http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:fortymudshanks&section=today deviantART RSS for by:fortymudshanks en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Thu, 03 Dec 2009 07:52:55 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/28029969/ http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/28029969/ Thu, 29 Oct 2009 14:06:40 PDT

I am in a constant state of uber busy and phenomenally tired, but I wanted to say that I love you. And sometimes, I post poems about sex and/or love disguised as sex (and vice versa).

I am a very versatile artist as of late.

Enjoy!

]]> ~fortymudshanks http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/27790100/ http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/27790100/ Thu, 15 Oct 2009 23:44:10 PDT


]]> ~fortymudshanks http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/26612983/ http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/26612983/ Sat, 15 Aug 2009 16:33:29 PDT
Over and out.



]]> ~fortymudshanks http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/25480829/ http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/25480829/ Mon, 22 Jun 2009 18:44:40 PDT
people just perplex me.

And I think,

well,

I wasn't really meant to be one

of Them

anyway.



(Sorta inspired by Only Spiders can hear me by SailorDidi)



]]> ~fortymudshanks http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/24873914/ http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/24873914/ Thu, 21 May 2009 13:28:55 PDT



]]> ~fortymudshanks http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/24762166/ http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/24762166/ Thu, 14 May 2009 21:55:29 PDT
Let's see....

I meet people in the eye.

I smile freely.

I hug sincerely.

I giggle at children.

I give Mom cards even though I think they're silly.

I donate to MPR.

I didn't punch that douchebag from the show in the face.

I speak Spanish with the Mexican lady at the store even though I'm afraid I'll fuck up.

.....

That's pretty good.

But there has to be more! There is so much to learn and so much to love and so much to give and so many worlds to create!

To be continued....

It's not what you gather, but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived!



]]> ~fortymudshanks http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/24465506/ http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/24465506/ Mon, 27 Apr 2009 15:20:50 PDT
and

you see me crying

like

the sky cries the river cries the little ponds we play in

and the tears from the sky say "plick plom plom plick"

in the puddles of our footprints

until night falls.

If you ever see me crying like that

it's only because I've figured out

that everything is

so goddamned beautiful.

]]> ~fortymudshanks http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/23344709/ http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/23344709/ Sun, 22 Feb 2009 14:06:13 PST

]]> ~fortymudshanks http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/23175617/ http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/23175617/ Fri, 13 Feb 2009 14:09:20 PST
I sighed.

Thank god.

]]> ~fortymudshanks http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/22353791/ http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/22353791/ Fri, 02 Jan 2009 12:36:19 PST
Speaking of change and renewal, we will have a new President this month. ELATION! Check out change.gov and be a part of America's powerful, positive change.



]]> ~fortymudshanks http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/21577763/ http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/21577763/ Thu, 20 Nov 2008 07:30:50 PST
]]> ~fortymudshanks http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/20628808/ http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/20628808/ Mon, 22 Sep 2008 23:19:32 PDT

Oily marks appear on walls
Where pleasure moments hung before the takeover,
The sweeping insensitivity of this still life


-Hide and Seek, Imogen Heap

What a great song.

]]> ~fortymudshanks http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/19624445/ http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/19624445/ Sun, 27 Jul 2008 14:03:02 PDT
]]> ~fortymudshanks http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/18285609/ http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/18285609/ Mon, 12 May 2008 08:09:35 PDT I love this song...

Bring back those good ol' days
Nothing feels right, nothing ever goes my way
I threw my future away
Now I walk alone out here in the cold...
Wandering astray
Where's my future?
Gonna need a home
You'd expect the same, now wouldn't you, wouldn't you?

Your journey back to birth its haunting you its haunting you
Your departure from the earth, its haunting you, its haunting you

Only those who accept will find that acceptance in return
We have been trimmed down like hedges
Told just to sit and wilt, and spit at each other from a distance
With constant resistant from you
I'm gonna need a home
You'd expect the same now wouldn't you, wouldn't you?

Your journey back to this is haunting you, haunting you
You departure from the end is haunting you, haunting you

It's been ten years strong, thats much too long
It's time to do something good for my health
Time to do somethin' good for myself
It's been ten years strong, thats much too long
It's time to do something good for my health
Time to do somethin' good for myself
I've wasted all this time, I've wasted all this time

Your journey back to birth is haunting you, haunting you
You departure from the earth is haunting you, haunting you

Your journey back to birth is haunting you, haunting you
You departure from the earth is haunting you, haunting you


Bug Eyes
Dredg

]]> ~fortymudshanks http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/18204915/ http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/18204915/ Tue, 06 May 2008 22:56:45 PDT
I don't know you. We're going to be okay, right? Is there really a we? How did you move in like this? I opened the door, you walked in, and quickly became more important to me than the fridge and the warm blankets on my bed and even the light in the hallway that lets me avoid wandering at arms-length to the bathroom at night. If this is love, it happened so swiftly and without question and without reason that I don't think anyone could ever deny it entry. Does this mean we'll live together and slowly grow tired of each other like the couch that no one really sits on anymore unless they really have to in which they then dream what it would be like to have a new, comfier couch? I really believe we're different, but I've never experienced something this clean, this natural, this amazing and odd that I could never begin to predict what really sharing life with you would be like. Why do I think about this? Isn't there something I should be doing instead? Is something as warm and thrilling and beautiful as us really something that exists? I am in awe and disbelief even when the cards are in front of me. I am acting a fool, indeed.



(For you, my love)

]]> ~fortymudshanks http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/17722759/ http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/17722759/ Sun, 06 Apr 2008 20:46:01 PDT
]]> ~fortymudshanks http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/15293427/ http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/15293427/ Tue, 30 Oct 2007 20:52:01 PDT
I'm moving this week, and to most of you who live outside of MN, that won't mean much. I am however, going to be closer to school and to theater, and to most of all, an environment that I feel more connected to. I am super excited.

Also, I've shaved my head! I donated my hair recently and I just had to shave it before I could decide if I wanted to grow it out. In truth, I have never felt more beautiful. I look at myself everyday in the mirror and feel a little naked, a little more raw, a little more "come as you are". I am living the belief I have held that we are simply too attached to physical appearances, to status quo, and that does not by any means exclude our hair. Most of the time we are so distracted by others' hair that we pay less attention to their face or what they're saying. I feel like I am being more honest with the world somehow by making them look for my beauty somewhere other than the dead cells protruding out of my scalp. (Let's face it girls, we keep our hair with us for waaaaay too long. )

Plus, my head is fuzzy and coaxes young people and adults alike to stroke it. I'll see if I can't post some pictures so you peeps can see the change I have gone through the last few months. I do have a myspace account () if any of you would like to stay in contact there. It is private but feel free to send me a friend request! Click here

I am getting my certification to teach T'ai Chi this weekend and I couldn't be happier. It was love at first step.

I am in love with my best friend. What's more, we make incredible sex. He lives in England but that only gives me greater reason to travel.

I believe that is all for now. I need to go do some laundry and pack.

How have you been?

PS- IT'S HALLOWEEN TOMORROW!!!!! YAY!!! You know what I am dressing up as? That's right. A mutha fuckin' ninja!

]]> ~fortymudshanks http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/13462239/ http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/13462239/ Sat, 23 Jun 2007 16:43:47 PDT
Greetings from a semi long, half-assed hiatus.

I hope to be posting again soon.



]]> ~fortymudshanks http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/12186603/ http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/12186603/ Wed, 14 Mar 2007 20:20:15 PDT
...or something.

I know, deep inside, that I am good here. There is something shaky in my step but I am stepping, and that step is mine. And I feel good about that.

I am no longer so content that I have no need to act.

Strange.

Does happiness promote laziness? Or does that happen only for lazy people?

Either way, I feel forced/encouraged (depending on how I look at it) to move forward, because there is no longer a way for me to justify salvaging the once was.

It's time to take change by the hand and explore.

I wonder what's next?

What I do know-

is that I'll be there for it.



]]> ~fortymudshanks http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/12161694/ http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/12161694/ Mon, 12 Mar 2007 19:58:08 PDT
If only I could find a way to explain that to the painful ache in my chest...

]]> ~fortymudshanks http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/11812199/ http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/11812199/ Wed, 14 Feb 2007 09:39:35 PST

And yes, I am fully aware that I am self advertising here, and that it is not very modest of me.

My response?

It's my damn birthday! And I think everyone deserves birthday love!

So, if you feel so inclined, send it my way and I will joyfully receive!

Lovey doves!

Tara

(And Happy Valentine's Day, too)



]]> ~fortymudshanks http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/11611583/ http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/11611583/ Mon, 29 Jan 2007 13:14:47 PST
(Pass it on)

]]> ~fortymudshanks http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/11099790/ http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/11099790/ Sun, 17 Dec 2006 22:07:58 PST
In this life-like lime light
Your eyes always look more powerful
than when you fall into me
at every hello
after the show

You move slowly and speak in a tone
much quieter than your violin
and I wonder
if she ever wonders
why it rains
every time you play
(your eyes are always silver under skies like these)

In this room full of roses
you focus on the thorns
and are sure to remind yourself
that the pain
is only a thumb's length away
from her blushing face

Everything you need
lies in integrity
and I know
that smiles haven't looked the same since
but I am here to remind you
that it's not over yet
and to watch you smile anyway ---12/18/06

]]> ~fortymudshanks http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/10724887/ http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/10724887/ Tue, 14 Nov 2006 15:43:51 PST
Long time no see!

I am doing well, doing the school and work thing.

The pieces I am thinking about submitting are from a time that I am ready to leave behind me. One step at a time.

Hope to hear from you soon,
Tara

PS-I caved in to Myspace for musical reasons (I still believe myspace is the left index finger of the devil), but you guys are welcome to pop by! [link]



]]> ~fortymudshanks http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/10479011/ http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/10479011/ Sun, 22 Oct 2006 17:44:18 PDT
I haven't done much here lately, so I apologize for not commenting on anyone's stuff lately! I will be slowly working through my inbox, but if there is a piece any of you were hoping I'd look at sooner rather than later, please let me know, and I will!

I haven't been writing much. I feel a bit uninspired. But I'll get back on. Don't worry.

]]> ~fortymudshanks http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/10160621/ http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/10160621/ Sat, 23 Sep 2006 09:51:06 PDT HALLOWEEN!


...is coming...






]]> ~fortymudshanks http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/9989370/ http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/9989370/ Wed, 06 Sep 2006 15:00:05 PDT
What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail?

Is fear a good enough reason not to do something? Ever?

Comment on what you think! ]]> ~fortymudshanks http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/9780309/ http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/9780309/ Sat, 19 Aug 2006 08:27:57 PDT Peace is not something you wish for; it is something you make, something you do, something you are, and something you give away." - Robert Fulghum

We all need to keep these words in mind if we were ever sincere in our hopes to improve the human condition.

]]> ~fortymudshanks http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/9499951/ http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/9499951/ Wed, 26 Jul 2006 10:57:49 PDT "The soul would have no rainbow if the eyes had no tears"-Native American Proverb


Wishing you well in all of your journies

]]> ~fortymudshanks http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/9237944/ http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/9237944/ Sat, 01 Jul 2006 01:14:44 PDT [link]

Secrets revealed!

~Tara is a sanskrit word meaning star
~Tara is fast and free (but only for a limited time)
~Tara is the bubbly bubbles (Actually)
~Tara is the most important female deity of the Buddhist pantheon (I speak with her often)
~Tara is metallurgically simple (and I won't turn your skin green)
~Tara is happy for s (That's a lie. S and I are still not on speaking terms.)
~Tara is confirmed for "ice wars" (I didn't make the cut for Star Wars. That Portman chick plays hard and dirty)
~Tara is thankful to sm Krishna (throw the "&" in there and I'll admit it)
~Tara is the newest member of the scooby gang (Never give that goddamn dog cheezits)
~Tara is solid brass and measures 30 inches (And you thought you were hung)
~Tara is a dumbass (I call it an ecclectic sense of humor)

Stay alert, readers. The government will learn far too much with these info-ninjas swiping all of your pertinent life facts.

........

]]> ~fortymudshanks http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/9221862/ http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/9221862/ Thu, 29 Jun 2006 13:53:07 PDT

Hey, now. I never said anything about All Access. Put your leg down. Jeez. ]]> ~fortymudshanks http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/9128937/ http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/9128937/ Tue, 20 Jun 2006 16:51:58 PDT
But, if you were a D&D character, what alignment would you be? And, hell, what race and class would you (or most desire to) be? ]]> ~fortymudshanks http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/8949781/ http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/8949781/ Fri, 02 Jun 2006 11:40:39 PDT
The concert was incredible and I discovered and took part in a nuance of humanity that I've never quite gotten ahold of before. It was disappointing, inspiring, interesting, but most importantly of all, enlightening. I am still mulling it over in myself. I may have coughed up some work from the experience but I don't have it with me. (Even in my most organized moments I am unprepared. I think that is what forces me to be spontaneous )

I think everyone who reads this should stop what they're doing, fuck responsibility sideways for the next 48 hours, and do something that they absolutely love in the name of being alive.

Personally, with metal as my soundtrack I became a lotus flower and expressed how little of a fuck I care about what anyone has to think or say about me. I did everything out of respect and celebration of my freedom and in turn treated everyone else with the same consideration.

I know this is sketchy writing-try to bare with it and understand it's hard for me to squeeze an experience into words. Funny thing for a poet to say.

Lesson of the day: Only by living your life through yourself can you truly appreciate it. Please, please, don't let anyone live your life for you: they have one of their own to tend to, after all. That and, the old saying: Sing as if no one were listening, dance as if no one were watching, live every moment as if it were your last.

Much love

Tara ]]> ~fortymudshanks http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/8922051/ http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/8922051/ Tue, 30 May 2006 15:29:24 PDT
Regardless, I have some small talk topics that are fun and give me joy! First, I have finally seen Advent Children and it was gorgeous. Definately more of a FFVII die-hard movie, since it moves pretty fast, but anyone who likes action and/or anime will have a hell of a time with it. Check it out!

Also, my former distress over the separation of a band has dissolved! If anyone is familiar with Spineshank, it has been awhile since their singer left. Which was disappointing. However, Johnny (the singer in question) has joined up with a couple guys to create this awesome fucking band named Silent Civilian. They're heavy and lyrically optimistic and totally have been rockin' my socks. I'll be checking them out live tomorrow night and I will definately let you guys know how it goes! (Fun side note: I'm pretty fucking sure that Ill Nino is the headliner for this show--all I have to say to that is AH!)

And, not to beat the dead horse, but I have yet to establish my internet situation. (I'm currently plaguing my local library with a screen potentially full of curses and naked bodies.) And, as always, notes are the best way to get my attention, and I apologize for not looking at all of the awesome stuff that you people I happen to be watching always amaze me with!

Much love and I'll, er, see you soon! ]]> ~fortymudshanks http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/8570918/ http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/8570918/ Mon, 24 Apr 2006 12:28:57 PDT
And yes, I am asking you. ]]> ~fortymudshanks http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/8449464/ http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/8449464/ Wed, 12 Apr 2006 14:10:08 PDT I can't accept
that everything dies
as the sun rises

Over
and
over

Again.




]]> ~fortymudshanks http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/8168543/ http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/8168543/ Wed, 15 Mar 2006 12:50:42 PST ) may have noticed, I haven't been around much. My boyfriend and I recently decided to split ways and I haven't gotten internet established at my new residence quite yet. I will be popping in so feel free to leave me messages; it just may take awhile for you to receive a response.

As for me, starting all over again (in many respects) is an exciting and terrifying thing. Strangely, I feel ready for it.

~Much love and additional Blessings~

Tara ]]> ~fortymudshanks http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/7967499/ http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/7967499/ Tue, 21 Feb 2006 23:55:15 PST
In this particular quiz the more points you have in a color, the more the aspects of that color describe you.

Anyway, I did mine and I thought it was pretty cool. It doesn't take long--have a look if you're into this kind of thing! (Even if you're not, it won't bite! )

[link]

Here are my results. What they mean can be found at the link above.

Violet: 10
Blue: 9
Magenta: 6
Yellow: 6
Abstract tan: 6
Indigo: 6
Green: 4
Environment tan: 3
Lavander: 3
Crystal: 2
Logical tan: 2
Red: 0
Orange: 0

*makes a shooing gesture* Really! Go do it! ]]> ~fortymudshanks http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/7952495/ http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/7952495/ Mon, 20 Feb 2006 12:16:11 PST
*Disclaimer: Yes, yes, I realize people are people and bands break up for personal reasons that I have nothing to do with. I have the highest respect for people who put up with bullshit in the business, but if I don't vent I am going to freak and inadvertantly cause a blizzard or something*

Anyway. Fucking FINCH broke up. After releasing an album that totally rocked my fuckin' world they disband. I have never gotten the chance to see Finch live. And it is a goddamn shame. I am never missing a fucking concert for work again. Fuck it. I can find another way to make a living.

Nothingface.

40 Below Summer.

Finch.

All done.

Both Spineshank and Killswitch continued with new peeps. All the power to them. I have to say though, while new Killswitch is good, they made some fucking magic with Jesse Leech. I mean, really.

Fuck
fuck
fuck

I guess that's all I have left to say.

I miss the feeling of home. ]]> ~fortymudshanks http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/7927193/ http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/7927193/ Fri, 17 Feb 2006 16:17:32 PST

These are great D&D comics--have a gander.

Here a little taste: [link] ]]> ~fortymudshanks http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/7904654/ http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/7904654/ Wed, 15 Feb 2006 08:58:21 PST
Although I think Valentine's Day is a bit over rated (but what isn't when the commercial industry gets ahold of it, really) I hope everyone had a wonderful time with friends and/or special someones! I am a Valentine baby, so I had a great time celebrating my birthday--one of the best ones in awhile, actually. Good stuff!

Best wishes and I hope to rock your socks soon with something creative!

]]> ~fortymudshanks http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/7733064/ http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/7733064/ Sat, 28 Jan 2006 15:09:25 PST
]]> ~fortymudshanks http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/7620496/ http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/7620496/ Mon, 16 Jan 2006 12:44:16 PST
This is a school in which, when I was there (not so long ago) excused the small handfull of black students for the national holiday, but all the white students were expected to attend. We were all handed small, blue slips of paper that had a small paragraph of Dr. King's best quotes stamped upon it.

I have never seen so much blue strewn across gleaming linoleum floors before in my life.

When a community doesn't care about things like this, it should come as no surprise that neither will its children.

Today, none of those students will be studying Dr. King and the issues he confronted. And I am lost for words.

]]> ~fortymudshanks http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/7586989/ http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/7586989/ Thu, 12 Jan 2006 19:56:34 PST I love smooth pens that feel good in my hand, and I love fun notebooks to write in. So, naturally, I totally pissed myself off tonight by ruining one of these fun notebooks. I had originally turned it into a journal, then later threw in some stream of consciousness and other artsy stuff. Deciding that I no longer wanted to face the writings I had vented onto the pages from loooong ago in the journal part, I tore them out. You know, cleanse the aura of the notebook but salvage the rest Well, turns out that the binding on the notebook itselt is woven into the pages, so I completely fucked my notebook (which I still LOVE) and I'm broken. Okay, not soo broken, I'll probably just end up buying the same one again if I can and starting over, but I'm still pissed at how ridiculous things can be.

Which leads to my prompt: What weird things bother/interest you? Pet peeves? Weird tendencies? Strange ways that you react to certain happenings?

I'd love to hear it.

And, fuck it, the board is open to sexual fetishes/fantasies if anyone is willing to go there.

]]> ~fortymudshanks http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/7326346/ http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/7326346/ Fri, 16 Dec 2005 09:21:04 PST


the lesson of the moth

i was talking to a moth
the other evening
he was trying to break into
an electric light bulb
and fry himself on the wires

why do you fellows
pull this stunt i asked him
because it is the conventional
thing for moths or why
if that had been an uncovered
candle instead of an electric
light bulb you would
now be a small unsightly cinder
have you no sense

plenty of it he answered
but at times we get tired
of using it
we get bored with the routine
and crave beauty
and excitement
fire is beautiful
and we know that if we get
too close it will kill us
but what does that matter
it is better to be happy
for a moment
and be burned up with beauty
than to live a long time
and be bored all the while
so we wad all our life up
into one little roll
and then we shoot the roll
that is what life is for
it is better to be a part of beauty
for one instant and then cease to
exist than to exist forever
and never be a part of beauty
our attitude toward life
is come easy go easy
we are like human beings
used to be before they became
too civilized to enjoy themselves

and before i could argue him
out of his philosophy
he went and immolated himself
on a patent cigar lighter
i do not agree with him
myself i would rather have
half the happiness and twice
the longevity

but at the same time i wish
there was something i wanted
as badly as he wanted to fry himself

archy ]]> ~fortymudshanks http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/7260896/ http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/7260896/ Fri, 09 Dec 2005 00:16:49 PST
Dance girl, dance. As if your life depends on it.
Sing girl, sing. Let the universe know your song.
Paint girl, paint. Give the world back its color.
Write girl, write. Bring imagination back to the people.
Smile girl, smile. Make those around you happy.
Cry girl, cry. Shed your pain and let it be free.
Laugh girl, laugh. Let those around you know your joy.
Walk girl, walk. Experience the life that's around you.
Jump girl, jump. Bring back life to the earth.
Spin girl, spin. Make the world go round.
Live girl, live. Cause this may be the only chance you get.

Tiny waists and thinner arms
Is all they want to see, the opposite of me.
The pressure to be perfect is slowing closing in.
An utter suffocation that doesn't seem to end.
Society is telling me beautiful is then.
And if I choose to starve myself perfection is what I win.
Shoving something down my throat
Will get me what I want
to bring me closer to that goal
Of a body I can flaunt.
Society is telling us beauty is a prize.
Measured in weight and clothing size.
But let me tell you here and now no good will come from that.
It seems ok at first but soon becomes a trap.
A disease that clouds the mind and believes what's untrue
Believes you're never good enough to matter what you do.
There is one beauty that I know--the greatest piece of all.
It's learning ot accept yourself--imperfections, flaws, and all.
The beauty that really matters lies in our heart, our soul, our core.
Because when you love what's inside, you love what's outside
Even more.

This touched me so much, because so many children are taught by society's norms that they will not be accepted as who they are. (And this applies not only to children, and not only to large bodies, either). People are always pressured to become that perfect projection of what society idolizes, when in fact, no one could come close.

And in turn, the other factor: Self love is so important and very overlooked. Loving and taking care of yourself is not selfish. Many of us who feel we live for others often forget this--but, please remember, those of you who live for people: You are not only the window through which you see the world, you are person, too. And you are always the first one available to run to your side when shit goes down in flames. The first one in line to pat you on the back is always you.

Please don't leave yourself lonely.

Because when you love what's inside, you love what's outside
Even more.


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ ]]> ~fortymudshanks http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/7243005/ http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/7243005/ Tue, 06 Dec 2005 22:46:30 PST knew her, but I got a whiff of her whilst I was down wind on a fine spring day). Either way, she told me things that I truly never knew about myself, and may never know again. Unless I read my own journals. Of course.

See what the hell she is talking about here: [link] "Eight things you never knew about yourself"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

1. Your head is made entirely out of paper - except for your nose, which is made out of concrete.

2. Well, I haven't known you for very long, but I'm gonna say Missy Higgins - Scar, because I love pimping Missy Higgins to people outside Australia. Plus, it's a great song.

3. Hmm. The mud and the shanks are leading me to say lamb, so I'm going to veer off in a totally different direction and say quince.

4. I just went to your journal and ARCHY RULES!

5. Well I don't know about first, but my clearest right now is that you went and commented on all the UA things, and for that I am eternally inclined to love you to death. THANKYOUS AND SQUEEZES ABOUND!

Okay. You've owned this paper bag from childhood, and it's immensely special to you. You sleep with it at night, you take it to your first day of school, you drag it out to every single occasion you can think of. One day you return home, get into bed, and reaching for your trusty paper bag you are astonished to find it FULL! There's a real live mountain goat inside! Now, you love goats, but that doesn't mean you'll stand for having them in your extra-special paper bag. So you ring the President about it, and he arranges some terrorist contacts of his (don't ask) to remove the goat. Unfortunately, the goat drags them into the bag as well! Now your bag is STUFFED with strange things! To make it up to you, the President promises to get in the bag and remove the offending terrorist and mountain goat. But the terrorist pulls him into the bag as WELL! The only thing you can do is get in there yourself and rescue the lot of them. But what's this? You're being sucked in too! Oh no! At this point you all give up, and have rampant lovely love inside your rampantly lovely paper bag. The end!

6. Okay, here I'll give in and say that it's lambies. And that now I'm hungry for chops. And that it'd be missionary.

7. What's in your life apart from the writing we see?

8. Go go go!

Well, there you go. Become enlightened.

]]> ~fortymudshanks http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/7238978/ http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/7238978/ Fri, 16 Dec 2005 09:19:32 PST


the lesson of the moth

i was talking to a moth
the other evening
he was trying to break into
an electric light bulb
and fry himself on the wires

why do you fellows
pull this stunt i asked him
because it is the conventional
thing for moths or why
if that had been an uncovered
candle instead of an electric
light bulb you would
now be a small unsightly cinder
have you no sense

plenty of it he answered
but at times we get tired
of using it
we get bored with the routine
and crave beauty
and excitement
fire is beautiful
and we know that if we get
too close it will kill us
but what does that matter
it is better to be happy
for a moment
and be burned up with beauty
than to live a long time
and be bored all the while
so we wad all our life up
into one little roll
and then we shoot the roll
that is what life is for
it is better to be a part of beauty
for one instant and then cease to
exist than to exist forever
and never be a part of beauty
our attitude toward life
is come easy go easy
we are like human beings
used to be before they became
too civilized to enjoy themselves

and before i could argue him
out of his philosophy
he went and immolated himself
on a patent cigar lighter
i do not agree with him
myself i would rather have
half the happiness and twice
the longevity

but at the same time i wish
there was something i wanted
as badly as he wanted to fry himself

archy ]]> ~fortymudshanks http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/7154225/ http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/7154225/ Sun, 27 Nov 2005 00:20:01 PST

For one, I have been listening to the Harry Potter series on audio book, and it is incredible! I fear I am going to join the excited, chattering crowds of HP nerds! (And I've resorted to audio since I'm both working and schooling full time. I needed to get my literary fix in whatever form!)

You know that extensively content wave that washes over you when you slip into your "happy place"? Well, I may be the only one with a happy place, but I enter it through a few mediums:

Hot showers. (Sex in the shower may be great, but I need my shower time to be alone and meditate)

Weilding or simply holding a katana. Or the smaller waksashi (spelling?) And don't get entranced by my potentially exotic skills--I have no idea how to properly weild one. (Which I aspire to change) I must have spent a passed life with one....

Riding in a car or vehicle of some kind. (I enjoy driving but riding lets you daydream and examine the environment). Half the fun is getting there. It just relaxes me. I dunno.

Chocolate milk is a happy place food. The "trip" doesn't last long, but it's still super.

I'm not sure sleeping counts but I looove to sleep.

I'm pretty sure music falls in here somewhere. However, I normally get my groove on within the music too intensely for it to work. It's just not the same thing.

Ah, wait. I figured it out. Concerts of artist I adore. Mmmmm. Happy place.

I am a vegetarian. But I will eat you instead of hiding your body.

I love kids. Probably because I am a big kid at heart. Ah, hell, you can tell most of the time.

Well, that's enough for now, I do say!

Now that you've read this, you must tell me something in return! This is my sneaky way of creating psuedo-conversation! ]]> ~fortymudshanks http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/7127256/ http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/7127256/ Wed, 23 Nov 2005 21:04:09 PST

While I'm at it, check out some of her stuff!

[link]
(I don't know how to put her avatar up so have a lame link )

This one in particular made me giggle
[link]

The rest of her stuff isn't so light, but it has always reeled me in in a way I cannot explain. The way she writes is raw, slightly chaotic, and best of all, honest.

Cheers to you, sista! ]]> ~fortymudshanks http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/7076302/ http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/7076302/ Thu, 17 Nov 2005 22:30:21 PST

Well, here's to good health. It has to come around sooner or later. In the meantime, I'll be having

this


this


and a lot of this (the best remedy) ]]> ~fortymudshanks http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/7007562/ http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/7007562/ Thu, 10 Nov 2005 09:09:06 PST

Well, here it comes...

*insert political rant*

Watching the news last night, I found there is going to be a large gathering for certain Christians to sit around and discuss how they are going to sway the state government to ban gay marriage. I took a deep breath, but I still got frustrated. One woman was demanding, "Let us vote! Let us defend marriage!"

These people may feel they are defending something important to everyone (which they are) but they fail to realize the act of marriage is not secularly a Christian practice. By trying to legally define marriage as Christian doctrine decrees, thousands of citizens are being overlooked. Because, believe it or not, not all of us follow the Christian faith. *feigns a surprised gasp* And while the government should recognize each faith as legitimate (which is another rant all together), no faith should be identified with our government. Am I saying that our politicians should not be religious? Of course not. But they are in a position of ensuring that equality really is equal, and not just an act of satisfying the majority or the loudest voice. I've met many religious people who recognize the importance of respecting and honoring the expression of other religions, and it is this sort of insight that should be found in our political leaders.

My point? Banning gay marriage is not an issue of law, it is an issue of beliefs. If you'd like to see gay marriages banned, join a church or other preferred gathering that does not support the act and be satisfied. In my eyes, there is no debate. Marriage is (ideally) a joining of people who love each other. A proclaimation of their bond to all of those around them. It never occured to me that homosexuals were not people who did not love. Because this is the message our country is sending out.

]]> ~fortymudshanks http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/6906195/ http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/6906195/ Sun, 30 Oct 2005 11:45:54 PST

Here are my wishes for a safe, fun, and simply FUCKIN' ROCKIN' Halloween for everyone!

It is my favorite holiday and I will be celebrating!

Have fun!

]]> ~fortymudshanks http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/6732645/ http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/6732645/ Mon, 10 Oct 2005 17:25:34 PDT
May the light of the world warm your heart and dry your tears.

Tara ]]> ~fortymudshanks http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/6425246/ http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/6425246/ Mon, 05 Sep 2005 17:29:02 PDT Call me!

....

Goddamnit. ]]> ~fortymudshanks http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/6192347/ http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/6192347/ Wed, 10 Aug 2005 21:30:51 PDT
I've tried a few things, but they haven't worked. I have some some wonderful stuff that I'd like to thump to all of you!

*grin*

Thanks! ]]> ~fortymudshanks http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/5927264/ http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/5927264/ Wed, 13 Jul 2005 20:56:56 PDT I just viewed the trailors for Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children and I practically fainted, orgasmed, and shit myself all at once! And am currently chewing off the finger tips of my left hand in excitement!

No, seriously, check it out. Even if you are not a die hard FF VII fan, *points to self* you will find appreciation in the awesome trailors.

*sigh*

Come September.... ]]> ~fortymudshanks http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/5907610/ http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/5907610/ Mon, 11 Jul 2005 19:17:54 PDT
And this is in a predominantly Roman Catholic country, where, by tradition, homosexuality is wrong.

Finally someone is starting to understand, and support through action, the concept of separation between church and state. ]]> ~fortymudshanks http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/5639622/ http://fortymudshanks.deviantart.com/journal/5639622/ Mon, 13 Jun 2005 18:29:36 PDT
This man, or Tony, died on Saturday. And, by personality or by circumstance, he changed my life.

Regardless of how you view death, either as a passing from this life into another realm or simply into nothingness, one fact cannot be disputed: When you die, everything will change. All things that you have grown to love and find comfort in will no longer hold the same substance; your habits, interests, knick knacks, diaries, jobs, friends-none of those will effect you as they do now. All things will be different. And I think many people become gripped by fear of this fact. They spend their time worrying about death-how it will happen, when it will happen, who it will effect. I think I used to. But now, I cannot help but be appreciative of this life. No one meets someone new expecting them to be dead in less than two weeks time. Suddenly, every breath is something that I enjoy, and will never get back.

Which leads me to my question: What is it that you want from your one precious and wild life? ]]> ~fortymudshanks