http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:gmonkai&section=today deviantART RSS for by:gmonkai en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Sun, 20 Dec 2009 12:13:10 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/8953844/ http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/8953844/ Sat, 15 Jul 2006 03:45:57 PDT
Mood: contemplative
Listening to: tra la la

If I miss you forgive me...I try to keep it to those I perceive as "active"...and I'll edit and amend when I see changes...



I'm posting mainly to scrappies,as in big training phase...

Pariahs in the mud ...no altitude...we get as we give ...and smell like everyone else ...

]]> ~gmonkai http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/8880047/ http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/8880047/ Tue, 30 May 2006 02:24:55 PDT
Mood: contemplative
Listening to: tra la la

Moved ten of my works to the Hammond-after a friend's persuasion to do so...and waiting to see,if their word is kept...over there [link]

Threw a practice sculpting session in z-brush up to my scraps...the start-and then angles on what I ended up with...an incan [link]

Is one of the things I've been up to.. and another practice scrap of some CG clouds in Max [link]

and newer...so this add edit to journal...sheez!!!Scraps sure don't get many full views...unless the ticker here doesn't count right...I have my suspicions...[link]

]]> ~gmonkai http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/8839653/ http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/8839653/ Sun, 21 May 2006 22:12:00 PDT
Mood: contemplative
Listening to: tra la la

Sorry I've been so scarce and innattentive!...Just felt I needed to focus and forge some new ground in some progs...getting there..can't promise to be more attentive-but I'll try

]]> ~gmonkai http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/8559133/ http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/8559133/ Sun, 23 Apr 2006 09:17:11 PDT Got that? Good...

Mood: contemplative
Listening to: tra la la

I have been tagged twice by ...so two birds-one stone here!

6 odd things moi:

1.I am ambidexterous with my feet as well as my hands...I often am doing embroidery with my toes,while my hands are engaging in 3d rendering on my computer...
2.Whereas I like bugs,arachnids and insects-I respect their space-and in return ask that they respect mine...
3. I abuse my right to "..."As e.cummings disliked his shift key..."..." is my pause,trailing off into nothingness,comma-etc...I am glad grammarians never seem to call me out on it...One must fight for one's right to dot dot dot...
4.I find that the peurile elevates my sensibilities...
5.I prefer my fluids tepid...
6."Behind every Octopus mask,there is a level of Neptunian consciousness"...this my favorite Jacques Cousteaus quote...albeit not on the public record...

OK...now to tag six I haven't noticed as recently tagged,so I can enjoy their eccentricities... ]]> ~gmonkai http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/8433128/ http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/8433128/ Sun, 16 Apr 2006 19:55:31 PDT Mood: contemplative

Check out these galleries:



...and any that are inactive for an aeon!...I'll be glad to add when I'm seeing you around some...come down the mud be with us!...We are all of us in the gutter...some of us are lookin' at the sun(hmm-Chrissie Heins-was it said before her?)

Incessant prattle?...The peurile and nonsensical?...You will find me to be an outspoken exponent thereof...and a maudlin and sentimental advocate to all the fidel...

]]> ~gmonkai http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/8359177/ http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/8359177/ Mon, 03 Apr 2006 23:21:53 PDT
Mood: contemplative

Okay...trying again...gals invited too...surreal writing session...


journal....we could use all the abstract ramblers we can find...having too much fun by ourselves...

jump in:

[link]
[link]
[link]
[link]

no prizes...sorry...just nonlinear irrationality sought as an ends in itself...a festival of word salad...

]]> ~gmonkai http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/8242007/ http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/8242007/ Thu, 23 Mar 2006 00:44:19 PST
Mood: contemplative

journal....we could use all the abstract ramblers we can find...having too much fun by ourselves...

Those willing to slap the roshi's face to help him find the "sound of one hand clapping"...et al...are obcourse invited! ]]> ~gmonkai http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/8204781/ http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/8204781/ Tue, 21 Mar 2006 16:36:24 PST
Mood: contemplative



The secret remedy to angst and boredom,has and always will be giving in some measure that which you wish,and will in the future wish to receive... ]]> ~gmonkai http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/8090037/ http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/8090037/ Tue, 07 Mar 2006 03:38:39 PST
Mood: contemplative

...But my main system is healed...and most of its installs are done...and,finally it is driving two monitors(anyone curious on the muddled details can read my response to Gigantor here [link] )...and to boot,a new system(which I ordered in the midst of all this milieu) has arrived...is set up...and now just needs the replication of all the installs and authorizations I was doing to my main system last week...
So I am more or less as happy as a bug driving a spaceship again(with my three computers[counting my Mac]..and four monitors)...and will be even happier in a week or so,when all installs are done-and things resume to pure learning curve and output again!!!!

Ends a little odyssey of a riddle that has been unresolved(cures attempted-but mixed results)...since 8-05!!!...but over a week driving my main system again-and I can tell the "bluescreens" are entirely gone...can even start pushing the film endeavours again!

The secret remedy to angst and boredom,has and always will be giving in some measure that which you wish,and will in the future wish to receive... ]]> ~gmonkai http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/7997143/ http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/7997143/ Sat, 25 Feb 2006 08:10:46 PST
Mood: contemplative

I am not out of the weeds yet...still have a dual monitor display issue-that if not resolved may require a tech to come out again and replace my vidcard...still troubleshooting this on possible driver issues,etc...and there will be huge app restorations ahead...but glad to announce-that for once I am peeking in on my old system!...YIPPEEEE!

The secret remedy to angst and boredom,has and always will be giving in some measure that which you wish,and will in the future wish to receive... ]]> ~gmonkai http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/7821050/ http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/7821050/ Mon, 06 Feb 2006 17:07:21 PST
Mood: contemplative

Some of you may recall "issues" I was having on my main system a few months back...Well in actuality they never resolved...in fact in a few days,I'll be having a tech come out to replace my motherboard and RAM stick...very fortunately under full warranty...and as a consequence of telephone tech support that had me virtually taking apart my computer to do the varied tests and diagnostics....in fact this entry is being made on my Mac...The browser for da sucks on this Mac...it is suggested that I do a "safari" upgrade to my Mac-for better "browsing" of da-which in turn would require an operating system upgrade....something I'm not willing to do-as I have this system exactly configured as I like it for the many audio apps,and few graphics apps I run over here...
I'm glad I'm getting a free new motherboard,and I'll be building forward from a "clean and install" at that point hopefully....there is the possibility that it may still not be a "full" fix...and that a second tech on site visit may be necessary to replace a vidcard or something,we will see....peeking in I see I am falling behind on viewing much and commenting...I just don't want to do it on this Mac...so bare with me-it may be a couple of weeks and I will catch up on all on the system I am more "browsing" comfortable with....Sorry I'm falling back-and I'll catch up with all of you soon!

The secret remedy to angst and boredom,has and always will be giving in some measure that which you wish,and will in the future wish to receive... ]]> ~gmonkai http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/7700502/ http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/7700502/ Wed, 25 Jan 2006 00:34:23 PST
Mood: contemplative

Okay,I know they were a big money band...but I always found them rather mundane...Must say I have never owned a 'Who' album...Is funny cause years later I read this post 'Boomer' editorial...that ranted on the Boomers...it said "they were the first generation that had the distinction of first scapegoating their parents,and then years later...likewise scapegoating their own kids...lol

Still I've known plenty of Boomers(though the pattern had some definite demographic validities)...that weren't really fitting that culpa...yet this predecessing group(preceding me) were definitely the most smug that ever were on a "generational vanity"...I can imagine future living spaces that strictly exclude my age group...too young and selfhonest to be smug-"it's all our fault"...and too old to repeat their elders mistakes...so they get their teeth kicked in by both...the new ones that want to echo that group too...

Not trying to cause a big sensation....lmao

The secret remedy to angst and boredom,has and always will be giving in some measure that which you wish,and will in the future wish to receive... ]]> ~gmonkai http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/7688581/ http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/7688581/ Mon, 23 Jan 2006 18:47:21 PST
Mood: contemplative

Yet on the whole,a needed occasional computer hygiene...lol!...thus I approach this operation...

All requisite datas backed up...but a monster rebuild...to initialize many plugs,etc... ]]> ~gmonkai http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/7635633/ http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/7635633/ Wed, 18 Jan 2006 01:44:25 PST
Mood: contemplative

I first encountered this in paperback form in 1997...an underground publication that did not receive a big printing...Four years later(and having long ago returned the paperback to the lender owner)I finally got my first computer...I was delighted to see it was online in its entirety...
When I read it...I found it to be an opus I found closest in style to my own four books than anything I'd ever seen(regarding my own four literaries-they continue being source materials for planned film and serial projects)...
It is hard to sit and read an online print...at least IMO...and stable underpinnings of comparative religion,and philosophy can make these disconnected essays even more interesting IMO...but they are fine works...
Searching "Hakim Bey",today for first time in awhile...I notice there is a resurgence of interest in his work...and new links seem to suggest he is getting new printings,and recognition as the poet and philosopher that he is...
It is interesting to speculate at what age he may have written this...obcourse age is a state of mind...but I always liked that his flowing style suggested no falsely contrived little cult of self....and echoes with the zen of a selffound installation artist...
Even if he was a tenyearold when he wrote it...I find him to be "ancient" in the good sense of this word(which to me means beyond partitions and petty narcissisms)...(gmonkai here grimace-yawns with a weariness here at the perpetual immaturity pervading all life-but recovers with a smile recognizing the reciprocating "ancientness" that pervades some small percentage of all youth)
The top link here "Temporary Autonomous Zone"...the work I'm referring to...from there the tractates are splendid and many varied...but the links on the front sheet lead to other interesting links of his other works as well...

[link]

"welcome home,misplaced son,what you been doing while we were gone?/The cocktail party's in gear,we're so glad that you're here...why don't you sit down!!!" Fugazi/circa 1995/midwestern straightedge punk-'Out of the ashtray/Into the ashtray'

PS-to narcissists:we'll all sit awaiting in impatient suspense for you to offer up something so ecclipsing us and validating our irrelevance...or if you fail in your aspiration...nonetheless,we the meek will be waiting in the mud beneath your pedestal...there is no condescension down here...come down in the mud and be with us!

Challenge!-out ]]> ~gmonkai http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/7569283/ http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/7569283/ Tue, 10 Jan 2006 22:16:07 PST Mood: contemplative

Check out these cool galleries

Fidelity is an amalgamum that makes our endeavours woth the while... ]]> ~gmonkai http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/7423503/ http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/7423503/ Mon, 26 Dec 2005 14:46:31 PST Mood: contemplative

Devotion is making a mountain peak with your best wind instrument(and the bit of water you will need)...and playing your best concert in full faith that the song will be used as the universe needs....

Detachment is speaking your mind in those circumstances when you know it will add to a collective consciousness...and will make you perceived as a fool...

Compassion is not speaking half of what you are given to see...but confining oneself to the little that may add to awareness...for shadows are a balm in a universe where utter honesty would be an inferno...

]]> ~gmonkai http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/7323883/ http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/7323883/ Fri, 16 Dec 2005 00:08:43 PST
Mood: contemplative

You...and you alone are the final filter thru which every stimulus passes before it is filed and given it's significance in the library of your neurons and dendrites...
There are so many schools in this life...nature is a school,people are a school,books are a school...yet,guess what?You are your only teacher!

So what the professor wants to teach you as he is standing upon his podium...he will be lucky if it is haphazardly what he means you to absorb...Because if you take note of what you take to be a key phrase,before filing it away in the repository of your own consciousness....it will bind itself among your associations to your own unique subjectivity...

For example...he says "dog"...he is thinking of his doberman...I am thinking of a spotted mutt that was affectionately my first pet...


So when you are cramming for the final....crash speedreading all that stuff you should have been keeping up with all semester...and perchance you highlight and retain the exact phrase asked about in the exam...Lucky you...you taught yourself something useful!

Sitting by a river we may watch nature...and perhaps teach ourselves volumes...perhaps shamans perceiving things differently accomplish this...And if even the guru engages me in some Socratic discourse or another...it may be wise to retain...at root,I am my own teacher...All the world is but a vast stimulus/response test...and at the end...all that it distills down to is what I have managed to teach myself...

And another may fish out of his pocket some ordinary object of choice...and if he systematically absorbs himself in the right questions..he may find some universal answers...Looking it over...he may ask...What is it's source?...What is it's origin?...What is it's significance?...where is it from?...If he ponders them deeply enough perhaps they(his questions)will take him to a oneness...he is his own teacher...

There are a myriad of little "I"'s within each of ourselves...There is a little I that is hungy....there is a little I that is humming a favorite song when you are reading a favorite book...They(the many little "I"'s) compete for our attention...and the one currently engaging us is the one we mistake for ourself....this is where the ego is intersecting with a current drive....but even down beneath this...there is one true I...that is your one and only teacher...

Does this mean that we are at best misunderstood signals to one another...like a chaotic smoke swirling over a clean mirror?..Lol...yes...somewhat it means this...But there is a power in that you alone will give the smoke shape and meaning...and besides there is much beauty in the midst to see...So take consolation in the fact...that you and you alone are your only teacher!

Be as you breathe...there is a pattern in breathing quite beyond us,yet very much within us...when it is a guide,then the universe is guiding your intentions...hamsa ]]> ~gmonkai http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/7266039/ http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/7266039/ Fri, 09 Dec 2005 15:01:39 PST
Mood: contemplative

Last time I was back...I had come off from doing some Mac work...and to this system...which I knew had problems...finally got it fully remedied at the comp shop...so I'm back for real this time...and will catch up on all!Sorry if I have missed you!

Be as you breathe...there is a pattern in breathing quite beyond us,yet very much within us...when it is a guide,then the universe is guiding your intentions...hamsa ]]> ~gmonkai http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/6364985/ http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/6364985/ Mon, 29 Aug 2005 23:58:48 PDT
Mood: contemplative

Not sure how much of this stuff,I'm gonna want to share...as it is my eventual plan to be earning my livelihood by this stuff...but I suspect there will be some...but as da doesn't have ul'ing of movies,suspect I'll be confined to dl links...

For any curious,here is a little 12.5 sec dl "zip"...of just a piece of eyecandy whipped up w/one of my homepage ID images...but warn you...it is meager...is not 3d woven(except in some degree involving the affect)w/motion or anything...as is the much more complex piece I am orchestrating at present...so qualifies as an ID scrap more or less IMO...

[link]

Be as you breathe...there is a pattern in breathing quite beyond us,yet very much within us...when it is a guide,then the universe is guiding your intentions...hamsa ]]> ~gmonkai http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/6320508/ http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/6320508/ Wed, 24 Aug 2005 23:33:59 PDT
Mood: contemplative

"The 100th monkey"...as best I recall,was something I encountered in a Freshman Psychology course...that postulated the reality of "collective consciousness"(or so I extended from years of Jungian studies)...
It was as I recall based on real biological observations in the field(yet someone more informed and recently familarized with the case is most welcome to elaborate and expand)of an isolated colony of monkeys on an island(Pacific?)...where the indigenous monkeys began meticulously washing their yams in the saltwater of the ocean...for spice and taste...Eventually monkeys on other islands quite distinct and separate and not in any way open to migration developed the same habit...

Makes one ponder the process of what makes things become "fashionable" among primates...there are myriads of parallels in patented technologies(such as the patent disputes between Tesla and Marconi regarding the invention of radio)...Inventions seem almost midwifed into this world in a "timely" way...and there are numerous examples of autonomous designs for various applications coming into design at more or less the same time...

Despite the scars and abuses of fission nuclear energy(which by it's nature yields hazardous wasteproducts with radioactive halflives lasting over a thousand years)...I am glad that globally the zeal to apply that technology diminished in the late seventies,eighties,and nineties...and I am chagrined to see Bush and his cronies pushing to implement it again...

Fusion on the other hand(much harder to accomplish and harness)could potentially create energy in abundance with no hazardous byproducts...would be nice if some of the monies of our taxpaying dollars,that are being poured into research for unmanned predator drones,and penetrating bunker busting bombs...were instead poured into "fusion research" and the space program for tanking down hydrogen for applied "hydrogen cell" technology...

Does anyone watching the History channel,and varied media these days feel like me?that they are watching Leni Reiffenstahl films(the award winning films that propagandized the Third Reich)...should we be developing this massive cultural pride about being able to kill most efficiently?

And who is benefiting from securing the Lion's share of reserves of dirty-burning airfilthing petrochemicals?Are they creating any wealth legacies for themselves with shortages as inevitably the tap goes dry?Sometimes I feel like Kahlil Gibran when he wrote "dead are my countrymen"...shame on you who elected this transparently selfish and oldworld regime who can potentially bring on the doom of all of us in more than one way...One's skin,metal craft.and suit would melt long before one could ever land on Venus..."Global warming" and "Greenhouse Effect" are no cute scenarios....

Telescopes are discovering numerous large planets beyond our solar system...but so far none inhabitable...and the uninhabitable discoveries are many lightyears away...It would seem from all we know,that our Earth is a relatively rare combination...

Do you crap where you eat?...Why accept an energy source that does this to the atmosphere?...Why consent and reelect a government that perpetuates it?

Be as you breathe...there is a pattern in breathing quite beyond us,yet very much within us...when it is a guide,then the universe is guiding your intentions...hamsa ]]> ~gmonkai http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/6278238/ http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/6278238/ Sat, 20 Aug 2005 09:38:40 PDT
Mood: contemplative

Sitting here trying to get one of my many 3d apps to behave,and come out of a glitch...Have two days work in just setting up a background...between 3d progs,and Photoshop and tying in some stock photo elements I own(I rarely use photo-but giving myself a break-they are so much easier to use than 3d)...perhaps I should expand...one sets up rather complex lighting sets in scenes...Even with large CPU and RAM,many scenes can get so deep and complex..that the renderer cannot handle all the meshes...so there comes this disciplined tedious ordeal of deleting elements of a saved scene...rendering part of it,reloading it,deleting another,rendering...there is no choce-as one must plan this out in order to keep shadows and reflections relating to the complex lighting one has staged in a scene...so often when a non3d artisan comments "simple"-they know not whereof they speak..lol..
But even in this case with the ease of a few stock photo elements woven in,this current one still orchestrates a ton of 3d...and now rendering separately the many foreground figures...and afterwards,into PS to fix them...yes-anatomically fix them...meshes behave imperfectly often...like the hip on the main figure in 'Yielding' totally had to be redone by hand...luckily with twenty years of devotion to painting life figures-I know how to fix them...and in PS that is always comboed out with,paint,smudge,and clone(in detail picking similar goosepimples shadings,lol!)
Ah forty one years of age now...have attained one goal of over a hundred online static works showing now(between my two galleries)...and have decided to push to supplant my nine posts of February as my busiest posting da month-with ten works in August...then,it will be on hiatus for posting static images...and fulltime devotion to making full motion CG films-my goal all along...as I have tons of saved partial scenes...I have tons of stuff to set to motion,soundscore,and nonlinear edit out the final CG product...
I am honestly quite tired of the fickleness of many folks also...to the steady types-I'll still stay a loyal viewer and commenter...I do so at my old gallery even though I don't post here muchArtist are frail souls..and the world would be better if they did not hesitate to encourage and support each other...Some convince themselves that they "crit" because they are more "honest" than the rest of us...they lie to themselves...they do it for an ego boost-hurting someone puffs them up...and also because they are simply meanspirited...lol,sorry but that is how I see it...and I mean this even about "honeyed poison" remarks...They usually start like..."I like this but..."
Artists post mostly because they want recognition and encouragement from one another...Many that say,"and tell me what is wrong".are the very ones that get hurt most deeply...they have some inner sadomasochist tendency if they set themselves up that way...
I let people comment freely...but look back at the ones I got and you'll see I likewise observed my right to fireback...but not in their galleries-that is petty-just on my own ground...
Saying something is dark and depressing is not a crit...It means it is darkly moving and is a credit to the artist...Age is relative..by forty I have seen seventy year olds who never grew up..and are mean,selfish,and self absorbed...and teens who are wisened and deep as an old oak...one of these comments my gallery regularly...
If you have been in the arts as long as me...you are not looking at all for teachers or pointers(having a respected friend IM you about an obvious lapse like a texture seam that one overloked due to tiredness is entirely another matter)...but rather you hang in an online gallery as you would on a wall...just sharing your process hopefully with the likeminded...
As for the fickle,I have no time for them or their ego contests...I hope they grow up some day...They will find that the world gives them back in some measure what they enjoy giving...if not in equa measure of appreciation-then maybe in some other form...like a fine working set of tools...
I enjoy watching and appreciating people's process...and those of you who I deeply appreciate...I'll still be steady for your galleries...in fact it will be my pleasure-even when I'm immersed in film and hardly creating any static cmps to post...

Be as you breathe...there is a pattern in breathing quite beyond us,yet very much within us...when it is a guide,then the universe is guiding your intentions...hamsa ]]> ~gmonkai http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/6254834/ http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/6254834/ Wed, 17 Aug 2005 17:51:54 PDT
Mood: contemplative

The biological genus of "insects"is distinguished by the mutability(adaptibility)of it's dna...no small wonder then that it held a strong place in the varied "Earth" faiths that practiced shamanism...by "earth faiths" I mean the varied earth religions that held in common drumming,ancestral worship,and the belief that everything both animate and inanimate possessed medicine(ie.:spirit,kami,mojo,etc.)...from the Hopi 'Fifth World' creation mythos that envisioned prior worlds populated with ants and flies,to the Irish Ceridwen mythos of the evanescent May fly,to the modern Haatian loas of "ti pied milles" and Limbi,and even the Tibetan Mahadurga Mahadakini(compounded to Antares-the alpha star of Scorpio)...the insect orders held venerable positions in these belief systems...by extension in Rabbinical Qabalistic analysis of the shadow of Eden-Beelzebub has always been compounded with a fly astrosophically linked as an octave of Mercury and Uranus as octaves of one another...and here I should adjust my first statement that uses a past tense-as although these varied indigenous earth faiths I mentioned are not well censused-many are modern and healthy living traditions...
And alas we come upon Gregor Samsa(to any Kafka fans)...Greedy gluttonous Baron Limbi...in the pantheon of vices that keep us alive(and in the pantheistic anthropomorphisism of these orders-they were not always viewed as sympathetic to the travails of humanity-but rather were simply viewed as forces of nature)...the simple roach...
What a survivor!...becoming albino and blind...yielding melanin and sight sense-in exchange for acuity of other senses to become a rare thriving being in a cave habitat far from the light...
What wonders we might behold if we were allowed freely to peruse the varied circuits of consciousness in the Gaiaa computer!

insects,bones,and time.....hmmmm ]]> ~gmonkai http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/6211251/ http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/6211251/ Fri, 12 Aug 2005 20:58:07 PDT
Mood: content

An old school taught that the circle and dot stood for the processes of creation...the cup and chalice...for preservation...and the cross for putrefication...

We feed the body three things...food,sensual impressions,and breath...The endeavours of men are mostly concerned with two of these...Without purpose,Sidhana drifted to the graveyards...among the khus and whispering shades(pratekas)...and here he began to study his breath...and to study the ignored processes of dissolution...the way things recline and become unmade...the way things "give way"...to become other things....He was one with the soil before he rose...the sediment of ages a dross to be wiped from his eyes...and he walked into a postarmagedion landscape...dodging hurried traffic...breathing exhaust fumes...the meek had finally inherited a wasteland...Sidhana walked on....

excerpt from the first of four books I wrote beginning '95...perhaps innaccurate...as I am reciting from memory...but hardcopies are near... ]]> ~gmonkai http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/6143882/ http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/6143882/ Fri, 05 Aug 2005 17:32:36 PDT
Mood: content

It is like awakening like a Salvador Dali and saying,"What shall I create today!"

3d has a pleasant madness permeating it! ]]> ~gmonkai http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/5926470/ http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/5926470/ Wed, 13 Jul 2005 19:20:42 PDT
Mood: content

And among these milliards of stars combusting for milleniums hydrogen and helium...the stuff of deep space...certain of these stars of significant magnitude would eventually shrink choke and combust new elements...in turn digesting these...and upon the third cycle of permutating new septenary elements...finally iron is created...the star-choking on this last element-finally goes supernova spewing out the elemental accretion of all being for the eventual planetary chains that will coalesce out of this space dust star stuff...

Somewhere in mystic raptures creation mythos writers see the Ophidian mercurial snake slithering forth between summer solstice and fall equinox...thus the twins beneath the tree...the serpent...permutating the Great Virgin...Utnapishtim...they jot their notes accordingly...Creations unravelled... ]]> ~gmonkai http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/5796002/ http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/5796002/ Wed, 29 Jun 2005 22:27:17 PDT
Mood: content

In art there is an apple and orange factor...Is an apple better than an orange?...An orange better than an apple?...Qualitatively they differ,but it is hard to say one is better than the other...Tools,vision,an eye,learning curves...regardless where individuals are in this process,I look across and see equals...When none of us are on a throne or a pedestal-then none of us are looking up each others skirts...lol!...In artist friends,I find both megalomaniac dispositions and selfdeprecating ones interesting...I don't try to change the way people express themselves...But fundamentally I do want everyone to believe in themselves strongly...

So for any that it might need saying...if I am looking and commenting your stuff...it is because I think it kicks ass...and I take for granted that you know it kicks ass! ]]> ~gmonkai http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/5646264/ http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/5646264/ Tue, 14 Jun 2005 12:20:07 PDT
Mood: content

All goals may be accomplished...let chimeras rail and rage as they may...rest assured-the goal will be attained!

A bit of time away from imagery,in order to orchestrate some new tunes... ]]> ~gmonkai http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/5576291/ http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/5576291/ Tue, 07 Jun 2005 03:04:44 PDT
Mood: exasperated

"Crash on render!
Crash on render!
A real mind bender!
Like receiving a letter,
Titled,Return to sender!"

"Dual 3G's processing!
Still life incessantly sings,
Crash on render!
The two-day comp!
Becomes the seven day saga!"

Try another app,
For orchestration of this raga!
Take a shower,before..
Rebooting out of freeze,
Stll not rendering.
Defragged,organized and clean!

Crash on render!
Crash on render!
Silicon mercy,
Is far from tender!

Just venting before another harsh reboot!LMAO ]]> ~gmonkai http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/5415985/ http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/5415985/ Fri, 20 May 2005 21:25:16 PDT
Mood: contemplative

We feed the body three things...food,sensual impressions,and breath...The endeavours of men are mostly concerned with two of these...Without purpose,Sidhana drifted to the graveyards...among the khus and whispering shades(pratekas)...and here he began to study his breath...and to study the ignored processes of dissolution...the way things recline and become unmade...the way things "give way"...to become other things....He was one with the soil before he rose...the sediment of ages a dross to be wiped from his eyes...and he walked into a postarmagedion landscape...dodging hurried traffic...breathing exhaust fumes...the meek had finally inherited a wasteland...Sidhana walked on....

excerpt from the first of four books I wrote beginning '95...perhaps innaccurate...as I am reciting from memory...but hardcopies are near... ]]> ~gmonkai http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/5048905/ http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/5048905/ Sun, 10 Apr 2005 06:34:18 PDT
Mood: waxing poetical

Did you chase the wind with me?
Was it you and I?
Who ventured off on laughter's wing,
And spanned the boundless sky?

'Rapt in mischief,did we not
Go slipping past the brow...
So furrowed white and ominous,
The scoffing pensive cloud?

Did we plunder misty heights,
And o'er mountains go?
Drinking drams of earthly sights,
Reeling past below?

Dancing on the azure blue,
In dalliance finding bliss...
Did I,the brazen child of sunlight,
Take from you a kiss?

Heeding not,the whispered lie..
That says,"You have to die."
Did you chase the wind with me?
Or was it only, I?

]]> ~gmonkai http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/5020473/ http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/5020473/ Wed, 06 Apr 2005 21:05:52 PDT
Mood: Martial
Listening to: 'Ministry'...'Animosity'

Gen X stepped out on to a desolate low wage landscape.finding the tax burden for the B-Boom had shifted their way...in my case the added irony of life making me an orphan...Xmas was always a solo event except for families among friends I made along the way...College would come much later and out of my own pocket...Life was a veritable moshpit that a martial will helped me survive...
At sixteen I was honored to be allowed to paint a wall in the science wing of my highschool...A few years later,not being able to afford the nice luxuries of of good paints and canvasses-I dabbled into(and yes I do daresay mastered)the thrifty artistic stylings of installation artistry...meaning no scrap left as junk at curbside-was not viewed for it's potential to be dragged home and converted to installation art...
Youth was a tour of duty in lowwage service professions...Twenty-six to Thirty-two my only wheels were buses or my mountain bike...
And music!!!...when I look at my external 32 channel EQ's,Protools,Les Paul,Strat.and Takamane bass,nice Sennhauser mikes,et al....the years of inbetween situations when curbside and downtown I clawed it out and fed myself with my one steelstring cutter are not forgotten...Drooling at windows at tools that appeared eternally beyond reach...pawning the few I did acquire to make a clutch rent...
I was thirty before I ever made 10K+ a year...and returning to school made straight 4.0's...
And now,four decades under my belt...an eight year investment brokerage career-that was lucrative-but I hated it-behind me...I finally have a vast digital pallette at my disposal-that I suspect Leonardo de Vinci would have died to have...

Tae Qwondo,Duhl duk Sooh,Tai Chi...and Aikido perhaps the finest among these(but this always depends on who it walks on)...and the way of the Sword most certainly carries into verbal exchanges...

As for those(and there are a few)who have said-they would appreciate it if I would crit them stronger!...An apology-a lifetime of fighting for means and freedom of artistic expression has made it hard for me to discourage such endeavours-because to me "imagination" is the highest wrung of evolution-and I encourage all such endeavours...As for those in between incomings that dish dis my way-I apologize to the givers that they don't make me doubt me..lol!...And,I check "allow all incoming"..but I don't check that I won't answer...as in the politic of moshpit-give me a slap-I may well slap you back...but if slapped back,don't drift away and lick wounds saying,"he can't take a crit!",because I take it,and I stand my graund!...but I confine this to the comment itself-and don't answer it with a troll...but I will view the gallery works from the incoming...and I may discern that the motivation is envy based "on product",or "upon tools"...or rarely-yet always considered-there may be something actually constructive in it...

You see,I have been at this awhile in many ways...so when it goes up,it represents me...that means I have deemed it worthy to represent me...that doesn't mean it is "perfect"...but it does mean I have tended to evaluate it on a lot of levels...and most yardsticks that can be applied have probably already been considered(realism is the most amusing "crit"-art doesn't need to have anything to do with realism!-so what realism is or is not there,is usually for me a clear matter of both choice and experiment-if you don't like the realism I have sacrificed for stronger compositional concerns-too bad!...or maybe my shit is damned good-but the crit will make you puff up...well too bad,I may not ignore it(you may feel small later)...

Belief in self is the prime ingredient...envy is a wasted emotional resource...better to take that same energy and redouble one's own creative efforts...verbal jousting is wasted,unless you're close enough to slap me...and be careful,because I can take a few to give a few...It's gratifying to be the standing party after a war of attrition..When I see art that I consider "high",it goads me further...and it never makes me doubt that I am up to achieving it's equal...

To youth,I say:"Don't take shit off people,or let them try to make you doubt yourself...and don't waste energy on any kind of envy...push your abilities to the limits with any means at your disposal!"..this I learned from decades when an ink bottle or a tossed piece of furniture was a score and artis... ]]> ~gmonkai http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/5014578/ http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/5014578/ Wed, 06 Apr 2005 08:41:50 PDT
Mood: Hmm

Yet exploring the terra infirmas that underpin all souls,and exploring the halflit phantoms flitting amongst the shadows is to me a worthy endeavour...In accord with Eric Fromm,I believe,"That which seems evil is vitality in need of transformation."Without shadow,light would mean blindness.
Any system of symbols is only as powerful as the understanding behind them and vesting them...and still yet,without a prowess of faith,they will be but jibberish...

The eerie,stirs a transformative emotional state...the perilous mask oft hides what will most heal us...let us dispose of status dualisms and explore! ]]> ~gmonkai http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/4688295/ http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/4688295/ Sun, 27 Feb 2005 21:04:46 PST
Mood: Hmm

The tantrics view the wholeness of one's life as one's highest artform...This perhaps infers a vanishingpoint few have had access too...My hand entering the photon path of a light particle travelling from a distant star...
And a sentient particle travelling this path...a linear life...a 2d life...What does it discern of me?Perhaps no being...but merely a shift of weather and season...
And if a trigonometric law of our consciousness trap shortcircuited our reason(Saturn's ring unhinged)...and we standing there mute and sudden viewing from this newfound fourth dimensional perspective...the wholeness of one's own life in a full continuum...from beginning to end...what would we modify?
A question:"Trigonometry say you!What have circle's laws to do with this?"...rebuttal:Ah,but remember every planet and star is but a particle when viewed from a larger perspective...Let Newton map the differential equations that describe these motions...

So from this point of view I think what we would most alter is our tendencies to be so superficial and trite...Perhaps we would say more concisely exactly what we mean...perhaps we would look deep into everything we see in order to derive more meaning...And leave off with trite courtesies...like:"like your work,barely looked at it though...just am anxious to have you come and be more absorbed in my narcissistic cult of self"...LMAO

There is a deep art in looking and seeing,and discerning something meaningful,and yes-actually in works of others- that is all too lost in this soundbyte age of the tiny selfabsorbed attention span! ]]> ~gmonkai http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/4481199/ http://gmonkai.deviantart.com/journal/4481199/ Wed, 02 Feb 2005 15:50:36 PST
Mood: Alive!...and Awake!

....that we are all the beneficiaries of a biological inheritance...opposing thumbs and a frontal lobe...comfortably separating us from most...yet indelibly we are imprinted by this heritage...and like amoebas we seek the comfortable and avoid the pain...comforting fantasies that like lullabyes hum us into numb and listless slumbers..."flesh never rends"..."we never will recline and become unmade"..."there is no mortal coil"..."we are not fragile"..."we will never go to the worm"...
But flesh does rend,we are all fragile and vulnerable,and we will all go to the worm,dissimilate,recline and become unmade...Sensing this is being "accountable"...sensing this is being awake and real!
Thirteen years ago trembling with strain from holding a deep stance Tai chi posture for an hour and a half...My Tai Chi instructor walked by me and said,"You are never as aware as you are when you are in pain!"
While no masochist...still I have found this to be a fundamental truth...

In art,give me the provocative,the disturbing,and things that dispel the notion that the future will all be nice and cosy...for in truth it won't be....Give me my dram of discomfort please! ]]> ~gmonkai