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        <title>deviantART: by:garn</title>
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        <pubDate>Wed, 16 Dec 2009 04:05:03 PST</pubDate>        
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                  <item>
                <title>woot!</title>
                <link>http://garn.deviantart.com/journal/3598231/</link>
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                <pubDate>Fri, 15 Oct 2004 17:52:20 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Oooookay! Well it's been a while since  I have done ANYTHING on this sight,  mostly because of my affinity for  almonds. Much has happened between now  and the last time I put anything on  here, including my first taste of  blueberry pie. I almost cried it was so  good. If you don't like blueberry pie,  do yourself a favor and cut out your  oun pun-ass excuse for a waste of  tongue so we don't have to hear you  complain when I make it the dessert of  the day. Every day. With ice cream....  arse. ]]></description>
                <author>~garn</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>JOURNALISM!!!one!1</title>
                <link>http://garn.deviantart.com/journal/2881198/</link>
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                <pubDate>Wed, 14 Jul 2004 14:17:52 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Whew, well I had a lot of energy, but  that title just sapped me. Well, I'm  spent! ]]></description>
                <author>~garn</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Still june? what the crap?</title>
                <link>http://garn.deviantart.com/journal/2725724/</link>
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                <pubDate>Wed, 23 Jun 2004 11:02:47 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Well I sure got over those duldrums  fast. So, now that i'm feeling better,  I decided to go browsing people's art,  and went back to someone i'd seen  earlier... and look what I found in my  favorites! I especially like the fox's  expresion. It looks like a cross  between "This if the best birthday  ever!" and "I can't wait to be a  teenager!" Oh well, I suppose the guy's  getting more than I am at the moment.  but my time'll come soon enough, I  suppose. and if it doesn't, well...  Good thing I'm not ashamed of  masturbation, baby! ]]></description>
                <author>~garn</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Why Won't June End?</title>
                <link>http://garn.deviantart.com/journal/2721525/</link>
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                <pubDate>Tue, 22 Jun 2004 18:10:00 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ I just found out my Grandmother has  cancer. To many people, this would be  crushing news. But to me, it's nothing.  And that's worse. I feel terrible  inside, yet I can't seem to get my  feelings out, to actually be sad. I  want to cry, to scream and pray,  whatever I'm supposed to do. I told my  friends, but they don't seem  interested. All they do is appologise.  If I wanted an appology, I'd put a  knife to your throat for stepping on my  shoe. I want to talk to someone, but I  don't want to come out and ask. I hope  this feeling passes as quickly as it  ussually does. I hate it. ]]></description>
                <author>~garn</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Yet another lateer-in-june journal entry</title>
                <link>http://garn.deviantart.com/journal/2639420/</link>
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                <pubDate>Fri, 11 Jun 2004 21:12:56 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ I've come to teh conclusion that  perhaps getting "laid" is not such a  big deal. And so, after a recod low of  25 or so minutes of feeling ass over  myself, I've decided to rise to my  former awsomness, and let the world (or  people who take time out of their lives  to actually read what I have to say)  know that I'm not dead yet... Otherwise  I would obviosly not be writing this.  But that is not what matters now. What  matters is my steady rise to politcal  power... and since i currently have  none, things are looking up (because  they can't go anywhere else, can  they?). I do hope that anyone who read  my last entry feels sorry for me, and  also frightened at my merest approach  for I am awsome in every sense of the  word, except for the whole "awe"  part... I'm still working on that  detail. And chicken stir-fry is still  awsome, because pork can kiss my ass.  Except for bacon, because it kils fat  people. and everyone knows that those  who turn to Atkins turn their backs on  God. I say we string em up with their  carrots and sin and teach them the  meaning of carb counting.. whatever the  hell THAT means. Yay, justice! ]]></description>
                <author>~garn</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Some time still in June but later</title>
                <link>http://garn.deviantart.com/journal/2639062/</link>
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                <pubDate>Fri, 11 Jun 2004 20:22:14 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ I've come to the conclusion that I  invoke fear upon all women, and that if  I were to say so that they would bow at  my feet and worship me. Indeed that  would give slight satisfaction... But I  still wouldn't get "laid" as my friends  say. Oh well, maybe I killed a virgin  in a past life and have bad karma. Or  maybe I just don't try (for many  reasons... if you really want to know,  feel free to ask). But my main worries  at the time aren't really surrounding  women.<br />
Correction, my worries REVOLVE around  women. Being single for any amount of  time, according to other males, is a  BAD thing. So what do I do? sit on my  arse and eat chicken stir-fri, biatch!<br />
So yea, my lacking of  masculine charm  is of a fault of my own... But does  that mean I'm not awsome? Yes, it does.  I hate my luck. ]]></description>
                <author>~garn</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Some time in June</title>
                <link>http://garn.deviantart.com/journal/2591989/</link>
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                <pubDate>Sat, 05 Jun 2004 19:37:33 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ I've wasted enough time trying to  decide what I want to be when I grow  up. I think we all have, but me  especially. I'm sick of the world as it  is, and I could stand nothing less than  to be seen making myself miserable for  another human being. I see no purpose,  and therefore no reason to do anything  except politics. I wish to stop  speaking out and finally have enough  leverage to raise a foot, that I may  bring it down upon the problems of this  nation. I would make it my goal to  bring the arguments that have been  hassling out courts to the forefront,  that we may finally get a decision and  send the rioters and protesters home,  one way or another. Life is hard enough  without incompetant men and women  working as our ruling counsils. I say  we stop the shit, and let me step up  for a day, that we might finally end  our grievances. and death to those whom  shall stand in my way. ]]></description>
                <author>~garn</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Some time in may 2:</title>
                <link>http://garn.deviantart.com/journal/2415079/</link>
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                <pubDate>Wed, 12 May 2004 16:41:39 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Ignore that last one, it's got nothing  on it. Anyway, I think i'm going to  write an honest journal today, rather  than just rant about violence etc. As  stated abouve, my name is Jon. Where I  live does does not concern you, but if  you're reading this what I'm up to  certainly does. I am currently  suffering some kind of exaustion, and  feel almost like I have mono... but  without the high temperature. My sister  is out of school, my brother is happily  married and in his own house. No kids  for him yet, but when they come I'll  finally be Uncle Jon! I have nice  friends down here, although I'll be the  first to admit that I'm not as thankful  as I should be. I've got a bit of a God  complex, so as far as I'm concerned, if  you haven't earned my respect you don't  deserve to live. I'm very pro-choice,  although I'm not all for killing  children (except when I have to stand  in line behind the twins who won't stop  crying). I just feel that some things  don't concern the public, and abortion  is one of them. Let the woman decide  and shut the hell up. I enjoy Maddox's  personal web site (monkeymofo.com,  click on "explosions") and other  satires. I like to think of myself as  the half-assed satirist, who has just  stopped caring about every little  thing. As far as I am concerned,  nothing can't be solved by pointing a  gun to someone's face and giving an  order, and I'm suprised we haven't just  started doing just that to get the  drugs, illegal weapons, etc. that  plauge out society. I say shoot the  perps and bill their family for the  bullet. What else are they going to do  with that extra 5-25 cents, buy crack?  The lower classed societ burns me up  the most. It's not because they're  poor, and it's not every one of them.  It's the ones who get on welfare, and  just mooch off of tax payers. I turn 18  next year, and don't intend on paying  for some imigrants who came here  illegaly whom I also don't know simply  becuase our politicians want to make  themselves look good to the  "minorities". You know how minorities  are made? When others name them  minorities. Blacks, hispanics, and  Irish aren't minorities any more then  white males are. Get over it.<br />
While my policies are a bit high  strung, I am a nice guy. I'm very  genorous if you just ask me for money,  rather than simly taking it. I  understand a lot more than other  people, as I tend to think things  through. I have an open mind, and my  opinions are changed almost daily,  except for the ones stated above. <br />
Lastly, I love this country, even if  theer are a lot of stupid people in  power. If ]]></description>
                <author>~garn</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Devious Journal Entry</title>
                <link>http://garn.deviantart.com/journal/2415077/</link>
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                <pubDate>Wed, 12 May 2004 16:41:37 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[  ]]></description>
                <author>~garn</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Devious Journal Entry</title>
                <link>http://garn.deviantart.com/journal/2415076/</link>
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                <pubDate>Wed, 12 May 2004 16:41:37 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[  ]]></description>
                <author>~garn</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Devious Journal Entry</title>
                <link>http://garn.deviantart.com/journal/2415073/</link>
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                <pubDate>Wed, 12 May 2004 16:41:21 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[  ]]></description>
                <author>~garn</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Some time in may 2:</title>
                <link>http://garn.deviantart.com/journal/2415071/</link>
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                <pubDate>Wed, 12 May 2004 16:40:36 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Ignore that last one, it's got nothing  on it. Anyway, I think i'm going to  write an honest journal today, rather  than just rant about violence etc. As  stated abouve, my name is Jon. Where I  live does does not concern you, but if  you're reading this what I'm up to  certainly does. I am currently  suffering some kind of exaustion, and  feel almost like I have mono... but  without the high temperature. My sister  is out of school, my brother is happily  married and in his own house. No kids  for him yet, but when they come I'll  finally be Uncle Jon! I have nice  friends down here, although I'll be the  first to admit that I'm not as thankful  as I should be. I've got a bit of a God  complex, so as far as I'm concerned, if  you haven't earned my respect you don't  deserve to live. I'm very pro-choice,  although I'm not all for killing  children (except when I have to stand  in line behind the twins who won't stop  crying). I just feel that some things  don't concern the public, and abortion  is one of them. Let the woman decide  and shut the hell up. I enjoy Maddox's  personal web site (monkeymofo.com,  click on "explosions") and other  satires. I like to think of myself as  the half-assed satirist, who has just  stopped caring about every little  thing. As far as I am concerned,  nothing can't be solved by pointing a  gun to someone's face and giving an  order, and I'm suprised we haven't just  started doing just that to get the  drugs, illegal weapons, etc. that  plauge out society. I say shoot the  perps and bill their family for the  bullet. What else are they going to do  with that extra 5-25 cents, buy crack?  The lower classed societ burns me up  the most. It's not because they're  poor, and it's not every one of them.  It's the ones who get on welfare, and  just mooch off of tax payers. I turn 18  next year, and don't intend on paying  for some imigrants who came here  illegaly whom I also don't know simply  becuase our politicians want to make  themselves look good to the  "minorities". You know how minorities  are made? When others name them  minorities. Blacks, hispanics, and  Irish aren't minorities any more then  white males are. Get over it.<br />
While my policies are a bit high  strung, I am a nice guy. I'm very  genorous if you just ask me for money,  rather than simly taking it. I  understand a lot more than other  people, as I tend to think things  through. I have an open mind, and my  opinions are changed almost daily,  except for the ones stated above. <br />
Lastly, I love this country, even if  theer are a lot of stupid people in  power. If anyone decided they want to  be a rebel by not voting or any other  retarded thing like that, go ahead. But  know that, as far as I'm concerned,  you're a failure as a human being, and  as an American. If you don't like it,  then leave. ]]></description>
                <author>~garn</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Some time in may 2:</title>
                <link>http://garn.deviantart.com/journal/2415069/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://garn.deviantart.com/journal/2415069/</guid>
                <pubDate>Wed, 12 May 2004 16:40:20 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Ignore that last one, it's got nothing  on it. Anyway, I think i'm going to  write an honest journal today, rather  than just rant about violence etc. As  stated abouve, my name is Jon. Where I  live does does not concern you, but if  you're reading this what I'm up to  certainly does. I am currently  suffering some kind of exaustion, and  feel almost like I have mono... but  without the high temperature. My sister  is out of school, my brother is happily  married and in his own house. No kids  for him yet, but when they come I'll  finally be Uncle Jon! I have nice  friends down here, although I'll be the  first to admit that I'm not as thankful  as I should be. I've got a bit of a God  complex, so as far as I'm concerned, if  you haven't earned my respect you don't  deserve to live. I'm very pro-choice,  although I'm not all for killing  children (except when I have to stand  in line behind the twins who won't stop  crying). I just feel that some things  don't concern the public, and abortion  is one of them. Let the woman decide  and shut the hell up. I enjoy Maddox's  personal web site (monkeymofo.com,  click on "explosions") and other  satires. I like to think of myself as  the half-assed satirist, who has just  stopped caring about every little  thing. As far as I am concerned,  nothing can't be solved by pointing a  gun to someone's face and giving an  order, and I'm suprised we haven't just  started doing just that to get the  drugs, illegal weapons, etc. that  plauge out society. I say shoot the  perps and bill their family for the  bullet. What else are they going to do  with that extra 5-25 cents, buy crack?  The lower classed societ burns me up  the most. It's not because they're  poor, and it's not every one of them.  It's the ones who get on welfare, and  just mooch off of tax payers. I turn 18  next year, and don't intend on paying  for some imigrants who came here  illegaly whom I also don't know simply  becuase our politicians want to make  themselves look good to the  "minorities". You know how minorities  are made? When others name them  minorities. Blacks, hispanics, and  Irish aren't minorities any more then  white males are. Get over it.<br />
While my policies are a bit high  strung, I am a nice guy. I'm very  genorous if you just ask me for money,  rather than simly taking it. I  understand a lot more than other  people, as I tend to think things  through. I have an open mind, and my  opinions are changed almost daily,  except for the ones stated above. <br />
Lastly, I love this country, even if  theer are a lot of stupid people in  power. If anyone decided they want to  be a rebel by not voting or any other  retarded thing like that, go ahead. But  know that, as far as I'm concerned,  you're a failure as a human being, and  as an American. If you don't like it,  then leave. ]]></description>
                <author>~garn</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Some time in may:</title>
                <link>http://garn.deviantart.com/journal/2415054/</link>
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                <pubDate>Wed, 12 May 2004 16:24:06 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[  ]]></description>
                <author>~garn</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Devious Journal Entry</title>
                <link>http://garn.deviantart.com/journal/2360439/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://garn.deviantart.com/journal/2360439/</guid>
                <pubDate>Tue, 04 May 2004 17:50:38 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ So I shot someone in the foot the other  day, and the strangest thing happened.  Not only did they have the fortitude to  reiterate to me the fact that I had  shot them, they also told me where I  shot them. So I hanged them on a meat  hook to think about what they did.  Evidently he did a lot of thinking,  what with all the noise he was making.  The guy sounded like a disemboweled  horse with an artifial larynx. I felt  like a friggen Roman stuck on watch  next to a crucification. I sure hope  Jesus didn't make that much noise! ]]></description>
                <author>~garn</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>blood?!</title>
                <link>http://garn.deviantart.com/journal/2110115/</link>
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                <pubDate>Mon, 29 Mar 2004 16:19:22 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Have you ever seen virgin's blood? I  know it's hard to find now-a-days, but  the stuff's great for grease stains!  and it eats right through rust like a  hot knife through... let's not get into  that. <br />
I mean, the stuff can do almost as much  as duct tape. Put it in a baggy for an  afternoon snack, or perhaps as a bit of  fun-time makeup? I mean let's face it,  the stuff doesn't wash off worth crap.  And speaking of crap, have a messy  spouse? Just a cup-full of the stuff'll  make any mess dissappear? Where does it  go? I dunno, I'm just an announcer.<br />
Now you may be asking yourself, "Hey  mister announcer, what am I supposed to  do then that damned virgin's outta  blood?" Well virgins make great hood  ornaments, and you can even hang your  coats on em! Just don't get any blood  in your eyes. You'll go strai to hell  you hethan bastard you!<br />
So get yourself some virgin blood,  today!! ]]></description>
                <author>~garn</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>a</title>
                <link>http://garn.deviantart.com/journal/2003758/</link>
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                <pubDate>Sat, 13 Mar 2004 09:32:39 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Haven't done much on Deviant lately.  Probably because  of allergies. On new  medication for it, called Clarinex.  Seems to be working and all, yet now I  have this insasiable apetite for the  blood of virgins.<br />
Bit my lip yesterday. It tasted a  little to good to not be unsettling.  Have a sinus infection. Hate how the  internet seems to rob humans of their  ability to spell. Some guy called me an  "azzhole" the other day. That's bot  even an abreviation/contraction. There  was no reazon for it being spelled that  way, unless he was russian and just  really bad at speaking English. Damn  forigners (can't spell that so I won't  try). ]]></description>
                <author>~garn</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Devious Journal Entry</title>
                <link>http://garn.deviantart.com/journal/1946910/</link>
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                <pubDate>Wed, 03 Mar 2004 17:44:09 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ You know the sad thing? Most of those  pageviews are from me... ]]></description>
                <author>~garn</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>uh... o.o;</title>
                <link>http://garn.deviantart.com/journal/1555758/</link>
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                <pubDate>Fri, 19 Dec 2003 08:28:28 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ So I was busy doing stuff on DA, when i  realised I don't have any art(!!!!!).  so, um.. if you like reading about a  commy's rants, then good for you! i'd  give you a cookie, but i'm diabetic and  sugar kills people like me.. at least  that's what a school nurse thought a  few years ago. But she's dead now, so  everything's okay! but anyhoo, that's  about it, so.. I guess i'l keep writing  until I gets me a scanner! <br />
(and start drawing.. x.x<img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/w/wink.gif" width="15" height="15" alt=";)" title=";) (Wink)" /> ]]></description>
                <author>~garn</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>here i am!</title>
                <link>http://garn.deviantart.com/journal/668026/</link>
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                <pubDate>Mon, 28 Apr 2003 11:26:09 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ well people it's finaly happened! i've been released onto the world..  now all i need is a comercial beak and my face on a weaties box, and  i'l be in bussiness! ^-^'<br>
well anyhoo, as you can (hopefuly) read abouve, i'm feeling pretty  cynical right now, don't know what that means? well look it up! (and  then tell me!) some people think  imature and crazy. i think they  should sit on it and twist before i stabe them with a beach ball and/or  blugeon (my favoite word!) them with a spatula. well, i should probably  stop now before the SWAT team busts down my door and attempts kinky  butt sex on me.. guess i should invest in a butt plug? what is a butt  plug, anyway? some look it up please, tha'd be juust greeeeat! (and in  case your wonering if i stole this name from a special little  height-impared fellow, i hope you recognise the humor! ::big grin:<img src="http://images.deviantart.com/emoticons/icon_smile.gif" align="middle" alt=":) (Smile)" title=":) (Smile)" border="0" /> ]]></description>
                <author>~garn</author>
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