easier to deal with, although the frustration that no one can seem to remember that i'm also important some-what is real. at least i have a way to get feelings out without making an actual deal out of it.

then, following is the chiding and telling myself that the prior feelings were childish and i should not be so damn selfish and wish things to only be for me. but in this direction lies abosolutely nothing i want to be. i should be allowed to be selfish. sure, starving kids and high birth rates in sub-saharen africa is a terrible thing and their needs are more urgent than mine, but if we're all unhappy, although there are others more unhappy, what does that accomplish? therefore, some selfishness (however, understanding accompanies it very well) is not a bad thing. i want to feel good, what's wrong with that?

then there was the feeling of maturity and age. i often will experience this, as if i'm responsible for the number of people that will talk to me during the day about things that aren't jokes. a sort of motherly feeling. and it's tiring, and draining, but the fact of the matter is that i'm still just a child, and all of these feelings and repsonsibilities are just in my head. i don't have to deal with this, so the liberation of burdens is an option that's always present.

but overall, there's sort of a common thread. i feel compassion. i feel that i want to do good things for people (don't take advantage of this. ) i mean, i think of myself as a hardass, or a joker, but hell, i'm a pushover if you know the right buttons.

on a completely other matter (sorry for this touchy-feely bit, i try to not talk about how i DO care about people if i can help it. i mean, most of the year i'd find it boring.) i'm going to make a new ID soon in celebration of my birthday, 17 on the 17th. i don't know if i'll be around then. although the actual birth took place at 12:40 am, so i may or may not be around tomorrow night at that time. however, if i am i'll be in all my chats. although a happy birthday is nice, a bit of advice (like that in the beginning), or a random piece of thought is more appreciated. other than that, well, i'll take pictures tomorrow, loads. wish pleasant thoughts at my camera, maybe it'll cooperate better then. ]]> ~fast-k http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/5498350/ http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/5498350/ Mon, 30 May 2005 01:09:56 PDT
passed to me by: *Atrocity-of-life

total volume:
802 songs, 3.52 GB, 50 CDs [10 tapes, too]

last CD bought:
honestly, i don't remember. i've been buying tapes lately. and the last tape i bought was "turn it upside down" by the spin doctors

song playing right now:
"sheep go to heaven" -- cake

5 songs i listen to a lot, or that mean a lot to me:
- "the way" -- fastball
- "learning how to smile" -- everclear
- "pinch me" -- the barenaked ladies
- "golden slumbers" -- the beatles
- "real world" -- matchbox 20

5 people i'm passing the baton to:
- ~magfrump
- ~Immortal-Wolf
- =Jael555
- ~MoFizzle
- @Blue-Six ]]> ~fast-k http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/5494914/ http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/5494914/ Sun, 29 May 2005 16:53:06 PDT
alright, so yesterday was the kinetic sculpture race, as evidenced by the... what is it... 9 new photos? yes.

i only went to the kick-off, but that was enough. that's the arcata part. i didn't run into dad, but i guess he didn't make it up here. i would've gone to the bay-crossing this morning but... i didn't feel like leaving the house at 9. fuck that. and the camera is tweeking, it won't turn on unless you hit it twice.

i met up with rob, as mentioned in one of the pictures, and also anna and veronica. then we went to anna's house, watched movies, had a fiesta... bothered colin.

it was a good day. ]]> ~fast-k http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/5408096/ http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/5408096/ Fri, 20 May 2005 01:25:05 PDT
o, you know.

(an open review of "star wars: episode 3, revenge of the sith" will be put up on ~MovieEndings soon. if you would like to add a review to it (the open review), note me with the review, and i'll post it in there ) ]]> ~fast-k http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/5307560/ http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/5307560/ Mon, 09 May 2005 02:07:29 PDT
1. no, i'm not mad anyone but fate. really. promise. i love you, and i hope you're not mad at me for this.
2. please don't repsond and say something reassuring. i will kick your ass. i don't need to hear it, and no matter how much you switch it up, i've already heard it before.
3. i have plenty of self-confidence, you fucking wanker.

alright, now onto the body of the message:

i was born june 17, of the year 1988, the year that "bill and ted's excellent adventure" came out and ronald reagan was president. under the sign of the gemini, during the chinese year of the dragon. this birth of mine happened two years and ten months after the birth of another girl, that girl being sierra rose loucks, my sister, and greatest compainion of my life. i love her, and i would do more for her than anyone i know. she's brilliant and talented, and beautiful, and i miss her, when she's off in moxville or where ever the hell she is.

now, we grew-up as two sisters will. very close, actually, a way that not many sisters are. i remember days of getting run over by mini-jeeps, loosing plastic dinosaurs at the beach, and building mudhouses. made-up animals, brutus the bull, etc. very good times.

there was something special about sierra from the start, she had magnificent hands that could take any sort of writing impliment, put it on paper, and create something incredibly imaginative and beautiful like no one else could. and as she grew, she only got better and better at this. in the fourth grade, she picked up another insturment, a bow this time, and began to saw and fiddle on a violin speedily with a growing skill and talent like only she knew how to develope. then she would take the pen to paper, only this time produce words that fit together and wove logic and fantasy seemlessly. she also grew to be incredibly intelligent and an interesting friend and person to be with, everywhere she went she wrote a new story.

now, i, on the other hand, took a very different route. seeing my sister's success, i took my own pair of crayons and sat in the corner in concentration, doing my best to keep up. thus, the artist you know today, was created. through competitiveness. in the grade of five i recieved a beautiful silver flute from my mother, and began slowly and stumblingly to teach my hands how to treat it. my hands found a keyboard, and began to flow over it, turning letters into words, and words into sentences, and sentences into paragraphs. generally 7 or 8, pages or paragraphs. then a frown would form on my face, and my hands would stop, frustration would set in, and the cursor would stay blinking until i was fortunate enough to forget my problem. i'd leave to go read her stories. or listen to them. while when i went out, i'd watch people, intereact with them with ease, but no one ever felt inclined later to start a conversation with me with "hey, you remember that one time we..."

now, nearly 17 years (give or take about 40 days) later, here i am in arcata, while there, she is moxville, or where ever the hell she is, and i'm the one with the clean bedclothes, and the new shoes, and the health innsurance, and the plan for tomorrow. and it frustrates me. my life doesn't work the way she says life universally can. so i'm stuck, trying to get her to come back, because i miss her, and everyone misses her, and i want to see that she's well, with clean bedclothes, new shoes, and health innsurance, because that's how i know life should work. because that's how i know life. and i'm not injured, i've never been injured, but she has. and i haven't given away anything i can't take back. i've stayed out of trouble, never been arrested, only gotten detention once, never left my neck out anywhere where it can possibly be cut off. and what do i have to show for this? nothing.

my parents say that i've got more common sense. that they worry about me less. that that's something good. but i just want to be better for once. i've tried so hard to be better, but all i've got behind me is hard work that i depise, while she captured all the raw talent that my parents loins contained. my fingers just can't move as fast, with as great an accuracy, and words that come out of me always just stop. i've lived life in her shadow, whether at times that shadow is dark or light. i haven't impacted anyone like she has. i'm not as strong. i'm not as talented. it's as simple as that.

don't give me that "everyone has their own style" bullshit. my style started as faux-sierra style. that was the point. my own competitiveness. and it just drags me down... ]]> ~fast-k http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/5280776/ http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/5280776/ Fri, 06 May 2005 01:31:06 PDT Jael555 too, go figure. i think they may be scouting #caffeinelounge...

anyhoo, so "crash" comes out today, as well as a few other things. hopefully i'll go see it this weekend. because that would be a good thing. don cheadle, sandra bullock, and brendon fraser. and the plot looks good and sound and interesting, with theories and refrences to the isolation in our culture. did i just blow your mind? no? good.

so anyway, today i was in the library and i goes and i makes myselfs a new account ~MovieEndings to help with the chatroom shwaz (#MovieEndings, if you haven't guessed). i'll put the point system back over there, and put up updates about upcoming movies as i learn them, and i'll post some reviews of movies that have just come out. because i like movies. and i'm good at that. i already have up a review of "the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy" up, although i think it's a bit late, as most people who're going to see it will know by now whether or not it's good. but i intend to put up the review for "crash" this weekend, so maybe that'll help? i hope so?

if you're interested in helping me out with the chat, have ideas, or want to write reviews (any reviews, any movie), please contact me, and i'll see what i can do. as it is, hardly anyone comes into the chat (i have had a few visitors, but no one returns ), i'm really working on ideas, and i don't have the money or attention-span to write many reviews. so yeah, help is greatly appreciated, in most forms (although hitting me over the head with a shovel helps the greater good of society, i must make it VERY clear that it's not appreciated).

another thing about the chat, i just would like to thank ~magfrump for being an operator there, the operator there, although it's empty. shananigans encouraged. i wish i had a bigger cast, though, it's only got two people. *hint* *hint* *nudge* *nudge*

]]> ~fast-k http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/5242158/ http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/5242158/ Sun, 01 May 2005 21:03:46 PDT
i'm the creator of two dAmn chats, and i'm in there most nights. well, what are nights here on the west coast. those would be #MovieEndings and #FreeAss. tell me if you want to get into #FreeAss, because i disabled guests from entering. not until i get a good grip of why i made that chat will i allow them in again, i had a bad experience. i got my ass handed to me by me.

lord, i'm really sinking.

i have a few drawings in my sketchbook i plan on scanning sometime soon, but don't wait up for it. and as for photography, my camera got all tweaky on me, so don't expect any of that any time soon. the rain's dying down though, so maybe i'll get to see something interesting again.

that's all for now. ]]> ~fast-k http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/4966350/ http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/4966350/ Fri, 01 Apr 2005 01:40:49 PST
although tahoe freaks me out a bit, being much bigger than arcata and all, it really is a pretty cool place. especially if i could take my bike. i mean dude, those mountain trails! speaking of which, i could probably use the time to learn to drive. i really should've been doing that more throughout this last year, but i'm lazy, and i have a tad of bizarre reasons to be scared, but it's a responsibility i have to take. i do have to grow-up some time.

this would be the longest i've ever been away from home. a sort of break, but also, a step out into the world. i'm so sheltered here. and there are awesome concerts in tahoe, a totally different culture, new people, and new experiences. i hope it works out. plus, i know you guys are tired of all the shit that i post. ha ha. hell, maybe i'll meet some deviants from tahoe. i'm really hoping to get to the bay area some time though, still. yeah, i'll repeat myself over and over until it happens.

a little less than two months left in this semester, and i'm actually looking forward to passing every single class!! this is like, the first time in four years. although with the classes i have, that's easier than making toast. maybe i can take a summer course down in tahoe! dude! i could take a foods class, since the courses down there totally rock for that! i think i'll look into that... i'll of course need to ask mother dearest, but mark can probably come for that time when i'm gone and she wouldn't be lonely. hell, that reminds me, if they do take their next vacation in DC i want to go too. i'll give those damn politicians a taste of arcata! ]]> ~fast-k http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/4767673/ http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/4767673/ Thu, 10 Mar 2005 12:27:41 PST
and guess what? i have a big fucking test tomorrow! and not being in high school any more, it's not like i can make it up. i either take it, or i don't, it looks like i'll be out for a while. not to mention, today i was supposed to go the bank and finally get some cash and deposit my paycheck so that i could go and buy my friend's CD that I have on hold until today.

and i didn't do anything to get me sick! i didn't eat anything unusual or hang out in the gutter or something. but in about 20 minutes i know i'll be letting out the very small contents of my stomach yet again. i fucking hate this.

UPDATE: i feel 96% better, I'm not going to take the test, but I might head over to the bank so I can get the money for caleb's new album. yay! ]]> ~fast-k http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/4652866/ http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/4652866/ Wed, 23 Feb 2005 11:03:41 PST

for the record, it was a hand holding a banana. really.

maybe someday i'll scan and put up all the shit i've been doodling in my sketch book. i got a set of prismacolor pencils so now i can color stuff in without photoshop. what a concept. there's one picture i have to finish, it's of the dreded girl in a revolutionary war style suit. i love those things.

o, and i think i might put up that conversation peice i put on BAM. i'll wait and see if it gets any good critisism first though. grammar... spelling mistakes... AND i'm working on my story finally again. i need to redo chapters 2-4, and edit chapter 5 a little (it just seems contrived right now). maybe you'll finally have to put up with that. ]]> ~fast-k http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/4631051/ http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/4631051/ Sun, 20 Feb 2005 16:57:42 PST
see you people around. ]]> ~fast-k http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/4266937/ http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/4266937/ Sat, 08 Jan 2005 03:21:33 PST
i just, can't do this now. i don't know why. i like it, i really do, but i'm just not doing it. it's part of a cycle. i think it means i have to get a real life. you know, like, a real life. what with the friends and the decent grades and the working and the black belt test. i haven't been to a party in... well, i think it's been less than a year, but not too much less. i used to be the life of the party. and now i have no life. i just sit here on the computer, and i stare at the 200 hundred messages or whatever that i have, and i just don't care anymore. i don't know what happened.

look, this probably isn't forever. i'm just going to stop think that i should check back here. hell, i might even still put up pictures too (don't count on it though), but don't expect me to respond to anything. because as much as i like this place, well, you get it. right?

so, well, after my thread in the forum is finished for the most part, i'm going to leave for well... i wouldn't be surprised if it was most of a year. i hope i'll have friends here when i come back. if i come back. i don't know.

so goodbye, it was nice to meet you all, talk to you all, get to know you all, and the what-not. if you ever are in the tri-city (arcata, eureka and mckinnelyville, CA) area drop me a line. the email there should still reach me. ]]> ~fast-k http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/4182211/ http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/4182211/ Wed, 29 Dec 2004 01:02:33 PST
1st suit - 40s style. coffee brown trenchcoat, coffee brown fedora, silver pocketwatch, shiney black leather loafers, and a coffee and cream pinestripe suit ensamble. for womanizing. i love it.

2nd suit - revolutionary war period style. dark green waistcoat, sienna vest, white poofy thing, cotton shirt, dark brown pants, dark brown stockings, gold pocket watch (or possibly the same silver one), and military issue style black leather boots. i'm not putting on those pathetic things they called dress shoes. for... pleasure i guess. maybe i'll get a tri-cornored hat to go along with it.

anyone know any good up-beat humorous fantasy books or philosophically inclined good sci-fi books? i finished rereading watership down, and now i'm out of stock. i want to get into fantasy,but until i get a chance to go buy one knight only by peter david i don't know what to do. something fairly common that i'll probably be able to find in a used book store.

ADAMS: the eagle is a mejestic bird!
FRANKLIN: the eagle is a scavenger, a thief, and a coward. a symbol for over ten centuries of european mischiff.
ADAMS: the turkey?!
FRANKLIN: the turkey is a truly noble bird! source of sustanence for our original settelers. an incredibly brave fellow who wouldn't flinch to attack an entire regiment of english soldiers, single-handedly! therefore the national bird of america will be-
ADAMS: the eagle!
FRANKLIN & JEFFERSON: the eagle! what? ]]> ~fast-k http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/4084808/ http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/4084808/ Thu, 16 Dec 2004 23:27:47 PST looked at them all!! so i'm finally all caught up. and i'll be keeping a better watch over my account in the future. promise.

the bad news: mozilla has like, software cancor sores or something. or leprosey. because viewing all those deviations, well, things started to get really funky. i think it'll be better if i restart the computer, but still. i thought that IE had problems. woosh. also, i don't have a subbie yet, but i'm finally getting spending money this weekend, and it's a subbie or good christmas gifts, and i have no intention on getting anyone anything serious for christmas.

and, what's on the way?

well, i finally thought of a plot for my story. and you haven't read any of it. i'm going to revamp the beginning, and then continue onwards. there's a part i really have to get to get the plot going, and i thought of the most awesome last line for the story. i don't know exactly how i'll get there though.

i have a christmas story that i'm working on, and hopefully it will be done in time for christmas. and then there's that christmas comic i want to write.

i have another picture of the dreded girl that i'm working on. i'm inking the picture, then i have to scan it in, but i'm not going to color it. not when i have to color flannal. i love flannal though.

soon i will have a desktop picture up. it should be good. it's a pretty accurate description of me.

o, and i have one last thing i'm working on. you know all those crazy mary sue harry potter fanfictions? yeah, well, i got mine. and it's good. trust me. if you liked "camwhoring" you'll like this. and maria liked it. excerpt: "let me tell you, i'll take a lightbulb over a candal anyday. they're much less likely to go out with a small puff of wind." okay, so it's a bit of a rant, but maybe it'll get more coherent later. ]]> ~fast-k http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/3994276/ http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/3994276/ Sun, 05 Dec 2004 10:59:38 PST
as i said, i've been working again. and i have a new reason to dislike the president. and this one is not one that's easily nullifyed. see, in october bush signed the american creation of jobs act (some name like that). well anyway, that effects tax law so friday i spent 7.5 hours folding, stuffing, labeling, sealing, and stamping envelopes with information about the act to about 700 businesses. and my arm is sore. stupid bush, we still have to send out all the organizers, as if this time of year (leading up to tax season and then tax season) isn't bad enough for accountants he has to go sign that stupid act! *shakes fist* i demand a free massage for my troubles!

o yeah! wednesday is the hwa rang do demo, i might take pictures there (and possibly see if someone will take pictures of me when i'm doing my demo) and put them up here, something a little different. and there will be FOOD! possibly cream puffs. i love cream puffs. i'm bringing tuna pasta salad stuff even. and i've got to practice my form with my group, we aren't the most together, but at least we all know the form finally.

one last thing, check out volcanic expressions, my latest scrap. i'm very proud of it. they're so cute. ]]> ~fast-k http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/3889085/ http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/3889085/ Sun, 21 Nov 2004 22:13:55 PST
my sister (~Tstar7 ) ended up in texas, she's heading around to mexico, louisiana, and probably more places down south. she's totally broke though.

finals are creeping up on me very fast. about 3 weeks or so left of the term. i think i finally have the job thing covered though, i can always go back to the office to work during tax season. they need all the help they can get.

i've been working on the klingon, i don't know any words yet, but at least i have a basic understanding of all the damn suffixes. ]]> ~fast-k http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/3865093/ http://fast-k.deviantart.com/journal/3865093/ Thu, 18 Nov 2004 14:11:04 PST
pIch vIghajbe'. really. if anyone can understand that i think you're awesome, but probably a bit too geeky for your own good. like me.

guess what i got! o man! a klingon to english dictionary!! It's so awesome. and great. and awesomely great. but boy does it make me feel geeky.

i always considered myself a star trek fan, but until today i never really considered myself a true trekke. but i do now. because you can't own this book and not be a trekke. i mean, it's not just translations, but pronounciations, grammar, syntax, the whole she-bang. it combines my love of language and culture with my love of sci-fi and star trek. it's so awesome. maybe i can learn goa'uld next.

sorry, i just had to let everyone know. because it's just so incredibly awesome. and you must agree with me dammit! ]]> ~fast-k