http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:fightrchik&section=today deviantART RSS for by:fightrchik en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Thu, 10 Dec 2009 18:04:12 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://fightrchik.deviantart.com/journal/20347699/ http://fightrchik.deviantart.com/journal/20347699/ Fri, 05 Sep 2008 20:53:32 PDT
i hate myself and i hate who i am

now most of you may be asking why

well i'll tell you

i am only here to exist and no matter how hard i try i cant make people happy

but i try so hard to make them happpy that i hurt myself in the process

and right now i cant eat anything i havent been able to eat for almost a week now

i cant digest food

if i eat i puke it back up and hour later

my medication makes me into a zomby
and i hate it
but the only reason i like to take it is cause i am actually trying to get good grades right now and all i can do when i'm on those meds is focus

i'm slowly pushing a hell of alot of people away right now and the one person i really like i'm trying to push away but he wont go away

and as awesome as that is it is really hard for me to trust people

especially guys

and i may be driving away someone that might actually make me ahappy and god forbid that happen

hence the title

]]> ~fightrchik http://fightrchik.deviantart.com/journal/19242268/ http://fightrchik.deviantart.com/journal/19242268/ Sun, 06 Jul 2008 19:52:15 PDT
i have come to a few realizations about myself.

one of which is that i have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. and that i am

i'm actually mentally and emotionally ready to choose my carrier
as well as make the choice that will permanently mark my body(get a tattoo)


i have had 2 sucessfull relationships this year
marisa and my current one scott
me and marisa are still close firends
we went out for a month
the reason why this was sucessful was cause we are still friends


another realization is that i am more able to be damaged than repaired.

but my friends that keep their promises are still my closest friends

i know this is giberish to alot of you. but i have some poetry that i have to post on here and some lyrics so tell me what you think
i am now going out with this great guy scott.
(end)

]]> ~fightrchik http://fightrchik.deviantart.com/journal/15643293/ http://fightrchik.deviantart.com/journal/15643293/ Sat, 24 Nov 2007 00:07:28 PST
Las reglas:

Las primeras diez personas en comentar en este journal me tendrán dando un paseo por sus galerías y seleccionando mis 3 obras favoritas de las mismas y siendo posteadas en este mismo journal.
A cambio de esto, ustedes deberan hacer un journal como éste. Es una manera divertida de apreciar el trabajo de otros.

.:.English.:.

The rules
The first ten people who reply to this journal and tell me that they want a spot will have me go through their gallery and pick my three favourite deviations, which in turn will be featured in this journal.
In return you'll have to post a journal like this. It is a funny way to appreciate others work.

]]> ~fightrchik http://fightrchik.deviantart.com/journal/14792234/ http://fightrchik.deviantart.com/journal/14792234/ Tue, 25 Sep 2007 20:05:55 PDT
» I lived next door to you:
» I started smoking:
» I stole something:
» I was hospitalized:
» I ran away from home:
» I got into a fight and you weren't there:

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MY:

» Personality:
» Art:
» Comments:
» Character Designs:

WHAT ABOUT US:

» Who are you?
» Are we friends?
» When and how did we meet?
» How have I affected you?
» What do you think of me?
» What's the fondest memory you have of me?
» How long do you think we will be friends or enemies?
» Have I ever hurt you?
» Would you hug me?
» Are we close?
» Emotionally, what stands out?
» Do you wish I was cooler?
» Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
» Am I loveable?
» How long have you known me?
» Describe me in one word.
» What was your first impression?
» Do you still think that way about me now?
» What do you think my weakness is?
» Do you think I'll get married?
» What about me makes you happy?
» What about me makes you sad?
» What reminds you of me?
» What's something you would change about me?
» How well do you know me?
» Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
» Do you think I would kill someone?
» Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you?

]]> ~fightrchik http://fightrchik.deviantart.com/journal/14644980/ http://fightrchik.deviantart.com/journal/14644980/ Sat, 15 Sep 2007 13:13:32 PDT
If you know me and are reading this, expect to get tagged also.

Here are the rules:

1. Post these rules

2. Each person tagged must post 8 random facts about themselves

3. Tags should write a journal/ blog of these facts

4. At the end of the post 8 more persons are tagged and named

5. Go to their page and leave a comment telling them they're tagged


Here we go:

1. i'm BI

2. both of my parents and my sister and her bf and a lot of my friends smoke and i hate it and they do it around me but i have given up on trying to get them to cut it down of stop

3. i love to run around in the rain (and i want to kiss someone in the rain too)

4. i am a poet

5. i actually love school

6. :Harcaaj: is my bf

7. i have adhd and i love it

8. i have stage fright

-------------------------------------------------------
:harcaaj:
:stik-trooper:
:Raveraiser:
:KuriKagome:
: XxKurusai-chanxX:
:WolfGomez:
:ffx2andkhgamer:
:Firefox31Kitsune:

]]> ~fightrchik http://fightrchik.deviantart.com/journal/14363562/ http://fightrchik.deviantart.com/journal/14363562/ Mon, 27 Aug 2007 11:17:48 PDT WHAT SUX EVEN MORE SHE ISNT MY MOM AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH I CANT BE GROUNDED FROM LUKE I JUST CANT.........* CRIES* I CANT GET GOOD GRADES I CANT, even if i shoot for A's the the best i can do is a C and a D in math and i couldnt even maintain that, some people arent meant for good grades, i am one of thoes people BUT I CANT GET BAD GRADES AND MY MOM SAID SHE MIGHT GET ME A MAC..IF I CAN GET STRAIGHT A's.... YOU SEE MY DELEMA
i have never been forced to try in schooland i hate trying in school
I DONT KNOW WHAT I AM GOING TO DO, SOME ONE HELP ME PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

]]> ~fightrchik http://fightrchik.deviantart.com/journal/14009412/ http://fightrchik.deviantart.com/journal/14009412/ Sat, 04 Aug 2007 00:38:42 PDT
1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.
there are few happy endings all tied up in bows a full life is marked by the highs and the lows
Animus
by Seonna Hong

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can.What can you reach?
my piano

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Dirty Jobs

4. Without looking guess what time it is?
12:30am

5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
12:34am

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
the fan behind me

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
today i went to my bfs house

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
a tool CD

9. What are you wearing?
short shorts and a really short spegettie strap

10. Did you dream last night?
yes

11. When did you last laugh?
today

12. What are on the walls you are in?
books,a framed painting, pictures my bf drew and a picture i made and a colloshe(sp)

13. Seen anything weird lately?
nope not yet

14. What do you think of this quiz?
not bad

15. What was the last film you saw?
jack ass 1

16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
chia tea, sugar, candy, .......ect.ect.

17. Tell me something about you that I don't know?
i am actually....... wait y should i tell you

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt and politics, what would it be?
i would stop rape

19. Do you like to dance?
yeah

20. George Bush:
should be shot and castrated

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Alexis or maddie

22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
alex or conrad

23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
sure prefrably with my friends and my bf

24. What do you want God to say when you reach the pearly gates?
emma u did fine u did just fine

]]> ~fightrchik http://fightrchik.deviantart.com/journal/13801618/ http://fightrchik.deviantart.com/journal/13801618/ Thu, 19 Jul 2007 22:47:53 PDT
1.Is there anybody you just wish would fall off the face of the Earth?
yes quite a few

2. How do you flush the toilet in public restrooms?
i step on the flushy thingy i dont trust anyons hands that have touched it before me (ewww gross)

3. Do you wear your seatbelt in the car?
yes when i get caught not wearing one

4. Do you have a crush on someone?
Yeah

5. Name one thing that you start to get tense about if you are close to running out of it?
MONSTER, ROCKSTARS, SOBE FEAR FACTOR, ENERGY DRINKS, CAFFEENE, SUGAR BWAHAHAHAHA

6. What famous person do you (or other people) think you resemble?
none but it really bugs me that people say i look just like my sister

7. What is your favorite pizza topping?
that red sause and cheese mainly the sause though that stuff it good

8. Are your nails painted?
NOPE

9. Do you crack your knuckles?
heck yea

10. What song do you hate the most when it gets stuck in your head?
old choir songs like an italyan (sp) aria

11. Did just mentioning that song make it get stuck in your head?
nope YOU FAIL

12. What are your super powers?
SUPER SPEED AND TKD CHICK

13. Peppermint or spearmint?
Spearmint

14. Where are your car keys?
on the stairs

15. Whose answers to this questionnaire do you want to hear?
lukes lol

16. What are your biggest "pet peeves?"
i'll name a couple
my sister
and people underestemating me
but my biggest is when people use the word cunt it buggs the crap out of me

17. Where did you last go vacation?
20 state trip

18. If you could punch one person in the nose and get away with it, who would it be?
ADAM CULBERTSON

19. What is your best physical feature?
You tell me! >>;

20. What CD is closest to you right now?
my korean learning thing

21. What 3 things can always be found in your refrigerator?
foood and beverages

22. What superstition do you believe/practice?
the 1000 pushup curse
never do 1000 push ups or well just try it mwahahahahah

23. What color are your bed sheets?
Light blue,and black

24. Would you rather be a fish or a bird?
bird

25. Do you talk on your cell phone when you drive?
duh not safe but fun

26. What are your favorite sayings?
dont get mad get even

27. What song(s) do you sing most often in the shower?
um eyotoy seote

28. If you could go back or forward in time, would you and where would you go?
\feudal Japan Or ancient Egypt.. or future korea

29. What is your favorite Harrison Ford movie?
I can't even name one

30. What CD is in your stereo?
a perfect circle and tool

31. What cd will be in your stereo in a few minutes?
same as above

32. How many kids do you plan on having?
dont know

33. If you could kiss anyone, who would it be?
lips are seald

34. Would you really want to kiss someone you didn't know, even if they are famous?
no

36. If they made a movie about your life, what actor/actress would be the best for this job?
i would play myself no one can do it better

37. Would you rather die in a blaze of glory or peacefully in your sleep?
blaze

38. Have you ever started to fill out a survey and then thought "this is stupid" and exit without sending it?
Yes

39. Coffee or tea?
Tea, chai tea

40. Favorite musician(s)/bands you've seen in concert?
no comment

41. Have you ever been in love?
yup

42. Do you talk to yourself?
yeah i aint crazy (yes you are) no (yes).......

43. Ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?
possibly wana see
[link]

]]> ~fightrchik http://fightrchik.deviantart.com/journal/13056245/ http://fightrchik.deviantart.com/journal/13056245/ Tue, 22 May 2007 20:36:48 PDT
]]> ~fightrchik http://fightrchik.deviantart.com/journal/12757035/ http://fightrchik.deviantart.com/journal/12757035/ Fri, 27 Apr 2007 16:34:29 PDT hey if you want to know what your name is in korean comment and i will show it to you

]]> ~fightrchik http://fightrchik.deviantart.com/journal/12516193/ http://fightrchik.deviantart.com/journal/12516193/ Sun, 08 Apr 2007 20:18:04 PDT i think i'm hyper
i think i'm not cool
i think i'm not popular
i think i'm a dits
i think i'm stupid
i think i'm immature
i think i'm small
i think i'm quick
do i really think this
HELL NO
i know i'm happy
i know i'm hyper
i dont want to be cool
i dont want to be popular
i know i'm a dits
i know i can be immature
i dont think i am small
i know i'm quick
i am myself got a problem with that

]]> ~fightrchik http://fightrchik.deviantart.com/journal/12501250/ http://fightrchik.deviantart.com/journal/12501250/ Sat, 07 Apr 2007 19:44:31 PDT it has a smoth but rough texture
what could this be

it is warm now
and a little shakey
what could this be

i squeeze it
it squeezes back
what could this be

it is calming
it is secure
what could this be

it has 6 areas
none the same length
what could this be

it squeeses me tight
while it sooths me mind
what could this be

it starts to loosen
and drift away
what could this be

as it fades away
my eyes start to water
why is this happening

a light becomes visible
and now i see
i hear my self but cannot see myself
what is happening

i hear a girl crying now
i see her now
i go to her
wait she is me

i hear her say no
why arent you here
why did you have to leave
why you
why
i give her a hug and say
whats the matter

she said
alex is gone

now i know what happened
now i know what it was
it was his hand
--------------------------
this actually happened to me
this is in his memory
Alex Bunden, Feb 9th 1992 - Mar 16th 2007

]]> ~fightrchik http://fightrchik.deviantart.com/journal/12463230/ http://fightrchik.deviantart.com/journal/12463230/ Wed, 04 Apr 2007 21:46:27 PDT and look at my face
for just 5 minuts
cant they see
that they arent just
hurting them selfs
their hurting me too
my family mom dad
kirsten and gandma
all are hurting themselfs
and enjoying it
its not "cool"
its not right
and it effects every one
cant they see it
cant they tell
that they are hurting me
not just at home
at school too
people are asking
questions now
and i dont have enough breath
to at least even tell them
only my friends
and people i trust
understand this
they are the ones i have told
not my mom
my dad and sister
they all smoke and
its not ok
and it hurts
i hate it
i cant breath
long enough to tell them how feel
i have tried and faild
for eight years
and no avail
i cant take it any more
i am trapped in a place where even
when let out i still feel trapped
LET ME OUT
LET ME OUT
i scream and shout
LET ME OUT
I DONT WANT TO BE HERE
IN THIS PLACE OF PAIN
I WANT TO BE FREE
FREE TO BREATH
but no
they cant hear
they cant even see me
they dont get the message
i want to breath again
but i cant
it slips away as fast as it comes
and every time
breath slips away
little by little
bit by bit
even now i have trouble breathing
i want to be free
to breath in peace
some one out there
can you hear me
i cry on the inside but
its starting to come out
help me out
HELP ME PLEASE
i scream
but no avail
no avail in this time
i need to breath
and they cant see what is happening
i feel like im dyeing
but im not
i want it to be a nightmare but its not
no its not

]]> ~fightrchik